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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29098320">Follow You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/zigzagzombies/pseuds/zigzagzombies'>zigzagzombies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feral Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Feral My Unit | Byleth, POV Multiple, Possessive Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:08:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>212,272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29098320</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/zigzagzombies/pseuds/zigzagzombies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A mostly canon retelling of the Azure Moon route of Fire Emblem: Three Houses with a strong Dimileth focus. Follows the events of the game through the academy phase and the war phase and then beyond, including taking on the remnants of TWSITD. Heavily focused on the Blue Lions, the other students are not as present but some will show up.</p><p>Point of view switches between Byleth (first person) and Dimitri (third person) with some events being told from both points of view.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd &amp; My Unit | Byleth, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Ingrid Brandl Galatea/Sylvain Jose Gautier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. An Inevitable Encounter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Tagged as Underage due to some romantic events taking place prior to Dimitri's birthday when he is still 17. Marked as Explicit for eventual smut scenes later on. Major character deaths will be taking place later on as well.</p><p>I renamed my MC as Freyja and that is how I originally wrote this fic when I had no intentions of sharing it - I'll be doing find &amp; replace to Byleth when adding chapters, but I apologize if any get missed. I will do my best to correct them if they do slip through. I also updated my MC's birthday to my own, and have no intentions of changing that as there are certain events written around it, so, tough luck there.</p><p>This is my first time sharing a fic, so please be gentle, and I hope you enjoy it! I'll be looking forward to reading your comments! The first chapter is quite a bit shorter as it's based around the prologue, the others will be longer or broken up into multiple chapters. Some chapters/scenes also have songs from my Dimileth playlist associated with them so I will aim to point them out where applicable. The title of the work, for example, is based on Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon.</p><p>I will aim to update every week or so, but bear with me if work gets a bit crazy and I fall behind.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>There was that dream again. Rain poured from the heavens. Soldiers ran across a massive battlefield, pegasus knights charged through the sky. Another army advanced from the other side until the two forces clashed together. Carnage reigned, and then a light tore through the sky as a sword shot down and collided with the earth, the impact sending flames scattering out in a circle, clearing a section of the battleground.</p>
<p>A man landed in the center of the flames next to the sword, wrapping his hand around it and pulling it from the ground. When the flames cleared, the armies forged ahead with this man leading the charge.</p>
<p>Across the battlefield, red light began to erupt at various points. The absolute scale of the battle was shocking. My focus narrowed in on another point where a soldier charged at a woman with long green hair braided back with flowers placed in framing her face, a headdress of dragon’s wings atop her head, resplendent in a flowing white dress with gold armor over it. She held a shield in one hand, but did not move to block the incoming blow.</p>
<p>A soldier jumped in front of her, blocking the blow for her, but he was knocked back from the force of it. “Lady Seiros…” he called, reverently, as he fell to the ground, taking the attacker with him.</p>
<p>The battlefield was now clear between the man who had taken the sword from the flames and the woman--Lady Seiros. The man stared at her for a long moment before raising his sword and swinging it towards her with a cry. The sword’s serrated blade split apart into many sections, a whip launching outwards and clearing the path between the two as red energy crackled along the length of the blade.</p>
<p>Lady Seiros finally drew her own blade and went charging forward to meet the man who barely managed to block it in time. The two traded blows back and forth, neither gaining the upper ground. They came together once again, swords locked against each other, before Lady Seiros jumped back.</p>
<p>The man took advantage of this move, sending his sword whipping towards her again, only to glance off the armor covering her stomach. He sent another whipping blow her way, but she ducked and rolled beneath it. The whip came for her again, but she caught it with her sword. The whip wrapped around her sword, and she wrenched her weapon back, pulling the sword from the man’s grasp and sending both weapons clattering to the ground behind them. </p>
<p>Lady Seiros rushed forward, slamming her fist up into the man’s chin, and then following up with a kick to the chest that sent him crashing to the ground. As he struggled to rise, Lady Seiros landed atop him, a dagger at his throat.</p>
<p>“Tell me, Nemesis,” She spat at him. “Do you recall the Red Canyon?”</p>
<p>His eyes widened slightly.</p>
<p>And then Lady Seiros was raising her arm. “You’ll die for that! Die! Die!” She screamed as she plunged the dagger into his chest over and over. “You took… everything that I loved.”</p>
<p>She panted for a moment over the now dead body as the soldiers around her began to cheer. And then she rose, picking up the bloody sword left behind by the man and cradling it to her chest. “He’s gone now, Mother…” she said, sounding relieved.</p>
<p>And then, everything was black.</p>
<p>When I could finally see again, I was looking upon a throne. A small girl dozed in the chair, her brilliant green hair almost as long as she was tall. Sections were braided in front of her with ribbons. A headdress marked with hearts and stars was atop her head. Her ears tapered out into fine points.</p>
<p>As I watched her, she slowly opened her eyes and raised her head. She rubbed her eyes, yawned, and then looked at me. “Oh, my,” she remarked, sounding almost bored. “What could’ve brought you here?”</p>
<p>She yawned again and before I could answer she was speaking again. “I wonder how you got in here… It is most rude to interrupt a moment of repose. Very rude indeed.” She gestured towards me. “Now come to me. I wish to have a look at you.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t help but think she did not speak like a child. I did not dare voice that thought, however. Instead, I did as she commanded and stepped forward to the base of the dais upon which her throne sat.</p>
<p>“Hmm… I have not seen the likes of you before. Who are you, anyway?” she asked.</p>
<p>I thought about it for a moment. Who was I? I was no one. Known by no one, except by a name whispered quietly in towns and taverns, spoken with a mix of fear and reverence--the Ashen Demon, who would destroy her enemies without a hint of emotion on her face.</p>
<p>“I’m a demon,” I responded flatly.</p>
<p>The girl clicked her tongue in disapproval. “Do not deceive. You would do well to keep your wit in line.”</p>
<p>“I’m a mortal, then,” I admitted. I didn’t always feel like one. I didn’t feel like anything at all. Maybe I really was a demon, despite my dream’s desire to disagree with me.</p>
<p>“I see. Then you must have a name of sorts,” she prompted. “Go on.”</p>
<p>“Byleth Eisner.”</p>
<p>“Huh. I shall not ever grow accustomed to the sound of human names. You must possess a day of birth as well. Beneath which moon and what day were you born to this world?”</p>
<p>“The 22nd day of the Verdant Rain Moon.”</p>
<p>“Well, wonders never cease! It seems we share our day of birth. How strange.” She said pensively.</p>
<p>Before I could respond, she was yawning again. “Hmm. It all feels so… familiar. I think it may be time for yet another nap… It is almost… time to… begin…”</p>
<p>Time to begin what? As I opened my mouth to press for answers, she was already settling back into her throne, sleeping, and I was thrust back into darkness.</p><hr/>
<p>“Hey. Time to wake up.”</p>
<p>I woke with a start to the sound of my father’s voice on the other side of the bedroom door. I must have fallen asleep waiting for the rest of the band to be ready to move out. I rose from the bed I’d crashed onto with my clothes still on, attempting to straighten them as I did so.</p>
<p>I smoothed my greenish black hair by running my fingers through it. The layers fell and smoothed, my bangs brushed over my eyebrows and the full length fell to my shoulder blades. I adjusted the pieces of silver armor fixed to my shoulders, my elbows, and my left knee. I then checked that the braces protecting my wrists and hands were still fixed in place.</p>
<p>I paused in front of the mirror then, dark blue eyes staring back at me. I was wearing my usual attire, a tight black top that came to the bottom of my ribs with a portion cut open at the chest. Thin black armor was strapped to my sides, my midriff left bare. Tight black shorts that ended almost where they began at the top of my thighs, revealing lacy black stockings that met knee-length black, high-heeled boots. I adjusted the buttons of the white cravat at my throat and fixed the golden brooch with a star design on it, smoothing the red tassels that fell from it onto my chest.</p>
<p>I adjusted the open black skirt that fell from my hips to my calves, covering only my backside. I double checked the buckles on the belt that held a small dagger across my hips--a gift, from my father Jeralt. It had a gold hilt with a crossguard resembling spread wings and sat in a dark blue scabbard. It was perhaps my most prized possession.</p>
<p>Feeling satisfied that everything was in place, I finally retrieved my gray coat from the chair I’d left it to rest on and threw it over my shoulders. It fell to my mid-thigh, but the billowing sleeves had slits cut through down the side for my arms to go through. There was black armor across the shoulders. Perhaps it was impractical attire for the battlefield, but if there was one thing Jeralt had taught me it was to use every possible avenue to achieve victory, and one of my avenues was distraction.</p>
<p>I’d dressed as a boy for most of my life, until my figure had developed too far to hide, and then I’d swung in the other direction and embraced the budding femininity in full. The truth was though that the outfit was not just a practice in battlefield distraction, but something that I liked. Jeralt had slapped down a considerable amount of gold the moment I’d expressed interest in the tights, buying me enough pairs to last through the inevitable rips and tears the battlefield brought. He’d said that he was just happy I was interested in anything.</p>
<p>I finally reached for the door and stepped through it into the main room to meet my father. He was ready to go, his light brown hair braided back, all of his armor strapped on.</p>
<p>“Were you having that dream again?” He asked, eyeing me.</p>
<p>I thought about it for a moment. It had been the same dream, but it seemed different this time. The girl had never spoken to me before, instead she had always been sleeping. “I was dreaming about a young girl.”</p>
<p>“You’ve described her to me before. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like that,” he said, placing a hand on his chin for a moment while he thought. He finally shrugged. “In any case, just put that out of your mind for now. The battlefield is no place for idle thoughts. Risking your life is part of the job for mercenaries like us. Letting your mind wander is a sure way to get yourself killed.”</p>
<p>I nodded. It wasn’t the first time I’d been given this piece of advice.</p>
<p>“Ok, time to get moving. Our next job is in the Kingdom. I told you before. It’s far from here, so we’ll need to leave at dawn.”</p>
<p>I nodded again, seeing from the windows behind my father that dawn was on its way. “Of course.”</p>
<p>Jeralt looked towards the door, hearing sounds from beyond it. “Hm? Good grief. Everyone is already waiting for us outside.”</p>
<p>The sound did not remain beyond the door, however. One of the mercenaries from my father’s band burst through. “Jeralt! Sir!” He caught sight of me standing there and paused, as if regretting not knocking first. “Sorry to barge in, but your presence is needed.”</p>
<p>“What’s happened?” Jeralt demanded.</p><hr/>
<p>The mercenary led us to the edge of Remire Village where we were staying. Three figures stood waiting for us, two tall men and one woman. They each wore similar clothing--black with silver accents, what looked like a uniform, but each was accented with a different color.</p>
<p>The one on the left had golden-brown skin and messy black hair with a small section by his right ear that was longer than the rest and braided. His gray eyes looked almost mischievous. He wore a yellow shirt beneath the opened front of his uniform’s coat which had a yellow collar, and a short yellow cape was fixed to his left shoulder. He had a bow strapped to his back.</p>
<p>The one in the middle had a mop of thick blonde hair smoothed back across his head, but bits of the mane fell in front of his face, framing his piercing blue eyes. He was strikingly handsome, but something about him felt unreachable. His uniform was pristine and pressed, and he had a blue collar, and a blue belt holding in place a blue cape over his left shoulder that fell to his waist. He appeared more prepared for battle than the one on his left, evidenced by the armor he wore--gauntlets on his wrist and armored boots. A blue belt was across his chest, resting on his right shoulder and holding a blade in place at his left hip, but he also had a lance strapped across his back.</p>
<p>The one on the right was the woman. She was slightly shorter than the two men, but still taller than me--not that it was a difficult feat. She wore small black shorts and bright red stockings that flowed into short, high heeled boots. Her jacket featured a white, ruffled cravat that fell over most of her chest. And over her left shoulder was fastened a cape of brilliant red. Her hair was white and fell to her hips, the front of her hair held back in place with violet ribbons, leaving chin-length bangs to frame the rest of her face. There was something in her violet eyes and small smile that unnerved me. An axe was hanging at her hip.</p>
<p>My gaze fell back on the blonde in the middle. For some reason, I felt unable to look away. I realized that it may have been the first time I was ever taking notice of a man at all. Men had taken notice of me before. One had even tried to touch me once--just once. At a tavern as the band had traveled towards our next mission, a new recruit had tried to grab me. Jeralt’s hand had been on the hilt of his blade in the blink of an eye, but it had been unnecessary. Not when I caught the man's hand the moment it settled on my hip. I’d held his hand in place and driven my knee up into the joint of his elbow, breaking his sword arm with a satisfying snap. No one had dared try to touch the Ashen Demon since. It was evidence of the way that I noticed all men--the ways to hurt them.</p>
<p>But now as I watched the blonde man, I was noticing the way his bangs fell in front of his face. The broad set of his shoulders. The way his cheekbones stood out, the strong line of his jaw. <i>The battlefield is no place for idle thoughts,</i> I reminded myself, sure that my father would have scolded me if he knew what I’d been thinking.</p>
<p>My father and I approached, Jeralt standing somewhat protectively in front of me.</p>
<p>The blonde I was staring at spoke first. “Please forgive our intrusion. We wouldn’t bother you were the situation not dire.” His tone was apologetic and serious, his voice deep and sincere.</p>
<p>“What do a bunch of kids like you want at this hour?” Jeralt demanded. A fair question, considering that it was not quite dawn yet.</p>
<p>“We’re being pursued by a group of bandits. I can only hope that you will be so kind as to lend your support,” The blonde responded.</p>
<p>“Bandits? Here?” Jeralt asked incredulously.</p>
<p>“It’s true. They attacked us while we were at rest in our camp,” The girl responded this time. The small smile did not leave her lips.</p>
<p>The dark-haired man chimed in this time, shaking his head and rubbing his left temple with his fingers, trying to fill in the gaps left by his companions, one who was overly polite and one who was overly cryptic. “We’ve been separated from our companions and we’re outnumbered. They’re after our lives… not to mention our gold.”</p>
<p>Jeralt placed his hands on his hips. “I’m impressed you’re staying so calm considering the situation. I… Wait. That uniform…”</p>
<p>Before my father could continue one of the mercenaries from our band ran up. “Bandits spotted just outside the village!” He reported, and then continued. “Damn… There are a lot of them.”</p>
<p>Jeralt looked at the three beseeching us for help. “I guess they followed you all the way here. We can’t abandon this village now.” He turned his focus to me. “Come on, let’s move. Hope you’re ready.”</p>
<p>I nodded, drawing the sword hanging at my hip.</p>
<p>We moved forward, trying to put some distance between us and the village before the bandits met up with us. Our three new companions advanced with us. The dark-haired man held a bow, the blonde held a lance, and the woman held an axe.</p>
<p>“Let’s take care of those thieves before they overrun the village. Take down the enemies in front first. That should take wind out of their sails,” Jeralt commanded as the first of the bandits appeared through the forest.</p>
<p>My blood began to hum as it always did before battle. Perhaps it was the only time where I felt truly alive, where I could be the demon hiding beneath my skin.</p>
<p>Our new companions had spread out. I wove between the trees silently, watching for the first sign of combat, for the first sign of an enemy to fall to my blade. I passed by the woman, who smiled at me. “You have a strange aura about you… You say you’re a mercenary, so show me what you can do,” she said as a bandit broke through the trees in front of us.</p>
<p>I spun, ducking as the man swung, sliding my sword through his chest before he could even get a word out. Blood splattered my hands as I withdrew my blade from his chest cavity. I didn’t bother a look back at the woman as I continued to creep through the trees.</p>
<p>The dark-haired man was hiding in the trees to my left, an arrow knocked in his bow. He didn’t see the bandit advancing from his right, but I did. My sword was through his torso before he knew I was there.</p>
<p>The dark-haired man’s eyes widened as he beheld me. “It’s because of you guys that I’m not dead right now. Thanks for that!” He winked. “I didn’t expect to run into mercenaries like you in some remote village. The gods of fortune must be smiling upon me!”</p>
<p>I at least spared him another glance before stalking off again.</p>
<p>The blonde had moved farther forward than the other two. I reached his side as two bandits appeared through the trees in front of us. Our met eyes briefly and I could have sworn that understanding flashed in his as we moved forward together, turning so our backs were facing as we both plunged forward to the enemies on either side of us.</p>
<p>He brought his lance down expertly as I slashed my sword through my own enemy. His gaze slid back to me as he pulled his lance from the dead bandit. “Thank you. We are in your debt. It wouldn’t do for us to fall in a place like this. Please, lend us your strength. Let’s work together to drive out these thieves!”</p>
<p>I nodded as we moved back to back again, taking out several more bandits before it was quiet again. As the last of the group ran towards me I ducked down, bringing my fist into his gut. As he fell to his knees before me, I whipped my sword in front of me, severing his head from his neck and setting it rolling across the ground.</p>
<p>I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me and turned to see the blonde staring at the head as it rolled to his feet. A muscle pulsed in his jaw. His fists clenched, and then just as quickly as they had tensed, they relaxed again.</p>
<p>I moved back into the quiet of the trees and continued on, killing as I went, the sounds of fighting erupting around me. And then I saw him. A big, unfortunate looking bearded man who was complaining loudly, “Damn. Why are there mercenaries in the village? Guess we’ll have to deal with them too.”</p>
<p>I emerged from the trees before him then, my grip tightening on my blade.</p>
<p>He glared in my direction, moving to swing his axe towards me. “Hey, you with the blank stare! Outta my way!”</p>
<p>I raised my sword to catch the blow, but before I could my father crashed through the trees, catching the axe with his lance. “I’ve got you, Byleth!” He called.</p>
<p>As the bandit assessed my father, recognition flitted across his face. “What the?! Aren’t you Jeralt the Blade Breaker? What’s a renowned mercenary like you doing here?”</p>
<p>Jeralt laughed, pushing back with his lance and sending the bandit leader on the defensive. “I’m the one who should be complaining. I’m caught up in the mess you started!”</p>
<p>I moved to advance, but before I could, my father had sent the bandit to the ground with the blunt end of his lance, effectively knocking him out. It was just like Jeralt to spare his life to see if he could get more information first.</p>
<p>My father took one glance back at me and then was crashing through the trees again, hunting for any stragglers.</p>
<p>The woman from before emerged from the trees beside me to survey the bandit.</p>
<p>Before I could do anything, the man on the ground leapt to his feet--he’d apparently been faking his unconsciousness. “You’ll die!” he screamed, his gaze fixed on the woman.</p>
<p>She drew a dagger from a sheath at her side, but it wouldn’t help her. Not as the bandit raised his axe and jumped through the air. Without thinking, I leapt in front of her, preparing to take the blow from his raised axe myself.</p>
<p>As the axe was about to cut into my back, likely ending my life, everything stopped. The colors around me inverted, and suddenly I was in complete darkness. I thought maybe this was death, but then I saw a throne before me, and the girl on the throne surveyed me with disapproval.</p>
<p>“Honestly! What are you trying to accomplish with that little stunt?! It’s like you’re trying to get me killed, you fool!” she berated.</p>
<p>I looked around, expecting to see some remnant of reality, but there was only the girl on her throne.</p>
<p>She breathed a heavy sigh as she lounged on her throne. “Well, it’s fine. After all, if you don’t know the value of your own life, you’re not going to protect it very well, are you? ‘Course not.”</p>
<p>She let a little laugh slip out as she rose from her throne and clapped her hands together. “Well, then. I guess it’s up to me to guide you from now on. Right?” A small smile graced her lips. “You can call me Sothis… but I’m also known as ‘The Beginning.’”</p>
<p>She paused then, resting her cheek in her hand as she gazed around thoughtfully. “Hmm… Sothis… Yes, that is it. My name is Sothis. And I am also called… The Beginning. But who once called me that?”</p>
<p>I was silent for a moment before I finally managed, “Sothis?”</p>
<p>“I was not able to recall my name… until just now,” she admitted. “And just like that, it came to me. How odd.” She frowned at me then. “That look upon your face… Did you think me a child? A mere child who forgot her own name?! Phooey. That ‘child’ just saved your life! And what does that make you?”</p>
<p>“I’m less than a child?” I asked.</p>
<p>She nodded approvingly. “Correct! You understand.” She folded her arms across her chest then. “You threw yourself before an axe to save just one young girl. Yet all is well, as I have stalled the flow of time for now. You would have died had I not intervened.”</p>
<p>It was true. I had expected to feel the axe cutting through my torso not moments ago. I still was not sure that I wasn’t experiencing death right now. But this did not seem like dying. There was no pain, the blow that I was expecting still had not arrived. “You stopped time?” I finally asked, scarcely believing it despite the evidence before me.</p>
<p>“Hm. I do not hear your gratitude. Perhaps I should force you to leave?”</p>
<p>I did not want to die. I bowed then. “Thank you, Sothis.” I meant it. I had been willing to jump in front of the blow, but I did not wish to die.</p>
<p>“There now. Is gratitude so much to ask? I did deem you worth saving, after all.” She smiled faintly. “Though it is only momentary, time has stopped. However did I manage that…”</p>
<p>“What will happen when time resumes?” I asked, thinking of the blow waiting to land.</p>
<p>“When time begins anew, the axe will tear into your flesh, and you will surely meet your end,” she shook her head in disapproval. “How rude of you to drag me into this! Now what to do…”</p>
<p>I pondered for a moment. Time was stopped, but that blow was waiting for me. And Sothis was right, it would tear into my body and I would meet my end as surely as I had delivered so many ends myself. But if I could go back, ready to meet the blow instead… “Turn back the hands of time,” I suggested. I did not know if it was possible, but if she had the power to stop time, perhaps she could run it back as well.</p>
<p>Sothis smiled broadly then. “Of course! I must turn back the hands of time!” Light flashed before her and an intricate design of circles and symbols flared to life, as large as she was. “Yes… I do believe it can be done. You really are quite troublesome. I cannot wind time back too far, but all is well. You are aware of what’s to come, which means you can protect yourself this time. Now, go… Yes, you who bears the flames within. Drift through the flow of time to find the answers you seek…”</p>
<p>Suddenly, I was back in reality. The colors remained inverted as I watched time itself move backwards, to the point where the bandit leader leapt from the ground when the colors righted themselves once more.</p>
<p>I glanced around, nobody seemed aware that time had just reversed. Nobody seemed aware of anything that had transpired. Nobody, except for me.</p>
<p>I rushed forward again, jumping in front of the woman to take the blow, but this time I was ready. I parried the blow from the axe and knocked it out of the bandit’s hands, sending him sprawling to the ground once more with a yell.</p>
<p>“Hey--over here!" The voice belonged to the dark-haired man. He and the blonde ran towards us.</p>
<p>Reunited, the three looked between each other and then ahead at me. Or at my father, who showed up behind me. He was looking at me, concern written across his features. "Hey… Did you just…"</p>
<p>Jeralt was cut off as a man in a full suit of silver armor, flanked by two knights, emerged onto the battlefield. This newcomer called out in a booming voice, "The Knights of Seiros are here! We'll cut you down for terrorizing our students."</p>
<p>The bandits and their leader wasted no time. Capitalizing on the newcomer drawing our focus, they were on their feet sprinting away. I moved to pursue, but Jeralt caught my arm. "Let it go, kid."</p>
<p>The dark-haired man led the woman away and the blonde followed him.</p>
<p>The newcomer was coming closer. "Hey, the thieves are running away! Go after them!" He commanded the two knights flanking him who broke off and went running in the direction the bandits had gone. He neared our gathering and surveyed us. "The students seem to be unharmed. And… who's this?"</p>
<p>My father let out a groan as he viewed the newcomer. "Ugh… Why him?" He muttered.</p>
<p>The newcomer's expression lit up when his gaze settled on Jeralt. "Captain Jeralt?! It is you! Goodness, it's been ages. Don't you recognize me? It's Alois! Your old right-hand man!" He gave a small shrug. "Well, that's how I always thought of myself anyway. It must have been twenty years ago that you went missing without a trace. I always knew you were still alive!"</p>
<p>My father shook his head exasperatedly. "You haven't changed a bit, Alois. Just as loud as ever. And drop that 'captain' nonsense. I'm not your captain anymore. These days I'm just a wandering mercenary. One who has work to do. Goodbye, old friend."</p>
<p>Alois nodded. "Right… Goodbye, Captain." As if catching himself, he threw a hand up. "Wait! That isn't how this ends. I insist that you return to the monastery with me!"</p>
<p>"Garreg Mach Monastery… I suppose this was inevitable," Jeralt responded.</p>
<p>I'd never heard of the monastery before, it wasn't somewhere we had made it to during our travels across Fódlan.</p>
<p>Alois turned to me then, as if noticing me standing silently behind my father then. "And how about you, kid? Are you the captain's child?"</p>
<p>I nodded. "That is correct."</p>
<p>Alois studied me for a moment. "Is that so? Well, physical differences aside, your mannerisms do remind me of the captain. I'd love for you to see the monastery too. You will join me, won't you?"</p>
<p>I nodded. If my father was going, I certainly was too.</p>
<p>Jeralt let out a sigh next to me, but he did not argue.</p>
<p>Alois turned his attention to my father again. "What's troubling you, Captain? You aren't about to run off again, are you?"</p>
<p>"Even I wouldn't dare run from the Knights of Seiros."</p>
<p>And with that, the two walked in the direction that Alois had arrived from, leaving me alone.</p>
<p><i>The Knights of Seiros… They do seem rather skilled.</i> I jumped and looked around as Sothis' voice sounded in my head. I could have sworn I heard her laugh before she followed up with, <i>Ah! It seems your presence is required. Get going!</i></p>
<p>Indeed, it seemed the three students, as Alois had referred to them, were waiting for me. I walked over to where they stood patiently, all eyeing me.</p>
<p>The woman spoke first, that small smile still present on her features. "I appreciate your help back there. Your skill is beyond question. You're clearly an experienced mercenary. And your father… that would be Jeralt, the Blade Breaker? Former captain of the Knights of Seiros. Oft praised as the strongest knight to ever live. Have I missed anything?" Her gaze was cool and assessing.</p>
<p>I didn't like the way she watched me. Nor did I like the way she seemed to know much more about my father than I did. "I didn't know he was a captain," I admitted.</p>
<p>She shook her head. "How curious. I'd wager the reason for that is fascinating indeed. What’s your name?"</p>
<p>“Byleth Eisner,” I responded flatly.</p>
<p>"Hey! You are coming with us to the monastery, right?" The dark-haired man gestured in my direction. "Of course you are. I'd love to bend your ear as we travel. Oh, I should mention that the three of us are students of the Officers Academy at Garreg Mach Monastery. We were doing some training exercises when those bandits attacked. I definitely got the worst of it."</p>
<p>"That would be because you ran off," scolded the woman.</p>
<p>The dark-haired man nodded. "Too true! I was the first to make a strategic retreat. Everything would have worked out if these two hadn't followed me and ruined everything. Because of them, every single one of those bandits chased after us. Utterly ridiculous."</p>
<p>The blonde let out a small chuckle as he looked at his dark-haired companion. "Ah, so that's what you were thinking, Claude. And here I thought you were acting as a decoy for the sake of us all."</p>
<p>The woman surveyed the blonde with disapproval. "His intentions were clear as day. You will prove a lacking ruler if you cannot see the truth behind a person's words, Dimitri."</p>
<p>The blonde--Dimitri's attention slid back to the woman. "Hm. You will prove a lacking ruler yourself if you look for deceit behind every word and fail to trust those whom you rely on."</p>
<p>The dark-haired man, Claude, chimed in next. "Oh, joy. A royal debate between Their Highnesses. I wonder how being completely predictable affects one's ability to wield power. Personally, as the embodiment of distrust, I'd say your little exchange smacks of naiveté," he finished with a wink.</p>
<p>Their Highnesses? I sincerely hoped that I was not in the presence of actual royalty, but I did not get the feeling that my hopes would be answered. I was known for being difficult to interact with, and I was certain to make a mistake in front of royalty that would be punishable.</p>
<p>My thoughts were interrupted as the woman snapped, her tone incredulous, "Me? Naive? Tell me, are you actually incapable of keeping quiet, or is your lack of self-awareness a condition of some sort?"</p>
<p>I was preparing to try and slip away and leave Their Highnesses to their argument when Dimitri's gaze focused on me once more. His tone was apologetic when he spoke, "In any case, forgive our digression. I must speak with you, if you can spare a moment. The way you held your ground against the bandits' leader was captivating! You never lost control of the situation. It showed me I still have much to learn."</p>
<p>The woman interrupted, "Your skill is precisely why I must ask you to consider lending your services to the Empire. I might as well tell you now. I am no mere student. I am also the Adrestian Empire's--"</p>
<p>Dimitri turned his head towards the woman. "Halt, Edelgard. Please allow me to finish my own proposition." He was clearly perturbed by the interruption but too polite to respond more strongly. He looked back at me. "The Holy Kingdom of Faerghus is in dire need of exceptional individuals such as yourself. Please, do consider returning to the Kingdom with me."</p>
<p>Claude threw his hands up. "Whoa, there! You two sure are hasty. Trying to recruit someone you just met." He shook his head and winked at me. "Tactless, really. I was personally planning to develop a deep and lasting friendship on our journey back to the monastery before begging for favors. But it seems there's no time for niceties in this world. So, capable stranger, let's get right to it. Where does your allegiance lie?"</p>
<p>Before I could even think how absurd this all was, Sothis' voice was echoing in my head, <i>Hmm. It seems one's place of birth is quite significant to them. Yet they are so impressed by you, that you may take your pick. Well?</i></p>
<p>I paused for a moment, considering. If I was being honest, I didn't really know a lot about any of the three countries. But my father and I had been about to depart for the Kingdom before we were interrupted this morning. Perhaps that would return my life back to a predictable path. Or maybe, a small part of me whispered, I was curious about the first man that had ever elicited any kind of reaction from me. "The Holy Kingdom of Faerghus," I said, although I was certain my voice betrayed some of my uncertainty.</p>
<p>A smile graced Dimitri's lips. It softened his features in a way that made it hard to look away. "Understood. Faerghus is a noble and distinguished kingdom that has always valued chivalry." His smile faltered for just a second, and in the blink of an eye it was back again.</p>
<p>Valuing chivalry certainly explained a lot about the overly polite man in front of me. Growing up surrounded by mercenaries, there was little room in my life for politeness. The most I got was hesitation to even look in my direction and that was likely more from fear of Jeralt's reaction--or mine--than anything else.</p>
<p>Alois came upon our small group then. "All right, that's enough with the small talk. It's time to head back to the monastery."</p>
<p>"Looks like we'll have to pick this up another time." Claude winked at me again before he stalked off after Alois, flanked by Dimitri and Edelgard.</p>
<p>I wondered if I should keep track of the number of times he winked. Perhaps my father would have made a drinking game of it. It was a relief to be alone again. I didn’t have a lot of experience interacting with others off of the battlefield.</p>
<p>As if to remind me that I was not quite alone, Sothis again spoke in my mind, <i>My, my. They are in such a hurry. You know, each of the three is most unique.</i></p>
<p>I considered each of them, echoing my thoughts back to Sothis. Somehow, talking to her did not feel strange. While it was new, she somehow felt familiar, like a companion who had always been with me.</p>
<p>Edelgard. I thought of the way she always watched me with that small smile and cool gaze. <i>She is a refined young woman… But I feel as though she is always evaluating me...</i></p>
<p>Claude. I thought of his constant winks and the way it seemed like everything was part of a scheme he was hatching. <i>His easy smile is striking… But that smile doesn't reach his eyes...</i></p>
<p>Dimitri. I thought of the gentle smile that had warmed his demeanor but also of the way he had fallen into step so flawlessly with me on the battlefield like an experienced fighter, but he’d frozen for some reason too. <i>He seems quite sincere… But I sense darkness lurking beneath…</i></p>
<p><i>Yes, I thought the same,</i> Sothis responded before stifling a yawn. <i>I am so sleepy once again. I may be sleeping… But I…</i></p>
<h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>As unlucky as they’d been to run into an organized force of bandits during a regular training exercise, it seemed for once in his life that Dimitri was equally lucky, as they’d fled to the nearby Remire Village to discover a mercenary company preparing to depart. After a quick explanation of the situation, one of the men had run off to ‘grab the boss and his daughter.’ He’d been a bit surprised to hear the mention of a woman among the mercenaries. Not that women could not be extremely capable fighters, Ingrid and Edelgard were both good examples of that. But a woman amongst a band of rowdy sellswords was less common, although if her father ran the group, he supposed it made sense.</p>
<p>A rough looking man approached. He was tall, standing a few inches above Dimitri, and stocky, with wide shoulders and a barrel chest. He had sandy colored hair, shaved close on the sides of his head, but longer on the top and braided down to the back of his neck. There was a thick scar across his left cheekbone and his face was lined with thick stubble. A man who had seen plenty of combat and had the confidence to lead a group of fighters.</p>
<p>Behind the man, standing slightly to his side, was the most beautiful woman that Dimitri had ever seen. She looked young, he figured she couldn’t have been more than a couple years older than him. She was surprisingly small for a fighter, standing below the man’s shoulder. She looked like she would maybe make it to Dimitri’s own shoulder. And slender--it was easy to see the perfect hourglass of her figure when she wore a skin-tight top with armor cut to expose the plane of her stomach and equally tight black shorts that barely passed over the curve of her backside. Her legs were clad in intricate lace stockings that led to knee-high boots with heels. She’d be even smaller in stature in her bare feet.</p>
<p>A dagger in a familiar looking blue sheath was strapped to a belt slung across her hips, along with a well-used steel sword. Layers of green-black hair cascaded down to her shoulder blades, with messy bangs sweeping across her forehead. She had a slender face and heart shaped lips. But her dark blue eyes… they were dead, lifeless. She stared ahead with a blank look, as if she were only half awake. It sent chills down his spine even as his breath caught in his throat at the sight of her.</p>
<p>If it weren’t for the weapons hanging at her side, Dimitri wasn’t sure he would’ve believed she was a mercenary. But there were small signs pointing to a trained warrior. Thin scars peppering the exposed skin of her arms. The iron gauntlets on her wrists and the piece of armor adorning her left knee. Her thighs were thick with muscle beneath the sinful lace, her biceps were toned from swinging a blade. There was thick black armor on the shoulders of her jacket.</p>
<p>The man looked at him and his companions expectantly and Dimitri tried to remember who he was and how to breathe. “Please forgive our intrusion,” he said apologetically. “We wouldn’t bother you were the situation not dire.”</p>
<p>“What do a bunch of kids like you want at this hour?” the man asked gruffly.</p>
<p>“We’re being pursued by a group of bandits. I can only hope that you will be so kind as to lend your support,” Dimitri beseeched the man. It was easier to remember their purpose when he focused on the man rather than his daughter.</p>
<p>“Bandits? Here?” the man asked incredulously.</p>
<p>“It’s true,” Edelgard said coolly at his side. “They attacked us while we were at rest at our camp.”</p>
<p>Claude at his other side rubbed at his left temple. “We’ve been separated from our companions and we’re outnumbered. They’re after our lives… not to mention our gold.”</p>
<p>The mercenary leader appraised them with his hands on his hips, seemingly unphased by Claude’s less than subtle offer of gold. “I’m impressed you’re staying so calm considering the situation. I…” His eyebrows rose. “Wait. That uniform…”</p>
<p>He was interrupted as another mercenary came running up. “Bandits spotted just outside the village! Damn… There are a lot of them.”</p>
<p>The leader frowned at Dimitri and his companions. “I guess they followed you all the way here. We can’t abandon this village now.” He turned to look at the woman behind him. “Come on, let’s move. Hope you’re ready.”</p>
<p>The woman nodded mutely and drew the sword at her side in a fluid, practiced movement.</p>
<p>They’d all moved into the fray together, using the forest outside the village for cover. Dimitri had lost sight of the others soon after as he moved ahead, lance in hand.</p>
<p>Until she appeared. She emerged from the trees, her blade and her hands coated in blood. Her expression was like stone, but her eyes… unlike the dead way she’d watched the earlier exchange, they were now alight, like she were finally awake and present. His gaze locked with those eyes as two more bandits crashed through the trees in front of them, and then it was almost instinctual the way he moved to stand back to back with her and take on their new enemies, like fighting at the side of an old comrade.</p>
<p>Dimitri turned back to look at her as he withdrew his lance from his foe. “Thank you,” he called to her. “We are in your debt. It wouldn’t do for us to fall in a place like this. Please, lend us your strength. Let’s work together to drive out these thieves!”</p>
<p>She just nodded, no words leaving those perfect lips. They threw themselves back against several more bands that had appeared. And then she maneuvered in front of a man and severed his head clean off. Her face was blank, bored, her eyes were a bottomless pit. Unfeeling. As Dimitri stared at the head that rolled to his feet--his father’s head--he thought his lance might snap in his grip. It was hard to breathe. He blinked. The bandit’s head came into focus before his eyes.</p>
<p><i>I’m here, boy,</i> his father growled in his ear. He took a shaky breath and willed his body to steady itself. In that time, she had disappeared. They were bandits, not good people of course, but did she feel nothing as she cut them down?</p>
<p>After a few more deep breaths he reminded himself that there were still bandits after them, and regardless of how he felt about it or her, they did need to be put down. He started moving forward again, finding himself following a trail of corpses left behind in the woman’s wake.</p>
<p>“Hey--over here!” Claude called.</p>
<p>Dimitri ran over to find the woman standing protectively between Edelgard and the remaining bandits. The mercenary leader was hot on their heels, following Claude’s voice as well.</p>
<p>The man studied his daughter carefully. “Hey… Did you just…”</p>
<p>He was cut off by the arrival of Alois, flanked by two knights. “The Knights of Seiros are here! We’ll cut you down for terrorizing our students,” Alois bellowed.</p>
<p>Claude grabbed Edelgard by the arm and pulled her away from the small gathering that was forming as the bandits fled. Dimitri reluctantly followed. He was curious about the exchange that was taking place between the mercenaries and Alois, but he was also relieved to see that his stepsister, the only family he had left, was unharmed.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Claude asked Edelgard after they’d put some distance between the two groups.</p>
<p>“The mercenary stepped in and saved me. She is rather interesting,” Edelgard responded with her usual cool smile.</p>
<p>Interesting was certainly one way to describe her. Not the first word that Dimitri would have chosen, but correct nonetheless.</p>
<p>“It seems Alois knows the leader. Do you two know who that is?” Edelgard asked him and Claude, her smile widening like she was in on a joke that they were not.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. He hadn’t much experience with mercenaries, and certainly not enough to recognize any. It didn’t help that legends and stories were always light on details concerning appearance. Even well known legends such as the Blade Breaker or the Ashen Demon were described almost entirely by their presence on the battlefield--the former regarded as one of the strongest fighters the world had ever seen and the latter being known as a calamity upon battlefields, cutting through enemies without an ounce of remorse. In fact, it wasn’t even clear whether the Ashen Demon was a man or a woman, although if the tales were true, perhaps there were few who had survived to even share that information.</p>
<p>Claude opened his mouth to speak but Edelgard silenced him with a quick, “You’ll find out soon enough.” Her violet eyes had focused behind them where they had left the mercenaries. Dimitri turned to see the woman approaching.</p>
<p>“I appreciate your help back there,” Edelgard said to her with a small smirk. “Your skill is beyond question. You’re clearly an experienced mercenary. And your father… that would be Jeralt, the Blade Breaker? Former captain of the Knights of Seiros. Oft praised as the strongest knight to ever live. Have I missed anything?”</p>
<p>Jeralt, the Blade Breaker. Dimitri froze. They had not just chanced upon any mercenary company. They had chanced upon one led by the Blade Breaker himself. And if the legends were true… In the last ten years, the Blade Breaker had not shown up without the Ashen Demon at his side. He couldn’t help but admit that the woman did fit some of what he’d heard about the Ashen Demon, but she was far too young to have been a mercenary for ten years. She’d have been a child when the legends began to spread. Her skill, certainly, made sense though, if her father was not just any mercenary but the Blade Breaker himself.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know he was a captain,” the woman responded simply, unphased by hearing her father described as ‘the strongest knight to ever live.’ Being captain of the Knights of Seiros was no small feat either, and Dimitri was shocked to hear her admit that it was new information to her.</p>
<p>Edelgard shook her head in response. “How curious. I’d wager the reason for that is fascinating indeed. What’s your name?”</p>
<p>“Byleth Eisner,” the woman responded in a flat tone. It was the first time he’d heard her speak that morning. Even as her voice betrayed no emotion, the honeyed pitch threatened to make him weak in the knees.</p>
<p>Byleth. An old name originating in the Kingdom, one that had long fallen to usage only in obscure books. It was a name that meant beauty and love, but also war and death. Even as he wondered how she had come to be bestowed with such a name, he realized how fitting it was. She was undeniably beautiful, and seemingly even more dangerous.</p>
<p>His gaze fell to the dagger she wore on a thin belt around her waist. Up close, he was able to make out the details of it. A sheath of dark blue with a single gold diamond shape at the top. A golden cross-guard like the spread wings of a griffin. A thick, black hilt with golden accents at the top. Dimitri would recognize the design of that dagger anywhere, for it was one that had been issued to those in the Kingdom’s royal guard since its founding.</p>
<p>How was it that a mercenary had come into possession of such a thing? How was it that a mercenary bore an ancient name from Faerghus? And how was it that she had appeared before him in a chance encounter?</p>
<p>Claude’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Hey! You are coming with us to the monastery, right?”</p>
<p>Dimitri couldn’t help but hope that she was.</p>
<p>“Of course you are,” Claude continued. “I’d love to bend your ear as we travel. Oh, I should mention that the three of us are students of the Officers Academy at Garreg Mach Monastery. We were doing some training exercises when those bandits attacked. I definitely got the worst of it.”</p>
<p>“That would be because you ran off,” Edelgard scolded.</p>
<p>Claude just nodded. “Too true! I was the first to make a strategic retreat. Everything would have worked out if these two--” He paused and gestured to Dimitri and Edelgard. “--hadn’t followed me and ruined everything. Because of them, every single one of those bandits chased after us. Utterly ridiculous.”</p>
<p>Dimitri couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “Ah, so that’s what you were thinking, Claude. And here I thought you were acting as a decoy for the sake of us all.” It was what he would have done, after all.</p>
<p>Edelgard shot him a disapproving look. “His intentions were clear as day. You will prove a lacking ruler if you cannot see the truth behind a person’s words, Dimitri.”</p>
<p>Always the disapproval from her, always the arrogance as if she were the only capable person in the world. “Hm. You will prove a lacking ruler yourself if you look for deceit behind every word and fail to trust those whom you rely on,” he responded smoothly.</p>
<p>“Oh, joy,” Claude began sarcastically. “A royal debate between Their Highnesses. I wonder how being completely predictable affects one’s ability to wield power. Personally, as the embodiment of distrust, I’d say your little exchange smacks of naiveté.” He finished with a wink at Byleth.</p>
<p>“Me? Naive?” Edelgard snapped. “Tell me, are you actually incapable of keeping quiet, or is your lack of self-awareness a condition of some sort?”</p>
<p>Claude and Edelgard were distractions that he didn’t need at the moment, not as Dimitri focused his attention back on the mercenary who seemed to be preparing to slip away as the conversation slipped away from her. And in that moment, he panicked. There was something about her that drew him in, even as she unnerved him. In a moment of stupidity or bravery or perhaps a mix of both, he decided that whatever chance encounter had brought her before him, he didn’t want to let her slip away.</p>
<p>“In any case, forgive our digression,” he said to her, trying to sound more calm than he felt. “I must speak with you, if you can spare a moment. The way you held your ground against the bandits’ leader was captivating! You never lost control of the situation. It showed me I still have much to learn.”</p>
<p>Edelgard cut him off. “Your skill is precisely why I must ask you to consider lending your services to the Empire. I might as well tell you now. I am no mere student. I am also the Adrestian Empire’s--”</p>
<p>“Halt, Edelgard,” Dimitri said reproachfully, cutting his stepsister off as she had cut him off. He couldn’t allow Edelgard to take the mercenary from him, even as he was grateful that he would look less desperate with his own proposition. He focused his gaze back on Byleth, who was watching passively. “The Holy Kingdom of Faerghus is in dire need of exceptional individuals such as yourself. Please, do consider returning to the Kingdom with me.”</p>
<p>There, he’d managed to get the words out. And even phrased things in such a way that it was her fighting skill that had entranced him and not everything else about her.</p>
<p><i>How unlike you,</i> Glenn said quietly behind him.</p>
<p>Dimitri was grateful for the distraction from the ghost that Claude provided when he threw his hands up. “Whoa, there! You two sure are hasty. Trying to recruit someone you just met. Tactless, really. I was personally planning to develop a deep and lasting friendship on our journey back to the monastery before begging for favors. But it seems there’s no time for niceties in this world. So, capable stranger, let’s get right to it. Where does your allegiance lie?”</p>
<p>The mercenary was quiet for a moment, and while her perfect mask stayed in place, Dimitri could’ve sworn he saw her brows crease thoughtfully for a second. “The Holy Kingdom of Faerghus,” she finally responded.</p>
<p>Had he heard her correctly? Just like that, had she really agreed to throw her lot in with him? He couldn’t help but smile. “Understood. Faerghus is a noble and distinguished kingdom that has always valued chivalry.”</p>
<p><i>Throwing her lot in with you, maybe you should warn her what that entails? Or have you forgotten your duty?</i> Glenn hissed sharply. Dimitri felt his smile falter, just for a second, before he was able to school it back in place.</p>
<p>“All right, that’s enough with the small talk,” Alois said as he approached. “It’s time to head back to the monastery.”</p>
<p>“Looks like we’ll have to pick this up another time,” Claude said to the mercenary with a wink before he moved to join Alois, motioning for Dimitri and Edelgard to follow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Three Houses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth gets thrust into becoming a professor and ends up choosing the Blue Lions after meeting all of the students. The mock battle takes place with a Blue Lions victory.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here's the chapter for Three Houses! I'm trying to hurry and get through more of the set up and initial ramp up so I can get to writing and sharing the really fun parts. Side note - battle scenes are hard to write!</p>
<p>If there are any parts that are told from one point of view and not the other that anyone would like to see, comment and I'll see if I can update at some point with additional view points. And let me know if anyone is interested in any bonus Jeralt point of view scenes as well!</p>
<p>I'll try and update with the next chapter within a week. Thank you to anyone reading for your support and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>The morning had progressed easily enough. It felt almost routine, marching along towards our next destination. Except for the fact that we were not marching to our next paid mission in the Kingdom with my father’s mercenary band, but rather marching with relative strangers to Garreg Mach Monastery. I couldn’t help but feel that things would not be routine again for a while, a belief which was reinforced by the fact that Jeralt had given his second-in-command charge of the mercenary band and sent them along without us.</p>
<p>Sunlight was streaming through the trees now. My father walked ahead with Alois and the Knights of Seiros while I hung back, walking with Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard. They had been mostly quiet, every now and then trading some banter amongst themselves that I mercifully was able to simply nod to in response.</p>
<p>But now, the silence was broken by Dimitri, looking at me. “This will be your first time at the monastery. I’d be happy to show you around,” he said, smiling gently.</p>
<p>“It really is Fódlan in a nutshell,” Claude chimed in. “The good and the bad.”</p>
<p>Edelgard remained looking forward, but spoke, almost sternly, “Like it or not, we’ll be there soon enough.”</p>
<p>And she was right. We reached where the trees parted and I was greeted with the sight of a grand building amongst the hills. Battlements and walls surrounded it further out, and then atop the hills in the center was the intimidating mass of stone that could only be the monastery.</p>
<p>“There it is. Garreg Mach Monastery,” Edelgard confirmed for me.</p>
<p>We continued in silence through the main gates of the massive compound. My three companions had moved ahead, along with the Knights of Seiros, leaving my father and I to walk through the gates together.</p>
<p>He stopped for a moment, staring up at a balcony high above looking out over the grounds. “Rhea’s here,” he said, gazing up at a woman standing at the edge of the balcony, watching us.</p>
<p>The woman’s exact features were difficult to make out from that far away, but she appeared to have striking mint colored hair and eyes, was clad head to toe in white robes with a blue shawl draped over her shoulders. And atop her head was a massive headdress, similar I realized to the one that Sothis wore, but much bigger, with a semi-circle piece at least six inches wide that went from one ear to the other and stood out like a crown. She looked positively regal, but this was a monastery, not a kingdom.</p>
<p>My father and I quickly made our way through the monastery, winding along as if he truly knew where he was going, before we reached an audience chamber on the second floor of the main building. It was empty save for the two of us at the moment. I wondered who we would be meeting.</p>
<p>“It’s been years since I’ve last set eyes on this place. To be forced to see her now…” He trailed off, sounding apprehensive.</p>
<p>I thought of the woman we’d seen standing atop the balcony. He had seemed unhappy about her presence then. But I asked the question that had been burning in me since the dawn. “You’ve been here before?”</p>
<p>He looked over at me, finally nodding. “I’ve never spoken of this to you before, but… many years ago, I was a knight here. I reported to the archbishop… Lady Rhea.”</p>
<p>“The archbishop?” I asked.</p>
<p>“As you know, the majority of folks in Fódlan are devout followers of the teachings of Seiros. The leader of that ridiculously large organization is the archbishop, Lady Rhea.”</p>
<p>I pondered this for a moment. I’d of course heard much of the Church of Seiros in passing, but never learned what they actually believed. The name sounded familiar though--Seiros. Had I heard it in a dream? If only dreams did not begin to slip away the moment one woke.</p>
<p>Before I could respond, however, I was interrupted by the arrival of the woman--Rhea--and a man with her. The man had dark green hair and a gold circlet across his brow and a thin beard. His clothing was in a similar style and coloring to Rhea’s, but he wore a button-down blue and white tunic and blue pants.</p>
<p>It was the man who spoke first, “Thank you for your patience, Jeralt. My name is Seteth. I am an advisor to the archbishop.” His tone was very matter-of-fact, and his gaze betrayed a lack of patience.</p>
<p>“Right. Hello,” Jeralt responded stiffly.</p>
<p>“It has been a long time, Jeralt,” Rhea finally spoke in a voice that was slow and airy sounding. “I wonder… was it the will of the goddess that we have another chance meeting like this?”</p>
<p>I watched as my father actually bowed. I’d never seen him make such a movement before in my life. “Forgive my silence all these years. Much has happened since we last spoke,” he responded.</p>
<p>Rhea let out a soft chuckle and focused her gaze on me. “So I see. The miracle of fatherhood has blessed you. That is your child, is it not?”</p>
<p>Jeralt did not glance at me. His focus was solely on Rhea. “Yes… born many years after I left this place. I wish I could introduce you to the mother of my child… but I’m afraid we lost her to illness.”</p>
<p>It was about as much as I knew. I didn’t even know the year of my birth, but I did know that my father had loved my mother and that he lost her. From then on, my life had been what it was precisely until this morning, traveling with our band of mercenaries, slaughtering across battlefields, and rarely speaking to anyone who was not my father.</p>
<p>Rhea responded quickly, “I see. My condolences.” She then turned her gaze back to me. There was something unsettling about it. “As for you… I heard of your valiant efforts from Alois. What is your name?”</p>
<p>“My name is Byleth,” I said, and then after a second, remembering that I had seen my father bow before her, I awkwardly mirrored the movement.</p>
<p>“A fine name indeed,” Rhea said with a small smile as she watched me rise. “From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for saving those students of the Officers Academy.”</p>
<p>“Hmph,” Jeralt huffed at my side.</p>
<p>Rhea’s attention slid back to him. “Jeralt. You already know what it is I wish to say, do you not?”</p>
<p>He rested a hand on his hip. “You want me to rejoin the Knights of Seiros, don’t you. I won’t say no, but…”</p>
<p>He did not get a chance to finish as Rhea interrupted, “Your apprehension stings. I had expected that Alois would have already asked this of you. I must step away for now, but I expect they will desire a word with you soon. Please listen carefully to what they have to say. Until tomorrow… Farewell.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I waited in the audience chamber for several hours by myself while my father was off discussing matters with I assumed the Knights of Seiros and Alois. I sat against the wall, my head against the cool stone. I must have dozed off at some point, because I jolted awake at the sound of the doors opening. The light trickling through the window suggested afternoon. I thought I heard a girl’s voice for a moment, but when I strained to listen, there was silence.</p>
<p>Jeralt strode through the open doors and I hurried to my feet. He was shaking his head. “I can’t believe it. Forced back into the Knights of Seiros.” I wasn’t sure my father could be forced into anything, but this day had clearly been proof to the contrary. His gaze focused on me. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this. Looks like I’ll be stuck here for a while… and I’m afraid your services are requested as well.”</p>
<p>I blinked. “As a mercenary?” It seemed odd to require a mercenary when they already had a functional army of knights, but there wasn’t exactly any other service I was capable of providing. Unless they wanted pure manual labor, and I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of being a servant.</p>
<p>Jeralt shook his head. “Nothing like that. They want you to teach, by the sound of it,” he said, his tone one of near disbelief. “You heard those brats earlier talking about the Officers Academy, right? Well, the academy just happens to be short a professor. And apparently that damned Alois went and recommended you to Lady Rhea.”</p>
<p>A professor? I didn’t know the first thing about teaching. I was a mercenary, not a professor. And then there was the fact that the students and I appeared to be the same age. Before I could express my shock, two more figures strode into the room.</p>
<p>One was a woman with light brown hair slicked back that fell to her chin. She wore an honestly impressive amount of orange eyeshadow, her lips painted orange to match. A mole graced her features on the left side of her face, just below the corner of her eye. Her outfit was ostentatious. A skin-tight black dress with slits that went from the floor almost to her hips, orange string holding the bodice as tightly as it could. She wore a massive white robe over this, but it was open in the front, leaving very little to the imagination. But I realized that if she were allowed to teach in such an ensemble, then I would likely be allowed to teach in my own preferred wardrobe.</p>
<p>The other was a man, and he at least seemed to be the definition of a dignified professor. He wore a dark tan suit with the coat falling almost to his knees. A lime-green ascot gave his outfit a pop of color. His hair was gray and masterfully coiffed in an elegant style. He had a well-maintained moustache and goatee and a monocle was fixed in the socket of his right eye.</p>
<p>The woman studied my father with a pleased look on her face. “So. You must be the new professor. My, how stern and handsome you are!”</p>
<p>“Er, no. I’m not the one you’re looking for,” My father responded quickly before turning to me. “You can handle things from here. Good luck.”</p>
<p>Jeralt turned to leave, but paused, resting a hand on my shoulder and leaning in to whisper in my ear. “Watch out for Lady Rhea. I don’t know what she’s thinking, making you a professor like this. She may be up to something. Stay on your guard.”</p>
<p><i>Stay on your guard.</i> Words that I’d heard every day from the moment I could speak. Words that had become a mantra to live my life by. And words that reminded me of the unsettling way that Rhea had looked at me.</p>
<p>My father gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and then was out the door.</p>
<p>The woman fixed her gaze on me. “Oh. It’s you, then? So young…”</p>
<p>“Competence and age are not necessarily correlated, as you well know,” The man said sternly before turning to look at me. “I am Hanneman, a Crest scholar and professor at the Officers Academy. I wonder if you bear a Crest of your own. When you next have a moment to spare, I insist that you pay me a visit so we can delve into the subject further.”</p>
<p>Before I could respond, the woman was speaking again, “I’m Manuela. I’m a professor, a physician, a songstress, and available. It’s nice to meet you.”</p>
<p><i>Available,</i> I thought. I’d never so much as touched another person besides my father in a manner that was not aimed at taking their life. I’d heard of romance and the ways that people would touch each other in its pursuit, of course. Growing up traveling with mercenaries, people talked. But nobody had ever looked my way like that after I’d broken that man’s arm--whether for fear of Jeralt’s wrath or fear of me, the Ashen Demon, I did not know.</p>
<p>Realizing that she was waiting for a response, I fumbled for the details she’d given. “A songstress?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Of course,” Manuela responded. “Before I came here, I belonged to a renowned opera company. Perhaps you’ve heard of me? The Mittelfrank Opera Company’s beautiful, peerless-”</p>
<p>She was interrupted by Hanneman before I had to figure out how to tell her that I had never heard of her, although I wasn’t exactly the most cultured individual. “Spare our colleague the needless chatter, Manuela.” Hanneman looked at me again. “Now then, it seems you’ll be taking charge of one of the academy’s three houses. I expect you haven’t been briefed on the nature of each, have you?”</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>“Do you really not know?” Manuela asked, exasperated. “Fine, I’ll do you a favor and explain. The Officers Academy is comprised of three houses of students, each of which is closely affiliated with its region of origin. The Black Eagle House is for students from the Adrestian Empire. Their house leader this year is Edelgard, the Imperial princess, who is in line to be the next emperor.”</p>
<p>Edelgard, with her cool, assessing gaze. And she had been trying to tell me earlier that she was the princess to the Adrestian Empire. I thought back to our earlier interactions, hoping I had not made too much of a fool of myself. I had saved her life, though, so perhaps that would cover any transgressions.</p>
<p>Hanneman continued the explanation where Manuela had left off, “The Blue Lion House is for students from the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Their house leader this year is Prince Dimitri. He is to be the next king of Faerghus.”</p>
<p>The floor beneath my feet suddenly felt shaky. I’d fallen into the ease of combat alongside a prince. He hadn’t seemed quite so princely then. But when I thought of his gentle smile and sincere tone, and the way he had debated what it meant to be a good leader with Edelgard, yes, I could see the prince there. No wonder I’d been struck by him, and how fitting for me to be struck by someone so far from my reach. It made things simpler, though, if I could just ignore whatever strange things I was feeling because they were out of reach.</p>
<p>“Lastly, there is the Golden Deer House, which is for students of the Leicester Alliance. Their house leader is Claude, grandson to Duke Riegan, the leader of the Alliance,” Manuela finished off the explanation.</p>
<p>Of course, every single one of them was royalty of some sort. And I was some uncivilized beast who had actually cleaved a man open in front of Claude. His calculating, scheming eyes suddenly made sense though. A man who understood power and how to wield it. A man who did not debate power, while the other two debated the way their ideals would shape their reign.</p>
<p>Hanneman was speaking again, “To think that the next emperor, king, and sovereign duke are all here. It certainly is a promising year for the academy.”</p>
<p>“I’ll say. I just hope none of those little treasures cause any trouble,” Manuela said with a small, mischievous smile.</p>
<p>And somehow, I was expected to take head of one of these houses and interact with one of those royals closely. I didn’t know what Rhea was thinking either. She’d clearly made a mistake.</p>
<p>“Hm, quite.” Hanneman looked at me again. “For now, I suggest taking a stroll around the academy to get your bearings. And when you’ve a moment, please stop by my research laboratory.” He reached into his coat and pulled out a folder which he handed to me. “This is a roster of the students currently enrolled in the Officers Academy, organized by house. You should make sure to familiarize yourself with them.”</p>
<p>Manuela nodded. “The old man has a point. Oh, and keep in mind that I’ve only notified the house leaders that you’re our new professor. It’s more fun that way. I suggest you try spending time with the students. Some odd ducks in that bunch, but they’re good kids. I’m sure Lady Rhea will have more information for you tomorrow, but that should get you going. Good luck. You’ll need it.”</p>
<p>I’d need more than luck. I’d need a miracle from the goddess herself, if she really existed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Outside of the audience chamber, I ran into Alois and Seteth. They both turned to look at me.</p>
<p>“I imagine you were a bit surprised that I recommended you as a professor here,” Alois greeted me with a chuckle. Frankly, we had someone else in mind for the role, but they ran off during our dustup with the bandits. Can’t entrust students to someone who’s abandoned them once before, huh?”</p>
<p>Seteth studied me with a cool gaze. “You saved the lives of the students you came across. That, at least, was admirable. Now, you should make the rounds. Go around the monastery and see that you greet everyone.”</p>
<p>Alois pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “Here’s a map of the monastery. That should help you to find your way around. Now go be personable!”</p>
<p>I didn’t think he would listen if I tried to explain that being personable was not a skill I possessed. Instead I clutched the map and the folder containing the roster of students in my hand like a lifeline and stumbled down the stairs to the main floor of the monastery. Only staff were up on the second floor it seemed, so going down the stairs seemed like a good first step.</p>
<p>Standing in the reception hall--a long room with small tables clustered on either side of its entire length--I was almost relieved when I caught sight of a familiar face, except that face belonged to Edelgard.</p>
<p>As I neared her, she looked up from the table she was sitting at and gave me that small, unsettling smile. “So you’ve accepted a teaching position here… Pity. I was hoping you would lend your strength to the Empire.” She gestured to an open seat in front of her and I sat.</p>
<p>“I never properly introduced myself, did I? My name is Edelgard von Hresvelg. I am the princess and heir apparent to the Adrestian Empire. I wonder if you’ll be tasked with leading the Black Eagles… I hope you’ll have a chance to meet everyone.”</p>
<p>I glanced down at my folder. “May I ask you about the students in your house?” I asked hesitantly, opening the folder for the first time to peruse the names and files contained within.</p>
<p>“Ask away.”</p>
<p>I would need to thank Hanneman later. The folder was well organized, sectioned off by each house. The Black Eagles House was even the first section. I flipped through to the first profile. There was a picture of a pale-skinned man with a messy mop of black hair that fell over his right eye, leaving only the left green eye exposed. His cheeks were slightly hollow. “What can you tell me about Hubert?”</p>
<p>“Hubert is the heir of Marquis Vestra. He has served me since I was a child. You may think his blood runs a bit cold, but… Heh, actually, that’s rather accurate. Still, if you can get past that, you’ll see he’s quite astute and reasonable.”</p>
<p>I nodded, filing away mental notes as best I could and flipped to the next page. This student had a proud look on his face in his portrait, light brown eyes, and a thick head of well-groomed orange hair. “Ferdinand?”</p>
<p>“For some reason, he thinks of me as a bitter rival and is always trying to challenge me. It’s terribly irritating. His house is that of Duke Aegir, which produces Adrestia’s Prime Ministers. That family is… perhaps too pleased with its own status.”</p>
<p>That certainly explained the proud look on his face, even in a portrait. The next page was a man who looked a mixture of tired and bored. He had blue eyes and judging from the shoulders, a small stature. His dark green hair was grown to his chin where it was neatly combed to either side of his head. “Lindhardt?” I inquired next.</p>
<p>“He’s remarkably intelligent, but he only wishes to apply himself to tasks that particularly interest him and nothing else. He’s also fond of… well, napping. If he had any work ethic or sense of duty to speak of, I suppose he would be destined to become an official of the Empire.”</p>
<p>The next page showed an earnest looking young man. He had passionate blue eyes and short blue hair, styled so that it came together in the middle. “Caspar?”</p>
<p>“He’s the second son of Count Bergliez. He has no inheritance in his future, which is perhaps why he’s always so eager to prove himself. He’s overly energetic and rushes headfirst into any battle. If he ends up in your care, be sure to keep a close eye on him.”</p>
<p>The next page was a small looking girl with gray eyes and a messy head of layered, chin-length purple hair. The artist of the portrait had managed to capture a nervous look in her eyes. “Bernadetta?”</p>
<p>“She’s Count Varley’s only daughter. I suppose you could say she’s a bit eccentric, but she seems like a gentle soul. I believe she’s shut herself away in her quarters and doesn’t care to leave, but… don’t worry. I’ll make sure she finds her way to class.”</p>
<p>I turned to the next page to see a beautiful woman with long, thick brown hair and welcoming green eyes. She wore a small black cap on the top of her head and large earrings through her ear lobes. “Dorothea?”</p>
<p>“Few commoners have joined the Black Eagle House, but Dorothea is an exception. She’s a songstress from a famous opera company in the Empire. I’m not entirely sure what brought her to the Officers Academy.”</p>
<p>The last page in the Black Eagles section was a girl with golden skin and piercing purple eyes with a purple mark like an upside down triangle tattooed below her right eye. She had purple hair gathered up into a ponytail and then thickly braided to fall to her shoulder. “Petra?”</p>
<p>“To the west of Fódlan is an archipelago called Brigid. Petra is the granddaughter of their king. Brigid is a vassal state of the Empire, which is how she came to be enrolled here. She’s incredibly smart and studious.”</p>
<p>Having finished going through the roster, I fixed my gaze on Edelgard, who sat watching me patiently. “And what about you, Edelgard?”</p>
<p>She smiled. “Me? Well… some think I’m a bit distant. Arrogant, even. But there’s little to be done. One day, I must rise to become Adrestia’s next emperor. What else… Well, it seems to me that we may have similar personalities.”</p>
<p>I blinked at the assertion. I wasn’t sure what to say. I supposed that distant was not an inaccurate way to describe me. I’d always been difficult, never knowing what to say or how to behave without a blade in my hand. I wasn’t entirely sure who I was when I was not a weapon. “Thank you for your help,” I said awkwardly and rose from the chair.</p>
<p>“See you around, Professor,” she said, her eyes never leaving mine until I turned and headed out the door.</p>
<p>Outside of the reception hall, there was a large courtyard and across from it the classrooms. On the right end where I stood was the Golden Deer’s classroom, the Blue Lions in the middle, and then the Black Eagles on the left end. Each was adorned with banners on either side of the door and a symbol representing the house--yellow with a large stag for the Golden Deer, blue with a knight astride a silver griffon for the Blue Lions, and red with a proud eagle with wings spread wide for the Black Eagles.</p>
<p>I studied the map that Alois had given me for a moment, trying to get my bearings. To my right was a stone railing overlooking a large ravine. If I continued on the path on which I stood, it would lead me to the training grounds, the sauna and baths, and the dormitories. I looked closer and saw that Alois had circled a room at the edge of the dormitories and written Yours! next to it with a smiley face. To the south of the classrooms was the dining hall.</p>
<p>“Well, well. Scored a teaching gig here, did ya?” I almost jumped out of my skin as Claude’s voice sounded over my shoulder. He chuckled. “Talk about a great first impression. I guess that means I’d better introduce myself properly. I’m Claude von Riegan. I’m from the ruling house of the Leicester Alliance, but don’t worry too much about all that madness. I’m guessing you don’t know which class you’ll be teaching yet, do you? I bet you’d like ours. We’re not as… difficult as the other two.” His gaze settled on the folder clutched under the map in my hands. “Why don’t we sit down and I can tell you about the folks from the Golden Deer House?”</p>
<p>I nodded gratefully and he led me to a bench at the edge of the grass field between the outside of the great hall and the doors to the classrooms. We sat down and I thumbed open my folder again, flipping to the section marked with the Golden Deer’s insignia. “Who’s first?” Claude asked, gesturing towards my lap.</p>
<p>The first page was a rather pretentious looking man with a thin face and sharply angled purple eyes. His purple hair was also cut at sharp angles, and there was a massive red rose fixed to his lapel. “Lorenz?”</p>
<p>“He’s the heir of Gloucester territory. If you haven’t already picked up on it, he’s a bit arrogant and fancies himself a lady’s man. That said, deep down he’s really devoted and honest… Though I wouldn’t mind never hearing him talk about noble obligations ever again.”</p>
<p>I turned the page and was greeted with a portrait of a man whose shoulders were barely contained in the portrait space. The artist had even gone so far as to draw his shirt barely holding together, pulling apart between each button. He had a square face, but kind looking light brown eyes and a smile to match. He had short, messy blonde hair. “Raphael?”</p>
<p>“He comes from a merchant family, but his parents died in an accident. Seems like he’s had a rough life. Despite all that, he’s just about the most cheerful guy you’ll ever meet. His passions are training, eating, and… Actually, that’s about it.”</p>
<p>The next page featured a shy looking young man with short light green hair, curious light brown eyes, and a large pair of round-eyed spectacles. “Ignatz?”</p>
<p>“He’s the second son of a merchant family. Since his brother will inherit the business, he’s training to become a knight. If you ask me, doesn’t seem like he truly wants to be a knight… He’s probably just doing it to please his parents…”</p>
<p>I turned the page again. This student was a small looking girl with pink eyes and long white hair. Albino, I realized. She looked several years younger than the others. “Lysithea?”</p>
<p>“Lysithea is the daughter of Count Ordelia, and is probably the youngest student here. But watch out! She gets angry if you treat her like a child. As for me, I do it on purpose. You have to make your own fun in this place, you know?”</p>
<p>The next page was a sad, withdrawn looking girl with dark brown eyes and pale blue hair neatly braided around her head. Two small pieces on either side had been left out to frame her face, and she had straight bangs across her forehead. “Marianne?"</p>
<p>“Marianne is Margrave Edmund’s daughter… and that’s pretty much all I know about her. She doesn’t interact much with other students, so I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of folks here have never even heard her speak.”</p>
<p>I turned to the next page and was greeted with a portrait of a happy looking girl with large pink eyes and matching pink hair. She had straight bangs across her forehead and then her long pink hair was pulled into pigtails on either side of her head. Even her portrait seemed to exude femininity. I appeared feminine until I stepped foot on the battlefield, and then I was never accused of it again once I became covered in blood. “Hilda?”</p>
<p>“Hilda is the only daughter of Duke Goneril. It seems her father and brother coddle her quite a bit. If you look up ‘lazy’ in the dictionary… her picture won’t be there because she never got around to submitting it. Not too unusual for a noble, I guess.”</p>
<p>I flipped to the last page in the Golden Eagle section. A girl with her hands on her hips stood, her face set with proud brown eyes. She had short orange hair atop her head. “Leonie?”</p>
<p>“Leonie enrolled because she wants to be a mercenary. I think she said that her father is a hunter. She’s pretty blunt and as stingy as they come. A habitual saver, too. I think she’s hoping to repay her village for sending her here.”</p>
<p>I closed the folder and looked up at Claude. Before I could ask, he winked at me. “Piqued your interest, have I? As luck would have it, I’m pretty curious about you as well. But what’s life without a bit of mystery? Let’s just spend the next year or so learning about each other, little by little.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t really argue with that, since I had nothing to share about myself at the moment. I stood from the bench, looking around.</p>
<p>“Dimitri’s over there if you’re making the rounds,” Claude gestured towards a bench at the other end of the field. “Let me know if you need anything, Teach!” He said good-naturedly.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I said before making my way across the field. Dimitri looked up from a book in his lap and snapped it closed as I approached. Then he was on his feet, bowing before me.</p>
<p>“Please accept my apologies for this morning,” he expressed, before rising to his full height again. “You came to our aid, yet I hadn’t even the courtesy to properly introduce myself. I am Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, crown prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Of course, at the academy I am simply a student. And I’ve heard word that you are to become a professor. Delightful news. I still have much to learn, but I’m confident I could benefit greatly from your guidance. In any case, welcome to the monastery.” He gestured at the folder in my hands. “I hear you’re investigating the different houses. May I assist you with anything?”</p>
<p>I looked down at the folder in my hands and then back up at him. He spoke like a prince, but he seemed to be trying hard to make me feel comfortable despite his status. It surprised me that it was actually working. He was wearing a polite smile. “Can you tell me a bit about each of the students in your house?” I asked, starting to flip to the section in the roster for the Blue Lions.</p>
<p>“Of course, it would be my pleasure.” He gestured at the bench he had been sitting on. “Shall we sit?”</p>
<p>I nodded and sat down beside him and kicked up the routine I’d quickly made of flipping through the pages and inquiring about each student. The first page was a dark-skinned man with a sharp chin and wide-set cheekbones. He had a stern look about him. He had green eyes and close cut white hair, although the lower section was grown out into a small ponytail. There was a large golden earring in his left ear of spread wings. “Dedue?”</p>
<p>“Dedue was born in Duscur, and has been loyally working in my service for the past four years. He’s rather taciturn, but once you get to know him, you’ll see he’s a kind and good-natured young man.”</p>
<p>The next page was a young man with sharp looking features. He had light brown eyes and black hair that was pulled into a messy bun. Sections had fallen out from the bun to fall across his forehead and frame his face. “Felix?”</p>
<p>“Felix is the heir to House Fraldarius. He has a bit of a sharp tongue, but don’t let that fool you. Deep down, he’s a good guy. He gravitates towards people who are skilled. Perhaps you would enjoy a friendly competition with him sometime.”</p>
<p>I nodded and turned the page. This page featured a kind, honest looking young man with a smattering of freckles on his cheeks and across his nose below his green eyes. He had a messy head of gray hair. “Ashe?”</p>
<p>“He’s the adoptive son of Lord Lonato of Castle Gaspard, but I hear he was born a commoner. He has an extremely earnest personality, so I’m certain he will approach your lectures with great enthusiasm.”</p>
<p>I flipped to the next page. This one was devoted to a man with a cocky half-smile. He had light brown eyes and messy, fiery red hair. He was handsome, but he did not strike me the way the prince had. “Sylvain?”</p>
<p>“Sylvain is the heir to House Gautier. He is a capable person who highly values his friends. That said… Well, he’s always been a bit of a… ahem, skirt chaser, so to speak. Pardon my bluntness. I speak with him about it often, but it doesn’t seem to help.”</p>
<p>I glanced up at Dimitri to see his cheeks slightly flushed. I quickly looked back down, finding the color in his face distracting. I turned to the next page to see a kind woman with dark gray eyes and a mass of thick, blonde hair pulled over her left shoulder and held together with a black and gold striped ribbon. “Mercedes?”</p>
<p>“I hear she was born to Imperial nobility, but a twist of fate brought her to the Kingdom. She may seem carefree on the surface, but she’s actually a kind soul who pays careful attention to everyone around her.”</p>
<p>The next page was an eager looking young woman with large, blue-gray eyes and orange hair with straight bangs. The rest of her hair was tied into two small circular twists on either side of her neck. “Annette?”</p>
<p>“Annette is Baron Dominic’s niece. She is a talented student who scored extremely high marks at the Royal School of Sorcery in Fhirdiad. She’s cheerful and hardworking. Brilliant, really. Though she can be a bit oblivious at times. I hear she caused an explosion in the kitchen last night…”</p>
<p>I glanced up again to see Dimitri shaking his head, but there was a smile on his face. I flipped to the last page of the section. This page was devoted to a beautiful young woman with striking green eyes and thick, blonde hair. She had straight bangs, a section of hair on either side of her head framing her face, and the rest was pulled back into a thick braid falling down her back. “Ingrid?”</p>
<p>“Ingrid is Count Galatea’s daughter. She is also a childhood friend of Felix, Sylvain, and myself. She is diligent, industrious, and principled. In truth, she is more knightly than most knights you will ever meet.”</p>
<p>I gently shut the folder, having reached the end. Dimitri was still giving me that patient, gentle smile. “And what about you, Dimitri?” I asked.</p>
<p>His expression changed. Something dark flashed in his eyes and then disappeared. His brow furrowed and his smile was replaced with a frown. “Me? Oh. Um. Please forgive me… It’s difficult to open up on the spot, don’t you think? I’m afraid my story has not been a pleasant one… I do hope that doesn’t color your view of me, but I understand if that can’t be helped.”</p>
<p>I didn’t know what to say. While I was silent, he quickly composed himself, but his smile did not return. He rose from the bench. “I do believe that's all of the Blue Lions, so if you’ll excuse me... I do look forward to seeing you around, Professor,” he said distantly and then strode off.</p>
<p>I sat on the bench for a moment, collecting my thoughts. I wondered what could have caused that reaction, but it was clear that his story was not one that he felt like sharing. I realized that I had just seen walls slam down around him, blocking me out. Something I recognized because I had built walls around myself, too. It only made me more curious about what could have instilled such a lesson in him. I hoped that maybe one day, he might share his story with me.</p>
<p>I finally rose from the bench, figuring that I should at least complete my mission of greeting the rest of the students, especially now that I had some basic details on each of them. Lucky for me, it seemed that they were each clustered in their respective classrooms.</p>
<p>I wandered into the Black Eagles classroom first. Hubert and Petra were together talking and saw me first.</p>
<p>Hubert turned to me. “I am Hubert. A humble servant of Lady Edelgard. I heard you came to the aid of Her Highness. You have my most sincere thanks.” He gestured at Petra next to him. “This is Petra. She has come all the way from Brigid to study in the Empire. Back on her archipelago, she is actually a princess. In Fódlan terms, she would be called heir to the throne.”</p>
<p>Petra bowed her head to me. “Hello. I am called Petra. I am pleased to be meeting with--No, I am pleased to have met you.”</p>
<p>"I am Byleth Eisner. It is nice to meet you both." I nodded to both of them before moving on to the next pair chatting in the classroom.</p>
<p>Caspar and Lindhardt looked over as I approached.</p>
<p>Caspar excitedly pumped his fists in the air. "Is it true that you saved Edelgard? That's incredible! The name's Caspar, by the way. Pleased to meet ya!"</p>
<p>Lindhardt seemed to stifle a yawn. "Lindhardt. Goodbye."</p>
<p>Caspar cringed next to him. "Yeesh, Lindhardt. How'd you get into the academy with those manners?" He turned back to me. "So, are you a student here too? Maybe we'll be in the same class!"</p>
<p>"Perhaps," I said, recalling how Manuela had said only the house leaders were currently aware of my new position. I saw no reason to change that just yet. "I'm Byleth Eisner. Nice to meet you both." I bid them a nod before I continued on to the last pair in the room.</p>
<p>Bernadetta and Ferdinand didn't just stop talking when I approached. Bernadetta actually jumped, let out a cry, and then hid behind Ferdinand. "Ah! What?! I don't talk to strangers!" she squealed.</p>
<p>Ferdinand looked at the girl cowering behind him. "Bernadetta, this is no stranger! Our house leader owes this person a great debt. Is that not right?" His gaze turned to me. "I am Ferdinand von Aegir, legitimate son of the Aegir family, the Empire's foremost house. Are you going to join our house? I look forward to getting better acquainted with you."</p>
<p>"The pleasure is mine," I said as I introduced myself. I heard Bernadetta let out a sigh of relief as I walked away.</p>
<p>The last person in the room was Dorothea, standing on her own by the window. She turned to me with a smile. "Well now, you don't have a familiar face. What brings you here? Oh, my name is Dorothea. Before I joined the academy, I was a member of an opera company in the Empire. You should hear me sing sometime."</p>
<p>"I'd like that," I said politely and gave her my name. With that, I retreated from the Black Eagles classroom and moved onto the blue bannered classroom of the Blue Lions. Dimitri was nowhere to be seen.</p>
<p>Before I could even get all the way into the classroom, the handsome Sylvain was there, greeting me with a wink. "Well, well! It must be my lucky day today, being approached by such a beauty. I'm Sylvain Jose Gautier. Feel free to say hi whenever you like."</p>
<p>I was not so cold that I did not enjoy compliments. Part of me longed to be beautiful, despite the demon lurking hungrily within my flesh. But I recalled Dimitri's warning about Sylvain being a skirt chaser, and somehow the compliment did not feel genuine. I introduced myself politely and moved on to where Mercedes and Annette were chatting.</p>
<p>Mercedes looked at me with a smile as I approached. "And who's this? You don't look familiar. Do you work here at the monastery?"</p>
<p>Annette shook her head. "Oh, Mercie! Do you think this is that mercenary people have been talking about?"</p>
<p>Mercedes placed her hand on her chin thoughtfully. "Now that I think about it, that does sound like something Dimitri may have said… I suppose you'll be enrolling at the Officers Academy too, then? Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Mercedes, and this is my best friend--"</p>
<p>"I'm Annette! It's nice to meet you!"</p>
<p>They were certainly bubbly. I did not bother to correct them that I was actually to be a professor and instead introduced myself quickly and then moved on to where Ingrid and Felix were conversing.</p>
<p>Ingrid turned to me and bowed. "I have heard all about what you did from Prince Dimitri. As a citizen of Faerghus, I thank you."</p>
<p>Felix looked at me with a smirk. "He also said you're quite skilled. And he doesn't just say things like that. I look forward to sparring with you and beating you."</p>
<p>A small part of me stirred at the idea that the prince had been impressed by me.</p>
<p>Ingrid looked at Felix, her expression aghast. "Felix, must you always speak of fighting right away? Oh! And, uh… you may call me Ingrid. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."</p>
<p>"It is nice to meet you both. I am Byleth Eisner," I turned my gaze to Felix. "And I look forward to crossing blades with you."</p>
<p>The only time I really knew who I was and felt alive was when my hand was wrapped around the hilt of my sword. How could I turn down such an enthusiastic opponent? His eyes lit up at my words. But I left them with a nod and moved through the classroom to where Ashe and Dedue were sitting together talking quietly.</p>
<p>Ashe looked up at me brightly. "Hi there! You must be the one everyone's talking about. I'm Ashe. Great to meet you. This here is Dedue. He serves Prince Dimitri."</p>
<p>Dedue bowed his head to me. "I have heard that you rescued His Highness. Words cannot express my gratitude. Should you ever require my strength, please know that I will hasten to repay this debt."</p>
<p>"There is nothing to repay. I am Byleth Eisner, and it is a pleasure to meet you both."</p>
<p>And then I departed with a curt nod, making my way to the Golden Deer classroom.</p>
<p>Raphael and Leonie were talking together near the doorway.</p>
<p>Raphael studied me for a moment. "Are you someone's guest? The dining hall's that way if that's what you're looking for."</p>
<p>Leonie shook her head. "No, Raphael. That's Captain Jeralt's kid." She fixed me with an intense stare. "Hi, I'm Leonie Pinelli--Captain Jeralt's first and greatest apprentice! I'm sure he's told you about me?"</p>
<p>Raphael interrupted her, and I was grateful since my father had certainly never mentioned her before. "Nice to meet you! I'm Raphael Kirsten. Who are you again?"</p>
<p>I introduced myself and moved on before Leonie could start to pry too much about Jeralt. Hilda was chatting animatedly with Marianne.</p>
<p>"Hey, are you that mercenary? Everyone's been talking about you. I'm Hilda Valentine Goneril. And her name is…" Hilda gestured next to her.</p>
<p>"M-Marianne von Edmund…"</p>
<p>Hilda studied me again. "Are you joining the Knights of Seiros or something? Well, I look forward to seeing more of you!"</p>
<p>I introduced myself and bid them farewell before moving on to where Lysithea and Ignatz were conversing.</p>
<p>Lysithea surveyed me impatiently. "So, you're the skilled mercenary who saved Claude, are you?"</p>
<p>Ignatz brightened. "Oh, you are? It's such an honor to meet you! Ignatz Victor. My parents are Alliance merchants."</p>
<p>"And I am Lysithea von Ordelia. Please do not forget it." She raised her chin, and I was struck by how someone so small and young could command such a presence. No wonder Claude liked to tease her.</p>
<p>I introduced myself and then wandered to where Lorenz was lounging by himself.</p>
<p>He offered me what he must have thought was a dazzling smile. "Ah. You must be that renowned mercenary. Perhaps you'd like to join me for a cup of tea sometime. My name is Lorenz Hellman Gloucester. You will want to remember it."</p>
<p>I made my last introduction and then slipped out of the classroom. I was relieved to be done with all of the greetings. They really did seem like good kids, as Manuela had put it--it felt strange to refer to them as such when they were about the same age as me, although Jeralt had never informed me of the exact year of my birth.</p>
<p>I began to make my way towards the dormitories where Alois had marked my room to be on the map. I was passing by the entrance to the training grounds when I got the distinct feeling that I was being watched. I turned towards the doors to see a man with light blonde hair held back in a ponytail staring at me through a white mask that covered his eyes and forehead with red outlines around the eye holes.</p>
<p>"I am Jeritza. I teach here. Weapon instruction. These are the training grounds. Goodbye," he said, and then disappeared into the training grounds themselves. I blinked, unnerved, and then hurried to my room.</p>
<p>It certainly seemed like a students room. There was a bed large enough for a single person against the left wall. A desk and a dresser against the right wall. Windows above a shelf lined the far wall. When I checked the dresser, I found that my things had already been moved in.</p>
<p>On the desk there was a handwritten note.</p>
<p>
  <i>These are the students’ quarters. To better help you supervise them, you also have a room here. Commoner students also reside on the first floor, while the second floor is primarily for students of noble birth. As a rule, we try to avoid discrimination based on social status here. But the nobility can be quite insistent when it comes to matters of propriety. Speaking of, it would be best for you to avoid improper conduct. I expect you to set a good example for the students.<br/>
- Seteth</i>
</p>
<p>I wondered if Seteth and I had the same idea of what qualified as improper conduct or if everything I did would be considered improper by him. Suddenly, I felt the weight of the day crashing into me. I closed the door behind me, setting the roster of students and my map onto the desk and then I collapsed onto the bed still dressed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning, I sat in the dining hall--a huge room with rows upon rows of massive tables--flipping through a book on battle tactics. This, at least, was familiar. The kind of thing that I had been drilled on by Jeralt from the moment I could read. A bell sounded off and I marked my place in the book and rose. I was supposed to meet with Lady Rhea after the morning bell.</p>
<p>Students were milling about together as I passed, but as official class instruction had not began yet, they were free to spend the morning as they wished. Later in the morning, I would be making my way to one of the classrooms to greet the house I would be placed in charge of. Currently, however, I was on a mission, as I made my way to Rhea’s audience chamber, likely to learn just which house I would be teaching.</p>
<p>I ran into an old man with a slightly hunched back and a thin head of light brown hair on my way to the second floor. He’d introduced himself quickly as Tomas, the librarian, and bid me welcome to peruse the materials in the library.</p>
<p>When I pushed open the doors to the audience chamber, I saw Rhea waiting for me. She gave me a small smile. As I made my way in, Seteth stalked out from an office to the left, flanked by Hanneman and Manuela.</p>
<p>“How are you enjoying your time at the academy thus far?” Rhea asked, but kept speaking before I could respond. “I hope you have found our halls brimming with the vitality of well-intentioned souls.”</p>
<p>Seteth folded his arms across his chest. “Hm. I suppose it is time for you to take charge of one of our three houses of students. I must note that I am personally against entrusting someone as lacking in tangible history as yourself with such a task, but it is as the archbishop desires.”</p>
<p>I almost wanted to beg Seteth to push harder for me to not become a professor. After meeting with the students, I was feeling even more unprepared than before.</p>
<p>“The Black Eagles, the Blue Lions, and the Golden Deer… All so different,” Manuela mused. “I hope you’ve made it a point to get to know each of them.”</p>
<p>Hanneman gestured towards me. “Since you are new here, we have decided to allow you first pick. Manuela and I will take charge of the remaining two houses.”</p>
<p>I hadn’t realized I would have a choice. But even given the option, there wasn’t really a choice, just an answer. I kept seeing Dimitri’s easy smile, and how it didn’t fit with the shadows that had flickered in his eyes when he warned me that his story had not been a pleasant one and the way he’d immediately thrown up his guard. I kept feeling the way his back had felt pressed against mine as we squared off against the bandits in the woods. Every thought seemed to lead back to him and I didn’t know how to make sense of it.</p>
<p>“The Blue Lions,” I finally said.</p>
<p>Rhea nodded. “So, you have chosen the Blue Lions, led by Dimitri. Correct?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” I said, feeling more sure of that choice than I did about anything else going on in my suddenly upended life.</p>
<p>“Your heart has made its choice, then,” Rhea spoke regally. I tried not to shift uncomfortably. “All I ask is that you guide these open minds with virtue, care, and sincerity.”</p>
<p>Seteth’s crossed arms finally dropped to his sides. “They are all promising youths who bear the weight of Fódlan’s future upon their shoulders. I hope you appreciate what an honor it is to lead them.”</p>
<p>We were interrupted before I could respond--an interruption I was grateful for.</p>
<p>“Brother?” A small girl with bright mint green hair that sat in two large piles of curls on either side of her shoulders approached. Her eyes were the same mint green as Rhea’s. She wore a black dress with gold accents, long sleeves with large gold ribbons at each elbow, and navy stockings with knee-high black boots. She stood a full head shorter than me, which was a testament to how absolutely tiny she was, since I was not an imposing figure, although the heels were giving me several inches of help at the moment.</p>
<p>“Oh! I am so sincerely sorry! I did not mean to interrupt,” the girl stammered as she took in the gathering.</p>
<p>“I am in the middle of something, Flayn. Is it urgent?” Seteth responded, his voice kinder than I’d ever heard it.</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s nothing.” She flicked her gaze to me. “More importantly… Who is this?”</p>
<p>“This is our newest professor at the academy,” Seteth responded.</p>
<p>“Oh my!” Flayn exclaimed excitedly. “A new addition to the Officers Academy! I am so very pleased to meet you, Professor. I am Seteth’s little sister, Flayn. I am so happy to make your acquaintance.”</p>
<p>If Seteth was one of the most unimpressed, distrusting people I’d happened upon yet, then Flayn was his opposite. Excitable and bright in every mannerism she had, it seemed. I gave Flayn a small nod.</p>
<p>“Let us focus on the topic at hand,” Seteth drew my attention back to him. “There is something you should be aware of. In a few days’ time, there will be a mock battle between the three houses, intended to gauge the current progress of the students. We will be using the battle as an opportunity to ascertain your own abilities as well. Please do not disappoint the archbishop. That is all.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The Blue Lions were waiting for me in the classroom. Horror and shock crossed Annette features when she saw me enter the room. "Wait! Does this mean our new professor is... No! I really can't believe it! But I was speaking to you so casually, as though we were companions! Oh, I am so sorry, Professor! You just look the same age as the rest of us, and... Oh, and I'm sorry I just said that too! I really must watch my tongue…"</p>
<p>I blinked and held up a hand before she could work herself into more of a frenzy. "I don't mind if you treat me as a friend." I realized that I would relish it, actually. While the day before had been exhausting, it was also the first time I'd really interacted with so many people. It was exciting, if I really had to admit it. I was someone who never dropped their guard, a lesson instilled in me from birth, and yet the idea of dropping those walls and letting someone in, even just a bit, was tempting--dangerous, and in violation of the mantra of remaining on guard, but tempting nonetheless.</p>
<p>Annette shook her head, looking nervous. "You say that, but… I just don't know about all of this!"</p>
<p>Dimitri watched me closely. He rubbed his chin with his hand thoughtfully. "I'll admit, it doesn't sit well with me either. After all, we wish to show you due respect."</p>
<p>Sylvain threw his hands up. "Sure, but if the professor says it's okay, shouldn't that be enough? That is... if Your Highness can consent to such a thing. After all, we're already speaking this way to our future king, so we may as well relax our speech with our professor, too, right?"</p>
<p>Dimitri dropped his hand to his side and shook his head. "Well, we're not in the Kingdom, so it only goes to follow that we should all speak companionably..." He let loose a sigh. "I concede. If the professor says it's fine, we ought to accept that kindness gratefully."</p>
<p>Ingrid shook her head. "As for me, I'm not sure I can manage..."</p>
<p>Mercedes smiled gently. "You don't have to force yourself if it's too difficult. You're fine with that too, right, Professor?"</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>Sylvain placed a hand over his chest dramatically and batted his eyelashes at me. "Such benevolence is a sight to behold! I don't suppose you would care to join me for tea? We could discuss education… and marriage."</p>
<p>Felix shook his head exasperatedly. "Control yourself, Sylvain. I have important matters to discuss with our new professor." He fixed me with his smirk. "Having heard of your skills, I'm eager to meet you in battle. Come to the training ground later. There, you will show me what you're capable of."</p>
<p>Dimitri looked at Felix with a small smile. There was no sign of the unhappiness he'd let slip yesterday. "You aren't wasting any time, are you, Felix? As it were, count me in for any such battle."</p>
<p>Felix gave an unsatisfied grunt in response to the prince.</p>
<p>Ashe looked around hesitantly. "Pardon me, but I would also love to observe you in battle, for future reference. If that's okay with you..."</p>
<p>Dimitri looked at Ashe. "Ashe, I won't have you speak of merely watching. You should join us as well."</p>
<p>Mercedes loosed a giggle. "If you get injured, simply say the word and I'll patch you up straight away!"</p>
<p>"Your Highness. Do take care not to go overboard," cautioned Dedue.</p>
<p>Dimitri waved him off. "You worry too much, Dedue. I'll be fine. I promise."</p>
<p>Sylvain glanced around at everyone. "My companions! Is there not something inherently wrong with crossing blades as a way to bond with each other?"</p>
<p>I couldn’t think of a better way to bond, a better way to find out who someone really was.</p>
<p>Ingrid gave Sylvain a small smile. "Huh, I never thought of it that way. Well, if that's how you feel, I suppose you'll just stay behind while the rest of us are at the training ground?"</p>
<p>"Ingrid, my dearest friend! You really are too hard on me," Sylvain cried dramatically.</p>
<p>Dimitri turned to me then and graced me with a full smile that lit up his features. "Well then, Professor, what do you think? As you can see, the Blue Lion House is a lively bunch, but you'll find none who work harder. I'm certain we'll cause our fair share of trouble, but I'm very much looking forward to the year ahead."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Somehow, after the initial sparring session with the class I'd ended up in Hanneman's office. He had sounded so serious about wanting me to come that I felt guilty leaving him hanging.</p>
<p>“Say, while you’re here… I’d like to use this device I designed to determine whether the power of a Crest resides within you. Won’t hurt a bit. Promise,” he said, gesturing towards a device in the middle of the floor.</p>
<p>“What is a Crest?” I asked, looking at him skeptically.</p>
<p>Shock flashed across his face. “You don’t know about Crests? Well, allow me to tell you everything--absolutely everything--about them. Is your calendar clear? This will take a while.”</p>
<p>I didn’t think he was joking.</p>
<p>“Crests are a fascinating topic, but before one can dive deeply into said topic, one must first understand what Crests are. They are power incarnate. They are said to have been bestowed upon humans by the goddess countless ages ago. They exist within the flesh, and are passed down through bloodlines. Those who carry Crests may excel at magic, display exceptional strength, or any number of boons. Each Crest has its own power, the nature of which is beyond mortal understanding. For now.”</p>
<p>“And you believe I have a Crest?” I asked. I’d certainly never shown any superhuman abilities, unless a body count was considered one. And Jeralt had never said a word about Crests, considering I was just learning about them now. Although I did recall the roster I’d been giving showing Crests for some of the students--I had stupidly assumed that it was some design for their noble houses.</p>
<p>Hanneman nodded. “I suspect as much, yes. But we won’t know for sure unless I look into the matter. As I said, Crests are passed down through the blood. However, just because someone carries a Crest does not necessarily mean their descendants will inherit it as well. Only a scarce few descendants of a Crest’s bloodline end up inheriting that Crest’s power. Perhaps one of your ancestors bore a Crest, and you just happened to inherit it. That is how a Crest usually presents itself, after all.”</p>
<p>I had to admit that I was a little curious. “Do what you can to find out,” I consented finally.</p>
<p>Hanneman looked delighted. “Yes, of course. I’ll get to the bottom of it straight away. Now then, please go ahead and hold out your arm over this device here.”</p>
<p>I obeyed, holding my hand out over the screen built into the floor of the office. Nothing happened for a moment, and then the image of my arm reflected in the device vanished to be replaced by a massive image of criss crossing, rounded lines. It was too large to be contained in the screen, the lines seeming to bleed off the edge.</p>
<p>“What is this?! A pattern I’ve never seen before… Is it possible an as-yet undiscovered Crest has been detected? To think there are still Crests out there that even I am unaware of! How thrilling!” He coughed and collected himself, as if remembering that I was standing there. “Pardon my unrestrained jubilation. I have much to consider. You may leave now. I have more research to do in regard to this Crest. Yes, so very much more research. But for now, your work here is done.”</p>
<p>He turned away from me then, and began talking to himself. “Hmm… What could this line here be indicating? Perhaps it represents a lack of symmetry… or perhaps… What in the world? Oh, I see… It may be connected to that, but to a greater degree than usual...” He suddenly whirled back around. “Would you mind providing a sample of your flesh? A couple square inches would do.”</p>
<p>I stared blankly at him.</p>
<p>“No? Perhaps some blood? A couple of drops on the device are all I need.”</p>
<p>I relented, pulling my dagger from my belt and making a quick slice across my upper arm. I let several drops fall onto the device and then departed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“The church has changed a lot since my time. Seteth, Hanneman, Manuela, Jeritza, and many of the knights… None of them were around twenty years ago,” my father mused over a quiet breakfast with me in his office. “I hear you got put in charge of the Blue Lion House.”</p>
<p>I swallowed the large mouthful of sausage I’d been chewing before responding, “I chose them, actually.”</p>
<p>His eyebrows rose and his expression changed to something thoughtful. “Interesting… Why is that?”</p>
<p>I was quiet for a long time. Anyone else would’ve assumed I was not in the mood for conversation and ended the interaction. But not my father. He understood me. He understood that my silence was not out of displeasure but to give myself time to think over my response. So many of our interactions had been this way from the time I was a child--at least once I’d finally started speaking--with my father patiently waiting for the answer he knew would eventually come.</p>
<p>As I contemplated my answer though, I found that I did not wish to discuss the prince with him. I gently rubbed the bruise on my wrist from our first sparring session. “They seem like fighters,” I finally said. All of them were, and they had all shown a great deal of potential. But there was only one that I couldn’t take my eyes off of. Only one that I couldn’t seem to shake from my thoughts.</p>
<p>My father let out a light chuckle, even as he watched me closely. If anyone could tell when I was feeling more than I was saying, it was him. “That certainly sounds like the Kingdom. I should’ve known you’d be drawn to them.</p>
<p>“Why is that?” I countered with the same question he’d asked me.</p>
<p>“You’re a fighter, too. You always have been,” he said quickly.</p>
<p>Too quickly. I opened my mouth to press him, until he moved to spear a piece of sausage on my plate with his fork. I brought my own fork down sharply, parrying him. I then quickly speared the piece he’d been aiming for and shoved it in my mouth.</p>
<p>Jeralt laughed loudly. “You’ve always been touchy about food, haven’t you?” He rose and clapped me on the shoulder. “I’ve got work to do, but good luck, kid.”</p>
<p>He left me alone in his office and as I finished the food on my plate and then the remnants of my father’s meal, I realized that he’d successfully distracted me from prying. Just as he always did when topics he didn’t want to discuss came up such as his age or my age or my mother or why he’d always refused to allow any healers or doctors to see to me, always insisting on doing any patching up himself.</p>
<p>Refusing Mercedes offer for my wrist had been a reflex. Even if I had to admit that my wrist did hurt now--I hadn’t expected the blow I had blocked to have anywhere near the force it did. I wasn’t sure any strike I’d blocked in my life had that much force behind it, actually.</p>
<p>I glanced at the clock in the room and surged to my feet, leaving the dishes at the desk and rushing down to the courtyard that housed the classrooms. It would not do to be late on the day of my first lecture.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The day of the mock battle arrived quickly. Dimitri was waiting for me in the training grounds in the morning. He flashed me a determined smile when I entered. “Ah, it’s finally time for the mock battle. I’m eager to put my skills to use. And you, Professor?”</p>
<p>“I’m looking forward to it,” I responded.</p>
<p>“Excellent. I have high expectations for your command. That said, I’ve no doubt it will take everything we’ve got to pull off a victory. Our opponents are mighty, that much is certain. But I’m positive we can win.”</p>
<p>The doors opened and Claude and Edelgard entered.</p>
<p>“Hey there!” Claude said with an easy smile. “Did we miss our invite to this strategy meeting? Oh, no worries--we’ll just join in now.”</p>
<p>Dimitri gave him a wary glance. “Nice try, Claude, but I do not intend to let slip our strategies. Especially when we are up against such strong opponents as you two.”</p>
<p>“Well now! Kind words from his kingliness. If that’s the case, we’d better come up with some clever schemes so as not to disappoint. Right, Princess?” Claude said, turning to Edelgard.</p>
<p>“Right. No matter the tactics you devise, we will destroy you. The best you can hope for is to learn a thing or two,” Edelgard responded arrogantly.</p>
<p>Dimitri chuckled, but there was something about the sound that was guarded. I thought of the mantra my father had instilled in me: Stay on your guard. “There’s nothing wrong with a friendly rivalry, but let’s not get carried away. A rash attitude could be your undoing, after all.”</p>
<p>Edelgard lifted her chin. “Hmm… Perhaps your time would be better spent preparing instead of worrying about the competition’s mindset.”</p>
<p>Claude glanced between Edelgard and Dimitri and grinned. “Hey, now! If you two are getting this fired up before the battle even starts… it’ll make it that much easier for my class to sweep up a win. So please, carry on.”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “A good point, Claude. I apologize--that wasn’t my intention. At any rate, let’s vow to make this a productive battle, shall we?”</p>
<p>“I don’t intend to lose,” I said evenly.</p>
<p>Edelgard studied me. “Oh? In that case, I won’t hold back.”</p>
<p>Manuela and Hanneman arrived then. They had taken up control of the Black Eagles and Golden Deer respectively.</p>
<p>“Aw, how precious,” Manuela cooed. “Looks like you and the students have become fast friends.”</p>
<p>“While I am pleased that you are taking the initiative to acquaint yourself with the students, I’m afraid it’s about time for the faculty strategy meeting,” Hanneman said with a nod towards the house leaders, clearly dismissing them.</p>
<p>Claude gave a nod of his own. “Ah, how time flies! In that case, I’ll see you later.”</p>
<p>Edelgard simply leveled her unsettling stare at me. “I look forward to assessing your abilities. I hope you don’t disappoint.”</p>
<p>“I’ll see you on the field, Professor,” Dimitri said to me before turning to depart with the other two.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri and the rest of the Blue Lions were waiting for me on a large practice field within the grounds of the monastery. It wasn’t terrible ground--there was no high ground, but there were trees to take advantage of. We were grouped at the south of the field, while Hanneman and the Golden Deer had taken the north-west and Manuela and the Black Eagles had taken the north-east. We were all equipped with wooden practice weapons, but I was sure that everyone would be walking off the field with bruises.</p>
<p>Dimitri bowed to me as I approached. He held a wooden lance. “It is about time for the battle to begin. Our victory depends on your leadership. Do not let us down.”</p>
<p>I did not intend to. I surveyed the students before me. “Pair up and fight just like we practiced,” I instructed. Hopefully the few days that we’d been given had been enough. “Felix, you’re with Annette.” The sharp-tongued man was wielding a sword, while Annette was equipped with an axe, but I knew she was also a skilled mage. “Sylvain, go with Ingrid.” The two both wielded lances, giving them a long reach. “Ashe, you and Mercedes will hold up the rear.” Both held bows in their hands, while Mercedes could also heal wounds as long as her magic wasn’t depleted. “Dimitri, have Dedue watch your back.” Dedue held an axe, and his sturdy figure had proven in our training to be capable of taking several blows without even losing ground. “Sylvain and Ingrid, and Dimitri and Dedue--advance forward just to the edge of where our enemies can see you. Everyone else in the trees. We’re going to draw them out.”</p>
<p>As we got into position, Jeralt’s voice rang out across the field. “I’m sure you already understand, but the house that defeats the other two is declared the winner. Incidentally, I’ll be overseeing this mock battle. Begin!”</p>
<p>Edelgard appeared to be mimicking our own strategy, but when Dorothea emerged onto our field of view, she saw Dimitri and Dedue and smirked. Fire crackled at her fingers, but as she readied to loose it, Annette emerged from the tree line with wind magic already shooting from the palms of her hands. It caught Dorothea in the chest and she was knocked off her feet. “My, my… The new professor seems very capable,” she called, throwing her hands up in surrender.</p>
<p>Lorenz and Ignatz were approaching from the west now. Sylvain and Ingrid moved forward to meet them. As Sylvain and Ingrid knocked Lorenz off his feet, arrows shot from the treeline where Ashe was hiding with Mercedes. They hit Ignatz in the chest--hard enough to bruise, but since they were blunted practice arrows, he was still alive.</p>
<p>“I’ve lost?! Oh! Unthinkable!” Lorenz cried out as the point of Ingrid’s practice lance touched his neck.</p>
<p>“I’ve lost. The new professor is quite a commander,” Ignatz admitted, rubbing his chest.</p>
<p>“Circle back up!” I commanded, recalling my troops quickly. Determination and pride was burning in each of their gazes. It was a good start to the battle, but anything could still change. I surveyed the field again as I considered the two house leaders. “Edelgard won’t leave her position. Trying to bait us didn’t work, so she’ll commit to a defensive position.” I settled my gaze on the copse of trees to the north-west. “Claude has likely set up an ambush in those trees for when we walk by. We’ll move as one, sticking to the trees on our side and swinging wide to come up behind him. I’ll take out Hanneman.”</p>
<p>And then we were off. Sneaking through the trees, staying out of view of where I was certain Claude had grouped up for his ambush. We approached from the west, Dimitri and Dedue reaching Claude and Hilda in the trees first. Just as I’d planned, they were not expecting us from that direction.</p>
<p>Hilda’s axe met Dedue’s and then she went sprawling on the ground as she was overpowered. “Ouch! Was that really necessary?” she cried out with a frown.</p>
<p>Claude, holding a bow and not prepared for a frontal assault, winked at Dimitri as he approached. “Psst, Your Princeliness. You’ve got a thing for Edelgard, right? Come on, fess up. You’ll feel better.”</p>
<p>For some reason, the words had me tightening my grip on the hilt of my blade. The words made me unhappy. <i>The battlefield is no place for idle thoughts,</i> I reminded myself. Although it had never been something I’d struggled with before. On the battlefield, there was supposed to be only me and my blade.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “Claude, please. This is no time for idle banter. Your defenses are wide open.” He swung his lance down so the point was leveled at Claude’s chest.</p>
<p>Claude threw his hands up in the air and started stalking off towards where Hilda was still sitting. “That didn’t get to him, huh? What a shame. I’ll find a better way to ruffle him up next time,” he said to the pink-haired girl.</p>
<p>As the rest of the Blue Lions emerged from the trees he shook his head. “I must have let my guard down. I guess that’s a loss for the Golden Deer House.”</p>
<p>Not quite yet, as Hanneman still remained, standing back from the trees. But I was already rushing towards him. Magic crackled at his fingers and he did not hesitate to send a ball of fire shooting my way, but I jumped to the side. “Too slow!” I yelled, and then I was on him, knocking him flat with the hilt of my practice sword.</p>
<p>“My goodness. The leadership of someone with actual battle experience is… Well! I was as good as useless,” he admitted, nursing his backside where he’d landed.</p>
<p>The Blue Lions had followed me out of the trees and watched me level the professor of the Golden Deer House. “Pair back up and advance! We’ve got the advantage of numbers,” I commanded.</p>
<p>Edelgard looked at me as we approached. “Flawless tactics, Professor. Our only choice in this situation is a head-on attack!”</p>
<p>Felix and Annette met Ferdinand while Sylvain and Ingrid engaged Hubert. Dimitri advanced on Edelgard, but Dedue hung back a few steps. I moved towards Manuela while Ashe and Mercedes stood with their bows drawn.</p>
<p>Ferdinand went down first, the point of Felix’s practice sword pressed to his neck. “I am the son of House Aegir! How did I fail? I must need to train harder…” he lamented.</p>
<p>Sylvain and Ingrid had Hubert falling a second later. “Hmm. The new professor’s rather strong. Suppose I’ll have to call it a day,” Hubert admitted, dusting himself off as he rose.</p>
<p>Edelgard, however, was smiling at her foe. “Dimitri… It’s time! We can finally settle the question of who’s stronger.”</p>
<p>I watched Dimitri’s grip tighten on his lance. “Very well. I accept your challenge. With you as my opponent, I won’t hold anything back.”</p>
<p>“I would expect no less!” Edelgard called out as she swung her axe towards him.</p>
<p>Dimitri held his lance sideways and caught the blow. He pushed forward, forcing Edelgard back. He gave another push and staggered a step back, and then his lance was following, the sharp end pressed against Edelgard’s neck.</p>
<p>Edelgard grit her teeth. “To think that the Black Eagles could lose so readily…” she bit out.</p>
<p>Manuela’s attention was on Edelgard, and she did not see me flying in from her left. By the time she did, my wooden blade was ready to slam into her side. She let out a squeal and held her hands up in surrender.</p>
<p>I stopped just short of hitting her.</p>
<p>“Well done. I nearly wound up a patient in my own infirmary,” she admitted, eyeing me carefully.</p>
<p>Jeralt’s voice was booming out across the field again. I’d actually forgotten he was there. “All right, that’s that! The winner of this mock battle is… The Blue Lion House!”</p>
<p>Dimitri had turned away from Edelgard, walking towards where our house was gathering on the field. “This victory is a result of everyone’s hard work. Thank you, my friends. You did well.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was afternoon by the time we’d finished the battle and gotten back to the monastery and cleaned up. I was standing in the reception hall by myself when I heard Dimitri’s voice. “Professor! I’ve been looking for you.”</p>
<p>I turned to see him and the rest of the class approaching. “I was hoping we could all share a meal together. It could serve as a victory celebration and a post-battle analysis. What do you think?” he asked, his voice hopeful.</p>
<p>I blinked, not sure if I was hearing him correctly. “I’m invited?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Of course. Why wouldn’t you be?” he responded, as if the idea of me not attending was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard.</p>
<p>Sylvain winked at me. “Come now, Professor! We can’t very well celebrate without the key to our victory present.”</p>
<p>Annette grinned. “He’s right! He really is! We were only able to win because we had your help, Professor!”</p>
<p>Felix nodded approvingly and shot a look at Dimitri. “Yes. Compared with that boar who knows nothing save frontal attacks, your tactics were nearly decent.”</p>
<p>“Felix! You really ought to stop picking fights with His Highness,” chided Ingrid.</p>
<p>Dimitri graciously shook his head. “Don’t worry, Ingrid. I encourage all to speak freely. And I must agree that the professor’s tactics were truly extraordinary. I have much to learn.”</p>
<p>Mercedes chimed in next, seeming to be trying to play peacekeeper. “Oh, sure, but today was exhausting. I’m so hungry I can barely stand…”</p>
<p>Ashe smiled and nodded. “To be honest, so am I. Let’s head to the dining hall. Together.”</p>
<p>That seemed to be signal enough to the students, for they all headed out the door. Dimitri, however, remained. His expression was suddenly serious. “Professor. I’m sorry to intrude, but… you don’t look too happy for someone who just won.”</p>
<p>“You’re mistaken,” I said, dipping my chin.</p>
<p>“You say that, but your eyes tell a different story,” he said, shaking his head. He paused for a moment before continuing. “I know we only just met, so this may be difficult for you, but… I’d love nothing more than to share our happiness with you. Joy can be so fleeting, after all. We’re all in this together… so I hope you will consent. I’m sure the rest of the class feels the very same. Well… come along, Professor. Let’s enjoy the fruits of our labor!”</p>
<p>I didn’t have words to explain the warming I felt inside my chest. So I didn’t. I merely nodded and followed Dimitri to the dining hall where the rest of our house waited. I ate and drank while they bantered around me into the night. But I frequently found Dimitri’s piercing gaze fixed on me.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I’d been summoned to Rhea’s audience chamber the next morning to report on the mock battle. Seteth stood at her side.</p>
<p>“Your work with the students was remarkable. I can see Jeralt trained you well,” she praised me. “I do hope you were able to use the occasion to bond with the students.”</p>
<p>I thought of the invitation I’d received to celebrate the victory with them, and Dimitri’s request to share in their joy. “I did,” I said, still somewhat in disbelief. The mercenaries in my father’s band had frequently celebrated after jobs, but I never joined in.</p>
<p>“I am so happy to hear it. Nothing would please me more than if you used this coming year to grow closer still,” Rhea responded.</p>
<p>Seteth chimed in next, “Of course, the mock battle was mere practice. The real fight is the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, which will take place during the Wyvern Moon. You are expected to properly train your students so as not to humiliate the academy during the long-held tradition that is the coming battle.”</p>
<p>I nodded. The Wyvern Moon would give about half a year to train. Given the showing they’d had during the mock battle, I had faith that the Blue Lions would make it easy for me.</p>
<p>Rhea drew my attention again. “As for today, I have called you here to tell you of your mission for the month ahead. Your class is to dispose of some bandits causing trouble nearby.”</p>
<p>“My mission?” I asked, suddenly unsure. My father had said that I wouldn’t be working as a mercenary here.</p>
<p>Seteth folded his arms across his chest. “Those affiliated with Garreg Mach Monastery have a moral obligation to help those in need, regardless of social standing. Students are no exception. Each month, before the newly birthed moon departs, each house of students must complete their assigned mission. You shall work to complete the task at hand alongside your students and report back to the archbishop before the deadline. Understood?”</p>
<p>When I nodded, he added, “I will soon provide you with the necessary details for your first mission. If I told you now, I expect you would only forget, and I despise repeating myself.”</p>
<p>Rhea studied me thoughtfully for a moment. “I can sense something special within your heart… I have high hopes for you.”</p>
<p>I sensed nothing in my heart, but I didn’t say that to her. Stay on your guard, my father’s voice echoed in my head as Rhea and Seteth left the chamber.</p>
<p><i>Bandits, they say…</i> Sothis’ voice sounded in my head, making me jump.</p>
<p>She ignored my shock and continued, <i>Do you recall when we first met? You shall not fall so shamelessly again, correct?</i></p>
<p>What was I supposed to say? No, I’ll try not to die again?</p>
<p><i>Have you no words for me? Do not tell me that you are shocked to hear from me!</i> She laughed. <i>You ought to know that I am always with you now. To hear my voice should not come as a shock.</i></p>
<p>It certainly was a shock. Every time I thought of Sothis I was unsure if I had just imagined her existence. I couldn't imagine that hearing voices others couldn't was a normal thing. I’d always been strange, but I hadn’t thought I was quite this strange. <i>I don’t understand,</i> I admitted to her.</p>
<p><i>Whatever shall I do with you? I am alive within the confines of your heart. I am unknown to all but you. But through your eyes and ears, I see and hear. Just listen to your heart, as you are doing now, and we may speak like this. That is all that I know,</i> she said soothingly.</p>
<p>And I had to admit, as strange as it was, there was something comforting about the idea.</p>
<h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>He’d been shocked to hear that the mercenary was going to become a professor. She looked about the same age as Sylvain, who was only two years older. That thought had him suddenly worrying that Sylvain would be trying to work his charms soon, and the idea of Sylvain stealing away with the most beautiful woman Dimitri had ever seen made him so unhappy that he’d tried to subtly warn her against him.</p>
<p>It was completely irrational--it was not as if he had any romantic claim to her, and especially not now that she was to be a professor. And then he’d stupidly fumbled when asked about himself. He had nothing worth sharing--nothing that would endear him to anyone. But somehow, his luck from the week had continued and she had been assigned to the Blue Lion House.</p>
<p>After being formally introduced to her as their professor, they’d wasted no time in doing what Felix had suggested and the entire class had ended up in the training ground preparing to spar.</p>
<p>The professor clearly stopped by her room to change, because when she showed up her jacket and skirt were gone and all of her armor was absent, leaving her standing in just her shorts--and of course that damn lace--and the black top that came down to her ribs. The top had a window cut open across her chest revealing the space between her collarbones down to the cleave of her ample breasts. He was sure it was more comfortable to spar in, but it was… distracting, to say the least.</p>
<p>She twirled her practice sword around in her grip. “Come at me, then,” she beckoned to the class.</p>
<p>“All at once?” Felix asked incredulously.</p>
<p>“If you’d like,” she responded coolly. “It’ll give me a good idea of where each of you are at.”</p>
<p>If he hadn’t seen her fight, he’d be more hesitant. But he knew she was skilled, and there was a cool confidence in her striking eyes that had replaced the hollowness. Like she knew who she was when she gripped a blade. That confidence drove Dimitri to relent. “You heard her,” he called to the rest of the class. “Let’s show her what the Blue Lions are made of!”</p>
<p>He’d expected her to wait for them to engage at his words, but in the blink of an eye she had sprung into action, hurtling straight for him. He raised his lance to block her, but Dedue stepped out at his side to protect him, ever the faithful vassal.</p>
<p>The professor’s eyes never left his own, even as she ducked under the swing of Dedue’s axe and flipped her blade in her hand, striking it across not Dimitri’s own chest, but Dedue’s.</p>
<p>“Predictable,” she chided. Dimitri’s eyes widened as he realized that her intent from the start had been to bait Dedue out, taking care of the large man before he could prove to be a threat.</p>
<p>“My apologies, Your Highness,” Dedue said as he bowed out of the group, ever focused on his perceived duty to Dimitri.</p>
<p>Sylvain had taken advantage of her focus being elsewhere to approach from behind. His lance was raised as she turned to look at him. “Would you really hit a girl?” she asked in a quiet voice.</p>
<p>It was just for a second, but Sylvain froze, clearly caught off-guard. It was a second too long, for in that instant, she struck with a low slice across the knees where he couldn’t block in time with his lance raised for an attack.</p>
<p>“No hesitation!” she ordered.</p>
<p>“I was paralyzed by your beauty,” Sylvain responded with a wink.</p>
<p>But she was already moving again, leaping to the side, out of the way of an arrow Ashe had fired.</p>
<p>He thought back to when she had sat with him in the courtyard, going through the roster of students. And now, she was using every scrap of information that he had given against them.</p>
<p>Ashe was still fumbling to draw his next shot when she was upon him. Dimitri saw the shock cross his features, and he dropped his bow before she could strike him.</p>
<p>She seemed to accept Ashe’s surrender and wasted no time as she whirled to catch Ingrid’s lance with her sword. It was the first blow that had actually been blocked, and Ingrid seemed excited about it. Until the professor’s free hand formed into a fist that caught Ingrid squarely in the chest and knocked her to the ground. A second later, the point of her practice sword was at Ingrid’s throat.</p>
<p>Ingrid said nothing, but her shock was plain on her face. Knightly perhaps to a fault, she hadn’t thought that she might be attacked with fists rather than a weapon.</p>
<p>Without looking back, the professor ducked and dodged the desperate swing that Annette had made with her axe. When she whirled on the redhead, Annette squealed and dropped the axe in surrender. Dimitri didn’t exactly blame her.</p>
<p>Felix was on her then, his eyes lit up in a way that only seemed to happen when he was training. It struck Dimitri that perhaps Felix and their new professor were similar in that regard.</p>
<p>Felix was actually able to trade several blows back and forth, his attention solely on the blades parrying each other. Dimitri saw it before Felix did, precisely because the latter’s focus was entirely on the blades, so he was not prepared when she struck her foot out, catching Felix’s own and sending him tumbling to the ground.</p>
<p>Felix said nothing, but his eyes were alight as he’d finally found a worthy opponent.</p>
<p>“Do not just wield a weapon, <i>be</i> a weapon,” she said to Felix before whirling on Dimitri.</p>
<p>He caught the swing of her sword with his lance as he realized that he’d just been standing there watching her, completely awestruck. How long had it even been? It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes since they’d started.</p>
<p>He threw himself against her in earnest, pushing her back with force that only he was capable of. Force that he was still clumsy with, even to this day, as he put a little too much strength in the next swing of his lance. A swing that she caught by taking one step back to steady herself--she didn’t even blink. His eyes widened slightly. He had been certain that he was going to send her sprawling across the floor of the training ground. Had he misjudged the strength he’d used? Or… was she responding with similar strength? And if so, did she not even realize that such strength was unnatural?</p>
<p>He pulled back and swung again, but this time, she caught the blow with her bare wrist. His gaze dropped to her sword, trying to move to block wherever she intended to strike him, when he felt his feet get swiped out from under him.</p>
<p>He crashed to the ground and then he was blinking up at her as she stood over him, the point of her practice sword pressed gently against his neck.</p>
<p>He’d thought she was captivating against the bandits, but this had been something else entirely. She’d barely broken a sweat. The way she fought was ruthless, bloodthirsty, monstrous. A demon. But when she extended her hand in an offer to help him up, the movement was gentle. He took her hand, and he was enthralled.</p>
<p>The professor gazed around at the rest of the class. Mercedes was already working on the bruise that was surely forming on Ingrid’s chest.</p>
<p>“The more you reveal about yourself, the more an enemy can use against you,” the professor finally said. “Never let your guard down.”</p>
<p>They were lonely words that resonated deep within Dimitri’s soul. He, too, had erected a fortress around his heart, a facade to hide himself. He couldn’t help but wonder who she was within the keep and what had driven her to build her walls and don the mask.</p>
<p>“You all did well,” she continued, as if she hadn’t just taken each of them out without much difficulty. “We’ve got a few days before the mock battle. We’ll divide our time between lectures and training, and we’ll win.”</p>
<p>Dimitri would’ve expected such words to be followed with a smile, but there was nothing. Just those dark blue eyes that somehow looked hollow now that she wasn’t immersed in combat.</p>
<p>Mercedes was finishing up amongst the rest of the students and approached Dimitri. “Any wounds that need patching?” she asked cheerfully.</p>
<p>“I am fine. Thank you, Mercedes,” he responded. He’d managed to not take any strikes, instead only being tripped. His ego, perhaps, was a bit bruised, but he reminded himself that she was the daughter of the Blade Breaker, and that now he had the opportunity to learn from her.</p>
<p><i>Yes, learn from her so you can avenge us,</i> his father said, an ever present reminder of his duty, that his life was not his own. He felt his posture stiffen.</p>
<p>Mercedes departed with a nod and walked over to the professor.</p>
<p>“Excuse me, Professor?” she asked. “That was quite a display. Do you need any wounds attended to?”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about me,” the professor responded simply.</p>
<p>“Are you sure? That hit you blocked from Dimitri is sure to bruise,” Mercedes pressed.</p>
<p>“I’ll just wrap it to keep the swelling down. It’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>“If you say so, Professor,” Mercedes said with a shrug and walked away. The professor had turned towards a small supply table in the training grounds.</p>
<p>He approached her after Mercedes had left. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like your wrist looked at? I would feel terrible if that were to bruise.”</p>
<p>She turned to face him, pulling the knot in a scrap of white cloth wrapped around her wrist tight with her teeth. “It’s nothing to worry about. You did well. I wasn’t expecting to have to distract you like that.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for sparring with us,” he tried again. Anything. Anything to coax some kind of reaction. “Your skill truly is unparalleled. I am looking forward to learning from you.”</p>
<p>She blinked at him. Goddess, she was beautiful. And so far out of reach. In that moment, she reminded him of a star. Twinkling above in the sky, but always just out of reach. It struck him how lonely that might be, and how there was something sad about the hollowness in her eyes.</p>
<hr/>
<p>They’d won the mock battle, and not just by the skin of their teeth, it had been a resounding victory. The few days of training they’d had and the expert tactics from the professor had paid off and the whole class was bubbling with energy when they’d agreed that a victory celebration was in order. All that was left was to find the key to their victory.</p>
<p>She was in the reception hall by the time they’d managed to track her down.</p>
<p>“Professor!” Dimitri called to her. “I’ve been looking for you.”</p>
<p>She turned to face him.</p>
<p>“I was hoping we could all share a meal together. It could serve as a victory celebration and a post-battle analysis. What do you think?” he offered. She hadn’t yet joined the class for a meal, and a victory feast had seemed the perfect way to break down that barrier.</p>
<p>She blinked at him. Dimitri was certain that she was about to say no, just as she had turned down Mercedes offer to heal her wrist the day that they’d first sparred. He braced himself for the rejection that was about to come when she asked, “I’m invited?”</p>
<p>He’d been certain that she just didn’t care for them and had been avoiding spending time with them. Could it really be that she thought that she wasn’t welcome? He cursed himself silently for not making it more clear, just as he cursed that perfect mask on her face for making her so difficult to read. “Of course. Why wouldn’t you be?”</p>
<p>Sylvain interrupted before she could answer, but Dimitri couldn’t be too upset as Sylvain was at least trying to convince her to join them. “Come now, Professor! We can’t very well celebrate without the key to our victory present.”</p>
<p>“He’s right! He really is!” Annette agreed. “We were only able to win because we had your help, Professor!”</p>
<p>Felix shot him a look. “Yes. Compared with that boar who knows nothing save frontal attacks, your tactics were nearly decent.”</p>
<p>Ingrid was already scolding their friend. “Felix! You really ought to stop picking fights with His Highness.”</p>
<p>Felix hadn’t called him by his name since they’d reunited at the academy. Always the boar now. Not that he disagreed with either point, although he would argue that the tactics had been more than decent.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Ingrid,” Dimitri said with a shake of his head. “I encourage all to speak freely. And I must agree that the professor’s tactics were truly extraordinary. I have much to learn.”</p>
<p>“Oh, sure, but today was exhausting,” Mercedes said in a tired voice. “I’m so hungry I can barely stand…”</p>
<p>She was clearly trying to move the conversation from the reception hall to the dining hall.</p>
<p>Ashe seized the opportunity with a smile. “To be honest, so am I. Let’s head to the dining hall. Together.”</p>
<p>The rest of the class wandered out at his words. But the professor was still just standing there, her face a mask of indifference. Did she not want to join them after all? Had he made things worse by making her feel obligated to attend?</p>
<p>He took a deep breath, willing his voice to be steady. “Professor,” he began, and was grateful to find his voice betraying little of his nervousness. “I’m sorry to intrude, but… you don’t look too happy for someone who just won.”</p>
<p>Her chin dipped slightly. “You’re mistaken,” she disagreed. But that hollow look was in her eyes again. He thought of the walls she had inadvertently admitted to putting up around her, and the loneliness he himself felt every damn moment.</p>
<p>“You say that, but your eyes tell a different story.”</p>
<p><i>You would know, wouldn’t you?</i> Glenn whispered.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head, willing silence to fill his mind instead of the voices of the fallen. He willed his focus back onto the woman before him. “I know we only just met, so this may be difficult for you, but…” It was difficult for him. But every time he saw that look in her eyes, he realized that he wanted to see what she would look like if she smiled. If someone so closed off as her was capable of happiness, then perhaps… perhaps he was too. “I’d love nothing more than to share our happiness with you. Joy can be so fleeting, after all. We’re all in this together… so I hope you will consent. I’m sure the rest of the class feels the very same.”</p>
<p>He gestured for her to follow. Having come this far, he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. “Well… come along, Professor. Let’s enjoy the fruits of our labor!”</p>
<p>Mercifully, she nodded and followed him to the dining hall where the rest of the class and the feast awaited.</p>
<p>He knew there had been a time when he enjoyed feasts, a time when he could still taste the food. Now, he politely ate enough to sustain himself, enough to not draw any attention. He knew others enjoyed them though, so he did his best to keep up appearances.</p>
<p>Until he realized that the professor was no exception to enjoying feasts--she perhaps enjoyed them more than anyone he’d ever seen. Her mask never fell away, but as she went through round after round of food, eagerly reaching for different dishes, he found himself very much enjoying this feast. For he’d discovered one thing that she maybe did enjoy, and perhaps the impenetrable walls of her fortress had weakened ever so slightly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Familiar Scenery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions take care of bandits at the Red Canyon.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Almost to where things start to get more interesting! Another chapter or two and things should be picking up.</p>
<p>Let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from another's point of view.</p>
<p>I'll aim to have the next chapter up within a week! Thank you for reading, for kudos and comments, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>Dimitri stood at my side before Seteth in the advisory room off of the main audience chamber. It seemed that as the house leader, I’d be seeing quite a lot of him.</p>
<p>Seteth’s arms were, as always, folded across his chest. I wondered if his scowl was permanent, but then I remembered the way his face looked when he’d seen his sister, Flayn. “As you have already been notified, your mission is to subdue some bandits. Our students have been learning about combat through study, but this is a precious opportunity to provide them with practical experience. The knights will support your mission and are prepared to offer their assistance if necessary.” He dropped his arms to his side. “In short, this is no mock battle. You must be prepared for anything. You will receive a message from the knights when it is time to depart. Until then, use your time wisely.”</p>
<p>Seteth strode out of the room, leaving Dimitri and I alone. The prince turned to look at me. “This will be our first true battle. I’m looking forward to fighting alongside you, Professor.”</p>
<p>I wondered if he was thinking of us standing back to back against the bandits outside of Remire Village like I was. “As am I,” I said, and I meant it.</p>
<p>“During the mock battle, your commands were thoughtful and thorough, as was your strategy. With you on our side, I’m confident we will prevail.” He paused. “It seems we have some time to spare before our departure. Let’s use this opportunity to prepare as best we can.”</p><hr/>
<p>My father was waiting for me in his office. He stood as I entered. “You seem well,” he observed. “Are you adjusting to life at the monastery?”</p>
<p>I was quiet for a while. “Yes and no,” I finally said. “It’s very different.”</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t expect it to be easy on you. When we were mercenaries, I handled everything. Outside of battle, you didn’t have much contact with people, did you? I thought being thrown into a swarm of noble brats to teach would be a bit much for you. But you seem to be doing alright,” he said, sounding a little surprised. “By the way, I heard about those bandits. Your first assignment is to take them out, right? That’s fairly routine for you by now, but don’t forget it’s the first real taste of battle for some of those brats, although being from the Kingdom, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them are experienced. It’ll be tougher to sleep at night though if you let one of your little pupils die, so stay vigilant and lead them well. I wish I could offer you my support, but Lady Rhea won’t allow it. For now, I’ll try to figure out what she wants from you. I don’t mind you settling into life here, but don’t let your guard down. Ever.”</p>
<p><i>Stay on your guard.</i> The mantra repeated.</p><hr/>
<p>I kept my father’s warning in mind, but I also found myself doing as he said and… settling in. I’d started to dine occasionally with the Blue Lions since the victory feast, and even the day to day was beginning to feel routine. Preparing lectures on various battle tactics and fighting styles and sparring with different students. I supposed I should be thanking my father for teaching me all that he did.</p>
<p>Every now and then Sothis would chime in and comment on things happening, compliment me on a lecture well done, demand that I taste a particular dessert. Every time she did, I nearly fell over with the shock of it. She was often silent as well though, always departing with a yawn.</p>
<p>As my new routine began to take shape, I also began to learn a bit more about each of the students in my charge.</p>
<p>Mercedes was a devout follower of the teachings of the Church. She was also quite observant and seemed to be a motherly figure to the group--especially to Annette, who was always full of energy. Both enjoyed baking, and I enjoyed when they’d bring sweets to class.</p>
<p>Ingrid, Felix, and Sylvain were all childhood friends of Dimitri. Ingrid did her best to rein in Felix and Sylvain, but her success was limited. Felix had a sharp tongue and frequently requested to spar with me. Sylvain was never without a smirk followed by a joke or a flirtatious comment.</p>
<p>Ashe was a hard worker and really looked up to his adoptive father, Lonato. His goal in coming to the Officers Academy was to become a knight.</p>
<p>Dedue was perhaps the most difficult to get through to. The first time I’d approached him, he had warned me that I shouldn’t be seen speaking with him as a man from Duscur. When I’d informed him that I didn’t care, he’d simply said nothing. But I found him in the greenhouse frequently.</p>
<p>And then there was Dimitri. Always early for lectures. Always the last to leave. Always happy to see if there was anything he could assist with as house leader. Polite. Friendly. Gracious. A prince, through and through. And always eager to spar. I enjoyed sparring with him.</p><hr/>
<p>I made it into the training grounds one evening to engage in my own practice when I ran into Felix.</p>
<p>“I thought I heard someone,” he said, turning from where he’d been facing a practice dummy. “Are you here to train?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” I responded.</p>
<p>“Care to train with me?” he asked. “Waving this sword alone is boring. And I’m tired of crossing swords with worthless opponents. But you seem like a worthy adversary.”</p>
<p>“You think I’m a worthy adversary?” It was perhaps the closest thing I’d heard Felix give to a compliment.</p>
<p>“I don’t know for certain, but you seem skilled. I’ve always been interested in your technique. You learned from the former captain of the Knights of Seiros, and traveled Fódlan as a mercenary. Good sparring partners like you don’t grow on trees. But know that I will beat you, and I will surpass your strength.”</p>
<p>“Why are you so focused on becoming stronger?”</p>
<p>The question seemed to give him pause. “Why? Hm. I never really thought about that. I learned to thrust a sword before I learned to write my name. That’s how it is for all children in my country. You’re no use if you can’t swing a sword, however mighty your Crest may be. It was the perfect environment for me. I could live free of stodgy values and virtues. Grow strong so you may live, and live to grow stronger. That’s what I was taught.”</p>
<p>It sounded like my own upbringing. Swinging a sword from the moment I could stand on my own two feet. Not just learning to wield a weapon, but to be a weapon. And to never let down my guard. If that was the way of the Kingdom, perhaps my father was right that I’d been drawn to them for a reason. Although I wondered how he knew. “You remind me of myself,” I finally admitted to Felix.</p>
<p>He smiled. “Now I’m intrigued by your fighting style, and by who you really are… But that’s enough idle chatter. Take out your sword. My mind is emptied of all but the thrill of the challenge!”</p>
<p><i>I’m a demon,</i> I almost told him. But instead, I let my blade do the talking as I beat him soundly.</p>
<p>When he’d finally called it quits, he studied me closely. “You should know, the boar prince was looking for you earlier to spar.” His fist clenched at his side. “For years, we were inseparable. I know him better than almost anyone else. So let me give you some advice. Beneath all that princely polish, he’s an animal, nothing more. He’s strong and skilled, sure. But don’t place your trust in him as a human being. Take care he doesn’t chew you up and spit you out.”</p>
<p>I’d seen little evidence to support Felix’s claim, but I couldn’t argue that he undoubtedly knew the prince far better than I did. A not so small part of me--the part that was the Ashen Demon--hoped that he was right. That maybe there was someone who was the same as me.</p><hr/>
<p>It was near the end of the month when we got word from Seteth that it was time to set out against the bandits. I was waiting in the entrance hall when Dimitri arrived, trailed by the rest of the class.</p>
<p>“Professor. I just got word from the knights that the last of the thieves have been cornered,” Dimitri said.</p>
<p>“Just as planned. They’re in Zanado, the Red Canyon,” Ingrid reported.</p>
<p><i>Tell me, Nemesis. Do you recall the Red Canyon?</i> The words echoed faintly in my mind like a dream.</p>
<p>Ashe interrupted my thoughts. “We certainly can’t allow those underhanded thieves to get away. Let’s work together and do our best to take them down!”</p>
<p>“It matters not who we’re up against. They will not harm His Highness,” Dedue asserted confidently.</p>
<p>Felix gave an unsatisfied grunt. “We’re just fighting common thieves, right? I don’t expect much of a challenge.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you a spoilsport. I’m actually quite excited myself. Who knows… There may even be some cute lady thieves,” Sylvain said with a wink.</p>
<p>Annette made a sound as if she was actually considering the idea. “Well, at any rate, a real battle is a great opportunity for us to see how far we’ve come.”</p>
<p>Mercedes nodded. “True. The mock battle was a success. We’ll be fine so long as we stay the course.”</p>
<p>The rest of the class went off to prepare, leaving Dimitri and I standing together alone.</p>
<p>“So much excitement,” I said, thinking of my father’s words at the beginning of the month. How many of them had been in an actual battle before? How many were excited by the idea of it, and how many were actually prepared for the cost--and the thrill, the demon whispered--of taking a life?</p>
<p>“Perhaps we are a bit overly excited,” Dimitri admitted. “But remember that we have the knights on our side. All should be well.” A thought seemed to occur to him then. “Ah! And speaking of the knights, I heard that Jeralt is once again one of the Knights of Seiros. Perhaps we’ll have the good fortune of seeing you two fight side by side.”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “We’ve fought together many times.” For as far back as I could remember, I had been fighting at my father’s side. Taking life after life after life.</p>
<p>“Oh, of course. I apologize for letting my childish whims get the better of me,” he said sheepishly. “In all honesty, I’m a bit jealous. My parents are no longer around.”</p>
<p><i>I’m afraid my story has not been a pleasant one,</i> his voice echoed in my head from the day we had met.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” I asked quietly, hoping that the answer was not the one that seemed obvious.</p>
<p>He averted my gaze. “They… they died. Both of them. I’m all that remains of them now…”</p>
<p>Something ached in my chest as I watched him. I had never known my mother, but my father… My father was everything in my life, a constant in a sea of change, my home. I’d never been apart from him, except for a few weeks when he had left for a mission in Sauin Village when I was a child, leaving me in the care of his second-in-command. I had completely shut down, spoken to no one, interacted with no one, until he returned. I couldn’t even imagine the gaping hole that such a loss would leave in a person--the irreparable way that losing my father would break me as nothing else could. It left me fumbling for words.</p>
<p>I never did find the words, because Dimitri spoke before I could. “Anyhow. I’m sorry to bore you with such things.” He motioned for us to move. “I’d say it’s nearly time for us to depart. Eh, Professor?”</p><hr/>
<p>“The Red Canyon… This is the first time I have ever been here. It’s like walking through a ruin,” Dimitri said as we finally arrived.</p>
<p>And he was correct. It was a huge, gaping chasm. Around the rocky ground on which we stood there were the crumbling remains of buildings. It seemed as if a town must have stood in its place at one point. Before us was a long bridge that led to a wide, open expanse of rock. Two more bridges branched off from it, one to the north and one to the west, both leading to the ruins of the city to the north. I could see several bandits beyond the first bridge, but most of them were likely defending a position against the ruins.</p>
<p><i>So, we are taking children into battle, are we?</i> Sothis chimed in as she observed through my eyes. <i>I am not certain I will be able to sleep soundly after beholding something like that…</i></p>
<p><i>I was a child in battle for a long time,</i> I responded, trying not to let her sudden appearance distract me.</p>
<p>Dimitri turned back to look at me. “Let’s get this battle out of the way, Professor. The thieves must have already been driven back.” </p>
<p>I nodded, giving the order for our group to cluster up and cross the bridge. The bandits were gathering across the bridge, seeing our approach. One rushed Dimitri as we advanced, and before I could move, he was parrying and slicing his lance through the man’s chest. By the time I reached his side, I could see that his hands were shaking slightly. “I know they are just thieves, but this never gets easier for me…” he admitted quietly to me.</p>
<p>While we were distracted speaking, I watched in horror, horror like I had never felt before, as an arrow shot from the group of bandits and lined up with his neck. I didn’t have time to pull him out of the way. I needed more time.</p>
<p>And then everything stopped and the colors inverted. <i>Fear not, little one,</i> I heard Sothis’ voice. <i>I shall allow you to turn back the hands of time, but know this power is not infinite!</i></p>
<p>I felt it, as she said it. It was like a pulse. Bright and fluid and flowing, the divine pulse of time, within my reach. I grasped it and willed the flow to reverse. When the colors righted themselves and the world began moving again, I was once again the only one aware.</p>
<p>“I know they are just thieves, but this never gets easier for me…” Dimitri admitted quietly to me.</p>
<p>I grabbed him by the arm and jerked him to the side. He stumbled slightly, his head dipping as I pulled him to me. His eyes widened as the arrow grazed his cheek. A thin line of blood bloomed in its path and then streaked down the skin of his face.</p>
<p>Without thinking, I reached out and touched the cut. Alive. Safe. Not entirely whole but close enough. A scrape. Not an arrow through his throat.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Professor,” he said, his eyes wide. Wide and alive.</p>
<p>It was only when his cheeks flushed that I realized what I was doing and quickly withdrew my hand. His skin had been warm under my fingers. When had I touched anyone without the aim to hurt?</p>
<p>
  <i>The battlefield is no place for idle thoughts.</i>
</p>
<p>With my father’s voice in my mind, I threw myself back into the fray without a word. As we crossed the bridge and engaged the bandits’ frontline in earnest, each of the students had an opponent.</p>
<p>Dedue showed nothing but resolve as he blocked a bandit’s way to Dimitri. “Still whole and sound, I hope…” he’d remarked, glancing back at his liege.</p>
<p>Felix was projecting bravado as he felled a bandit on his blade. “Finished already? I was hoping for more of a challenge.”</p>
<p>Ingrid was pulling her lance from a bandit, already shifting to take on the next. “I can’t relax here. We need to prepare for our next battle!”</p>
<p>As Sylvain brought down his own opponent, his usual smirk was absent. “I had to do it. Don’t hate me, please.”</p>
<p>Mercedes fired an arrow into the chest of a bandit near the edge of the dwindling frontline. “I hope the goddess blesses them to rest in peace…”</p>
<p>Blasts of sharp wind flew from Annette’s hands into the bandit approaching her. “I did it! See? I’m a great fighter!”</p>
<p>Ashe brought down the last of the frontline with a well-aimed shot. “If I’d hesitated, that… that would’ve been me.”</p>
<p>With the frontline dispatched, I motioned to the bridges to the north and west. We split up into two groups and moved through, dispatching bandits as we went. I tried to push ahead, making sure to keep an eye on everyone with my father’s warning echoing in my ears. I had never taken time to watch the other mercenaries in our group as we fought, but now, as I watched the students, I realized that if one of them did fall, I would be devastated.</p>
<p>They were capable though, and between my slaughtering and their own, the leader was the only one left by the time I reached him. I was shocked to see the bandit who had led the group at Remire Village when I’d first run into the three house leaders.</p>
<p>“Y-you’re… It can’t be! The mercenary from before?” He bit out. “So what, now you’re pals with the knights? I’ll kill you and your pesky brats!”</p>
<p>“No, you won’t.” I lunged forward, slicing up and splitting his entire torso open.</p>
<p>“I should have never listened to that idiot… What a mistake…” he coughed out as the life left his eyes.</p>
<p>Dimitri had caught up to me, surveying the bloody scene with an expression that I couldn’t quite read. He turned back to the rest of the Blue Lions who had also caught up. “We have defeated the thieves. We’ll follow the knights’ instructions for what to do next.” He turned back to me. “You led us well, Professor.”</p>
<p>As the students met with the knights, I walked to the edge of the ruins, looking out at the chasm. <i>I remember this being a peaceful place,</i> I mused. And then I paused. I had never been here.</p>
<p><i>Hmm… I wonder why it is that you recall this place,</i> Sothis wondered. I blinked in surprise. <i>You must be weak of heart. Each time I speak, it scares you so.</i></p>
<p><i>You surprised me,</i> I responded. She always showed up without warning, she couldn’t blame me for being surprised. <i>Thank you, for earlier.</i></p>
<p><i>Although the battle’s at an end, do not feel too at ease,</i> she cautioned. There was a pause before she continued. <i>Well, anyhow… I am quite fascinated by this place. As far as I can tell, this is your first time here.</i></p>
<p><i>Still, it feels familiar,</i> I admitted.</p>
<p><i>How very odd. I wonder if somehow, my memories have… Hmm,</i> she pondered. <i>I must admit I am unsure. Beyond the name and this strange feeling of familiarity, I can’t seem to remember anything about this place. And yet… a great depth of emotion is tied to that sense of familiarity. Like joy and sorrow. Pain and love. And all things in between… If I was somehow here before, I wonder what took place…</i></p>
<p>We were interrupted by Dimitri’s approach. He was looking at me thoughtfully. I wondered how long I had been standing here staring off into the chasm. I tried to shake off the image of the arrow about to pierce his throat, the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips.</p>
<p>“Professor? We should return to the monastery soon. We’re all ready for the journey,” he said.</p>
<p>I nodded to Dimitri, who turned to rejoin the class.</p>
<p><i>It is time to depart. But know that time reveals all things. One day, I will remember that which I have lost… Oh, by the way. It seems you’ve earned my gratitude. The thieves who came here are no more,</i> Sothis said gently.</p>
<p><i>Why are you grateful?</i> I asked, sparing one more look at the chasm before us.</p>
<p>
  <i>I am not sure myself, yet I am grateful all the same. In any case… You must become accustomed to my voice! If you fall down with shock each time I speak, that just won’t do.</i>
</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p><i>Oh… You think you’re standing strong? Of course you are! It was a jest,</i> Sothis chided with a laugh.</p><hr/>
<p>I followed Dimitri into the entrance hall when we finally made it back to the monastery. “We’re finally back. I’ll leave the report to Lady Rhea in your hands, Professor.”</p>
<p>I nodded, about to depart when he looked over to his right. “Huh… Edelgard,” he observed as Edelgard and Manuela approached and stopped beside us.</p>
<p>I had barely seen Edelgard since she’d complimented me on the Blue Lions’ showing in the mock battle and shared what a shame it was that I was not in charge of the Black Eagles instead. I hadn’t regretted my choice, though.</p>
<p>Dimitri was watching her closely. “Does the Black Eagle House have a mission to see to?” he asked. “Remember--on a real battlefield, one can never tell what’s to come. You can never dismiss the possibility of the worst case scenario. Take care, Edelgard.”</p>
<p>The worst case scenario like an arrow slicing through his throat. Every time I closed my eyes I saw it. I stared at the thin slice across his cheek.</p>
<p>Edelgard’s arrogant response snapped my attention from the prince. “There’s no need to state the obvious, Dimitri,” she said dismissively. “But tell me… Why the concern? Perhaps you doubt my abilities? If so, your lack of insight is disappointing.”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head and frowned. “That’s… not what I meant. If I’ve offended you, I hope you’ll accept my apology.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” she said, turning back to Manuela. “Professor, we must hurry. Everyone’s waiting on you.” She then turned on her heel and glided off.</p>
<p>Manuela shrugged at Dimitri. “I suppose I should be off too. Try not to let her get to you, Dimitri. I promise you, there’s no need for concern.” And then Manuela left us as well.</p>
<p>Dimitri lowered his chin and made a small sound as though he were thinking.</p>
<p>“Puppy love?” I asked. Something in me writhed unhappily. That small part of me that liked to whisper things I didn’t like to hear spoke up, suggesting that maybe I wanted him to worry about me like that.</p>
<p>He barked a laugh and surprise flashed across his features as he shook his head. “Now, that’s a lark. I had no idea you had a sense of humor, Professor.”</p>
<p>I hadn’t been joking. But I found that his answer soothed the feeling that had been rising since we’d run into Edelgard.</p>
<p>“I’ll tell you all about it… some other time.” He left me then to make my way to the audience chamber to face Rhea.</p><hr/>
<p>Rhea was alone when I entered. “So, you have safely disposed of those bandits. I pray that their souls find salvation.” She paused. “But why did they target the students to begin with? We must further investigate the true cause of all that took place. Until we know more, I ask that you support the students and relieve them of any unnecessary worry.”</p>
<p>I nodded. “I will do all that I can.”</p>
<p>“Good. I have high expectations for you,” she responded. I didn’t know why she did, but while I felt no loyalty towards her, I had realized on the battlefield today that I truly did care for the Blue Lions.</p>
<p>“By the way, how was your time in Zanado?” she asked. “Legend has it, in ancient times, a goddess alighted upon this world in that very canyon. For a goddess from the heavens, Zanado could only have been a temporary haven.”</p>
<p>Zanado had been… familiar. I wasn’t about to discuss that with her, so instead I inquired, “A goddess?”</p>
<p>“Long ago, the divine Seiros received a revelation from the goddess. A gift, to help guide the lost. The goddess is always watching over Fódlan from her kingdom above. However, in ancient times, the goddess graced this world with her presence and offered salvation to the people here. She is the mother of all life, the arbiter of every soul.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know,” I admitted.</p>
<p>“I see,” Rhea said sadly. “During your time here, I pray that you come to devote yourself to the teachings of Seiros.”</p>
<p>Seteth entered the room then, breezing past me. “Uh… Lady Rhea, I am sorry to interrupt. There is something I must ask about in regard to those bandits…”</p>
<p>“As you wish.” Rhea turned her gaze back to me. “We shall continue our discussion when next we meet.”</p>
<p>Once I got outside of the audience chamber, Sothis spoke, <i>A goddess… I have no memory of her. But then… I have no memory at all! Oh, how bothersome! It is as though I know… and yet I don’t. Perhaps Zanado was my home back when the goddess walked the land. If so… What does that make me now? A ghost?</i></p>
<p><i>I don’t know,</i> I admitted.</p>
<p>Sothis pondered for a moment. <i>Hmm… No. That cannot be. I am most certainly alive. Of course, we also have the mystery of why I’m here with you. Is it somehow connected? Perhaps some past regret is stopping me from moving on, and now I’m forced to stay with you instead… No, that’s not it! I can’t believe in such a meaningless existence! I… I…</i> She trailed off with a yawn and I was left with silence.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>The victory celebration seemed to have worked and broken down some barrier that was between the professor and the class. She'd started dining with the class on occasion and they sparred frequently as part of their lessons. For all the grace with which she moved with a weapon in hand, she was surprisingly… ordinary at times. There were times Dimitri would catch her dozing off at her desk after a long lecture or times she would forget to bring her lecture notes and have to run back to her room prior to starting the class. If he had thought her a star, they were things that perhaps brought her a bit closer to earth, a bit nearer to his reach. If she thought herself a weapon, they were things that perhaps softened her edges. And if he thought he had erected a fortress around himself just like she had, they were things that continued to assault his own walls, bit by bit.</p>
<p>He came across her one day sitting outside the classroom, fumbling to gather a mess of papers scattered across the ground.</p>
<p>"...hair..." she mumbled as he approached.</p>
<p>As he knelt down next to her and began gathering papers with her, he saw it. Just before her attention focused on him, there was a slight crease to her brows, a certain shine to her eyes. If he hadn't been so consumed with watching her all the time, he may not have noticed the crack in her mask. But it was there, and she looked... bothered.</p>
<p>"Is something wrong, Professor?" he asked.</p>
<p>"Oh, hello, Dimitri," she responded. The crack in the mask disappeared. She was quiet for a moment, and he was sure that she was not going to tell him. The slight crease returned to her brows. Her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. "I... I found a strand of my hair in Hanneman's office."</p>
<p>It was his turn to blink blankly at her. "What?"</p>
<p>"He's investigating my Crest, trying to figure out what it is."</p>
<p>It was the first he was hearing of her having a Crest. It shouldn't have surprised him to hear that she did have one with the sort of power she displayed. Not that a Crest was a replacement for talent, but when he thought of the way she'd withstood his blows during their first sparring session, it made a bit more sense if she had a Crest. A mystery Crest. His eyes dropped to the dagger always at her hip. Just another mystery to add to the enigma that was this woman.</p>
<p>"He shouldn't have taken your hair," Dimitri assured her, so horrified by the breach that he didn't have the words to describe it.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Dimitri," she said softly as he handed the papers he'd gathered to her.</p>
<p>He didn't know whether it was for helping her pick things up or for listening. He didn't care, because he was too focused on marching to Professor Hanneman's office. Luckily--for the older gentleman's sake--the office was empty. And just as she'd said, there was a strand of greenish-black hair in the device in the center of the room which Dimitri promptly removed.</p><hr/>
<p>Dimitri ran into Felix in the training ground. He'd been hoping to find the professor there to spar, but he supposed his old friend would do as well.</p>
<p>"Hello, Felix. I was hoping to find the professor here, but I see you're here to train as well," he said in greeting.</p>
<p>Felix fixed him with a sharp glare. "Go away. Just looking at your face makes me wanna retch."</p>
<p>He sounded just like Glenn. Like Glenn had been before he'd died, and like Glenn sounded now as he said, <i>My brother and I have that in common.</i></p>
<p>"Heh. With that mouth of yours, you grow more like your brother every day," Dimitri responded.</p>
<p>"Shut up. And stop walking around on your hind legs. You're not fooling me."</p>
<p>Dimitri frowned. They'd been close once. It hadn't even been that day that had really broken their friendship. "I cannot fathom why you seem to hate me so," he responded carefully.</p>
<p>Felix's hands clenched into fists. "Because I know what you really are--a beast, craving blood."</p>
<p>That was right. What had really broken things was not that day, but two years ago. When Dimitri had first felt his mask slip, when he had first lost control of the monster lurking inside of him. "A beast craving blood, am I? I assume you're speaking of the events two years ago. Last time we met outside the academy?"</p>
<p>"I am," Felix confirmed. "The way you suppressed that rebellion... It was ruthless slaughter and you loved every second. I remember the way you killed your victims. How you watched them suffer. And your face... that expression. All the world's evil packed into it. That was our first battle. I remember it vividly."</p>
<p>Dimitri remembered it too. A rebellion, attempting to seize the throne in the wake of his father's murder. But what had sent him over the edge was the screaming. Not the screaming of those he slaughtered, but the screaming of his father and Glenn, even his stepmother, echoing in his ears, in his soul, demanding vengeance, demanding blood.</p>
<p>"Oh, something wrong?" Felix pressed in the wake of his silence. "Go ahead and deny it, you wild boar."</p>
<p>The practice lance in his grip was beginning to splinter. "I deny nothing, Felix."</p>
<p>"Well then. I suppose the Dimitri I once knew died during that slaughter in Duscur, along with my brother."</p>
<p>He sometimes felt like he had. He wished he had. He wished it every single damn day of his miserable existence. But even if he was still alive, his life had been extinguished that day and had belonged to the dead ever since.</p>
<p>"Perhaps you're right," Dimitri finally agreed.</p>
<p>Felix grunted at him, brandishing his practice sword. "Hurry up and get out of my sight. I don't make a habit of talking to beasts."</p>
<p>He'd originally come to find the professor to spar, but as he turned on his heel and left, he did not want her to see him. He thought of her expressionless face, splattered with gore, as she cut through the bandits on the day they'd met. He knew why she had unnerved him then. Because he had thought that she was like him--a beast, craving blood.</p><hr/>
<p>His hands were shaking when he took out the first bandit under her watchful gaze. He hated it, absolutely detested killing. The beast in him loved it, craved the violence. He hated how much that part of him loved it. “I know they are just thieves, but this never gets easier for me…” he admitted quietly.</p>
<p>He’d been distracted since they’d set out. It had been stupid to bring up seeing her and Jeralt fighting together. Childish. Even though a part of him desperately wanted to see the two in action, the Blade Breaker and his daughter. It had been far stupider to admit to his own pain and jealousy in front of her. He was trying to break down her walls, not let his own down.</p>
<p>He had been so distracted that he hadn’t noticed the enemy archer or the arrow flying towards him.</p>
<p>But she had.</p>
<p>He was jerked roughly to the side as the professor grabbed his arm, leaving the arrow to just graze his cheek. He felt a flash of pain and the slight trickle of hot blood. And then he felt her touch, and the pain was completely forgotten in the wake of it. Her fingertips were warm, and softer than he would have expected from someone who spent every day with a weapon in hand.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Professor,” he managed to get out. She had just saved his life, he was certain of it, but what was giving him difficulty forming words was the electricity he felt spreading through his body from her touch.</p>
<p>He stared at her. She was staring back at him. He could feel heat creeping in his neck and his cheeks. He desperately wished in that moment that he could read anything about her. But only the mask looked back at him. And then without a word, she withdrew her hand and threw herself back into the fray.</p><hr/>
<p>The professor was standing at the edge of the canyon when he approached. He’d watched her for a while before he walked up. She looked deep in thought as she stared into the chasm below. What he would’ve given for a chance to glimpse inside her head.</p>
<p>She’d turned to look at him as he neared. “Professor? We should return to the monastery soon,” he said. “We’re all ready for the journey.”</p>
<p>He should thank her again for saving his life. But when he looked at her, all he could think of was her touch and he was certain that if he opened his mouth again he would say something foolish.</p>
<p>She just nodded, and he turned to depart and rejoin the class. When he had taken a few steps away, he chanced a glance back at her. Dimitri was certain that he saw her turn back and shake her head. Almost as if she were… talking to someone. </p>
<p>Almost as if the dead clung to her too and whispered in her ears.</p>
<p><i>Only you,</i> Glenn told him. <i>We only cling to you.</i></p><hr/>
<p>“We’re finally back. I’ll leave the report to Lady Rhea in your hands, Professor,” he said as he made to leave her in the entrance hall.</p>
<p>He had been turning to depart when he saw his stepsister and Professor Manuela. “Huh… Edelgard,” he observed aloud.</p>
<p>“Does the Black Eagle House have a mission to see to?” he said by way of greeting. “Remember--on a real battlefield, one can never tell what’s to come. You can never dismiss the possibility of the worst case scenario. Take care, Edelgard.”</p>
<p>He certainly would have perished today if his professor had not been there. Although if she had not been there, he would not have been quite so distracted either.</p>
<p>“There’s no need to state the obvious, Dimitri,” Edelgard responded dismissively. “But tell me… Why the concern? Perhaps you doubt my abilities? If so, your lack of insight is disappointing.”</p>
<p>He frowned. Was it so wrong to wish that the only family he had left would not perish as the rest had? But he could never say the right things to Edelgard, never seem to reclaim an ounce of the friendship they’d once shared. “That’s… not what I meant. If I’ve offended you, I hope you’ll accept my apology.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” Edelgard responded as she turned away to Manuela. “Professor, we must hurry. Everyone’s waiting on you.” And then Edelgard strode off without a backwards glance.</p>
<p>The professor of the Black Eagles shrugged at him. “I suppose I should be off too. Try not to let her get to you, Dimitri. I promise you, there’s no need for concern.” And then she left too.</p>
<p>He would always be concerned for his family though.</p>
<p>“Puppy love?”</p>
<p>The words from his own professor drew him from his thoughts, and he couldn’t help but laugh despite the deadpan delivery of her joke. It was so far from the truth that it had to be a joke.</p>
<p>“Now that’s a lark. I had no idea you had a sense of humor, Professor,” he responded. “I’ll tell you all about it… some other time.”</p>
<p>His relation to Edelgard was not common knowledge, and not something he felt like sharing. Not then, maybe not ever. But his professor had already breached his walls once that day, and he wouldn’t be all that surprised if she managed to do so again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Mutiny in the Mist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions are sent to deal with Lord Lonato's rebellion against the Church of Seiros.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>I'll aim to have the next chapter up within a week! Thank you as always for reading, for kudos and comments, and I hope you enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>The new month began with me meeting Rhea in her audience chamber once again. Seteth was present as well, frowning at me as usual.</p>
<p>“Professor, I have a new mission for your students,” Rhea said. True to her word, it did seem that monthly missions would be part of my duties here.</p>
<p>“We have received reports that Lord Lonato has rallied troops against the Holy Church of Seiros,” Seteth continued.</p>
<p>I froze. The name sounded familiar. I was certain that was Ashe’s adoptive father. “Why would he do that?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Lord Lonato is a minor lord of the Kingdom. He has been showing hostility towards the church for some time now,” Rhea responded with a frown.</p>
<p>It wasn’t an answer. I wanted to press for the reason behind his hostility, but something in me warned that my own questioning could be seen as hostility. It almost sounded like my father’s voice.</p>
<p>“A vanguard unit from the Knights of Seiros is already on its way to his stronghold, Castle Gaspard. Lord Lonato’s army is nothing compared to the knights. It’s quite possible the rebellion has already been suppressed,” Seteth continued.</p>
<p>“Even so, I would like for your class to travel with the knights’ rear guard to deal with the aftermath,” Rhea said.</p>
<p>“War zones are unpredictable. We do not expect you will have cause to battle, but be prepared for the worst,” Seteth cautioned.</p>
<p>That was not a lesson that I needed. I’d grown up on battlefields. I’d never shied away from them before, but as I thought of the idea of Ashe being dragged to face his own adoptive father, I found myself hoping that Seteth was right and that we would not have cause to take up arms.</p>
<p>“Excuse me,” a woman’s voice said from behind me. “You sent for me, Lady Rhea?”</p>
<p>A golden-skinned woman came to my side. She had short blonde hair with choppy layers. It was pulled into a ponytail that fell to the top of her shoulders, but layers had fallen free to frame her face. She had determined gray eyes and an easy, confident smile.</p>
<p>Rhea gestured towards the woman. “This is Catherine. She will be leading the knights whom you will be accompanying.”</p>
<p>Catherine fixed me with an assessing gaze. “Nice to meet you. We’ve heard a lot about you. If you need anything, just ask.”</p>
<p>“She is one of our bravest knights, and that is no small feat. Only an exceptional few have what it takes to join the Knights of Seiros. This mission should prove useful in demonstrating to the students how foolish it would be to ever turn their blades on the church…” Rhea trailed off and I found that she suddenly appeared menacing to me.</p>
<p>A chill went down my spine. <i>Stay on your guard.</i></p><hr/>
<p>Word traveled quickly. Everyone at the academy seemed to know of Lord Lonato’s rebellion, and everyone seemed to have their own opinion on it that they did not mind voicing.</p>
<p>When I had run into her outside of the classrooms, Edelgard had spoken of the futility of the effort and assured me that were she in the same situation, she would do whatever it took to ensure her victory.</p>
<p>Other opinions had been varied such as Lorenz and Ferdinand complaining that a noble would rebel, both Lysithea and Hubert expressing something unsettling about the situation, and Mercedes who was unsure why someone like Lonato, who was known as kind and gentle, would start a rebellion. And then there were those like Claude, just wishing me luck dealing with the situation.</p>
<p>Ashe did not show up for the lecture the day after the news had broken. I hadn’t seen him since Rhea had assigned me the mission and revealed that we would be taking action against his adoptive father. As soon as the day wrapped up, I had excused myself to try and find him.</p>
<p>He was in the cathedral when I finally managed to track him down, sitting in one of the pews with his head in his hands. His eyes were puffy when he looked at me.</p>
<p>“Please, Professor, there must be some mistake,” he said as I sat next to him. “Lonato would never raise arms against the church. At least, he never said anything to me about it.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Ashe,” I said in what I hoped was a soothing tone. I was unused to having to soothe. “I don’t know any more than you do.”</p>
<p>“What’s going to happen to him? If he’s killed, I… I don’t know how I’ll live with that.”</p>
<p>“All we can do is wait and see,” I responded.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I didn’t come to class,” he said after a moment.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Ashe. Take all the time you need.” I rose from the pew, finding that I had little in the way of words of comfort, and instead finding myself furious with Rhea for placing him in such a position.</p>
<p>As I left the cathedral, Dimitri strode to my side. “Professor! Perhaps you’d like to join me for dinner.”</p>
<p>“That sounds nice.”</p>
<p>As we walked, his brows were furrowed thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Something on your mind?” I asked.</p>
<p>He let out a small sigh. “Yes. Doubtless, there are times when one must take up their blade, even if there’s no chance of winning. But this… It’s downright senseless. Lord Lonato knows better. If he had enough allies to back his rebellion, it would be a different matter…”</p>
<p>“How so?” I pressed. I’d never really had a reason to fight, it was just the way of my life. Risking my life was just part of the job as a mercenary, as my father had said.</p>
<p>“This whole situation is a bit too strange for my liking,” Dimitri confessed. “Even with the necessary preparations in place, there is always a chance that something unexpected will occur. We should be ready for anything.” He held the door open for me as we reached the dining hall. “In any case, let’s enjoy our meal.”</p><hr/>
<p>It was Ingrid’s turn to clean up the training ground after the latest session sparring with the class in the middle of the month. Most of the class had already left to find dinner, with only myself and Dedue remaining. Ingrid was placing the practice weapons back in the rack when Dedue went to assist her.</p>
<p>“I don’t need your help,” Ingrid spit at him harshly.</p>
<p>Dedue’s hands clenched into fists at his side, but he simply gave a nod and left the training ground.</p>
<p>In that moment, I longed for the simplicity of the band of mercenaries that I used to travel with. A dispute could be settled with fists and I could stay out of it. But this, I realized, was my responsibility despite how inept I felt to handle it.</p>
<p>“What was that about?” I asked Ingrid as casually as I could.</p>
<p>She glared at the rack of weapons and did not meet my gaze. “Why does His Highness take the side of the people of Duscur? I just don’t understand it. Only four years ago, they murdered our king and slaughtered the soldiers and knights who were with him, all of whom were innocent. Even if he can forgive them, I can’t--not ever. What they’ve done is against all codes of honor and ethics.”</p>
<p>
  <i>I’m afraid that my story has not been a pleasant one.</i>
</p>
<p>The murder of the king. Dimitri’s father had not just died, he had been murdered. My chest ached as the new details of his own sad story sank in. But he would not have Dedue at his side if the man had a hand in it.</p>
<p>“Dedue was not responsible, I am sure,” I responded. </p>
<p>Ingrid was quiet for a long moment. I watched her fists clench.</p>
<p>“I… I lost someone too.” The tension went out of her hands. “I’ll apologize. I promise this won’t affect our missions,” she assured me.</p>
<p>And with that, I left to find Dedue. He was in the greenhouse when I finally tracked him down.</p>
<p>“You do not have to worry about me. I am used to such things,” he said as I approached. His focus remained on the flowers he was tending to in a corner of the room.</p>
<p>I realized he probably was. He had already tried to warn me away from speaking with him once. He did not seem perturbed, but I had seen his fists clench when Ingrid had yelled at him. And I was also someone who had been avoided throughout my life, and even in a short time of being around others, I realized that it was… lonely.</p>
<p>“What kind of flowers are those?” I asked softly.</p>
<p>“They are from Duscur.” He was quiet for a while as he worked. “They require a dry environment.”</p>
<p>I studied the large, pale yellow blossoms as I looked over his shoulder. Lines of fuchsia traced up the center of each petal. My father used to pick flowers for me when we would have a rare reprieve from all of the fighting that dominated our lives. “Aren’t they lovely?”</p>
<p>“Indeed. My sister was fond of this one in particular,” he said, gesturing to the pale yellow flower he was currently tending to.</p>
<p>“Where is your sister now?” I asked, finding that he was speaking to me more than he ever had before. He’d never been easy to hold a conversation with, and if I tried to press about what happened with Ingrid, I was sure he would simply shrug me off.</p>
<p>“Dead. Duscur is a dead land. Its flowers were all trampled under the boots of soldiers. But seeing this blossom brings back memories.” He turned to look at me. “I do not know why I am telling you all of this.”</p>
<p>“I’d like to hear more,” I said as gently as I could.</p>
<p>“There is little to tell. If you are from Fódlan, you must know what became of the people of Duscur. The people who betrayed their allies from Faerghus. The ones who were punished for regicide. The Duscur are shunned for their crimes, even now. It would be in your interest not to spend any more time around me than necessary,” he warned me again.</p>
<p>I hadn’t known the fate of the people of Duscur. I hadn’t known the fate of the king, either, not really. I had known only each job as we traveled from place to place. I had known only killing.</p>
<p>“I don’t care what other people think,” I reminded him.</p>
<p>“You may think little of it now, but your reputation will eventually suffer,” he responded.</p>
<p>I wanted to point out that while I was not feared at the academy, my reputation in the world at large was that of a monster. The Ashen Demon’s reputation could not get worse. But Ingrid had suggested that Dimitri did not blame the people of Duscur, and I doubted that Dedue would be at his side if the prince held such blame in his heart.</p>
<p>“Dimitri doesn’t shun you.”</p>
<p>“His Highness is an exception.”</p>
<p>Dedue turned back to the flowers. I waited for a moment, but in the wake of his silence I decided I had gotten all of the words I was likely to get from him.</p>
<p>“Professor, wait.”</p>
<p>I stopped and turned back.</p>
<p>Dedue fixed me with a heavy stare. “His Highness is strong. But on the front lines, anything can happen. Losing him would be devastating for Faerghus. I hope the church--and you--understand that.”</p>
<p>“I promise I will look out for him,” I assured him. I did not point out that I was generally unable to take my eyes off the prince. I did not point out that I had almost failed at that exact task during the last mission.</p>
<p><i>Luckily, you have me,</i> Sothis burst in.</p>
<p><i>Do you have anything helpful to add?</i> I inquired. It was incredibly distracting when she interrupted conversations.</p>
<p>Sothis responded with silence, and it was answer enough.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he said with a nod. “And… to be completely candid… it pleases me to be able to speak with you like this. If you truly do not mind, I would be glad to converse with you in the future.”</p><hr/>
<p>The month wore on with lectures and sparring, each of the students gradually improving. I continued to bond with the Blue Lions, but there was a tension in the air as we all knew what lay on the horizon for Ashe.</p>
<p>Jeritza remained standoffish in the few interactions we had. But I did catch him outside the training grounds once, claiming he desired fresh air.</p>
<p>I ran into Flayn occasionally. She was a kind young girl, but it seemed that Seteth was extremely protective of her. In some ways, it reminded me of the way my father had been with me around the mercenaries.</p>
<p>Alois apparently viewed me as a long lost sibling, having been a squire to my father in his previous position. He was also particularly perturbed by the fact that my father appeared to have barely aged at all in the twenty years since he was last at the monastery.</p>
<p>My father was kept quite busy by the demands of his new position with the knights. He traveled frequently, and I was grateful for the rare chance that we had to share breakfast. It was strange, to have him so absent from my life suddenly. But I found that where I had once shut down in his absence, now I just looked forward to his return.</p>
<p>Sothis was around more and more, frequently keeping me up at night to talk about the events of the day.</p><hr/>
<p>We’d gotten the order to move out near the end of the month again. We traveled west from Garreg Mach, taking Magdred Way towards Castle Gaspard. We were taking a short break, Catherine, Ashe, Dimitri and I standing together. A thick fog hung in the air around us.</p>
<p>“I have to say… it’s a real honor to accompany such a brave and distinguished knight. None other than Catherine, wielder of Thunderbrand!” Dimitri said excitedly.</p>
<p>“Thunderbrand?” I asked.</p>
<p>“You mean you don’t know?” Catherine responded. “My weapon is called Thunderbrand.” She gestured to the greatsword at her hip. It had three layers of points that jutted out from the sides and faced the same direction as the blade. There was a large red stone in the center of the hilt.</p>
<p>“It’s one of the Heroes’ Relics,” she continued. “A long, long time ago, the goddess bestowed divine weapons upon ten heroes, which were passed down to their descendants. It’s an honor to wield, but I’m afraid there won’t be any chance of that today. Our mission is to help clean up the aftermath, not to fight.”</p>
<p>Ashe was staring at the ground as he interjected, “Why would Lonato incite such a reckless rebellion?”</p>
<p>Catherine looked at Ashe, her expression softer than I had seen it before. “You should know more than any of us, Ashe.”</p>
<p>Ashe shook his head. “Well, I don’t. Lonato never mentioned anything of the like to me.”</p>
<p>“He probably didn’t want you getting caught up in his own personal vendetta,” Dimitri responded, his tone gentle.</p>
<p>“What vendetta?” I asked. Rhea had mentioned that Lonato had been hostile towards the church for some time, but had neglected to provide any details.</p>
<p>Ashe frowned. “Lonato was always so kind. I don’t understand… I guess it has to do with Christophe.”</p>
<p>Catherine was quiet for a long moment before she asked, “How much do you know about the Tragedy of Duscur, Professor?”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s posture went rigid.</p>
<p>Ingrid had mentioned something about Duscur briefly. The murder of the king. The murder of Dimitri’s father. Dedue had indicated that I shouldn’t speak with him due to his origin. “I’ve heard of it, but I don’t know much about it,” I confessed.</p>
<p>“It’s when the king of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus was… was murdered by the people of Duscur. It happened about four years ago…” Catherine trailed off and looked to Dimitri.</p>
<p>His hands were clenched tightly into fists at his sides, but he wasn’t looking at Catherine as she spoke--he was looking at me. “It’s okay, Catherine. Please, go on.”</p>
<p>Catherine glanced between us, her gaze settling on me again. “Right. Well, Lord Lonato’s son, Christophe, was accused of being involved in that whole awful affair. He was executed by the church.”</p>
<p>“The church executes criminals?” I asked sharply.</p>
<p>“Speaking from the church’s perspective, we simply passed judgement according to our doctrine in place of the Kingdom, which was in complete chaos,” Catherine responded evenly.</p>
<p>I knew I should bite my tongue. I knew I shouldn’t ask, but I did anyway. Perhaps because I knew I wouldn’t dare ask Dimitri himself. “Why was the king targeted?” I asked quietly, as if I could keep the prince from hearing.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked away from me. I wished I could take the words back, but the truth was I wanted the answer more.</p>
<p>“King Lambert was attempting a major political reform. Needless to say, he had many enemies. Whatever the truth behind that incident may be, Lord Lonato has harbored resentment toward the church ever since,” Catherine responded with a frown. “Well… To be more specific, his grudge isn’t only against the church. It’s also against the one who turned Christophe over to them…”</p>
<p>Before she could go on, one of the church’s soldiers came sprinting up to us. “Report! The enemy is approaching! They can’t be avoided,” he blurted out. “Their numbers are far greater than we predicted. They used the fog to slip past the knights’ perimeter!”</p>
<p>Catherine looked at me, her expression now determined. “It looks like our mission just changed, Professor. Everyone, prepare for battle!”</p><hr/>
<p>“With this fog, it’s impossible to tell where the enemy might be… or how many of them there are,” Catherine lamented. “The enemy could be trying to surround us, but they shouldn’t have enough soldiers to form a tight circle. Take down anyone who breaks through the fog, and let’s push through!”</p>
<p>With that, she and the knights pushed ahead, leaving me alone with the Blue Lions. We’d done our best to gather into a defensive formation, but I felt blind. It was much harder to feel confident in giving commands to the students when I couldn't predict where our enemy might be--I couldn’t even get a good lay of the land with the mist.</p>
<p>“Shouting from within the fog… It seems the knights are already battling,” Dimitri said, his focus now on the battle at hand rather than the stories from his past that he couldn’t escape being told.</p>
<p>“Pair up,” I instructed the class. Just like they’d done in the mock battle, the students paired off. “This isn’t a mock battle, this isn’t bandits. We can’t even see where the enemy is in this fog. Do not separate from each other. Do not be reckless. Watch each others’ backs.”</p>
<p>We slowly started creeping through the trees when I heard a shout. I spun to see Dimitri blocking a sword with his lance. The enemy did not look like a trained soldier, nor a bandit. No, I realized with a surge of horror, these were civilians. This was a militia, and this would be a slaughter.</p>
<p>“Lord Lonato doesn’t deserve such sadness and anger… Now it’s your turn to suffer!” the man yelled.</p>
<p>As Dimitri cut down the man before him, I heard Ashe’s voice, “Why, Lonato? Why did you drag so many others into this?”</p>
<p>“Ashe, wait!” Mercedes cried.</p>
<p>But it was too late. I could hear him crashing through the trees.</p>
<p>“Dedue, stay with Mercedes,” Dimitri said, and it was a voice he rarely used. It was the voice of a prince, it was a command. And then he was moving alone through the fog, pursuing Ashe.</p>
<p>Dedue stiffened, but obeyed. As he brushed past me to stand by Mercedes, he gave me a look. “Remember your promise, Professor.”</p>
<p>“Stick together and <i>stay alive,</i>” I ordered, stressing the last words before tightening my grip on my sword and running in the direction Dimitri had gone.</p>
<p>If it weren’t for the fog, it would’ve been easier to find him. I was stuck chasing after the sound of metal clanging, which eventually drew me to him. As he brought his opponent to the ground, the man cried out, “You would think we’re just gonna do nothing while you try to kill our lord?” And then he was silenced.</p>
<p>As I got close, Dimitri’s lance was pulled from the man’s chest and the blade swung towards me. We locked eyes, his own slightly wild. The blow stopped just before landing as he realized the figure that emerged from the fog was me and not another enemy. Just as we had the day we’d met, we moved to stand back to back, shoulder to shoulder.</p>
<p>“Let’s find Ashe,” I said.</p>
<p>He only nodded. And so we moved through the fog together, dispatching militia as we went. Trying to make the kills quick and clean. We passed several downed enemies with arrows sticking out of them, letting us know we were on Ashe’s trail. The sounds of fighting could be heard around us, and I only hoped that the rest of the students were obeying my order to stay alive.</p>
<p>I didn’t know how long we moved through the trees together, but suddenly, the fog began to clear. “The fog must’ve been caused by magic,” Dimitri whispered in my ear.</p>
<p>Even on the battlefield, surrounded by enemies, the feel of his breath against the shell of my ear sent a jolt through me.</p>
<p><i>Look out!</i> Sothis suddenly cautioned me.</p>
<p>The fog clearing revealed a militia member hiding near us, and beyond them, I could make out a figure on horseback who must have been Lord Lonato. The militia member rushed Dimitri, only to be put down. </p>
<p>“Lord Lonato… Please, don’t die…” the dying man bit out.</p>
<p>“I am sorry… But did you really think you would get away with this?” Dimitri shot back, and I realized he was angry. He sounded furious.</p>
<p>As we neared Lonato, I realized the lord’s attention was elsewhere. A red light shot from the stone at the hilt of Catherine’s blade as she approached. When she drew her blade, the light spread along the length of it. And when she swung it through the first of Lonato’s guard, red light crackled in its wake. A Relic, they’d called it.</p>
<p>“It’s you…” Lonato said, his gaze still fixed on Catherine. “Thunderstrike Cassandra! It was your wretched zealotry that killed my son!”</p>
<p>She laughed. “The only name I answer to is Catherine. Prepare to taste the blade of one who serves the goddess. Now you face a Knight of Seiros!”</p>
<p>But as she prepared to approach, Ashe broke through the trees ahead of her, facing Lonato. Surprised flashed across the man’s haggard face.</p>
<p>“Stand down, Ashe,” he commanded. “I must destroy these evil-doers by any means necessary.”</p>
<p>“Please surrender, Lonato! Whatever your reason for doing this, we can still talk it out!” Ashe implored.</p>
<p>“Rhea is an infidel who has deceived the people and desecrated the goddess! We have virtue and the goddess herself on our side!” Lonato responded, rage creeping into his tone.</p>
<p>Ashe’s own tone turned desperate. “Even if all that’s true, dragging the townsfolk into it like this isn’t right!”</p>
<p>Before Lonato could respond, Catherine’s hand was on Ashe’s arm, dragging him back. She shot a meaningful glance at Dimitri and I as she did so. <i>Finish this,</i> I knew she was saying.</p>
<p>Dimitri knew it too, because he was raising his lance.</p>
<p>Lonato shook his head. “I apologize, Your Highness. It is regrettable that we should cross swords like this.”</p>
<p>“Lonato, I sympathize with your position. I really do,” Dimitri responded. “I have no wish to kill you, but I am afraid you have left me no choice. Please… forgive me.”</p>
<p>Lonato raised his sword. “Your Highness… I cannot stop here. For my child, and for the people of Fódlan. If you will not stand aside, then I have no choice but to cut you down.”</p>
<p>I was struck by the cruelty of the whole thing. I wanted to curse Rhea for sending Ashe and Dimitri here. I did the only thing I could think of. I surged forward, rushing past Dimitri to meet Lonato’s blade with my own. I parried his back and then moved to pierce his chest. Hot, sticky blood spilled out. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I did not want their hands stained with this.”</p>
<p>Something like understanding and gratitude flashed through his eyes. And then he was looking behind me, his gaze fixed on Catherine. “That vile woman… Christophe… Forgive me…” he breathed. And then he was gone.</p>
<p>“Lonato, I…” Ashe’s anguished voice sounded behind me.</p>
<p>I pulled my blade out from his adoptive father’s chest and turned. At some point, the rest of the class had caught up to us. I did not meet anyone’s gaze. The Ashen Demon, overcome with remorse. I had spared them from having to take the life themselves, but it did not change that I was now the one who had killed Lonato in front of them, in front of Ashe.</p>
<p>“I never thought I’d see Lonato meet this fate,” Catherine admitted quietly. “Well done, everyone. Let’s gather our troops and go.”</p><hr/>
<p>Ashe found Dimitri and I standing near the edge of the forest. I’d managed to find a stream where I was able to clean off some of the blood that covered me--most of it was Lonato’s. Dimitri hadn’t said a word to me, but he’d hovered near my side while I silently washed off what I could of the stain.</p>
<p>“Why… Why did this happen?” Ashe asked. He sounded defeated. I was surprised he could even speak to me after what I had done. “Lonato was always such a kind man…” His tone became frantic. “Everyone in the village was… Was so nice to me. And I… I killed them. I killed them all! I had to, I know I had to… I know that! But still… What does that make me?”</p>
<p>“Please, don’t beat yourself up, Ashe. We did what had to be done,” Dimitri said as soothingly as I imagined he could at the moment.</p>
<p>“I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be bothering you. I’m… I’m going to check on the town. I hope my brother and sister are okay.” And with that, Ashe turned on his heel and left Dimitri and I standing alone.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked at me and then at the ground. “That… that was my first time killing civilians too… Those who I’m sworn to protect.”</p>
<p>“That is the reality of war,” I said quietly. It wasn’t my first time killing militia. I’d known the moment they showed up that it was going to be a slaughter.</p>
<p>He lifted his chin and fixed me with a glare. “Are you insane?!” He shot out and his hands were clenched into fists. “Those weren’t knights or soldiers, but fathers and sons! We… we shouldn’t have killed them. We should have found another way…” He turned his face away from me. “I… I’m sorry. It’s not fair for me to blame you for the circumstance. I know that if we hadn’t… done what we did, even more civilian lives would have been lost. At least, my mind understands that. But… my heart…”</p>
<p>He let out an audible, shaky breath and finally met my gaze with his own. “Professor… Those in power, no matter the era, always claim they fight for a just cause. That they take life to protect it. But… is it truly okay to take any life you please, all in service of some implacable ‘just cause’? Lord Lonato didn’t take up arms out of a lust for power. He simply believed his cause to be just. Who’s to say it wasn’t? I know why you did what you did, and to be honest, I am grateful. But maybe we didn’t have to cut him down like that. Maybe we could have reached a mutual understanding… found a path of peace. I… I have to believe that. Perhaps the notion sounds laughable to you. Mere lip service to naïve ideals. But I can’t believe otherwise.”</p>
<p>I’d always believed that once someone had the resolve to take up a blade in service of their cause, nothing but the taste of another blade could sway them. I’d always believed that killing was the only path. But when I thought of my own blade piercing through Lonato’s chest and his blood pouring over my hands, I wondered if maybe Dimitri was right. I wondered if maybe there was another way, if I could be another way.</p>
<p>Catherine’s appearance interrupted my thoughts. “Sorry to intrude, but this incident may be more serious than anticipated.” She held up a sealed scroll. “I found this on Lord Lonato. It’s a note that mentions a plan to assassinate Lady Rhea. We can’t tell who sent it, so the source is suspect, but the content is too disturbing to ignore. We must report this to Lady Rhea right away. I hope it’s nothing…”</p><hr/>
<p>“I am glad to see that you have returned safely. The goddess is gracious with her divine protection,” Rhea said as I stood before her and Seteth in the audience chamber. “But it was not only her divine protection that shielded you, was it? You are just as skilled as I had hoped.”</p>
<p>“My students deserve the praise,” I said delicately. The words tasted bitter on my tongue. Part of me wanted to tear her throat out with my bare hands for what she’d put them through.</p>
<p>“I am not so sure. I heard some of the students were… hesitant about fighting militia.” She gave me a small, knowing smile that made my skin crawl. “However, we must punish any sinner who may inflict harm upon believers, even if those sinners are civilians. I pray the students learned a valuable lesson about the fate that awaits all who are foolish enough to point their blades towards the heavens.”</p>
<p>If Rhea represented the heavens, I wanted to point my blade at her too. But I could not. <i>Stay on your guard.</i></p>
<p>Seteth fixed me with a serious stare. I hoped he could not read my thoughts. “Our real concern is what Catherine reported. The secret message that was in Lord Lonato’s possession. It contained a deplorable plot to target the archbishop on the day of the Goddess’ Rite of Rebirth. The plan seems unrealistic at best… But a threat is a threat. We must maintain constant vigilance. To that end, I would like for you and your students to help with security on the day of the ritual.”</p>
<p>“Won’t that endanger the students?” I asked sharply.</p>
<p>“Even if you encounter an enemy whom they cannot best, they should be fine so long as they have you on their side,” Rhea responded dismissively.</p>
<p>“The Rite of Rebirth is of paramount importance. It is when the Church of Seiros and its believers unite to pray for the return of the goddess. The archbishop and I will be confined to the Goddess Tower once the ritual begins,” Seteth continued. “Of course, the knights will be on high alert as well, but there aren’t enough of them to keep watch on every corner of the monastery. It is far from ideal to be forced to mobilize students, but the gravity of this situation requires that we all bend to avoid breaking.”</p>
<p>“While there is no need to fear for my safety, we cannot turn a blind eye to those who would blaspheme so heinously,” Rhea added.</p>
<p>“With any luck, this will all be for naught. Still, be on your guard,” Seteth said, dismissing me.</p>
<p>The irony was not lost on me as he echoed my father’s words. <i>Don’t let your guard down. Ever.</i></p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>The news of Lonato’s rebellion had been troubling at best. Nothing about it made sense. It had been four years since that day, and there was nothing that explained what could have set the lord off to suddenly raise an army.</p>
<p>There had been many rebellions after his father’s murder, and it hadn’t been until the one two years ago that he had been able to do anything about it. Forced to leave the throne to his uncle Rufus as king regent, he was rendered powerless by age. Not that he didn’t have his own reasons for being at the Officers Academy at the moment.</p>
<p>But none of it made sense when it came to Lonato. And then there was the matter of Ashe. He’d missed their lecture the day after the news broke, which was unusual for the earnest young man, although Dimitri was not exactly surprised.</p>
<p>He had been surprised though to see the professor excuse herself immediately after the lecture and not make for the dining hall or the training grounds, but instead she ended up in the cathedral, sitting in a pew next to Ashe.</p>
<p>Dimitri had invited her to join him for dinner afterward. He’d been prepared with a plethora of excuses or reasons to justify it, but she’d readily agreed and eagerly torn into a plate of pheasant roast when they arrived in the dining hall. Her table manners were about what could be expected from a mercenary, but he had to admit that he actually found it refreshing.</p>
<p>But even his eyebrows rose when he watched her rip off a few pieces of the roasted bird and wrap them up in her napkin. “A snack for later, Professor?” he asked, unable to contain his curiosity.</p>
<p>She looked up from her napkin and shook her head. “Come with me,” she said, rising from the table and motioning for him to follow.</p>
<p>He let her lead him out of the dining hall and to a stack of crates near the greenhouse. She stopped and turned back to him, holding a finger to her lips. He nodded.</p>
<p>Satisfied with his response, she turned back toward the crates and crouched down. She set the napkin on the ground and unfolded it. And Dimitri watched as a small black and white cat poked its head out from the crates and walked up to the scraps of meat.</p>
<p>In that moment, he realized that he was seeing a side of her that was kind. She had sought out Ashe because she was kind. And she was feeding this cat because despite the blank mask she hid behind, despite the walls she had built up around herself, she was warm and gentle. If she fancied herself a weapon, he wondered if perhaps she was a more delicate weapon than she thought.</p><hr/>
<p>He should have been prepared for Cassandra--or Catherine, as she was now known, to bring up the Tragedy. It followed him everywhere, and it only made sense that it would follow him here, where Lonato was no doubt motivated by Christophe’s execution.</p>
<p>He’d almost hoped his professor hadn’t heard of it, would never learn of it. To have one thing in his life that had not been tainted by that day. But he knew that was impossible, because whether she knew about it or not, <i>he</i> had been forever tainted by that day.</p>
<p>Dimitri wasn’t even entirely convinced that Christophe had been involved in the Tragedy, just as he knew the people of Duscur were not to blame. He’d been there, seen the swine who had done it, felt the axe in his back that had nearly taken his own life. He still wished it had, but as the survivor of it, he had his duty. And in all of the research he’d done, there was no reason that made sense for Christophe to commit regicide.</p>
<p>“Why was the king targeted?” the professor asked, her voice quieter than he’d heard before. But still loud enough for him to hear.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter why. There was no possible reason that could justify what had been done to him and his family. He dropped his gaze to the ground, trying to avoid looking at his father who stood watching the exchange.</p>
<p>“King Lambert was attempting a major political reform. Needless to say, he had many enemies. Whatever the truth behind that incident may be, Lord Lonato has harbored resentment toward the church ever since,” Catherine responded.</p>
<p>He hadn’t understood it when he was younger, but he understood it now. His father had been trying to make the world a better place, and regardless of what Catherine claimed, his father had been beloved by the people of Faerghus. He hadn’t tracked down the truth yet himself, but he would. And when he did, he would make those responsible pay.</p>
<p>Catherine continued, “Well… To be more specific, his grudge isn’t only against the church. It’s also against the one who turned Christophe over to them…”</p>
<p>It had been Cassandra herself who had turned Christophe over. She had then fled House Charon and taken up refuge with the church, taking on the name Catherine. Dimitri hadn’t yet had the chance to question her about it.</p>
<p>The professor’s stony expression never changed as she listened. He didn’t know what he had expected.</p>
<p>His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of one of the church’s soldiers. It seemed that battle had found them.</p><hr/>
<p>Ashe had run off into the fog. Dimitri had run after him. This was, after all, really his duty to deal with as the prince of the Kingdom. If he had been old enough to assume the throne, he would have been the one dealing with this rebellion instead of the church--even if Lonato’s enemy was the church, and not him.</p>
<p>Even as he empathized with the lord though, he found himself furious as he cut down the man before him. A civilian. A senseless slaughter. Lonato had known that it was a futile fight, and he had still mobilized his own people to take up arms in his name. To lose their lives, to take loved ones from their families.</p>
<p>He was so angry that he had swung without thinking as a figure emerged from the mist behind him, only to freeze as he recognized the beautiful features of the professor. She hadn’t even raised her own blade to block him.</p>
<p>They fell into place back to back as they made their way through the fog, attempting to find Ashe. He’d seen her split her foes open with her blade before, but now as they fought, her strikes were precise, aimed to kill quickly.</p>
<p>The fog suddenly began to dissipate. “The fog must’ve been caused by magic,” he whispered to the woman at his back. And even in the thick of carnage, he was aware of how close his lips were to her ear.</p>
<p>He was not so distracted this time that he did not notice the enemy who rushed him as the fog cleared.</p>
<p>“Lord Lonato… Please, don’t die…” the man cried as he died on Dimitri’s lance.</p>
<p>He felt his grip tighten on his lance. He willed himself to relax, to not snap the lance in two in his fury. He felt for Lonato, but he could not forgive this senseless violence. And he would do his duty and put down the lord.</p><hr/>
<p>Catherine had taken Ashe away, leaving Dimitri and the professor facing Lonato. He raised his lance, preparing to carry out his duty as prince.</p>
<p>“I apologize, Your Highness. It is regrettable that we should cross swords like this,” Lonato said.</p>
<p>He’d been a good noble in the Kingdom, distinguished himself with service to his uncle. “Lonato, I sympathize with your position. I really do. I have no wish to kill you, but I am afraid you have left me no choice. Please… forgive me.”</p>
<p>The lord raised his sword in response. “Your Highness… I cannot stop here. For my child, and for the people of Fódlan. If you will not stand aside, then I have no choice but to cut you down.”</p>
<p>Before Dimitri could strike, his professor had moved, rushing past him and meeting Lonato’s blade herself. He watched as she parried the man’s blow back and then plunged her blade into his exposed chest, blood pouring onto her. He watched her lips move as she whispered something, and then Lonato’s expression softened for just a second before he focused on Catherine, cursing her with his last words.</p>
<p>As the professor drew her blade from the dead man’s chest, Dimitri was surprised to see her gaze fixed on the ground. While he hovered by her as she washed the blood off in a stream, he thought about what he had seen. The quick, clean kills she had made through the militia. She had only moved in to fight Lonato once he had prepared to strike. And it dawned on him, just like she had sought Ashe to offer him comfort, just like she had saved scraps of her dinner for the cat, she had killed Lonato because she was kind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Goddess' Rite of Rebirth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions investigate the alleged plot to assassinate Lady Rhea and enter the Holy Mausoleum.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>I'll aim to have the next chapter up within a week (Friday nights are seeming like my usual posting time)! Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>“So, our task for this moon is to patrol and guard the monastery, to help put a stop to that assassination plot,” Dimitri contemplated as we stood gathered with the rest of the class in the reception hall. “The knights will certainly have their hands full protecting Lady Rhea. Perhaps our enemy is counting on that…”</p>
<p>I considered a moment and then nodded. “I agree.”</p>
<p>Dimitri gave me a small, pleased smile.</p>
<p>Dedue looked between the two of us. “Please, elaborate.”</p>
<p>“Why would Lord Lonato be carrying around a secret note with an assassination plot written on it? Isn’t it possible he hoped to monopolize everyone’s attention with this alleged plot… in order to distract from his true aim?” Dimitri challenged, looking around at the rest of the group as he let his words sink in.</p>
<p>“Maybe they’re after the treasure vault,” Annette said. “There’s also lots of valuable stuff in the library and Professor Hanneman’s quarters!”</p>
<p><i>Like my hair,</i> I thought unhappily.</p>
<p>“True,” Felix said with a nod, snapping me from my thoughts. “The monastery undoubtedly houses many weapons that rival even the Heroes’ Relics.”</p>
<p>Sylvain flashed a gallant smile. “Whatever their aim, we can’t allow any harm to come to the ladies of the monastery. I mean, what would I do with my spare time?”</p>
<p>“You mean to say we should search the monastery. Try to find what the enemy is truly after,” Dedue said.</p>
<p>Dimitri nodded. “Yes. And we should be prepared to fight them as well, should it come to that.” He glanced at me. “I wouldn’t mind getting in some training, just in case.”</p>
<p>“A secret meeting, Professor?” An unfamiliar voice interrupted. I looked over to see a woman approaching, flanked by a boy. The woman had short black hair that fell to her chin and calculating purple eyes. The boy looked young. He had golden-brown skin, amber eyes, and short, messy, dark-brown hair.</p>
<p>“Oh, we haven’t been introduced. I am Shamir,” the woman continued.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked at me. “Shamir is one of the Knights of Seiros. And this young man here is--"</p>
<p>“I work for Lady Rhea! And I’m Shamir’s apprentice. Oh, the name’s Cyril,” the boy chimed in.</p>
<p>“You work for Rhea?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Yep. I help Lady Rhea with all kinds of stuff. I’ve gotta protect Lady Rhea, so that’s why I’ve gotta learn all I can from Shamir,” he responded with a smile.</p>
<p>I wondered if they hadn’t seen the menacing, terrifying pieces of her or if they just weren’t bothered by it.</p>
<p>“Cyril adores Rhea. That aside, if you need anything, ask,” Shamir said.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was surprised to hear a knock on my door that evening. Nobody had ever knocked on my door. I was even more surprised to open it and find Ashe standing on the threshold. He’d come back with us from Castle Gaspard, but he had been largely silent since then. I didn’t blame him--I was shocked that he could even still look at me.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Professor. I know this isn’t the time, but… I can’t stop thinking about Lonato. Could we talk?” he asked nervously.</p>
<p>I nodded and stepped out of the room.</p>
<p>Ashe led me over to a bench in the grassy area across from the dormitory rooms. “I… I want you to know that I don’t blame you,” he said quietly as he sat.</p>
<p>His words were enough to convince me to sit next to him. “I’m sorry, Ashe.”</p>
<p>“If it weren’t you, it would’ve been someone else.”</p>
<p>I nodded. I had tried to make it quick, at least. I couldn’t begin to understand Lonato’s motivations, but I wished he had thought about Ashe before he threw his life away.</p>
<p>“I checked on my brother and sister who were living in Castle Gaspard. Thankfully, they’re alright. I was worried because they’re both so young, but the church in the castle town offered to take them in. That much, at least, is a big relief.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad they’re alright.”</p>
<p>Ashe was looking at the sky as he spoke, “A long time ago, I was a thief. My parents died of illness, so I had to provide for my little brother and sister. I did my best to earn money for them legitimately, but I wasn’t able to bring enough home. So I turned to thieving. From people on the streets. From shops. Even from soldiers. I knew it was wrong, but seeing my brother and sister’s smiling faces made me too happy to stop.”</p>
<p>“I can’t imagine what that must have been like,” I admitted. My life had not been luxurious by any means, but I had never wanted for anything. Our mercenary work brought in plenty of gold, and my father had always made sure that my needs were seen to.</p>
<p>Ashe smiled sadly. “I really regret that part of my life. I was stupid. But shortly after I turned nine, I crept into a local noble’s mansion, aiming to steal whatever I could get my hands on. The noble had all sorts of valuables, but what really caught my eye was a book with a fancy cover. That book was Loog and the Maiden of Wind. It’s about the King of Lions who first won the Kingdom’s independence from the Empire four-hundred years ago. It’s a well-known tale of chivalry in Faerghus. But the knight in the illustrations was so impressive, I just couldn’t tear my eyes away.”</p>
<p>“You stole it because you liked the cover?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Well, that was part of it. But certain books are also really valuable, you know.” He finally turned his gaze to me. “You probably see where this is going. Moments after I grabbed the book, I was caught in the act by the noble. And that noble was none other than Lonato. But Lonato was incredibly kind. Without asking any questions, he gave me the book--and money too. When I told him I couldn’t read, he invited me into his mansion, along with my brother and sister. He taught me how to read, personally.”</p>
<p>And I had killed him. A good, kind person who had taken Ashe in after he caught him thieving. “He sounds like he was a good man,” I said sadly.</p>
<p>Ashe nodded. “He was. I want to be like him. So I’ll remain here, to try and fulfill my dream of becoming a knight. To be like Lonato. No matter what happens, I promise you I’ll do my part.”</p>
<p>“If there’s anything I can do, Ashe, please let me know.”</p>
<p>“I will.” He rose from the bench. “Thank you, Professor.”</p>
<p>Back in the privacy of my room, I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. Lonato had been a good person, and he had died at my hands. I really was a demon.</p>
<p><i>You’re not a demon, Byleth,</i> Sothis said gently.</p>
<p>I didn’t have the energy to argue with her, but I hadn’t seen any evidence to the contrary.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Security had tightened drastically around the monastery since the news of the assassination plan broke. It seemed that the other classes would also be patrolling with the knights on the day of the Rite, according to both Claude and Edelgard.</p>
<p>Dimitri and I were still not convinced that Rhea was the true goal, so we busied ourselves during our spare time with wandering the monastery together, talking to anyone we came across in our search for a lead.</p>
<p>During our investigating, we did come across several rumors of a knight wielding a scythe or of death itself showing up in town, but it certainly wasn’t anything that pointed to an objective.</p>
<p>The more we investigated, the less it made sense. Security seemed like it would be far tighter on the day of the Rite, even without our advanced knowledge of the plot. Sylvain himself had been the one to point that out, while lamenting that his day of courting ladies during the festival would be ruined by our having to guard the monastery.</p>
<p>Through our investigation, I did learn a little more about the beliefs of the church. Followers believed that the goddess lived on the Blue Sea Star. The star in question was not visible during the spring, returning to visibility in the sky on the day of the Rite of Rebirth.</p>
<p>I’d started to give up hope that we would find anything useful when we had stumbled upon a lead. The Holy Mausoleum, below the cathedral, was said to house the tomb of Saint Seiros herself, slumbering eternally, sealed with powerful magic to ward away grave robbers. The Holy Mausoleum was usually locked up tight, but would be open to the public on the day of the Rite. It didn’t give us an objective, but it was the only thing that made sense for why such a day would be the target. With that in mind, all that was left was for us to wait.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“The Goddess’ Rite of Rebirth is finally here. Let’s move ahead with our plan,” Dimitri said confidently as we stood gathered in the cathedral.</p>
<p>“Leave it to me,” Dedue nodded and then turned to me. “Professor, are you in as well?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” I said with a nod.</p>
<p>“We’ve narrowed down their objective… kind of. So, let’s show everyone that we can carry out our duties better than anyone!” Ingrid said with a smile.</p>
<p>Dimitri bowed his head to me. “We’re counting on, Professor.”</p>
<p>Annette held out a bundle of small bags in her hands. “I thought we might get hungry during our patrol, so I baked up some yummy treats for us. I may have messed them up though… just a bit.”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “Annette… Don’t tell me that explosion in the kitchen last night was--"</p>
<p>We were interrupted as Seteth approached, flanked by Flayn. “You seem a mite too relaxed for my liking. The Goddess’ Rite of Rebirth is about to begin,” he said with his usual disapproval. “While we are in the Goddess Tower, we are relying on you to secure the locations that are lacking in defense.”</p>
<p>Flayn shook her head with a smile on her face. “May I let you in on something, Professor? My brother can be a bit… callous.” Seteth glanced at her, but she continued. “He told me that he was concerned about you, and hinted that perhaps you would be better off patrolling a coffin!” She finished with a giggle.</p>
<p>Seteth looked at Flayn, clearly flustered--an expression I hadn’t known he was capable of. “That was said in jest, Flayn. And in confidence. Please just remain by my side and do not cause any more trouble.” He looked back at me, seemingly unable to end a conversation without reprimanding me in some way. “As a professor, you would do well to remember that it is your duty to guide your students down the path of righteousness.”</p>
<p>Flayn gave a nod to the group. “Please excuse us, everyone. We shall see you again after the ceremony has concluded!”</p>
<p>After they left, Dedue looked between Dimitri and I. “It’s time.”</p>
<p>Dimitri nodded. “Alright. Let’s stick to the plan, and go hide where we can watch over the entrance to the Holy Mausoleum. If anyone suspicious enters, we’ll follow them in and take them down. Got it?”</p>
<hr/>
<p>We took shifts watching the entrance, making sure to be seen patrolling the rest of the grounds as well. The cookies that Annette had made were good, despite her warning of having messed them up. I had finished the entire bag quickly and started on Dimitri’s own bag of cookies when he offered it to me.</p>
<p>It was Annette’s turn to watch when she came running up to Dimitri and I, her face flushed. “A group entered the Holy Mausoleum! We need to go!”</p>
<p>We gathered quickly and rushed over, sneaking in through the open door.</p>
<p>“It is as we suspected. The enemy is within,” Dimitri said, looking back at me.</p>
<p>The Holy Mausoleum was a massive underground chamber with large pillars on either side leading to a dais centered against the back wall. Atop the dais was a large casket, and a mage with a mask like a raven’s beak stood before the casket. His voice was echoing through the chamber. “Those Central Church dastards have spotted us… Buy me some time while I open the seal on the casket!”</p>
<p>Dimitri frowned back at us as the words sank in. “The enemy is after the casket of Saint Seiros. Do they intend to steal her bones? We must defeat them before that happens!”</p>
<p>And so we split up, commands becoming less and less necessary as the class trained and battled together. We were partway through the room, dispatching enemies as we went when the mage called out as he worked on the casket. “Death Knight! Prove your strength and scatter these fools!”</p>
<p>A new figure emerged from a group of enemies near the center of the room in response to the order. There had been rumors of a scythe wielding knight in town, and now, he was before us in the Holy Mausoleum. He wore a massive set of spiked black armor, and atop his head was a full-face helmet in the shape of a skull with menacing fangs and two large horns that jutted out from the top. “I don’t take orders. Or waste my time on weaklings,” the knight said in a deep rumble.</p>
<p>The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. The pressure in the room seemed to have increased since he had come into view.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked at me from where we were guarding each other’s backs. We hadn’t discussed it, but somehow it had felt natural to fall into place together. “That knight looks like he has experience. It would be foolish to challenge him recklessly,” he cautioned me.</p>
<p>I agreed with him. I had very rarely experienced fear in my life, and never before on the battlefield, never for myself. But I realized that it was fear that was locking itself around my heart like a vice, making it hard to breathe as I met the glowing red eyes behind the skull-shaped helmet with my own gaze.</p>
<p>The knight leveled his scythe at me. “I am merely here to observe. If you do not engage me, I will not chase you. But if you wish to die… Then come at me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what his aim is, but I suggest we take this stroke of luck for what it is,” Dimitri urged me again, and we continued making our way towards the dais that housed the casket.</p>
<p>The class was doing a good job dispatching the other intruders. As Dimitri and I neared the platform, the mage taunted us. “You’re too late! The seal will be broken any minute now.”</p>
<p>The foe guarding the mage as he worked rushed at us but Dimitri caught his blow with his lance. “Go, Professor!”</p>
<p>I nodded, abandoning my place at Dimitri’s side to rush towards the mage. But he was already sliding the lid off. “It’s no use! The seal is broken. You can’t--" He cut himself off as he peered into the casket. “Huh? A sword?”</p>
<p>The mage reached in and removed the weapon. The moment my eyes settled on the blade, it was as if I’d seen it before. My breath caught in my throat as something in my chest pulled me towards the sword, something about it calling out to some fundamental part of myself. The mage turned towards me, the newly discovered weapon in his hands.</p>
<p>I rushed forward, swinging my own blade with enough force to strike the sword in his hands and send it flying up into the air. As it spun and fell back towards us, I reached up with my free hand and caught it by the hilt. The sword was huge, almost as tall as I was with the hilt alone the length of my forearm, but for some reason it did not feel heavy in my hand.</p>
<p>Panicked, the mage brought his hands together, sparks and flames flaring to life between his palms. As the fireball flew towards me, I swung with the sword from the casket, and as it met the magic coming towards me, the fireball dissipated and an unearthly, red glow sprang to life in the blade.</p>
<p>The mage gasped. “What?!”</p>
<p>I studied the new blade in my hand for a moment. One edge of it was serrated, and it almost looked as if it were crafted from the bones of some massive beast, the blade segmented like the vertebrae of a spinal column. I dropped the sword I’d entered with and gripped the hilt with two hands and parried a second fireball that was now flying towards me.</p>
<p>The mage dropped his hands and stepped backwards, but he backed into the casket behind him. Like a cornered rat. With nowhere to go and his attacks proving useless, he held his hands before him and conjured a barrier.</p>
<p>I rushed forward, slamming the sword against the barrier. It held for a moment as energy crackled between the magic and the blade. And then like glass shattering, it broke. I swung again, a diagonal cut slicing the man up from his hip to his shoulder and he collapsed before me.</p>
<p>I looked down at the glowing blade again. The crossguard was like the spread wings of a dragon, and in the center of the crossguard was a circular hole, as if something had once rested there.</p>
<p>“That sword is… I see. What a pleasant surprise,” a deep voice growled. I whirled to see the Death Knight behind me and Dimitri standing between us with his lance raised. But before either of them could move further, the Death Knight vanished in a flash of red light.</p>
<p>“He got away…” Dimitri said, shaking his head. “We have no choice but to let them go for now.” He lowered his lance and turned to stare at the sword in my hands and his eyes widened. “Professor… The way that sword is glowing. I wonder…”</p>
<p>Before he could finish his thought, frantic footsteps sounded and Catherine entered the chamber flanked by several knights. “Is the intruder here?!” she yelled. “Oh… Looks like you have this under control.”</p>
<p>She gestured to the knights flanking her. “You! Round up any stragglers.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Back in the cathedral, Rhea stood flanked by Shamir and Seteth with the captured intruders before them. Dimitri and I stood back by the entrance to the Holy Mausoleum, watching in silence. Seteth had seized the sword from me the moment he’d seen us.</p>
<p>“As all of you committed a breach of faith, the archbishop will now pass judgement,” Seteth said to the intruders.</p>
<p>Shamir began to list the charges. “Inciting a Kingdom noble to rebel. Unlawful entry. The attempted assassination of the archbishop. An attack on the Holy Mausoleum. It is unnecessary to go on, followers of the Western Church.”</p>
<p>“What?! We have nothing to do with the Western Church!” One of them protested.</p>
<p>Seteth shook his head. “You have already been identified. Please spare us your second-rate theater.”</p>
<p>When Rhea spoke next, it was in the menacing tone that sent chills crawling across my skin. “Dishonoring a holy ceremony is worthy of death for a member of the church. You are well past the hope of redemption. If you have any grace remaining, you will willingly offer your life as atonement for this crime.”</p>
<p>“No! This isn’t what we were told would happen! We’ve been deceived!” Another of the intruders cried out.</p>
<p>“It’s no use arguing,” Shamir silenced him sharply. “Whatever your excuse, the punishment stands.”</p>
<p>“May your souls find peace as they return to the goddess…” Rhea intoned, clasping her hands together in a prayer. Pretty words for a death sentence.</p>
<p>“Wait! Please! The goddess would never forgive you for our execution!” Someone begged.</p>
<p>“Monster! We know you’ve already slaughtered many of our fellow brethren like this!” Another yelled.</p>
<p>Rhea smiled at them. She actually smiled as she ordered their deaths. “This concludes the investigation. Please remove these poor, lost souls from my sight.”</p>
<p>I caught Dimitri’s eyes, but neither of us said a word. I wondered if he felt the same creeping fear as I did. And the same suspicion that if either of us said a word in front of Rhea, that it could be us next.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Neither Dimitri or I had spoken again until we were gathered in the classroom with the rest of the Blue Lions. “There you have it…” he said as he explained to the rest of the class, conveniently leaving out the details of the way Rhea had ordered the execution herself. “It seems the assassination attempt and the attack on the Holy Mausoleum were all the work of the Western Church. As for the masked knight who led the attack… I’m afraid his whereabouts are yet unknown.”</p>
<p>The masked knight that even I had feared to face, and Dimitri had placed himself before him in order to protect me.</p>
<p>Dedue shook his head, a troubled look on his face. “It makes no sense that the Western Church would try such a thing.”</p>
<p>Dimitri considered his words for a moment. “It just goes to show that the Church of Seiros is not completely united. The church is led by those here in Garreg Mach, and the Western Church doesn’t have a strong voice on its governing council. I imagine the Western Church has harbored some resentment toward the Central Church for a while now.”</p>
<p>“The Western Church..?” I asked hesitantly.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked over at me. “Ah, that’s right. Jeralt did say that you grew up outside the influence of the church. The Church of Seiros is split into a few branches across Fódlan. The largest being the Central Church, which is headquartered right here at Garreg Mach. The Western Church lies far to the west of Castle Gaspard, where Lord Lonato held his rebellion. It is situated on the far side of the Kingdom’s most impressive fortress, Arianrhod. I imagine the Western Church’s intention was to eliminate Lady Rhea, and the Central Church’s authority along with her. Naturally, the knights will be riding out to question the Western Church’s top officials. Or rather… to punish them.” Something flashed in his eyes as he said the last words and I was certain that he was thinking of Rhea ordering the executions just like I was.</p>
<p>“When they do, Your Highness, we will likely be asked to carry out said punishment,” Dedue said.</p>
<p>“Indeed,” Dimitri responded darkly. Then he turned back to me. “Now, I don’t mean to be rude, Professor, but I must say your situation is rather unusual. For someone to grow up in Fódlan and yet never have any contact with the Church of Seiros is… it’s hard to believe.”</p>
<p>Dedue was studying me as he added, “I wonder why the archbishop would hire someone like that as a professor…”</p>
<p>I’d been wondering the same thing since I was hired on, and so had Jeralt.</p>
<p>Ashe shifted uncomfortably. “So… those people from the Western Church were… Um, Lady Rhea had them killed, didn’t she?”</p>
<p>My stomach turned. Dimitri had been careful to leave those exact details out, but it seemed that everyone knew what kind of justice Rhea would demand. And if I was being honest, they probably deserved it for the way they had used Lonato, but the way it had been ordered still didn’t sit well with me.</p>
<p>“Well, of course she did,” Mercedes said, ever the faithful. “Going against the teachings of Seiros like that. Quite unforgivable!”</p>
<p>Ingrid did not look convinced. “Those who stray must be punished, I suppose. That said… Professor, I--”</p>
<p>“There you are, Professor.” Seteth’s arrival cut her off. I hoped that he had not heard any of the conversation up to that point. “It seems Lady Rhea would like a word with you. Come with me.”</p>
<p>Before I departed, Dimitri called after me, “Professor, if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind meeting me at the training ground when you’re finished?”</p>
<p>I nodded and then followed Seteth out of the classroom.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Seteth led me to Rhea’s audience chamber. Rhea was standing clutching the sword from the casket in her hands. Seteth deposited me in front of her and moved to her side.</p>
<p>“I cannot thank you enough for defeating those invaders in the Holy Mausoleum, and especially for protecting the Sword of the Creator. That sword is one of the Heroes’ Relics, and the most precious artifact in the church’s possession. It is also a weapon of terrifying power.” She held it out to me. “For now… I will entrust the sword to you. Please, use it wisely.”</p>
<p>My hands were shaking as I took the blade.</p>
<p>“Lady Rhea, wait! Do you truly mean to give the Sword of the Creator to this stranger?!” Seteth demanded, protesting even as I took the weapon. “Surely it is not the sort of thing that one hands over so readily, even to someone who has the ability to wield it! If someone like Nemesis were to appear again, all of Fódlan would be consumed by war!”</p>
<p>The name sounded familiar. I could have sworn I’d heard it before, but it was out of my reach, like the way a dream fades upon waking. “Nemesis?” I asked.</p>
<p>Seteth fixed me with a sharp look. “Nemesis, the King of Liberation. He is an ancient king of mankind who was defeated by Seiros over a thousand years ago. When Fódlan was attacked by wicked gods, it is said that the goddess gifted Nemesis with the Sword of the Creator. Nemesis used that sword to defeat the wicked gods, saving all of Fódlan. Henceforth, he was dubbed the King of Liberation. However, his power began to corrupt him until he, himself, turned to the darkness. Saint Seiros was forced to destroy him.” He turned back to Rhea. “Lady Rhea, I beg you to reconsider. Given a little more time, we could more accurately assess this stranger’s abilities.”</p>
<p>I wanted to remind him that I was standing right there, but Rhea was speaking already. “No, I have faith, Seteth. Faith that our friend here will not be corrupted by wickedness. Since the death of Nemesis, none have been able to wield the Sword of the Creator. Now, after all those long years of being sealed away, it has returned and found a new master.”</p>
<p>Seteth grit his teeth. “I… understand. As you wish, Lady Rhea.” He turned back to me. “There you have it, Professor. See that you do not betray the trust the archbishop has seen fit to bestow upon you.”</p>
<p>Clearly dismissed, I turned and left. I knew that I was being gifted something powerful, and extended a great deal of trust, but somehow I felt like I was in more danger than when I was on the battlefield.</p>
<p>Sothis seemed to agree with me as she spoke, <i>The Sword of the Creator. The King of Liberation. Each tale is more confusing than the last! And I really can’t read that Rhea at all… That sword is clearly precious… So why is she so keen to gift the thing to you?</i></p>
<p><i>The sword chose me,</i> I responded, thinking of the way it called out to me.</p>
<p><i>Is that a fact?</i> Sothis asked. <i>I feel as though we have become entangled in a mystery. And there is one more thing that has been plaguing me. The Sword of the Creator… It somehow feels distinct from other Relics we have seen. Such as the one that… Oh goodness, what was her name? Ca… Cat…</i></p>
<p><i>Catherine?</i> I supplied.</p>
<p><i>Yes! Her! The Sword of the Creator is different from her Thunderbrand in one key way. It bears a hole… where something should have been, but is no more. I despise not knowing what is going on! It… It frightens me,</i> she confessed. <i>And yet… I place my trust in you. I must. Whatever comes to pass… please swear to cut a path that is your own.</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri was, true to his word, waiting for me at the training ground. “Ah, Professor! I’m glad you came.” His gaze fell on the Sword of the Creator at my hip. “I thought Seteth took the sword?”</p>
<p>“Rhea entrusted it to me,” I responded simply. Seteth certainly hadn’t been happy about the decision.</p>
<p>He was quiet for a moment and then he raised his eyes to meet mind. “If you don’t mind, I have a favor I’d like to ask of you.”</p>
<p>“What’s the favor?”</p>
<p>“It’s in regard to sword training,” he confessed. “Not for myself, but… Well… To be honest, I’ve been teaching swordsmanship to the orphans at the monastery for a while now.”</p>
<p>I blinked. “How unexpected,” I finally responded. And it was unexpected, but I found the thought pleasing.</p>
<p>“I must agree. Frankly, I’m not great with children.” He smiled sheepishly. “Some of them saw me sparring with the knights one day. They started pestering me to teach them. They were so earnest… I couldn’t help but oblige. There’s much I wish to show them, but due to my own studies and training, I’m afraid my time is rather limited. Which brings me to my favor. Your swordsmanship is unmatched. I hate to ask this of you, but… Would you consider lending me a hand?”</p>
<p>“You can count on me,” I said earnestly, hoping my words could convey a fraction of how honored I felt that he’d ask such a thing of me.</p>
<p>“Thank you, truly. I am in your debt. And I always repay my debts, I’ll have you know,” he said gratefully. “All of these children lost their families and homes to war or illness. This may sound a bit arrogant, but… I feel it’s my responsibility to help them. I lost my parents without warning too. In that way, we’re the same. In Duscur, I lost my father, stepmother, and closest friends. I didn’t have many allies at the castle after that. In truth, I had only Dedue for companionship.”</p>
<p>I thought of my father’s words again. <i>Stay on your guard.</i> It felt suddenly lonely, the walls that I’d erected around myself to keep everyone out. I wondered if the same mantra pounded through his brain when he was at the castle, and if he was lonely too. “Is there no one else you can trust?” I asked quietly.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not. My birth mother fell ill and died shortly after I was born. And my uncle… suffice to say we don’t get along. I once had people I could confide in. Family, friends, instructors, even the royal soldiers. But they were all taken away from me four years ago,” he admitted bitterly. “Ah, but there were those outside the castle walls I was close to. Such as Rodrigue!”</p>
<p>“Rodrigue?” I inquired, even as I thought about how I wanted him to confide in me.</p>
<p>“Heh, pardon my rudeness. I meant Lord Rodrigue. He is my father’s old companion, and the father of Felix. On the occasions he would visit the capital, he’d take me out hunting or on long horse rides. While Dedue is like a brother to me, Rodrigue is more like a second father. It might sound ridiculous, but… he’s the kind of man I hope to become one day. Someone who can reach out and save a lost soul,” he trailed off thoughtfully. “Oh… Please accept my apologies for boring you with my life story. In any case, don’t forget your promise, Professor. I’m counting on you.”</p>
<p>In that moment, I was struck by how kind he was. And how I, a demon who had never been accused of being kind, felt unfit to stand beside him. But I desperately wanted to. So I did anyway, and I began to join Dimitri in teaching swordsmanship to the orphans once a week.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>The month had passed quickly. Even with the previous month hanging over him, and with the Rite of Rebirth approaching, Dimitri found himself enjoying the days as he spent his time helping his professor investigate what the true motive might be.</p>
<p>And when the day had arrived and Annette had provided some rather suspect cookies--not that he would’ve noticed if she hadn’t said anything, unable to taste them as he was--he'd been surprised to see the professor tear through hers. So he had offered his own to her, if only for the pleasure of watching just how much she enjoyed food.</p>
<hr/>
<p>His body moved on its own. The sword from the casket was glowing in her hands. And the Death Knight had taken notice of it, advancing towards the professor while her back was turned, her focus on the mage she was facing. So Dimitri had moved and found himself standing between her and the Death Knight.</p>
<p><i>Don’t be foolish, son,</i> his father growled at him as he raised his lance towards the menacing figure.</p>
<p>He knew it was not a fight he would win, he knew it in his bones. But in that moment, it didn’t matter. His father’s voice didn’t matter. His duty didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was ensuring that she did not fall to that scythe.</p>
<p>“That sword is… I see. What a pleasant surprise,” the Death Knight rumbled.</p>
<p>Dimitri raised his lance, preparing to defend his professor to his last breath. His last breath which may be sooner than he’d planned against this opponent. But as she turned and noticed them, red light flashed around the Death Knight and he disappeared.</p>
<p>“He got away…” Dimitri said, a mixture of disappointment and relief filling him. It meant they still had an enemy at large, but it also meant that he would not be falling today. “We have no choice but to let them go for now.”</p>
<p>He turned to face his professor then, and his gaze fell upon the sword in her hand. It was still glowing, lit up in the way only a Relic resonating with a compatible Crest could, even without a Crest Stone, which should not have been possible. Another mystery, another miracle, from the beauty bearing an ancient name from the Kingdom. “Professor… The way that sword is glowing. I wonder…”</p>
<p>Catherine’s arrival cut him off.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Ah, Professor! I’m glad you came,” he said as casually as he could when she arrived at the training ground, trying to pretend that he hadn’t been nervously pacing back and forth waiting for her, trying to pretend that he hadn’t been going through every possible way this conversation could go in his head. Trying to pretend that he hadn’t been attempting to block out his father and Glenn chastising him for attempting to face the Death Knight for her sake.</p>
<p>Those thoughts vanished though when his gaze fell on the Relic from the casket at her hip. “I thought Seteth took the sword?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Rhea entrusted it to me,” she said, as if that alone was enough explanation for pulling a Hero’s Relic from the casket of Saint Seiros and harmonizing with it. Every time he thought that he might be starting to figure her out, some new mystery about her emerged. Something else to thrust her further out of his grasp, which made his favor all the more important--another chance to keep her within reach.</p>
<p>“If you don’t mind, I have a favor I’d like to ask of you,” he finally said.</p>
<p>“What’s the favor?” she asked.</p>
<p>“It’s in regard to sword training. Not for myself, but… Well… To be honest, I’ve been teaching swordsmanship to the orphans at the monastery for a while now.”</p>
<p>“How unexpected,” she said after a moment.</p>
<p>“I must agree. Frankly, I’m not great with children,” he admitted. He was awkward enough around adults, but with children, he always seemed to treat them either younger or older than he should. Not to mention how terrified he was that his monstrous strength might slip and he’d end up hurting a child accidentally. But he’d been happy to help the children when they’d asked. “Some of them saw me sparring with the knights one day. They started pestering me to teach them. They were so earnest… I couldn’t help but oblige. There’s much I wish to show them, but due to my own studies and training, I’m afraid my time is rather limited. Which brings me to my favor. Your swordsmanship is unmatched. I hate to ask this of you, but… Would you consider lending me a hand?”</p>
<p>There, the words were out. He hoped that he’d practiced enough with the details to convince her.</p>
<p>“You can count on me,” she responded.</p>
<p>“Thank you, truly. I am in your debt. And I always repay my debts,” he rambled in his relief. “All of these children lost their families and homes to war or illness. This may sound a bit arrogant, but… I feel it’s my responsibility to help them. I lost my parents without warning too. In that way, we’re the same. In Duscur, I lost my father, stepmother, and closest friends. I didn’t have many allies at the castle after that. In truth, I had only Dedue for companionship.”</p>
<p>“Is there no one else you can trust?” she asked, her voice quiet. If she were capable of facial expressions, he would’ve expected a frown to go with it, but he’d never seen her mask break. But he had learned, her voice got quiet when she was… upset, concerned.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid not. My birth mother fell ill and died shortly after I was born. And my uncle… suffice to say we don’t get along. I once had people I could confide in. Family, friends, instructors, even the royal soldiers. But they were all taken away from me four years ago,” he said, trying not to think of that day too vividly, even if the voices of those he lost still followed him. “Ah, but there were those outside the castle walls I was close to. Such as Rodrigue!”</p>
<p>“Rodrigue?”</p>
<p>Stupid of him, of course she wouldn’t know Rodrigue. “Heh, pardon my rudeness. I meant Lord Rodrigue. He is my father’s old companion, and the father of Felix. On the occasions he would visit the capital, he’d take me out hunting or on long horse rides. While Dedue is like a brother to me, Rodrigue is more like a second father. It might sound ridiculous, but… he’s the kind of man I hope to become one day. Someone who can reach out and save a lost soul. Oh… Please accept my apologies for boring you with my life story. In any case, don’t forget your promise, Professor. I’m counting on you.”</p>
<p>He always said too much around her. </p>
<hr/>
<p>In truth, he'd been a little nervous about the professor helping him instruct the orphans. Her skill was unmatched, and he knew well that she was an excellent instructor, but he also remembered how much she'd unnerved him when she had first been appointed to the Blue Lion House. Her flat affect no longer made him uncomfortable--although he did wish that she were easier to read--but he had only come to feel that way after interacting with her over the past few months. He couldn't help but worry that the children would be unnerved by her the way he had once been.</p>
<p>Those worries had proven to be unfounded. Her stony mask never fell away, but she was unbelievably gentle.</p>
<p>"Allow me to demonstrate," she said kindly as a young boy struggled to get his grip right. She held her own sword in front of him, displaying the proper grip. As the boy tried again, Dimitri was dumbstruck as he watched his professor place her sword on the ground and softly readjust the orphan's hands on the hilt and then ruffle his hair approvingly when his grip had become satisfactory.</p>
<p>He was so distracted by her, in fact, that the boy he was sparring with was able to get past his defenses and whack him soundly in the ribs with his wooden training sword.</p>
<p>"I won!" the boy cried out with delight.</p>
<p>"So you did," Dimitri said with a soft chuckle.</p>
<p>When he caught her gaze from across the training ground and smiled, for the first time in a long time, it was completely real.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Tower of Black Winds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions are sent into Fraldarius territory to deal with Miklan and his band of thieves.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>I'll aim to have the next chapter up within a week! Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>Rhea and Seteth had summoned me to the audience chamber at the beginning of the new month.</p>
<p>“I have a new mission for you, Professor. I would like for you to take your students into Kingdom territory to eliminate some thieves,” Rhea said.</p>
<p>Seteth added, “They stole a Hero’s Relic from House Gautier of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus--the Lance of Ruin. Their leader’s name is Miklan. He is apparently a disowned son of House Gautier.”</p>
<p>House Gautier. That was Sylvain’s house. Rhea seemed to love sending my students on missions that affected them personally. Miklan must have been Sylvain’s brother. “Why was he disowned?” I asked.</p>
<p>“I believe it had something to do with his lack of a Crest. Such happenings are fairly common within the Kingdom,” Seteth responded.</p>
<p>“The Crestless cannot harness the goddess’ power, even if they possess a Relic. Nonetheless, they are still capable of simply wielding those weapons,” Rhea continued.</p>
<p>“And why must the church eliminate him?” I pressed. It seemed like a matter for the Kingdom to deal with, not a matter for the church. Not a matter to send Sylvain in to face his own brother.</p>
<p>“This skirmish involves a holy Relic, and is therefore more than a single noble is capable of resolving,” Seteth said. “The Heroes’ Relics are immensely powerful weapons. We must meet this threat with adequate force. Unfortunately, most of the Knights of Seiros are away from the monastery purging the apostates of the Western Church. So we are entrusting you with this mission. After all, you wield the Sword of the Creator, which is more than capable of opposing any Relic.”</p>
<p>Rhea fixed me with a stare. “The Sword of the Creator is a powerful weapon, well beyond the other Relics. You have nothing to fear. However, to ensure that no harm comes to the students, we will also send the monastery’s most skilled individuals to aid you.”</p>
<p>“I must remind you that you are expected to conduct yourself in a manner befitting the wielder of that holy sword,” Seteth said sternly. “Also, you should know that Professor Hanneman has been looking for you. That is all.”</p>
<p>I didn’t know how the wielder of a holy sword should act, but I did not mention that to Seteth.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri was standing in the entrance hall as I made my way back to the main floor. He walked forward to meet me, as if he’d been waiting for me. “I heard about our mission for this month,” he said by way of greeting. “So… We are to eradicate thieves in Kingdom territory.” He bowed his head. “I’m sorry for dragging you into the Kingdom’s petty squabbles. This should not be your burden to bear, but my own…”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “I’m happy to help.”</p>
<p>He lifted his chin again and he met my eyes with a small smile. “Thank you, Professor. Hearing you say that puts my mind at ease.” Footsteps sounded behind us. “Hm?”</p>
<p>A man approached from the entryway doors. He had wavy, chin-length black hair and a bit of stubble across his cheeks. His piercing, blue-gray eyes looked familiar somehow.</p>
<p>“Your Highness?” the man inquired, and then a grin spread across his lips. “Ah, it’s been ages!”</p>
<p>“It’s been a long time!” Dimitri agreed, looking pleasantly surprised. “Two years, if I’m not mistaken.”</p>
<p>“Indeed, Your Highness. You’ve grown so much in those years. I hardly recognize you,” the man responded.</p>
<p>I looked between the two. “A friend of yours?” I asked Dimitri.</p>
<p>“This is Rodrigue, an old friend of my father’s. I believe I’ve mentioned him, if you recall. When my father died four years ago, he looked after me as if I were his own son,” Dimitri responded.</p>
<p>He had mentioned Rodrigue, and as he said it, the familiarity clicked into place. Those were Felix’s eyes. And this was the man whom Dimitri had said he would like to one day be like.</p>
<p>A man who was now laughing jovially. “You flatter me, Your Highness. It was an honor to care for such a fine, young man.” He turned his gaze to me. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Professor Byleth. I am Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius. My son, Felix, has mentioned you on occasion.”</p>
<p>“It’s nice to meet you as well,” I said with a nod.</p>
<p>Dimitri turned back to Rodrigue. “What brings you to the monastery, Rodrigue? Is it the thieves plaguing the Kingdom?”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid so,” Rodrigue said with a frown. “This is not merely a problem for House Gautier, but for everyone. The thieves have set up their headquarters in Fraldarius territory, and are mercilessly pillaging the villages of that area. You have our full support in stopping those dastards. I thank you for the help, both of you.”</p>
<p>“It’s no trouble at all,” I assured him. And while I still regretted Sylvain’s involvement, I found that I was less upset with Rhea if it meant helping Dimitri. “I’ll leave you two to catch up. I’m supposed to meet with Professor Hanneman.”</p>
<p>“Yes, of course, Professor,” Dimitri said.</p>
<p>I departed with a nod.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Hanneman was waiting in his office. “Good of you to come, Professor. I’ve heard much about you lately. Specifically, that you were able to awaken the Sword of the Creator’s power. Thusly, it seems the true nature of your Crest has been uncovered. I had, of course, seen your Crest before. However, at first, I failed to recognize its true nature. Eventually, it dawned on me that what is visible is perhaps merely a small part of a greater whole. In other words, your Crest is too significant to be detected when using normal instruments. After this discovery, I began researching Crests that might fit that description, which allowed for a temporary hypothesis. However, I could not be certain. The Crest my conclusions led me to was far too unusual. A Crest thought to have disappeared in this world in the millennium since the fall of Nemesis, the King of Liberation. The Crest of Flames. That is what you possess.”</p>
<p>I felt a twinge of sympathy for the students of the Golden Deer House. I hoped that none of my lectures felt this way. But I mulled over the details that he’d revealed. “The Crest of Flames…” I wondered aloud.</p>
<p>Hanneman nodded. “Your ability to wield the Sword of the Creator has unequivocally proved my hypothesis. A legendary power, dormant since time immemorial, and now resurrected… There can be no doubt that this ancient power resides within you.”</p>
<p>I didn’t know what to make of it. I turned to leave, but his voice stopped me. “I wonder, might you have a moment to chat?”</p>
<p>“Why?” I asked flatly.</p>
<p>“Come now. You have no need to be on guard.”</p>
<p>I wanted to refute him. <i>Stay on your guard,</i> the mantra repeated in my mind.</p>
<p>“I’d never cause you harm,” he said in what he must have thought was a reassuring tone. “You’re far too valuable a specim--Well, that is to say, too valuable a member of the academy staff. Indeed, the further my Crest research progresses, the closer you come to learning the truth of your heritage. Is it not so? When I learned you bore the lost Crest--the very Crest of Flames itself!--I set about learning everything I could about your past. What was the origin of your bloodline? How have the events of your life been shaped by your lineage? I became somewhat obsessed, I must admit.”</p>
<p>The words clanged around in my head. “You investigated me?” I asked bitterly.</p>
<p>“Nothing so crass as an investigation, no. I researched. I spoke to mercenaries whom you’ve worked with in the past to learn about your life before the academy,” he responded, describing what could only be called an investigation. “Of course, I also contacted Jeralt and his mercenary friends. Your father does keep rather interesting company. I’m excited to share with you what I learned, but I do ask that you correct me if I’m mistaken on any account.”</p>
<p>I stared at him. He apparently took it as consent to continue.</p>
<p>“The story begins with Jeralt serving as captain of the Knights of Seiros… There was a woman at the monastery with whom Jeralt was quite close. At first, it seemed obvious this mystery woman was your mother. Alas, that cannot be the case. The timing is all wrong. As it was told to me, the woman in question passed away shortly before Jeralt left the monastery… Yet your birth occurred sometime later, while Jeralt was taking work as a mercenary. This, of course, presumes your age is accurately reported. If you were born sooner, well, the story would be quite different, would it not?”</p>
<p>“My father was always one for secrets,” I said quietly as I considered the new details that I’d learned about him just now.</p>
<p>“Oh, I am aware. You two were certainly enigmatic as far as mercenaries go. For example, Jeralt never once spoke of his time serving as captain of the knights. That’s quite a secret to keep for all those years. In the end, your old acquaintances had little definitive to say about either of you. However, they all agreed on one thing--your father, and yourself, were a strong pair. Warriors to be respected and feared. You, in particular. In fact, many came to know you as the Ashen Demon. They say you would destroy your enemies without a hint of emotion on your face. The mercenaries I spoke to revered you as a living legend of sorts. Why, one man even claimed you broke his sword arm and he hasn’t been able to fight since.”</p>
<p>I continued to stare at him. The Ashen Demon. I found that I did not want that name being whispered here. It was a name I had never had a problem with before, but I realized that I was afraid of how the way the students looked at me might change if they knew what I really was. I was afraid of how the way the kind prince looked at me might change if he knew how bloodthirsty I was deep down.</p>
<p>“So, that is what I learned. And, I admit, it is barely more than I knew before. The next step in my research is to ask your blood for answers, and hope that it is more forthcoming than your past acquaintances,” Hanneman said, reaching in his desk for a syringe to, I could only guess, extract said blood.</p>
<p>It was bold of him, even knowing that I had broken a man’s arm beyond repair for even attempting to touch me. But I did not break Hanneman’s arm, instead I turned on my heel and fled without another word.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Sothis kept me up that night. <i>A stone? A stone… I do not understand. Yet as I think of it, the pounding in my chest grows faster still. But is that me… or is it you? Hmm…</i></p>
<p><i>That doesn’t make any sense,</i> I told her. <i>There’s nothing in a chest that pounds.</i></p>
<p><i>A stone,</i> she murmured again. <i>Ugh, I cannot sleep like this!</i></p>
<p><i>When have you ever had trouble sleeping?</i> I shot back.</p>
<p><i>Please, let’s go try out your sword or something,</i> she begged.</p>
<p>I finally relented. I had to admit that I was a little curious to try the weapon out myself. I made my way out to the field where the mock battle had taken place when I’d first arrived at the monastery.</p>
<p>I held the Sword of the Creator out in front of me, and just as the first time I’d held it, it began to glow. It was larger than the swords I was accustomed to wielding, but light in my grip. I went through the motions of sparring with it, and then instinctively, I thrust it out in front of me and the segments of the blade split and it whipped out across the field, felling several trees in its wake.</p>
<p>“You’ll want to be careful with that,” a cool voice said behind me. “Legend has it that Relic could cut a mountain in half.”</p>
<p><i>It seems we have an audience,</i> Sothis observed.</p>
<p>I turned to see Edelgard watching me.</p>
<p>“It was allegedly wielded by Nemesis, the King of Liberation. If the legends hold true, you hold the power to stand against entire armies. A band of thieves like you’re set to face should be nothing. Even the most elite Imperial forces or the Knights of Seiros could not hope to defeat you,” she continued.</p>
<p>“Why does it matter?” I asked.</p>
<p>“I’m just marveling at the potential,” she responded casually. “Besides, your power does not lie solely in the Sword of the Creator. You are stronger and more terrifying than you realize, Professor.”</p>
<p>I’d always terrified people. I’d been a strange child and grown into a strange, violent woman. It should have been no surprise to me that I continued to do so even now, but if I was being honest with myself, I had been really enjoying my time at the monastery and being able to interact with others without that layer of fear.</p>
<p>None of those were things that I wanted to say to Edelgard, so instead I asked, “What are you doing out here?”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep. I went out for some fresh air and saw you wandering off, so I thought to follow,” she responded coolly. Her expression softened slightly. “Stupid, pointless dreams I can’t control… It’s terribly frustrating.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “Is there anything I can help with?”</p>
<p>“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “They’re just worthless dreams of the past. Talking about it won’t change a thing. Even now, I’m the only one who can carry the weight of the Adrestian Empire. The future of the Empire… of everything… depends on me.” She paused. “Hm. I shared more than I intended to. I suppose there’s something in the air tonight. Please… forget I said anything. Sleep well, Professor.”</p>
<p><i>I wonder what that was about?</i> Sothis asked as Edelgard walked away, leaving me alone in the field once again.</p>
<p><i>I don’t know,</i> I responded. <i>Will you be able to sleep now?</i></p>
<p><i>Yes, I think so,</i> Sothis replied, and so I went to bed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning after my breakfast I was approached by a tall man with long orange hair with streaks of gray in it that was braided down his back. His face showed signs of age and he had blue-gray eyes. “Hail, Professor Byleth,” he said with a small bow. “If I may introduce myself, I am Gilbert. My life has been spent as a dedicated knight. I am to accompany you on your assignment this moon. I may have slowed a step in recent years, but I pledge to you the full extent of my abilities.”</p>
<p>“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I responded.</p>
<p>“No, Professor,” he said with a shake of his head. “The pleasure is all mine, I assure you. I look forward to working alongside you.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Shortly after meeting Gilbert, I ran into Annette on my way into the classroom that morning. “Hey, Professor? You haven’t seen a man with hair the same color as mine, a scowling face, and a generally gloomy demeanor, have you?”</p>
<p>I blinked as I stared at her. I most certainly had just run into someone like that. “I might have seen him near the dining hall.”</p>
<p>“Oh? Thank you, Professor!” She turned towards the doorway.</p>
<p>“Who is he to you?” I asked, unable to contain the question.</p>
<p>She looked back and bit her lip. “He… To be honest, he’s my father. He’s using a different name now, but there’s no mistaking it. It’s him, I know it is!” She turned away again. “I… uh, might be a little late to lecture! Sorry, Professor!”</p>
<hr/>
<p>After sparring that afternoon, Dimitri stood near me with a frown on his face. “Say, I hear a Knight of Seiros named Gilbert will be joining us for our mission this moon. He is skilled, which is surely a boon for us. Still… That was not very thoughtful of Lady Rhea.”</p>
<p>I had met Gilbert that morning and learned that he was Annette’s father. I opted not to point out that Rhea had so far shown a penchant for being very thoughtful and instead asked, “Do you know him?”</p>
<p>“Ahh, well…” he trailed off and then finally shook his head. “No, I do not. Not really. All I will say is that we have trained together a few times in the past.”</p>
<p>I found myself wishing again that he would confide in me.</p>
<p>“Anyway, I’m off to dine with Rodrigue.” He paused and looked back at me. “House Gautier is Sylvain’s home. It would be nice if you could check on him as well. I believe he went into town.”</p>
<p>I nodded. “I will. Enjoy your dinner with Rodrigue.”</p>
<p>I could have sworn I heard Jeritza muttering about Mercedes looking familiar as I passed by him on my way out of the training ground.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The town at the base of the monastery was not a small place when you were looking for someone, but I managed to finally track Sylvain down. He waved me over when he noticed me. “Oh, Professor. Heh, I didn’t realize you were there. If we run into each other like this, people will start to talk,” he said with a sly grin.</p>
<p>I stared at him.</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t get mad! I was joking. Ah, forget it. Listen. I’m so sorry my older brother is causing you all this hassle. Don’t misunderstand, I always thought he was a piece of garbage, but I never thought he’d steal the Relic. I can’t wait to see his face when he realizes I’m in the group that was sent to take him down.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Anyway, did you need something?”</p>
<p>“I came to check on you.”</p>
<p>“Well, aside from having to avoid a slap in the face, I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“I fell for a girl recently, but I just wanted to have some fun and leave it at that. So I told her we should break it off. I guess she was feeling a little more serious than I was. She started crying, and everything got a bit… complicated.”</p>
<p>“You’re complicated,” I told him.</p>
<p>“Come on, Professor. Playing around with girls is the most fun a guy can have,” he said with a wink. “Besides, I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t intend to change how I live my life. I’m a good-for-nothing, if you haven’t noticed, but I’m still a noble with a Crest. That’s all anyone cares about. It’s best to avoid getting too serious with fools like that. It only leads to trouble. I’m gonna be forced into an arranged marriage with some random noblewoman anyway. By the way, you didn’t know you had a Crest, did you?”</p>
<p>“My father never told me,” I responded, although to be honest, I wasn’t sure that my father had known either.</p>
<p>“I see. I suppose a mercenary wouldn’t be concerned with such things,” he said with a frown.</p>
<p>I hadn’t been concerned with such things. I hadn’t known that Crests existed. Everything had been so much simpler as a mercenary--kill or be killed. “What was your experience?”</p>
<p>His brows furrowed into a glare. “Most children who are born to noble families are tested upon birth to see if they bear one. Even descendants of the Ten Elites, like myself, can’t be legitimate heirs without a Crest. That means, as children, we’re only accepted if we’re born with one. The heads of most noble houses keep having kids until they get one with a Crest. Those children then grow up to be heads of their houses, and the vicious cycle continues. Do you get it now? To all these commoner girls, I’m just a trophy. Or rather, a studhorse.”</p>
<p>“You mean they only want you for your bloodline?”</p>
<p>He nodded. “See? I knew you’d get it. These girls don’t love me. They love the potential rewards of loving me. If I marry a girl and she gives birth to a child with a Crest, that kid might become the next head of House Gautier. For ages now, those of us with Crests have been envied and desired but never for who we are. I understand the value of my blood. Believe me, I hate how much I understand it. I know better than to dream of being free from this burden. I’m used to it by now. I used to think I didn’t have the right to live freely.”</p>
<p>“You don’t think that way anymore?”</p>
<p>He chuckled. “That’s right. You know what? I’m a bit jealous. The whole time you were growing up, you never knew you had a Crest. You were free. Nobody pretended to like you.” His expression darkened, and then, as if catching himself, he grinned. “Don’t mind me, Professor. After all, ladies love a dark and brooding noble.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The days passed in relative quiet after that. Most of the Knights of Seiros were away dealing with the Western Church. Ashe had lamented being unable to be a part of the investigation, wishing to know what had motivated them to use Lonato. Tomas, the librarian, had expressed suspicions that the Western Church was motivated by an outside source.</p>
<p>Felix, it seemed, was not fond of his father, going out of his way to avoid him while Rodrigue was visiting, despite Ingrid’s urging that he take advantage of the opportunity to spend time with his family. Dimitri, on the other hand, spent much of his free time with the lord, and I found myself glad that he was getting the opportunity to.</p>
<p>I couldn’t seem to escape the whispers about the Crest of Flames or the Sword of the Creator, the news having spread quickly around the monastery. It was rare, at least, that I was approached directly about it, which was fine by me. I had once thought that I was no one, nothing at all, and while I didn’t quite feel like a ghost anymore, I didn’t know what to make of all of it. It was hard to believe such power dwelled within me.</p>
<p>I hadn’t even realized it was the twenty-second of the Verdant Rain Moon until Sothis pointed it out brightly in the morning, <i>It is our day of birth!</i></p>
<p><i>I suppose it is,</i> I remarked after double checking the calendar.</p>
<p><i>Try not to sound so excited,</i> Sothis chided me.</p>
<p><i>I doubt anyone even knows,</i> I told her. When I had been young, my father had been more open about it. But as I grew older, he’d gotten secretive about it, outright refusing to tell anyone who dared to ask what my day of birth was. He’d still make sure to have a special feast with me in private, but it was not a day that was common knowledge.</p>
<p><i>Then what is that? It looks like something’s been slipped under your door,</i> Sothis responded slyly.</p>
<p>At her urging, I turned from the dresser where I’d been getting ready for the day to see that she was right. There was a tightly wrapped scroll of paper slipped under the door tied to a small box--small enough to fit under the door--wrapped with a ribbon.</p>
<p>I bent down and picked it up, unrolling the scroll of paper first to read it.</p>
<p>
  <i>Happy birthday, Professor. It isn’t much, but we got you a gift as a symbol of our gratitude. I hope you will accept it.<br/>
-	Dimitri</i>
</p>
<p>I had received one gift in my life so far, the dagger that I wore at my hip each day. A gift from my father. My hands were shaking slightly as I undid the ribbon on the box and opened it, revealing a small brooch of a roaring blue lion’s head.</p>
<p>I almost tripped running over to the mirror and I heard Sothis bite back a laugh. But I was so moved that I ignored her, focusing instead on pinning the brooch onto my jacket.</p>
<p><i>It looks lovely, Byleth,</i> Sothis said. <i>What a good professor you must be.</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>I was surprised to see Leonie show up in the Blue Lion’s classroom after my lecture that day. “Professor! Captain Jeralt was looking for you, he said he would be waiting at the graveyard. He was all furrowed brow earlier. Do you know what’s got him so concerned?”</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>“You better not be making trouble for him,” she said sternly.</p>
<p>“How do you know my father?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Well, when I was a kid, I kind of latched on to him. I’ve been calling myself his apprentice ever since. He spent some time in the village I grew up in. Actually, you weren’t with him back then. Why not?”</p>
<p>I remembered my father going to Sauin Village, but I’d been so distraught at his absence that I didn’t even remember why he hadn’t taken me with him. “I don’t remember.”</p>
<p>“Huh. Well, back then, Jeralt’s job was to deal with some bandits. Nobody in the village could stand up to them. But your dad? He took them on like it was nothing. I was so impressed! All I could think was how amazing mercenaries were. I’d lived in that tiny village my whole life, so to me, Captain Jeralt was nothing short of a legend. So I went right up to him and I told him I was going to be his apprentice. He didn’t stick around long after that, but he did teach me a lot while he was with us. After he left, I kept at it. Kept training. Just like he taught me,” she responded fiercely.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you got to see him again, then.”</p>
<p>“Me too. I always planned to meet him again, once I became a top-tier mercenary. But I’m just glad I got to see him. To thank him properly and all. I’ve spent my whole life working to become a great mercenary like your father. There were so many times I wanted to ask his advice, but I couldn’t. I just had to make do. That’s how I’ve made it this far. Just hard work, all on my own. But then you come along… And it’s like you don’t appreciate Captain Jeralt at all, or how lucky you were to have him around your whole life! Ugh! It really bothers me! You might be his kid, but I’m still his best apprentice! Got it?!” She stomped out of the room before I could say a word.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Like Leonie had said, my father was standing in the small graveyard at the eastern edge of the monastery, overlooking a deep ravine below. “Hey, you found me,” he said with a small smile when I approached. The smile faltered when I reached his side. “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Leonie--”</p>
<p>“Ah, she got into it with you? Pay her no mind, kid,” he said with a soft pat on my shoulder. “She’s a good kid at heart. And you’ve got no reason to feel threatened by her.” His eyes fell on the brooch pinned on my jacket. “That brat really did it, eh?” he muttered.</p>
<p>“How did he know today is my birthday?” I asked quietly.</p>
<p>“He asked me. So I told him. But I don’t want word getting out, okay?”</p>
<p>I nodded, opting not to mention to my father how elated I felt at the prospect that the prince had sought him out to learn my day of birth.</p>
<p>“Anyway, for your birthday, I was thinking we should visit… your mother,” his voice had softened as he gestured towards the gravestone in front of us. “She’s resting beneath this humble grave…”</p>
<p>I stared at my father as shock flooded through me. My mother… Why was her grave at the monastery? I bent down to look at the inscription.</p>
<p>
<i>Sitri Eisner<br/>
1139 – 1159<br/>
Resting in the warm embrace of cherished memories.</i>
</p>
<p>At the base of the gravestone were fresh flowers. I looked back at my father. “Why is her grave here?”</p>
<p>“Hm? Oh. Of course you would ask that,” he said, shifting nervously on his feet in a way he rarely did. “I wouldn’t know where to begin… I suppose I haven’t talked much about her.”</p>
<p>He looked at me and then at the gravestone. “She was gentle and smart. So smart. A wonderful cook. Always kind to everyone. And… she loved flowers. Whenever I brought her back an unusual flower, her face would light up. I cherish those memories. I can’t count how many times she made me happy just by smiling. And she smiled the most… when she was pregnant with you. She died right after you were born. She wasn’t able to spend much time with you. But she loved you with all her heart. That’s the truest thing I know… Never forget it.”</p>
<p>He held his hand out to me, a silver ring that looked like it fit his finger glistening in his palm. In the center of it was a cluster of nine glistening amethysts of varying sizes. “This ring is the only keepsake I have of her. In time, it will be yours. One day, I hope you’ll give this ring to someone you love as well as I love her.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I said softly, resting a hand gently on the gravestone. My father laid his free hand on my shoulder and squeezed.</p>
<p>My father had always been one for his secrets, and even with what he’d just revealed, I had been given more questions than answers. But I knew better than to press him. I knew to accept the gift that I’d been given just now. So I stared at my mother’s grave with my father, wondering what she might have been like, and wondering what it might feel like to love someone as much as my father clearly loved her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Near the end of the month, we’d finally started our march north from the monastery. It was not a pleasant march, gray skies overhead and rain falling around us for days as we made our way north into Fraldarius territory. When we’d gotten close to our destination, Dimitri, Gilbert, and I had stopped.</p>
<p>“It should be in our sights soon, Professor,” Dimitri said beside me. “The abandoned tower those thieves are using as a base… Conand Tower.”</p>
<p>“This area was the site of a massive battle several hundred years ago. That’s when invasions from the north were at their peak. Back then, this tower was built for both surveillance and defense. It will be difficult to seize it,” Gilbert cautioned.</p>
<p>“You’re very well informed, Gilbert. Please, tell us more,” Dimitri said sarcastically as something flashed in his eyes.</p>
<p>I glanced between the two, recalling Dimitri’s comments at the beginning of the month about Rhea’s thoughtlessness.</p>
<p>“Well, I…” The older man crossed his arms. “Ah. You’re joking.”</p>
<p>Dimitri turned back to me. “Professor. Did you see the local villages? They were in rough shape, no doubt because of the thief attacks. They’re not going to make it through the winter in that condition. If the thieves had taken up pillaging in order to survive, that would be deplorable… but understandable.” He shook his head and his brows furrowed into a glare. “But this… This is something else entirely. It looks as though they destroyed those villages purely for pleasure. No matter what their reasons may be, that sort of behavior cannot be allowed. Ever.”</p>
<p>“Don’t bother losing your head over those lowlifes, Your Highness. It’s wasted effort,” Sylvain said as he approached.</p>
<p>“Sylvain…” Dimitri frowned at him. “The thieves’ leader… the one who stole the Relic. Word has it he’s your older brother. I know he’s been disowned, but…”</p>
<p>“He is no longer a member of House Gautier… or my brother,” Sylvain said sharply. “He’s nothing more than a common thief.”	</p>
<p>“Are you sure about that? It would be understandable to find this situation… well, regrettable, to say the least,” Dimitri pressed gently.</p>
<p>“Regrets?” Sylvain laughed bitterly. “Heh, you must be joking. You know we’re far past the point of regret. And it always falls on the younger brother to clean up the mistakes of their elders, doesn’t it?” He glanced between Dimitri and I. “I want to be the one to take care of my brother. I just came to ask that.” And then he walked away.</p>
<p>Dimitri watched him leave and then looked up at the sky. “This rain threatens a coming storm. We must hurry and begin our war council before the heavens let loose.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>We’d managed to corner the thieves at the top floor of Conand Tower.</p>
<p>“The enemy is close by. We’re almost to the top floor,” Gilbert reported as we climbed the last of the steps.</p>
<p>“They are merely thieves, but they have a Hero’s Relic. Do not drop your guard,” Dimitri cautioned.</p>
<p>Sylvain gripped his lance tightly. “Don’t hold back for my sake. My brother is going to pay for everything he’s done.”</p>
<p>We fought our way through the halls to the center of the tower. Gilbert, despite refusing to acknowledge Annette in any way, was always at her back. Sylvain was leading our charge, with Dimitri and I close by.</p>
<p>When we reached the central room, Sylvain rushed forward to meet a man who could only be Miklan, his brother. Where Sylvain was handsome, Miklan was the opposite. He had a cruel face, a blunt nose that looked like it had been broken at least once, and a huge scar that went from his hairline to his cheek.</p>
<p>“Why have you come, you Crest-bearing fool?” he bit out as Sylvain approached.</p>
<p>“I’m here for the Lance of Ruin, Miklan. Hand it over. I don’t want to humiliate you, but I will,” Sylvain responded bitterly.</p>
<p>“Hmph! Hurry up and die already. If not for you… If it hadn’t been for you…” Miklan raised the Relic in his hand, readying to swing at his brother. The Lance of Ruin had a single point jutting out at the top, the edge of the blade closest to the pole was embedded with a red stone. Below that were four rows of what appeared to be large fangs that shuddered on their own.</p>
<p>“Shut up! I’m so tired of hearing that. You’ve always blamed me for something that isn’t my fault,” Sylvain yelled as he caught Miklan’s blow. He parried, and I watched as he thrust his own lance toward his brother’s chest.</p>
<p>It took all my willpower to not run forward and try to spare him from it, but I understood that he needed to do this. I understood it more as they traded words and I thought back on the conversation I’d had with Sylvain in town, when he had lashed out at me for not knowing about my Crest. He had asked Dimitri and I to let him do this, and so we both stood back. Even as I desired to spare him from it as his teacher, and from the way Dimitri was gripping his lance I guessed that he wanted to spare his friend as well.</p>
<p>Lightning flashed through the sky and thunder boomed. Rain pounded the roof and fell in through the open windows.</p>
<p>Miklan jumped back from Sylvain’s thrust. “Not bad for your kind… A bunch of spoiled, rotten children.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, the Relic in his hand lit up. The stone embedded in it flared with red light and something began to ooze and writhe out of it. Tendrils of black shot out and began to lace up Miklan’s arm.</p>
<p>“Get back!” I screamed at Sylvain who was staring on in horror.</p>
<p>“What the hell?!” Miklan yelled, grabbing at the black that had shot up to engulf his shoulder. He tore at it, but it kept spreading across his body, consuming him. He began screaming as it swept over his face.</p>
<p>The remaining thieves were watching on in horror as well. “Damn! Look at that… I’m outta here!” And then they were running.</p>
<p>The black mass that had once been Miklan continued to grow. It writhed and swirled, and then solidified. A flash of red shot out, and then a monstrous beast stood where the man once had. One of the fleeing thieves had tripped and fallen back. And we watched as the beast stepped forward and snatched the thief up in its jaws. There was nothing of Miklan left, just a roaring, wild beast with glowing red eyes.</p>
<p>“What the--Miklan?! Is that you?!” Sylvain cried out.</p>
<p>“That’s not Miklan anymore!” I yelled. “Be careful!”</p>
<p>“So, this is the power of a Hero’s Relic. To create such a sinister beast…” Dimitri said, staring. “It has gone too far. I fear all we can do now is put an end to it.”</p>
<p>Somehow, we did. It took far too many hits. And I had watched in horror as the beast threw a piece of rubble at Annette, but Gilbert had stepped in to block it with his shield.</p>
<p>When the monster finally started flagging, I swung the Sword of the Creator, extending it into a whip and cut through the beast’s neck.</p>
<p>When it finally fell, black miasma dissolved from it and then dissipated, leaving behind Miklan’s body and the Relic at his side.</p>
<p>“Goddess… The beast is gone, yet Miklan and the Lance remain,” Gilbert said.</p>
<p>“It’s over… Let’s retrieve the lance and leave this place,” Dimitri said, his voice steadier than I felt.</p>
<p>“Miklan… my brother…” Sylvain whispered, standing a moment longer as the rest of us turned to leave.</p>
<hr/>
<p>On my way to the audience chamber to report to Rhea, Sothis interrupted me. <i>That man… His form was changed. It was as though that lance was swallowing him whole. Upon that sight, it makes sense that your students were upset. I wonder if those Relics truly hide such power? Yet even still, that power feels familiar. That form as well… As one who wields the Sword of the Creator… Does that mean you possess that power too?</i></p>
<p>The thought of transforming into such a horrific beast made me want to shudder. I tried to bury the image of it as I entered the audience chamber where Rhea was waiting.</p>
<p>“Professor, you have returned. The goddess is indeed gracious with her divine protection. I have already heard Gilbert’s report about what happened. See to it that you keep what transpired at the tower to yourself. People would lose faith in the nobles should rumors spread of one using a Relic and transforming into a monster. All regions of Fódlan would fall into chaos. We must avoid that at all costs. Please ensure the students who accompanied you understand that as well. Have I made myself clear?” Rhea asked, the last words sounding almost like a threat.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course,” I responded, but my skin crawled.</p>
<p>“His transformation into a Black Beast was nothing short of divine punishment from the goddess. Punishment for someone arrogant and foolish enough to use a Hero’s Relic even though they were unworthy and unqualified,” she spat out.</p>
<p>I froze as her words sunk in. “You knew?”</p>
<p>“Of course. That is why we rushed to recover it. Sadly, we did not arrive in time,” she responded as if this were not shocking news.</p>
<p>“Will I share the same fate?” I asked, daring to voice the question I feared the answer to.</p>
<p>Rhea shook her head. “If someone without a Crest were to wield the Relic you possess, they would likely meet the same fate as Miklan. You, however, have been chosen. You are worthy of wielding the Sword of the Creator, so there is no need to worry.” She then looked at me expectantly. “The church will formally return the lance to House Gautier. If you would…”</p>
<p>I raised my chin. “I will not.”</p>
<p>Her eyes narrowed. “What is the meaning of this?”</p>
<p>Sylvain entered then, as we had discussed on our way back to the monastery, and cleared his throat. “Excuse me,” he said as he approached. “Lady Rhea, I am overjoyed and beyond grateful to you for recovering the Relic of my family, House Gautier. Now, may I please keep the lance? I have received direct approval from my father to take possession of it.”</p>
<p>Rhea turned her glare on Sylvain. “As the next head of House Gautier, do you swear that you will never cause such a deplorable incident to transpire?”</p>
<p>Sylvain nodded and then bowed. “On my family’s name… and on my brother’s life, I swear it.”</p>
<p>“Very well,” she relented. “However, I have one condition. You must never allow another to wield this lance. Your brother clearly demonstrated what fate awaits those who break that restriction.”</p>
<p>Sylvain paled. “Yes. I… I will not soon forget.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Sylvain followed me out into the courtyard across from the classrooms and caught my wrist, pulling me to face him. “Aren’t you going to comfort me, Professor?”</p>
<p>He’d slain his own brother, turned into a horrific beast. And I had even intended to let him slay him prior to that, but I should have known better. I should have known that not everyone was a killer like me. “I am sorry about what happened. What would you have me do, Sylvain?”</p>
<p>He dropped my wrist and leaned in, his hand pressing against my back. “I can think of a few ways you could--”</p>
<p>I’d snapped an arm for far less. The brutal, savage part of me still cried out to, that these were not the hands that I wanted touching me. The realization that I <i>did</i> want a different set of hands touching me was enough to shock that violent piece of me as I slapped Sylvain across the face instead of breaking his bones.</p>
<p>“I <i>am</i> sorry about what happened with Miklan, Sylvain. But you’ll need to seek comfort elsewhere if that’s what you’re after,” I said as he staggered back, his hand pressing to his cheek where mine had struck.</p>
<p>“Point taken, Professor,” he said, his eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I’ll… see you tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Sylvain,” I called as he walked away. “I <i>am</i> sorry.”</p>
<p>“I get the feeling you’re already sweet on someone,” he said casually without stopping.</p>
<p>I wondered what he’d seen that had given him the idea, but as I thought of the feel of the <i>wrong</i> hands touching me, I realized that he might be right.</p>
<p>I wandered into the classroom to try and collect myself only to find myself faced with the very person I was trying not to think about. Dimitri looked up as I entered. “Is your meeting over, Professor?”</p>
<p>His lips were tilted down in the ghost of a frown. “You look troubled,” I said.</p>
<p>“I was just thinking about something,” he admitted. “Professor… The possession of Relics and Crests has been highly valued in Faerghus since ancient times. It’s far from uncommon for someone to lose their ability to lead their house because they don’t bear a Crest. Just like Miklan. It happened to my uncle as well. The eldest child of the king, and yet he never ascended to the throne. All families whose bloodlines carry the Crest of the Ten Elites are much the same. But House Gautier takes it a step further, and absolutely requires an heir who possesses a Crest.”</p>
<p>“Why House Gautier in particular?” I probed.</p>
<p>“To that house, the power of Crests is a necessity, not a luxury. House Gautier holds the most northern territory in the Kingdom, and they have fought with the people to the north for many years. The head of that house is responsible for protecting that territory from fearsome invaders, whom they keep at bay with the power of Crests and Relics. In exchange for that responsibility, they are granted special privileges within the Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“Strength is strength, with or without a Crest,” I said. I’d once thought the same of myself, but I found myself wondering who I would be without the Crest of Flames. I found Edelgard’s words echoing in my mind about my terrifying potential.</p>
<p>“I believe the same. Ability cannot be measured by the possession of a Crest alone,” Dimitri agreed. “I believe that Margrave Gautier was wrong to disinherit Miklan because he did not bear a Crest. Still, there is always a reason for why such customs stand the test of time. Imagine what this world would be like if no one placed any stock in Crests… Bloodlines that carry Crests would dwindle. The metaphorical blade used to oppose threats would eventually rust. This same argument has been made time and time again across the years. Both sides are at once right and wrong.”</p>
<p>I held his gaze as I asked, “What do you believe, Dimitri?”</p>
<p>“I believe those with Crests and those without should acknowledge the others’ strength and learn to respect each other based on personal merits. And that doesn’t apply only to Crests. The same holds true for lineage, race, faith, ideologies… If we could just accept each other and make mutual concessions, one step at a time… Perhaps… Who knows if that’s even possible.” He paused for a moment and shadows flickered in his eyes as he stared into mine. “Everyone has something that is unacceptable within them. I certainly do, and I’d wager you do as well.”</p>
<p>I wondered if he’d heard that I was the Ashen Demon, if he knew of the monster that lurked under the surface.</p>
<p>He closed his eyes and was silent for a second before continuing, “I wonder which is best, Professor… To cut away that which is unacceptable, or to find a way to accept it anyway…”</p>
<p>I wondered if it was even possible to cut away those unacceptable things. I didn’t think the demon inside of me would ever really disappear. Instead, I found myself wanting to see the unacceptable thing within him as I thought of Felix’s words, and I wondered if this kind, compassionate prince could truly be the same as me--could truly understand and accept me anyway.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next day, I was once again summoned to Rhea’s audience chamber. I was grateful that she no longer seemed angry with me about the Lance of Ruin, or at least if she was, she was not showing it.</p>
<p>“Professor, you have done well to complete such a difficult task. You have shown exceptional skill in leading your students. I am forever grateful for the safe return of the Hero’s Relic,” she said, and the words felt a bit like a warning. I had thought too soon that she was not still angry. But she continued, “Just as I expected, you have mastered the Sword of the Creator. Now then, I shall tell you of your mission for the coming month…”</p>
<p>She was interrupted when Seteth came bursting into the audience chamber.</p>
<p>“Rhe--Archbishop!” he shouted.</p>
<p>“Seteth, what troubles you?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Flayn is missing! I cannot find her anywhere!” He whirled on me. “Professor, have you seen Flayn recently?”</p>
<p>“I have not,” I said.</p>
<p>“She may be in danger! Oh no… No, no! What am I to do?!” His words were flying out as fast as he could get them in his panic.</p>
<p>“Calm yourself, Seteth,” Rhea commanded. She looked at me. “Professor, we shall continue our discussion another time.”</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>He stood outside the door for a moment as he worked up his courage. Once he was as composed as he could be, he knocked.</p>
<p>“Come in,” Jeralt called from within.</p>
<p>Dimitri entered the office.</p>
<p>Jeralt looked up from his desk and fixed Dimitri with a stare. “Oh. You’re that kid who’s always with Byleth. Dimitri, was it?”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir,” Dimitri responded with a nod.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” the mercenary asked.</p>
<p>Standing before him, Dimitri could understand how he had become a legend on the battlefield. The Blade Breaker was certainly intimidating. He willed his voice to remain steady. “Well, I… I heard a rumor that the professor’s birthday is this moon. I wanted to ask when it is.”</p>
<p>Jeralt froze, his posture going stiff. “Where did you hear that?”</p>
<p>It was an odd reaction. He’d been nervous about asking but had not anticipated the question itself being a point of friction. “To be honest, I heard some students talking about it in the dining hall.”</p>
<p>“That damn Hanneman,” Jeralt muttered, shaking his head. “These students, were they boys?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Dimitri responded, finding himself just as unhappy as her father seemed to be at the prospect.</p>
<p>“Why do you want to know?”</p>
<p>“I--” He quickly corrected himself with a lie. “The class wanted to get her something to show our gratitude.”</p>
<p>Jeralt was quiet for a moment as he studied him. “You kids really like her, eh?”</p>
<p>How could he not? She was kind. She was unbelievably strong. She was bewitching. Dimitri felt as if he’d fallen under a spell from the moment he’d met her. And none of those were things that he wanted to say to her father. “Yes, she’s… a wonderful professor.”</p>
<p>Jeralt let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll tell you. On one condition.”</p>
<p>“What is it?” Dimitri asked eagerly.</p>
<p>“You don’t tell a soul,” Jeralt responded, his tone serious.</p>
<p>It was too strange. Dimitri opened his mouth.</p>
<p>Jeralt held up a hand to silence him. “Do you want to know or not?”</p>
<p>Dimitri closed his mouth and nodded.</p>
<p>“It’s the twenty-second of this moon. Remember--not a word.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, sir,” Dimitri said with another nod. Jeralt clearly had his secrets, and another mystery about his professor had presented itself, but he’d at least accomplished his goal. Now the challenge was to find and deliver a present to her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The twenty-second arrived quickly. Luckily for Dimitri, his professor’s room was situated next to Dedue’s so he did not look too out of place sneaking a note and gift under her door that morning. He’d written the note as if the gift had been from the entire class, but true to his word to Jeralt, he hadn’t told anyone about her birthday. The last thing he wanted was to make an enemy of the Blade Breaker himself, even if he hadn’t been able to come up with any theories about what could cause her father to be so surreptitious about her day of birth.</p>
<p>Ultimately, it didn’t matter. What mattered was delivering her gift, and that while Jeralt may not have wanted word about it spread, he had at least trusted Dimitri enough to tell him. He’d spent a long time agonizing over what to get her.</p>
<p>Flowers could send the wrong message, and they would eventually wilt. Jewelry would certainly send the wrong message and he’d never seen her show interest in anything like that anyway. He’d even considered a dagger again, but she already had that damn dagger of the Kingdom’s royal guard--that damn dagger that drove him mad every time he saw it, wondering how she’d come to wear it on those curvy hips of hers.</p>
<p>He’d finally settled on something simple. A brooch in the shape of the Blue Lions’ emblem. A believable gift to have come from the class, and something to remind the other students which house she was a part of. It had actually been Jeralt himself asking if the students spreading the rumor of her day of birth were boys that had helped Dimitri decide.</p>
<p>He’d slipped the gift under her door without much trouble, but as he waited in the classroom that morning, he found himself growing more and more nervous, evidenced by the two quills he’d snapped in half already just trying to write the date on a piece of parchment.</p>
<p>“Little high strung this morning, Your Highness?” Sylvain drawled behind him.</p>
<p>“No, Sylvain, I am just fine,” Dimitri responded unconvincingly.</p>
<p>Sylvain came around his desk and gestured at the broken quills. “Clearly.”</p>
<p>Dimitri opened his mouth, but the arrival of their professor had him closing it. Not that he’d had anything to say, no cutting or witty words to throw back at Sylvain. And any words that he may have had vanished the moment she strode to the front of the room, with the brooch pinned to her jacket and her eyes alight.</p>
<p>Sylvain glanced between them and then flashed Dimitri a small smirk before the class began.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Aren’t you going to comfort me, Professor?” Sylvain’s voice rang out across the empty courtyard. Dimitri knew that he’d been going to the meeting with Rhea in case the Lance of Ruin came up. He’d been pacing back and forth in the classroom since they’d arrived back at the monastery, unable to banish the image of Miklan transforming into that horrific beast from his mind. He’d, of course, been hoping that his professor would make her way there after her meeting and that she could comfort him the way she always seemed to be able to.</p>
<p>Sylvain had slain his own brother. It was only natural that he would be seeking comfort as well. But as Dimitri moved closer to the doorway of the classroom where he could see the pair in the courtyard, jealousy surged through him. Sylvain was standing close to her, tightly gripping her wrist.</p>
<p><i>It was only a matter of time before Sylvain really made his move,</i> Glenn said matter-of-factly. <i>She won’t be able to resist him now. Handsome, charming Sylvain, so desperately in need of comfort. Nobody has ever called you charming. Stiff and awkward, why would she ever choose you?</i></p>
<p>Glenn wasn’t wrong. He never knew what to say or how to behave. He’d always kept everyone at arm’s length, but he’d never felt quite so lonely doing so until he met her.</p>
<p>“I am sorry about what happened. What would you have me do, Sylvain?” she asked. Dimitri couldn’t see her face, but he could imagine her lips, ever schooled into a flat line. But he could also imagine the small tells he hadn’t noticed at first--the slight crease in her brows, the shine in her dark blue eyes, the way she’d barely shift her weight from one foot to the other, the glimpses of someone deep within her fortress feeling concerned.</p>
<p>Sylvain dropped her wrist and leaned in, his hand moving to the small of her back and pulling her closer. The wood of the desk Dimitri was leaning against groaned under his grip, cracks beginning to appear in it. “I can think of a few ways you could--”</p>
<p><i>It’s better this way, boy,</i> his father began.</p>
<p>But both his father’s and Sylvain’s words were cut off by the sound of a slap as the professor struck Sylvain across the cheek. Sylvain staggered back a step, his hand leaving her back to cradle his cheek that was already turning red.</p>
<p>“I <i>am</i> sorry about what happened with Miklan, Sylvain. But you’ll need to seek comfort elsewhere if that’s what you’re after,” she said, her voice more stern than he’d ever heard.</p>
<p>“Point taken, Professor,” Sylvain said after a moment. “I’m sorry. I’ll… see you tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Sylvain,” she called after him as he walked away. “I <i>am</i> sorry.”</p>
<p>“I get the feeling you’re already sweet on someone,” Sylvain responded from out of Dimitri’s view.</p>
<p>The cracks in the desk grew. What had Sylvain noticed that he had not? It couldn’t possibly be…</p>
<p><i>It’s not you,</i> Glenn cut his thought off.</p>
<p>She may have turned down Sylvain, but a small part of him wondered if she would comfort him with her body if he asked. But he would not ask. Because Glenn was right. He was stiff and awkward. Even if she had not chosen Sylvain, it did not mean that she would choose him.</p>
<p>He shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts from his mind. Clear the thought of her in a less than proper position with him. Clear the image of Miklan turning into a beast. Clear the sound of her slapping Sylvain.</p>
<p>He looked up to see her standing in the classroom. “Is your meeting over, Professor?” he asked, pretending that he had not witnessed the whole exchange.</p>
<p>“You look troubled,” she said. He could have said the same to her. Her brows were furrowed slightly and her fists were clenched. He wondered if she even realized it.</p>
<p>“I was just thinking about something,” he responded, his thoughts settling back on where they’d been when he’d first gone to the classroom. “Professor… The possession of Relics and Crests has been highly valued in Faerghus since ancient times. It’s far from uncommon for someone to lose their ability to lead their house because they don’t bear a Crest. Just like Miklan. It happened to my uncle as well. The eldest child of the king, and yet he never ascended to the throne. All families whose bloodlines carry the Crests of the Ten Elites are much the same. But House Gautier takes it a step further, and absolutely requires an heir who possesses a Crest.”</p>
<p>“Why House Gautier in particular?”</p>
<p>“To that house, the power of Crests is a necessity, not a luxury. House Gautier holds the most northern territory in the Kingdom, and they have fought with the people to the north for many years. The head of that house is responsible for protecting that territory from fearsome invaders, whom they keep at bay with the power of Crests and Relics. In exchange for that responsibility, they are granted special privileges within the Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“Strength is strength, with or without a Crest,” she responded.</p>
<p>It was true. While a Crest could provide strength, including the monstrous strength that he himself possessed courtesy of the Crest of Blaiddyd, that alone would not make one fearsome on the battlefield. But it was neither his skill with a lance nor his strength alone that made him formidable, just as it was not her skill with a sword or the Crest of Flames--the damn <i>Crest of Flames</i>--alone that made her so frightening a foe.</p>
<p>“I believe the same,” he agreed. “Ability cannot be measured by the possession of a Crest alone. I believe that Margrave Gautier was wrong to disinherit Miklan because he did not bear a Crest. Still, there is always a reason for why such customs stand the test of time. Imagine what this world would be like if no one placed any stock in Crests… Bloodlines that carry Crests would dwindle. The metaphorical blade used to oppose threats would eventually rust. This same argument has been made time and time again across the years. Both sides are at once right and wrong.”</p>
<p>“What do you believe, Dimitri?” she asked, her dark blue eyes--not hollow, but full of life--staring into his.</p>
<p>“I believe those with Crests and those without should acknowledge the others’ strength and learn to respect each other based on personal merits. And that doesn’t apply only to Crests. The same holds true for lineage, race, faith, ideologies… If we could just accept each other and make mutual concessions, one step at a time… Perhaps… Who knows if that’s even possible.” He paused as he thought.</p>
<p>The world was unjust, in too many ways to count. Crests and those without, the nobility and the poor… The slaughter of his own family, and then the slaughter of the people of Duscur that he was powerless to prevent. He wished desperately for a just world. But he knew that he was capable of doing horrible things in the pursuit of that, just as he had two years ago.</p>
<p>“Everyone has something that is unacceptable within them. I certainly do, and I’d wager you do as well.” He’d seen her cut foes down without hesitation, he’d once wondered if she was the same as him. “I wonder which is best, Professor… To cut away that which is unacceptable, or to find a way to accept it anyway…” He wondered now if it were possible for her to accept him anyway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Rumors of a Reaper</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions investigate Flayn's disappearance and help put a stop to an uprising in Duscur.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>Field of the Eagle and Lion will probably be a little bit shorter so depending on how much I get done this weekend I may have it up sooner with Flame in the Darkness coming on Friday, but a lot depends on how busy my workweek is too. Either way, the latest a new chapter will come out is next Friday! I'm starting to get into the stuff that I'm really excited to write though, so it's lots of fun!</p>
<p>I also just want to give a serious thank you to everyone for reading and for all of the comments and kudos! I was really nervous about posting this at first and now it's come to be something I really look forward to each week. Knowing that people are enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing this means the world to me, so thank you!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>The next day, I was summoned back to Rhea’s audience chamber. Seteth was standing beside her, but where he usually looked calm but stern, he looked distraught and disheveled. I dreaded what I was about to hear.</p>
<p>“As I believe you are already aware, Seteth’s younger sister, Flayn, has gone missing,” Rhea said, confirming what I had been dreading. “At present, all we know for certain is that she has not left Garreg Mach.”</p>
<p>Seteth was shaking his head. “Flayn is not the type of person to just wander off on her own without telling me where she is going! We have searched the monastery thoroughly, but have found nothing. I am now mobilizing the knights to begin searching the town. Troubling rumors have been running rampant lately. I do not wish to consider the worst, but…”</p>
<p>“What is it you’re afraid of?” I asked quietly. I was afraid of the answer.</p>
<p>“There are rumors of someone prowling the streets and attacking innocents, night after night,” Rhea confessed. “The knights have investigated the matter. They have not discovered any remains, nor have they found any concrete evidence.”</p>
<p>Seteth looked at her reproachfully. “The people are panicked! They all insist someone called the Death Knight is coming to claim their souls with his blade. There is no way she could have escaped unscathed if she were captured by such a fiend! Where is she?!”</p>
<p>My blood ran cold. I had hoped not to run into the Death Knight again after the Holy Mausoleum. And if he had somehow gotten his hands on Flayn… There was no time to lose.</p>
<p>“Seteth, recall that impatience begets error. Please do your best to calm yourself,” Rhea chided. “I think of your… sister as family as well. You know that. You have my support. We will devote ourselves fully--mind, body, and soul--to recovering her.” She turned to look at me. “Professor. Your mission for this month is to help find Flayn. The knights have the town covered, so I ask that you focus your efforts on searching the monastery again. We do not have time to waste. You have your orders.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri gathered the rest of the Blue Lions in the classroom at my request. “Flayn has disappeared? Seteth must be beside himself,” he said after I explained.</p>
<p>“So, finding little Flayn is our mission for this moon?” Sylvain pondered. “Leave it to me, Professor. Chasing after girls is my specialty.”</p>
<p>Ingrid glared at Sylvain. “Sylvain… Even you must agree that now isn’t the time for jokes.”</p>
<p>Annette nervously clasped her hands together. “I hope Flayn is okay. I’ve heard rumors about some Death Knight running around town…”</p>
<p>“Sounds intriguing,” Felix mused. “I had been hoping to cross blades with him.”</p>
<p>Ingrid turned her glare from Sylvain to Felix. “Felix! Please consider how Seteth must be feeling right now.”</p>
<p>Dimitri glanced amongst the rest of the class and then to me. “In any case, we must start our search at once. Every moment matters. On your order, Professor, let’s try to collect as much information as we can.”</p>
<p>I nodded, just hoping that we’d find a lead before we were too late.</p>
<hr/>
<p>We split up and searched all over the monastery that day, but nobody reported finding anything. It was late when I ran across Dedue still scouring for clues outside the dormitory. I was surprised to see him, thinking that the students had all turned in by now.</p>
<p>He turned to me. “I’m on the lookout for suspicious individuals. The only place I’ve yet to check is the library.”</p>
<p>“You should get some rest,” I told him.</p>
<p>“As you wish,” he said, and then quickly followed it up, “After I check the library.”</p>
<p>“We’ll go together then,” I relented.</p>
<p>When we reached the library, light was spilling out into the hallway.</p>
<p>“Candlelight… And who is that?” Dedue wondered aloud.</p>
<p>“Is it Flayn?” I asked hopefully, although I doubted we would be so lucky.</p>
<p>“No, it isn’t.” He paused. “Impossible…” he said quietly as we entered the library.</p>
<p>His tone had me reaching for my dagger. I’d just closed my hand around the hilt when Dimitri approached from where he’d been standing farther in.</p>
<p>“Professor. Dedue,” he greeted us. “What are you up to at this hour?”</p>
<p>I did not mention that I could ask him the same question as I withdrew my fingers from the weapon.</p>
<p>“Your Highness! My apologies,” Dedue said as he bowed deeply.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “Oh, none necessary. I’m sorry for starting you. I was just doing some research. But I’m just about finished. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. We’d better head back to our quarters, Dedue.” He gave me a nod. “Until tomorrow, Professor.”</p>
<p>As they walked away, Sothis chimed in, <i>A most unusual man! Whatever could he have been looking for so late at night? Hm? That book is quite askew… He must have rushed to put it back on the shelf.</i></p>
<p>I checked behind me to make sure Dimitri and Dedue were gone before walking over to the shelf and pulling the book down. There was an earmarked page that I quickly flipped to and scanned.</p>
<p><i>It seems to be a record of donations from nobility. Arundel… That’s not a name I know,</i> Sothis pondered. It was not a name I knew either. <i>But look at that! This Arundel gave quite a sum each year… That is, until the year 1174. He must have died or fallen to financial woe. Hmm… I can’t imagine what this has to do with Flayn.</i></p>
<p>I couldn’t think of a connection to Flayn either. I’d always thought my father one for secrets, but it seemed that the prince was too. I wondered what it would take to earn his trust.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning, the search continued. Sothis was urging me on the moment I rose from my bed. <i>Oh my… Just one small girl who’s gone astray has caused all this. We cannot let this stand. You must do all you can to find out where she’s gone. Now ask around to see what information you can find. Come now! No time to waste!</i></p>
<p>Dimitri was waiting for me outside the dining hall. “When I consider how Seteth must be feeling, my heart breaks. We must find Flayn as soon as possible. There are no signs of her having left the monastery, but we cannot safely rule out any possibility just yet.” He shook his head. “I’m wasting precious time standing about trying to think of a solution. I’ll survey the monastery and see what information I can gather. There must be someone who has a clue as to Flayn’s whereabouts. Let’s meet back up in the classroom this afternoon to discuss our findings.”</p>
<p>Claude fell into step with me as I walked back towards the dormitories. “Yikes, Teach,” he said, shaking his head. “Flayn’s gone missing? Where could she be? If it were an ordinary kidnapping, you’d think there’d be a demand for ransom or something by now. I don’t like the sound of this…”</p>
<p>“I’m worried,” I agreed.</p>
<p>He clapped me on the shoulder. “Well, we’re all searching too. You let me know if you need anything, yeah?”</p>
<p>I nodded and he peeled off towards the Golden Deer classroom.</p>
<p>And so began a morning of running around the monastery and speaking to everyone I could, seeing if anyone might have seen or heard anything that could point towards Flayn’s whereabouts.</p>
<p>Ingrid was wary of Gilbert, thinking she recognized him somehow and noting that she’d seen him watching Annette intently. When I confronted Gilbert, he revealed that he was once a knight in service of the Kingdom’s royal family and confirmed that he was indeed Annette’s father, but declined to share any more than that. It was enough to explain where Ingrid may have recognized him from, though.</p>
<p>Petra had expressed concerns about Shamir, but upon talking to Shamir she revealed that she was a mercenary originally from Dagda. Being a mercenary was something I understood, and she certainly revealed nothing that would qualify as a motive for kidnapping Flayn.</p>
<p>Linhardt suggested speaking with Hanneman to get information on Flayn’s Crest, but that proved to be a cold lead as well when Hanneman informed me that while Flayn’s Crest, the Crest of Cethleann, was rare, it was not so rare to justify her disappearance.</p>
<p>When I ran into Sylvain during my searching, he was nursing his cheek, but not the one I had slapped days before. “I think Ingrid slaps even harder than you,” he said when I approached. “All I did was suggest that Flayn had eloped…”</p>
<p>“Is that a possibility?” I asked. I’d certainly never seen Flayn speaking to anyone that looked like a lover, but I was growing desperate.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I was just suggesting things, then suddenly I was seeing stars and Ingrid was yelling at me.”</p>
<p>“Let me know if you find anything,” I told him and turned to leave.</p>
<p>“Professor, wait.”</p>
<p>I turned back to look at him.</p>
<p>“I know we’re all busy searching for Flayn, but I just wanted to tell you that I really am sorry for the other night. I was way out of line. I promise it won’t happen again.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” I told him. I couldn’t pretend to understand what he had gone through with the loss of his brother. For a very long time, my father had been the only person I cared about, and I’d never known my mother. I couldn’t pretend to understand what it would be like to lose a family member, even one that Sylvain clearly had a complicated history with.</p>
<p>“Thanks, Professor,” Sylvain said with what looked like an actual smile, not the sly ones he usually flashed. “And if you wouldn’t mind… Don’t tell Ingrid about it. I think she’d actually kill me.” He paused. “You know, don’t tell His Highness either. I think he’d be even scarier than Ingrid.”</p>
<p>I could understand Ingrid being furious with Sylvain, because she was always trying to rein him in. But the idea that Dimitri would be upset gave me pause. Dimitri, who had been the person on my mind when Sylvain’s hands were on me. “Why would Dimitri care?” I asked.</p>
<p>Sylvain’s sly smile was back. “He wouldn’t just care, he’d be absolutely furious. And with that brute strength of his, he might actually knock the life right out of me. Now let’s focus on finding Flayn, shall we?”</p>
<p>I sighed, relenting that I wasn’t going to pry anything more out of Sylvain, and noting that he was right. As much as I wanted to press him about his comment on the prince, Flayn was the higher priority, so I resumed my investigating.</p>
<p>Felix was concerned about Jeritza, noting that he seemed to be wielding his blade more impulsively than usual. He admitted that it wasn’t much more than a hunch to go on, and I couldn’t find Jeritza to question him.</p>
<p>Leonie pointed me in the direction of Tomas, noting that the librarian had been asking not just about Flayn, but also about my father and I. When I cornered Tomas and demanded to know why he’d been inquiring about us, he brushed it off, saying it would be only natural to be curious about my father, who looked unchanged in twenty years.</p>
<p>I’d gone to ask my father if he knew anything about the librarian looking into us when he mentioned seeing Manuela pass by in a hurry carrying a mask.</p>
<p>I froze. I knew of only one person in the monastery who wore a mask. “Jeritza’s mask?” I asked.</p>
<p>“I’m not close to the guy, so I can’t say for sure. But come to think of it, you could be right,” he finally said with a nod.</p>
<p>I rushed back to the classroom as quickly as I could and explained what I’d heard to Dimitri.</p>
<p>He considered for a moment. “I agree that Professor Jeritza’s behavior is odd. We should ask him directly. I expect he’ll be at the training grounds or in his quarters.”</p>
<p>When he wasn’t in the training grounds, we exchanged a glance. “Gather the class and let’s meet at his room,” I said. Something about the whole situation made me nervous. “I’m going to get my sword.”</p>
<p>When we regrouped outside Jeritza’s quarters, I raised my hand and knocked, but as I did so, the door fell open. Inside, a figure was sprawled across the floor.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that…” Dimitri said, shocking crossing his features as he ran in. “Professor Manuela!”</p>
<p>Annette kneeled down at her side, gently shaking her. “Professor Manuela! Please wake up! Professor Manuela!”</p>
<p>“Is she… dead?” I asked.</p>
<p>Dimitri knelt down beside Annette. “She’s still breathing… but she needs medical attention immediately!”</p>
<p>Annette suddenly interjected, “Look! Do you see Professor Manuela’s hand? It’s like she’s pointing at something…”</p>
<p>Annette was right. Manuela’s hand was pointing towards a shelf at the far wall. The shelf looked out of place, like it had been hastily shoved back into its position against the wall.</p>
<p>“I see it! Behind that shelf! Could it be a secret passage?” Dimitri wondered.</p>
<p>“What is the meaning of…” Hanneman’s voice sounded behind us. “Wait, is that Manuela? What happened here? We must take her to the infirmary immediately.” He gestured towards Dimitri wildly. “You! Don’t just stand there! Help me carry her.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Dimitri said. He knelt down and scooped Manuela’s limp form up effortlessly. “I’ll return shortly, Professor.” He stared at me for a second before Hanneman ushered him out the door.</p>
<p>Annette stood and looked at me. “Do you think this is related to Flayn’s disappearance?”</p>
<p>I nodded. It had to be.</p>
<p>“What should we do, Professor?” Dedue asked, turning to me.</p>
<p>I looked back towards the shelf. “Let’s investigate.”</p>
<p>Dedue and I shoved the shelf out of the way together, revealing a passage. If Flayn was in there, we didn’t have time to waste.</p>
<p>“It looks dark… uh… dark in there,” Annette whined.</p>
<p>“Aw, you’ve always been scared of dark places, haven’t you, Annie? But don’t worry! The professor and I will protect you,” Mercedes said gently.</p>
<p>Dedue looked back at me. “There are sounds coming from within. If we’re going to investigate, now is the time.”</p>
<p>“We’ll be okay, I’m sure of it. Are you ready, Professor?” Mercedes asked.</p>
<p>I drew the Sword of the Creator from my side and nodded. And then I led the students into the passage.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“What is this place?” Annette whined as we reached a small room. “It’s so… BAH!” She suddenly yelled. “I see someone! I think… they’re unconscious.”</p>
<p>“Is it Flayn?” I demanded.</p>
<p>“Yes, I see Flayn!” Ingrid confirmed. “But… who is this other person?”</p>
<p>Relief flooded through me. Flayn was lying there unconscious, along with the crumpled form of a girl with bright red hair.</p>
<p>“Professor! Someone’s coming from farther in!” Annette warned. Her face paled. “Is that the knight who attacked the Holy Mausoleum?”</p>
<p>I caught sight of glowing red eyes and the light that filtered into the passage glinted off the fangs of the skull shaped mask. I raised the Sword of the Creator in front of me and took a step forward. I glanced back at the Blue Lions gathered behind me. “Get the girls and get out,” I ordered.</p>
<p>Felix’s hand went to the hilt of his sword.</p>
<p>I shook my head. “I mean it, Felix! Get out!” I yelled at him.</p>
<p>Something in my tone must have communicated my fear. His hand stopped. “Okay, Professor. Don’t you dare lose.”</p>
<p>I nodded and turned away from the students. And then I rushed forward to face the Death Knight. He chuckled deeply as the blade of his scythe met the edge of my sword.</p>
<p>“One of us will die, the other will live. I will enjoy this dance of damnation,” he growled at me. It sent a chill running down my spine.</p>
<p>As I caught his next blow, I stole a glance behind me to see Flayn and the red-haired girl being hauled back up the passage. A breath of relief escaped me as the girls fell into safe hands, but the glance had cost me as that breath turned into a gasp and pain seared across my abdomen as the scythe cut deeply into me. I reached for the pulse of time and wound things back to when I had first glanced back. I was able to adjust the angle of my sword enough so that the scythe sliced across my thigh rather than splitting me open. Hot blood spilled down my leg.</p>
<p>“That won’t do,” the Death Knight said. “I’d like to command your full attention.”</p>
<p>I grit my teeth and swung at him again. We’d both landed several superficial wounds on each other when red light flashed in the passage and a figure appeared behind the Death Knight.</p>
<p>The figure wore billowing black robes that split open at each leg to reveal heavy armor. Armor adorned the shoulders as well, with red ribbons falling from the shoulder pauldrons and tall, red feathers sticking up on either side of those same pauldrons. The figure wore a full-face helmet, the face was a mask of white and red paint and at the top of the head a long red feather flared up and then fell to the ground.</p>
<p>“Halt,” the figure commanded the Death Knight. The voice sounded distorted somehow. “You’re having too much fun.”</p>
<p>I held my sword defensively in front of me and tried to ignore the throbbing of the wound in my thigh.</p>
<p>“You are getting in the way of my game,” the Death Knight complained.</p>
<p>“Hmph. You’ll have more opportunities to play soon,” the figure consoled. “Your work here is done.”</p>
<p>“Understood,” the Death Knight reluctantly consented. “I will go…”</p>
<p>I whipped the Sword of the Creator out in front of me, letting it unfurl to its full length, hoping to catch the Death Knight, but the blade clanged against the walls of the passage as he disappeared in a flash of red light.</p>
<p>The figure lingered, staring in my direction. “We will cross paths again. I am the Flame Emperor… It is I who will reforge the world.” And then they, too, disappeared in a flash of red light.</p>
<p>White light flared across the wounds on my thighs and arms. The bleeding stopped and the aching subsided. I swung around to see Mercedes with her hands outstretched. “Flame Emperor and the Death Knight? I have to say, they both looked very dangerous.”</p>
<p>Ingrid was at her side. “Where did they go?” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s get you out of here, Professor.”</p>
<p>I knew I should be furious at them. They had disobeyed me and come back for me, putting themselves in danger for my sake. But instead of fury, I was left with a warm feeling in my chest. I let them lead me back up the passage into Jeritza’s room where the Blue Lions were waiting with Flayn and the other girl. Felix, however, was missing.</p>
<p>Mercedes knelt down and began examining the girls. “Thank goodness. These girls are pale as ghosts, but at least they’re alive.” She frowned. “But that Death Knight person… feels so familiar.”</p>
<p>Before she could say more, the door to Jeritza’s room flew open with such force that the hinges groaned and bent. I was surprised it was still attached at all. Dimitri came running in, his hair disheveled and his face flushed as if he’d sprinted across the entire monastery to get back here. He quickly glanced around. “You found Flayn?! Thank goodness!”</p>
<p>Felix trailed in behind him and I realized that he must have gone to get Dimitri to implore him to hurry when I had engaged the Death Knight.</p>
<p>“She was unconscious at the end of that secret passage. We found the culprit too… but he got away,” Annette reported.</p>
<p>“I almost had him,” I said bitterly.</p>
<p>But Dimitri was staring at me and shaking his head. “I’m just grateful that everyone is safe. That’s what matters most.” He tore his eyes from me and looked back at the others. “I’d like to hear what transpired, but first we need to get these ladies to the infirmary.”</p>
<p>“Understood,” Dedue said with a bow. “We’ll go at once.”</p>
<p>After the others had gathered up Flayn and the red-haired girl and left, Dimitri’s posture sagged as he stared at me. “I’m… I’m sorry, Professor. I’m so relieved, I suddenly felt weak.”</p>
<p>From the way he was looking at me, I wondered if the relief was from the fact that Flayn was safe or that I was. The thought left a fluttering feeling in the pit of my stomach and my blood felt like it was hot in my veins.</p>
<p>“I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. And no one will be more overjoyed than Seteth,” he said, and then he stopped. His eyes widened as he stared at me. “Hey, Professor? Can you make that expression one more time?”</p>
<p>I blinked. I had smiled. I hadn’t even realized it was an unconscious thing. But after smiling for the first time, I realized that it wasn’t something that was controlled. It just happened. And when I met his gaze, I couldn’t help but smile again. “Like this?” I asked shyly.</p>
<p>His expression lit up with surprise and delight. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face like that,” he confessed and then shook his head with a light laugh. “I apologize. I’ve forgotten myself and come dangerously close to teasing you. It’s just… I’ve never seen you look so happy before. It’s downright mesmerizing.”</p>
<p>I felt heat creep up my neck and into my cheeks. Dimitri quickly turned away from me, but it wasn’t quickly enough to hide the tinge of pink that had touched his own cheeks. For the first time in my life, I felt truly beautiful. Not in the way that distracted men on the battlefield, but in the way that someone might find me… mesmerizing. And for the first time in my life, there was someone that I <i>wanted</i> to find me mesmerizing.</p>
<p>“Ah, but this isn’t the time for idle chitchat. We must hurry and share the good news with Seteth!” he continued.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next day I was summoned to Seteth’s office. I’d seen him the day before, but he was in such a hurry to see Flayn that he hadn’t gotten out more than a choked thank you.</p>
<p>When I arrived, I was shocked to see him bow to me. “Professor, no, Byleth… Please allow me to express my eternal gratitude once more. Flayn is safe and sound, and I have you to thank for that. Mere words could never express how thankful I am. I… I am indebted to you.”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “I’m just happy she’s safe.”</p>
<p>“Yes, indeed. I… I, too, am overjoyed,” he said, but something about the gleam in his eyes told me that he was not going to drop his idea of owing a debt.</p>
<p>I leveled him with a hard stare. “But why was Flayn taken to begin with?”</p>
<p>He took a breath and for a second I thought he wasn’t going to tell me. But something had clearly shifted in our relationship since Flayn’s safe retrieval, because he nodded and began, “As you know, her kidnapper was the masked knight who vanished during the Rite of Rebirth. The one known as the Death Knight. Considering the circumstances, it seems plausible to assume that his true identity is Jeritza. And we cannot forget about the mysterious Flame Emperor… His true motives are yet unclear.” He paused. “However, I have an idea. I believe the enemy may have been after Flayn’s blood. The blood that flows through her veins is special. It is extremely rare… and extremely dangerous. If enemies who know the secret of Flayn’s blood have appeared, our only option is to leave the monastery and go into hiding.” He looked at me with sad eyes.</p>
<p>“Brother, wait,” Flayn said as she appeared behind us.</p>
<p>“Flayn?! What are you doing here?” Seteth demanded, flustered as only Flayn seemed able to do to him. “You should be resting!”</p>
<p>“I do not like the path of your thoughts. I do not wish to live in some lonely, remote location where I never get to see anyone. Not ever again,” Flayn challenged sharply.</p>
<p>I blinked as the implication of her words settled in. I had not been isolated to that extent, but I knew very well that I would be lonely if I were to return to the way that I had been.</p>
<p>Seteth folded his arms across his chest. “If we stay here, you may be targeted again! Wouldn’t it be better for the two of us to live in peace?”</p>
<p>Flayn shook her head. “Even if we ran off to some new, secret location, there is no guarantee that they would not find us. That is why I believe it would be safest to stay in the monastery, where we are surrounded by capable knights and professors.”</p>
<p>Seteth seemed to consider her words. “I see your point, I do. However…”</p>
<p>Flayn cut him off. “You know it’s only reasonable. What if I were to join Professor Byleth’s class?” She turned to look at me.</p>
<p>I slowly nodded. It actually wasn’t a terrible idea. I would be able to keep a closer eye on her. “That’s a great idea,” I finally said.</p>
<p>Flayn grinned at me. “You think so too? I am so very pleased to hear that! With a professor like you nearby, I shall be safe no matter what foe should appear!”</p>
<p>“I see. I am afraid you do have a good point,” Seteth said to Flayn and then turned to me. “Professor… Due to my position, I have closely scrutinized everything about you. After all that has happened, I must admit that you are indeed… a trusted ally. So, what say you? Can I entrust you with Flayn’s safety?”</p>
<p>I smiled. “It would be my pleasure.”</p>
<p><i>I am so glad that Flayn is safe,</i> Sothis said with a breath of relief. <i>Yet I can’t help but wonder what the story is about the other girl. She wore the uniform of the academy. But who is she?</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning, Hanneman and I stood before Rhea in her audience chamber.</p>
<p>“Well done, Professor. I see that I was right to ask your class for assistance,” she said. “I have been told that Manuela and Flayn are recovering nicely, as is Monica.”</p>
<p>“Who is Monica?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Monica, the girl you rescued along with Flayn, is also a student at the Officers Academy,” Rhea responded. “However…”</p>
<p>“She is a student from last year’s class,” Hanneman finished. “She went missing just before she would have graduated. It never occurred to us that something might have happened to her at the monastery. We assumed she had run away. I never dreamed we would find her. Not like this.”</p>
<p>Rhea continued, “Monica has asked to rejoin the Black Eagle House once she has fully recovered. Our enemies are still out there, so we must remain cautious and continue our investigation. However, we must also help the students move on from this incident.”</p>
<p>“After all, the Battle of the Eagle and Lion will be held in Gronder Field next month,” Hanneman added excitedly.</p>
<p>“Yes. The students will remember it for the rest of their lives. Please guide them so they may show us their best at the coming battle,” Rhea said in a clear dismissal.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I met my father in his office after departing the audience chamber.</p>
<p>“So, you’ll be going to Gronder Field next month,” he said after I filled him in on my meeting with Rhea. “You’ve never been there before, have you?”</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>“There is unease in the western side of the Empire, but everything east of the capital, Enbarr, is stable. Well, there was a noble rebellion a short while ago, but it didn’t amount to much,” he explained. I’d almost forgotten that Gronder Field was in Empire territory.</p>
<p>“Will you come to the Battle of the Eagle and Lion?” I asked hopefully.</p>
<p>My father frowned and shook his head. He glanced towards the door and then back at me. “Sorry, but I’ve got my own mission, and it’s far from Gronder Field. What I’m more concerned about is finding out who among us is pulling the strings. Ever since the Rite of Rebirth, strange groups have been seen around Garreg Mach, and elsewhere too. There was also an incident where some knights investigating these suspicious strangers… turned up dead.” His stare turned heavy. “Not that it’s likely, but if something ever happens to me… Search this room. Every corner. Behind every shelf. I’m going to leave something for you.”</p>
<p>I refused to even entertain the idea of something happening to my father. “Don’t say things like that,” I scolded him.</p>
<p>Jeralt gave me a small smile. “Don’t get me wrong. I have no intention of dying. I know it would be too much to ask you to cheer up, but can you at least drop the serious…” He trailed off with a surprised laugh. “Well, I’ll be. Was that a smile just now?”</p>
<p>It was.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The month was quiet in the wake of rescuing Flayn until Dimitri and Dedue approached me one morning.</p>
<p>“Professor,” Dimitri greeted me, his expression serious. “Dedue is already aware, but you should know there’s been an uprising in the Duscur region, in the western part of the Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“An uprising in Duscur? Why?” I asked.</p>
<p>Dimitri glanced at Dedue. “Dedue… Would you like me to explain?”</p>
<p>Dedue shook his head. “No, it should be me.” He turned to look at me. “As you know, I am from Duscur. It lies just beyond the mountains of the northwestern border of Faerghus. But the people of Duscur no longer live there. The land was burned to ashes by the army of Faerghus. All of the people were slaughtered.” He closed his eyes. “This was our punishment for the crime of regicide.”</p>
<p>Dimitri let out a heavy sigh, a deep crease furrowing his brows.</p>
<p>Dedue continued, “The barren expanse that was once Duscur is now controlled by a Kingdom noble. But Duscur survivors, such as myself, still exist outside the region. This uprising is most likely the work of such survivors, seeking to reclaim their homeland.”</p>
<p>Dimitri took over the explanation from there. “A request for aid was sent from Viscount Kleiman to the Kingdom capital and the church. He is the one who rules over that region at present. For now, the lords surrounding the Duscur region have sent their armies to suppress the uprising. However…”</p>
<p>“Is there a problem?” I asked when he trailed off.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “They have sufficient troops, and strong ones at that. My worry is that there will be more unwarranted death. There have always been many in the Kingdom’s army who believe the people of Duscur our foes, and hate them because of it. You would think they’d refrain from squashing the rebels out of political expediency… but I doubt that will be the case. If the Kingdom’s army and the rebel forces of Duscur collide, there is no doubt that the rebel forces will be annihilated. I’m afraid… that’s the best case scenario. It could also turn into complete and bloody chaos for both sides.”</p>
<p>Dedue sighed. “Indeed.”</p>
<p>Dimitri looked back to me. “Seeing as we have no mission for this month, I asked the church for permission to deploy our class to help handle the situation. But we still have a responsibility as students of the academy. The only one who can truly make the decision as to whether or not we go is our professor. So… What do you say?”</p>
<p>I shouldn’t have been surprised that the kind, compassionate prince would want to do everything he could to avoid bloodshed. It had been him, after all, who had made me wonder if there was a path other than violence. “Of course,” I responded.</p>
<p>“You have my most sincere gratitude,” Dedue said with a bow of his head.</p>
<p>“And mine as well,” Dimitri said with a small smile. “But we must move fast. I will go and alert the others.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was a long march to the northwestern edge of the continent and we set a hard pace, hoping to make it before the uprising was quelled without us. It was lucky that it was the Horsebow Moon and we didn't have the brutal Faerghus winter slowing us down, although the nights were already growing cold. In some ways, it was like being thrown back to my mercenary days, traveling along and camping in the woods on our way between jobs. But back then, I hadn't really been a part of the group. I'd interacted with my father and no one else. </p>
<p>Even with the urgency of Dimitri's request hanging over us, the time traveling with the Blue Lions was... fun. The prince had once asked me if I would share in their joy, and I found that I was doing just that. Flayn had even been permitted to join us after I'd promised Seteth that I wouldn't let her out of my sight.</p>
<p>We'd each taken a turn at cooking duty until Flayn prepared a meal so disastrous that only Dimitri was polite enough to eat it. After that, Dedue and Ashe had agreed to split the remaining days between the two of them, which nobody complained about as they were both fantastic chefs, with Dedue preparing special cuisine from Duscur.</p>
<p>Mercedes passed the time in the evenings sharing ghost stories, much to the chagrin of Annette and Ashe. Annette insisted on sleeping curled up next to Mercedes as a result. Sothis, on the other hand, greatly enjoyed the ghost stories.</p>
<p>Felix shared a story one night about Dimitri swinging a sword so hard when he was nine years old that it snapped clean in two. Dimitri had not looked pleased at the story being shared, and Felix admitted that it had been a favorite story of his older brother, Glenn.</p>
<p>Ingrid then joined in to share a story of Sylvain flirting with her grandmother when he was younger. Sylvain had protested, only for Ingrid to follow it up with a story of him flirting with a scarecrow. I wasn't sure that I had ever laughed before that night, but as the laughter broke from me, I caught Dimitri smiling at me.</p>
<p>As we got closer to Duscur, I even caught Ingrid apologizing to Dedue one night after dinner.</p>
<hr/>
<p>By the time we reached the border of Faerghus and Duscur, the Kingdom’s vanguard had already arrived. But we were still ahead of the main army, and luck was on our side as the Kingdom’s forces did not appear to be cooperating with the church’s forces. Our only hope to avoid a massacre was to move through as a guerilla force and get the Duscur rebels to retreat before they could engage the Kingdom’s soldiers.</p>
<p>So that was exactly what we did. We charged through, moving as quickly as we could, aiming to disarm rather than disable. Dedue urged his countrymen to flee as we clashed. Against our onslaught, they relented.</p>
<p>Dimitri had gone to ensure that the Kingdom army retreated after the rebels retreated, and Dedue had gone to ensure his people really fled. It was not an ideal situation, and I felt for the people of Duscur, but we had at least managed to avoid bloodshed. It was the first time I had stepped onto a battlefield and not left a trail of corpses in my wake, the first time that my aim had truly been to save lives rather than to take lives.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>Finally, after months of searching late into the night, he’d found a lead. Or at least more evidence to back up his current suspicions. Lord Arundel had given generously to the church until the year 1174, the same year he had left the Kingdom and returned to the Empire. Two years later, that day had occurred.</p>
<p>The sound of footsteps in the hallway leading to the library drew him from his thoughts. Nobody should have been up at this hour, that was precisely why he was here now, not that he slept well anyway. He hastily turned down the corner of the page and shoved the book back on the shelf.</p>
<p>He turned to leave as hushed voices met his ears and he came face to face with Dedue and the professor.</p>
<p>“Professor. Dedue,” he greeted them. “What are you up to at this hour?”</p>
<p>Her hand was pulling away from that damn dagger. If he were home in Fhirdiad, perhaps he could research the records of the royal guard as well. But what he was searching for here was far more important.</p>
<p>“Your Highness! My apologies,” Dedue said with a deep bow.</p>
<p>He missed when Dedue used to call him by his name rather than his title. He’d brought the man to the academy with him as a friend, not as a vassal. A life that he’d actually been able to save. But Dedue still insisted on falling into the vassal role.</p>
<p>“Oh, none necessary,” Dimitri responded with a shake of his head. “I’m sorry for startling you. I was just doing some research. But I’m just about finished. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. We’d better head back to our quarters, Dedue.” He nodded to the professor. Startled was probably an understatement when she’d been ready to draw her dagger. “Until tomorrow, Professor.”</p>
<p><i>Remember your duty,</i> his father said.</p>
<p>He hurried away with Dedue. While Dedue was sure to know this was a regular occurrence due to his constant fretting over Dimitri’s every move, he did not need the professor knowing that he spent most of his nights this way. He couldn’t have anything get in the way of this research.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Dimitri.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t the urgency in Felix’s voice that had Dimitri whirling around to see the swordsman standing in the doorway of the infirmary, chest heaving and out of breath like he’d sprinted all the way there. It was the fact that he heard his own name from his old friend rather than boar or beast.</p>
<p>Felix didn’t wait for a verbal response before continuing, “She’s fighting the Death Knight.”</p>
<p>“She… What?! Alone?” Dimitri demanded.</p>
<p>Felix nodded.</p>
<p>Hanneman had started to say something, but Dimitri wasn’t listening. He wasn’t paying attention to anyone or anything. He was hurtling down the hallway, rushing for the stairs. Sprinting as fast as he could to get back to Jeritza’s room. He didn’t even have a weapon on him, but it didn’t matter. He’d fight with his bare hands if he had to.</p>
<p>It was with that thought in his mind that he threw the door to Jeritza’s room open so hard that he almost tore the hinges from the wall. But the Death Knight was not there. The Blue Lions were gathered around Flayn and another unconscious girl, and his professor was standing there, safe and sound.</p>
<p>There were several tears in her tights where the remnants of lacerations that had clearly been tended to by Mercedes could be seen and blood stained the lace, but she was alive, and did not appear to be wounded otherwise. He was certain his heart had skipped a beat when he saw her, and now, relief flooded through him as he willed his heart to slow to a steady rhythm.</p>
<p>“You found Flayn?! Thank goodness!” he said as his gaze settled back on the two girls on the ground, pretending that he had sprinted all this way from news of her safe recovery and not the idea that his professor might be in danger.</p>
<p>“She was unconscious at the end of that secret passage. We found the culprit too… but he got away,” Annette said.</p>
<p>“I almost had him,” the professor added.</p>
<p>The culprit was the Death Knight. He stared at her, shaking his head. She was upset that she hadn’t managed to capture him, he was upset that she had engaged him at all. “I’m just grateful that everyone is safe. That’s what matters most.” He was grateful that <i>she</i> was safe. “I’d like to hear what transpired, but first we need to get these ladies to the infirmary.”</p>
<p>“Understood,” Dedue said with a dutiful bow. “We’ll go at once.”</p>
<p>“I’m… I’m sorry, Professor. I’m so relieved, I suddenly felt weak,” he said to her once his classmates had taken the girls and left. He easily could have carried them both with one arm. He could easily lift a horse with one arm. But he couldn’t bear the thought of stepping away from her right now. “I couldn’t be happier with how things turned out. And no one will be more overjoyed than Seteth.”</p>
<p>Every thought went out of his head as he stared at her. For a second, she had <i>smiled</i>. He was certain of it. “Hey, Professor? Can you make that expression one more time?”</p>
<p>“Like this?” she asked, her tone timid in a way he’d never heard before. </p>
<p>Her stony mask fell away, and with it every wall Dimitri had built around his heart crumbled. She’d been beautiful before, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. But when she smiled, she was positively radiant.</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face like that.” He shook his head, trying to collect himself as he chuckled. “I apologize. I’ve forgotten myself and come dangerously close to teasing you.” He’d nearly forgotten his own name. He’d nearly forgotten how to breathe. “It’s just… I’ve never seen you look so happy before. It’s downright mesmerizing.”</p>
<p>The words were out before he could stop them. Oh, goddess, her cheeks had flushed, turning a pink that complimented the color of her lips. He quickly turned away. If he stared at her a second longer, he was certain that he would do something very foolish. “Ah, but this isn’t the time for idle chitchat. We must hurry and share the good news with Seteth!”</p>
<p>Anything to get him out of this room with her as he imagined what it might be like to kiss the lips that had graced him with that smile.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Rhea had granted his request, and more than that, the professor had too. She’d immediately agreed to go and they’d set out for Duscur, to try and prevent another massacre. She’d given him a great gift in agreeing to go, and she’d given him another when he’d heard her laugh one night as they camped.</p>
<p>And when they’d finally reached the border of Duscur, she had unleashed herself in battle in a way he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen. Carefully disabling the rebel forces as they urged them to flee.</p>
<p>After ensuring that the Kingdom army had retreated, he joined Dedue who was speaking to the general of the Duscur forces.</p>
<p>“The Kingdom army has retreated to the fortress. There should be no further danger,” he reported.</p>
<p>“Prince of Faerghus! You monster!” the general snarled at him.</p>
<p>That was true for many reasons, but not for this. Dimitri was grateful for the lives they’d been able to save.</p>
<p>“Can you still run?” he asked the general. “Then I suggest you do so now. Your people are waiting for you on the other side. Remain hidden from the Kingdom army.”</p>
<p>The general stared at him.</p>
<p>“May our paths cross again,” Dedue told the man.</p>
<p>The man turned to leave. “I certainly hope not. But remember this one thing. The people of Duscur never forget their grudges. Nor do they fail to honor favors.”</p>
<p>After the general left, Dedue turned to him and bowed. “Thank you, Your Highness, for accommodating my selfish request.”</p>
<p>“Think nothing of it,” Dimitri assured him. “This was something I wished for as well. If you must give thanks, direct it at the church for allowing us to join the battle, and to our professor for leading the charge. It’s about time we headed back. The professor and the others are waiting.”</p>
<p>“I am right behind you,” Dedue responded.</p>
<p>And as Dimitri made his way back to the group with the man who was like a brother to him, he found he was looking forward to the trip back. He was starting to look forward to a lot of things.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Field of the Eagle and Lion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions compete against the other houses in the Battle of the Eagle and Lion.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>Field of the Eagle and Lion did not really end up being any shorter... But I still managed to get it done a little early, so here it is! And I will still have The Flame in the Darkness up on Friday evening, it's gone off to my friend who proofreads before they make it up here. After that, with how long The Cause of Sorrow is, I'll probably be back on my weekly schedule for a little bit. But things are getting into the fun parts, so we'll see how fast I can go!</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p>
<p>Side note - is it courteous to respond to everyone's comments or is it more obnoxious to blow everyone up with notifications? I will gladly respond to everyone because I seriously am sooo excited that people are enjoying this and don't want to be rude by not responding, but I also don't want to be annoying!! I'm a little new to this whole actually sharing my writing thing, so not sure what the expectation is.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>“The Battle of the Eagle and Lion is finally upon us! This is our chance to show off the results of your expert training, Professor,” Dimitri said excitedly. He, Dedue, and I were gathered in the entrance hall. We’d made it back from our journey to Duscur several days before, just in time for the start of the Wyvern Moon.</p>
<p>“Everyone keeps talking about it, but I’m afraid I don’t know exactly what it is,” I admitted sheepishly.</p>
<p>“Have Lady Rhea and Seteth really not filled you in?” Dimitri shook his head in disbelief. “Well, if that’s the case, I’m happy to explain. The Battle of the Eagle and Lion takes place every year during the Wyvern Moon. Its name comes from the war in which the Kingdom won its independence from the Empire. It can best be described as a mock battle between the three houses. We must live up to the legacy of the King of Lions!”</p>
<p>“A mock battle much like the one we had during the Great Tree Moon,” Dedue added. “Do you remember, Professor?”</p>
<p>“I remember our victory celebration most of all,” I said with a smile. Dimitri had insisted that I go along, the first time I’d ever been a part of a group like that.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s face lit up. “It was certainly an unforgettable time. I’ve never seen someone put away as much victory food as you did that night, Professor!” I felt heat creep into my cheeks, but he continued with his explanation. “The battle will take place in Empire territory, at Gronder Field. In other words, far from the monastery. It’s a mock battle between the three houses. The house that defeats the most opponents wins.”</p>
<p>Dedue looked at Dimitri. “Your Highness, if the rumors are true, I believe Professor Manuela and Professor Hanneman will not be joining us.”</p>
<p>“Ah, yes, right you are,” Dimitri confirmed. “Given recent events, Professor Manuela has opted to sit this one out. Since she won’t be present, Professor Hanneman has decided to skip this year as well.”</p>
<p>“I wonder if I should sit out as well,” I said with a frown. It didn’t seem right for me to join the fray as the only professor, no matter how much I wanted to.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t worry about us. You know you wanna see the kids in action,” Manuela cooed from behind me as she and Hanneman joined us.</p>
<p>“Professor Manuela! Are you feeling better already?” Dimitri asked.</p>
<p>“Thanks to all of you. But I’d only be a burden out there. My students don’t need to see me collapsed. Well, not on the battlefield, anyway,” Manuela replied, with a less than subtle reference to her love for alcohol.</p>
<p>“In that case, perhaps it is best that you sit this one out,” Dedue said politely.</p>
<p>“Correct, we will not be participating,” Hanneman said. “Regardless, do not expect victory to come easily. Or at all.”</p>
<p>Manuela nodded. “Well put. We’ve spent the past few months pushing our students to their limits. You can see me in the infirmary after they destroy you.”</p>
<p>I shook my head. Even with their threats hanging in the air, it seemed like a distinct advantage to let me fight among my own class. “This doesn’t seem fair…”</p>
<p>Manuela clicked her tongue. “Oh my, look at you. If you’re as confident as all that, my students will walk all over you.”</p>
<p>Hanneman clapped me on the shoulder. “We have taught our students well. There is no need to hold back. Challenge them with everything you have!”</p>
<p>They were insisting, and so I would. And I was certain the Blue Lions would rise to the challenge as well.</p><hr/>
<p>The month passed by in a blur. Excitement hung in the air with the Battle of the Eagle and Lion on the horizon. It was a welcome change from the tension that had permeated the previous moons, especially the last one.</p>
<p>Sothis warned me not to get too complacent, pointing out that our foes had clearly infiltrated the ranks of the teachers with Jeritza being the Death Knight and expressed concerns about Tomas. I recalled him asking about my father and I the previous month, but while he made me uncomfortable, he didn’t seem overly suspicious.</p>
<p>Hilda was the one who pointed out how overly cheerful Monica seemed to be, which was surprising considering she’d been confined for an entire year. Monica was also very close with Edelgard, as I frequently saw the two together. She had rejoined the Black Eagle House, though.</p>
<p>My focus wasn’t really on Sothis’ or Hilda’s concerns. I was focused on training, as were the Blue Lions. Everyone was motivated, Sylvain commenting on how a victory would be sure to help him amongst ladies, while Felix just wanted to find someone worth crossing blades with. Dedue thought that Dimitri might be too motivated, complaining about how late in the night he insisted on training.</p><hr/>
<p>A little over a week before the end of the month, we set out marching for Gronder Field. We crossed the Great Bridge of Myrddin over the Airmid River dividing Empire and Alliance territory on the morning of the battle.</p>
<p>When we finally reached Gronder Field, the Blue Lions all gathered with me at the north of the field. Despite Dedue comparing it to the mock battle we’d had when I first arrived at the monastery, the atmosphere was entirely different. Tension hovered in the air. We were still using training weapons to keep from doing real damage, but no other expense had been spared. Ingrid’s pegasus and Sylvain’s horse had even been brought with us to allow them to fight while mounted.</p>
<p>Our plan was to be bold and pursue a battle on two fronts since the goal was to take out more opponents than the other houses. It would have seemed like a risky strategy, but I’d seen how hard everyone had been training, and rather than worry, I was brimming with confidence and pride.</p>
<p>Dimitri surveyed the field before us. “So this is to be our battlefield… Gronder Field. Are you feeling confident, Professor?”</p>
<p>“Very,” I answered honestly.</p>
<p>“Excellent. That’s most reassuring,” he said with a smile. “We can win. I’m sure of it. After all, it’s not as though we’ve spent the last half-year sitting idle. And I’m feeling stronger this moon. As though I could conquer a thousand opponents all on my own.”</p>
<p>“That’s reassuring,” I echoed back at him with a smile of my own.</p>
<p>“You can depend on me. I hope you know that.” Dimitri was quiet for a moment as he looked at me, that soft smile still on his lips. “Well, it’s about time for the battle to begin. Everyone, brace yourselves.”</p>
<p>Felix chuckled. “All I’m worried about is finding someone worthy to cross swords with.”</p>
<p>“We’ve prepared and trained a great deal. We should be fine, right?” Mercedes chimed in.</p>
<p>“You’re always so carefree, Mercie,” Annette said with a shake of her head. “Don’t forget we need to try our hardest out there so we can win!”</p>
<p>“This is our chance to show how hard we’ve been working! Let’s do our best,” Ashe said earnestly.</p>
<p>“If I emerge victorious in the lauded Battle of the Eagle and Lion, the ladies are sure to take notice. I’ll have to go into hiding,” Sylvain said with a wink.</p>
<p>“Ugh, is that all you think about?” Ingrid groaned. “Actually, as long as you try your hardest, frame it however you like.”</p>
<p>Flayn pumped her fists excitedly and laughed. “I shall give it my all!” She’d proven to be talented with both healing and offensive magic.</p>
<p>“No matter the battle, I will never falter,” Dedue said stoically.</p>
<p>“We’re counting on your guidance, Professor,” Dimitri said. “Let’s show the world what the Blue Lions are made of!”</p><hr/>
<p>We took our positions. The Blue Lions spread out across the north of the field, with Dimitri and I heading up the two different fronts. I was depending on him, just as he’d said. He was set to face the Black Eagle House to the southwest while I was to lead our charge against the Golden Deer Hours to the southeast.</p>
<p>A hawk flew overhead and let out a cry. I tracked its path through the air until it reached the cliff overlooking the field where Rhea and Seteth stood with a retinue of knights among them to observe the battle.</p>
<p>Dimitri advanced to the front of his unit and leveled his lance towards Edelgard and Claude across the field. “You all should know… I am not about to go easy on you,” he declared.</p>
<p>Claude swung his bow around and let it rest lazily on his shoulder. “As long as we can pull off the win, it doesn’t matter how,” he said to his own forces.</p>
<p>Edelgard flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Our victory must be absolute… no matter what it may take.”</p>
<p>I drew my sword and met Dimitri’s gaze across the field.</p>
<p>“It is time,” Seteth called from above as a knight beside him raised a flag, signaling the start of the battle.</p>
<p>“Forward, now!” Edelgard called, gesturing to the Black Eagles.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s expression was serious as he thrust his lance forward. “For honor!”</p>
<p>Claude simply raised his hand in the air, signaling the Golden Deer to move.</p>
<p>It began. And the Blue Lions decimated the field.</p>
<p>“The Black Eagles and Blue Lions are fighting… Maybe we can sneak right past them,” Claude said to his companions as we neared him in the cover of the forest.</p>
<p>“Not a chance, Claude!” I cried as I emerged from the trees in front of him.</p>
<p>When the Golden Deer were taken care of, we moved to circle back with Dimitri’s squad. They didn’t seem to need our help though. The field had been cleared of the rest of the Black Eagles and Dimitri was advancing on Edelgard.</p>
<p>I was too far away to hear, but they were exchanging words as they clashed.</p>
<p>“Take her down, Dimitri!” I called as I neared.</p>
<p>He didn’t look away from Edelgard, but I saw a smile crack his features. He said something to her and then shoved forward, the force of it snapping Edelgard’s axe in two and sending her sprawling. He then brought the point of his practice lance to her throat.</p>
<p>Seteth’s voice boomed out across the field, “That is the end of this year’s Battle of the Eagle and Lion! And the winners are… The Blue Lions!”</p>
<p>Dimitri turned back towards me and grinned.</p><hr/>
<p>We’d all taken a moment to collect ourselves and then the house leaders and I had gathered together.</p>
<p>“Well done, Your Princliness,” Claude said. “I’m certainly not in any hurry to get on your bad side.”</p>
<p>“I assumed you would attack us head-on. I clearly need to rethink my opinion of you. Well done, Dimitri,” Edelgard said evenly.</p>
<p>“You both deserve equal praise for a battle well fought. All three houses did extremely well,” Dimitri said graciously. “Don’t you agree, Professor?” He looked to where I stood next to him.</p>
<p>“They weren’t too much trouble,” I teased.</p>
<p>“It only seemed that way because of the caliber of your command. Even now, we must not allow ourselves to become complacent,” Dimitri responded smoothly, but he was smiling.</p>
<p>Claude shook his head. “In any case, I hope the day never comes when we have to put this experience to use.”</p>
<p>Edelgard was staring at Dimitri and I. “I wouldn’t mind. I’ll accept a challenge from either of you any time.” When Dimitri snapped his gaze to her, she continued, “Heh, I’m kidding, of course!”</p>
<p>It struck me then that she seemed to be trying to coax a reaction from Dimitri and draw his attention back to her.</p>
<p>“That is nothing to joke about,” Dimitri said reproachfully. “The true Battle of the Eagle and Lion is best left in the past. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they eventually change the name of this mock battle.”</p>
<p>“I hope so,” I said. It seemed like a name after a true battle could only lead to divisions between the houses and the countries they represented.</p>
<p>“How admirable, Teach!” Claude said dramatically. “On that note, I have a proposition. The night we get back to Garreg Mach, let’s have a grand feast to bring down the walls between our respective houses. And by a ‘grand’ feast, I mean a fairly regular feast in the dining hall.”</p>
<p>Edelgard turned from Dimitri to look at Claude. “You really value that kind of thing, don’t you? Well, I suppose no harm can come from it. Count me in.”</p>
<p>“I have no objections either,” Dimitri said, his focus turning to me once more. “And you, Professor?”</p>
<p>“We’ll celebrate our victory,” I said with a smile.</p>
<p>“Oh! Well, I’m not sure that’s the point…” Dimitri studied me for a moment. “Uh, Professor? Was that… a joke?” A grin split across his own face. “You look so… happy. I love seeing you like this. I suppose that look on your face is just another boon from this glorious day. Perhaps the best one of all.”</p>
<p>I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks. Dimitri’s gaze was on me, so he must have missed it, but I caught Edelgard flash a deep frown as she watched us. She had always commanded Dimitri’s attention when they were near each other, but now, he couldn’t take his eyes off of me.</p><hr/>
<p>For a fairly regular feast in the dining hall, it did feel rather grand. It wasn’t often that all of the students ate together at the same time, and this had an energy to it that hadn’t been there before. The houses mixed together, rivalries and friendships being struck and congratulations being passed around to the Blue Lions. Dimitri hovered near my side, so I wasn’t surprised when he followed me out into the entrance hall when I needed a break.</p>
<p>He stared at me for a moment. He’d mentioned that he’d never seen me look so happy before, but I wasn’t sure I’d seen him look as happy before either. “I had a wonderful time today, Professor. As usual, I was astonished by how much you ate in the name of celebration!” he said with a chuckle. “Really though, I must thank you. Our victory in the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was thanks, in no small part, to you.”</p>
<p>I shook my head and smiled. Since he’d coaxed my first smile out of me, I felt like I was smiling all the time. “We all did our part.”</p>
<p>“Yes, that is true, but it was your instruction that allowed us to reach our full potential,” he responded. He was silent briefly and looked at the ground. “I feel silly admitting this now, but when you first came to lead our class… you unnerved me. You never smiled, and you never showed your anger either. And yet, you didn’t appear to be suppressing your emotions. They just… weren’t there. At first I thought perhaps you just didn’t care for us, but I soon concluded that wasn’t the case at all. For the longest time I just couldn’t tell what you were thinking. It was as though you had no humanity whatsoever…”</p>
<p>It was a blunt assessment, but I couldn’t really argue with him. I was and always had been a demon. He hadn’t even seemed surprised when I’d finally told him what I was, the Ashen Demon. It was a name that I had earned. I didn’t even know why I told him. That wasn’t true. I told him because I wanted him to accept me, the <i>real</i> me. But I didn’t quite feel like a demon anymore. It was still there, lurking beneath the surface, but there was something else there too, tempering it. “And now?” I asked quietly.</p>
<p>He lifted his gaze from the floor and met mine. “You’re different now. In the half-year we’ve spent together, I’ve seen the glow of humanity in your eyes and in your actions countless times.” He took a step towards me. “I am truly grateful to have had the chance to spend this time with you, Professor.”</p>
<p>I stared up into the icy blue eyes gazing back into mine. How was I supposed to even begin to explain that I finally felt like I was alive and not just an empty shell? I’d spent my life entombed, and only by him had I finally been exhumed. My lips parted slightly as he leaned in, and then a voice made us both jump.</p>
<p>“Getting cozy, are we?” Sylvain drawled as he approached. “Mind if I cut in?”</p>
<p>The rest of the class had followed him. Heat flared in my cheeks and neck. What had been about to happen? What did I <i>want</i> to happen?</p>
<p>“That’s enough, Sylvain,” Dedue chided. But his eyes weren’t on Sylvain, they were noting the unmistakable color that had crept into Dimitri’s cheeks.</p>
<p>“Oh please, I would love to join you as well! I have so many things I wish to talk to you about, Professor,” Mercedes said brightly.</p>
<p>“Oh, me too! I have so much I want to tell you! And I want to thank you too,” Annette said with a surprisingly shy smile.</p>
<p>“Honestly, Professor? I was only able to achieve so much because you were with us,” Ashe said sincerely.</p>
<p>Ingrid flashed a smile. “Ashe is right. You’re irreplaceable to us, Professor.”</p>
<p>“Yes, that!” Annette said emphatically. “Without you, the Blue Lions… Well, we wouldn’t even be the Blue Lions at all! Except for the blue part. Because we’d be sad.”</p>
<p>Even Felix cracked a small smile. “I suppose… there are worse things than fighting at your side.”</p>
<p>Flayn peeked around Dedue’s large frame where she’d been hidden. “I have had the opportunity to experience much. Please allow me to offer you my gratitude once more, Professor.”</p>
<p>Dimitri chuckled and looked around at the others before he fixed his gaze back on me. “As you can see, you have our trust, as well as our admiration. I look forward to spending the rest of the year with you.”</p>
<p>“As do I.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my lips as a warm feeling built up in my chest. I meant it with every fiber of my being.</p>
<p>“Good. Then let’s give it our all this year!” Dimitri said. “Anyhow… it’s getting late. We had better return to our quarters and get some rest.”</p><hr/>
<p>The next morning I was summoned to Rhea’s audience chamber where she and Seteth were waiting.</p>
<p>“You fought bravely during the Battle of the Eagle and Lion,” Rhea praised.</p>
<p>“Comparing against their performance in the mock battle of the Great Tree Moon, the students have grown significantly. It is clear that this is a result of your guidance,” Seteth agreed.</p>
<p>I usually found these meetings uncomfortable, but I was brimming with pride after the Blue Lions’ victory.</p>
<p>“Please continue to instruct your students as a model teacher,” Rhea said.</p>
<p><i>I would have been upset if you had failed at such an easy task!</i> Sothis chimed in.</p>
<p>Seteth’s expression turned serious. “It pains me to assign such a disturbing mission to you during such a blessed moment in time… However, next month your assignment will be to journey to Remire Village to investigate an abnormal occurrence there.”</p>
<p><i>Remire Village…</i> Sothis said. <i>If I recall, you’ve been there with your father many times.</i></p>
<p>I had. Most recently, I had been in Remire Village before three students of the Officers Academy had requested help from my father and I in dispatching the bandits that pursued them. I felt suddenly sick to my stomach. “An abnormal occurrence?” I asked.</p>
<p>“I have yet to ascertain the details, but it would seem the villagers have been acting strangely. I have already dispatched the knights to verify the authenticity of this information,” Seteth explained. “They should be back shortly. I suggest you begin by finding out what they have discovered.”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“I pray this is not a bad omen… May the goddess protect you all.” Rhea clasped her hands together in a prayer.</p><hr/>
<p>I was grateful for the distraction of swordplay training with the orphans and Dimitri that afternoon. I didn’t want to dwell on my concern for Remire Village or the way it twisted my stomach into knots.</p>
<p>Dimitri approached me as I finished placing the practice swords back on the rack against the wall. “Thank you for your help today, Professor. Please, allow me to express my gratitude by taking you to dinner.”</p>
<p>I’d never been to dinner before, not in the way he was suggesting. “I would be delighted,” I said once I’d recovered from the shock. It reminded me of when he’d invited me to the first victory celebration with the class.</p>
<p>“Fantastic. After all, such magnificent guidance must work up quite an appetite,” he said with a grin. “There’s a place in the village at the base of the monastery that Sylvain has highly recommended.”</p>
<p>I nodded and we set out, walking side by side.</p>
<p>He’d been quiet for a while before he spoke, “I’ve studied swordsmanship for some time, but your mercenary skills are something else entirely. Speaking of which, there’s… another question I must ask you. Were you reconciled with the reality of battle from your first foray? With… the killing part, I mean.”</p>
<p>I was silent as I pondered his question. I’d been on the battlefield almost as long as I could remember, long before I’d even had my first bleeding. Spilling the blood of others had felt far more natural to me than blood spilling from my own body, unbidden by any wound. It had always been kill or be killed, a motion to go through to survive to the next day. But I’d seen the way others would hesitate sometimes. It had strengthened my resolve--if others hesitated, I would not. I would kill so others did not have to, and it had been the only thing I’d ever been good at. Perhaps that had birthed the demon inside of me, remorseless to spare others from the remorse they might feel.</p>
<p>“I hadn’t really the luxury of questioning it,” I finally said. I hadn’t really considered that there was another option until I’d met him.</p>
<p>“I see.”</p>
<p>“And you?”</p>
<p>“No… I do not carry that burden well,” he said with a pained expression. “I doubt that will change, no matter how many years come and go.” He paused. “The first time I led on the battlefield, I was sent to quell a rebellion in the west. It was not a difficult fight. The enemy was not well trained and their morale was low. A swing of the lance, and your opponent falls. A flash of your blade, and a path opens up. That’s the sort of battle it was. Easy… right?” His last words were bitter.</p>
<p>I frowned. “You did what you had to do.” I knew the kind of killing that he meant, but even if he had taught me that killing was not always the answer, there were still times when it couldn’t be avoided. I had been a killer for a long time, and I wouldn’t stop being one now.</p>
<p>“That’s one way to look at it,” he said. “The noble family from that area sought to seize the throne after my father’s untimely death. The leader of the rebel army was defeated and the rebellion quelled. This was at the height of the post-war period. I recall coming across a dead soldier’s body. He was clutching a locket. Inside was a lock of golden hair. I don’t know to whom it belonged. His wife, his daughter… mother, lover… I’ll never know. He was a soldier. An enemy. Someone we cut down without hesitation. But in that moment, I realized he was also a real person, just like the rest of us. Of course, we cannot stand idly by and allow anyone to commit senseless acts of violence. Yet in dispensing what we call justice, we take the lives of cherished family members. Beloved friends. Killing is part of the job, but even so… There are times when I’m chilled to the bone by the depravity of my own actions.”</p>
<p>The anguish in his voice made my heart feel heavy. I thought of the way I had killed Lonato to spare both him and Ashe from having to take that stain upon themselves. I wished I could have taken the lives he lamented now, if only so he didn’t have to sound so sad. I would kill Lonato or anyone else over and over if it made it stop, but I knew that wasn’t how things worked. It was inevitable that Dimitri would have to kill.</p>
<p>But even if I told myself that I was killing to spare others from having to do so, I knew there was something in me that was vicious and bloodthirsty. I remembered a time years ago, when I was still young enough to pass for a boy. An archer had gotten a lucky shot off, an arrow piercing my shoulder. My father had sounded absolutely panicked as he screamed my name across the battlefield. I remembered seeking that archer out, and thinking that I’d make him pay for causing my father to fear. I remembered butchering that archer.</p>
<p>I gave Dimitri the only solace I could--the knowledge that was not alone, that if he was depraved then I certainly was too. “I’ve felt the same way,” I said quietly.</p>
<p>He stopped walking. I stopped next to him and looked over when I realized he was staring at me. “That you feel the same way is more comforting than you know.” He glanced away, suddenly looking nervous. “Professor? May I speak freely?”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“When we first met, I thought of you as someone who felt no strong feelings about killing your enemies. I could never trust someone who kills without batting an eye. My heart won’t allow it. But after speaking with you and getting to know you better, I can see you’re not like that. Now I know, with all my heart, that I can trust you. Thank you for that.”</p>
<p>I felt warm all over as he spoke. I’d wanted so badly to earn his trust, and it seemed I finally had.</p>
<p>He tore his gaze from mine and motioned forward. “Come on, we’re almost there.”</p><hr/>
<p>Sylvain certainly hadn’t lied. The restaurant was fantastic. I shamelessly ate every scrap of food on my plate, and even let Dimitri talk me into eating some of his own meal. I talked of quieter moments in my life like my father teaching me how to fish and what it had been like to travel all across Fódlan.</p>
<p>Our server arrived with our dessert order. A single fruit cobbler topped with cream and berries. It looked and smelled amazing. The server left two spoons and Dimitri passed one to me.</p>
<p>I dug in while he took his time with his first bite.</p>
<p>“Ah, this takes me back… I used to love this when I was a child,” he said.</p>
<p>I blinked. “Used to?”</p>
<p>He blinked back. “It’s just been a long time since I’ve had it,” he replied. “Do you like it?”</p>
<p>“I love it,” I responded and took another bite to emphasize my point.</p>
<p>He smiled warmly at me. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of it. “I love it, too,” he said softly.</p>
<p>When we were done, he walked me back to the monastery and all the way to my door. “Professor… Thank you for tonight,” he said so quietly it was almost a whisper. He started to reach out towards me but then he stopped and turned and left. I wished he hadn’t.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>“Oh, Professor!” Dimitri couldn’t help but smile when he saw her. “I was thinking we could meet and discuss some of our strategy for the upcoming Battle of the Eagle and Lion.” A convenient excuse. He was just grateful that being the house leader gave him a plethora of convenient excuses to spend time with her.</p>
<p>“I was actually just about to go for a walk,” she responded casually. “You could join me, if you’d like?”</p>
<p>“It would be my pleasure to accompany you,” he said with a nod.</p>
<p>They spoke of strategy as they walked through the forest surrounding the town. He was pleased by how confident she seemed to feel in the face of the looming competition, already leaning towards fighting both of the other classes at once because she thought they could handle it.</p>
<p>They reached a small clearing with wildflowers blooming in it when she stopped and sat down in the shade of a large tree, its leaves barely beginning to change color.</p>
<p>“It would be far too cold in Fhirdiad right now to enjoy the afternoon like this,” he said. Winter would be setting in, and it wouldn’t be uncommon for snow to start blanketing Faerghus soon.</p>
<p>She gently patted the grass next to her and looked at him expectantly. He wasn’t about to refuse her so he settled on the ground next to her. As he did so, she laid back in the grass.</p>
<p>“Do you miss Fhirdiad?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Sometimes,” he admitted. “Do you mind the cold?”</p>
<p>A delicate smile spread across her lips. “I like the snow. It’s… captivating.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting. Most people found the Faerghus winters to be brutal and inhospitable. And here she was offering a smile that would likely melt all the snow even in the frigid north and calling it captivating. <i>She</i> was captivating, dominating his thoughts more and more since the moment they’d met. He was focused on the way the light filtering through the leaves fell across her face.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she said softly, breaking the silence.</p>
<p>He blinked. “For what?” He’d done nothing that would have deserved her gratitude.</p>
<p>“For being by my side like this.” She paused and shifted her gaze up towards the leaves of the tree above them. “I am… not an easy person to deal with. I never really know what to say or how to behave.”</p>
<p>He stared at her. Was that truly how she saw herself? She couldn’t be more wrong. “I don’t think that’s true at all,” he responded earnestly. He’d never met anyone who drew others in the way she did.</p>
<p>“Do you know what they called me as a mercenary?” she asked after a moment.</p>
<p>He shook his head.</p>
<p>“The Ashen Demon.” There was a crease between her brows and the slightest tremble to her bottom lip, as if she were afraid of his reaction.</p>
<p>He’d suspected it the day they’d met, but he had thought she was far too young. As he’d gotten to know her better and seen her in battle, he could certainly see how it fit. She truly was a calamity upon her enemies, but she was so much more than that.</p>
<p>The concern in her expression had him finally lying down in the grass next to her, anything to be closer to her. He at least managed to control himself and kept from reaching out to her. “You are undoubtedly skilled, but I don’t think you’re a demon. How long were you a mercenary?”</p>
<p>Her expression softened as relief flashed in her eyes. “Around ten years, I think?” she responded, sounding unsure.</p>
<p>She really had been a child when she’d first started fighting.</p>
<p>“What was it like?” he asked. “Was it just battle all the time?”</p>
<p>She shook her head. “There were quiet moments like this. My father used to like to find places like this and pick flowers for me. He said he used to bring my mother flowers.”</p>
<p>She’d never spoken about her mother before. “What was she like?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I guess she died when I was born, so I never knew her,” she responded simply.</p>
<p>He understood. His own birth mother had died less than two years after his own birth when a plague had swept through Faerghus. He had been too young to really remember anything about her. He focused on the other detail she’d revealed. “Do you like flowers?”</p>
<p>She smiled softly. “Yes, I do.”</p>
<p>Even now, she continued to surprise him. Flowers would have been a good choice for her birthday after all, but as his gaze settled on the brooch pinned on her jacket as it had been every day since he’d gifted it, he knew he’d made the right choice.</p>
<p>“I wish we could stay longer, but we should probably start heading back. We’ve got a lot of training to fit in so we can win the Battle of the Eagle and Lion,” she said excitedly.</p>
<p>He wished he could stay in this moment forever, but he knew she was right. And he certainly didn’t intend to let her down in the upcoming battle.</p><hr/>
<p>Dimitri had been joking when he told his professor that he could take on a thousand opponents on his own, but he’d meant it when he’d told her to depend on him. And she was depending on him, placing him in charge of the group set to go against the Black Eagle House. The idea that she was counting on him really did have him feeling stronger, like there was no chance he could lose today.</p>
<p>“So, it is time to cross blades… I never imagined such a day would come to pass,” he said to his stepsister after his squad had taken care of the rest of the Black Eagles.</p>
<p>“If the Empire and the Kingdom go to war, we’ll be able to fight as much as we please,” Edelgard responded unconcernedly.</p>
<p>To even jest about the idea was upsetting. “I am sorry, but that is not something to joke about. The thought of fighting you is troubling at best,” he responded reproachfully, even as he locked his lance against her axe.</p>
<p>She gave him a small smile. “In that case, I wonder when you’ll be able to stomach facing me in battle… Do you need a few moments?”</p>
<p>“Take her down, Dimitri!” His professor’s voice rang out across the field.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but smile. It was all the encouragement that he needed. “Sorry, Edelgard, but you heard the professor.”</p>
<p>He turned to his professor and grinned after he’d taken his stepsister down.</p><hr/>
<p>Dimitri knew the point of this feast was to bring down the walls between houses, but he couldn’t bear to separate himself from his professor, not when he’d seen her face lit up so brightly in the wake of their victory. It seemed she was the center of not just his attention though, but of everyone else as well. That gave him all the more reason to remain at her side as a reminder to the students coming to talk with her that she was <i>his</i> professor.</p>
<p>As always, when presented with an opportunity to feast, she did just that. He watched as she took a big bite of a pastry, leaving crumbs and powdered sugar dusting her cheek.</p>
<p>“Professor,” he said, pointing to his own cheek when she looked over.</p>
<p>She tilted her head curiously at him.</p>
<p>“I guess there’s no helping it,” he said with a slight shake of his head. He reached out and gently brushed the small mess from her cheek. Color stained her cheeks in the wake of his touch and a brilliant smile spread across her lips. Dimitri’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of it.</p>
<p>It wasn’t long before his professor was moving out to the entrance hall to get a break from the festivities and he found himself following her. He couldn’t stand the idea of parting from her, but even more than that he couldn’t stand the idea of anyone else finding her alone out there and taking advantage of the opportunity.</p>
<p>He stared at her, taking in the relaxed expression she wore and the way her eyes were lit up. “I had a wonderful time today, Professor. As usual, I was astonished by how much you ate in the name of celebration!” He played it off with a light laugh, willing his own cheeks not to flush as he recalled her expression when he’d wiped the crumbs from hers. “Really though, I must thank you. Our victory in the Battle of the Eagle and Lion was thanks, in no small part, to you.”</p>
<p>She shook her head and smiled. It seemed like she was always smiling now, and Dimitri found himself wanting to do everything he could to keep her smiling. “We all did our part,” she responded.</p>
<p>“Yes, that is true, but it was your instruction that allowed us to reach our full potential.” He tore his gaze from her. She’d changed so much in the time since he’d first met her. Her walls had finally been breached. “I feel silly admitting this now, but when you first came to lead our class… you unnerved me. You never smiled, and you never showed your anger either. And yet, you didn’t appear to be suppressing your emotions. They just… weren’t there. At first I thought perhaps you just didn’t care for us, but I soon concluded that wasn’t the case at all. For the longest time I just couldn’t tell what you were thinking. It was as though you had no humanity whatsoever…”</p>
<p>He began to silently curse himself. He hadn’t exactly been delicate in his wording. But she didn’t get upset, she just watched him. “And now?” she asked softly.</p>
<p>He met her gaze. “You’re different now. In the half-year we’ve spent together, I’ve seen the glow of humanity in your eyes and in your actions countless times.” He took a step closer to her. “I am truly grateful to have had the chance to spend this time with you, Professor.”</p>
<p>With the way his professor was looking up at him, Dimitri couldn’t help himself. He started to lean in, intending to place his lips against hers.</p>
<p>“Getting cozy, are we?” Sylvain said with a mischievous smirk. “Mind if I cut in?”</p>
<p>Dimitri most certainly did mind. Half of him wanted to curse Sylvain for his timing, worried about how much his old friend had seen, but the other half was grateful that he had been spared from doing something very foolish.</p>
<p>“That’s enough, Sylvain,” Dedue scolded.</p>
<p>The rest of the Blue Lions had followed them out. And each of them expressed their thanks to his professor. Even Felix had praise for her. Dimitri had been entranced by her for a long time, but he clearly wasn’t the only one. </p>
<p>The thought filled him with a mix of pride and jealousy, but he chuckled as he looked around at all of them. “As you can see, you have our trust, as well as our admiration,” he said, looking back at the woman who had become the center of his attention. “I look forward to spending the rest of the year with you.”</p>
<p>“As do I,” she responded with that smile that drove him mad.</p>
<p><i>Don’t forget why you’re here,</i> his father said sternly.</p>
<p>That smile that drove him so mad he might actually forget his duty to the dead, that smile that he needed to get far away from before he attempted something foolish again. “Good. Then let’s give it our all this year! Anyhow… it’s getting late. We had better return to our quarters and get some rest.”	</p><hr/>
<p>“Turning in already, Your Highness?” Sylvain asked, having followed Dimitri to the second floor of the dormitory where their rooms were adjacent to each other.</p>
<p>Dimitri turned to face him. “Yes, Sylvain. It has gotten rather late, has it not? And unlike you, I don’t spend my evenings wildly carousing with women.” He usually spent his evenings training or researching late into the night, knowing that sleep would only end in nightmares.</p>
<p>Sylvain rolled his eyes. “Spare me the lecture. I have them all memorized anyway. I swear, you’re as bad as Ingrid. Besides, I think there’s maybe one woman you’re interested in wildly carousing with.”</p>
<p>Dimitri froze. Had Sylvain realized that he had been going to kiss his professor? “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about,” he lied. There was no guarantee that Sylvain had actually seen, after all.</p>
<p>“Oh, please. You’re not exactly subtle. Although I do have to give you credit. The brooch was a good gift. Much better than a dagger, although she may have actually enjoyed receiving one.”</p>
<p>Dimitri groaned, and decided not to mention that he had seriously considered gifting his professor with a dagger. He probably would have had she not already had one. “Will you never let that rest? It was many years ago.”</p>
<p>“Ah, you’re not denying it,” Sylvain said with a smirk. “Well, here’s a little tip for you. There’s a restaurant in town that’s quite good. I think a certain woman who really enjoys food might like it, and I’m not talking about Ingrid.”</p>
<p>Dimitri let out a heavy sigh. “Where is it?”</p>
<p>Sylvain’s smirk morphed into a grin as he gave directions and then turned to head into his own room. “Good luck, Your Highness!”</p>
<p>Dimitri once again found himself torn between wanting to curse Sylvain and feeling gratitude towards him.</p><hr/>
<p>His professor had eagerly agreed to go to dinner with him after he’d worked up the courage to ask, using repaying her for her assistance in swordsmanship training as an excuse.</p>
<p>“I’ve studied swordsmanship for some time, but your mercenary skills are something else entirely,” Dimitri said earnestly as they walked. “Speaking of which, there’s… another question I must ask you. Were you reconciled with the reality of battle from your first foray? With… the killing part, I mean.”</p>
<p>She was quiet for a moment before finally answering, “I hadn’t really the luxury of questioning it.”</p>
<p>“I see.” He should’ve expected as much, given that she’d revealed earlier that month that she’d been a mercenary for at least ten years. With how young that would have made her, she must have been raised on the battlefield.</p>
<p>“And you?”</p>
<p>He detested it. “No… I do not carry that burden well. I doubt that will change, no matter how many years come and go.” He found his thoughts settling on two years prior. “The first time I led on the battlefield, I was sent to quell a rebellion in the west. It was not a difficult fight. The enemy was not well trained and their morale was low. A swing of the lance, and your opponent falls. A flash of your blade, and a path opens up. That’s the sort of battle it was. Easy… right?” he asked bitterly.</p>
<p>“You did what you had to do,” she reassured him with a frown.</p>
<p>“That’s one way to look at it.” He hadn’t just done what he had to do. With the voices of the dead spurring him on, he’d torn men apart. He’d crushed skulls with his bare hands. He knew Felix hadn’t been wrong when he’d called him a beast craving blood. It wasn’t until he noticed the locket that he’d come to his senses.</p>
<p>He continued, “The noble family from that area sought to seize the throne after my father’s untimely death. The leader of the rebel army was defeated and the rebellion quelled. This was at the height of the post-war period. I recall coming across a dead soldier’s body. He was clutching a locket. Inside was a lock of golden hair. I don’t know to whom it belonged. His wife, his daughter… mother, lover… I’ll never know. He was a soldier. An enemy. Someone we cut down without hesitation. But in that moment, I realized he was also a real person, just like the rest of us. Of course, we cannot stand idly by and allow anyone to commit senseless acts of violence. Yet in dispensing what we call justice, we take the lives of cherished family members. Beloved friends. Killing is part of the job, but even so… There are times when I’m chilled to the bone by the depravity of my own actions.”</p>
<p>“I’ve felt the same way,” she said softly.</p>
<p>He stopped and stared at her. “That you feel the same way is more comforting than you know.” Felix hated him for what he’d seen, for the true face that he’d revealed. He desperately wanted her to accept him, the <i>real</i> him--just as much as he wanted to keep her from ever knowing about that side of himself. He looked away. “Professor? May I speak freely?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” she answered.</p>
<p>“When we first met, I thought of you as someone who felt no strong feelings about killing your enemies. I could never trust someone who kills without batting an eye. My heart won’t allow it. But after speaking with you and getting to know you better, I can see you’re not like that. Now I know, with all my heart, that I can trust you. Thank you for that.” Before he did something rash, he waved her on and started walking again. “Come on, we’re almost there.”</p><hr/>
<p>Sylvain had been correct. Dimitri had no way of knowing how the food tasted, but by the way his professor tore through her meal, he guessed that it must have been good. She’d gone through her own meal so quickly that he convinced her to eat some of his as well. It was wasted on him anyway, but to watch her enjoy it… that was not a waste.</p>
<p>She told a story of Jeralt teaching her how to fish, and the peaceful image it conjured in Dimitri’s mind was both unexpected and lovely.</p>
<p>His thoughts were interrupted when their server arrived with the dessert his professor had picked out. He recognized the dish--it had been one of his favorites.</p>
<p>“Ah, this takes me back… I used to love this when I was a child,” he said after taking his first bite. Tasteless, as always.</p>
<p>She focused on him. “Used to?”</p>
<p>Glenn laughed behind him. He’d slipped up, not been careful enough in his wording. The truth was that he had been unable to taste ever since that day.</p>
<p>“It’s just been a long time since I’ve had it,” he lied. He’d meant it when he said that he could trust her, but that didn’t mean she had to see how tainted he was. “Do you like it?”</p>
<p>“I love it,” she responded, following her words with a large bite.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but smile. “I love it, too,” he said quietly. He wasn’t talking about the food.</p>
<p>She allowed him to walk her back to her room.</p>
<p>“Professor… Thank you for tonight,” he said softly. He wanted nothing more than to take her face in his hands and press his lips to hers, to be able to lament that he could never know how she tasted.</p>
<p><i>Careful, she’ll probably slap you just like she did Sylvain,</i> Glenn taunted him as he started to reach out. The words stopped him. He dropped his hands back to his side and left without a word.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Flame in the Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions investigate an abnormal occurrence in Remire Village.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CONTENT WARNING: Masturbation. Underage tag applies as Dimitri is still 17 at this point.<br/>Byleth POV it starts at "For the first time in my life..."<br/>Dimitri POV it starts at "Shame burned through him..."</p>
<p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>I have a major feature deadline coming up at work this week, so it is unlikely that I will get The Cause of Sorrow finished early (expect it on Friday). That being said, we'll see how fast I actually get through it since we've finally made it to where things start getting really exciting! And I cannot wait to get to the timeskip!</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Iris - DIAMANTE &amp; Breaking Benjamin</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>My father led me towards the infirmary where Shamir and Manuela were already engaged in conversation. Shamir, it seemed, had no intention of waiting for my father or I before reporting on what she’d heard in Remire Village--we could hear her from the hallway.</p>
<p>“That’s what we’re dealing with,” Shamir was reporting. “Is there no chance it’s an infectious disease?”</p>
<p>Manuela’s voice sounded, “There are no absolutes in medicine, but the chances are extremely slim. Restless movements, fits of violence, becoming bedridden or even impossible to wake… With symptoms that varied, there are only a few possibilities. It’s either a mixture of poisons or magic. And dark magic, at that.”</p>
<p>“You’re talking about Remire Village, aren’t you, Manuela?” Jeralt asked as we crossed the threshold into the infirmary.</p>
<p>“Oh my, if it isn’t Jeralt. Tell me, what was the first thing you heard?” Manuela asked.</p>
<p>“Everything after you mentioned that it’s not likely it’s an infectious disease. My child and I owe the people of Remire Village,” he said, gesturing to where I trailed behind him. “If something’s happening there, we must help them.”</p>
<p>Shamir turned to look at me. “We scouted the area ourselves. Speak with the knights. Hear what they have to say. I must go.” She glanced at Manuela. “Thank you for your help, Manuela.”</p>
<p>After Shamir left, Manuela flashed me a smile. “You know, I’m more than willing to go with you to Remire Village… After all, I owe you my life. If you’d like, I bet we could even manage the mission all by ourselves. Just the two of us…” She trailed off with a wink.</p>
<p>“That’s nice of you,” I said awkwardly.</p>
<p>“Professor! A bit of a tease, are we? A girl could get used to this side of you,” she cooed.</p>
<p>“Nice try, but I’ll be going to the village as well. Enough nonsense,” Jeralt cut in coolly. “It’s time to move out.”</p>
<p>“She’s so easy to tease though…” Manuela frowned. “As you like. Goodbye, Jeralt. Goodbye, Professor.” She shooed us out with a wave.</p>
<p>My father and I made our way to the courtyard before he spoke again, “I’ll be in my office making preparations. What about you? If you have the time, it would be helpful if you could go ahead and talk to the knights.”</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to respond, but I was suddenly feeling nauseous. A chill swept through me and my legs shook. My vision turned blurry and everything started to spin before going dark.</p>
<p>“Hey! What’s wrong?” I opened my eyes to see my father’s face. He was crouched down, but one arm was around my back. He must have caught me as I fell.</p>
<p>“I just got a little dizzy,” I said, embarrassed.</p>
<p>My father helped me to my feet, but kept an arm braced under my elbow to support me. “If anything feels off, return to the infirmary, just don't let Manuela actually examine you. No need to grin and bear it. Got it?”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p><i>Ugh… What could have caused such dizziness? I felt it too,</i> Sothis said suddenly. <i>Actually… I’ve felt that way before…</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>I’d stopped in the dining hall to try and coax a small amount of food and drink down. Maybe I’d just been pushing myself too hard. As I moved to the entrance hall, I caught the sound of Dimitri’s voice. I peeked around a pillar and saw him speaking to an unfamiliar man.</p>
<p>The man had a severe looking face and cold, gray eyes. He had long brown hair that fell past his shoulders. Every single strand of it was neatly smoothed back and his thin beard was neatly kept.</p>
<p>I thought about revealing myself, but something about the man sent a chill down my spine, not unlike the chill I’d felt earlier. I had already collapsed once today, and some warning bell pealed in my head. Dimitri’s posture was stiff, and he looked as uncomfortable as I felt.</p>
<p>“I see. So you’ll be staying here for some time, then. Honestly, I’m surprised. I’ve heard it’s been a few years since you last donated to the church,” Dimitri said.</p>
<p>“That was merely because of the financial situation of my territory. I assure you, it has nothing to do with my dedication to the church,” the man responded smoothly. “By the way, Dimitri… Isn’t Edelgard currently enrolled at the Officers Academy as well?”</p>
<p>“Yes. She’s in the Black Eagle House. I don’t believe she has any plans to leave anytime soon. Why not pay her a visit?” Dimitri asked.</p>
<p>“I may do just that. It’s nice to stay in touch with my dear niece every now and then. Of course I’m also delighted that I was able to speak with my nephew, as well. Whether through marriage or otherwise, family is family, after all,” the man said. His tone was sickly sweet, as if it were masking the taste of venom.</p>
<p>“Of course. The feeling is mutual,” Dimitri said stiffly.</p>
<p>The man gave him a nod and left. I emerged from behind the pillar I had been hiding--I realized with a start that I had indeed been hiding--behind.</p>
<p>Dimitri stared at me. “Professor… If you were watching, you should have made your presence known.”</p>
<p>He had a point. I wouldn’t appreciate being spied on. I hadn’t really meant to spy, but I didn’t feel like I had the strength to face that man. “Who was that?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Lord Arundel, the Regent for the Empire. He is also Edelgard’s uncle.”</p>
<p>“He called you his nephew…”</p>
<p>Dimitri turned to fully face me. “My stepmother was his younger sister. We are not related by blood, but he is technically my uncle.”	</p>
<p>The realization hit me then. “So, you and Edelgard…”</p>
<p>He nodded. “Yes. My stepmother was Edelgard’s birth mother. Edelgard and I are siblings by marriage. We can delve into that topic another time. For now, let’s make preparations to investigate what’s happening in that village.” He turned to leave and then hesitated. “I’m sorry to ask this of you… but I would deeply appreciate it if you would promise to keep my association to Edelgard to yourself. It is a… complicated history, what she and I share.”</p>
<p>“I promise,” I assured him.</p>
<p>My words seemed to have done the trick, because he turned and departed. I couldn’t help but feel that he seemed troubled.</p>
<p><i>Oh dear. The princess of the Empire and the Kingdom’s prince are kin! How very odd,</i> Sothis said.</p>
<p>I thought of the way Edelgard had been able to draw his attention whenever she was near him. At least, she used to be able to. His attention to her suddenly made a lot more sense, and I felt a wave of relief washing over me. <i>So that’s why he was worried about her…</i></p>
<p><i>All beings are attached somehow to those who are their family,</i> Sothis said sagely. <i>Yes… even I. I must have had a family too… I wish I could remember them. My family… I wonder who and where they are, and what they’re doing now.</i> She was quiet for a moment. <i>In any case… About this Arundel. You’ve heard that name before, correct?</i></p>
<p>It did sound familiar. <i>In the library,</i> I realized.</p>
<p><i>Quite true! We came across that name in the library, right where the prince had been. I thought that Arundel had died… And yet, not so. He seems alive and well,</i> Sothis pondered. <i>I wonder what the prince had hoped to learn from reading of his uncle’s charity… So many things the prince has yet to tell… How bothersome…</i></p>
<p>It bothered me too, but I didn’t give voice to the fact that Sothis and I were probably bothered for different reasons.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I managed to drag myself through the rest of the day, but I was relieved when I finally laid down in my bed that night. Sothis, it seemed, was still feeling the same.</p>
<p><i>I do not know why it is so, but being here makes me feel quite… unwell. I am so sleepy… and a bit… It has been a struggle to stay conscious… Are you feeling the same?</i> she asked.</p>
<p><i>I am,</i> I responded.</p>
<p><i>And yet, it feels familiar… As though pulled from a corner of my memory, from a time long ago… I simply cannot fathom it,</i> she said as I drifted off.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The morning had me feeling even worse. Just dragging myself out of bed and getting my clothes on felt like an enormous task. I managed to get out the door before the nausea hit me, but with how little I’d eaten the day before, the heaves that shook my body were dry.</p>
<p><i>Byleth,</i> Sothis said, sounding just as weak as I felt. <i>I don’t think we’re going to make it to the classroom. I think you’ve earned a day off.</i></p>
<p><i>I know,</i> I told her. I at least managed to make it back into my room and close the door before I collapsed on the floor.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“--ssor!” A knock on the door and the sound of a voice had me stirring. “Professor? Are you in there?”</p>
<p>It was Dimitri’s voice.</p>
<p>I was on the floor in my room. How had I even gotten here? I felt too hot everywhere and the world seemed to tilt back and forth. I tried to push myself up off the ground and answer him, but I only managed to get out a small groan.</p>
<p>I heard the sound of muffled voices outside the door and then, “Professor, I apologize, but I’m coming in.”</p>
<p>The door opened and then I was lifted up and found Dimitri’s face swimming in and out of focus.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” I mumbled, resting my head against his chest. I must have been more ill than I thought, because I could hear a rhythm there, like the slow, steady beating of a drum. I savored the scent that wrapped around me, like pine and snow, like the forests of Faerghus where I’d spoken for the first time.</p>
<p>“Professor! Are you alright?!” His hand swept over my forehead, brushing back the hair that was sticking to my skin with sweat. “I’m taking you to Professor Manuela.”</p>
<p>I gripped his arm. “No.” No doctors, one of my father’s rules. “Bed.” I would be fine if I just rested, I was certain of it.</p>
<p>“I really think I should take you to the infirmary,” he pressed.</p>
<p>“No,” I said again. “I just need… to rest.”</p>
<p>He let out a heavy sigh and then set me down on my bed so I was sitting upright. I started to try and shrug my jacket off when he reached out and slid it off my shoulders. He pulled the chair from my desk to place it next to me and sat down. He took my hand and started working on the buckles of my gauntlets. For a second, I thought his cheeks had stained crimson, but it was replaced so quickly by a crease in his brows as he seemed to intensely focus on the buckles. Once my gauntlets were off, he quickly slipped my boots off my feet and then lastly removed the bracer on my left knee.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I murmured as I slid under the covers.</p>
<p>“Get some rest, Professor,” he said softly. “I’ll come check on you later.”</p>
<p>As he rose to leave, I reached out and caught the edge of the blue cape he always wore over his left shoulder. I didn’t want him to go. “Will you stay?” I whispered.</p>
<p>He sat back down and took my hand from his cape into his own hand, giving a gentle squeeze. “Always.”</p>
<p>It was with that word in my mind that I drifted off.</p>
<hr/>
<p>When I woke later, it was not Dimitri sitting at my side but my father. I thought I may have recalled the prince asking if I was hungry, but everything from this morning was so hazy that I couldn’t piece any of the memories together.</p>
<p>“Hey, kid,” my father said softly when he realized I was awake. “How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>“Still a little unsteady,” I admitted. Although I was feeling much better than I had that morning. The nausea had subsided and I no longer felt like I was burning up.</p>
<p>“Don’t push yourself, okay?”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“You hungry?”</p>
<p>I nodded again.</p>
<p>“Well, you’ve got quite the feast to choose from,” he said, rising from the chair to take a tray from the desk. Next to the tray was a glass of water with flowers. They had long stems and then a large cluster of tiny, pale pink blossoms.</p>
<p>My father followed my gaze. “Valerian,” he said. “It was your mother’s favorite.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I said with a soft smile.</p>
<p>“As much as I’d like to take credit for that smile of yours, that house leader of yours brought them along with this,” he said as he set the tray in my lap.</p>
<p>There wasn’t an empty spot on the entire thing. It was crammed full of plates and bowls, and each dish was piled high with various foods. I stared at the feast that had been placed in my lap.</p>
<p>“Dimitri brought this?”</p>
<p>My father nodded. “He’s… not bad, for a brat.”</p>
<p>I suddenly found my food intensely interesting, picking up my fork and starting on a dish that looked to be equal bits meat and melted cheese. With the nausea I’d felt earlier I was certain there was no way I would make it through this entire tray with my usual relish, but it was a touching gesture. A touching gesture that I did not want to discuss with my father at that moment.</p>
<p>My father let the silence wear on, just watching me.</p>
<p>“Tell me more about my mother,” I finally said.</p>
<p>He sat back in his chair, a small smile crossing his face. “Well, kid, they say some souls are made for each other. Like two halves of a whole. That was your mother for me. The other half of me, my missing piece. She made me a better person.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you lost her,” I said softly.</p>
<p>“Don’t you apologize, kid,” he said fiercely. “I got you. And there’s nothing more important to me in the world.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I ended up taking the rest of the week off from teaching. I had tried to go back sooner, but both my father and Dimitri, who came to check on me each day, had insisted that I rest. Dimitri assured me that everyone was working diligently still and my father had even offered to fill in for a day by sparring with the students.</p>
<p>By the end of the week, while I didn’t feel I had all my energy back yet, I was at least feeling more like myself again.</p>
<p><i>Do you intend to just sit here and stare at those wilting flowers all day?</i> Sothis teased.</p>
<p><i>They’re not wilting yet,</i> I insisted.</p>
<p><i>If they aren’t yet, they surely will be soon. But perhaps the prince will bring you more…</i> When I did not respond, she continued, <i>Hmmm… What was that name again?</i></p>
<p><i>What’s on your mind?</i> I inquired. She had to give me a little more to go on.</p>
<p><i>Oh, this is frustrating me to no end! I simply cannot recall,</i> she whined. And then after a moment of silence she spoke again. <i>Oh, I have it! Zanado!</i></p>
<p><i>Zanado, the Red Canyon?</i> I asked. <i>Where we defeated the thieves…</i></p>
<p>
  <i>That’s it! It was not long ago that we were there… And still, I somehow managed to forget!</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>What about it?</i>
</p>
<p><i>Well… That place brought back some fragments of my memory. I cannot help but wonder why. I feel we must return to find some answers there. And perhaps we’ll find something that explains how ill we’ve felt. I am certain I’ve felt this way before,</i> she explained.</p>
<p><i>I would like to know why we’ve been feeling this way,</i> I admitted.</p>
<p><i>Then let’s go! You have the day off and your father and the prince have both already been by to see you, so you won’t get scolded,</i> she responded slyly.</p>
<p>I sighed and relented, getting my sword before heading out. Sothis was lucky that the Red Canyon was so close to the monastery or I would’ve refused. But I had to admit that I was curious too.</p>
<p>When I finally arrived Sothis was quite talkative as I wandered through the ruins. <i>Yes… It is all coming back to me. This structure… Oh, but it’s as though my memories are clouded. The most important pieces are obscured. But I once called this place home. I have no doubt.</i></p>
<p>She was interrupted by the sound of a terrible roar. A terrible roar like the one that had come from the beast that Miklan had become.</p>
<p><i>Oh! What was that awful sound?!</i> Sothis demanded.</p>
<p><i>It was a terrible scream,</i> I answered.</p>
<p>
  <i>Yes. And that was not a normal beast, but a huge and terrifying one! Look! There!</i>
</p>
<p>I whirled to see a massive, silver-scaled beast coming upon me. Its jaws opened revealing rows of razor sharp teeth as it let loose another bellow.</p>
<p>
  <i>A Demonic Beast… You must strike it down, Byleth!</i>
</p>
<p>She didn’t have to tell me. I didn’t think we would be leaving this canyon if I didn’t defeat it.</p>
<p>I got the Sword of the Creator up in time to catch its jaws as it lunged for me. I staggered back and then whipped the blade out, but the beast was surprisingly nimble as it dashed so the blade cut into its leg rather than piercing its chest.</p>
<p>I stumbled as a wave of vertigo hit me. The beast charged at me as I struggled to get my sword up to block its gaping maw. An axe suddenly cut through its neck and a lance thrust through its chest as Dedue and Dimitri appeared at my side.</p>
<p>I stared at them wide-eyed as they took down the monster. When it was vanquished, Dimitri rushed over to me and glared. He’d never made such an expression towards me before. “Professor, I am so glad you are unharmed. What if something had happened to you?!” he demanded.</p>
<p>“Your Highness, our instructor is safe. We should return to the monastery at once,” Dedue advised as he reached us.</p>
<p>Dimitri glanced at Dedue. “Yes, I suppose you are right. If we stay here much longer, we are sure to be reprimanded.” He turned back to me. “You are still feeling quite weak, are you not?”</p>
<p>I nodded mutely. My pathetic showing in the battle that had just occurred was evidence enough. Such a thing should not have been a problem for me.</p>
<p>Dimitri sighed and his expression softened slightly. He turned away from me and then crouched down. “Come on, I’ll carry you back.”</p>
<p>Embarrassment flooded through me at the idea of needing to be carried back, at the same time as elation at the prospect of it did. He had saved my life, because I had foolishly overestimated myself. I did not argue, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders after securing my sword at my hip. His hands slid under my thighs and I tried not to think about the way that it felt and the spark that it sent through my skin as he stood back up.</p>
<p>He gave a nod to Dedue and they started walking, setting a swift pace.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I murmured after a moment, glad for once that we were unable to meet each other’s eyes with the way he was holding me.</p>
<p>“I hope you will tell us what brought you here,” he responded.</p>
<p>“I thought I could find out why I’ve been so unwell.”</p>
<p>“What could you have possibly learned from coming here?”</p>
<p>I didn’t want to explain about Sothis. And without her, there was no reason for me to be here. “I don’t know.”</p>
<p>He shook his head. “Please, do not do anything rash like this again. If you absolutely must leave like that, come get me. I told you that you could depend on me.”</p>
<p>I nodded and was quiet again.</p>
<p><i>Oh dear… I put us in a bit of danger there! We are most fortunate that these delinquents followed us… You very nearly met your end! What a marvelous professor you must be, for your students to be so concerned,</i> Sothis said apologetically.</p>
<p>
  <i>Did you recall anything that might help us?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>All I know is that I absolutely have felt this way once before, but I cannot recall anything more. I just hope we continue to feel better. How disappointing to have dived so deep into danger, and yet to have nothing to show. But I am positive now that this was indeed my home long ago. Thank you for coming here, Byleth.</i>
</p>
<p><i>You’re welcome,</i> I told her.</p>
<p>And then I found myself slipping into sleep with warmth radiating from Dimitri’s back and wrapped in a scent that made me feel safe.</p>
<hr/>
<p>My condition continued to improve and by the end of the following week I felt like myself again. I’d returned to teaching, much to the relief of Seteth who had been filling in for me--and the relief of the Blue Lions, who claimed that the man was far stricter than I was.</p>
<p>Flayn, especially, seemed happy that I was back to teaching rather than her overprotective brother. She spoke of how wonderful it was to interact with others on a daily basis again and how it reminded her of her childhood, which she oddly remarked as being a very long time ago, despite how young she looked.</p>
<p>I spent the next week doing what I’d intended to do before I’d fallen so ill--talking with the knights to get more information on what was happening in Remire Village.</p>
<p>Sylvain expressed concerns, hoping that it did not turn out to be a new epidemic. He revealed that twenty years ago, a terrible plague had swept through Faerghus, even hitting Fhirdiad and taking the queen consort’s life. The life of Dimitri’s birth mother. A holy woman named Cornelia had apparently saved the Kingdom and been awarded a position as a mage in service of the royal family as a result. I hoped that we wouldn’t need a holy woman to deal with the situation in Remire.</p>
<p>Talking with Gilbert, he advised caution, noting that more and more of the villagers seemed to be acting strangely. He also expressed doubts about its origin as a disease since it was only affecting the villagers and not the knights stationed there.</p>
<p>The other knights I spoke to had little to share, aside from a general sense of unease. One expressed that he’d been terrified the entire time they were there and reported the place having an eerie air. It sounded utterly unlike the Remire Village that I knew.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was surprised when Dedue caught me outside the door to my room one evening. “Is something wrong?” I asked.</p>
<p>He frowned. “All this month, His Highness has been going out late into the night. He will not speak to me of it. Professor, do you happen to know anything?”</p>
<p>I paused as I considered. “As I recall, Lord Arundel arrived here this moon and would be staying for some time.”</p>
<p>“Lord Arundel is here? That may well explain it.” Dedue let out a sigh. “His Highness’ headaches have been growing steadily worse. I would prefer that he retire to bed early. Please, encourage him to do the same if you see him.”</p>
<p>I nodded as shame washed over me. Dimitri had been so preoccupied with me the whole month and never once indicated that he himself was in pain. </p>
<hr/>
<p>I was on my way out of the dining hall in the evening near the end of the month when my father came running up to me. He looked panicked.</p>
<p>“We’ve got to go,” he said. “Now.”</p>
<p>“What’s going on?” I asked quickly.</p>
<p>“The situation in Remire Village has changed drastically. We don’t know much more than that. We’re hearing reports that the villagers are killing each other. Some say houses are burning. Regardless, we need to move.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The Blue Lions had gathered quickly and we’d set out. Smoke permeated the air as we drew near. Flames lit the sky. But the worst part by far was the sounds.</p>
<p>“Kill! Kill!” A man’s voice yelled, followed by a strangled cry.</p>
<p>A woman’s voice laughed endlessly.</p>
<p>“Help! Somebody, please help!” A child screamed.</p>
<p>“What’s going on here…” My father said, his eyes wide.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head beside me and grunted as if in pain.</p>
<p>I turned to face him. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I… Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” he managed to get out before he seemed to compose himself. “Don’t waste your time on me. Saving the villagers is far more important. We haven’t a moment to lose!”</p>
<p>“What can we do amidst such confusion?” Dedue asked.</p>
<p>“We’ll have to take up arms against the villagers who are rampaging. If we strike carefully, it should be possible to spare their lives,” Felix suggested.</p>
<p>“Oh dear… Isn’t there a more peaceful way to deal with this?” Mercedes lamented.</p>
<p>“No matter how long it takes, we’ll need to rescue them all, one at a time,” Ingrid said. We were lucky that she was astride her pegasus, which would let us survey the village from above.</p>
<p>Ashe frowned. “Those who have gone mad may be victims themselves. Is it possible to save them?”</p>
<p>“Well, saving the poor people who aren’t crazy is definitely our top priority! Let’s get on with it!” Annette cried.</p>
<p>“Slow down, Annette,” Sylvain cautioned. “It won’t do anyone any good if we panic and get injured ourselves.”</p>
<p>Dedue turned to look through the flames towards the other end of the village. “Isn’t that…” He trailed off and looked at Dimitri. “Your Highness. Suspicious figures spotted in the village. They seem to be… watching the chaos.”</p>
<p>Dimitri looked in the direction Dedue had indicated. “Are they the ones responsible for this madness? If so… it’s clear what must be done.” He turned to look at me with a severe expression I’d never seen before and crossed his arms. “Kill them all. Don’t let a single one of them escape. Sever their limbs and crush their wicked skulls!”</p>
<p>Felix shot me a look as if to remind me of the warning he’d given me. But I was staring at Dimitri. Staring at him as I realized that maybe Felix was right after all, and maybe there was someone who could understand the parts of me I didn’t want the world to see. Someone who could see the unacceptable thing within myself and accept it anyway.</p>
<p>I shot a look at my father. “Dimitri and I will investigate them. You deal with this.”</p>
<p>Jeralt nodded hesitantly. I didn’t wait for any more confirmation before Dimitri and I started moving out into the village.</p>
<p>Behind us, my father was advising the remaining Blue Lions. “There are some suspicious looking ruffians out there, but our top priority is to rescue the villagers! Got it? I’ll rein in the villagers who’ve turned violent. You focus on rescuing the others.”</p>
<p>I knew I should be focused on the villagers. But wrath was building up in me, burning and writhing inside my chest with a painful ferocity. I found that I wanted to do exactly what Dimitri had said… kill them all.</p>
<p>Dimitri stopped me as we got closer. “The one giving orders to the others… isn’t that Tomas, the librarian?”</p>
<p>“I think it is,” I said. I turned as one of the mad villagers advanced upon me and used the hilt of my sword to knock him out.</p>
<p>“Tomas. What are you doing here?” Dimitri yelled across the road.</p>
<p>“I’m not Tomas. My name is Solon, the savior of all!” Tomas--no, Solon--called out. Purple miasma spread out from him and when it cleared a hideous man stood in his place. His head was enlarged with veins that bulged out of his unnaturally pale skin. His eyes were black with white irises. “What’s the matter? So shocked you can’t even speak? You were so easily fooled by my disguise… I was hiding away in Garreg Mach to get the blood of that little girl called Flayn. With her blood, we’ll be one step closer to realizing our goal.”</p>
<p>Enemy soldiers ran out from the building behind him and my stomach turned when I saw the Death Knight flanking them.</p>
<p>“I’ll have a bit of fun here too…” the Death Knight chanted. And even though I could not see his eyes, I felt his stare upon me.</p>
<p>I did not have time to focus on him though as soldiers advanced upon Dimitri and I. I could only trust that my father and the other students could handle the villagers while Dimitri and I met the enemy troops.</p>
<p>We did not make their deaths quick. We did not make their deaths pleasant. Even as things began to blur into the thick of battle, I caught sight of Dimitri plunging his lance into a man’s chest over and over with a wild look in his eyes.</p>
<p>I knew that Dimitri saw as I sliced a man’s stomach open and let his guts spill out across the ground. I knew that Dimitri saw as I slid the toe of my boot into the tangle of entrails and tugged them further out, disemboweling the man completely as he screamed as much as his lungs allowed. What Dimitri did not see was that I wound back the hands of time so I could do it again and again.</p>
<p>
  <i>I’m chilled to the bone by the depravity of my own actions.</i>
</p>
<p>Dimitri’s words echoed in my head, but my fury was overpowering. What was depraved was what had been done to this village.</p>
<p>When we had dispatched the enemies, I advanced on the Death Knight.</p>
<p>“My pleasure… Do your best to kill me with that blade…” he cooed at me. And then he swung his mighty scythe.</p>
<p>I caught it with my blade, digging my heels in to keep from staggering backwards. We traded several more blows. And then while I held off his scythe, the Death Knight reached forward with his free hand and traced my lips with an armored finger. I jerked back and prepared to swing again, but movement caught my eye behind the monstrous knight.</p>
<p>Dimitri was swinging through the air, his lance moving with him. “I will cut you to shreds!” he yelled.</p>
<p>The Death Knight turned to block him as he hissed, “You are not the one I crave.”</p>
<p>I took the opportunity to swing my own blade forward. The Death Knight managed to adjust so Dimitri’s strike cut deeply into his shoulder instead of his back, just as the Sword of the Creator sliced through his side.</p>
<p>The Death Knight staggered back from us. “My blade craves her flesh…” he growled, his gaze fixed on me before disappearing in a flash of red light.</p>
<p>“We let him get away…” Dimitri shook his head and then turned in Solon’s direction. “That doesn’t matter now. Our top priority is to kill Solon!”</p>
<p>My father’s voice rang out across the village, echoing the sentiment. “We’ve rescued as many as we can. It’s time to capture Solon!”</p>
<p>Dimitri and I went running, hurtling around the corner of the nearest building to the square where Solon stood.</p>
<p>“Ah, the cursed Fell Star…” Solon breathed as he caught sight of me. “This will be a fine measure of your power.” With a cackle, he thrust out his hand, a blast of purple miasma flying from his fist.</p>
<p>The Fell Star? That was not a name I’d heard before. “I think you mean the Ashen Demon,” I responded as I cut through the dark magic with the Sword of the Creator.</p>
<p>“Oh no, you are most certainly the Fell Star. How fascinating to hear that you fell ill this moon,” Solon crooned.</p>
<p>I didn’t have time to dwell on it as Dimitri lashed out with his lance. “You had something to do with that?!” he demanded, rage rippling through his voice.</p>
<p>“You are but a savage, insignificant beast,” Solon spit at him as he knocked the lance away with another surge of dark magic. “Yet you think you can kill me?”</p>
<p>“Byleth!” My father called out as he reached us. Seeing that I was safe, he whirled on Solon. “Why have you gone after this village? What are you planning?”</p>
<p>Solon flashed us all a toothy grin. “Heh. I could have conducted this experiment on any test subjects. Now that I have what I came for, I must bid you farewell.” And then he, too, vanished in a flash of red light.</p>
<p>“Wait!” My father yelled, but it was too late. “Damn it, he’s gone…”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s grip tightened on his lance. “I… will survey the village. There may still be some survivors.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I let my father lead me to the edge of the village.</p>
<p>“It looks like we somehow managed to sort things out. And casualties were… kept to a minimum,” Jeralt said. “They said they weren’t picky about who they used as their ‘test subjects.’ Because of them, the people of Remire Village…”</p>
<p>He was interrupted as a figure emerged from the tree line. It was a figure I recognized. The Flame Emperor, who had boldly claimed they would reforge the world, but not what they would reforge it into. “There you are,” he said.</p>
<p>My father narrowed his eyes. “That armor. So you’re the Flame Emperor.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I believe you have met my subordinate, the Death Knight,” the Flame Emperor responded calmly.</p>
<p>I couldn’t stop myself as I raised a hand to my lips and a shiver ran through me.</p>
<p>“Oh, we’ve met him alright,” my father bit out. I wondered if he had seen it too before Dimitri had attacked. “But back to you. You’re the one responsible for the destruction of this village.”</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor shook his head. “Do not get the wrong idea.”</p>
<p>“What in the blazes does that mean?” my father demanded.</p>
<p>“It is true that I am working with Solon. But that does not mean our objectives are the same. Had I known they planned to do this, I would have stopped it. You have my word,” the Flame Emperor said.</p>
<p>“Your words are meaningless,” my father shot back. “Now, I’ll have to insist you accompany us back to the monastery.”</p>
<p>“I cannot abide that. However, if you wish to join forces, I will hear your plea.” The Flame Emperor turned from my father to stare at me.</p>
<p>“What?!” my father spit out.</p>
<p>“If left to their own devices, they will commit countless more violent acts like this one. Do you not wish to prevent that?” the Flame Emperor asked. “With the Sword of the Creator on our side, Solon would not be a threat…”</p>
<p>I tightened my grip on the hilt of the Relic at my side. As if I would ever ally myself with anyone responsible for the suffering I’d witnessed tonight. “I must refuse.”</p>
<p>“Pity. Though not unexpected. Pray that you do not live to regret your choice,” the Flame Emperor said in a menacing tone.</p>
<p>“Jeralt. Professor,” Dedue’s voice sounded from behind us and we both turned. “Have you seen His Highness?”</p>
<p>“What’s wrong, kid?” Red light flashed behind us. “Huh?” My father whirled around. “Damn it! He’s gone…”</p>
<p>“Dimitri said he was going to search the village for more survivors,” I told Dedue.</p>
<p>When we were alone again, my father looked at me for a long moment. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Since coming to the monastery… you’ve changed.”</p>
<p>“How so?” I asked. But I didn’t think he was wrong. I could tell I’d changed, too.</p>
<p>“You’ve been angry since we first arrived in Remire Village. And you look so happy when you’re instructing the brats. Before the monastery, I’d never seen you bear your emotions like that. Not once.”</p>
<p>“You might be right,” I said with a faint smile. <i>It’s downright mesmerizing.</i> The words echoed in my mind of their own accord.</p>
<p>“Then perhaps it’s a good thing we came to the monastery, if only so I could see your face lit up like that.” He gave his head a gentle shake. “Or maybe there was never any reason for us to leave the monastery in the first place…”</p>
<p>I blinked. “Wasn’t I born after you left the monastery?”</p>
<p>“Ah… I’ve put my foot in my mouth, haven’t I? Though I suppose it may be nearly that time… Come to my office when you next have a moment to spare. There’s something I need to tell you.”</p>
<p>I nodded. He hesitated a moment and then gave my shoulder a squeeze before he walked away.</p>
<p><i>Just what was that about?</i> Sothis asked, although she knew I didn’t have an answer. <i>I can’t recall a time of old when you were at the monastery… I wonder what is hiding in the mist that is your past…</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>I found Dimitri in the training grounds after we got back to the monastery, despite how late the evening was getting. He turned as I entered, but he quickly dropped his gaze to the ground.</p>
<p>“Professor… I… I’m sorry you saw that side of me in the village. It must have been quite a shock to you and the others,” he said despairingly. “I’m mortified by my behavior. When I saw the chaos and violence there… my mind just went completely dark.”</p>
<p>I saw his lance plunging over and over into a man’s chest. But I also saw the entrails that I’d spilled and dragged out of a man. And I had done that again and again and again. “I felt the same,” I admitted. And I knew he would know I was telling the truth. Because he had seen me, just as I had seen him. Even if he had only seen me do it once.</p>
<p>“I see… So that happens to you as well, then.” He was quiet for a moment. “I told you before… that someday we may find ourselves facing something we simply cannot accept. That’s what the chaos in Remire Village was to me. Solon and the Flame Emperor are both beasts who must be eliminated. Demons who kill the innocent. They aren’t even human at this point.”</p>
<p>Demons who kill the innocent rather than demons who punish the wicked. If I was a demon, I realized the distinction was important. I didn’t disagree with him on any point, but where I was vicious, he was compassionate. “Where is this anger coming from?” I asked gently.</p>
<p>“It must be hard to fathom. It’s true that I don’t have any connection to those villagers. And yet… You see, Professor… I saw the same flames of torment just four years ago… in Duscur.” He let out a small, anguished sound. “My father… my stepmother… Four years ago, they lost their lives to those flames. I’ll never forget… I still remember their faces. Their screams. The tortured last moments of every person who died that day… But right now… All that matters is that we do whatever we can to help the surviving villagers get back to their normal lives.”</p>
<p>I nodded. There were so many things I wanted to say, but every time I willed my mouth to open, they evaporated on my tongue. Even more than words, I wanted to reach out to him, I wanted to embrace him. And more than words, more than embracing him, I wanted to slaughter whoever had been responsible for causing him such pain.</p>
<p>“Thank you. For everything.” He bowed to me and then turned away towards the door. “There’s a reason I came to the Officers Academy. Just one reason. I came here for revenge. And one day, I will have it.”</p>
<p>And then before I could tell him that I’d help him, before I could tell him that I’d do anything to keep that anguish from his voice, he left.</p>
<hr/>
<p>After tossing and turning in my bed for what must have been at least an hour, grinding my teeth every time I thought of the crazed villagers in Remire Village, the buildings burning, the inn where I’d stayed with my father a pile of rubble, the screams that rose from the flames, I finally admitted that sleep would not be finding me tonight.</p>
<p>I rose, tugging on my shirt, shorts, and boots and found myself stalking off towards the training grounds.</p>
<p>As I started to tug the door open, I was met with the crashing sound of a weapon striking a training dummy. Dimitri stopped and turned to look at me standing in the doorway. His brow had been furrowed, a deep frown on his face, but now surprise flitted across his features. “I apologize, Professor. Was my practice too loud?” he inquired, adjusting his grip on the training lance in his hand. He must have come back at some point after we’d spoken earlier.</p>
<p>“No. I couldn’t sleep either,” I said, adding the last word as I observed that he was still fully dressed. I wondered if he’d even attempted to sleep or if he knew himself well enough to not bother to try after the hell that we’d witnessed. As I spoke, I crossed to the weapon rack at the wall by the door and withdrew a wooden sword.</p>
<p>Dimitri nervously rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Seeing as neither of us can sleep, would you perhaps like to spar?”</p>
<p>I nodded, stepping forward and raising the sword in front of me. I wasn’t happy that he was as shaken by the events that had taken place as I was, but I was immensely grateful to have a real opponent instead of a training dummy to rage against. And on top of that, an opponent who seemed to understand exactly what I was feeling without me having to struggle to put it into words.</p>
<p>I beckoned to him and it was all the invitation he needed before we were trading blows. With each crack of wood on wood as we blocked and parried each other, I felt the tension slowly ebbing away. Each impact felt like a question and an answer and no words were needed.</p>
<p>Sweat began to bead on my forehead. His strength seemed unending, but his flaw was that he was still so straightforward and earnest in his attacks.</p>
<p>As I parried his next strike, I ducked, swiping my leg out and catching behind his foot with mine, pulling it out from beneath him as I swept it back. At the same time, he brought the blunt end of his lance down beneath the steady foot holding me up and swept it out from under me. Even as we were crashing to the ground, I couldn’t help but smile. The charming, chivalrous prince, resorting to underhanded mercenary tactics to win.</p>
<p>As we fell, I felt a steady hand on my wrist, tugging me, and I felt his body shifting under mine. My practice sword clattered to the ground a foot away from us. The impact that I expected with the hard ground did not come, instead I crashed into him while he took the brunt of the fall. He was flat on his back and I was on my stomach. In one hand, he still gripped his lance on the ground, but the other hand was resting gently on my back.</p>
<p>I became intensely aware of the feeling of my body pressed against his, and I could feel something hammering in his chest. I lay still for a moment, getting my bearings, before I pressed my hands on his shoulders, raising my chest enough to see his face. As my hips shifted, I felt something long and hard in his pants pressed up against me. Our eyes locked and I could feel heat not only creeping into my cheeks but also coiling up tightly in my core. His own cheeks were flushed but his wide eyes did not leave mine as the hand on my back slowly slid down to rest on the curve of my hip.</p>
<p>My blood hummed and burned as something in me absolutely ached for him. I leaned forward slightly, a lock of my hair falling forward to where it just barely grazed his cheek. We were almost close enough to share breath. “I’m disarmed,” I said quietly. “You win.”</p>
<p>The grip he had on my hip tightened. I felt his hips shift upward, that hard length in his pants grinding up against where the heat within me was pooling and demanding friction. But his grip on the lance had also tightened, and the snap of wood shattering snapped us back to reality.</p>
<p>Too close, too close, too close. My head was spinning. I could barely comprehend how we’d gotten this close. I didn’t want to think about how the only thing I wanted in that moment was to be <i>closer</i>. I scrambled to my feet and he was just as fast getting to his own.</p>
<p>“Thank you for the sparring session, Professor,” he managed to get out before he slipped out the door, leaving me standing alone, staring at the wooden lance that he had snapped clean in two in his grip and the wooden sword sitting several feet away from it.</p>
<p>Mercifully, the women’s baths were empty when I made it in there to wash off the sweat. I closed my eyes as I soaked in the water, willing my body to cool, but my blood still felt far hotter than the bath.</p>
<p>It seemed that since the day we’d met I’d been feeling many things I’d never felt before, including the heat that was still building in my core. I had never so much as smiled before coming here, and now this prince had awoken something so primal and powerful inside of me. I <i>ached</i> for him.</p>
<p>For the first time in my life, I began to explore that heat that was growing within me. As my hands roamed, I imagined that it was a different set of hands running over my skin and a different set of fingers plunging into my center. And when pleasure crashed over me like a wave that left me gasping, I was left burning with shame in its wake.</p>
<p><i>Do you want to talk about it?</i> Sothis asked gently.</p>
<p>The feeling of shame only intensified knowing that she was aware of everything that had just taken place. <i>There’s nothing to talk about.</i></p>
<p><i>Why must you be so difficult! I know the entire contents of your heart and soul, so you should know there is no fooling me,</i> she scolded.</p>
<p>I bit my lip. <i>None of this makes any sense.</i></p>
<p><i>The heart wants what the heart wants, dear one,</i> she responded, and I felt warmth around me like she was wrapping me in an embrace.</p>
<p>My heart was being increasingly clear about what it wanted, but as it became clearer, it also became clearer that what my heart wanted was desperately out of reach. And it would be far simpler to pretend that nothing at all had happened. I didn’t even have to pretend--nothing had happened.</p>
<p><i>Do you know what Solon meant when he called me the Fell Star?</i> I asked suddenly.</p>
<p>
  <i>Hmm… It feels familiar, like a name that is on the tip of my tongue that I cannot quite recall. It seems we’ve found ourselves entangled in yet another mystery.</i>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning I delivered my report to Rhea and Seteth in the former’s audience chamber.</p>
<p>“You did well handling that awful business in Remire Village. I am certain the goddess shares in our grief at the senselessness of that calamity. More importantly, I was shocked to hear that our own Tomas was actually a dark mage. I must reflect on our blindness,” Rhea lamented.</p>
<p>She should. Not just Tomas, but Jeritza as well.</p>
<p>Sothis, clearly, agreed with me. <i>You surely must! You failed to notice that a rat was hiding in your own home. Pathetic! Who are these wicked foes? How did Tomas escape your gaze?</i></p>
<p>Part of me wished Rhea could hear Sothis, just so the companion in my heart could tear her apart. But instead of voicing all of Sothis’ thoughts, I asked carefully, “Who are these villains?”</p>
<p>It was Seteth who answered, “Tomas came to the monastery forty years ago, by recommendation of House Ordelia of the Alliance. Around eight years ago, he went back to House Ordelia before returning to the monastery again just last year. After having worked at Garreg Mach for decades, why would he betray us now? Just what did he hope to accomplish? Jeritza became a professor at the Officers Academy because of a recommendation from the Imperial nobility. Supposing he is the Death Knight, that means that our enemy is an organization that has taken root in at least two territories.”</p>
<p>Rhea frowned. “In the long history of the Church of Seiros… No, long before even that… There have been an endless number of threats to the peace of Fódlan. Yet, those who oppose us still operate in the shadows, their identities a mystery. I believe Solon and the Death Knight are merely one part of a much larger whole.</p>
<p><i>A threat to Fódlan’s peace? That means we have no choice. We have to stop them all!</i> Sothis said to me defiantly.</p>
<p>“They must be stopped,” I agreed aloud, as much to Sothis as to Rhea and Seteth.</p>
<p>Rhea smiled at me. I didn’t know whether to smile back or to run. “I have truly come to rely upon you. I believe that the monastery will remain safe so long as we have you. We do not yet know the enemy’s objective or whereabouts. For now, please devote yourself to preparing for whatever comes next.”</p>
<p>“That is all for today,” Seteth said and then excused himself.</p>
<p>I turned to follow him out.</p>
<p>“Professor. Please wait,” Rhea asked, but it was more like a command.</p>
<p>I faced her again.</p>
<p>“I know there is much that you still do not understand. However, one thing is clear. You possess great power. I believe that you are destined to be a source of great hope for all. In any case, I expect great things from you. Walk this world proudly, dear Byleth. May the goddess Sothis protect you.”</p>
<p>I had been about to ask her if she had heard about me disemboweling our enemies and if that inspired great hope, until she said Sothis’ name. I froze.</p>
<p><i>The goddess Sothis?! Is that what she just said?</i> Sothis demanded as she, too, heard her own name.</p>
<p>Rhea watched me closely. “Is something the matter?”</p>
<p>
  <i>Stay on your guard.</i>
</p>
<p>“It’s nothing,” I said quickly. It made no sense anyway.</p>
<p>“I see. In that case, farewell,” she said, dismissing me.</p>
<p><i>Do not say something that we may regret!</i> Sothis cautioned. <i>She… I… What exactly am I? For now, let’s leave this place. Please… Go!</i></p>
<p>I did not argue with her as I turned on my heel and fled.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>It was unlike his professor to be late to class. The class waited patiently, with Annette suggesting that perhaps she had just overslept. But when she still did not show up, Dimitri found himself growing increasingly worried. He’d been distracted by Lord Arundel’s sudden arrival, but now that he thought back, she had looked unwell the day before.</p>
<p>“Dedue and I will go check on the professor,” he announced to the class, choosing to deliberately ignore the grin that Sylvain flashed his way.</p>
<p>“Professor!” he called through the door when they arrived as he lifted his hand and knocked. Silence. “Professor? Are you in there?”</p>
<p>There was the sound of movement beyond the door, followed by a soft groan.</p>
<p>He glanced at Dedue. “Go tell the others that we won’t be having class today. And then go find Jeralt.”</p>
<p>“As you wish, Your Highness,” Dedue responded with a bow before departing.</p>
<p>“Professor, I apologize, but I’m coming in,” he called through the door again.</p>
<p>Inside, he found her collapsed on the floor. Panic seized around his heart, squeezing it tightly as he crouched at her side and lifted her into his arms.</p>
<p>Her eyes focused on him briefly as he stood before her head slumped against his chest. “Dimitri,” she slurred.</p>
<p>With her clutched against him, he could breathe in her scent. It was like the first rain of spring, the sweet petrichor that brought life after the harshness of winter.</p>
<p>“Professor! Are you alright?!” Her skin glistened with sweat. He brushed his hand over her forehead, pushing the green-black tresses out of the way to feel her skin. Even through the gloves he always wore he could feel her burning with fever. “I’m taking you to Professor Manuela.”</p>
<p>Her hand gripped weakly on his arm. “No. Bed.”</p>
<p>That was out of the question. For a multitude of reasons, the least of which being that she was clearly very ill. “I really think I should take you to the infirmary,” he insisted.</p>
<p>“No,” she mumbled. “I just need… to rest.”</p>
<p>Indecision warred within him, and the headache he was fighting did not help it. He finally relented with a sigh, promising himself that he would drag her there if he had to if she got any worse. He seated her on the bed. She started trying to slide out of her jacket when he reached out and lifted it off her shoulders.</p>
<p>He wished that she hadn’t gotten fully dressed before collapsing, for she did not look like she would manage well with her armor which meant the task fell to him. He took the chair from her desk and placed it next to the bed to sit in.</p>
<p>He’d fantasized about undressing her, and even imagined her face looking sweaty and flushed like it currently was. But those fantasies were supposed to be under the circumstances where he was about to indulge himself in her, not when she’d collapsed on the floor of her room from weakness.</p>
<p>Dimitri found himself grateful for both the pain pounding in his head and the concentration required by the delicate task of undoing the buckles on her armor. It gave him something to focus on that wasn’t imagining what it would be like to not stop with her armor, imagining what it would be like to slide the lace stockings down her legs and feel her smooth skin under his fingers.</p>
<p>He was still thinking about it. He bit the inside of his cheek hard enough that the flavor of blood would have permeated his mouth were he only able to taste.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she mumbled as he finished with her armor and boots and she nestled under the covers.</p>
<p>He had to get out of this room. “Get some rest, Professor. I’ll come check on you later.” He rose to leave, turning towards the door when he felt a tug on his left shoulder. He turned back to see the blue cloth of his cape clenched in her fingers.</p>
<p>“Will you stay?” she whispered, almost too quietly for him to hear.</p>
<p>He was undone by her words. He never wanted to leave her side. He pulled his cape from her grasp as gently as he could and sat, clasping her hand in his own. “Always,” he said back softly.</p>
<p>Soon after, her breathing had slowed to a steady rhythm, and Dimitri found himself resting his head in his free hand, trying not to dwell on what a fool he was.</p>
<p><i>A free day, you could be following Lord Arundel instead,</i> his father suggested.</p>
<p>He’d followed Lord Arundel the night before, after all. And he intended to follow the man tonight, and as many nights as he was at the monastery. To try and find out what he was doing. But he couldn’t leave his professor’s side now, not when she’d asked him to stay.</p>
<p><i>Just wait until she finds out who you really are--she won’t want you to stay then,</i> Glenn scoffed.</p>
<p>And that was how he passed the time while she slept. Listening to the voices of the dead berating him as he studied the way her expression softened into something vulnerable while at rest.</p>
<p>He’d lost track of how long it had been when she finally stirred, finally pulling her hand from his own.</p>
<p>Her eyes fluttered open and focused on him. She smiled delicately as he brushed his hand across her forehead again. The fever seemed to have gone down a bit.</p>
<p>“Are you hungry?” he asked her, hoping he’d have an excuse to leave the room. Even just for a moment, to take a breath that wasn’t charged with her fragrance and try to collect himself.</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>“I’ll go get you something. Stay and rest, Professor.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>He’d been on his way back to his professor’s room after piling a tray with every dish he could manage, picking ones that he’d seen her enjoy or ones that looked like he might have liked them once when he passed by the greenhouse. It was a spur of the moment decision that sent him in, and he couldn’t explain what drew him to the sweetly perfumed clusters of tiny, muted pink flowers.</p>
<p>After he’d cut the stems of several of the blooms, he placed them in the second glass of water on the tray that he’d intended to keep for himself. This was a far better use for it anyway. After all, she’d expressed the month before that she liked flowers.</p>
<p>He held the tray in one hand and knocked with the other, willing his grip not to warp the metal. “Professor?”</p>
<p>Dimitri had been expecting her to just respond from within, so he was shocked when the door opened, and he found himself standing face to face with Jeralt. The man’s gaze swept quickly over the tray in Dimitri’s hand and then returned to his face, but the Blade Breaker said nothing.</p>
<p>“Ah, Jeralt, sir. I apologize for the intrusion. I was just getting some food for my--” He quickly corrected himself, sure that he shouldn’t refer to her as <i>his</i> to her father. “--the professor. Did Dedue find you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he found me. Thanks for sending him. Here, I’ll take that,” Jeralt said, taking the tray from him and setting it back in the room. Jeralt returned to the threshold of the door and crossed out, closing the door softly behind him.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked back towards the door. “Is the professor alright?”</p>
<p>Jeralt nodded. “She’s sleeping right now. Her fever seems to have gone down.”</p>
<p>Dimitri found himself breathing a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank goodness.” If her fever was down from the time Jeralt had arrived, it must have been significantly better from when he’d first found her.</p>
<p>The man studied him in silence for a few moments, his arms folded across his chest. “I’m going to say this once,” Jeralt began. “Byleth is the most important thing in the entire world to me. You keep an eye on her, you hear me?”</p>
<p>Dimitri wasn’t about to express to her father that she was quickly becoming one of the most important things in his world as well. Instead, he bowed and earnestly promised, “You have my word, sir. I will protect the professor with my life.” He hadn’t even realized just how true the words were until they passed his lips.</p>
<p>Jeralt turned back to the door. “I’ll make sure she eats. Now, go on.” It was a clear dismissal. But Dimitri was not about to complain when he’d received something that felt almost like approval from her father.</p>
<hr/>
<p>His professor had taken the week off to rest, partly at his own insistence. Seteth ended up filling in for her and giving lectures. Dimitri went to see her each day, but he did not stay as he had the first day, nor did she ask him to.</p>
<p>“Another headache, Your Highness?” Dedue asked him following their last lecture at the end of the week.</p>
<p>“Yes, but I am perfectly fine,” he assured the man.</p>
<p>“You have been going out quite late…”</p>
<p>“I have just been doing some training, it is nothing for you to trouble yourself with,” Dimitri lied carefully.</p>
<p>He didn’t hear Dedue’s response as he caught sight of his professor walking towards the gates of the monastery.  Dimitri frowned. “It is most unlike our professor to go wandering alone like that…”</p>
<p>“Curious, Your Highness?” Dedue asked.</p>
<p>Curious, but also troubled. She had been sick enough to collapse at the start of the week, and even today she hadn’t seemed like she had her usual energy. “Yes. I have an uneasy feeling about this. Let’s retrieve our weapons and follow her.”</p>
<p>They followed her all the way to the Red Canyon. She was alone the entire time and gave no indication of what could have possibly drawn her to such a location. She wandered amongst the ruins, and they’d lost sight of her when a horrific cry rang out. The cry of a beast.</p>
<p>Dimitri went sprinting towards that cry, Dedue following him closely. And when they caught sight of the beast, it was lunging towards his professor who was struggling to get to her feet. What had she been thinking?! She was clearly still too ill to fight properly.</p>
<p>Dimitri rushed out, thrusting his lance into the beast’s chest as Dedue brought his axe down on its neck. When it finally fell, he whirled on his professor, rage coursing through him. “Professor, I am so glad you are unharmed. What if something had happened to you?!” he demanded. She could have been killed! If he had not thought to follow her, he likely would have lost her… Just as he lost everyone he loved.</p>
<p>“Your Highness, our instructor is safe,” Dedue said, pulling Dimitri from his thoughts. “We should return to the monastery at once.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I suppose you are right,” Dimitri agreed. “If we stay here much longer, we are sure to be reprimanded.” He looked at his professor once more. “You are still feeling quite weak, are you not?”</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>Dimitri sighed softly, his anger beginning to ebb away as he accepted that she truly was safe for the moment. But he was not about to let her walk the entire way back in her current condition. He turned away from her and crouched down to where she could reach his shoulders. “Come on, I’ll carry you back.” He was grateful that such a position had turned his face away from hers, just so she could not see the blush that he could feel coloring his cheeks.</p>
<p>He expected her to argue with him, was waiting for her to insist that she did not require his help when her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her chest pressed flush against his back. He slid his hands under her thighs, trying not to relish the touch too much as he stood back up.</p>
<p>He nodded to Dedue and they departed, walking briskly.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she murmured, her breath hot against his neck.</p>
<p>“I hope you will tell us what brought you here,” he said, finding that while his anger had subsided, it didn’t mean he was not upset at all. He hoped she at least had a good reason for risking her life so recklessly.</p>
<p>“I thought I could find out why I’ve been so unwell,” she responded.</p>
<p>“What could you possibly have learned from coming here?” he asked incredulously. Sometimes people fell ill, it was simply the way of things. His own birth mother had been lost to illness.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” she said simply.</p>
<p>He shook his head in disbelief. “Please, do not do anything rash like this again. If you absolutely must leave like that, come get me. I told you that you could depend on me.”</p>
<p>She nodded and fell back into silence.</p>
<p>Before long, her head slumped forward onto his shoulder and her breathing slowed to a soft, even tempo against his neck. She was unbelievably light in his arms, and Dimitri found himself wishing that he and Dedue could take a more leisurely pace back to the monastery, just so the moment could last longer.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri had found himself in the training grounds when they got back to the monastery. His head was aching and he was horrified by the way he’d let his mask slip.</p>
<p><i>Looks like you let the real you show,</i> Glenn teased him.</p>
<p>The door opened and he turned to find his professor standing there. She had seen a glimpse of the beast within him. He averted her gaze. “Professor… I… I’m sorry you saw that side of me in the village. It must have been quite a shock to you and the others. I’m mortified by my behavior. When I saw the chaos and violence there… my mind just went completely dark,” he confessed.</p>
<p>“I felt the same way,” she responded.</p>
<p>He finally met her gaze. “I see… So that happens to you as well, then.”</p>
<p>He had seen her carve a man open and let his entrails spill out. He’d watched as she slipped her foot through the web of intestines and tug them out. She had indeed seen a glimpse of the beast within him, but she had not turned away. She’d answered it with a glimpse of her own darkness, a glimpse of the demon that she thought herself to be. And he loved her all the more for it--someone who might be able to truly understand him.</p>
<p>“I told you before… that someday we may find ourselves facing something we simply cannot accept,” he continued. “That’s what the chaos in Remire Village was to me. Solon and the Flame Emperor are both beasts who must be eliminated. Demons who kill the innocent. They aren’t even human at this point.”</p>
<p>“Where is this anger coming from?” she asked in a soothing tone.</p>
<p>“It must be hard to fathom. It’s true that I don’t have any connection to those villagers. And yet… You see, Professor… I saw the same flames of torment just four years ago… in Dsucur.”</p>
<p>He would never forget that day. The flames all around him. The bodies all around him, everywhere. Glenn, who had died protecting Dimitri’s useless life, his body so broken that there would be no hope of recovering it. His stepmother, vanished into the inferno. His father, with his head severed clean from his shoulders. That severed head still yelling, “Avenge us! Those who killed us… Tear them apart! Destroy them all!” The screaming had been deafening, and his own screaming had been the loudest of all.</p>
<p>He continued, “My father… my stepmother… Four years ago, they lost their lives to those flames. I’ll never forget… I still remember their faces. Their screams. The tortured last moments of every person who died that day…” He tried to banish the thoughts, but there was nowhere to banish them to. Not with his father and Glenn and his stepmother all there still, staring at him, their eyes demanding that he carry out his duty to them. “But right now… All that matters is that we do whatever we can to help the surviving villagers get back to their normal lives.”</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>“Thank you. For everything.” He turned away from her. “There’s a reason I came to the Officers Academy. Just one reason. I came here for revenge. And one day, I will have it.”</p>
<p>With those words, he quickly left her. If he had to become a beast to seize his revenge, then so be it.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri never slept well, plagued by the constant nightmares of that day, but he knew it would be an impossibility with Glenn and his father standing over him. The last place he had wanted to go back to that night was the training ground where he had stupidly poured his heart out to his professor and shown his true face again when he’d told her of his reason for being there. But training was the only thing that sometimes brought a measure of relief.</p>
<p>He often came to train late at night like this when he couldn’t sleep and was rarely, if ever, disturbed, so he was surprised when he heard the door opening. And even more shocked when the figure that entered was his professor, looking as if she’d thrown on the barest amount of clothing and come from bed.</p>
<p>“I apologize, Professor. Was my practice too loud?” he asked, hoping that he had not woken her. Her room was the nearest to the training grounds, after all.</p>
<p>“No. I couldn’t sleep either,” she said, making her way to the weapons rack and drawing a practice sword from it. He doubted it was the dead who kept her awake.</p>
<p>Dimitri nervously rubbed the back of his neck, relieved that she did not seem to have any interest in bringing up their earlier discussion. “Seeing as neither of us can sleep, would you perhaps like to spar?”</p>
<p>She nodded and moved into a defensive stance. When she beckoned him forward, he rushed forward to meet her. And he found he was grateful to have an opponent who offered a real challenge--an opponent who seemed to understand parts of him on a fundamental level. An opponent who had disemboweled a man with an expression on her face like there was a piece of her that was just as sanguinary as him.</p>
<p>He wanted to win against her. And he knew deep down that it was because he wanted to impress her. He wanted her to look at him with adoration that he would never deserve, the same way she’d looked at him when she had realized that he was behind the Death Knight that night. But it had not been vengeance that had spurred him into action there--it had been the fury in his chest when he saw that monster tracing <i>his</i> professor’s lips.</p>
<p>Dimitri had been paying a lot of attention to her. To her lectures, to her fighting, to the subtle tells she had… to everything about her. He had watched her distract Felix the first time they sparred by getting him to focus too closely on the strikes they were trading, just as he was attempting to do to her now. It was with that thought in mind that he brought the blunt end of his lance down and knocked her off her feet. Just as she swept his own out from under him.</p>
<p>He reacted instinctively, moving to cushion her fall. He didn’t think about the way it would put her body on top of his, but as they landed, the feeling of her body against his was all he could think about. He ached and throbbed for her in a way he’d never ached for anything.</p>
<p>For a moment they were still, and then her hands pressed against his shoulders and she pushed her chest up enough to meet his gaze. Her hips shifted as she did so, pressing against his cock where he was already long and hard for her. Color stained her cheeks as their eyes locked. But she was looking at him as if, as she always seemed to, she might be feeling the same thing that he was.</p>
<p>He found his hand sliding down her back to settle on the curve of her hip. She leaned forward, a section of her hair falling to brush against his cheek. Their lips were so close. It would be so easy for him to just lift his head and kiss her as he’d been dying to do for so long.</p>
<p>“I’m disarmed. You win,” she said softly.</p>
<p>He could feel her breath against his lips. He’d never so much as kissed anyone before--never desired to so much until he met her. But in that moment, he wanted to do far more than kiss her. As his grip tightened on her hip and he pressed his hips upward, he found that he was tempted to tear their clothes off and bury himself so deep within her that it would be impossible to tell where one of them ended and the other began.</p>
<p>The lance he was still holding in his other hand snapped clean in two with a loud crack that shattered through the building tension. She was on her feet before he could blink, and he was quick to follow suit.</p>
<p>“Thank you for the sparring session, Professor,” he said, nearly tripping over his words in his hurry to get them out, nearly tripping over his feet in his hurry to get out of that room. Because if he did not get out of that room, he was sure that he would be taking her on the floor.</p>
<p>Mercifully, it was late and the path back to his bedroom was devoid of anyone else. He closed the door and sat on his bed, willing his body and his mind to cool. But no matter what he did, he couldn’t chase her away.</p>
<p>
  <i>I’m disarmed. You win.</i>
</p>
<p>Her words echoed in his mind unbidden and he was consumed by desire, ravenous with it, when he recalled how her body had felt pressed up against his.</p>
<p>Shame burned through him as he made his decision, but when he laid down in his bed and wrapped his hand around his throbbing cock, the shame extinguished to be replaced by nothing but an all-consuming, burning, yearning for her. His free hand moved to cover his mouth, to muffle the small moans that slipped out.</p>
<p>As he stroked himself, he imagined that his hand was her hand, her mouth, her slick center. He imagined the kind of expressions that he might be able coax out of her with his hand, his mouth, his cock. And he imagined the way his name might sound from her lips as he brought her to climax.</p>
<p>The thought brought him to his own shuddering finish, as he breathed, “Byleth.” He would not think of her as his professor. Not right now, not in this moment.</p>
<p>And when he finished, even as the lust began to subside and the shame began to resurface, he was also left with something else--silence, blessed silence, just for a moment. And for the first time in a long time, Dimitri was able to sleep.</p><h3>Jeralt</h3>
<p>Byleth was sleeping soundly. Jeralt had rushed to her room when the student from Duscur had finally tracked him down to explain to him that she was sick. She’d never been ill before, not like this. She’d been injured plenty, injuries that Jeralt had scolded her for, terrified every time she would show up blank faced and bloodied, giving no indication that it even hurt until he asked. And even then, she would just nod.</p>
<p>He was trying not to dwell on his worry when there was a soft knock on the door. “Professor?”</p>
<p>Jeralt rose and yanked the door open, not wanting Byleth to wake. He found himself face to face with the brat who’d come asking about her day of birth. Dimitri.</p>
<p>How many years had it been since he’d given up his duty to protect the Blaiddyd line? At least a hundred years. Long enough that he was long forgotten, that he was sure of. It had been after he’d saved Rhea’s life, taking what should have been a fatal blow for her and then she’d somehow saved his life. The only remnant left of that time was the dagger he’d given Byleth.</p>
<p>And now, here was the crown prince of the damn Kingdom caring for his daughter while she was ill. Bringing her enough food to feed an army. And bringing her flowers. Not just any flowers, either. The tray the boy was nervously clutching had a glass with a few cuts of valerian in it. Jeralt would’ve recognized those tiny, pale pink blooms anywhere. Sitri’s favorite. Byleth had grown to look so much like her mother.</p>
<p><i>He’s in love with her,</i> he realized as he stared at the prince.</p>
<p>His daughter had never been easy to interact with. She hadn’t even spoken until her fifth year, and even then, it had been one word. “Pretty,” she’d said. They’d been in the Kingdom for a job, and as the snow had begun to fall, she’d held out her hands and stared up at it.</p>
<p>Jeralt had thought his heart might stop like his daughter’s when he’d heard her speak. He was certain it had skipped a beat.</p>
<p>She’d been bundled up in every fur he could manage, because he knew she wouldn’t say anything if she was uncomfortable. “Are you cold?” he’d asked.</p>
<p>And she had just shaken her head and looked back up at the snow. “Pretty,” she’d said again.</p>
<p>She’d changed since coming back to the monastery though, that much was clear. Jeralt had even seen his daughter smile for the first time in his life, and he’d again thought his heart might stop at the sight of it.</p>
<p>“Ah, Jeralt, sir,” the boy in front of him said awkwardly. “I apologize for the intrusion. I was just getting some food for my--the professor. Did Dedue find you?”</p>
<p>Some food was an understatement. It looked like the prince had piled half of the dishes in the dining hall onto the tray. And that meant the brat was paying attention, watching Byleth closely enough to know that she was ravenous.</p>
<p>“Yeah, he found me. Thanks for sending him,” Jeralt responded. “Here, I’ll take that.” He retrieved the tray from Dimitri and set it on the desk in the room. Then he stepped back out, softly shutting the door behind him.</p>
<p>“Is the professor alright?” the boy asked when Jeralt turned back to him.</p>
<p>“She’s sleeping right now. Her fever seems to have gone down.”</p>
<p>The prince let out a breath of relief. “Oh, thank goodness.”</p>
<p>The boy was definitely in love with her. Jeralt crossed his arms and fixed his gaze on the prince. “I’m going to say this once. Byleth is the most important thing in the entire world to me. You keep an eye on her, you hear me?”</p>
<p>The boy’s eyes widened and then he bowed deeply. “You have my word, sir. I will protect the professor with my life.”</p>
<p>It was funny how things had changed. Jeralt had once protected the Blaiddyd line, and now the Blaiddyd heir was pledging to protect his daughter. Of course, he’d done his best to raise Byleth so she wouldn’t need any protecting.</p>
<p>Jeralt turned back to the door. “I’ll make sure she eats,” he assured the prince. “Now, go on.” It was bittersweet to watch his kid grow up--he felt a mix of sadness and pride as he wondered if she still needed her father or not.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Cause of Sorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A ball is held at Garreg Mach, and then Byleth and the Blue Lions investigate a report of Demonic Beasts at an abandoned chapel.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>I wasn't able to get this up early, but good news is I did meet my project deadline at work, so hopefully things calm down a bit and I miiiight be able to get an extra chapter up this next week! If not, expect an update by Friday at the latest. Thank you to everyone for sticking with me as I get this written!</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Can You Feel My Heart - Bring Me The Horizon<br/>I guess this song is a meme or something on TikTok now? I'm not hip enough to have TikTok, I swear I just really think it fits well!</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>I’d mercifully been granted a few days break from seeing Rhea after our disastrous last meeting, but I was soon summoned to learn of my mission for the new month.</p>
<p>“We are planning a grand ball for this month. I am sure the students will be most pleased,” Rhea said brightly.</p>
<p>I could imagine the students being happy about that. I also couldn’t imagine an event that I would be more out of place at.</p>
<p>“Yes, certainly,” Seteth agreed. “However, we must not devote all of our time to frivolity. We have a new mission for you. We have found evidence of someone sneaking into an unused chapel.”</p>
<p>“Was something stolen?” I asked.</p>
<p>“No, there was nothing of value in that building,” Rhea said with a shake of her head. “We do not yet know what the intruders’ objectives are.”</p>
<p>“This month, your class is tasked with guarding the chapel and investigating these intruders. With the recent state of affairs surrounding the holy church, we cannot afford to overlook any abnormality, no matter how seemingly trivial,” Seteth said seriously.</p>
<p>Rhea continued, “I am ordering a seasoned knight to assist you to ensure the safety of the students. In times like these, I am afraid we must always expect the worst.”</p>
<p>“Which knight?” I asked hopefully.</p>
<p>“Reporting for duty, Lady Rhea,” my father’s voice echoed through the chamber as he entered.</p>
<p>“I thought you two could use the time to bond,” Rhea said and fixed that stare that always made my skin crawl on my father. “And to speak of important matters…”</p>
<p>“Appreciate the thought,” Jeralt responded stiffly.</p>
<p>“Bear in mind that Jeralt has a separate mission of his own. He will join you once it is finished,” Seteth stated.</p>
<p>“It’s true. I’ll be away from the monastery for a while.” My father looked at me with a warm smile. “But when I return… I’ll come and watch you work. I’ll be looking forward to it.”</p>
<p>I smiled back at him and nodded. Hopefully it would be a more pleasant opportunity to work with my father again than Remire Village had been.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dedue had taken Dimitri and left as soon as I’d finished my first lecture of the month, but the rest of the class remained gathered. I had worried that things might be awkward with the prince, but he seemed just as content as I was to not discuss the night we’d sparred. Which, I reminded myself, was to be expected as nothing had even happened.</p>
<p>“Is something going on?” I asked the remaining students.</p>
<p>Sylvain grinned at me. “His Highness’ day of birth is the twentieth of this moon.”</p>
<p>“We’re going to throw a party!” Annette said brightly.</p>
<p>Felix grunted. “Who’d want to give that boar a gift…”</p>
<p>“Felix, will you at least try to get along with His Highness?” Ingrid said with a groan.</p>
<p>“Would you like to help us with the cake, Professor?” Mercedes asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,” I said eagerly. “I don’t know a lot about baking, but I’d love to help.”</p>
<p>“We can teach you for a change! Oh, this will be so much fun,” Mercedes responded.</p>
<p>“I’m in charge of snacks,” Ashe informed me. “Dedue would be too, but his job is to help us keep Dimitri from finding out. And then on the twentieth, Dedue is going to get Dimitri to the classroom for us to surprise him.”</p>
<p>Sylvain looked back at me. “That means not a word to His Highness about any of this.”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“We’ll get you after dinner on the nineteenth to bake the cake!” Annette said. “I can’t wait!”</p>
<p>And with that, the class dispersed. Sylvain, however, lingered.</p>
<p>“Is there something else?” I asked him as he looked at me.</p>
<p>“Are you going to get His Highness a gift?” he asked.</p>
<p>I nodded, there was no chance that I wouldn’t get him a gift, especially after he’d worked with the class to get me a gift. A gift that I had never properly thanked them for. “I never thanked the class for my gift,” I said to Sylvain apologetically.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>I pointed at the brooch pinned on my jacket.</p>
<p>Sylvain rubbed his face with his hand. I thought I heard him mutter under his breath, “That idiot.”</p>
<p>“What?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Nothing. You’re welcome. Anyway, do you know what you’re going to get for His Highness?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I do.” I knew exactly what to get him. The same gift that I’d once been given, that I treasured to this day.</p>
<p>“What is it going to be?” Sylvain pressed.</p>
<p>But I just shook my head at him and smiled. “You’ll see. I’ll see you later, Sylvain. I need to head into town to make sure I can get it in time.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I ended up getting lucky. The blacksmith had said that while it’d be cutting it close, she would be able to get my request finished in time. It would be ready on the nineteenth for me to pick up, in time for me to present it to the prince on the twentieth.</p>
<p>I’d expected a teasing comment from Sothis, but she was preoccupied as she had been since we’d given our report to Rhea about Remire Village.</p>
<p><i>Tomas… No, Solon, was it not? And the Flame Emperor… It is most clear that something has transpired. And it relates to you somehow,</i> she ruminated as I walked back to the monastery. <i>Or is the fault my own, and you’re just caught inside the wave… Sothis, the goddess of this world… I bear her name… Hmm… How confusing, I feel as though my head has turned to mush!</i></p>
<p><i>I’m sorry, I don’t know any more than you do,</i> I responded. <i>It seems the more that we learn, the less that I feel I understand.</i></p>
<p>She sighed. <i>It does seem that way, doesn’t it? This moon seems like it may provide some merriment, but do be careful not to let your guard down.</i></p>
<p><i>You’re beginning to sound like my father,</i> I teased her.</p>
<p><i>I have a vested interest in your well-being, I’ll have you know!</i> She laughed. <i>Thank you for cheering me up, Byleth.</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>A mix of exhilaration and dread hung in the air as the month progressed. News of what had occurred in Remire Village spread quickly, and the surviving villagers had even been granted refuge at the monastery. It pained me to see just how few had made it. The students had been understandably sickened when they heard what had happened, but it seemed that everyone was also really looking forward to the ball.</p>
<p>I was not the only one who noticed the tension in the air. Edelgard noticed it as well, noting to me that while the air of levity was much more agreeable than the grim atmosphere that had highlighted the past month, she was still concerned about something happening while everyone was distracted by the ball. I couldn’t disagree with her.</p>
<p>The knights busied themselves with trying to investigate any irregularity in hopes of tracking down Solon and his ilk. Gilbert confided in me that with someone as senior as Tomas being involved, no one was safe from suspicion. He advised me to be on guard and requested that I keep an eye on both the prince and Annette for him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Before I knew it, the nineteenth had crept up. I’d gone into town immediately following my lecture to visit the blacksmith, and when I beheld the item I’d procured to give Dimitri, I found that it had turned out even better than I could have hoped.</p>
<p>I found my stomach twisting itself into knots as I made my way back to the monastery to meet Annette and Mercedes. I hoped that the prince would like it.</p>
<p><i>Oh please, Byleth. With all the thought that you put into this, he’s sure to love it,</i> Sothis assured me.</p>
<p>I hoped that she was right.</p>
<p>And I found myself immensely grateful for Annette’s boundless energy and Mercedes’ soothing aura when I made my way into the dining hall. The perfect combination to calm my nerves and take my mind off of my growing anxiety about presenting Dimitri with my gift.</p>
<p>“Do we need to worry about Dimitri showing up while we’re making the cake?” I asked as Mercedes began measuring out ingredients.</p>
<p>Annette shook her head. “The boys are handling that. Between the four of them, His Highness won’t get near the dining hall tonight. Dedue made sure he had dinner already.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Professor. Have you heard the rumor about the Goddess Tower?” Mercedes asked after she got me started on the task of mixing everything together.</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>“They say if a boy and a girl wish for something together at the Goddess Tower on the night of the ball, the goddess herself will grant it. I don’t know where the rumor started, but it’s a lovely story, isn’t it?” Mercedes continued.</p>
<p>“Is there anyone you’d invite with you to the Goddess Tower, Professor?” Annette questioned with a grin.</p>
<p>“Oh, Professor, it looks like we’re ready to move the batter to the pan,” Mercedes interrupted, an interruption that I was grateful for.</p>
<p>There certainly was someone on my mind as Mercedes had explained about the Goddess Tower. Someone who we happened to be in the process of baking a cake for.</p>
<p>After we’d transferred the batter to a pan and gotten it in the oven, Mercedes started on the icing, but she fixed me with an expectant gaze. “You didn’t ever answer Annie’s question, Professor.”</p>
<p>“What about?” I asked evasively.</p>
<p>“If there’s someone you’d want to make a wish with at the Goddess Tower,” Mercedes responded.</p>
<p><i>Dimitri,</i> I almost said. But I caught myself, and the words that came out were different. “…No one in particular.”</p>
<p>“Is that so,” Mercedes said with a rueful smile. “I’m surprised no one has invited you to meet that night, considering how popular you are.”</p>
<p>I stared at her as she mixed the icing. “I am not that popular.”</p>
<p>“Oh no, Professor, I suspect those who wish to ask are simply too daunted to try,” Mercedes finished with a giggle before turning her attention to Annette. “And what about you, Annie? You asked the professor, so it’s only fair that you answer as well.”</p>
<p>Annette’s cheeks flushed crimson. “I wouldn’t want to meet with a villain there!”</p>
<p>Mercedes giggled in response and then turned back to me. “Would you like to taste the icing, Professor? Make sure it’s sweet enough?”</p>
<p>I nodded and she handed me a spoon topped with a dollop. The saccharine flavor spread over my tongue--it was perfect. Sweet but not cloying, light enough to be able to enjoy more than a few bites. “It’s fantastic,” I said earnestly.</p>
<p>The rest of the evening passed by in a blur as we finished the cake and Annette and Mercedes chattered about various things, including the time they’d spent together at the School of Sorcery in Fhirdiad. They graciously did not ask me about the Goddess Tower again.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I’d managed to find a long, slender box that fit Dimitri’s gift and tied it with a length of ribbon. I met the Blue Lions in the classroom in the afternoon as we’d agreed and added my gift to a small pile of presents on one of the desks. Mercedes came in with Annette, and I was grateful to see that it was Mercedes carrying the cake. Annette, while hard-working and cheerful, was also known for her clumsiness.</p>
<p>“Great job, everyone,” Sylvain said with a wide smile. “Now, we just wait for His Highness.”</p>
<p>We didn’t have to wait long. And we heard him before we saw him.</p>
<p>“What did we have to do here, Dedue? I really must get back to my training soon,” Dimitri’s voice rang out.</p>
<p>“The professor requested that we clean the classroom on our day off,” Dedue responded from out of view.</p>
<p>“Well, if the professor--” Dimitri cut himself off as he entered the classroom and saw what awaited him. “What is this?”</p>
<p>“Happy birthday, Your Highness!” The Blue Lions--aside from Felix and myself--called out.</p>
<p>Felix, instead, muttered something that sounded like, “Happy birthday, boar.”</p>
<p>“Happy birthday, Dimitri,” I said, meeting his gaze with a warm smile.</p>
<p>“You all… did this for me?” he asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>“Of course!” Ingrid responded.</p>
<p>“First things first, the song!” Annette declared once Dimitri had reached the desk we were gathered around that held his cake, the snacks that Ashe had prepared, and the stack of presents.</p>
<p>Annette then broke out into a unique and personalized version of the typical happy birthday song. And as she sang, I caught Felix watching her with an intensity that was usually only seen when he had a blade in his hand.</p>
<p>“And now, the cake,” Mercedes said brightly when Annette had finished. “Which is also Annie and I’s gift to you, although the professor helped out as well.”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s eyebrows rose as he turned his attention to me. “You helped bake the cake, Professor?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know how much help I really was, but yes,” I responded with a smile.</p>
<p>“You were plenty of help!” Annette scolded me for my sheepishness.</p>
<p>Mercedes cut the cake into slices and handed them out on dishes borrowed from the dining hall. I hadn’t even realized I’d been holding my breath until Dimitri took his first bite and I let it out.</p>
<p>“Is it good?” I asked anxiously, unable to contain myself and calmly wait for his reaction.</p>
<p>“It’s the best cake I’ve ever eaten,” he responded ardently. “Thank you, Mercedes. Thank you, Annette. And thank you, Professor.”</p>
<p>I beamed at him.</p>
<p>When everyone had finished their cake, Dimitri began on the small stack of gifts at Sylvain’s insistence.</p>
<p>He received a new training weight set from Sylvain, Ingrid, and even Felix’s name had been attached to it, despite his earlier reluctance to give any gift. Ashe and Dedue had gone in together on a new training logbook. And Rodrigue had even sent an elegant set of riding boots to Felix to be given to Dimitri.</p>
<p>I found myself tense as Dimitri reached the box that contained my gift. I waited with bated breath as he pulled the bow from the ribbon and then removed the lid from the box. His eyes widened as he took the dagger I’d had made for him in his hands.</p>
<p>“No way,” Sylvain breathed, a delighted smirk crossing his features.</p>
<p>“Is it okay?” I asked quietly.</p>
<p>Dimitri pulled the weapon from its sheath, revealing the glittering sapphire ornamented in the blade before he met my gaze. “It’s perfect. Thank you, Professor. Truly, thank you.”</p>
<p>A mixture of pride and exhilaration welled up within me as he immediately moved to string the sheath onto the swordbelt he always wore across his chest.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The day before the ball arrived quickly and the Blue Lions remained gathered in the classroom after my last lecture of the month. The ball would take place on the twenty-fifth of the Ethereal Moon, and the rest of the month would be given off in honor of the ball and the founding of the monastery. This year marked nine-hundred and ninety-five years since the initial founding.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “This is the only ball of the year, and I can see why. Everyone is absurdly excited…”</p>
<p>“Your Highness, you sound so detached. We are all encouraged to enjoy the ball tomorrow,” Dedue chided.</p>
<p>“Right you are,” Dimitri responded, but he sounded dejected. “What a burden…”</p>
<p>Felix smirked. “Huh. Never thought we’d see eye to eye, but I agree. I’d rather be swinging my blade than wasting time with some girl at a ball.”</p>
<p>I certainly saw eye to eye with both of them.</p>
<p>Sylvain, however, looked as if they’d both murdered someone right there in the classroom. “Felix! Your Highness! You must be joking, right? This is our chance to dance with all of the ladies of the academy to our heart’s content. You wish to throw away the best day of the whole year for sword practice? Insanity, I tell you!”</p>
<p>“I’m pretty excited about the ball myself,” Ashe said shyly. “It’s not like we get to do things like this very often.”</p>
<p>Sylvain nodded emphatically. “Too true, Ashe. In fact, I’m gonna do you a favor and give you a crash course in chatting up girls. By tomorrow, you’ll be an expert!”</p>
<p>Ashe mumbled his response, “Actually, I’d much prefer if someone could just teach us how to dance…”</p>
<p>I wondered if I should speak up that I needed to learn too, but it felt a little embarrassing to admit. Even if I knew how to dance, it wouldn’t make me any less out of place.</p>
<p>Annette smiled widely at Ashe. “Don’t worry about the dancing part. I can teach you that easy!”</p>
<p>Mercedes glanced at Ingrid. “It’s time for the ball! That warrants at least a tiny bit of makeup, don’t you think, Ingrid? Just a smidge?”</p>
<p>Mercedes and Annette had been trying to corner her all throughout the month to try out different looks on her.</p>
<p>“I… Hmm. Maybe. I’ll think about it,” Ingrid relented.</p>
<p>“It’s settled! Tomorrow morning we’ll meet in Ingrid’s room,” Annette said to the girls. “Ooh, I can’t wait!”</p>
<p>Dimitri watched the exchange with a small smile. “You know… There’s no telling where life will take us after we leave here. If only we could find a way to come together again, just like this…”</p>
<p>I felt an air of melancholy settle around me. The year was already more than halfway over. And then he was right, I would likely never see them again. I would likely never see him again.</p>
<p>“A fine notion, Your Highness. Perhaps five years from now?” Dedue suggested.</p>
<p>“Five years from now?” Dimitri considered. “Ah! That’s when Garreg Mach will be holding the millennium festival.”</p>
<p>Hanneman had mentioned it. Every hundred years since the monastery’s founding, a special celebration would take place. And five years from now would mark a millennium, a thousand years since the founding, with a grand festival unlike anything seen before.</p>
<p>“By then we’ll be addressing Your Highness as Your Majesty instead!” Ingrid said brightly.</p>
<p>I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. A cruel reminder that the man I couldn’t stop thinking about was going to be a king, someone with no reason to give a second glance to a savage mercenary like me.</p>
<p>Sylvain shook his head. “That’s right. I suppose we all know it’s coming, but by then you’ll be far removed from us.”</p>
<p>It was Dimitri’s turn to shake his head. “Come now. You know me better than that. My title may change, but I won’t. And it won’t be just me. Five years from now, you’ll all have your own stuffy positions to contend with. But as I understand it, the festivities at the millennium festival will be of a scale far beyond anything we’ve yet seen… In other words, the perfect reason to return here.”</p>
<p>That was right. In five years, it wouldn’t be just Dimitri, they’d all be far beyond my reach. I had no idea where I’d be in five years, perhaps traveling with my father and his mercenary band again. At least somewhere that I fit in.</p>
<p>“Ooh, a reunion?” Annette asked excitedly. “That sounds fun! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”</p>
<p>Dimitri turned his gaze to me. “I’d love for you to be there as well, Professor. After all, you’re the heart of the Blue Lion House.”</p>
<p>I didn’t just want to be the heart of the Blue Lion House. I wanted to be <i>his</i> heart. And I wasn’t about to turn down a chance to cling to the joy that I’d begun to share with all of them, but especially with him. “I’ll be there,” I promised.</p>
<p>He smiled brightly. “Good. Then it’s settled. Of course… if something happens and I’m not able to attend, I’m leaving all the logistics of organizing this reunion to you, Professor.”</p>
<p>I shook my head fiercely. They’d all become special to me, but he was the only one who had finally made me feel alive. He was the only one I <i>had</i> to see again. “You have to attend,” I said sharply.</p>
<p>“It’s true!” Mercedes said, and I was grateful for her back up. “I’m sure being a king will keep you busy, but it’s a bit early to be backing out of your own plans, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Yes… I suppose you’re right,” Dimitri yielded. His eyes were locked with mine. “I’m sorry. You have my word. I will return as well. Count on it.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was determined to hide in my room until the ball began. Perhaps if I stayed out of sight long enough, nobody would notice my absence.</p>
<p><i>Do you really intend to just hide in here instead of dancing?</i> Sothis asked me.</p>
<p><i>I’d rather not go,</i> I admitted.</p>
<p>
  <i>How dull of you! Had I a body of my own… Oh, I would sing and dance until I fell upon the ground! But you… Hmph. Do as you will.</i>
</p>
<p>She was interrupted by a knock on the door. </p>
<p>I opened the door to see Mercedes, Annette, and Ingrid standing outside. Ingrid’s makeup was subdued and lovely.</p>
<p>“What can I do for you?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Let us in!” Annette said with a grin.</p>
<p>“We have a surprise for you, Professor,” Ingrid explained.</p>
<p>I moved out of the way to let them cross into the room.</p>
<p>Mercedes held out a bundle towards me. “We thought you might not have anything special to wear to the ball. So we arranged to have this made for you.”</p>
<p>My throat suddenly felt tight. “What?”</p>
<p>“Just try it on, Professor,” Annette insisted.</p>
<p>I relented and took the bundle from Mercedes. I directed them to turn around as I dressed in the clothes they’d brought. The bottom was a black skirt with silver trim that fell just below the curve of my backside. The top was a long-sleeved black top in the same style as the academy’s uniforms. The front was silver, fastened closed with double-breasted black buttons. It even had a black cloak that fell to the middle of my thighs when I fastened it to my shoulders. The final piece was a pair of white, knee-high socks with a band of pink at the top.</p>
<p>“Okay,” I said, indicating I was done.</p>
<p>The three women beamed at me.</p>
<p>“Just a couple more touches,” Mercedes said sweetly.</p>
<p>Ingrid pulled out a pair of black high-heeled boots that went to my ankles. I slipped them on and then they sat me down on my bed. Annette came forward and fixed a pink headband into my hair, pulling most of the green-black tresses to fall behind my shoulders. As a finishing touch, Mercedes had me pull on a pair of thin, tight black gloves that went to the edge of my palms.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I said quietly.</p>
<p>“You look beautiful,” Ingrid said softly.</p>
<p>“I’m going to cry!” Annette burst out, and she really did have tears threatening to spill over.</p>
<p>“No, you’ll ruin your makeup!” Mercedes cautioned her before turning to me. “You look lovely enough to be a princess!”</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to object. But she silenced me with a squeeze of my hand. And then all three of them wrapped me in a quick embrace.</p>
<p>“Shall we go, Professor?” Ingrid asked when they pulled away.</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p><i>You really do look lovely, Byleth,</i> Sothis assured me as I let them lead me to the ball.</p>
<p>But the closer we got, the more nervous I became. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. As we reached the reception hall, the crowd quickly overtook the three who had brought me, leaving me to slip away quietly to stand against the wall.</p>
<p>I silently scanned the faces in the crowd, and as the first song kicked off, I saw him, dancing smoothly with a girl I’d never seen before. I tried not to look, but our eyes met as he spun around and I saw his widen. My cheeks felt hot and I suddenly felt more out of place than if I’d shown up dressed as a mercenary.</p>
<p>My spiraling thoughts were interrupted as Claude swooped over and took my hand with a bow. When he rose back up, he offered me a wink. “Let’s dance, Teach.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know how,” I hissed at him, wishing that I was stepping out onto a battlefield instead of being dragged onto a dancefloor.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, just follow along with me,” Claude reassured me as he placed one hand on my hip and lifted his other hand still clasping mine out to the side. I couldn’t help but think of a different hand that had been on my hip a month ago as he pulled me closer. “Put your other hand on my shoulder.”</p>
<p>He moved slowly enough for me to step along with him. “My, my,” Claude said quietly in my ear. “His Royalness can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. His partner does not seem enthused.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure that is not the case,” I responded as smoothly as I could.</p>
<p>Claude pulled back and flashed a smirk at me. “It’s a real shame that you weren’t put in charge of the Golden Deer, you know. I’d have really loved to see the Sword of the Creator in action.”</p>
<p>“It’s not that impressive,” I assured him, not wanting to get into the fact that I had chosen the Blue Lions, and why I had chosen them. And why I would choose them again and again if given the choice.</p>
<p>“Whatever you say, Teach.”</p>
<p>When the song ended, Claude released me and escorted me back to the wall where he’d found me. “Enjoy the ball,” he said and left me.</p>
<p>I looked around, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was looking for Dimitri. I finally spotted him, but there were several girls standing around him, vying for his attention. And I had no business seeking him out here anyway, I reminded myself. I blinked and realized a boy from another class was standing in front of me.</p>
<p>“Would you dance with me, Professor?” he asked, his cheeks stained scarlet. Behind him I saw two other boys who seemed to be cheering him on.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I was about to grab a refreshment,” I said. “Maybe later.” I felt a little bad about the lie, but it did seem to soften the blow a bit, even as the boy’s face fell.</p>
<p>Before he could protest, I did exactly as I’d said and snuck to where the refreshments were laid out. Raphael was there too, gleefully pointing out to me how lucky we were that some especially prime cuts of meat had been included in the spread. He was right, and I helped myself to them.</p>
<p>Each time a new suitor approached, I tried to pretend that I’d just gotten to the table and needed to try the next thing. After turning down the fourth boy, I spied a clear path to the door and snuck out into the courtyard. I leaned against the wall, letting the cold from the stone soak into me and closed my eyes.</p>
<p><i>Running away even after the hard work those girls did for you?</i> Sothis chided me playfully. <i>I understand. You hardly had time to breathe in there. It must be hard to be the favorite teacher at the ball! Poor, poor professor!</i></p>
<p><i>I don’t want to dance with them,</i> I admitted.</p>
<p><i>I wonder who you do want to dance with,</i> Sothis responded slyly, even though she knew full well who I wanted to dance with.</p>
<p>I opened my eyes to find that exact person standing in front of me.</p>
<p>“Professor? What are you doing here?” Dimitri asked.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you going to dance more?” I countered. He had no reason to be out here, and there were plenty of partners for him to choose from.</p>
<p>“No, I should think not. I have no intention of dancing with anyone.” He glanced around the empty courtyard. The music from the reception hall could be faintly heard. “Unless… you’d like to dance?”</p>
<p>“Here?”</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>“I don’t know how,” I answered quietly, giving the same answer I’d given Claude.</p>
<p>“That’s quite alright. Just follow along with me, I can lead you.” He offered his hand.</p>
<p>My brave mercenary heart had turned on me, and I was grateful for the gloves the girls had provided with my outfit to hide the fact that my palms were sweating, although they could not mask the slight shaking in my hand as I placed it in his.</p>
<p>He gently pulled me against him, guiding my free hand to rest against the back of his neck and then he settled his hand on my hip. Just as it had been the night of the battle at Remire Village. My cheeks heated at the thought.</p>
<p>He gave my hand a squeeze and then began to slowly lead me through the steps. Unlike with Claude, it felt natural, like the way we fell into place at each other’s backs on the battlefield. I wanted to look anywhere else, but I couldn’t take my eyes off his as he moved us gracefully around the courtyard.</p>
<p>“Perhaps I could teach you to dance. In return for all the things you’ve taught me, of course.” He paused. “As a child, Edelgard taught me how to dance. It was… a bit awkward, honestly.”</p>
<p>“Edelgard did?”</p>
<p>He nodded. “I’ve told you before we’re siblings by marriage, haven’t I? Her birth mother was my stepmother, although I didn’t know it at the time. My stepmother treated me with such kindness… just as though I were her own flesh and blood. And yet she never so much as hinted that she had her own child… Edelgard. We were born and raised in different territories, without ever knowing the other existed. Yet, against all odds, for just over a year, we became childhood friends.”</p>
<p>I winced as I stepped on his foot. He smiled and gave my hand another squeeze.</p>
<p>“Friends, not siblings?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Indeed. Unaware of each other’s stations or backgrounds, we met and became incredibly close. This was when she and Lord Arundel were living in the Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“Why were they in the Kingdom?”</p>
<p>“They were in exile… This was a time of great turmoil within the Empire. I ran into her when visiting Lord Arundel’s residence with my father. She seemed… quite bored. With everything. At first, I found her to be difficult and stubborn, but that façade quickly fell away, revealing her true self beneath… That’s around the time when she taught me how to dance. Her instruction was… Oh, let’s call it strict. To put it nicely. That one year before she had to return to the Empire was… so much fun. The time of my life, in many ways.” He pulled me closer against him and my breath caught in my throat. “Can you guess what I gave her as a parting gift?”</p>
<p>I thought of the only gift I’d ever received until earlier this year when I’d been given the brooch that I now treasured. I thought of the only gift I’d ever given, the gift that he was now wearing on his sword belt. “A dagger?”</p>
<p>The hand on my hip tightened slightly. “She didn’t seem to like it, and I see now that it wasn’t a good choice, but I swear it came from the heart. In Faerghus, we’ve long considered blades as tools of destiny. As a way to cut a path to a better future. She was being dragged all over, unable to live the life she wanted. I thought the dagger could help her cut a path to the future she dreamed of. However… that was many years ago. I’m sure she’s forgotten all about the boy I was back then.”</p>
<p>“It’s not too late to reconnect,” I told him.</p>
<p>He shook his head. “I’m afraid it’s far too late for that. Things are different now. She’s different. I’m different.”</p>
<p>“I guess we aren’t like other people, appreciating daggers as gifts,” I said softly, breaking the moment of silence that had followed his words.</p>
<p>His eyebrows rose. “I’ve truly never received a gift that I treasure more, Professor. Was your dagger a gift, too?”</p>
<p>I nodded. “My father gave it to me when I began training.”</p>
<p>“Where did he get it?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. He had it as far back as I can remember.”</p>
<p>As the song ended he let go of me, and I found myself wishing he hadn’t as the cold of the winter night seeped back into me in the absence of his warmth.</p>
<p>He glanced back in the direction of the reception hall before looking back at me. “I’m feeling a bit out of place here. Festivities like this don’t suit me,” he admitted.</p>
<p>I understood. They didn’t suit me either, no matter what I was wearing.</p>
<p>“Professor… Will you join me for a bit? You must be getting tired of the ball by now,” he said, holding out his hand.</p>
<p>I nodded, placing my hand in his once again, and let him lead me up past the cathedral to… the Goddess Tower. He looked around quickly before forcing the door open as quietly as he could. He held it open for me and then followed me inside. We ascended the steps in silence. When we reached the top, I couldn’t help myself as I let out a small gasp. The top floor was a barren space of stone, but there was a large balcony that overlooked the mountains surrounding Garreg Mach and the stars in the sky seemed closer from up here, like I could reach out and grasp them where they sparkled brightly in the clear winter sky.</p>
<p>“It’s quiet here, isn’t it, Professor?” I tore my gaze from the heavens and turned to face him. “That reminds me. Do you know the legend associated with the Goddess Tower?”</p>
<p>“I’ve heard it,” I admitted. Mercedes and Annette had explained it to me while we baked the cake for his birthday.</p>
<p>“Is that right? You don’t strike me as the sort to enjoy stories like that,” he said with a hint of surprise. I wanted to point out that he was the one who had brought me here and that he certainly seemed to know the legend, but I held my tongue as he continued, “They say that wishes made in this tower will come true. I wonder who came up with such a silly notion.”</p>
<p>“You don’t believe it?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Legends are legends, nothing more. I doubt there are many who really believe that wishes can be granted. The goddess just watches over us from above… That is all. No matter how hard someone begs to be saved, she would never so much as offer her hand. And even if she did, we lack the means to reach out and grasp it. That’s how I feel about her,” he responded, his words almost bitter. “In any case… I suppose there’s no harm in passing the time with silly legends. What do you say, Professor? Care to make a wish? We are here on the night of the ball. Why don’t you try wishing for something?”</p>
<p>“After you,” I challenged. I’d never really given thought to making a wish for anything, and the only thing that came to mind now was something stupid and selfish.</p>
<p>“A wish of my own…” He rested his chin in his hand pensively. “I suppose my wish… is for a world in which no one would ever be unjustly taken from us. Or… something along those lines.”</p>
<p>Where the wish that had come to my own mind was selfish, his was the opposite. Compassionate and selfless, my heart couldn’t help but yearn for him, the reverse of myself.</p>
<p>“I’ll wish for the same,” I said with a small smile, trying to be someone who could hope to stand at his side.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Professor. Although, at a time like this… Perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we’ll be together forever. What do you think?”</p>
<p>I froze. Had he really just said that? Given voice to the silent wish in my heart? The wish that I whispered in my heart even then, echoing his wish in the Goddess Tower, just as Mercedes had said. But it didn’t make sense. There was no way that a prince would fall for a demon.</p>
<p>He laughed nervously. “Well now, Professor! You must admit I’ve improved in the art of joke telling.”</p>
<p>“It didn’t sound like a joke.” I didn’t want it to be a joke. But of course it was, and I was nothing but a fool. The prince would never make such a wish, especially when I had revealed my capacity for cruelty in Remire Village.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry… I guess that was rather thoughtless of me.” He stared at me for a moment and then dropped his gaze to the ground. “Honestly… I do regret saying such a thing. Please think nothing of it. I’ve blurted out irresponsible things like that to my classmates. Promises that we’ll see each other again and the like. I have no business making such promises for the future. There are certain things that I must accomplish, even if it means risking my life. I may not even have a future to promise to someone.”</p>
<p>He’d told me of his drive for revenge, that he was here with his own goal in mind. But my heart still ached.</p>
<p>“We should head back soon. It’s rude of me to keep you all to myself. Shall we, Professor?”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “I’ll stay here for a little while.”</p>
<p>He hesitated, and then nodded. I turned to look back at the sky as he turned to leave.</p>
<p>“You look beautiful tonight,” he said softly.</p>
<p>A fluttering rose in my stomach as only he seemed to be able to elicit from me, but when I turned, he was gone.</p>
<p><i>I don’t think he was joking,</i> Sothis said softly after a while, breaking the silence that had settled around me.</p>
<p><i>Then why did he say it was a joke?</i> I countered.</p>
<p>
  <i>Oh, dear one, you are rather innocent sometimes. Come on, let’s start to head back.</i>
</p>
<p>I started to walk back towards the reception hall when I caught the sound of singing.</p>
<p>
  <i>I hear… someone singing. From over there…</i>
</p>
<p>I followed where Sothis had indicated and caught sight of Rhea, standing alone in the cathedral, singing, “In time’s flow… see the glow of flames ever burning bright… On the swift river’s drift, broken memories alight…”</p>
<p><i>That song… I feel I have heard it in the past… Actually… It is not that I have heard it. I… Did I once sing that song to someone?</i> Sothis pondered to me. <i>No. There’s more. I wrote this song… Oh, but how could that be so? If that were true, then how could she be singing it? Unless… No, no. I am suddenly so exhausted… As are you, no doubt? Quickly then. To bed with you.</i></p>
<p>The last thing I wanted was to go back to the ball, so I did not argue, and I hurried back to my room.	</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning, I was passing through the entrance hall after breakfast when Alois came sprinting through.</p>
<p>“Captain? Captain! Where are you?” he yelled across the hall. Alois’ eyes fell on me. “Hey, Professor. Have you seen your old man?”</p>
<p>I shook my head. The last I’d heard he was still out on his own mission.</p>
<p>“Too bad,” Alois responded. “I guess it’ll have to be you, then…”</p>
<p>Footsteps sounded behind us. “I’m back,” my father said as he approached. “Sorry for the delay, my last mission took longer than expected.”</p>
<p>“Captain! Thank goodness you’re here,” Alois said with a breath of relief. “There are reports of Demonic Beasts near the chapel!”</p>
<p>“Nonsense.” My father shook his head. “I haven’t heard anything about the monastery’s walls being breached.”</p>
<p>“That’s why I’m heading there now, to see what’s really going on. You’ll join as well, won’t you?” Alois asked, gesturing at both my father and me.</p>
<p>“Of course,” Jeralt responded with a nod. “We’re both sworn to protect this place.”</p>
<p>“Where did they come from?” I asked.</p>
<p>“It’s odd,” Alois said with a frown. “Just before they appeared, someone saw a number of students heading toward the chapel. They were apparently acting strange, as though they weren’t in their right minds. Shortly after, Demonic Beasts started to appear, one after another.”</p>
<p>“Hm… The students…” My father had a troubled look on his face. “There’s no way those Demonic Beasts got in from the outside… But none of that matters now. We need to act.” He turned to me. “Go summon your students.”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>My father spoke again before I could leave. “Damn it… I wanted to talk to you about something important, but there’s no time. There’s never any damn time. But this is much more urgent, so it can hold for now. I’ll meet you there.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was grateful for the speed at which the Blue Lions were able to gather. We’d rushed out to the chapel to meet my father. I didn’t want him facing the beasts alone. Luckily, we arrived just as he did.</p>
<p>“There really are Demonic Beasts here… They’re emerging from the chapel!” my father said with trepidation.</p>
<p>And he was right. They hadn’t breached the walls of the monastery, because they were coming from within the abandoned chapel.</p>
<p>“I’ll head that way. The rest of you, protect the students who weren’t able to get away,” Jeralt ordered and then took off.</p>
<p>I ran after my father, meeting him as he engaged the first beast. It was smaller than Miklan and the beast in the Red Canyon had been and there was a stone gleaming on its forehead.</p>
<p>Once we managed to slay it, the body of the beast evaporated just as it had with Miklan. And with horror, I realized what--or who--we were fighting.</p>
<p>“The Demonic Beasts were actually students?” My father echoed my own dread. “How can this be…”</p>
<p>Somehow, we managed to put down the beasts. We’d been lucky that there weren’t more.</p>
<p>My father ran off towards the chapel to investigate. “Check on the students we were able to rescue and see if you can find any more survivors,” I instructed the Blue Lions and then ran after my father.</p>
<p>By the time I caught up to my father, he was in the field in front of the chapel, speaking with a student. I caught sight of bright red hair and realized that it was Monica, the girl who had been rescued with Flayn.</p>
<p>“Run along now,” my father said to her.</p>
<p>“Thanks for all your help, sir,” Monica responded sweetly.</p>
<p>She ran past him and then when she was behind him, she spun around and… plunged a dagger into his back. “You’re just a pathetic old man,” she said with a wicked grin on her face. My father fell to his knees with a grunt of pain. “How dare you get in the way of my brilliant plan… you dog.”</p>
<p>I stared at the blood-soaked dagger clenched in Monica’s hands. No. This couldn’t be happening. But I could fix this. I could fix this. I would fix this. The colors inverted around me as everything stopped, and then they righted themselves, I was ready.</p>
<p>“Run along now,” my father said to Monica.</p>
<p>“Thanks for all your help, sir,” Monica responded sweetly.</p>
<p>She ran past him, but when she spun around behind him this time, I drew the Sword of the Creator and sent the blade whipping out in front of me with a yell.</p>
<p>As the point of the Relic whipped towards Monica, purple light flashed in front of me and then my blade crashed back towards me, rebounding off a crackling barrier of magic. A man in a suit of black armor wearing a long red cloak lined with fur at the top had appeared to block my attack. His skin was unnaturally pale, just as Solon’s had been, and his eyes were a pure, unnerving white, but ringed in a thick line of black. His hair was just as white as his eyes and brushed back from his face where it fell to his neck and he had a short beard.</p>
<p>But I was looking past him. To where I saw Monica stab my father again, to where I saw my father fall to his knees with a grunt of pain again.</p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p>“You’re just a pathetic old man.”</p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p>“How dare you get in the way of my brilliant plan.”</p>
<p>Again.</p>
<p>“You dog.”</p>
<p>Again. Again. Again.</p>
<p><i>Byleth,</i> Sothis said gently. <i>There’s nothing to be done. It’s time to stop.</i></p>
<p>
  <i>No.</i>
</p>
<p>Again. Again. Again.</p>
<p>Again and again and again until I reached for the place where I could feel the divine pulse of time and there was nothing.</p>
<p><i>I warned you this power was not infinite,</i> Sothis said softly.</p>
<p>But I wasn’t listening. I was watching my father fall to his knees with a grunt of pain for the final time.</p>
<p>Monica turned to look at the mage who had blocked my attack. “Huh? What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“You must survive. Merely because there is still a role that I require you to fulfill,” the man said. He turned away from me, grabbed Monica, and disappeared in another flash of purple light.</p>
<p>I dropped my sword and went sprinting towards my father as he fell forward onto the ground.</p>
<p>I kneeled down in the grass next to him. I grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him over so he was facing up at me as I pulled him into my lap.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he managed to get out through gritted teeth. He opened his eyes and focused on me. “It looks like… I’m going to have to leave you now.”</p>
<p><i>No. Don’t leave me,</i> I wanted to beg him.</p>
<p>He grunted again. A droplet of water fell on his cheek. Then my father smiled. “To think that the first time I saw you cry… your tears would be for me.”</p>
<p>And I realized he was right. Though clouds had begun to gather in the sky, the droplets falling on my father’s face were not rain--they were tears falling from my eyes.</p>
<p>“It’s sad, and yet… I’m happy for it,” my father continued, reaching up towards my face with a hand. “Thank you… kid.”</p>
<p>His arm fell to the ground before he could touch me, and the light in his eyes guttered out. As my tears began to fall in earnest, the skies opened up. I screamed at the heavens and thunder clapped back at me. And then I laid my head down on my father’s chest, fisting his tunic in my hands, and I cried and cried as the rain washed over me.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The rain soaked through me as my father’s body grew cold, but I didn’t care. At some point, I became aware of large hands resting gently on my back. When I finally lifted my head, one of those hands moved to my shoulder and squeezed. I stared into Dimitri’s face.</p>
<p>“What happened?” he asked quietly.</p>
<p>I fumbled through the events. Monica. Monica had killed my father. I had dropped my guard, and my father was dead because of it. I hadn’t been able to save him. And I was going to make her pay. “I’ll kill her. I’LL KILL HER!” I didn’t know at what point I’d stopped speaking the words and started screaming them instead.</p>
<p>Understanding flashed in Dimitri’s eyes as he nodded solemnly.</p>
<p>It set loose a second round of tears. I threw myself on him, burying my head in his chest and wrapping my arms around him. I could again hear the rhythmic cadence of a drum from within his chest. I clung to him like he was an anchor, the only steady thing in a tumultuous sea of misery that was threatening to pull me under.</p>
<p>He wrapped his arms tightly around me, one hand gently cradling the back of my head. My father was dead. My father, who had been my constant companion--the only constant in my life. The only home I had ever known, leaving me with nothing except for the young man who I now clung to like a lifeline.</p>
<p>I didn’t know how long Dimitri held me for, how long I cried for. Dimitri didn’t say anything, he just held me tightly the entire time.</p>
<p>The silence was finally broken by Alois saying softly, his voice cracking, “To think that Captain… that Jeralt would meet his end like this.” He must have just arrived.</p>
<p>And then I felt Dimitri’s hands move under my shoulders, bringing me softly to my feet as he stood. Alois stepped forward and took my hand. I watched as Dimitri slid his hands beneath my father’s body and lifted him.</p>
<p>And then Alois turned me away and I numbly let him guide me from the scene.</p>
<p>I didn’t know when we’d gotten back to the main compound of the monastery. I didn’t know when we’d gotten to my father’s office. I didn’t know when Alois had led me to sit in a chair. He hesitated by the door. “I hope you know that you were the most important thing in the world to him,” he said softly, and then he left, closing the door behind him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was Sothis who finally broke the stillness that had settled in my mind.</p>
<p><i>So this is where your father lived… Hm? Are you still crying? If turning back the hands of time was not enough to save his life, you must accept what came to pass was fate,</i> she said, her tone soothing, even as the truth of it bit.</p>
<p>I couldn’t save him. All that was left was vengeance. <i>Our enemies will pay,</i> I responded bitterly.</p>
<p><i>Agreed. We cannot let the wicked ones run free,</i> she assured me. <i>Oh! Your father said to look for something here. He must be referring to whatever is behind that bookcase there…</i></p>
<p>I looked to where she indicated. I forced myself to my feet and made my way over. Lodged behind a bookcase was a journal. I took it, sat back down, and flipped it open.</p>
<p><i>Your father’s diary… Huh, his handwriting is prettier than his face would suggest,</i> she said, doing her best to cheer me up as I flipped through the pages. It didn’t work. <i>Well, well! These entries here are from before your birth. He seems to have been writing this for quite some time. Hm? Ah… Read that part there. Verdant Rain Moon, Year 1159.</i></p>
<p>I stopped flipping through the pages and forced my tired eyes to focus on the words scrawled across the parchment from just over twenty-one years past.</p>
<p>
  <i>Day 22 of the Verdant Rain Moon.<br/>
All is cloudy. I can’t believe she’s dead. Lady Rhea said she died during childbirth. But is that the truth? And still, the child she traded her life for doesn’t make a sound. Didn’t even cry at birth.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Day 25 of the Verdant Rain Moon.<br/>
It’s raining. The baby doesn’t laugh or cry. Not ever. Lady Rhea says not to worry, but a baby that doesn’t cry… isn’t natural. Had a doctor examine the child in secret. He said the pulse is normal, but there’s no heartbeat. No heartbeat!</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Day 2 of the Horsebow Moon.<br/>
Sunny. I feel I must take the child and leave. But the church is always watching us… I don’t know what Lady Rhea has planned. I used to think the world of Lady Rhea. Now I’m terrified of her.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Day 8 of the Horsebow Moon.<br/>
More rain. I used the fire that broke out last night to fake the child’s death. Lady Rhea is in a state over the news. But I can’t change what I’ve done. I’ve got to take the child and leave…</i>
</p>
<p><i>Well now! That baby must be you!</i> Sothis realized.</p>
<p>I placed a hand over my heart where I felt, as always, nothing. I’d never realized that was… not normal. But I knew now that was what I’d heard in Dimitri’s chest. A heartbeat. And I had none. The silence in my chest was deafening. I almost laughed. I really was a demon.</p>
<p><i>That means…</i> Sothis continued and then stopped. <i>Hm? Someone is approaching us.</i></p>
<p>I slammed the journal closed and hid it behind my back in the chair. The door opened and Dimitri entered.</p>
<p>“There you are. Lady Rhea is looking for you, Professor.” He paused. “And after your audience, why don’t you join me at the dining hall? You haven’t eaten since… since it happened. Have you?”</p>
<p>I looked away. I didn’t have anything resembling an appetite. And after what I’d just read in my father’s journal, Rhea was the last person in the world that I wanted to see.</p>
<p>“Forgive me… I suppose it’s too soon to try and coax you back into the normal swing of things,” he said and then bowed his head. “As for what happened to Jeralt… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Stay here until you’ve found some peace. I’ll cover for you with Lady Rhea and everyone else.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I mumbled, and I meant it.</p>
<p>He nodded. “We’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to return to us. I don’t believe it’s a sign of strength to just keep moving forward no matter what. Taking the time to grieve for those we’ve lost… there’s strength in that too. That’s what I think, anyway. That said… It’s also important to remember that no matter how sad you are, eventually your tears will dry up. That’s when you have to figure out what it is you’re living for. Then you can cling to that, with all your might, and start moving forward again.”</p>
<p>“What I’m living for?” I wondered aloud. I didn’t know that I’d ever really had something to live for. And now, my heart that didn’t beat hurt like nothing I’d ever known.</p>
<p>“Four years ago, in Duscur, I experienced the same pain you’re feeling now. My father… was the strongest man I knew. Someone I loved and admired deeply. That day, he was killed before my eyes. His head severed clean off. My stepmother, the kindest person I had ever known, left me behind and disappeared into the infernal flames. Everyone who I considered precious… my family and my closest friends… I couldn’t save them. Not a single one,” he said, anguish filling his voice as he looked at the ground.</p>
<p>And I realized then just how deeply he did understand how I was feeling. That perhaps he alone truly knew how it had felt to watch my father die over and over and know that there was nothing I could do to save him.</p>
<p>“Now, the burden of the work they left behind falls on me,” he continued. “I must ensure they have no regrets. That’s my duty, as the sole survivor of the tragedy. It’s a heavy burden, but accepting it gave me the strength to pick myself up off the ground and start moving again. Start living again.” He raised his eyes from the floor to meet mine. “Jeralt is gone… So, what will you do now, Professor? What must you do? Look deep in your heart and I’m certain you’ll find the answer there… indelible and inescapable.”</p>
<p>I thought I knew what the answer was. I thought I remembered screaming the answer at him as we sat in the rain. <i>I’ll kill her.</i> I thought I might have whispered it again just then.</p>
<p>“I’ve probably bothered you enough for today, but I have just one more thought to leave you with,” he said, taking a step closer. “Even now, Seteth is gathering the knights to begin a full scale search for the enemy. It may not be right away, but before long they will find their trail.” He sank to his knees next to my chair, bringing us to eye level. “No matter what happens or what anyone may say, know that I plan to stand by you, Professor. Through anything. Until the bitter end.”</p>
<p>His hand moved to rest on the back of my neck, his fingers weaving through the locks of hair. I closed my eyes as he leaned in, and then his lips pressed against mine in a tender kiss. The heat that spread from the point our lips met cut through the ice that had settled into my bones from sitting in the rain, from the grief that had locked itself tightly around my skeleton.</p>
<p>His hand fell away and he rose to his feet. He took one look back at me before he left, closing the door again behind him without a word.</p>
<p>I pressed my fingers to my lips.</p>
<p>My mind was a mess, my thoughts tangling together as they raced. I was going to kill Monica. I’d never been kissed before. Flay her skin from her bones while I listened to her scream. Dimitri had kissed me. Break every bone in her body one by one. No heartbeat. My father was dead. I was hopelessly in love with the prince.</p>
<p>Sothis finally broke the silence. <i>Well? Did you search within yourself as he suggested? And did you find yourself some answers? This book is filled with secrets yet unknown. We must return another time to read the rest. Oh, but I have at least figured one thing out. I know now why our fates are intertwined…</i></p>
<hr/>
<p>It was another day before I could bring myself to face Rhea. My father had been terrified of her. Terrified enough to fake my death, terrified enough to lie to her even upon our return and claim that I was a different child than the one born here.</p>
<p>“Byleth. I have been waiting for you,” Rhea said when I entered the audience chamber. “I am filled with grief at the loss of a most celebrated knight. Jeralt was an ally of many years… and also a dear friend.”</p>
<p>“When did you meet?” I asked.</p>
<p>“It was a long while back. At the time, Jeralt was a soldier of the Kingdom. He was injured in battle, and I saved him just as he was about to perish. That was our first meeting. After that, he became a Knight of Seiros. He gave his all to the service of the church,” she responded.</p>
<p>I hadn’t known that my father was originally from the Kingdom. I brushed my hand against the hilt of the dagger he’d given me.</p>
<p>
  <i>In Faerghus, we’ve long considered blades as tools of destiny. As a way to cut a path to a better future.</i>
</p>
<p>My father must have known the significance of such a gift.</p>
<p>“Why did he leave the knights?” I finally asked. I knew from his diary why he’d left, but I wanted to hear what Rhea would say.</p>
<p>“He… fell in love with one of the nuns here at Garreg Mach,” Rhea said, and I thought of the grave my father had shown me. A grave that he was to be buried in the next day. “Their love produced a child… whom she died giving birth to. It was her decision. She weighed her own life against that of her child’s and, in the end, implored me to save the child. Your father… never truly accepted that decision. He took the child--took you--and disappeared without warning.”</p>
<p>My blood chilled in my veins. She knew that I was the child that had been born here, the child with no heartbeat. She had probably known from the beginning.</p>
<p>
  <i>Stay on your guard.</i>
</p>
<p>“Who was my mother?” I pressed.</p>
<p>“Your mother…” Rhea looked pained. “She was my…”</p>
<p>The doors burst open behind us and Alois strode into the chamber. “Sorry for the interruption, Lady Rhea. There’s something you must hear immediately.” He cast a wary glance in my direction. “A report from the knights patrolling the area…”</p>
<p>Rhea nodded. “Very well. Professor, you are dismissed for the day. Please rest and focus only on mending your heart. Understood?”</p>
<p>Mending my heart that did not beat. I couldn’t get out of the chamber fast enough.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>“What did we have to do here, Dedue?” Dimitri asked his friend as he was led towards the classroom. “I really must get back to my training soon.”</p>
<p>“The professor requested that we clean the classroom on our day off,” Dedue replied.</p>
<p>She’d never made such a request before, but if it was something for her, then he would of course do it. “Well, if the professor--” His words died in his throat when he reached the threshold of the classroom. His professor and the rest of the class were all gathered around a desk with a small spread of food, a beautiful cake, and a small pile of boxes that could only be gifts.</p>
<p>“What is this?” he asked, despite the answer being obvious. For today was not just a day off, today was also Dimitri’s eighteenth birthday. Although he had made it a point to not advertise that fact.</p>
<p>“Happy birthday, Your Highness!” his classmates and friends called out.</p>
<p>Except for his professor. She gave him a warm smile and said, “Happy birthday, Dimitri.” She’d never called him by his title, and he never wanted her to.</p>
<p>“You all… did this for me?” he asked, still unable to quite wrap his head around it. He’d intended to spend the day training.</p>
<p>“Of course!” Ingrid said, and he supposed with his three old friends as part of the class, he shouldn’t have been that surprised. Sylvain was grinning at him, and even Felix looked like he was torn between smiling and scowling.</p>
<p>“First things first, the song!” Annette said brightly once Dimitri had reached the group.</p>
<p>And she did just that, breaking out into a song that could only be one that she had written herself.</p>
<p>“And now, the cake,” Mercedes said once the song had finished. “Which is also Annie and I’s gift to you, although the professor helped out as well.”</p>
<p>He turned to stare at his professor. “You helped bake the cake, Professor?”</p>
<p>She smiled sheepishly. “I don’t know how much help I really was, but yes.”</p>
<p>“You were plenty of help!” Annette consoled her.</p>
<p>He would normally eat enough dessert to be polite and nothing more than that. There was no sense in eating something that was not nutritious when it was tasteless. But as Mercedes handed him a plate with a slice of cake, he found himself wanting to eat every bite of it that he could.</p>
<p>Dimitri had long since stopped being bothered by his inability to taste. After four years, it was simply the way that he was. But he wished desperately that he could taste as he took his first flavorless bite with his professor watching him.</p>
<p>“Is it good?” she asked the moment he’d swallowed.</p>
<p>“It’s the best cake I’ve ever eaten,” he lied. “Thank you, Mercedes. Thank you, Annette.” He turned his gaze to his professor. “And thank you, Professor.” But while he couldn’t savor the taste as he would have liked, he could savor the gesture. And he could savor the smile that she graced him with as he expressed his gratitude.</p>
<p>As soon as everyone had finished their cake, Sylvain was urging him to begin opening the presents that were awaiting.</p>
<p>Sylvain, Ingrid, and Felix gave him a new set of training weights. Dedue and Ashe had gotten him a logbook to keep track of his training. And it appeared that even Rodrigue had sent something to Felix for him--a pair of riding boots, although Dimitri had significantly less time to spend on a trusted steed’s back since he’d gotten to the Officers Academy.</p>
<p>That left one box, long and thin, that his professor was watching intently. It was wrapped modestly compared to the other packages, merely having a ribbon tied around it. He pulled the ribbon free and pulled the lid off the box to reveal a dagger inside.</p>
<p>“No way,” Sylvain muttered under his breath with a smug grin as Dimitri pulled the dagger from the box.</p>
<p>He’d been mercilessly teased once for giving a dagger to a girl. And now, his professor was giving him one.</p>
<p>“Is it okay?” she asked nervously.</p>
<p>It was plain upon first glance. A black grip, a simple silver pommel and crossguard, an unadorned black sheath. But upon unsheathing the dagger, the true beauty in it could be seen. The silver gleamed with a fresh polish, and inlaid in the blade, just below the crossguard, was a brilliant sapphire, glistening as the light reflected off the various cuts of the gem. A truly exquisite weapon, just like she was.</p>
<p>“It’s perfect,” he said, meeting her gaze. “Thank you, Professor. Truly, thank you.”</p>
<p>And then he was hurrying to unhook his swordbelt to string the dagger’s sheath upon it.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The last place Dimitri wanted to be was at the ball, but as house leader of the Blue Lions, he had little choice. It was part of his duties to kick off the first dance. He did as he was supposed to, painting a polite smile on his lips as he danced with a girl. He had no idea who she was, and he honestly didn’t care. He was busy scanning the faces of the crowd as he moved about the floor, trying to catch sight of the one woman that he did care about.</p>
<p>And then, he saw her. She was not dressed in her usual attire, but instead a skirt and top in the style of the academy’s uniforms, accented with silver rather than gold. If he thought the lace drove him mad, it was nothing compared to the sight of the edge of the skirt brushing against her bare thighs. As their eyes met, she blushed.</p>
<p>He wanted nothing more than to cast aside the girl that he was dancing with and go take his professor’s hand before someone else could. The girl in his arms was no doubt only interested in him for the fact that he was a prince, anyway. Not someone who could understand him. Not someone who would give him a dagger.</p>
<p>But before he could do so--not that he actually would have done something so impolite, Claude had swooped in, taking his professor’s hand and pulling her onto the dancefloor. It was an effort to keep his grip loose and not crush his partner’s hand as he watched Claude pull his professor close and settle a hand on her hip.</p>
<p>It was even more of an effort when Claude leaned in to whisper in her ear. Dimitri’s partner was saying something to him, but he didn’t hear a word that left her mouth. His focus remained fixed upon Claude and his professor for the remainder of the song, until Claude walked her back to the wall and left.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s own partner stomped off following the song, not that he was unhappy about it. It freed him up to start to make his way to his professor, only to be ambushed by more admirers while several boys approached her.</p>
<p>He lost sight of her soon after, having to politely dance with several girls. It was Sylvain who finally rescued him, pulling him to the side of the reception hall.</p>
<p>“What are you doing, Your Highness?” Sylvain asked.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” he asked unhappily.</p>
<p>“I mean the girl that you actually want to dance with is slipping out the door right now after hiding out and eating snacks all night.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking--"</p>
<p>“Please, we’ve been over this. Subtle is one thing that you are not. And after she gave you a dagger, you’re an idiot if you don’t chase after her.”</p>
<p>Sylvain was many things. A shameless skirt-chaser being the top of the list. But he was also surprisingly perceptive, and they had once been very close. Not just Sylvain, but Felix and Ingrid as well. Dimitri let out a heavy sigh.</p>
<p>“Even Felix looks like he’s having fun,” Sylvain continued. “We’ll see if he gets the courage to ask Annette to dance. And Ingrid looks… good.”</p>
<p><i>Ingrid does look lovely,</i> Glenn lamented. <i>I never had the chance to dance with her. Why should you have the chance to dance with a woman when I didn’t?</i></p>
<p>Dimitri clenched his fists. Glenn would never dance with Ingrid, who had been his betrothed before his death.</p>
<p>But Sylvain wasn’t finished, breaking through the voice in his head, “You should have fun tonight, too, Your Highness. So, get out of here.”</p>
<p>He seized the opportunity given to him by his old friend and slipped out the door to the courtyard before he could get stopped again.</p>
<p>He found her leaning against the outer wall of the reception hall with her eyes closed. Those dark blue eyes fluttered open as he reached her.</p>
<p>“Professor? What are you doing here?” he asked, attempting to pretend that he had not followed her out.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you going to dance more?” she responded.</p>
<p>He didn’t want to. Not with anyone. Not with anyone except for her. “No, I should think not. I have no intention of dancing with anyone.” He doubted he would go back to the ball after having managed to escape. But the music was still filtering out into the courtyard. He gathered his courage. “Unless… you’d like to dance?”</p>
<p>“Here?” she asked.</p>
<p>He nodded. Here, where no one could interrupt them.</p>
<p>“I don’t know how,” she said softly.</p>
<p>He supposed a mercenary wouldn’t have had much use for dancing. “That’s quite alright. Just follow along with me, I can lead you,” he assured her as he held out his hand.</p>
<p>To his immense relief, she gave in, placing her gloved hand within his own. He pulled her close, savoring her scent, savoring the feeling of her touch as he placed her free hand against the back of his neck. And then he rested his hand on her hip, just as he had on that night he still fantasized about.</p>
<p>Her cheeks flushed and he wondered if it were possible that she was thinking of the same night. If that night occupied her thoughts the way it did his. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before he began to slowly move them through the courtyard.</p>
<p>His eyes did not leave hers. “Perhaps I could teach you to dance.” He would love nothing more, but he quickly added his next thought to cover his eagerness. “In return for all the things you’ve taught me, of course.” He would try to be gentler than his own teacher had been. “As a child, Edelgard taught me how to dance. It was… a bit awkward, honestly.”</p>
<p>“Edelgard did?” she asked.</p>
<p>He nodded. “I’ve told you before we’re siblings by marriage, haven’t I? Her birth mother was my stepmother, although I didn’t know it at the time. My stepmother treated me with such kindness… just as though I were her own flesh and blood.” Until she had died and begun to haunt him. “And yet she never so much as hinted that she had her own child… Edelgard. We were born and raised in different territories, without ever knowing the other existed. Yet, against all odds, for just over a year, we became childhood friends.”</p>
<p>She flinched as her foot stepped on his. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She was really doing quite well, for never having danced before, aside from the dance that Claude had stolen…</p>
<p>“Friends, not siblings?” she asked, pulling his thoughts from the leader of the Golden Deer.</p>
<p>“Indeed. Unaware of each other’s stations or backgrounds, we met and became incredibly close. This was when she and Lord Arundel were living in the Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“Why were they in the Kingdom?” she pressed.</p>
<p>“They were in exile… This was a time of great turmoil within the Empire. I ran into her when visiting Lord Arundel’s residence with my father. She seemed… quite bored. With everything. At first, I found her to be difficult and stubborn, but that façade quickly fell away, revealing her true self beneath… That’s around the time when she taught me how to dance. Her instruction was… Oh, let’s call it strict. To put it nicely. That one year before she had to return to the Empire was… so much fun. The time of my life, in many ways.”</p>
<p>It had been one of the last times he’d been truly happy, before that day had taken everything from him. And before he’d somehow seized happiness again, joy that he held in his arms as he pulled his professor closer to his chest. His professor, who understood him in a way that no one ever had. “Can you guess what I gave her as a parting gift?”</p>
<p>“A dagger?”</p>
<p>He squeezed her hip gently. Unlike him, Edelgard had not been enthused to receive such a gift. “She didn’t seem to like it, and I see now that it wasn’t a good choice, but I swear it came from the heart. In Faerghus, we’ve long considered blades as tools of destiny. As a way to cut a path to a better future. She was being dragged all over, unable to live the life she wanted. I thought the dagger could help her cut a path to the future she dreamed of. However… that was many years ago. I’m sure she’s forgotten all about the boy I was back then.”</p>
<p>“It’s not too late to reconnect,” she consoled.</p>
<p>But he shook his head. Edelgard had made it clear that she had no interest in the friendship they’d once had. And he had changed too, the boy he had been was long dead. “I’m afraid it’s far too late for that. Things are different now. She’s different. I’m different.”</p>
<p>“I guess we aren’t like other people, appreciating daggers as gifts,” she said with a soft smile into the silence.</p>
<p>Appreciating was an understatement. The dagger at his own hip had quickly become one of his most treasured possessions. “I’ve truly never received a gift that I treasure more, Professor,” he said honestly. And then he seized the opportunity that he’d been given to find out more about her own dagger. “Was your dagger a gift, too?”</p>
<p>“My father gave it to me when I began training,” she said with a nod.</p>
<p>“Where did he get it?” he pressed.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. He had it as far back as I can remember.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t much, but it at least narrowed down that the dagger had come from Jeralt. The question then became how the Blade Breaker had come to possess such a thing.</p>
<p>The song ended and he reluctantly released his professor, despite wishing that he could continue to hold her even in the absence of the music. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to that blasted ball. “I’m feeling a bit out of place here. Festivities like this don’t suit me. Professor… Will you join me for a bit? You must be getting tired of the ball by now.” He offered his hand to her once more.</p>
<p>She took his hand and he led her to the Goddess Tower, carefully forcing the door open after ensuring that they would not be seen. When they reached the top of the steps, she let out an audible breath and moved to the balcony, her gaze moving to the stars above them.</p>
<p>He shouldn’t have been surprised that she was drawn to the stars, as she was so like a star herself. Solon was a beast who deserved a gruesome end, but he had not been wrong when he called his professor a star, for she was glowing and brilliant herself in the faint light from the night sky.</p>
<p>“It’s quiet here, isn’t it, Professor?” She turned from the stars to look at him. “That reminds me. Do you know the legend associated with the Goddess Tower?”</p>
<p>“I’ve heard it,” she said.</p>
<p>“Is that right? You don’t strike me as the sort to enjoy stories like that,” he said, pretending that he had not dragged her here for that exact reason. “They say that wishes made in this tower will come true. I wonder who came up with such a silly notion.”	</p>
<p>“You don’t believe it?”</p>
<p>He wanted to. But he knew better. “Legends are legends, nothing more. I doubt there are many who really believe that wishes can be granted. The goddess just watches over us from above… That is all. No matter how hard someone begs to be saved, she would never so much as offer her hand.” He knew that better than anyone, for he had begged and begged and begged after that day. “And even if she did, we lack the means to reach out and grasp it. That’s how I feel about her. In any case… I suppose there’s no harm in passing the time with silly legends. What do you say, Professor? Care to make a wish? We are here on the night of the ball. Why don’t you try wishing for something?”</p>
<p>Even if he didn’t believe that wishes really came true, she was still here with him, so perhaps some wishes could be granted.</p>
<p>“After you,” she countered.</p>
<p>“A wish of my own…” He rubbed his chin. “I suppose my wish… is for a world in which no one would ever be unjustly taken from us. Or… something along those lines.” A world where no one had to suffer as he did.</p>
<p>“I’ll wish for the same.” And the smile she gave him had his other wish tumbling from his lips.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Professor. Although, at a time like this… Perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we’ll be together forever. What do you think?” He knew the moment the words left his mouth that he shouldn’t have said them.</p>
<p>She was quiet. Was she considering it? No, there was no chance of that. No chance that someone as radiant as her would love someone as tainted as him. She was being kind again, trying to decide how to spare his feelings while turning him down.</p>
<p><i>To be with you forever is a curse,</i> Glenn taunted him.</p>
<p>Glenn was right. Everyone he loved died, and then followed him beyond the grave.</p>
<p>He laughed nervously. “Well now, Professor! You must admit I’ve improved in the art of joke telling,” he lied.</p>
<p>“It didn’t sound like a joke.” She glared at him and he could have sworn hurt flashed in her eyes.</p>
<p>She was right, too. It wasn’t a joke. Even now, he didn’t actually take the wish back, because he knew he couldn’t stay away. But if there was even a chance that she felt the same… he had to try and spare her from the fate that would surely await her. Spare her from him. Even as he wanted nothing more than to keep her by his side. He had no life to give anyone, not when his life had belonged to the fallen ever since that day.</p>
<p><i>I was worried you’d forgotten us,</i> his father scolded him.</p>
<p>How could he ever forget when they shadowed his every move?</p>
<p>“I’m sorry… I guess that was rather thoughtless of me.” His own heart ached at the hurt he’d seen in her eyes. “Honestly… I do regret saying such a thing. Please think nothing of it. I’ve blurted out irresponsible things like that to my classmates. Promises that we’ll see each other again and the like. I have no business making such promises for the future. There are certain things that I must accomplish, even if it means risking my life. I may not even have a future to promise to someone.” It was the truth. “We should head back soon. It’s rude of me to keep you all to myself. Shall we, Professor?”</p>
<p>He didn’t want to leave her side, he definitely didn’t want to go back to the ball where someone else could have a chance to put their hands on her, but he was certain he’d blurt out something foolish again if he stayed here.</p>
<p>“I’ll stay here for a little while,” she said with a shake of her head.</p>
<p>Even worse than the idea of someone dancing with her at the ball was the idea of someone else chancing upon her in the Goddess Tower and making a wish. But he reluctantly nodded.</p>
<p>She had turned her gaze back to the stars.</p>
<p>“You look beautiful tonight,” he said quietly before leaving her. He did not return to the ball.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“I was really hoping we would make it back before the rain began in earnest,” Dimitri lamented to Dedue.</p>
<p>And then he heard an anguished cry that froze the blood in his veins. He knew that voice. Thunder boomed across the sky, as if the goddess herself were echoing that scream.</p>
<p>“Get Alois. Get the knights. Get someone,” he commanded Dedue before he went sprinting in the direction of his professor.</p>
<p>His heart sank when he found her. She was hunched over a form--Jeralt's body, he realized with horror--on the ground. Sobs were wracking her body.</p>
<p>He’d seen her joy, he’d seen her wrath, but he’d never seen her cry. And now despair permeated from her. He knew that despair, because he’d felt it so keenly four years ago. And it had haunted him every day since.</p>
<p>Dimitri kneeled down next to her, resting his hands on her back as she shook with the force of her tears. After a while, she finally raised her head and looked at him.</p>
<p>He squeezed her shoulder softly. “What happened?”</p>
<p>“I’ll kill her. I’LL KILL HER!” She was screaming the words by the end.</p>
<p>It wasn’t an answer to what had happened, but it was an answer that he understood deep in his bones. It was an answer that had been compelling his every move since that day. He nodded.</p>
<p>Instead of laying back on her father’s body, she leaned into him, pressing her head against his chest and wrapping her arms around him. He could only wrap his arms around her in turn, cradling the back of her head and holding her as she grieved.</p>
<p>“To think that Captain… that Jeralt would meet his end like this,” Alois said as he arrived, no doubt having been summoned by Dedue.</p>
<p>He gently lifted his professor to her feet and Alois came to take her hand, leaving Dimitri free to take Jeralt’s body from the ground. He’d promised her father that he would protect his daughter, and he intended to make good on that promise.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He hesitated for a long time in front of the door to Jeralt’s office. The last time he’d been here, he’d been coming to inquire about his professor’s day of birth. And her father had extended him enough trust to share it, despite it clearly being a closely guarded secret.</p>
<p>He finally pushed open the door. His professor was there, sitting in a chair and tucking a leather-bound book behind her back.</p>
<p>“There you are. Lady Rhea is looking for you, Professor.” He tried to think of something that might cut through the misery. “And after your audience, why don’t you join me at the dining hall? You haven’t eaten since… since it happened. Have you?”</p>
<p>She looked away.</p>
<p>Dimitri silently cursed himself. “Forgive me. I suppose it’s too soon to try and coax you back into the normal swing of things. As for what happened to Jeralt… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Stay here until you’ve found some peace. I’ll cover for you with Lady Rhea and everyone else.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she said quietly.</p>
<p>“We’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to return to us.” He would be waiting. “I don’t believe it’s a sign of strength to just keep moving forward no matter what. Taking the time to grieve those we’ve lost… there’s strength in that too. That’s what I think, anyway. That said… it’s also important to remember that no matter how sad you are, eventually your tears will dry up. That’s when you have to start to figure out what it is you’re living for. Then you can cling to that, with all your might, and start moving forward again.”</p>
<p>“What I’m living for?” she repeated.</p>
<p>“Four years ago, in Duscur, I experienced the same pain you’re feeling now. My father… was the strongest man I knew. Someone I loved and admired deeply. That day, he was killed before my eyes. His head severed clean off. My stepmother, the kindest person I had ever known, left me behind and disappeared into the infernal flames. Everyone who I considered precious… my family and my closest friends… I couldn’t save them. Not a single one.” The only person he’d managed to save was Dedue, from the massacre of the Duscur people that ensued in the wake of his father’s death.</p>
<p>But he had found something to live for. He lived for vengeance, to carry out the will of those who had lost their lives, to end their ceaseless suffering. “Now, the burden of the work they left behind falls on me. I must ensure they have no regrets. That’s my duty, as the sole survivor of the tragedy. It’s a heavy burden, but accepting it gave me the strength to pick myself up off the ground and start moving again. Start living again.” He met her gaze, her eyes looking more hollow than they had in a long time. “Jeralt is gone… So, what will you do now, Professor? What must you do? Look deep in your heart and I’m certain you’ll find the answer there… indelible and inescapable.”</p>
<p>“I’ll kill her,” she whispered.</p>
<p>He’d had resolve to stay away. He’d had enough resolve that it had not broken until now, until this moment. And what finally broke it was the fact that deep down, deep in their souls, they were the same. He knew it the moment she’d screamed the words, and he knew it in his own heart, indelible and inescapable, as she whispered the words again.</p>
<p>“I’ve probably bothered you enough for today, but I have just one more thought to leave you with.” He took a step to stand beside her. “Even now, Seteth is gathering the knights to begin a full scale search for the enemy. It may not be right away, but before long they will find their trail.” He dropped to his knees before her. “No matter what happens or what anyone may say, know that I plan to stand by you, Professor. Through anything. Until the bitter end.”</p>
<p>And then he did what he had been yearning to do for months. He leaned in, interlacing his fingers through the tresses against the back of her neck. Her eyes closed and then their lips finally met, and he knew that he would never be the same after that moment. He knew that he was irrevocably and hopelessly in love with her.</p>
<p><i>Taking advantage of a woman’s grief? You’re despicable,</i> Glenn hissed at him.</p>
<p>He pulled away and rose to his feet. He was despicable. Even now, all he wanted to do was kiss her again. So instead, he took one last look back at her, and then he fled.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Where the Goddess Dwells</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions end up going to try and avenge Jeralt's death when their enemies reveal themselves.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>I've been able to squeeze in quite a bit of writing this week, so here is Where the Goddess Dwells early! Throne of Knowledge will be up on Friday!</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>My father’s diary did not provide any more clues. The only thing it really made clear was just how deeply he’d loved my mother. Most of the entries from before my birth were about her--the look of joy on her face when he would bring her flowers, the bliss he’d felt when she’d agreed to marry him, the excitement they’d shared when they learned a child was on the way.</p>
<p>The entries had been more sparse after my birth, quickly shifting into traveling with the mercenary band and raising an emotionless child while on the move. Training that child to fight. But another thing became evident from those entries, not that I’d needed his journal to tell me; my father had deeply loved me too.</p>
<p>The woe those entries dredged up with them was almost too much to bear, and I stopped reading soon after that.</p>
<p>My father was laid to rest in the same grave as my mother. I had expected a small service, but every single student from the Officers Academy showed up. I almost wished they hadn’t, so they wouldn’t see my tears.</p>
<p><i>If you must weep, then weep. I shall be here for you,</i> Sothis assured me.</p>
<p><i>Thank you,</i> I said to her as the tears began again. I was surprised that I still had tears left with all that I’d shed. Dimitri had told me that eventually my tears would dry up, but they certainly hadn’t yet.</p>
<p>The prince hovered near my side during the service. I hadn’t seen him since the day my father had died, when he’d visited me in his office. Since the day he’d kissed me.</p>
<p>My mind was still in turmoil, but I knew two things. I was definitely in love with him, something that had become even clearer to me as I’d read the way my father wrote of my mother. And I wouldn’t dare bring it up, for fear of losing one of the few things that I had left. As if questioning what had happened could cause it to slip through my fingers.</p>
<p>Hanneman and Manuela offered to help fill in for me until I felt ready to return to teaching. I didn’t know if I’d ever feel ready for anything again.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I’d taken to wandering aimlessly through the town at night. I hadn’t been sleeping well, and I’d rather wander where I was less likely to be recognized. I heard the sound of voices ahead, but Sothis noticed Dimitri standing against the corner of a wall before I did. He was peering around the corner, looking in the direction of the voices.</p>
<p><i>What are you doing this at this hour?</i> Sothis asked as she recognized him. <i>Ooh, I know… You are eavesdropping! I must admit that I approve.</i></p>
<p>I crept up beside him.</p>
<p>He turned to look at me and shock briefly passed across his features. “Professor? We must remain quiet…”</p>
<p>I looked in the direction of the voices and froze as I took in who we were listening in on.</p>
<p><i>I see… The Flame Emperor and Monica… and the mage who rescued Monica,</i> Sothis observed.</p>
<p>I reached for the hilt of my dagger. “It’s time for revenge.” I would kill all of them.</p>
<p>Dimitri caught my hand and squeezed it tightly in his own. “Not yet, Professor,” he whispered in my ear. “If we keep listening, we might be able to find out more.”</p>
<p>Sothis seemed to agree with him and tried to soothe the fury building within me. <i>An unexpected chance to hear their plans! Patience, patience!</i></p>
<p>“Oh, thank you. You saved me!” Monica said graciously to the white-haired mage.</p>
<p>“If you were to die, then the mystery of our bodies would be revealed. Preventing that was my only aim,” the mage responded callously. “I’m afraid you must remain, Kronya. There is something I need you to do.”</p>
<p>“Oh, of course,” Monica responded. “I am always happy to cooperate with Solon. Leave it to me.”</p>
<p>“How annoying,” the Flame Emperor complained.</p>
<p>“Flame Emperor… Is she offending you?” the mage asked. “Unfortunately, we cannot take our eyes off her, so there is nothing to be done. You are our greatest creation. We used the defiled beast’s blood as the fuel to your flame, that you may burn even the gods. Now is the time to cleanse Fódlan with that power, and bring forth our salvation.”</p>
<p>“There will be no salvation for you and your kind,” the Flame Emperor responded. “Those responsible for such gruesome deeds in Duscur and Enbarr.”</p>
<p>“All so that you may acquire the strength you need,” the mage said dismissively. “All for a purpose…”</p>
<p>Monica--or Kronya, whatever name she wanted to go by, Solon, the Flame Emperor, and this mage… They had murdered my father. And now, I realized, they were responsible for the murder of Dimitri’s family as well.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s hand was squeezing mine so tightly it hurt. “I’ve got you… Finally…”</p>
<p>“Wait,” I said, holding him back by the hand he’d first used to keep me from rushing out. “Let’s keep listening.”</p>
<p>“If we don’t act now, we’ll miss our chance,” he said, tugging me forward.</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor paused and turned in our direction. “Hmm…” There was a clang of metal as a dagger hit the corner of the wall and bounced off.</p>
<p>“Hmph. Even if someone overheard us, there is nothing they can do,” the mage said smugly. “There have always been rats in the walls, and there always will be.”</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor stared in the direction of our hiding spot and then all three figures vanished in a flash of red light. Dimitri finally let go of my hand as we ran out to where they had stood. He knelt down and picked up the dagger that the Flame Emperor had thrown at us.</p>
<p>“No… The dagger…” he said, his eyes wide.</p>
<p>I stared at it in his hands. It was a simple weapon, a golden pommel and matching crossguard of thin metal with a navy-colored grip. The blade itself was unadorned, plain steel. I felt like I’d seen it before, but I couldn’t place where.</p>
<p>“What about the dagger?” I asked.</p>
<p>“It… no.” He shook his head. “Nevermind. It couldn’t possibly be so.” His hand clenched into a fist around the hilt of the weapon. “Professor, those are the ones we must destroy. They’re the bastards who killed my family and Jeralt. For now, let’s return to the monastery and regroup. As for the Flame Emperor’s dagger… I’ll hold on to it for the time being.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was another few days before I managed to steel myself to really get back into the swing of things. I’d made my way to the classroom to prepare and found Dimitri waiting alone. He was usually early, so it wasn’t really a shock.</p>
<p>“Professor!” He greeted me with a hint of surprise. He must have been expecting Hanneman or Manuela to substitute again. “Welcome back… I was… We all were…” He sighed. “You’ve been on our minds. Know that your enemies are my enemies. I will do all I can to help you find justice. There is no one else I can… My strength is yours alone. I will fight as you command…” He stared me in the eyes and his tone was serious as he continued, “I will kill anyone should you ask it of me.”</p>
<p>The compassionate prince was willing to stain his hands red for me--and for himself, because he was right, our enemies really were the same. And while I wanted to stain my own hands with our enemies’ blood, his promise of violence soothed some of the ache that had wound its way through my heart.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The month was quiet. I’d spent much of it withdrawn to my room, but even after I returned to teaching, it was quiet. Most of the knights were out searching for the enemy, although both Sylvain and Felix expressed concerns about leaving the monastery vulnerable.</p>
<p>Mercedes and Annette surprised me with an array of baked goods in an attempt to lift my mood. It was a kind gesture, but I’d found that my usually voracious appetite had not returned.</p>
<p>Everyone was kind, expressing their condolences over my loss and both Dedue and Bernadetta left flowers on my father’s grave--I had been shocked to see the latter outside of her room.</p>
<p>But even as everyone was kind, many of the students were afraid and on edge. It was draining to play the role of professor and assure them that everything would be alright when nothing would be alright. My father was dead, and he was never coming back.</p>
<p>I was grateful for the presence of the prince, a steady presence in the midst of my misery. Even as I feared that if I got too close, that if I acknowledged the feelings that hadn’t stopped growing for him that he would slip away, I couldn’t stay away.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was in the entrance hall when Dimitri came running up to me. “Professor, have you heard? They say we’ve finally located the enemy. It seems they’re hiding in the Sealed Forest, right near the monastery. Lady Rhea has summoned all of the knights to return and take them down.” He frowned and anger flashed in his eyes. “And all of this is being done in secret. Why? To keep us… no, to keep you in the dark.”</p>
<p>“Why the secrecy?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Lady Rhea likely assumed you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from confronting the enemy if you knew their location.” He flashed a smile at me. “But that is not how this story ends, is it? Professor… We’re at the ready. Order us to depart, and we’ll fight at your side.”</p>
<p>“No, I will not allow it,” Rhea’s stern voice rang out as she approached, flanked by Seteth and a knight.</p>
<p>“This discovery comes just when the knights are at their busiest,” Seteth cautioned. “It is all too likely that our foes revealed themselves to lure you out there. They are the ones who took Jeralt from you… I know how you must despise them, but I must ask you to rein in your personal feelings for now.”</p>
<p>I glared at them. “You can’t stop me.” If it was a trap, then our enemies would regret luring me out. I would cut them down, and I would cut down anyone who stood in my way.</p>
<p>Rhea glared back. “Please, Professor. Do not act carelessly. I ask that you leave this to us.” Her expression softened. “Losing you so soon after losing Jeralt would be unbearable.”</p>
<p>My palms stung as my fingernails dug into my skin. She hadn’t lost Jeralt, I had lost my father.</p>
<p>Dimitri shot me a look and took a step forward. “Lady Rhea, Seteth. Please, try to understand our reasoning before you refuse. With most of the knights still far away, we cannot afford for you two to leave the monastery undefended. The enemy’s strength is yet unknown. The only warriors who likely stand a chance are those who wield Relics. With all that in mind, it’s obvious who should be dispatched, is it not?” He took another glance at me before continuing, “If the professor leaves, we will go as well. We’ve already made preparations and are ready to depart at a moment’s notice. Surely you must see that we cannot wait any longer for the knights to gather. Please… Do what must be done and give us the order.”</p>
<p>The weight of his words sunk in. He’d gotten everyone prepared to move out before he’d even found me. And now, I knew that whether Rhea gave us permission or not, he would stop at nothing to get me to our enemies. Because he’d understood, the moment I had screamed at him that I would kill the one who murdered my father.</p>
<p>Rhea turned to me. “Professor… Do you agree with this strategy?”</p>
<p>I nodded, unsure that I could keep the rage from my voice if I spoke.</p>
<p>“Understood. I will give you the order,” Rhea said. “Destroy the enemy that is hiding in the Sealed Forest… You have the protection of the goddess on your side. Whatever happens, you shall overcome.”</p>
<p>“No matter what enemy we face, we will not fail. I promise you that,” Dimitri assured me.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“The Sealed Forest is up ahead. Stay alert,” Dedue cautioned as we approached.</p>
<p>“This is for Captain Jeralt. I will not falter,” Ingrid assured me.</p>
<p>“It is time to repay the kindness of the professor who saved my life!” Flayn said with grim determination.</p>
<p>Ashe gave me a nod. “Leave it to us, Professor. I’ll give it my all.”</p>
<p>Sylvain shook his head. “Fighting Tomas… It will be difficult, that’s for certain.”</p>
<p>“I don’t really love the idea of fighting people I know…” Mercedes admitted.</p>
<p>“We don’t have a choice,” Annette snapped back at her. “Even if it’s difficult, an enemy is an enemy. We’ve just got to get it over with!”</p>
<p>“Just kill them from behind,” Felix offered. “As long as you don’t see their faces, you won’t know if you know them.”</p>
<p>“We won’t know unless we see their face… Yes, I suppose that is true,” Dimitri said quietly before meeting my gaze. “Professor… I hope you know I meant what I told you before. Your enemy is my enemy. And I will follow you until the end, whatever that end may be.”</p>
<p>“That’s reassuring.” My grip tightened on the hilt of the Sword of the Creator. A part of me wondered if he’d meant the kiss he’d given me with those words as well, but with revenge on our enemies on the horizon, it wasn’t the time. It would probably never be the time where I would ask, but in that moment, there was only one thing I really wanted--the blood of Monica spilling in front of me. And Dimitri had set me up to take it.</p>
<p>“Yes… right. We’ll go fulfill our duty together. We’ve come this far. We can’t stop now. I hope you know that you can rely on us. No matter who the enemy is, we are prepared to cut them down,” Dimitri promised me.</p>
<p>I nodded. And whether I ever got the courage to ask him about the kiss or not, I knew that he meant those words, that he would kill for me.</p>
<p>“Yes… No matter who they may be…” he added quietly.</p>
<hr/>
<p>As we entered the forest, the cry of beasts met us. “Demonic Beasts!” Dimitri cursed. “The enemy was always intending to lure us here…”</p>
<p>And then I heard Monica’s voice echo out across the trees. “Hello! You’re here!” she cried out in delight. “Welcome to the forest of death!” She laughed. “My name is Kronya. This weakling girl was just a borrowed look for me.”</p>
<p>She appeared a few feet in front of me and miasma spread from her as her form changed, just as Solon’s had. Her skin was pale, almost blue, her hair a messy mop of orange that fell to the nape of her neck with bangs that covered her right eye. Her exposed left eye had a vertical line of black down the center that went from her eyebrow to her cheekbone. “This is what I really look like! Now, you vermin… I’ll take down every last one of you!”</p>
<p>We started advancing slowly, preparing to take on the beasts. But then Kronya’s voice rang out again. “Come get me, Byleth,” she called out, enunciating the syllables of my name. “By-<i>leth</i>. You’ll probably be just as easy to kill as that pathetic old man was!”</p>
<p>My blood felt like it was boiling in my veins as wrath filled me. I would kill her. Take my time slicing her into a thousand pieces. Before anyone could stop me, I was weaving through the trees, chasing after her. I could hear the sounds of fighting behind me and I knew my companions were taking on the beasts, but I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was the retribution I intended to inflict upon Kronya.</p>
<p>“You’re a fool to be so brazen,” she spit at me as I lunged towards her with my sword. “You’ll never avenge your father at this rate. I’ll have to kill you too! With my own hands!”</p>
<p>She said the last words as if nothing would bring her greater joy. We were the same in that regard, as I was certain that nothing would bring me greater joy than killing her with my own hands.</p>
<p>We crossed blades, but as I moved to shove her down, she darted back. But not before I managed to get a deep slice in on her thigh.</p>
<p>I continued to trail her and managed to get another slice in across her stomach. But it was not nearly deep enough, not deep enough to split her open and spill her insides out.</p>
<p>She started running from me in earnest, but then she tripped on the edge of a stone terrace. The ruins of stone pillars stood in each corner of the terrace. Kronya went flying forward, rolled, and then rose to her feet with her dagger raised before her, facing me. “But how?” she demanded. “How could I really lose… to a lowly creature like you?”</p>
<p>I raised my sword, preparing to strike her down. She took a step back.</p>
<p>“Well,” Solon mused as he appeared behind Kronya.</p>
<p>She turned and looked back at him. “Solon! Don’t just stand there and stare. I need your help!”</p>
<p>“Yes, you most certainly do,” he cooed at her as he took several steps in her direction.</p>
<p>“Huh?” She took a step back as he neared her.</p>
<p>Solon held out his hand and plunged it into Kronya’s chest. “Have no fear, Kronya. Your sacrifice will help to rid this world of the filthy vermin that have long infested it.”</p>
<p>Dark miasma began to burn around the pillars and around Solon. Kronya cried out in pain as he dragged her body to the edge of the terrace. The black flames had spread around the edge of the terrace, caging me in. I looked around in time to see Dimitri running toward the ruins with the rest of the class close behind him.</p>
<p>The flames spread to the center and reached out towards me, clawing at me like arms. I jerked back, but it held me in place even as I pulled against it. It didn’t burn, but I couldn’t move.</p>
<p>“Solon… Stop this!” Kronya cried out as the miasma wrapped around her body as well.</p>
<p>Solon ripped her heart from her chest and held it in the air. “The time has finally come… to unleash the Forbidden Spell of Zahras upon our enemies!” As he yelled, he clenched his fist tightly, crushing the heart in his hand.</p>
<p>Kronya fell to the ground and reached out towards me. “Please… help me…”</p>
<p>And even as she died in front of me, even as the darkness consumed us both, I looked her in the eyes and said, “No.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>There was nothing but darkness. Everywhere I looked, everywhere I turned, everywhere I ran, there was darkness and nothing else.</p>
<p><i>You fool!</i> Sothis reprimanded me harshly.</p>
<p>Green light flared in front of me and then she appeared on her throne high above me, corporeal just as she had been in my dreams. “What were you thinking, charging right into an enemy’s trap?” she demanded. “Are you just a boulder that rolls down whatever hill it’s on? No, even a boulder has more sense!”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. I’d allowed Kronya to work me into a rage, blind to everything but the need for vengeance in my fury.</p>
<p>“Apologizing won’t make things right! This darkness is terrifying!” she shot back at me before her expression softened. “As you and I are one… I, too, am trapped within this void. But please consider this… This realm of darkness we are in is separate from the world from which you came. I mean that it would take a god to leave this place.” She fixed me with a determined glare. “In time, our hearts and minds will cease to be. Are you prepared to die?”</p>
<p>“I am not.” Even as the pain of losing my father threatened to consume me, I did not wish for death--I'd only just started to know what it was like to really feel alive.</p>
<p>“I thought as much. I also do not wish to die.” She gave me a sad smile. “And yet… There is no other choice…”</p>
<p>“What choice?” I asked, afraid of what she was going to say.</p>
<p>She lounged on her throne. “Do you recall your father’s diary? He said you were a child who never cried nor laughed. I think I am the one to blame. I must have been asleep, but even then, I feel I was a part of you.” She shook her head. “I do not know how Rhea managed it, but she allowed me to exist inside of you. The truth is I have always been with you. It is within you that I found my power yet again.” She paused for a second to fix me with a heavy stare. “The power of a goddess. The power of the progenitor god.”</p>
<p>I stared at her. <i>Sothis.</i> The name of the goddess. I think, deep down, I’d known for a long time, but it made so little sense that I had thrust the possibility as far as I could from my mind. But there was no other explanation for what would allow me to take hold of the hands of time.</p>
<p>“My name is Sothis,” she said, giving voice to my thoughts. “By now you must be well aware of what that means. I am the one who watches over Fódlan and the creatures dwelling there. I am Sothis, she who died and then returned.”</p>
<p>“Somehow, I know it to be true,” I admitted. I felt it in my bones, my flesh, my blood, my soul.</p>
<p>“There is but one thing left to do to save us from this darkness of eternity. I must now use the power of a god.” She shook her head. “However, I lack a body of my own. And so, I must relinquish all the power that I have… to you. The time has come for you and I to join as one. And when that comes to pass… then I shall disappear.”</p>
<p>“I won’t allow it,” I said, shaking my head desperately. I’d rather spend eternity in the darkness than lose the voice that had always been in my unbeating heart. Even if I had nothing, she was a piece of me that I’d always felt there, and I didn’t know if I could bear to lose her too.</p>
<p>“When I say disappear, I do not mean that all I am will be no more,” she consoled. “My soul will join with yours, and you and I will never be apart. But… I will no longer have the chance to speak with you. I shall miss it. So long have I been on this path with you. Through you, I got to see and hear this world. I even got to chastise you from time to time. I may not have acted like a goddess, but… it was certainly fun.” She flashed me a brilliant smile. “For all that you have done… Thank you. I’m glad that it was you to whom my fate was bound.”</p>
<p>“Thank you… for everything,” I whispered.</p>
<p>“Now… We must pray. For if we share this wish, our spirits two will join as one…” Her smile turned sad. “Your wish… is to return to the forest, stop the enemy, and rescue the little ones. No need for words. I know your heart as though it were my own…”</p>
<p>She rose from her throne. “Your will and mine are now as one.” She began to descend the many steps of the dais on which her throne sat. “Both sides of time are revealed to you… and you alone.” She reached the ground where I stood. “You know I am the Beginning. What shall you do?”</p>
<p><i>I shall become the End.</i> The Ashen Demon, returned with a vengeance to rain destruction down upon my enemies. A calamity.</p>
<p>The throne high above scattered into glowing, golden light and circled around us. Sothis rose off the ground in front of me to float in the air. I held out my right hand towards her and she slowly glided forward, holding out her own hand to meet mine. As our hands were about to touch, her body began to dissolve into light. I closed my eyes as the light glittered all around me.</p>
<p>And then the darkness returned as that light flooded into me, filling every crack in my battle worn soul. Pure energy flared around me, unable to be contained by my mortal shell, the force of it sending my hair and jacket flying upwards. Light exploded in the room again, but it was not around me--it was coming from me. I was not just filled with power, I <i>was</i> power. Ancient and terrifying and unknowable.</p>
<p>I opened my eyes as the empty circle in the hilt of the Sword of the Creator burst to life with color and I drew the blade from my side. With a cry, I thrust the blade forward, slicing through the darkness and cutting a path back into my world.</p>
<p>I could hear Solon’s voice on the other side, “So the Fell Star consumes even the darkness itself…”</p>
<p>I leapt through the tear between worlds, landing in a crouch before rising to my feet.</p>
<p>“Professor… That is you, isn’t it?” I glanced away from Solon to see Dimitri and the rest of the students standing nearby. Dimitri’s lance was raised like he had been about to strike at the dark mage. “I am glad you are safe. I was sure that you would return.” He looked back at Solon. “Please tell me all that happened to you later. For now, it’s imperative that we kill the demon!”</p>
<p>“What did you see in the darkness of Zahras?” Solon demanded. “This should be impossible. The only being that can withstand that darkness is…” Fear flashed across his features. “Unless I dispose of you myself, I may never have the chance to send you back there!”</p>
<p>There was no chance of that. I could still feel power pulsing in my veins, becoming my flesh and blood and bone. I settled my gaze on him.</p>
<p>The dark mage staggered back a step under the weight of my stare. “I am terrified by you…”</p>
<p>The line blurred between goddess and demon. “You should be.” The very earth trembled beneath my feet as I spoke. I thrust forward before he could move, piercing my blade through his chest just as I had pierced through the darkness.</p>
<p>“But this is not the end…” Solon managed to choke out. “Thales will carry out our mission, somehow…”</p>
<p>“Thales… Does he also serve the Flame Emperor?” Dimitri questioned. “It can’t be…”</p>
<p>As Solon fell, the rest of the class rushed off to make sure there were no reinforcements. Or maybe they were terrified of me too. But Dimitri remained before me. “Professor… I’m glad you’re okay. And you seem relatively unscathed. I’m… I’m so relieved. What’s more, Jeralt’s foe is dead. Though we took little satisfaction from it.” He was quiet for a moment as he looked at me. “Professor… I must ask. What happened after we were separated? You look… different.”</p>
<p>He reached out with a shaky hand and lifted a lock of my hair, and I stared as I saw the shade of it. It was not the green-black I’d had all my life. No, my hair was now a striking seafoam green that seemed to almost glow.</p>
<p>“The goddess gifted me her power,” I finally said. It wasn’t a great explanation, and it did nothing to convey the weight of what Sothis had truly done for me, but it was the best I could do.</p>
<p>“The goddess appeared… and gave you her power?” he asked in disbelief. “It’s as though… the legend of old has been made flesh. It’s hard to grasp, in all honesty. But having seen you pierce the sky with my own eyes, I find myself unable to doubt it.”</p>
<p>“A legend of old?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Yes. The legend of Saint Seiros. It is said that she received a divine revelation from the goddess and was gifted with her power. Long ago, the goddess dispatched Seiros to defeat an evil king who went mad with power. Perhaps the goddess saw the goodness of Seiros within you too, and wished to help you in your quest to defeat evil.” He paused. “Hm. If you’re Seiros, granted power by the goddess, then I suppose that makes me…” He trailed off, looking flustered. “Ah, nevermind. I’m getting carried away.”</p>
<p>I wanted to ask him how he could possibly think of me as an embodiment of goodness. I wanted to ask him who he thought it made him. I wanted to promise him that I was still me. And I wanted to tell him how relieved I was that he was safe, that I had made it in time. But as the rush of power thrumming in my veins began to ebb, I was overcome with exhaustion. I felt my legs start to give out and then there was nothing.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The sound of singing roused me. My head was pounding, but I knew the song. Sothis had recognized the song when she heard it. And now, I couldn’t hear Sothis anymore.</p>
<p>“What happened?” I mumbled.</p>
<p>I blearily peered up to see Rhea above me. Fear shot through me as I realized I was laying with my head in her lap.</p>
<p>“Everything is alright. There is no need to worry,” she soothed. “Those who are trying to harm you are far away.”</p>
<p>She hummed softly for a bit before she spoke again, smoothing a hand over my hair. “How lovely it would be for this moment to last forever… I wish I could hold on to this time we have stolen… that you and I could create a world without end… I have heard whispers of what happened to you. Your appearance… you have received power from the goddess. From the moment you took hold of the Sword of the Creator… I prayed that one day the radiant power of Sothis, which bathes Fódlan in its celestial light, might reside within you. But you are so much more than the light. You are my… Close your eyes, dear one. Sleep, just a while longer.”</p>
<p>I wanted to run. I wanted to run as far away from her as I could, but my body wouldn’t move. And soon, sleep overtook me once more.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>After the terrible loss of Jeralt, Dimitri had a small stroke of luck when he followed the sound of voices only to catch sight of the Flame Emperor himself along with Monica and a figure he didn’t recognize. Monica, who had been the one to take Jeralt’s life. Monica, who had plunged his professor into the depths of despair.</p>
<p>He was settling in to listen when the sound of footsteps behind him had him whirling. Only to see his professor herself coming to his side. He hadn’t seen her since Jeralt’s funeral service. “Professor? We must remain quiet…” he warned her, not wanting to miss the chance to listen in on their enemies.</p>
<p>She stiffened as her eyes fell upon who they were eavesdropping on and her hand moved towards her dagger. The dagger that Jeralt had given her. “It’s time for revenge,” she snarled.</p>
<p>Her words threatened to make him weak in the knees. That vicious part of her that was the same as him on such a fundamental level, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again. But he would not. It had been a moment of weakness, taking advantage of her grief, and he dared not do it again when she had not broached the subject, and he dared not bring it up for fear of the rejection that would surely await him.</p>
<p>But it didn’t mean he would entirely stay away--he wasn’t that strong. He caught her hand as it reached for her dagger, holding it tightly within his own. “Not yet, Professor,” he whispered in her ear, relishing the closeness, even for a moment. “If we keep listening, we might be able to find out more.”</p>
<p>He wanted nothing more than to tear Monica apart himself, but he knew that this was a rare opportunity.</p>
<p>“Oh, thank you. You saved me!” Monica said to the figure Dimitri didn’t recognize.</p>
<p>The figure responded coldly, “If you were to die, then the mystery of our bodies would be revealed. Preventing that was my only aim. I’m afraid you must remain, Kronya. There is something I need you to do.”</p>
<p>Monica smiled. “Oh, of course. I am always happy to cooperate with Solon. Leave it to me.”</p>
<p>Monica, Solon, the Flame Emperor, and this new figure… They were all working together. Responsible for the atrocities in Remire Village and the murder of Jeralt.</p>
<p>“How annoying,” the Flame Emperor huffed.</p>
<p>The white-haired figure turned to the Flame Emperor. “Flame Emperor… Is she offending you? Unfortunately, we cannot take our eyes off her, so there is nothing to be done. You are our greatest creation. We used the defiled beast’s blood as the fuel to your flame, that you may burn even the gods. Now is the time to cleanse Fódlan with that power, and bring forth our salvation.”</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor shook his head. “There will be no salvation for you and your kind. Those responsible for such gruesome deeds in Duscur and Enbarr.”</p>
<p><i>This is it,</i> Glenn breathed.</p>
<p><i>Tear their heads from their shoulders!</i> his father urged him.</p>
<p>The figure was responding, “All so that you may acquire the strength you need. All for a purpose…”</p>
<p>But Dimitri barely heard the words through the voices around him. This was his chance. “I’ve got you… Finally…”</p>
<p>“Wait,” his professor’s voice broke through the chorus in his head as she held him back. “Let’s keep listening.”</p>
<p>But he couldn’t wait. Not any longer. “If we don’t act now, we’ll miss our chance.” And it wasn’t his vengeance alone anymore, it was for Jeralt too. The figures before them had taken <i>everything</i> from both him and the woman he loved. The woman he pulled forward with him, because he knew she wanted to tear them apart too.</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor turned. “Hmm…” And then there was a flash of light reflecting off of metal as a dagger hit the corner of the wall next to them and clattered to the ground.</p>
<p>“Hmph. Even if someone overheard us, there is nothing they can do. There have always been rats in the walls, and there always will be,” the white-haired figure said dismissively.</p>
<p>There were rats in the walls--Dimitri was staring at the rats in front of him.</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor lingered, staring at the corner where he and his professor were hidden for just a moment before all three disappeared with a flash of red light. He finally dropped the hand he’d been tightly clenching in his own and ran out to where the figures had stood.</p>
<p>“No… The dagger…” he breathed as he retrieved the weapon. It wasn’t possible. He had to be remembering incorrectly.</p>
<p>“What about the dagger?” his professor asked at his side.</p>
<p>“It… no. Nevermind. It couldn’t possibly be so.” It was an effort to keep his grip around the hilt loose enough to not shatter it. But even if it were true… he knew without a doubt now. He had a face to put to his enemies. The Flame Emperor. Monica. The white-haired figure. He looked back at his professor. “Professor, those are the ones we must destroy. They’re the bastards who killed my family and Jeralt. For now, let’s return to the monastery and regroup. As for the Flame Emperor’s dagger… I’ll hold on to it for the time being.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>She must not have known he was there. He was sure that she wouldn’t have let her tears slip if she’d thought anyone was still in the classroom, especially after putting up such a strong front throughout the day. But now in solitude, the tears were silently streaming down her cheeks.</p>
<p>He had been surprised to see her back. He’d been expecting another day of Professor Hanneman or Professor Manuela filling in for her, but when his own professor showed up instead, his words had immediately spilled out of him.</p>
<p>She’d been on his mind every moment since he’d last seen her, really long before that. There was no one else he could love, no one else who could understand the tarnished pieces of his soul. The beast in him would kill anyone for her, but so would he.</p>
<p>Now he was frozen, unsure if he should stay or go. Trapped between the desire to hold her in his arms and gently wipe away her tears and knowing that nothing he could do would fill the void of that loss, knowing that he was witnessing a private, vulnerable moment not meant for his eyes. And there was his answer. This moment was not meant for him. He turned to leave as quietly as he could.</p>
<p>“Don’t go.” Her voice was quiet, a desperate note in it.</p>
<p>When he turned back to face her, she was watching him. Those dark blue eyes that had once looked so empty now glistened with tears, her grief palpable in the air. It broke any resolve to keep his distance. He closed the gap between them to stand beside her.</p>
<p>Sometimes he forgot how small she was. The way her presence commanded his attention, commanded a battlefield, made her seem larger than life at times. But as she gazed up at him, tears slipping down her cheeks, he was reminded that she was just a young woman, who was feeling pain as deeply as he did. He raised a hand and cupped her cheek, gently wiping away the stream of tears with his thumb.</p>
<p>“I’m so tired of hearing how strong I am for overcoming my father’s death. As if I didn’t see him die over and over and over. As if I don’t see it every time I close my eyes. I’m having to comfort others over the loss of my father. The Golden Deer are worried about Leonie. She lost her hero, I lost my father!”</p>
<p>When he dropped his hand to rest it supportively on her shoulder she buried her face in his chest.</p>
<p>“You’re the only one who understands,” she said quietly.</p>
<p>Dimitri wrapped his arms tightly around her. “We’ll find the ones who did this to you. And we will make them pay,” he promised her. The ones who had done this to them both, because she knew they were the same, too. They had the same enemies, and the same drive to tear them apart.</p>
<p>She tapped a cadence softly on his arm with a finger, and it took him a moment to realize that it was the beat of his own heart. As she did so, she seemed to shake with the force of her tears and he gripped her tighter, wishing that he could take her grief as his own.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri watched in horror as the miasma spread, blocking his view of his professor. And then when it dissipated, there was no trace of her or Kronya.</p>
<p>Solon stood in the center of the ruins. “Be gone with you… Fell Star,” he breathed.</p>
<p>“What was that sorcery? What happened to our professor?!” Dimitri demanded.</p>
<p>Solon turned to face him. “She was swallowed by the mystical darkness of the forbidden spell. An eternity wandering in a void of nothingness… To think we almost had the Sword of the Creator…”</p>
<p>“That’s a lie!” Annette cried out next to him. “There’s no way the professor is really dead!”</p>
<p>“That’s right!” Flayn agreed. “Our professor is no ordinary human!”</p>
<p>Dedue shook his head, his expression hard. “I do not believe our professor has fallen.”</p>
<p>Solon smiled at them. “It is possible that death has yet to find your friend. But there are worse things than death. Drifting through the darkness with no chance of escape… Overwhelmed with hopelessness… It must be torturous.”</p>
<p>“We cannot abandon hope, Your Highness.” Dedue said, looking to Dimitri. “Our professor lives, I know it.”</p>
<p>“You’re right. We will save the professor,” Dimitri responded, knowing in his heart that he would accept no alternative. “But first, let’s destroy this fiend!”</p>
<p>He faced Solon, tightening his grip on his lance. This monster who had taken her from him and sent her somewhere <i>torturous</i>. She wasn’t dead, Solon’s words were confirmation of that. But he knew well that there were worse things than death, he who had wished for death nearly every day since he’d lost everything, but he could not die until he absolved the regrets of those who’d died. It was only recently that he’d begun to reconsider that wish for his own end, only with her by his side.</p>
<p>He loved her, but so did the beast within him. It was the beast that was raging, and Dimitri had no desire to restrain it. No, he would make Solon suffer. “I’ll slice you into a thousand pieces as you watch with horror… You will know true pain before I finally allow you to die!”</p>
<p>“How trite,” Solon responded dismissively. “But if you wish for pain, I shall oblige. If you prefer it so, you shall also be added to the ranks of the dead!”</p>
<p>As he raised his lance to strike, the sky appeared to darken. A blade pierced through that darkening sky, and not just any blade--the blade of the Sword of the Creator tore through the heavens, slicing open a wound that flared brilliantly with red light.</p>
<p>Solon’s attention had turned to the tear in the sky as well. “So the Fell Star consumes even the darkness itself…”</p>
<p>From the gaping wound in the sky, his professor emerged, landing on her feet in a crouch before rising to her full height. But what had gone into the darkness was not what had come out of it.	</p>
<p>Her hair and eyes had changed, turning a color like spring as she seemed to burn brightly with an inner light.</p>
<p>“Professor… That is you, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>She glanced towards him, and as their eyes met, he knew without a doubt that it was her. He also knew in that moment that she had ascended far beyond his reach. He wouldn’t have believed it possible for her to be even more breathtaking, but she was, basked in the light from the hole she’d pierced through the sky and seeming to emit an ethereal glow herself.</p>
<p>“I am glad you are safe. I was sure that you would return,” he told her. He’d been unable to contain his fury and his terror when she had disappeared, leaving him behind the way that everyone left him behind. But she’d come back to him. “Please tell me all that happened to you later. For now, it’s imperative that we kill the demon!”</p>
<p>Solon was staring at her, his eyes wide. “What did you see in the darkness of Zahras? This should be impossible. The only being that can withstand that darkness is… Unless I dispose of you myself, I may never have the chance to send you back there!”</p>
<p>Dimitri would not allow that. He would not allow anyone to take her from him again. The few minutes that she’d been gone had been a torture he did not want to endure again.</p>
<p>His professor turned her gaze from him onto Solon and the mage shrank from it, as if her stare alone were heavy enough to crush him. “I am terrified by you…” the mage murmured.</p>
<p>“You should be,” she responded coolly.</p>
<p>She’d always been less a human and more a force of nature on the battlefield, but now the earth itself trembled at her words. Then she impaled Solon through the chest with the Sword of the Creator, the blade incandescent and lustrous in a way it had not been before.</p>
<p>Solon coughed out his dying words, “But this is not the end… Thales will carry out our mission, somehow…”</p>
<p>Could that have been the name of the white-haired figured they’d spied with Kronya and the Flame Emperor? “Thales… Does he also serve the Flame Emperor?” Dimitri demanded, but he would not get an answer. Too many enemies remained, even if Solon and Kronya had perished. And those enemies could be closer than they thought. “It can’t be…”	</p>
<p>Upon ascertaining the safety of their professor, the others spread out to ensure the area was clear of enemies, leaving Dimitri standing alone with her. She	turned from Solon’s corpse to face him as the flare of light coming from both the tear in the sky that was beginning to close and from her began to recede.</p>
<p>“Professor… I’m glad you’re okay. And you seem relatively unscathed. I’m… I’m so relieved.” He wasn’t sure what he would have done if she hadn’t returned. The world itself may not have been able to withstand his wrath. “What’s more, Jeralt’s foe is dead. Though we took little satisfaction from it.” He would have taken more satisfaction from it had he been able to tear Kronya apart himself, or watch his professor do so.</p>
<p>“Professor… I must ask. What happened after we were separated? You look… different,” he continued, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to grasp the seafoam tresses.</p>
<p>She was quiet for a moment as she stared at the hair in his hand, her green eyes wide as if she hadn’t realized. “The goddess gifted me her power,” she said.</p>
<p>“The goddess appeared… and gave you her power?” She hadn’t just ascended out of his reach, she’d become divine. But he couldn’t help reaching helplessly for her anyway. “It’s as though… the legend of old has been made flesh. It’s hard to grasp, in all honesty. But having seen you pierce the sky with my own eyes, I find myself unable to doubt it.”</p>
<p>“A legend of old?”</p>
<p>He shouldn’t have been surprised that she didn’t know it, growing up outside the influence of the church. “Yes. The legend of Saint Seiros. It is said that she received a divine revelation from the goddess and was gifted with her power. Long ago, the goddess dispatched Seiros to defeat an evil king who went mad with power. Perhaps the goddess saw the goodness of Seiros within you too, and wished to help you in your quest to defeat evil. Hm. If you’re Seiros, then I suppose that makes me…” If she was like the Saint Seiros, then he could only be a mad king. He’d thought them the same, but she had reached a zenith where he would inevitably fall. “Ah, nevermind. I’m getting carried away.”</p>
<p>She opened her mouth to respond, but then her eyes fluttered closed and she was falling.</p>
<p>“Professor! What’s wrong?!” Dimitri demanded. But she wasn’t going to respond. He barely managed to get his arms around her fast enough to keep her from collapsing to the ground.</p>
<p>Panic started to set in as her eyes didn’t open. The fear that he’d felt when she’d disappeared into the darkness resurfacing, the terror that he would lose her like he lost everyone. He pressed an ear to her chest, praying to the goddess that had blessed her that she was still alive. And he heard… nothing. There was silence in her chest where there should have been the steady beating of her heart.</p>
<p>But even as despair threatened to pull him under, her chest rose and fell under his head with the rhythm of her breathing.</p>
<p>“What is happening these days?” he muttered to himself.</p>
<p>None of it made any sense. But he’d seen her pierce through the sky and emerge from the darkness glowing like a star fallen to the earth. He couldn’t help but recall when he’d held her in the classroom and she’d softly tapped out the tempo of his own beating heart, crying harder as she did so. Had she done so because her own heart did not beat?</p>
<p>And even if her heart did not beat, he didn’t care. She had already consumed his own heart, even if her heart did not beat, his own heart beat for her.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Professor,” he whispered into her hair as he cradled her limp form in his arms. Her scent was unchanged, still the spring rain that her appearance now matched. “I have no choice but to carry you back.”</p>
<p>She was so light and so small in his arms. And he was already dreading the moment that he would have to let go.</p>
<p>If she was blessed by the goddess, he wanted desperately to reach out and beg, beg for her to save him.</p>
<p>Glenn finished his thought for him, <i>But she might smite you instead.</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Throne of Knowledge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions venture into the Holy Tomb for a ceremony.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CONTENT WARNING: Self-harm.<br/>It kind of gets referenced in both points of view in the middle sections, but the actual act is quick and begins in Byleth POV with "It was with that acrid thought..."</p>
<p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>I have good news - next week will be another bi-weekly update! To War should be up on Tuesday or Wednesday and then a little bit of a shorter chapter on Friday that covers some of the timeskip. The week after that, I miiiiight be able to get another bi-weekly update in, but it's really a toss up, so it might be back to the weekly updates then. I should have a better idea by next Friday when the timeskip chapter goes up and will try and give an idea of what to expect.</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Coming Undone - Korn<br/>weapon - Against the Current</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>I finally worked up the courage to knock on the door to Rhea’s audience chamber. I’d reasoned that the sooner I knocked, the sooner I could escape her clutches again. I waited for Sothis to chime in, but there was silence in my heart.</p>
<p>“You may enter,” Rhea called, but she sounded flustered.</p>
<p>I opened the door and walked in to see Rhea and Seteth standing together at the other end of the room. Seteth looked unhappy about something.</p>
<p>“I have been awaiting your arrival, Professor,” Rhea said. “Now that you have received sacred power from the goddess, there is somewhere you must pay a visit to at once. You must go to the Holy Tomb so that you may receive a divine revelation from the goddess.”</p>
<p><i>The goddess is gone,</i> I wanted to tell her. But instead I asked, “The Holy Tomb?”</p>
<p>“The Holy Tomb is where the goddess sleeps. This monastery was originally built for the purpose of protecting that hallowed temple,” Seteth explained.</p>
<p><i>No, she isn’t there, she is gone.</i> I wanted to scream at Rhea. Scream and ask her what she had done to me. Scream to fill the silence in my heart where nothing but a foreign power hummed.</p>
<p>“Only a select few know about it, but there is a legend about Seiros and the Holy Tomb. Saint Seiros, the first soul to be gifted power from the goddess, received her revelation there,” Rhea continued. “She was told it was her sacred duty to save the people of Fódlan, and that she must use her power wisely in order to lead them. The words that were handed down to Seiros from the goddess will likely fall upon your ears as well.”</p>
<p>“Prepare yourself to go at once,” Seteth said. But I caught him shoot a reproachful glance at Rhea. “There, may you find out why you were blessed with such power.”</p>
<p>Find out what Rhea had done to me, more like it. But I held my tongue.</p>
<p>“There will be a ceremony at the Holy Tomb. It is then that you will receive the goddess’ revelation. You may share this mission with your students,” Rhea informed me.</p>
<p>“Do you think it wise to bring them into this?” I asked sharply.</p>
<p>She smiled sweetly at me and it made my skin crawl. “It is said that when Seiros received the revelation, she had holy warriors by her side, protecting her. Your students, who have followed you and fought alongside you through the darkest of times, are well suited to stand by you for the ceremony. Of course, as the leader of the Church of Seiros, I will be by your side as well.”</p>
<p>They were students, not my holy warriors. And they shouldn’t be forced into whatever scheme Rhea was hatching. I didn’t want to go anywhere with her. “Strange for you to attend,” I said through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>“The occasion is too significant to be missed,” she said, as if that excused it. “Even if something were to happen, I am more than capable of protecting myself.”</p>
<p>Seteth studied me carefully. “Much has changed, but your duty has not wavered. Steel your mind for the ceremony, and prepare your students well.”</p>
<p>I turned and left without being dismissed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dedue caught me as I was leaving the training ground for the evening. He and Dimitri had been sparring.</p>
<p>“Professor. Please. If he hears it from you that he needs to rest, perhaps His Highness will listen,” Dedue requested quietly.</p>
<p>I glanced at Dimitri. He looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes and his lips were pale. We hadn’t spoken much since my transformation. I had been so afraid of acknowledging any of the feelings that I had towards him for fear of him slipping away, but he seemed to be slipping away from me regardless, as everyone important to me had done recently. My father was dead, Sothis was gone, and the prince too was sliding out of my reach.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head at me. “He’s exaggerating. He thinks my color is off and that rest will cure all. I have a headache, but that’s just from lack of sleep. It’s not going to stop me from completing this month’s mission.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t care less about this month’s mission. I wanted to forget all about it, but nobody could stop talking about. “You should rest,” I encouraged gently.</p>
<p>Dedue looked at me gratefully. “The professor agrees. Please rest. At least until the task is at hand.”</p>
<p>“I won’t. Even if I tried, it’s not like I would get any decent sleep,” Dimitri responded bitterly. “It would only be a waste of time.” Then he turned away from us and began to practice on his own again.</p>
<p>I shot Dedue a helpless look and stalked out of the training ground.</p>
<p>I thought that was the end of it, but Felix was waiting to ambush me on the other side of the door.</p>
<p>“I’m not really in the mood for sparring,” I confessed to him as he fell into step beside me.</p>
<p>“As much as I’d love to see if you’re even more formidable now, that’s not why I wanted to talk to you,” he responded as he caught my wrist, pulling me to a stop and forcing me to face him. “Hurry up and cage the wild boar.” His eyes were angry. “He’s losing his grip. Even in his swordplay, he’s getting sloppy. You saw him during our training today. If he keeps progressing like this, he’s going to get himself killed.”</p>
<p><i>You’re worried about him,</i> I wanted to say. But I knew if I pointed it out, Felix would just deny it, so instead I just offered him a nod. I was worried too, if I was being honest. But I also felt like I was losing my own grip.</p>
<p>“Kronya, Solon… They’re dead, but we still have a glut of enemies. We still have to take down the Death Knight and the Flame Emperor. Our next battle is fast approaching. I’m ready for it,” he assured me before turning and heading back towards the training grounds.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Sylvain walked with me the next morning on my way to the dining hall for breakfast. “I swear, it’s like you’re an entirely different person,” he finally said.</p>
<p>I knew he wasn’t referring to my sullen silence. He was referring to the way that I didn’t recognize myself at first whenever I passed by a mirror. “Isn’t it weird?”</p>
<p>He caught sight of my frown and shook his head. “It’s not weird at all. It’s…” He flashed me a wink. “You’re somehow even more beautiful than before.”</p>
<p>I fixed him with a stare.</p>
<p>“I’m joking! I’m joking!” He threw his hands up in defense. “Don’t get mad.”</p>
<p>By the time I had gotten my breakfast, the dining hall was beginning to empty, but I spotted Annette sitting at the end of one of the tables by herself. I wandered over and sat next to her.</p>
<p>“Bah! Professor!” Annette jumped. “Sorry, this will take some getting used to…” She looked away from me. “Your hair and eye color are completely different! You just don’t look like yourself anymore.”</p>
<p>I wished I had sat by myself. “Maybe I am a different person,” I muttered.</p>
<p>“Don’t scare me like that!” she whined. “You are still you… right? You are, right?”</p>
<p>“It’s only my appearance that has changed.”</p>
<p>“Of course. You’re right. I’m just being silly, as usual.”</p>
<p>But when she ate quickly and left, I found that it stung.</p>
<hr/>
<p>By the end of the week, I felt like a bowstring that was wound too tight, like one wrong movement would cause the fraying strands to snap. Even Seteth had seemed on edge around me when he told me his theory that Tomas and Monica had been replaced at some point with impostors, given the fact that Monica’s personality and mannerisms had completely changed when she’d been retrieved.</p>
<p>I’d spent the evening hiding out in my room. If I had to listen to one more person comment about my appearance or avert their gaze when I passed by, I wasn’t sure what I would do. I tried to sleep, but found that I could do nothing but toss and turn.</p>
<p>The silence was deafening around me and in my frozen heart where I used to be able to feel Sothis. When we’d first merged together, I had felt boundless power welling up in every part of me, but now it too was quiet. I could tell something had changed, but it felt like some behemoth within me had gone to sleep.</p>
<p>Both Sothis and my father were gone, and I was filled with dread for the revelation that everyone was looking forward to. I was trapped here, unable to escape Rhea’s clutches--the clutches my father had so desperately tried to keep me out of.</p>
<p>By the time I was able to tear myself from my thoughts, I realized that I was just staring at the stranger in the mirror. The mint green was a shock every time I saw it, and when I met my own gaze, it didn’t feel like I was staring into my own eyes anymore. Everything was changed.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be surprised if even my blood had turned green. It was with that acrid thought that I drew my dagger from my hip and sliced a horizontal line across my forearm. I barely felt the pain as the blade cut through my flesh and saw to my relief the hot blood that spilled from the wound was crimson.</p>
<p>Shame flooded through me as I sheathed the stained blade. I was unraveling. I shot another glare at my reflection as my hand clenched into a fist at my side and I brought it crashing into the smooth glass before me. It cracked and shattered, falling away and breaking my line of sight with the changed woman I’d been staring at. I barely felt the shards as they cut, as more red blood dripped down from my torn knuckles and fell on the floor.</p>
<p>At some point after that, I’d ended up in front of the grave that now had both my mother and father’s names on it. I stood there for a long time, long enough that the blood had stopped dripping down my arm and my hand and my knuckles began to throb. I wondered what my father would have said to me. I’d barely started to show feelings around him, much less ever had any kind of outburst. I wondered if he’d get mad and tell me to pull myself together or just patiently watch me like he always had. “I miss you,” I whispered.</p>
<p>When I turned to leave and maybe begin the trek back to my quarters, I caught sight of Dimitri standing at the top of the stairs leading back to the main level of the monastery. How long had he been standing there?</p>
<p>As I reached the top step, his eyes flicked down to my hand and arm, still crusted with dried blood. Wordlessly, he caught my wrist.</p>
<p>I stopped.</p>
<p>He studied the cut across my forearm and my torn knuckles for a long moment, a muscle quivering in his jaw, and then he started pulling me along. I let him.</p>
<p>He eventually brought me to the training grounds. Funny how so many of our interactions seemed to lead back here. Maybe it was because that was who we were--two people who seemed to know nothing but fighting.</p>
<p>He disappeared for a second and then returned carrying a cloth and bandages. I was surprised by the gentleness with which he started to wipe away the blood, beginning with my knuckles before moving to wipe the blood from my wrist and forearm.</p>
<p>“I don’t have any magic to heal you, so I’m afraid this will have to do,” he finally said.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to drag me to Manuela?”</p>
<p>“No. I have a feeling you don’t want to deal with her questioning.”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for taking so long,” he said as he placed the now stained cloth on the ground and reached for the bandages. “Perhaps because of my strength, I have always been rather clumsy. I always end up breaking things that are precious…”</p>
<p>I blinked at him in silence as the implication of his words settled in. I’d seen him nearly tear a door off the wall, watched him snap a lance clean in two in a single hand. I’d even heard a rumor of him lifting an entire wagon by himself and something about it being a part of the Blaiddyd bloodline. But his strength was not what my mind was stuck on. I was stuck on the word precious. <i>Things that are precious.</i> I didn’t want to let myself believe that he meant me.</p>
<p>When he was finished with the bandages, he took my wrist again and led me back to my room. Outside the door, he dropped my wrist and took my uninjured hand instead, giving a gentle squeeze. “You’re still you,” he assured me softly. “Please don’t ever do this again.” His other hand gingerly ran over the bandage on my forearm.</p>
<p>I nodded. He’d seen right through me. And his words soothed some of the rage that had been festering within me since Kronya had killed my father. Standing at his side, I felt more whole than I had since Sothis had gone silent in my heart. I’d thought that I wanted to be his heart, but perhaps he had already become mine, replacing the useless thing in my chest that did not beat.</p>
<p>“I won’t be able to sleep,” I said quietly. I didn’t want to go back into my room and face the deafening silence. “Will you… walk with me?”</p>
<p>He nodded, and did not drop my hand as we walked. We ended up in the field where the first mock battle had been held, the field where I’d first gone to try out the Sword of the Creator. It provided an unobstructed view of the night sky, and while the stars were not as brilliant or close as they had been the night we’d visited the Goddess Tower, they were still stunning.</p>
<p>Our breath fogged in the cold winter air in front of us, and we ended up sitting side by side. I savored the warmth coming from him as I leaned into him.</p>
<p>“The stars are beautiful, aren’t they?” I murmured as I looked up at them. A reminder that even if he would be far removed from me once he became king, that at least I could look upon the same sky as him.</p>
<p>“Yes, they are,” he said softly. “Are you cold?”</p>
<p>“A little,” I confessed. “But I’m alright.”</p>
<p>I dropped my gaze from the sky when I felt him shifting next to me, in time to see him finish unhooking his cape from his shoulder and settle it around my own shoulders. “Is that better?”</p>
<p>I nodded. And leaning against him, wrapped in his warmth and the scent of the forests of Faerghus, the scent of my father’s homeland, I found my weariness finally dragging me into slumber.</p>
<p>When I woke next, morning light was filtering through the window of my room where I was tucked into my bed. There was no trace of the shards of mirror that had been scattered across the floor or the blood that had dripped down. And on the desk, there was a glass of water with a few flowers in it--valerian, my mother’s favorite.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The day I was dreading arrived too soon. The Blue Lions were gathered in the cathedral, waiting for Rhea to arrive. I felt sick to my stomach.</p>
<p>“A revelation from the goddess… To think we’ll have the honor of attending such a historical event,” Dimitri said.</p>
<p>“I hear the archbishop will accompany us to the Holy Tomb,” Dedue added.</p>
<p>“If something happens to her, all of Fódlan will suffer,” Ingrid fretted. “We must protect her at all costs.”</p>
<p>“This may sound mad, but perhaps we don’t have to worry so much about that,” Dimitri began hesitantly. “Lady Rhea has said before that she is capable of protecting herself. I have a feeling that is true. I thought it was a strange thing for her to say. And beyond that, her movements bring to mind a great warrior with an extensive military background.”</p>
<p>“Who is Rhea, really?” I wondered aloud.</p>
<p>“I wonder… Mind, it’s also possible that I’m way off track,” Dimitri mused. “Regardless, perhaps we should brace ourselves for anything.”</p>
<p>“I never imagined attending a ceremony for a real revelation,” Ashe said, shaking his head.</p>
<p>“I wonder what the ceremony will be like,” Mercedes breathed excitedly. “I’m so nervous! I’m not ready for this!”</p>
<p>I did not mention to her that I was not ready for it either.</p>
<p>“There’s no chance for battle unless something goes terribly wrong, right? How boring,” Felix lamented.</p>
<p>“If you keep saying things like that, something bad is bound to happen,” Sylvain warned him.</p>
<p>Annette looked at Flayn. “What’s wrong, Flayn? You look like you have something on your mind.”</p>
<p>Flayn shook her head at Annette, but she did look subdued. “Who, me? No… It is nothing. May we all see this through to the end.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness, I will protect you no matter what,” Dedue said dutifully to Dimitri. And then he noticed that Dimitri was staring distractedly at the ground. “Your Highness?”</p>
<p>Dimitri made a small, pained sound.</p>
<p>“You haven’t seemed like yourself lately,” I said to him quietly. I supposed I hadn’t either, but I was far more worried about him than I was myself. I couldn’t stand the distance that had seemed to form between us. Even the night we’d spent stargazing, he had seemed preoccupied.</p>
<p>“I haven’t been sleeping well recently,” he admitted. “And my head aches… but no need to worry. Let’s focus on the task at hand. It’s about time for Lady Rhea to arrive. Let’s all steel ourselves for whatever may occur at this ceremony.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Are you surprised, Professor?” Rhea asked. “This is the Holy Tomb.”</p>
<p>She’d brought us into a massive chamber beneath the monastery.</p>
<p>I was grateful when Dimitri answered for me. “Incredible… To think such a vast space has been hiding beneath the monastery all this time… I wonder what powers that giant mechanism that descends beneath the ground…”</p>
<p>“This is where the goddess who created this world was laid to rest, along with her children,” Rhea said as she led Dimitri and I to the back of the chamber where… a throne sat upon a dais. “It is said that our creator, the goddess Sothis, sat upon this very throne.” She looked at me. “Professor… Do you recognize this throne?”</p>
<p>“I do,” I whispered. I’d seen Sothis rise from that throne to descend the steps. I’d seen that throne scatter into light and felt it flood into me.</p>
<p>“So long… I have waited so very long for this day,” Rhea breathed. “Sit upon the throne. I have no doubt you will be gifted a revelation from the goddess.”</p>
<p>I wanted to tell her that the throne was gone, that this was only a replica. But I thought of the empty silence in my heart. If I sat, would Sothis fill that silence once again?</p>
<p>I hesitantly walked forward. I stopped in front of the throne and took a deep breath. I could feel Dimitri staring at me. I took the last step forward and awkwardly sat on the huge, stone chair. I was unable to lounge in it the way Sothis had. I waited. And waited. And nothing happened. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Sothis was gone.</p>
<p>“Well?” Rhea finally asked. She waited another moment and then frowned. “It was supposed to be but a step away. What could possibly be missing?”</p>
<p>The goddess. The goddess was missing. I almost wanted to laugh. I didn’t know what Rhea had been expecting and was afraid to ask, but I was not divine.</p>
<p>Dimitri suddenly whipped around. “Halt! Reveal yourself!”</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor and a man with short, dark brown hair and a cruel looking face appeared at the other end of the chamber, flanked by a retinue of soldiers.</p>
<p>The man laughed. “Don’t move, any of you! If you move, your lives will be forfeit! Thank you ever so much for guiding us this far. The Imperial army will now take possession of everything in the Holy Tomb!”</p>
<p>The rest of the Blue Lions had gathered defensively around us.</p>
<p>“Why is the Imperial army here?” Dedue demanded.</p>
<p>“This can’t be…” Ingrid’s shock was plain on her face. “How did they get into Garreg Mach?”</p>
<p>Sylvain glared at the intruders. “Even the Flame Emperor is here. That can only mean…”</p>
<p>“The Flame Emperor is connected to the empire. What do you know,” Felix finished for him.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s hands were clenched tightly around his lance. “I never imagined you’d have the nerve to return here. What are you after, Flame Emperor?”</p>
<p>My thoughts drifted to the last time we’d seen the Flame Emperor. Only Dimitri and I had been there. And we’d learned that the figure before us was our enemy.</p>
<p>“Is it not obvious?” the Flame Emperor asked in an arrogant tone. “The Holy Tomb contains great power. The power to rule all of Fódlan.”</p>
<p>“And to attain that power, you’ll trample anything that stands in your way. Just like you did in Duscur!” Dimitri’s voice rose and echoed across the chamber. I could almost feel his rage reverberating around us.</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor shook his head. “I had nothing to do with that.” He turned and gestured to the soldiers standing behind him. “Quickly, retrieve the Crest Stones! Kill for them if you must.”</p>
<p>Rhea’s voice rang out in response, her tone menacing, “Insolence! You will atone for the sin of trampling on this holy resting place!” She turned to me. “Professor. Destroy these villainous traitors who dare dishonor our creator!”</p>
<p>I drew the Sword of the Creator from my side, but I was not doing this for Rhea. I was doing this to destroy the one who had taken my father from me, who had taken Dimitri’s family from him.</p>
<p>“I will not allow such violence from the Empire! Strike down the rebels and protect the Holy Tomb!” Rhea commanded the Blue Lions.</p>
<p>“The Crest Stones are in the caskets! Open every last one of them!” the brown-haired Imperial commander yelled.</p>
<p>Rhea’s expression turned grim. “The Holy Tomb must not be desecrated! Protect as many of the Crest Stones as you can!”</p>
<p>“What could be gained from desecrating these tombs and disgracing the dead?!” Dimitri demanded angrily as we moved to advance through the chamber, the students spreading out to try to reach the caskets before the enemy soldiers could.</p>
<p>“Take away the Crest Stones. All of them,” the Flame Emperor ordered.</p>
<p>“That is enough!” Rhea bit out in response. “Do you even know what those stones are?!”</p>
<p>I didn’t know what they were, but dread began to coil in my gut as I remembered something from the day my father had died. The Demonic Beasts we’d encountered had been students, and I recalled seeing stones embedded in the heads of the beasts. Almost like the stone within the Lance of Ruin which had consumed Miklan. I didn’t know what the Crest Stones were and why they were here, but I had the creeping fear that the Imperial army wanted the stones from the Holy Tomb to unleash more monsters. <i>The power to rule all of Fódlan.</i></p>
<p>The rest of the Blue Lions were doing their best to protect the caskets, but there were too many Imperial soldiers to protect them all. Those numbers were at least beginning to thin as Dimitri and I advanced on the Imperial commander and the Flame Emperor.</p>
<p>The commander rushed at me then. “Keep going!” I ordered Dimitri. He did not need to be told twice, not with his enemy before him.</p>
<p>“I’m told it’s fine to kill those who resist,” the commander said with a delighted grin on his face. “Now then, how shall I cook you?”</p>
<p>Rage burned through me at his words. Building up and scorching its way through my veins as that ancient power I’d felt when Sothis and I merged began to stir.</p>
<p>“Wait… No!” the commander yelled, staring at my hands.</p>
<p>I looked down and realized that my rage wasn’t just scorching through me, but it was burning in my hands, flames writhing in my grip. I’d never had a drop of magic, but now, I felt it coursing and surging through me. I looked back up at the commander and felt a grin spread across my lips. “Now then, how shall I cook you?”</p>
<p>“I was just following orders! I just…”</p>
<p>I didn’t let him finish as I threw my hands out in front of me and wreathed the commander in flames. His screams echoed around the chamber as he burned alive, as his skin began to melt from his bones. I saw Dimitri glance back for a split second before he swung his lance at the Flame Emperor.</p>
<p>Dimitri and the Flame Emperor were exchanging words as they clashed, but I was too far away to hear what they were. Dimitri started to lunge forward, but the Flame Emperor’s attention turned to me as I reached them.</p>
<p>“You are the one person I did not wish to make an enemy of…” the Flame Emperor said.</p>
<p>But I didn’t care. They’d become my enemy long before this moment. I didn’t say anything as I whipped the Sword of the Creator out in front of me, the point flying towards their head.</p>
<p>The tip slammed into their helmet, knocking the Flame Emperor back several more steps, and the mask covering their face clattered to the ground at my feet. Dimitri and I stared ahead and silence filled the room as the Flame Emperor retreated back farther, several soldiers falling into place at his side--at her side. Because we were staring at Edelgard.</p>
<p>Laughter broke the silence. It started as a low chuckle, and then Dimitri threw his head back as it turned hysterical. “Is this some kind of twisted joke?!” he spit out at his stepsister.</p>
<p>I suddenly realized why he’d been so distraught when he retrieved the Flame Emperor’s dagger that night. <i>I thought the dagger could help her cut a path to the future she dreamed of.</i> I knew why I had thought the dagger looked familiar. She’d wielded it when I had saved her from the bandit the day we met.</p>
<p>Edelgard simply stared at him. Dimitri adjusted his grip on his lance and started to step forward. He stepped on the red and white mask on the ground and twisted his foot, shattering it beneath his boot.</p>
<p>I couldn’t help but reach for him as the weight of the betrayal hit me, but he shoved my hand away and continued forward, never tearing his eyes from Edelgard. He stopped a short way away from where she stood flanked by soldiers. “I’ve been looking for you… I will take that head from your shoulders and hang it from the gates of Enbarr!” he screamed and charged forward.</p>
<p>Four of the soldiers flanking Edelgard ran forward to meet him, but he leapt in the air and swung his lance wide, knocking all four of them to the ground. He lunged forward, throwing his lance at Edelgard. Her eyes widened as the blade of the lance grazed the side of her helmet and crashed into the wall behind her.</p>
<p>Two more soldiers rushed at Dimitri. He knocked the first to the ground with a punch to the gut. He grabbed the second by the helmet and shoved them down, slamming his fist into them over and over as their chest caved in.</p>
<p>“Stop right there!” Another soldier charged at Dimitri, swinging their own lance at him. Dimitri, despite not bothering to draw the sword or dagger at his side, was unfazed. He caught the soldier by the face as they neared and blood splattered across his arm and face as he squeezed. As he crushed the soldier’s skull in his grip. He looked up at Edelgard, now left without any guards, and grinned.</p>
<p>“Before I break your neck, there is one thing I must ask you,” he said to her.</p>
<p>“Stay out of my way,” Edelgard bit back.</p>
<p>I began to silently approach. She wasn’t in a position to be talking back. If Dimitri didn’t kill her, I would.</p>
<p>“I don’t recall giving you permission to speak. Answer my question. That is all you have left to do,” Dimitri said bitterly. “Flame Emperor… no. Edelgard. Tell me now. Why did you cause such a tragedy?”</p>
<p>She glared at him in silence.</p>
<p>“You killed your own mother, and yet you haven’t even had the decency to stop and consider the reasons behind your actions. Have you?!” he demanded.</p>
<p>“I already told you. I had nothing to do with that,” she responded coldly.</p>
<p>Dimitri let out a bark of laughter. “It was foolish to think I could reason with a lowly beast.”</p>
<p>“Your Majesty! Now!” Two soldiers appeared at her side, placing themselves between her and Dimitri.</p>
<p>As I reached Dimitri’s side she glanced between us and a deep frown appeared on her lips, just like it had after the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. “Professor… I wish you had chosen me. Together, we could have accomplished great things.”</p>
<p>I stared at her. All this time, I had thought Edelgard was jealous of me for taking the attention of her stepbrother. It dawned on me as she spoke that she had not been jealous of me at all--she had been jealous of Dimitri for commanding <i>my</i> attention. Dimitri, who was trembling with rage as she spoke.</p>
<p>Red light flashed beside her and Hubert appeared. “We were able to secure a good number of Crest Stones, despite this interruption, Your Majesty.”</p>
<p>“Come, Hubert!” she commanded, and then they both disappeared in the same flash of red light.</p>
<p>“To flee is futile, wicked girl,” Rhea hissed after them. “The Church of Seiros will raise its entire army against you, until you have been captured and punished! You have defiled the Holy Tomb, dishonored the goddess, and humiliated your brethren. That crime will never be erased, even if you burn in the eternal flames, and spill all of your blood into the goddess’ soil!”</p>
<p>Rhea reached my side. “Come, Professor. Let us return and decide upon our next course of action.”</p>
<p>I nodded mutely and she left. But I didn’t move from where I stood beside Dimitri.</p>
<p>He let out a pained grunt.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe it. Edelgard… Are you okay?” I finally asked. It was a stupid question, and I was a fool who had never been good at offering words of comfort. A fool who never knew what to say or how to behave, even now when all I wanted to do was reach out to him.</p>
<p>“We weren’t able to defeat her,” he said, glaring at the ground.</p>
<p>“Your Highness…” Dedue had made it to his side.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked up, staring at the spot where Edelgard had disappeared from. “I will kill Edelgard. With my own hands. I swear it!” Then he turned to face me. His voice was calmer when he spoke next, “Let’s return to the monastery, Professor. It is clear what must be done.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“I cannot believe it…” Seteth said, shaking his head at me as we stood in Rhea’s audience chamber. “Let us recount the situation as it stands, Professor. After you returned from the Holy Tomb… The Adrestian Empire declared war upon the Church of Seiros, as well as our allies.”</p>
<p>“Declared war?” I repeated in disbelief. There hadn’t been a real war in hundreds of years.</p>
<p>Seteth nodded. “Edelgard demanded her own father relinquish the throne, and then assumed the position of emperor. She has deemed the Church of Seiros to be an evil of this world, and is calling upon the people of Fódlan to help her tear it down. I must discuss our response with the archbishop after the knights return from their investigation. Until then, watch over the students. See that they remain calm.”</p>
<p>If I was being honest, I didn’t know how I felt about the Church of Seiros. They certainly provided a lot of good to the continent in terms of offering sanctuary and encouraging good acts. Mercedes herself had revealed to me that she lived in the church in Faerghus for ten years and that had led to her piety. But Rhea frightened me, just as she had frightened my father. I did know one thing though: I would never, ever forgive Edelgard for what she had done.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I’d gathered the Blue Lions in the classroom after hearing the news from Seteth.</p>
<p>“Professor. The Empire has declared war on the Church of Seiros,” Dedue said.</p>
<p>I nodded in confirmation.</p>
<p>“We knew this day would come, sooner or later,” Sylvain admitted.</p>
<p>“What’s going to happen?!” Annette demanded.</p>
<p>“We need more information.” I didn’t have the words to comfort her.</p>
<p>“We can’t afford to be optimistic,” Ingrid said grimly. “It’s entirely possible the Kingdom will be invaded.”</p>
<p>“Settle yourself, Ingrid,” Sylvain said calmly. His usual flirtatious bluster was gone. “We need to carefully consider our options.”</p>
<p>“We can’t just act rashly. That will only make things worse,” Ashe agreed.</p>
<p>Dedue turned to the prince. “Once we’ve ascertained the situation, we must return to Fhirdiad. Your Highness…”</p>
<p>Dimitri simply glared ahead.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>Dimitri hadn’t been sleeping well. And it didn’t matter if Dedue or even his professor urged him to sleep, it was a wasted effort. His headaches were growing steadily worse and he laid awake at night dwelling on the Flame Emperor’s dagger, on the enemies surrounding him, with the dead a chorus around him.</p>
<p>What had become his usual sleep aid was failing him. The previously satisfying finish now left him feeling sick and hollow as he thought of just how unworthy he was, how filthy he was for pleasuring himself to her divine image. But even if she had risen far above him, he still wanted to worship her body just as much as he wanted to worship her.</p>
<p>It was this inability to sleep that had sent him wandering at night, where he caught sight of movement and saw his professor standing before the grave that Jeralt had been laid to rest in. He didn’t mean to invade a private moment, but he found himself standing and watching her until she finally began to ascend the steps, holding his gaze.</p>
<p>But as she reached the top where he stood, the sight of blood made him freeze. Her arm and her hand were a mess with it. It was crusted all down her wrist from a horizontal slash across her forearm, and her knuckles were sliced up and torn.</p>
<p>He caught her wrist as she passed by, staring at the wounds. The wounds that she had not had earlier that day, and wounds that she would not have gotten unless she had left the monastery for some reason, or… if she had inflicted them herself. Rage and terror and heartache warred within him to the point where he didn’t trust his voice to remain steady if he tried to speak.</p>
<p>So he wordlessly tugged her along with him, and she did not object as he led her to the training grounds. She waited as he went to retrieve a wet cloth and bandages. And she did not protest as he began to slowly wipe away the blood.</p>
<p>“I don’t have any magic to heal you, so I’m afraid this will have to do,” he told her, finally breaking the silence.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to drag me to Manuela?” she asked.</p>
<p>She’d requested that he not do so when she was ill, and he had not forgotten. And with the nature of the injury before him, he didn’t think she felt like explaining to anyone. “No. I have a feeling you don’t want to deal with her questioning.”</p>
<p>She nodded and said nothing.</p>
<p>When the blood had all been wiped clean, he dropped the cloth on the ground and picked up the bandages. “I’m sorry for taking so long,” he said quietly. Delicate tasks were always difficult if not outright impossible for him, and the last thing he wanted to do was press too hard on her wound and cause her more pain. “Perhaps because of my strength, I have always been rather clumsy. I always end up breaking things that are precious…” And there was nothing more precious in his life than her.</p>
<p>He wrapped her forearm and her knuckles as gently as he could and then took her by the wrist and walked her back to her room. He dropped her wrist, but he couldn’t stop himself from taking her unbandaged hand in his own. “You’re still you. Please don’t ever do this again,” he begged her. The idea that she had inflicted such harm upon herself made his heart ache so badly that she may as well have sliced it open rather than her flesh.</p>
<p>She just nodded. He was about to drop her hand and leave, even though he wanted nothing more than to stay by her side. He felt more at peace in her presence than he had in a long time, despite how undeserving he felt to stand before her.</p>
<p>“I won’t be able to sleep,” she said softly.</p>
<p>He understood. He’d been out in the first place because he couldn’t sleep, and he doubted that sleep would find him if he returned to his room.</p>
<p>“Will you… walk with me?” she asked.</p>
<p>He would follow her anywhere. He nodded. And selfishly, he refused to let go of her hand as they walked. They walked to the field where the first mock battle had been held just after she’d started as his professor. He’d been both captivated and unnerved by her then, but it was nothing compared to the way he was enthralled by her now.</p>
<p>They sat side by side and Dimitri reveled in the feel of her leaning against him.</p>
<p>Her focus was on the winter sky, her breath misting in the air in front of her. “The stars are beautiful, aren’t they?” she breathed.</p>
<p>“Yes, they are,” he responded quietly. But he wasn’t looking at the stars. He was looking at her. The Fell Star, she’d been called, and he was certain that she was the most radiant star of them all. “Are you cold?” he asked as he felt her shiver against him.</p>
<p>“A little. But I’m alright.”</p>
<p>He reached for his cape, quickly unfastening it from his shoulder and draping it around her. “Is that better?” he asked as she finally dropped her eyes from the sky to focus on him.</p>
<p>She nodded and leaned in closer. Her focus did not return to the sky, instead her head slumped against his shoulder as her eyes drifted shut and her breathing gradually slowed.</p>
<p>He could’ve sat there all night, but it was worry about her catching a cold that finally drove him to take her in his arms. She made a small sound as he lifted her, but when he looked down, her eyes remained closed as she nuzzled her head against his chest and she did not wake.</p>
<p>Dimitri was grateful for his immense strength when he reached her door, for it made it easy to shift her into one arm and open the door with the other. His heart fell when he beheld the scene that awaited him on the other side. There were shards of mirror scattered across the floor, some of them bloodied, the clear source of her torn up knuckles.</p>
<p>If only he were better with his words, if only there were some way for her to see how she looked through his eyes.</p>
<p>He pulled his cape off of her and set her on her bed with a heavy sigh. She still did not stir--she must have been exhausted. He was exhausted too, but he knew sleep was a fruitless endeavor.</p>
<p>Unlike when she had been ill and he had to remove all of her armor, he was relieved that the only thing he had to do now was slide off her boots and then pull the sheets of her bed over her resting form.</p>
<p>He then set about cleaning up the broken mirror as quietly as he could. When he was finished, there was one more thing he had to do before he would leave her for the night. It was an errand that sent him to the greenhouse, retrieving the same flowers that he had the day she’d been ill, and leaving them in a glass of water on her desk.</p>
<p>Dimitri hesitated for a moment as he took one last glance at her. As softly as he could, he ran a hand across her forehead, just as he had when he’d checked her for a fever before. “Sleep well, Byleth,” he murmured, and then he left her.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Lady Rhea had taken them into a massive underground room. She led both him and his professor to the end of the room where a giant stone throne sat. “This is where the goddess who created this world was laid to rest, along with her children. It is said that our creator, the goddess Sothis, sat upon this very throne. Professor… Do you recognize this throne?” the archbishop asked.</p>
<p>He shouldn’t have been shocked after having seen his professor cut a wound through the very sky to return from the darkness, but it was still enough of a revelation that it cut through the pain pounding in his head when she quietly said, “I do.”</p>
<p>“So long… I have waited so very long for this day. Sit upon the throne,” Lady Rhea directed. “I have no doubt you will be gifted a revelation from the goddess.”</p>
<p>Dimitri found himself holding his breath as his professor stepped forward and sat upon the throne. And as they waited and nothing happened, he found himself letting out that breath in relief. If she’d truly had a revelation, he knew that he would never be able to reach for her again. But now there was a chance.</p>
<p>Lady Rhea, on the other hand, was not pleased. “Well? It was supposed to be but a step away. What could possibly be missing?”</p>
<p>The sound of movement on the other end of the chamber drew Dimitri’s attention as he whirled. “Halt! Reveal yourself!”</p>
<p>And then the Flame Emperor himself appeared, along with a commander and a battalion of soldiers.</p>
<p>“Don’t move, any of you!” the commander ordered with a laugh. “If you move, your lives will be forfeit. Thank you ever so much for guiding us this far. The Imperial army will now take possession of everything in the Holy Tomb!”</p>
<p>“Why is the Imperial army here?” Dedue asked as he and the rest of the Blue Lions gathered around Dimitri and his professor.</p>
<p>Ingrid was staring ahead with wide eyes. “This can’t be… How did they get into Garreg Mach?”</p>
<p>“Even the Flame Emperor is here,” Sylvain said. “That can only mean…”</p>
<p>It was Felix who finished his thought, “The Flame Emperor is connected to the Empire. What do you know.”</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor. His enemy. “I never imagined you’d have the nerve to return here. What are you after, Flame Emperor?” Dimitri demanded.</p>
<p>“Is it not obvious? The Holy Tomb contains great power. The power to rule all of Fódlan,” The Flame Emperor asserted boldly.</p>
<p>And for such a selfish goal as conquering those who did not wish to be conquered… Dimitri could feel his rage building, scorching through his veins as his blood began to boil. “And to attain that power, you’ll trample anything that stands in your way. Just like you did in Duscur!”</p>
<p>“I had nothing to do with that,” the Flame Emperor responded with a shake of his head. An obvious lie. “Quickly, retrieve the Crest Stones! Kill for them if you must.”</p>
<p>“Insolence! You will atone for the sin of trampling on this holy resting place! Professor. Destroy these villainous traitors who dare dishonor our creator!” Lady Rhea ordered his professor, her voice trembling with fury.</p>
<p>His professor drew her sword, but Dimitri didn’t think she needed the archbishop’s order to take out the Flame Emperor. Because she had been there too, and she knew the Flame Emperor was responsible for their suffering. And she would want to destroy the Flame Emperor just as he did, because deep down, they were the same.</p>
<p>Lady Rhea turned to the remaining Blue Lions. “I will not allow such violence from the Empire. Strike down the rebels and protect the Holy Tomb!”</p>
<p>The Imperial commander was directing his troops, “The Crest Stones are in the caskets! Open every last one of them!”</p>
<p>“The Holy Tomb must not be desecrated! Protect as many of the Crest Stones as you can!” Lady Rhea called out.</p>
<p>“What could be gained from desecrating these tombs and disgracing the dead?!” Dimitri questioned as his fury continued to rise. It wasn’t enough to just trample over innocent lives, the Flame Emperor insisted on trying to take from the dead even beyond their lives?!</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor was unfazed, barking out their own order, “Take away the Crest Stones. All of them.”</p>
<p>“That is enough!” Rhea seethed. “Do you even know what those stones are?!”</p>
<p>Dimitri didn’t care what they were. There was nothing that could excuse the violation of the dead in such a way, nothing that could excuse anything that the Flame Emperor had done.</p>
<p>He and his professor advanced together towards their enemy until the Imperial commander moved to intercept them, rushing towards his professor.</p>
<p>“Keep going!” she urged him. Just as Glenn and his father urged him. So he did not falter, he continued moving forward.</p>
<p>He had almost reached the Flame Emperor when he chanced a glance back at his professor. She was standing with her hands held out in front of her, wildfire roaring across her palms and a grin just as wild as the flames themselves stretched across her perfect lips. As the commander before her was consumed in the blaze, screaming as his flesh turned molten and his bones charred. She was divine, but she was equally wicked. Goddess, he loved her.</p>
<p>The ferocity of his feelings had him only feeling more enraged as he turned his attention back to the Flame Emperor and swung and locked his lance against his enemy’s axe.</p>
<p>“Do not try to say that you have forgotten… Do know just how many people died in Duscur?” he seethed, as those who died in Duscur stared on, watching the fight.</p>
<p>The Flame Emperor shot back a flippant remark, “Why bother with this? Stay silent and fight.”</p>
<p>“So, you want to turn your eyes away from the lives you have trampled? Dastard! You are a monster. The lowliest beast I have ever known,” Dimitri hissed at the Flame Emperor as he thrust forward, causing his enemy to stagger back.</p>
<p>He was about to move forward to strike again when his professor reached his side, drawing the focus of the Flame Emperor, who spoke to her, “You are the one person I did not wish to make an enemy of…”</p>
<p>His professor did not respond with words, she responded with her blade, the tip of her sword whipping out and smashing into the Flame Emperor’s helmet and sending their enemy staggering back.</p>
<p>The red and white mask clattered to the floor at their feet, and unmasked, Dimitri’s suspicions were confirmed as he stared at Edelgard, his stepsister, the only family he had left, who was busy staring at his professor as soldiers gathered at her side.</p>
<p>He’d suspected it the moment he’d retrieved her dagger--the dagger that he had once given her. But to have it confirmed… to watch his stepmother stare at her own daughter who had been a part of her demise… He didn’t know when he’d started laughing.</p>
<p>“Is this some kind of twisted joke?!” he demanded.</p>
<p>His stepsister’s attention finally turned to him from his professor, finally giving him the basest courtesy of even acknowledging his existence. Only once he had her attention did he step forward, easily crushing the stupid mask she’d used to hide her true face beneath his foot. Just as he would crush her beneath his feet. Just as he would crush anyone who got in his way under his feet.</p>
<p>His professor reached for him, but he pushed her hand away. Not even she would get in his way of this. Because this was not just for him, this was for her too. He would crush the one responsible for taking away both of their families. He would fulfill his promise to Jeralt and protect Byleth from Edelgard, and only once that was done would he return and embrace her.</p>
<p>With his ultimate enemy before him, unmasked at last, it was not despair that filled him, but rather euphoria. A chance to finally clear away the regrets of the dead. He found himself grinning as he declared to Edelgard, “I’ve been looking for you… I will take that head from your shoulders and hang it from the gates of Enbarr!” There could be no greater decoration for the gates of the Imperial capital.</p>
<p>As he rushed towards her, four of the soldiers guarding his stepsister charged at him. It didn’t matter if it was four or forty or four-hundred. He jumped and lashed out with his lance, not bothering to try and restrain his strength as he knocked all four to the ground.</p>
<p>With them out of the way, he drew his arm back and thrust his lance from his grip. And watched as it just barely missed its mark, the head of his stepsister.</p>
<p><i>Do not just wield a weapon,</i> be <i>a weapon.</i> Isn’t that what his professor had said the first day they’d sparred? It didn’t matter that his lance had missed. He didn’t need the sword or the ornate dagger at his side. He was a weapon.</p>
<p>It was with this thought in mind that he lashed out at the two soldiers who came towards him next, eager for their deaths as he crushed them beneath his fists.</p>
<p>Edelgard’s last soldier rushed at him, crying out, “Stop right there!” But Dimitri would not be the one who was stopping. It was the soldier who stopped as Dimitri caught his face in a hand, the soldier who died as he closed his hand into a fist and felt hot blood splatter across his face, the soldier whose skull was crushed in his grip.</p>
<p>He grinned at his stepsister, left unguarded now, nobody left in his way. “Before I break your neck, there is one thing I must ask you.” He gently shook his hand, brain matter and shards of bone falling from his grip. It was a courtesy, really, to clean his hand of some of the gore before he used that same hand to kill her.</p>
<p>“Stay out of my way,” Edelgard snarled at him.</p>
<p>“I don’t recall giving you permission to speak,” he snarled back. She would do well not to speak until he gave her the question, or else he would take more time than he needed to when killing her. “Answer my question. That is all you have left to do. Flame Emperor… no. Edelgard. Why did you cause such a tragedy?” Why did everyone he loved have to die?</p>
<p>Rather than talking back now that she had permission to, she just glared at him.</p>
<p>Her silence only fueled his rage. “You killed your own mother, and yet you haven’t had the decency to stop and consider the reasons behind your actions. Have you?!” His stepmother, her mother, who was standing behind him with eyes that were demanding answers.</p>
<p>“I already told you. I had nothing to do with that,” Edelgard replied sharply.</p>
<p>She was such a terrible liar that Dimitri couldn’t help but laugh. “It was foolish to think I could reason with a lowly beast.”</p>
<p>But before he could wrap his hands around her neck, two soldiers appeared between him and his family. “Your Majesty! Now!”</p>
<p>Edelgard’s attention shifted away from him as his professor reached his side and a frown creased her lips. “Professor… I wish you had chosen me. Together, we could have accomplished great things.”</p>
<p>If Dimitri had thought he was enraged before, it was nothing compared to the wrath that now flared up within him. Edelgard had already taken so much from him, she would not take his professor too. She would <i>not</i> take the woman that he loved.</p>
<p>Hubert appeared at her side in a flash of red light. “We were able to secure a good number of Crest Stones, despite this interruption, Your Majesty,” he reported. A pathetic dog, who did nothing but follow her orders.</p>
<p>Edelgard gave them one last look as she ordered, “Come, Hubert!” And then they both disappeared, her neck slipping out of his grasp.</p>
<p><i>You failed,</i> his father hissed at him.</p>
<p>Glenn echoed the sentiment, <i>Useless.</i></p>
<p>A chorus of voices rising around him, joining together to where they were indistinguishable. He didn’t hear the archbishop’s words. He barely heard anything as the chorus rose to a deafening, painful crescendo.</p>
<p>It was only his professor’s voice that managed to cut through. “I can’t believe it. Edelgard… Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“We weren’t able to defeat her,” he bit out. A mistake he would not make again. He wouldn’t bother with questioning, he’d just take her head from her shoulders, the way his father’s head had been.</p>
<p>“Your Highness…” Dedue said from his side.</p>
<p>“I will kill Edelgard. With my own hands. I swear it!” he promised the dead who were demanding it. He turned his gaze to his professor. “Let’s return to the monastery, Professor. It is clear what must be done.”</p>
<p>Things had become quite simple, actually. All he had to do was kill Edelgard.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. To War</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions prepare to defend Garreg Mach from the Imperial army.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights.</p>
<p>This week is a biweekly update! I will post a chapter on Friday that covers some of the timeskip. I should have a better idea by then if I'll be able to pull off another biweekly update next week as well. (Side note - biweekly is a terrible word because it can mean every two weeks or twice a week, I'm using it as twice a week here.)</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Beast - 8 Graves<br/>I'm Not a Vampire (Revamped) - Falling in Reverse</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>“Unforgivable… I cannot fathom that the Adrestian Empire would embark on such a violent course of action,” Rhea seethed as I stood before her and Seteth in her audience chamber.</p>
<p>“The fault is my own. I failed to see the wickedness within Edelgard’s heart,” Seteth lamented.</p>
<p>I had failed to see it as well. I couldn’t help but think back to the time she had come to watch me practice with the Sword of the Creator, when she had mentioned that the future of everything depended on her. But if this was the future she intended, then I could not allow it. “What is her objective?” I asked.</p>
<p>“There is no question on that front,” Seteth said, turning to me. “She clearly intends to conquer all of Fódlan. And in order to achieve her own selfish ambitions, she plotted with ill-meaning strangers and defiled the Holy Tomb.” He paused. “Or perhaps her ambitions are even greater than we know. Perhaps she is planning to make herself a false deity by demonizing the Church of Seiros…”</p>
<p>She had plotted with ill-meaning strangers who had killed my father. I clenched my hands into fists.</p>
<p>“Adrestia received its very name through a divine oracle. To injure the goddess is a sin most foul that shall not be forgiven, nor forgotten. We must stop the Empire… and quickly,” Rhea stated.</p>
<p>I did at least agree with her on that.</p>
<p>“I have returned, Rhea,” Shamir announced as she entered the chamber and came to stand beside me.</p>
<p>“Welcome back, Shamir. Were you able to discern the Empire’s movements?” Rhea asked.</p>
<p>“Their main troops are marching toward Garreg Mach. It is said that they will join forces with Edelgard’s army and arrive within a week,” Shamir reported.</p>
<p>“A week? That is not enough time!” Seteth’s panic was clear in his eyes. “It will require all of our efforts just to prepare our defenses before then. We must send notice to all surrounding villages at once. We must order the residents of Garreg Mach to flee for their lives.”</p>
<p>“It will be done,” Shamir responded with a nod and then departed.</p>
<p>Rhea was silent for a long moment. “Byleth… listen closely,” she finally said. “If our enemy invades the monastery, I will have no choice but to stand upon the battlefield. If something happens to me… I am entrusting my sacred duties to you.”</p>
<p>I didn’t want them. “Why me?”</p>
<p>“You must have guessed it by now. The truth of who you are. Or perhaps I should say, your lost memories are surely beginning to return. I have acted all these long years as a mere proxy for you. But the duty is yours and yours alone. Only you can lead the people of Fódlan,” Rhea responded.</p>
<p>She was wrong. I knew who Sothis was. Some part of me had always known, but feeling that primal, ancient thing that sometimes stirred within me, I knew it in my bones. But I was not Sothis, even if she had gifted me her power. And the responsibility that Rhea threatened to place upon my shoulders… it terrified me.</p>
<p>But I nodded, and then I fled from the chamber.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A week, only a week until the Imperial army would be at the gates of the monastery, with Edelgard herself leading them. Classes were canceled, there was nothing to do but prepare for war. There would be no final exams, the students would either survive the coming battle or they would not.</p>
<p>I’d once longed for the simplicity of my life as a mercenary, feeling ill-suited to the task of being a professor. Now, I longed for the simplicity of being a professor rather than preparing to lead troops to war.</p>
<p>If I’d thought everyone was on edge the previous months, it was nothing compared to the atmosphere that permeated the monastery now.</p>
<p>Many of the Black Eagles were distraught, wondering how they had missed Edelgard’s plans, wondering how their families were faring, wondering if their families might be coming with the marching army. I didn’t have any words of comfort to offer them.</p>
<p>Claude lamented our blindness, how easily Edelgard executed her plans. Plans that she must have had since before I’d even retrieved the Sword of the Creator, plans that we didn’t notice because we were busy with things like the ball and the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. She’d likely already been planning to go to war when we had the feast with all of the houses after the battle.</p>
<p>Hanneman confirmed my fears about the Crest Stones. He didn’t know why the Crest Stones had been hidden away in the Holy Tomb nor how they had transformed Miklan or the students into Demonic Beasts, but he asserted just as I had dreaded that the Empire was likely intending to create and unleash Demonic Beasts.</p>
<p>Gilbert stopped me and begged me to keep an eye on Dimitri and Annette again, expressing that he wished to return to the Kingdom if he survived the war, to return to where he could protect the things he needed to. I didn’t tell him that the things we needed to protect were the same, but I did promise him that I would do everything in my power to ensure the safety of both them and the rest of the Blue Lions.</p>
<p>Seteth was determined to do everything he could to protect the monastery and assured me that he would do everything to assist me with my new responsibilities. Even if the idea of my potential new responsibilities turned my blood to ice, I did appreciate his words, as we had grown closer over the year. But I was still surprised when he expressed that I’d earned the right to know and confided in me that Flayn was not his sister, but actually his daughter. They’d constructed the ruse of their relationship in an attempt to keep her identity secret due to the dangers of her rare blood--dangers that had still come to pass in Remire Village.</p>
<p>Flayn, gentle as she was, was understandably melancholy, lamenting that war appeared to be breaking out once again. She had been a great addition to the Blue Lions, but I couldn’t imagine the girl standing on a battlefield.</p>
<p>I didn’t want to imagine any of the Blue Lions on the battlefield, but some of them were holding up better than others. They all seemed concerned about the approaching battle and what the situation in the Kingdom might be like with war declared upon Faerghus as well as the church.</p>
<p>I barely saw Dimitri. He sparred at odd times and hardly interacted with anyone when he was around.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Felix joined me in sparring most days. We both seemed to find it easier to pass the time feeling like we were preparing to cut down our enemies. “You saw it too, didn’t you?” he asked as our practice swords crashed against each other. “The boar’s true nature.”</p>
<p>I had seen it. I had seen someone who craved blood the same way I did. Someone who had not flinched when he glanced back and saw me <i>enjoying</i> incinerating the Imperial commander. Someone who was a weapon, just like I was.</p>
<p>“He’s hidden his desire for revenge pretty well. But now it’s stirred up,” Felix continued.</p>
<p>He’d understood the moment I’d said I would kill Kronya, because he was the same as me. It was the first time since I’d started to understand the feelings in my heart that the prince actually felt within my reach. Someone who could see me rather than be tainted by me.</p>
<p>Felix frowned as the silence wore on. “Well, regardless. That girl’s starting an all-out war, isn’t she? But an enemy is an enemy, no matter who they are. Don’t let compassion for her get in your way.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to worry about that,” I assured him. Unlike the prince, I had never been accused of having a compassionate side.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The Imperial army was set to arrive the next day. It was reported to be a massive force and we would be hopelessly outnumbered. It was getting late, but I knew there was little chance of me getting sleep tonight. Not with the army’s arrival on the horizon. Not with the trepidation that transitioned closer to terror every time I closed my eyes.</p>
<p>It was easier to be doing something, to feel like I had some kind of control over the fate that awaited us the next day. It was with that goal in mind that I sat in the classroom, at a desk in the front--the same desk the prince had always sat at, poring over maps of the monastery’s outer gates, trying to think of anything that could give us an advantage.</p>
<p>Numbers. Numbers would give us an advantage, but that was one thing we did not have. We could potentially try to use the walls to our advantage, funneling the enemies into more manageable groups, but it wouldn’t matter once we factored in our own soldiers’ inevitable exhaustion.</p>
<p>I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn’t hear him. I didn’t know he was there until Dimitri’s chest was pressed up against my back, his arms wrapped around me, and his head was resting on my shoulder.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” I began, but the soft squeeze he gave me had my words dying in my throat. It was probably a good thing. Because with war fast approaching and the feelings in my heart that had only grown stronger since I had realized that the compassionate prince really was capable of understanding the vicious pieces of me, the words that had threatened to come loose were, <i>I love you.</i></p>
<p>“You’re the only one who understands,” he said quietly as he lifted his head, his breath hot against my neck.</p>
<p>It sent a chill through me as I realized I wanted his breath everywhere. And as I realized that I did understand. Just like he understood the savagery in me, I understood him. I understood that Edelgard had betrayed him, and I understood that only her blood could satisfy what she had done to both of us.</p>
<p>It was with that thought in mind that I turned to look at him. Even if I understood, I could see that it was tearing him apart. He was still pale, his eyes lined with deep shadows like he hadn’t slept well in weeks. But all of those thoughts vanished as he surged forward and pressed his lips against mine.</p>
<p>This kiss was not tender like the first one we’d shared. This kiss was desperate. This kiss was… hungry. And all I could do was give in to the fire that was starting to course through me as I kissed him back.</p>
<p>I shifted, turning my torso towards him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders. A satisfied rumble sounded from his throat as he pulled me closer against him. My lips parted against his and his tongue swept into my mouth.</p>
<p>I’d never been kissed before he had kissed me, and I’d definitely never been kissed like this before. I hadn’t been expecting the sweet taste of his mouth. I hadn’t been expecting the hunger that would build in me, the desire to <i>consume</i> him.</p>
<p>I leaned into him, and as I did so his hands moved from my back to my thighs, lifting me from the bench as he rose to his feet. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked us around the bench and set me back down on the edge of the desk, finally tearing his lips from mine as he did so.</p>
<p>But I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to feed the fire that was blazing through my soul at his touch. I tugged on his shoulders, bringing his lips back to mine.</p>
<p>“Byleth,” he breathed against my lips and then he was fiercely kissing me again. The sound of my name from him was enough to break me as I twined my fingers through the blonde hair at the back of his head.</p>
<p>He pressed against me, laying me back against the desk and weaving his own fingers into my hair. His hips ground against mine and just like the night in the training grounds, I could feel him through his pants. I didn’t want to just feel him there, I wanted to feel him everywhere, I wanted to feel him inside of me, as a part of me.</p>
<p>But as I pressed my hips back up into him, he pulled away from me, leaving me panting. He rested his forehead in the soft spot between my neck and my shoulder. “I’ll kill her… I’ll have that girl’s head. Just you wait… for my family and for Jeralt.”</p>
<p>And then he slipped out of my arms and left me lying on the desk by myself, staring at the ceiling as the fire roaring through me died down into cinders in the absence of his heat. I didn’t just love him… I burned for him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I’d been dreading this moment as much as I had been ready to just get it over with. Nothing would stop the army’s advance except for meeting them on the battlefield, and action felt better than sitting and waiting, listening to the worries of those around me.</p>
<p>“Listen up, everyone!” Alois called to the students--or were they soldiers now--and me. “The Imperial army is upon us. If you can fight, pick up a weapon! Everyone else, hurry up and evacuate! We have the goddess’ protection on our side. We have nothing to fear. Victory will be ours!”</p>
<p>The Golden Deer and the Blue Lions were both prepared to fight. The Black Eagles had opted to remain mostly neutral, uncertain about facing their own countrymen, and in some cases, like Caspar’s, perhaps their own families.</p>
<p>Catherine strode up to me. “Professor--no, sorry. I guess you’re not really a teacher anymore. Byleth. Are you ready?”</p>
<p>“Almost,” I responded. I wanted a chance to talk to the Blue Lions before we might never see each other again. This wasn’t a mission; this wasn’t even a battle with mercenaries--this was war.</p>
<p>“Well, hurry up,” Catherine retorted. “I don’t need to tell you that the situation is dire. We have some support from the local nobles, but the army we’re facing is immense. No matter how you look at it, we’re at a disadvantage. To make matters worse, the enemy is being led by Edelgard. Do not underestimate how extraordinary her abilities are.”</p>
<p>I would not. But she had once marveled at my own potential, potential that I would unleash against her. With that, Catherine and Alois left to make their own preparations.</p>
<p>“They’re here. At long last,” Dimitri breathed.</p>
<p>“It seems this will be a battle to remember. About time,” Felix said confidently.</p>
<p>“I’ll never give up, no matter how outnumbered we are. I’ll fight to the very end!” Ashe promised.</p>
<p>“Hm. I should have made a move on the Imperial princess before things got this far. It could have changed everything,” Sylvain said with a wink. But his smile did not meet his eyes.</p>
<p>“We have the goddess’ divine protection on our side,” Mercedes added serenely. “All that’s left is to try our best.”</p>
<p>Annette clasped her hands together in front of her. “All we can do is fight as best we can. Though… if I’m being honest, I’m really scared right now…”</p>
<p>“We can’t just hand over the Kingdom and the monastery,” Ingrid said fiercely. “We’ll stop her, no matter what it takes!”</p>
<p>Even as everyone worked themselves up to face the army advancing against us, Dedue looked at Dimitri. “Your Highness. You do not seem… well.”</p>
<p>I hadn’t seen him since the night before. And even then, even as I’d gotten a taste of what I wanted; he hadn’t seemed well. Which left me feeling guilty that I’d just greedily taken what he’d offered instead of seeing if he was alright.</p>
<p>Dimitri grinned. “Unwell, you say? What’s gotten into you? Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m so happy I can hardly contain myself. My father. My stepmother. My dear friends. They want her head. They want her life. They’ve whispered as much to me. And the chance to answer their pleas has arrived, at long last!”</p>
<p>I was so worried about him that I felt sick to my stomach. So afraid that I might lose the one thing I had left. “Don’t act rashly,” I tried to caution him. “We’re all in this together.”</p>
<p>He laughed darkly. “Of course, of course! But don’t mistake my intentions. Edelgard will die by my hand, and mine alone.” He smiled at me. “Let’s move, Professor. Even if it costs me my life, I won’t rest until I’ve crushed her skull in my bare hands!”</p>
<p>I believed him. I had believed him when he’d told me something similar the night before. And I understood, just as I’d understood then. Because Felix had been right when he had first warned me--there was a part of the prince and I, a part of the man that I loved and myself, that truly was the same. A part that was bloodthirsty. All I could do was try to safely deliver him across the battlefield to Edelgard as I led my students to war.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri had once claimed that in practice there was little difference between a battle and a war. That was partially true. The core of it didn’t change, the way it narrowed down to kill or be killed. But as I beheld the bleak situation before us and the grim expressions of our soldiers, I knew what the difference was--the difference was hope.</p>
<p>I found myself envious of those who had faith the goddess would deliver us from this disaster, for I knew she was gone. I knew there was no one and nothing that could save us, and it left me dangerously close to despair.</p>
<p>All I could do was lose myself in the carnage and continue cutting through the soldiers that advanced on us, continue pushing through to try and keep Dimitri in my sights as he charged towards the center in his search for Edelgard.</p>
<p>I’d been able to keep Dimitri in view until the Death Knight emerged from a battalion of soldiers ahead of me. “This battlefield is too chaotic… for us to kill each other upon…” he lamented as we clashed amid the soldiers battling around us.</p>
<p>With each blow we traded, Dimitri slipped farther from me. I grit my teeth. “Get out of my way!” I screamed and as I swung the Sword of the Creator out in front of me, it flared brilliantly with light that I hadn’t seen since I had cut through the sky with it. Now, the blade pierced through the stomach of the Death Knight.</p>
<p>“Ahh… delightful,” he chanted. His hand clenched his side where blood had begun to pour from the wound. “You are… perfection. But the time is not right… I will wait for the next opportunity…” And then he vanished before my eyes in a flash of light.</p>
<p>I threw myself back into the carnage, aiming to cut a path towards the center, to try and find the prince, when light flashed again and Hubert appeared in its wake. He studied me with a frown. “Lady Edelgard held you in such high esteem. In the end, however, it seems like you are nothing but a slave to your goddess.”</p>
<p>He raised his hand and sent a blast of dark magic at me. I cut through it with the Sword of the Creator. “The goddess is gone,” I admitted with a sharp laugh. I couldn’t be a slave to someone who was gone. But as I said the words, I could feel her power thrumming through me again, like it was waking up and starting to listen to <i>me</i>.</p>
<p>Lightning crackled at my fingertips. And somehow, the magic was instinctual to control. I raised my hand in the air, drawing the power from the sky. I could feel my hair lift off my shoulders as it began to gently waft around me.</p>
<p>Hubert’s eyes widened as he beheld the strike I was preparing for him, but then a grin flashed across his lips. “What you fail to appreciate is that we have, at our backs, a force you cannot hope to defeat.”</p>
<p>I didn’t want to hear it. He vanished as I clenched my hand into a fist and brought it down in front of me, pulling the thunderbolts down. Lightning flashed and crackled around me and a boom echoed across the battlefield as the blast crashed into the place that Hubert had stood. I may not have taken him out, but an entire squadron of soldiers fell before me, their bodies left as charred husks.</p>
<p>“By the goddess,” I heard one of the church’s soldiers say behind me. And in that moment, I knew that what I had just done was not the same as the Thunder spells cast by the students practicing magic. But I didn’t have time to dwell on it.</p>
<p>I raised my blade and plunged back into the fray.</p>
<p>It wasn’t hard to find Dimitri. All I had to do was follow the trail of bodies. I caught up to him just as he was reaching Edelgard. He glanced at me.</p>
<p>“You’re late,” he spit at her. “I… We are all tired of waiting. Now, let’s separate that sick head from your neck, shall we?”</p>
<p>She smirked at him. “You never were one for patience.”</p>
<p>But when she saw me, her smirk faltered as she frowned. “I wish you were someone whose heart could be swayed by my words and deeds. If it were so, I would have done anything to make you my ally.”</p>
<p>Dimitri turned away from Edelgard for a second, watching me carefully.</p>
<p>“Your words and deeds?” I hissed. “I will <i>never</i> forgive you.”</p>
<p>Something like approval flashed in Dimitri’s eyes as he turned back and lunged at Edelgard.</p>
<p>A soldier charged at Dimitri from the side, but I flung out the Sword of the Creator, catching them in the chest and leaving Dimitri free to face off against Edelgard. He was gaining the upper hand. It didn’t surprise me--they'd fought in several mock battles and she had never once bested him.</p>
<p>I watched as he angled his lance to the ground and slipped it behind her foot, just as he’d once done to me. He pulled it back towards him, sending her sprawling to the ground. As she fell, he wrenched her axe from her grasp and squeezed the handle, snapping the steel in two.</p>
<p>Her eyes widened and she scrambled back, but as she rose to her feet she was smiling. “You fought well. But now, your fight is over. Send in our reserve troops! And give my uncle the signal!” And then she vanished.</p>
<hr/>
<p>We’d bought enough time to regroup. I stood at the plateau overlooking the town below Garreg Mach, where an endless stream of Imperial soldiers marched towards the monastery.</p>
<p>Hubert was right--there was no hope against a force like that. No hope, except perhaps, the power of a god. I’d used it when I’d cut through the darkness and pierced the sky. I’d used it when I brought lightning crashing down on the squadron earlier. And maybe, just maybe, I could use it again. I gripped the hilt of the Sword of the Creator at my hip and started to step forward when a hand touched gently on my shoulder.</p>
<p>I was shocked to see Rhea walk past me. She turned back to look at me. “Everybody here, young and old, is in your hands. Try to listen carefully for the goddess’ voice…”</p>
<p>I couldn’t hear anything. And I knew in my silent heart that I never would again. But when I thought of the people that I so desperately wanted to see again, the ones that I wanted to protect, I hesitated. I finally took my hand off my sword. Rhea terrified me, deep in my soul, but she was going to give me a chance. I nodded.</p>
<p>She turned back to face the army marching towards us and I turned toward the monastery, hoping that she could buy me enough time to evacuate everyone.</p>
<p>Green light flared behind me. It was so like the light when Sothis had shown herself in the void that I chanced a glance back. A massive, white-scaled dragon stood where Rhea had been and launched itself into the sky with a roar.</p>
<p>I caught sight of Claude and Dimitri holding off approaching soldiers as students fled behind them. “Keep going!” I yelled at the students, motioning for others to follow them.</p>
<p>I stole another glance back towards the edge of the plateau where the monstrous dragon that was Rhea had landed amongst the soldiers. A beam of energy shot from her mouth, decimating soldiers and buildings alike. But then a hoard of Demonic Beasts descended upon her. She knocked two of them away, but then four leapt upon her.</p>
<p>There were too many. I looked between the fleeing students and Rhea’s struggling form. No matter what secrets she was hiding, no matter what she had done to me, I needed to help her if there was a chance of everyone escaping with their lives. I drew my sword and ran towards her.</p>
<p>I sent the blade crashing into one of the beasts, knocking it away. It slammed into the wall behind Rhea, the stone crumbling as the beast’s limp body fell into the ravine below along with debris from the wall. It bought Rhea enough time to grab the remaining beasts she was wrestling with and throw them to the ground.</p>
<p>She took off as more debris from the crumbling wall fell and then she landed before me. “Why did you come?” the dragon demanded in Rhea’s voice.</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to tell her we didn’t have time, that we had to go engage the army surging through the gates, but I stopped when I saw her lift her head and focus behind me. I turned and saw the dark mage who had prevented me from saving my father. A face I would never forget, for I had seen it over and over and over. He stood with a small force of soldiers behind him and when our eyes met, he grinned. </p>
<p>He brought his hands together, conjuring a sphere of dark energy that he thrust at me. I raised my sword to block it, but the force sent me flying backwards. I managed to regain my footing and skid to a stop a step away from the chasm the Demonic Beast’s body had fallen into after the wall had collapsed. But the ground under me was unstable, and I looked up in horror, meeting the mage’s eyes again as I realized what was happening.</p>
<p>The mage knew it too. “Time to fall, Fell Star.”</p>
<p>And then the ground beneath my feet crumbled and I fell.</p>
<p>A scream shattered through me as I plummeted into the abyss, plummeted to what was surely my doom. And as I plunged towards my death, I had two thoughts. I wished I had told Dimitri that I love him. And I wished I’d never stepped in to take that blow for Edelgard when we’d first met; I wished I’d let her die.</p>
<p>The impact came and excruciating pain erupted through my entire body. And then I fell into oblivion.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>He shouldn’t be here, he knew that, even as he made his way to the classroom that night. His head was pounding, and the cries of the dead were so loud that sometimes he could barely hear the world around him. Yet he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame, and he burned for her with such ferocity that he was sure the blaze would consume him entirely.</p>
<p>It was with a surge of satisfaction that he noted his professor sitting at <i>his</i> desk, like she belonged with him. Even as his thoughts warred, trying to reconcile both the pieces of her that were divine and the pieces of her that were ferocious like him.</p>
<p>She did not stir as he approached, she did not notice him until he dropped to his knees before her, the altar at which he worshipped. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back flush against his chest, and laid his forehead on her shoulder as he breathed her in.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” she said softly, but he tightened his arms around her and the words stopped. He didn’t want to hear the concern in her tone.</p>
<p>“You’re the only one who understands,” he breathed against her neck, his lips almost close enough to brush against the soft skin as he lifted his head. He’d watched her burn a man alive with a smile on her face, a demon fit to love a beast.</p>
<p>She turned to look at him, radiant and beautiful in every way. He would desecrate her, spoil her with his touch, but it didn’t stop him from leaning in to kiss her. And as their lips touched, the chorus around him muffled.</p>
<p>He was not gentle like he’d been the first time he kissed her. He <i>wanted</i> to desecrate her, to violate her. And she gave in against him, shifting in his arms to face towards him and wrapping her own arms around him. He growled as he pulled her closer to his chest, more the beast and less the man as he let his desire burn through him.</p>
<p>Her lips parted against his and he pushed his tongue in, invading her mouth as he wanted to invade the rest of her. To taint her just like him, so she couldn’t leave his side and slip out of reach again. He’d never lamented his lack of taste so fiercely, never wanted so desperately to know the flavor of something as he did her.</p>
<p>She did not try to slip away. She leaned into him eagerly, so eagerly that he found his hands settling on her thighs and lifting her effortlessly. Her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling her hips against his even as he finally broke the kiss and walked her around the bench to set her on the edge of the desk.</p>
<p>But she was just as hungry as he was, pulling him by the shoulders to bring his mouth back to hers. And he was not going to deny her. “Byleth,” he murmured as his lips met hers, and then he deepened the kiss, pressing his tongue into her mouth once again.</p>
<p>Her touch was almost enough to set him aflame as her hand moved across the back of his neck and her fingers wound into his hair.</p>
<p>He was going to consume her. He leaned into her, laying her down on the desk and twirling his fingers through the seafoam locks that spread around her head like a halo, like she was holy.</p>
<p>She <i>was</i> holy. And if he were a better man, he would not be here, grinding his throbbing cock against her hips. Her hips pressed back into his, and the cacophony of the fallen rose to a crescendo around him.</p>
<p><i>Unworthy,</i> Glenn hissed in his ear.</p>
<p>He reluctantly tore his lips from hers, settling his head in the supple skin between her neck and her shoulder. “I’ll kill her… I’ll have that girl’s head,” he promised her. “Just you wait… for my family and for Jeralt.”</p>
<p>And then he pulled away from her, even though the only thing he wanted to do was bury himself inside of her, sink into her skin and become a part of her--as if that might save him.</p>
<p>But he would deliver Edelgard’s head, and then the dead would finally vacate his own. And then, he could finally give in to his zealous craving.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri was elated as he stepped onto the battlefield, and he knew the dead were too, for he had another chance to take his stepsister’s head. And this time, he would not fail. Nothing would stop him from taking her life.</p>
<p>He relished the feel of it as his lance sliced through the Imperial soldiers in his way. Anyone who served her was complicit in her atrocities, deserving of a gruesome end that he did not have time to deliver.</p>
<p>The only thing that gave him pause was the crack that thundered across the battlefield and he turned in time to see lightning crash down from the sky into a squadron of Imperial soldiers. It was not a spell wielded by a mage--it was the rage of a goddess, retribution delivered upon the Empire.</p>
<p>He turned back to his search for Edelgard, renewed fervor in every swing of his lance, determination to echo that rage, that retribution, with his own. By the time he reached his stepsister, Byleth had caught up to him.</p>
<p>“You’re late,” he hissed at Edelgard. “I…” He paused as the dead around him cried out. “We are all tired of waiting. Now, let’s separate that sick head from your neck, shall we?”</p>
<p>He would savor the feel of her spinal column breaking, revel in the blood that spilled when he beheaded her just as his father had been beheaded.</p>
<p>But even with her death before her, his stepsister’s arrogant confidence did not falter. “You never were one for patience.”</p>
<p>Until her gaze settled on Byleth. “I wish you were someone whose heart could be swayed by my words and deeds. If it were so, I would have done anything to make you my ally.”</p>
<p>Byleth was <i>his</i>. He turned to look at her, to wait for her to confirm it. That she was his.</p>
<p>“Your words and deeds? I will <i>never</i> forgive you,” Byleth spit back.</p>
<p>She was perfection, refusing to even entertain his stepsister’s twisted words.</p>
<p>But he would entertain them--enough to punish her for having the audacity to utter them. He lunged at his stepsister as Byleth whipped her sword to the side, killing the soldier that had been attempting to interrupt him.</p>
<p>With each impact he traded with Edelgard, his fury grew, and with each impact, he watched her focus narrow in on the back and forth. Leaving him free to slip the blunt end of his lance behind her foot and pull it out from beneath her. He tore her axe from her grip and clenched his fist, splintering the steel in his grasp.</p>
<p>Finally, he could kill her. He started to step forward as her eyes widened and she retreated, but then that smile he detested crossed her lips. “You fought well. But now, your fight is over. Send in our reserve troops! And give my uncle the signal!”</p>
<p>And then Edelgard vanished again, his vengeance vanishing with it.</p>
<p><i>You failed again,</i> his father growled.</p>
<p>His free hand clenched tightly into a fist. He would not rest until he took her head.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A scream rang out across the battlefield. A scream that was loud enough to cut through the voices echoing endlessly in his head. It was a scream that made Dimitri freeze, a scream that he had never wanted to hear again as long as he lived. But unlike the anguish that had filled it the first time he’d heard it, this time it was filled with fear. A sound of absolute terror.</p>
<p>Following that scream came the terrible roar of the dragon--almost like the Immaculate One itself from the legends--that had appeared. The dragon launched itself into the sky and rushed at the oncoming army again.</p>
<p>But Dimitri didn’t care. He was running. Sprinting towards the sound, towards the approaching army, towards that scream. A section of the wall surrounding the town had collapsed, leaving a view to the chasm beneath. An Imperial soldier stood at the edge, peering down.</p>
<p>The soldier didn’t notice Dimitri until the point of his lance was already pressed into his throat.</p>
<p>“Where is she?” he hissed in the soldier’s ear.</p>
<p>“Her Majesty has already retreated.”</p>
<p>“Not that vile woman! Where is the professor? Where is Byleth?!”</p>
<p>The soldier’s lips twitched upward.</p>
<p>Dimitri threw the man to the ground and wrapped a hand around his neck. “Where is she?!”</p>
<p>“The woman who wields the Sword of the Creator? She fell,” the soldier finally said with a grin.</p>
<p><i>She fell.</i> The words slowly sunk in. The image of the soldier peering over the edge of the ravine burned into his vision. It couldn’t be true.</p>
<p>He didn’t know at what point he’d started screaming, echoing the cry that had sent him sprinting over here. He didn’t know at what point he’d started slamming his fist into the soldier’s face over and over and over. But at some point, Dedue was hauling him off of an unrecognizable mass of flesh and bone and steel. Dimitri’s own chest was slick with gore, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.</p>
<p>“Your Highness, it isn’t safe here. We need to leave,” Dedue insisted.</p>
<p>Dimitri shrugged him off and went to peer over the edge into the chasm. There was nothing but rubble at the bottom of the river. “No. We must find Byleth.”</p>
<p>Dedue hesitated. “Your Highness, nobody has seen her. We really must get you to Fhirdiad.”</p>
<p>Dimitri whirled on the man. The man who had endlessly claimed to be loyal to him without question. Loyalty that he had never asked for, loyalty that he didn’t want, except for right in this moment. “No. We are going to look for Byleth.”</p>
<p>Dedue glanced to where the dragon was still managing to hold off the waves of the Imperial army. “We do not have long, Your Highness. I hope that we find her,” he finally relented.</p>
<p>Dimitri searched. Dimitri searched everywhere he could. But there was no sign of her. No trace at all of her, the Sword of the Creator, not even her dagger. She was gone. But she couldn’t be dead. He refused to believe that.</p>
<p>Dedue returned to his side, shaking his head.</p>
<p>Dimitri lashed out, slamming his fist into a building that collapsed against the force of his strike. “We cannot give up on her,” he insisted.</p>
<p>“I agree, Your Highness. But it is not safe here,” Dedue implored him. “When we reach Fhirdiad, you can mobilize the Kingdom army to continue the search. You cannot do that if you perish here.”</p>
<p>He had been about to protest, but the last words Dedue spoke were enough to convince him. Dimitri would go to Fhirdiad, claim his throne, and mobilize the entire Kingdom army to return Byleth to his side.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Five Years of Entropy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dimitri has a slow descent into chaos in the five years since Byleth went missing.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, I would say let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view, but this chapter is Dimitri only! So let me know if there is anything you'd really like to see from during the timeskip that I missed. This chapter is a bit shorter since it's just his point of view, but hopefully it's good anyway!</p>
<p>This week has been a little wild so I am thinking that Reunion at Dawn will probably be back to weekly updates, so expect it on Friday. If I manage to write really fast, I will post early, but either way, the latest an update will come is next Friday!</p>
<p>It was VERY tempting to make a "Please do not eat the weeds" joke in the third scene, but I didn't want to take away from the tone of the chapter. Which... I'm sorry for the suffering.</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Still Here - Digital Daggers<br/>Teardrops - Bring Me The Horizon</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>He and Dedue rushed to Fhirdiad with the intent of raising an army as quickly as possible. An army to defend against the invasion of the Imperial forces, and an army to search for the woman who wielded the Sword of the Creator, who had gone missing in the Battle of Garreg Mach.</p>
<p>They were not prepared for what awaited them, for the news that his uncle Rufus, who had been serving as king regent, was dead. And that Dimitri himself was being blamed for it.</p>
<p>Dimitri was taken into custody the moment he set foot into the Kingdom capital. He was put in so many chains when they got him to his cell that he knew it had been prepared specifically for him. Enough chains to contain even the prince of the Blaiddyd bloodline and his monstrous strength.</p>
<p>He promised himself he wouldn’t scream. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. Not when they beat him, not when they carved into his skin.</p>
<p>“Little princeling, you must think yourself so brave,” Cornelia cooed at him when she finally came to see him.</p>
<p>He stared blankly ahead. He refused to dignify her with a response.</p>
<p>“You know, I really must thank you,” she said as a sickly-sweet smile crossed her lips. “This is a beautiful weapon.”</p>
<p>His eyes followed her hand as her fingers grazed over the hilt of a dagger at her hip. A dagger with a silver pommel, a black grip, and a silver crossguard, resting in an unadorned black sheath… He lunged towards her, only for the chains to snap taut and keep him from reaching her and snapping her neck.</p>
<p>Cornelia’s lips split apart in a sick grin. “Oh, is this important to you, little prince?” she asked as she drew the weapon from its sheath. The light filtering into his cell caught on the sapphire embedded in the blade, reflecting and scattering blue across the stones.</p>
<p>It was the most important thing in the world to him. He would tear Cornelia apart for even putting her filthy fingers on it. The chains holding him groaned as he strained against them.</p>
<p>“Such a beautiful thing must have been a gift, no? I hear you were rather… close… with your professor at the Officers Academy.” Cornelia leaned closer, close enough to whisper in his ear. “It’s really a shame that she died. They haven’t even recovered a body.”</p>
<p>No. She wasn’t dead. He refused to believe it. Cornelia was close enough that he was able to jerk his head to the side, smashing his skull into hers. If only his hands were free, he could’ve plunged them into her chest and pulled out her still beating heart. Her beating heart, where Byleth’s did not beat. Her heart. Byleth’s heart. Byleth. Byleth. Byleth.</p>
<p>Cornelia drew back from him with a hiss as a streak of blood trailed down from her temple. Not nearly enough. Dimitri wanted to split her skull open, crack the bone apart in his hands.</p>
<p>Cornelia clicked her tongue. “I don’t really appreciate the way you’re looking at me, little prince.” She glanced behind her. “Hold him,” she commanded.</p>
<p>Guards moved forward and pinned him in place. Hands clamping down on his face, keeping him from even turning his head.</p>
<p>Cornelia leaned forward again and ran a hand gently down his cheek. He tried to recoil from her touch, but he couldn’t move. Then she raised the dagger, the sapphire glistening brilliantly in the polished silver. And that sapphire, that silver blade, drew closer and closer as Cornelia traced a line with the tip just below his right eyebrow, through his eyelid, through his eye.</p>
<p>He grit his teeth, biting his tongue, fighting the urge to scream, even as his vision splintered. And then Cornelia struck, twisting the dagger in her hand and stabbing it into his right eye.</p>
<p>He screamed then. He screamed as the dagger given to him by the woman he loved plunged into his right eye. He screamed as his vision narrowed and pain exploded and burned through his ruined eye socket. Hot, sticky blood poured down his cheek. And still he screamed.</p>
<p>“Oh, poor little princeling. Nobody will hear you and save you even if you do scream,” Cornelia said with a smirk as she drew back and studied the now bloody blade. His own blood. His blood covering the sparkling gem, smothering the light it had previously put off.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry,” Cornelia continued. “Your execution is scheduled in two days, and then you can go join your dear professor.”</p>
<hr/>
<p><i>You’re pathetic,</i> his father said. <i>You can’t save anyone, not even yourself.</i></p>
<p>He stared mutely ahead. He’d long since shredded his voice from screaming. Once he’d started, he couldn’t stop. He didn’t even know if it was from the pain throbbing in his eye socket or from the idea that Byleth might really be gone.</p>
<p>When he started to hear screams and shouts down the hall from his cell, he wasn’t sure if it was real or if he’d somehow started screaming again.</p>
<p>But then Dedue was there, unlocking the cell and fumbling to unlock the chains restraining him. When enough of them were free, Dimitri was able to break the rest himself.</p>
<p>“Your Highness, we must go,” Dedue said as he handed Dimitri a dagger. Not the dagger he wanted. But a dagger that was a reminder. A dagger with a golden pommel and crossguard, a dagger he had once given as a gift himself.</p>
<p>“The other dagger,” he whispered, unsure if his vocal cords could handle more speech.</p>
<p>Dedue shook his head. “This was the only one of your belongings I could find. We must go. Now.”</p>
<p>Cornelia must have kept the dagger. He didn’t argue. Together they ran, but when one end of the hall filled with guards, Dedue stopped.</p>
<p>“Live, Your Highness,” his loyal friend commanded.</p>
<p>“Dedue, no!” he cried, but it came out as a rasp.</p>
<p>“I’m sure she would’ve wanted you to live too,” Dedue responded as he turned to face the oncoming guards. “Now go!”</p>
<p>It was a cruel reminder, but it worked. He had too much to live for. Too many of the dead to avenge. Father. Stepmother. Glenn. Byleth. And now, Dedue. So he fled, carrying the regrets of the dead on his shoulders.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He lived on the streets of the slums for the better part of a year. Each day was an exercise in entropy. Each day his anger grew, spreading through him like an infection. Each day as he stole enough to eat, each day as he saw the way the poor suffered, each day as he avoided Imperial patrols, the answer became clearer and clearer.</p>
<p>Edelgard was responsible for all of his suffering. The Empire was responsible for all of the suffering he witnessed.</p>
<p>Suffering that drove some to steal the way he did. Suffering that drove some to sell their bodies, and it was mostly the ones responsible for that suffering who were able to pay.</p>
<p>He was on his way to one of the taverns, to see what scraps he might be able to scavenge. His lack of taste had turned out to be a boon when it came to the things he could stomach in order to survive. To survive so he could carry on for the dead. And then… then he could finally die.</p>
<p>“Well, aren’t you handsome,” a woman said with a smile as she caught his hand. “Would you like--"</p>
<p>She would not think him handsome if she could see the ruined eye beneath the black patch covering it. She wouldn’t think so if she could see the beast lurking beneath his skin. If she could see the ire necrotizing him from the inside.</p>
<p>Glenn knew it too. <i>You’re repulsive, Dimitri.</i></p>
<p>“Don’t touch me,” he growled as he wrenched his hand from her grasp. He had no money to buy her anyway.</p>
<p>The woman’s smile faltered.</p>
<p>It wasn’t her fault. It was the Empire’s fault. The Empire that had driven her to such things, he knew.</p>
<p>But it wouldn’t have mattered if he had money to pay for such a service. It wouldn’t have mattered if she offered herself for free. Dimitri had no desire to lie with anyone. He’d been forever ruined by a woman he’d never even had. A woman that he’d heard no word of, not even whispers of someone who wielded the Sword of the Creator.</p>
<p>It was in that moment though, that the answer became clear enough to drive him from the slums. To drive him to action. The answer had always been there, and it was rather simple… Kill them all.</p>
<p>It was ultimately her loss that formed the catalyst to his downfall. He’d thought himself a beast before, but it was nothing compared to the monster that would be born from his rage.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He wandered the forests of Faerghus, lance in hand. Following news of Imperial patrols. Patrolling the borders of his Kingdom himself, marking the land lines in blood.</p>
<p>He frequently found himself staring at the sky at night, staring at the stars that he’d once gazed at with her.</p>
<p><i>The stars are beautiful, aren’t they?</i> she'd asked. And still, she was the most beautiful of them all. Perhaps she had returned to the stars.</p>
<p>But he’d seen her pierce a hole through the sky to come back to him. He kept waiting for her to do it again.</p>
<p><i>I don’t care that I’m unworthy. Just come back,</i> he would beg. <i>Come back come back come back. Comebackcomebackcomebackcomeback.</i></p>
<p>But he’d known before, just as he knew now. Wishes didn’t come true, and miracles were only called such because they didn’t really happen. It was said that absence made the heart grow fonder, but absence really just made the heart bleed. And his heart was all bruises, all scars, by now.</p>
<p><i>You broke your promise to Jeralt,</i> his father scolded him.</p>
<p>He had. He had failed Jeralt in protecting her just as he had failed to deliver Edelgard’s head. He would not fail again. He would do that much, at least, rip every Imperial soldier he came across apart with his bare hands until he could wrap those same hands around his stepsister’s neck.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Sometimes she came to him at night. Gentle arms would wrap around him from behind, a soft caress would trail over his ruined eye and down his cheek.</p>
<p>And her dagger, clenched tightly in her hand, would angle towards his heart. His heart that he’d once thought could beat for the both of them. His heart that he wished did not beat anymore, just like hers.</p>
<p>“Shall I end your suffering?” she would offer.</p>
<p>“Yes,” he would breathe. “Please.” He would beg her to end him, end the waking nightmare he now lived, blood staining his soul. He’d ripped men clean in two with his bare hands.</p>
<p>“Then we can be together forever, just like you wished,” she would promise him. Goddess, he wanted nothing more.</p>
<p>But just as her dagger began to pierce his flesh, he would turn to gaze at her. Empty eye sockets stared back at him. The spring green of her hair was stained red with blood. Her limbs stuck out at odd angles and her chest was caved in.</p>
<p>And then he would wake up. Back to a world where she was gone and he was here with only the dead for company, and she didn’t care enough for him to even haunt him like the rest. Why would she, when he was nothing but a rat slaughtering rats? In a world without her, where there was nothing but vengeance.</p>
<p><i>Didn’t I warn you? You cursed her,</i> Glenn would laugh.</p>
<p>He had. He should have known better than to love her--everyone he loved was taken from him. His love was a curse. He hadn’t been able to help himself, and it had dragged her to her grave.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Her ghost may have spurned him, but her memory haunted his every step. Her eyes. Where he had lost one. The way she wielded her sword. Where he had taken her lessons to heart, victory at all costs, seize every opportunity. Her rage. With every man he ripped apart with his bare hands, every bit of gore that soaked through his soul. Her scent, like a fresh rain. As he trudged through the mud and hunted and lived in the dirt he desperately wished to return to.</p>
<p>Her smile. Her mesmerizing smile. With every smile he’d give as he took a life. Her smile. Edelgard’s head. Her smile. Edelgard’s neck. Her smile. Her smile. Her smile.</p>
<p>And sometimes at night there was the memory of the way she felt in his arms when he’d asked her to dance. The feel of her body against his on the night he’d almost lost control and taken her right then on the floor of the training ground. And again when he’d almost taken her on his desk in the classroom. Sometimes he wished he had. Just so the memory of it could torment him now. The feel of her lips against his from the times when he’d been brave or foolish enough to kiss her.</p>
<p><i>Fantasizing about a corpse?</i> Glenn would whisper cruelly.</p>
<p>He was.</p>
<p>Her skin would turn mottled and decayed, bones showing through, maggots writhing in her gray flesh. He was little more than a corpse himself at this point, preserved by hatred and fueled by the need for revenge, empty for all save the drive to kill all of the filthy rats. Things had stopped hurting a long time ago. But sometimes, that emptiness was heavy enough to break.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It had long been said in the eastern regions of Faerghus that those who died with regret ended up somewhere cold, somewhere dark. Stuck forever unless their regrets were cleared away. It was said that they would try to dig up through the earth, trying to find the surface or the light.</p>
<p>Dimitri knew in his bones that it was true, because when he laid in the dirt at night, he could hear them, clawing and creeping in the cold ground.</p>
<p>He wished that she could claw her way up to him. But she didn’t. He was alone. Always alone.</p>
<p><i>It’s miserable here,</i> his father lamented.</p>
<p>He knew. He knew he had to try harder. Kill more. Kill more. Kill more.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“What is the date,” he hissed at the Imperial soldier whose head he gripped in his hand. The others had already been dispatched. Slowly. He liked taking his time. But this one… he’d had questions. So he’d shattered the man’s kneecaps before taking out the rest of the platoon. He’d crawled, but he hadn’t gotten far before Dimitri caught up.</p>
<p>“M-monster!” the man stammered.</p>
<p>True. A repulsive monster. It wasn’t an answer to his question.</p>
<p>“I asked you a question. What good are your ears if you do not listen?” Dimitri asked, gripping the fleshy cartilage of one of the man’s ears with his free hand. Just a gentle tug. To start.</p>
<p>“N-no!”</p>
<p>“Then answer my question. What. Is. The. Date.”</p>
<p>“It’s the twe-twenty-second of the Ethereal Moon! Please, please just let me go!”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” The sound when flesh began to tear was unlike anything else. The screaming that joined it, a serenade to his suffering.</p>
<p>Dimitri rose to his feet and opened his bloodstained hands, dropping the ear to the snow-covered earth. He ground it into a pulpy mess under his boot.</p>
<p>“You’re a demon!”</p>
<p>“I had a good teacher,” he responded smoothly. Hadn’t she, after all, been the Ashen Demon? How fitting for him to follow in her footsteps. “I’ll be merciful and let you go. Go ahead and crawl.”</p>
<p>It was an offer, but not to the man. It was an offer to the red wolves that had arrived. Beasts, beckoned by the scent of blood. Just like him.</p>
<p>The man realized it too, but there was nothing he could do. No struggle he could put up against the hungry animals.</p>
<p>Dimitri sat to watch the wolves enjoy their feast as they devoured the Imperial soldier alive. Maybe she had been a wolf too, she’d always been ravenous like one.</p>
<p>They did not bother with him. Not with easier prey. Or maybe they respected his status as just another beast to them.</p>
<p>No, neither of those were the truth. The truth was that they had no interest in putrefying flesh, no interest in a rotting corpse masquerading as a man.</p>
<p>He’d prepare himself to depart soon. It was almost the twenty-fourth of the Ethereal Moon, the day before the millennium festival. He had somewhere to be, to see what promises were worth. To see if she’d finally, finally, finally come to haunt him too.</p>
<p><i>The wolves may have no interest in corpses, but you certainly worship one,</i> Glenn mocked.</p>
<p>He did. A year had been long enough to fall hopelessly in love with her. But five years had not been long enough to forget her. No, her memory was his pyre and he still burned for her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Reunion at Dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth wakes up to find that five years have passed, and there is someone waiting for her.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights (but there is a lot more doubling up post-timeskip).</p>
<p>I'm sorry that this was back on the weekly schedule! Work has been... a lot these last few weeks so I've been a bit drained. BUT I am SOOOOO excited to be at the timeskip and for the things I have planned in some of the chapters coming up! Once again, I miiiight be able to pull off a double posting next week, but we'll see. If I can, I'll get an extra up on Tuesday, if not, another chapter will be up on Friday either way.</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>New Divide - Linkin Park<br/>The Drug in Me is Reimagined - Falling in Reverse</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! Seriously, I cannot express enough thanks for all of the support I've been receiving! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p><i>You… How long do you intend to sleep?</i> A familiar voice asked. <i>Your body is awake. Your eyes must open now, and you must find the strength to stand upon those legs of yours. Like so much rain, a pool of blood has fallen to the ground… As spears and arrows pierce the earth, it weeps. And even now… it weeps. In order to survive, they kill. And so, the people of this world are lost in an abyss of suffering. They weep as well. The only one who truly knows the nature of such things is I… Or rather, you.</i></p>
<p>I was so tired.</p>
<p><i>You are a complete and utter fool!</i> The voice scolded me. <i>Have you not changed one bit?!</i></p>
<p><i>Who?</i> I asked.</p>
<p>
  <i>Excuse me?! Are you saying you have forgotten who I am? How dare you!</i>
</p>
<p>No. Not the voice. It was the voice of an old friend. A voice that resided deep within my soul. Who was I?</p>
<p>
  <i>Get on your feet. Right now! I’ll coddle you no more! You are just like a child, always needing me to hold your hand… You don’t have time to waste.</i>
</p>
<p>I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I was far too exhausted.</p>
<p>
  <i>Someone is waiting for you.</i>
</p>
<p>My eyes flew open, and then the voice was gone.</p>
<p>I was lying in a small bed, staring up at a dilapidated ceiling. I shifted under the thin sheet covering me and felt the rough fabric slide against my naked body.</p>
<p>Pieces of who I was and where I was supposed to be started coming back to me. My name was Byleth Eisner. I was a demon. A demon that had received power from a goddess. There had been a battle. And then… I had fallen. And now, someone was waiting for me.</p>
<p>I sat up and then froze as I caught sight of my back in the dirty mirror on the wall across from the bed. A mess of thick scars was scattered across the skin. I hadn’t just fallen. I’d felt the impact. I’d felt my body shatter, but somehow I’d been knit back together.</p>
<p>The sound of movement beyond the door distracted me, and I glanced around until my gaze settled on a familiar dagger sitting on the run-down nightstand. A dagger in a blue sheath. My dagger, presented to me by my father, who was dead.</p>
<p>I lunged for it, finding my body surprisingly limber despite the fall. The fall that should have killed me. I should be dead.</p>
<p>The door started to open and I rose from the bed, wrapping the sheet around myself and holding the dagger up in front of me.</p>
<p>“Hey! A-are you awake?” a voice asked, belonging to a plain-looking man who stepped into the room. His face fell when his eyes landed on me and then settled on the dagger I held, pointed towards him.</p>
<p>“Who are you?” I demanded, fighting against my initial instinct to kill first and ask questions later.</p>
<p>“I’m just a villager here,” he said slowly, his eyes never leaving the blade. “I’m going to set this down on the dresser, okay?” He raised a bundle in his arms.</p>
<p>“What is it.”</p>
<p>“It’s just your clothes,” he responded carefully. “My wife and I found you. Your clothes were filthy and you were asleep, so my wife bathed you and I washed your clothes.”</p>
<p>I nodded slowly and watched as he placed the bundle on the dresser. I recognized the gray fabric of my jacket and the glint of my armor.</p>
<p>“We were pretty shocked to find someone floating away down the river like that,” he continued. “Garreg Mach is upstream of here, but that place was abandoned.”</p>
<p>Garreg Mach. The battle. Abandoned. The battle. I couldn’t be here. I had things I needed to protect. I had someone I needed to protect. “There was a battle there,” I said aloud, in a tone demanding the man fill in the blanks before me.</p>
<p>He slowly nodded. “Yeah, there was. But that was a long time ago. The Church of Seiros isn’t there anymore. Though there have been some folks living there in the five years since…”</p>
<p>Five years. It wasn’t possible.</p>
<p>I barely heard his next words as he continued, “Anyway, I’ve heard some thieves have been spotted around those parts these days.”</p>
<p>Five years. Five years. Five years. “What year is it?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Um, are you feeling alright? You didn’t hit your head or anything, did you?”</p>
<p><i>I died,</i> I almost said.</p>
<p>“It’s the Ethereal Moon of the year 1185. It’s been nearly five years since the monastery fell,” he continued with a frown. “Tomorrow was supposed to be the millennium festival, but who’s got time to think about that?”</p>
<p>It really had been five years. Five years. <i>The millennium festival…</i></p>
<p>I hadn’t even realized I’d said the words aloud until the man slowly nodded. “Uh, yeah, that’s what I said. But with the war and the archbishop still missing and all… I doubt there’s a soul to be found who has enough blessings worth counting.”</p>
<p>I had a promise to keep. And there was someone waiting for me.</p>
<p>The man followed my gaze to my clothes. “Anyway, I’ll let you get dressed.”</p>
<p>I nodded, finally lowering my dagger. I saw relief flash in the man’s eyes before he retreated, closing the door behind him.</p>
<p>I dressed quickly, securing my dagger back upon my hip. In the next room, the man sat at a table with a woman who must have been his wife. There was a meager spread of bread and cheese set out, but my focus was elsewhere.</p>
<p>I felt it before I saw it. Just as the first time I’d seen it, like it was calling out to me. I froze as my eyes settled on the sword that was leaning against the wall by the door. My sword. The Sword of the Creator.</p>
<p>“That’s quite the sword,” the woman said as she glanced over at it. “Looks like one of them fancy Hero’s Relics some of the nobles have.”</p>
<p>I strode over to it wordlessly and secured it at my hip. And while I still didn’t feel whole, I felt like I’d at least found one of my missing pieces with my weapon back in its rightful place.</p>
<p>“Come and grab a bite,” the woman motioned towards the table.</p>
<p>I didn’t have time to waste. Sothis had even said so. I reached for the door.</p>
<p>“Hey! Slow down, will ya? Where do you think you’re going?” the man asked.</p>
<p>“The monastery,” I replied without looking back as I pulled the door open.</p>
<p>“Are you crazy?!” the man responded incredulously. “I told ya! They say thieves are running amok up there, and there’s plenty of other dangers too. I heard a rumor that Imperial troops went up there to investigate and got slaughtered. Every last one! Come on, I promise I won’t say you’re a coward. Just forget about going anywhere near the monastery.”</p>
<p>I glanced back at the couple finally and shook my head.</p>
<p>The man frowned. “You just remember I tried to stop you, got it? It’s not on my conscience if you wind up dead!”</p>
<p>I had already wound up dead once. I did not intend to again. Not when I had a promise to keep. “I appreciate your help, but someone is waiting for me.”</p>
<p>The man shook his head. “You really are crazy, aren’t you? There’s no one anywhere near that place anymore! Unbelievable…”</p>
<hr/>
<p>If I’d thought the house I left from was in a bad state, it was nothing compared to the town just at the base of the monastery. Some of the buildings were decimated entirely, but others stood despite the crumbling stones of their doorways.</p>
<p>The monastery itself was in a little better shape, but that was likely just due to the fact that it had more solid construction to begin with. And even around the monastery, there were piles of rubble and some of the walls had fallen.</p>
<p>My trek to the monastery had been devoid of anyone else--there was no sign of the thieves that had been mentioned, but once I reached the main compound, I did find the Imperial troops, or at least their corpses.</p>
<p>None of them had been killed cleanly. Limbs were scattered from the bodies they had once belonged to, and they were not cleanly cut but rather looked as if they had been torn apart with brute force. Entrails and viscera had been spilled from abdomens. Skulls had been crushed, leaving brain matter smeared amongst shards of bone. It was a scene that would have bidden bile to rise in my throat were I not capable of the same depravities.</p>
<p>I knew one person capable of those same kinds of atrocities--one person who was capable of the same depravity as me, the same person who had taught me that killing was not always the answer. It was with a mixture of hope and fear that I followed the trail of bodies towards the cathedral.</p>
<p>When I reached the bridge between the main building of the monastery and the cathedral though, I froze. A cold sweat began to break out across my palms as I eyed the edge of the bridge and the ravine below. As I remembered the feeling of falling, knowing that I was falling to my death, and the moment of pain unlike anything I had ever known that followed.</p>
<p>But someone was waiting for me, and I could not be deterred. I clenched my hands into fists and took several deep breaths before I forced myself to walk down the bridge, making sure to stay right in the middle, as far away from either balcony as I could get.</p>
<p>The trail of carnage led me to the Goddess Tower. I carefully made my way up the steps that were slick with blood, stepping around bodies as I went. I reached the top of the stairs and turned. A shaft of light filtered in through the balcony, but it was in the shadows against the wall that I could see a figure seated.</p>
<p>The light shifted as I took a step forward, and the figure raised their head. I walked forward. Blood was splattered across his face. His blonde hair was overgrown and unkempt, his bangs falling just past his nose and the rest falling to his chin, the back grazing his shoulders. One blue eye squinted, like he was adjusting to the light. Where the right eye used to be, a black eyepatch now rested.</p>
<p>He sat against the wall, clutching his lance like it was the only solid thing in the room that he could cling to. He wore black armor with a diagonal blue cross over the right of his chest. His boots were wreathed in black and white fur. Draped across his shoulders was a massive black and white bear fur, and a blue cloak fell from it and rested on the ground beneath him.</p>
<p>
  <i>Someone is waiting for you.</i>
</p>
<p>I stepped forward and held out my hand to the man I loved.</p>
<p>Dimitri looked up at me and then quickly turned away. “So… you’ve finally come to haunt me as well.”</p>
<p>My heart may not have been able to beat, but in that moment I learned that it certainly could break. Just what had happened in the five years that I had missed? Before I could ask, before I could move, he swung out with the blunt end of his lance, catching behind my feet and pulling them out from beneath me.</p>
<p>I’d barely hit the ground when he moved to straddle me, bringing the point of his lance to my neck. “You… What must I do to be rid of you? I will kill that woman, I swear it. Do not look upon me with scorn in your eyes!”</p>
<p>“Everything will be okay,” I said softly, even as I felt a hot trickle of blood slide down my neck as the tip of the blade dug in.</p>
<p>He froze. “You…” His eye widened. “It can’t be! You’re alive?!”</p>
<p>His lance clattered to the ground beside us. And then he had one hand buried in my hair, cradling the back of my head, the other clutching my own hand tightly. He lifted my torso slightly off the ground as he leaned in, and then his lips were crashing into mine.</p>
<p>The pieces of my heart that had cracked apart when he thought I was a ghost come to torment him settled back together in the wake of his kiss. The only thing that had finally pushed me to open my eyes and return to life was the hope that it might be him waiting for me, and his kiss tasted like resurrection.</p>
<p>When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine with his eye closed.</p>
<p>If I’d woken to find him gone, I would’ve made the massacre of the Imperial troops that I’d followed to him look like child’s play. “I’m glad you’re safe,” I whispered.</p>
<p>His eye flew open and he let go of me abruptly. “Am I?” he asked bitterly as he rose to his feet, picking up his lance as he went.</p>
<p>I rose to my own feet and he brushed past me.</p>
<p>I followed him down into the cathedral. He stood before a massive pile of rubble where the altar had once been. Standing next to him, I realized he’d grown taller. I had reached his shoulder before, but now I barely made it to his chest. He’d always been striking to look at, but now he was devastatingly handsome--except for the dead look in his eye.</p>
<p>Five years. I should have been there.</p>
<p>“What have you been doing the past five years?” I finally asked, trying to phrase it more delicately than asking him directly what had happened to him. What had taken his right eye from him, what had left the defeated look in his remaining eye.</p>
<p>“I have been dead, more or less.”</p>
<p>“Why do you say that?” I pressed. I had a feeling that I had been far closer to dead than he had been. And looking at him, maybe that had been better. He was pale and the shadows under his exposed eye were dark not just as if he hadn’t slept well in weeks, but as if he hadn’t slept well in five years.</p>
<p>“What do you hope to gain, asking me that?” he spit out bitterly. “There are more important matters at hand…”</p>
<p>He was alive, but the distance that had grown between us in five years, with my death, was too great for me to bridge on my own. I longed to reach out to him, but I feared that he would recoil from my touch.</p>
<p>When I said nothing, he continued, “Do you not smell them? Filthy rats. Everywhere. And traces of those who were here long ago. And thieves, crawling from the woodwork, attracted by the promise of treasure.” He huffed a laugh. “Since the monastery fell, order in the area fell right along with it. You must have seen the state of the town near Garreg Mach on your way here. Vile thieves run rampant. They pillage and loot to their heart’s content. I must kill them. Every last one. It’s time to hunt down their nest.”</p>
<p>“What do you plan to do?” I asked, hoping that whatever his plans were that I could at least follow him.</p>
<p>“I told you. I will kill them all.”</p>
<p>My heart ached as I looked at him. He, who had been the one who had taught me that the violence my soul usually reached for was not the only answer. And even thieves were just trying to survive. “We don’t have to kill them to stop them,” I said carefully.</p>
<p>“They must die. Someone must put a stop to this cycle of the strong trampling the weak.” He finally turned to look at me and fixed me with a sharp glare. “Or do you condone their actions? Do you believe that the pillaging and slaughtering those rats live for is justified?!” He grit his teeth and looked away. “It is reprehensible, and they must be put down! I intend to give them a taste of the pain they have inflicted on others. Even if it means becoming a rat myself. I swore to at least do that much… I will not let them down…”</p>
<p>“How many are there? Can just the two of us hope to prevail?” I could only hope that whatever miracle had preserved my life had included my fighting skill not atrophying.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter. All that matters is killing those who deserve to die.” He gripped his lance tighter and started to walk away. But I caught the glance he shot back quickly as if to make sure I was following.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“It smells of blood and sewage. Seems I’ve found their nest,” Dimitri remarked as we made our way through the town at the base of the monastery.</p>
<p>Ahead of us, I could see thieves milling about through the streets.</p>
<p>Dimitri turned to me and grinned. “Shall we go rat hunting? Don’t let a single vermin escape!”</p>
<p>I drew my sword in answer. We wound through the first street, dispatching thieves as we went. As we rounded the corner, I raised my blade to strike, but froze when I saw Gilbert and Ashe standing at the north end of the crossroads.</p>
<p>“His Highness! And… Professor Byleth?” Gilbert asked in disbelief. “We must speak later.”</p>
<p>“I know it’s been five years, but I never expected the monastery to end up like this,” Ashe said at his side. And then his eyes fell on me. “We promised five years ago we’d meet here and now!” He’d grown in five years. He wore a thick blue tunic. His hair was longer and groomed to the right side of his head, and the boyish features of his face had vanished. In five years, he’d become a man.</p>
<p>Footsteps to the south had me whirling. Mercedes emerged from behind a building. “Oh! I haven’t seen any of you in such a long time! I’m so glad to see you’re alive,” she breathed. “It makes having to leave my family less difficult.” She was largely unchanged, but she’d cut her long, thick hair short so it fell to her chin.</p>
<p>Annette popped out beside her and beamed at me. “Long time no see, Professor! I always knew in my heart that we’d meet again!” Her hair was unbound and she wore a long, fur-lined white dress with a thick blue ribbon tied in the front. A rust-colored shawl was wrapped around her shoulders and her face had filled in a bit. When she raised her hands, there was wind dancing at her fingertips. “We’ll help out from over here! It’s over, thieves!”</p>
<p>“Why… Why are you here?” Dimitri asked as he stared at them.</p>
<p>But there was no time to talk, not as we all engaged the bandits surrounding us.</p>
<p>The sound of hoofbeats against the stone pavement had me spinning around again, in time to see Sylvain cutting onto the street in front of us, impaling a bandit on the Lance of Ruin as he rode to meet us.</p>
<p>“The monastery has become a nest of thieves,” Sylvain lamented. His eyes landed on me and a grin split across his face. “Professor! Has it really been five years? You’re as pretty as ever, and that’s the only thing that matters.”</p>
<p>Sylvain’s messy hair had grown out a bit and he’d replaced his uniform for a sturdy set of steel armor with fur lining the neck. The thing most changed was the self-assured air he seemed to exude despite the empty comments he flung my way.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s eye narrowed at Sylvain, but he said nothing.</p>
<p>Not that he had a chance, because the sound of wings beating in the air drew our attention as Ingrid descended from the sky on a Pegasus. She was wielding a Hero’s Relic of her own, a simpler and more elegant looking one than most that I had seen--a single pointed lance.</p>
<p>“Professor! You’re alive after all! It’ll be nice to fight alongside each other. Just like old times. Although I am wielding Lúin now!” She waved her lance to the side and rose back into the air to rush down a thief who was attempting to make an escape.</p>
<p>Like Mercedes, she had cut her hair short, the sides pulled back in two braids secured with green ribbons. She wore a polished set of silver armor with green accents, a thick collar of fur, and a short green cape.</p>
<p>Felix finally came out from a building next to Sylvain. “What a pleasant surprise. I’ll lend a hand. We’ll catch up later.” He was slightly taller, and his hair was pulled back into a short ponytail instead of a bun. He wore a long turquoise fur-lined coat over navy breeches.</p>
<p>Dimitri stared at them all for a long moment. As if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing either. Somehow, the Blue Lions had reunited--all except for Dedue. And somehow, I was here, too. Alive.</p>
<p>“There are openings to the north and south,” Dimitri directed. “We’ll split into two and tear them apart!”</p>
<p>Some small part of me swelled with pride as he emulated my tactics perfectly. Pride that was quickly replaced with dread as I wondered just which tactics he’d had to employ to survive, which tactic had failed and cost him his eye.</p>
<p>We all obeyed his order, and with the bulk of our forces reassembled, we made quick work of the bandits.</p>
<p>“I thought it would be easy money… Maybe it wasn’t… meant to be…” the bandit leader bit out as he died.</p>
<p>Dimitri glared at him in silence.</p>
<hr/>
<p>When the last of the bandits had been dispatched, everyone gathered around Dimitri and me.</p>
<p>“Your Highness! Professor! Although… I guess we can just call you Byleth now,” Ingrid said with a small smile. “I’m so glad you’re both safe…”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “Why are you here?”</p>
<p>“Did you forget?” Ashe asked. “We all made a promise on this very day five years ago.”</p>
<p>“Dimitri, weren’t you the one who asked that we all meet up here?” Mercedes reminded him.</p>
<p>“Don’t be silly! Of course you remember our promise,” Annette said quickly. “That’s why you and the profess--Byleth, sorry--are here, right?”</p>
<p>“Your Highness…” Gilbert began with a bow. “I have been following news of your whereabouts for a while now. I am relieved to have finally found you.”</p>
<p>“Do not call me that,” Dimitri responded sharply. “I am not a prince, but a walking corpse.”</p>
<p>“Why would you say that?” I asked quietly, fighting the urge to beg him to tell me what had happened to him, the urge to wrap my arms around him and not let go. The urge to find out who had hurt him and annihilate them.</p>
<p>But it was Gilbert who responded, “That is what we all believed, but it is not so. I can see with my own eyes that you are alive, Your Highness. But the jail cells in Fhirdiad are as solid as they come. How did you manage to…”</p>
<p>“Dedue,” Dimitri interrupted, as if that was all the explanation needed.</p>
<p><i>The jail cells in Fhirdiad.</i> Dedue, who had not shown up to this promised reunion…</p>
<p>“What happened?” I asked, and my stomach turned as I feared what I would hear. As I feared the only thing that could have separated Dedue from Dimitri’s side, just as it was the only thing that could separate me from his side.</p>
<p>“He’s dead. He died in my place,” Dimitri responded quietly.</p>
<p>I whispered a thank you to Dedue in my heart, for doing what I could not.</p>
<p>“I see,” Gilbert responded solemnly. “We will be sure to honor his loyalty, Your Highness. As for the state of the Kingdom, the lords from the western regions have declared their fealty to the Empire, starting with House Rowe. Cornelia’s band of traitors now refers to Kingdom territory as the Faerghus Dukedom. They’ve made Fhirdiad their stronghold as they continue to invade the eastern region.”</p>
<p>I watched Dimitri stiffen at the mention of Cornelia. The name sounded familiar. “Cornelia?” I asked.</p>
<p>“She is a mage who has served the royal family for more than twenty years,” Gilbert responded. “There is much to tell you. I will explain everything in time.”</p>
<p>Five years was a large gap to try and fill in, but I wasn’t going to protest when Gilbert was promising me the answers that Dimitri didn’t seem willing or able to share at the moment. And I didn’t want to press him, not when I was so afraid of him slipping away.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s not like all of the Kingdom’s lords have sided with the Empire,” Sylvain offered. “There are plenty of houses, like mine and Felix’s, that remain stubbornly opposed.”</p>
<p>Gilbert bowed again before Dimitri. “Your Highness. Please allow us to take up arms at your side once more. What we need more than anything isn’t soldiers, money, or supplies. We need the legitimate heir of Faerghus to overthrow the Empire and reclaim the Kingdom! Such is your duty. It is yours alone to bear and well worth fighting for. Only you can gather our troops and lead us back into the light.”</p>
<p>Even as I understood Gilbert’s words, I felt rage building in me as they sank in. How could he think to place that burden on Dimitri’s shoulders in the state he was in? But I was not a prince or a king, I was a mercenary who had known no responsibility. I couldn’t understand, not really.</p>
<p>They all needed the prince, the king, the crown. I needed him. I needed Dimitri. Even if it was selfish to wish for, after I had failed him so horrifically. “You are still needed, Dimitri,” I said gently. <i>I need you.</i></p>
<p>“I see.” Dimitri was quiet for a long moment. “So, you all agree that we must fight back. And you see how that woman… how the Empire cannot be forgiven. That we must wipe them all out until not a single one remains…”</p>
<p>“Wipe them all out?” Annette asked nervously. “Umm, I don’t think any of us here are suggesting anything that extreme…”</p>
<p>But even as she protested, I realized deep in my heart that I would do exactly that if it was what he truly desired. I would kill anyone, should he ask it of me. Just as he had once promised to do for me.</p>
<p>Gilbert sighed heavily and turned to me. “Byleth… There is something I would like to ask you. Please join me inside the monastery.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I did my best to explain to Gilbert where I’d been, but the truth was that I didn’t really know. I still wasn’t sure if I’d been asleep or dead. But he seemed to be more comfortable with the idea that I’d been asleep.</p>
<p>“To think you survived under all that rubble for the past five years… I suppose stranger things have happened, odd as that is to admit,” Gilbert said, but his tone was one of disbelief. “There is still much I would like to ask you… But I think that’s enough for now.”</p>
<p>“Where are the Knights of Seiros?” I asked, recalling that Gilbert had once been a part of their order.</p>
<p>“On that day five years ago, during the battle with the Imperial army, Lady Rhea went missing. Since then, the Knights of Seiros have continued searching for her… and for you. I hear they have yet to find any promising leads. As the Empire has yet to release a statement, it’s hard to imagine that she has perished. And yet…” Gilbert paused and shook his head. “Ah, nevermind. Once news of your survival gets out, everyone will flock back to the monastery.”</p>
<p>It was almost a relief that Rhea was missing. But I had to know what had happened to Dimitri. “What happened to the Kingdom?”</p>
<p>“After that battle, a certain… incident took place in Fhirdiad,” Gilbert began, watching me with a frown. “Rufus, who was serving as king regent, was murdered. As I mentioned to you, I was once a knight in service of the royal family… I resigned from the Knights of Seiros and returned to serve the Kingdom. However… Cornelia claimed that His Highness had murdered his uncle in a fit of rage, believing rumors of his involvement in the Tragedy of Duscur. She framed Prince Dimitri and sentenced him to death. It was soon after announced that his sentence had been carried out. With His Highness’ death, the royal bloodline of House Blaiddyd was erased from this world. True to her word, all we could do was watch as she tore the Kingdom apart before our eyes. Since the execution and the prince’s corpse were concealed from the public, there have always been those who believed His Highness was still alive… As for myself, I only began to hope three years ago, when I chanced upon some compelling rumors…”</p>
<p>“What rumors?” I prompted when Gilbert trailed off, struggling to get the words out as the horror of what Dimitri must have experienced settled in. If Cornelia ever crossed my path, she would rue the day that she had betrayed him.</p>
<p>“An Imperial platoon attacked without warning. Incident after incident of Imperial generals being slaughtered in Kingdom territory. It is said that each died in such a brutal, gruesome way that… it is hard to imagine that they were killed by human hands. I followed the rumors to location after location. Eventually, I had seen enough. I knew the rumors were true. Finally, after a half decade of torment, it happened. I found him…” Gilbert sighed and shook his head. “I fear his deep hatred, and the weight of his solitude, have consumed him for far too long… We must bring him back from the edge on which he stands. To that end, I must speak with His Highness. I imagine it will not be a quick or easy conversation. I pray that he is of a mind to speak of such things. I am certain that my words will… Nevermind. What must be done, must be done. I would wager that you are weary after the day’s events. Perhaps you should take this opportunity to get some rest.”</p>
<p>I hesitantly nodded. Even as I ached for the kind, compassionate prince who had once told me he did not carry the burden of killing well, who had taught me to be more like him, the demon within me understood the monstrous part of him who was the same as I always had been.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I made my way back to my old room, finding it largely unchanged and sheltered from much of the damage done to the monastery, aside from the thick layer of dust that had settled over everything.</p>
<p>My heart was weary and tired, but the moment I closed my eyes, fear squeezed around me like a vice. Fear that if I closed my eyes, when I next opened them, time would have slipped away from me again. And against that paralyzing terror, sleep did not find me at all.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>He’d made it in time. Dawn would soon be breaking across Garreg Mach on the day before the millennium festival. But he was not the only one there. Thieves skulked about the town at the base of the monastery, polluting it with their stench. But it was not the thieves that set Dimitri off. It was the Imperial troops at the monastery itself, corrupting it with their presence, violating the place that he’d once shared with her.</p>
<p>He was not quick. He was not gentle. He punished every one of the soldiers for their transgression, leaving a trail of corpses in his wake as he made his way to the place where he’d first cursed her. When he finally reached the top of the Goddess Tower, he settled in to wait. To see if she’d keep her promise.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dawn was finally beginning to break, and the silence broke with it, as the sound of footsteps echoed off the stone of the stairwell and grew louder. Byleth reached the top of the steps, the daybreak chasing after her as she stepped forward, breathtaking and bathed in light.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but squint against the radiance. She’d once been swallowed in darkness and cut through it like she was blessed. He’d been swallowed in darkness and become one with it.</p>
<p>In his dreams she was kind, offering him release from the hell he lived. Her ghost, it seemed, was cruel. So much crueler than the others. She did the most wicked thing he could imagine, she offered her hand, knowing that he would never be able to take it.</p>
<p>“So… you’ve finally come to haunt me as well,” he said as he met her gaze. And then he quickly looked away. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. He’d thought that he wanted nothing more than for her ghost to join those that shadowed him, but now that she was, he found that he didn’t want to see her. Not if she was going to hurt him like this with the reminder that he could never really touch her again.</p>
<p>He struck out with his lance, anything to get her to withdraw the hand she was offering. The moment she hit the ground, he settled himself over her hips, something he would have loved to do were she only alive. But she was not. She was a ghost. A ghost who would take this attack and not bleed, his ghosts never bled, no matter how he raged against them.</p>
<p>“You… What must I do to be rid of you?” he demanded as he pressed the tip of his lance into her neck. “I will kill that woman, I swear it. Do not look upon me with scorn in your eyes!”</p>
<p>“Everything will be okay,” she murmured. A cruel lie. Nothing was okay. Nothing had been okay in five years, in nine years, and it would never be okay again. Only Edelgard’s head would satisfy the dead.</p>
<p>But he froze as his eyes fell on her neck. Where the point of his lance had pressed into the soft skin and a thin line of blood had begun to run down. “You… It can’t be! You’re alive?!”</p>
<p>His gaze moved from the blood to her eyes, not empty sockets, but green and whole. More whole than his. There were no maggots eating away at her flesh, there was no decay or rot peeling her skin from her bones. Alive. She was alive.</p>
<p>He tossed his lance to the side and the moment it left his hands, he reached for her instead, lifting her head so his lips could meet hers as he clasped her hand tightly in his own. Her hands were so much smaller than he remembered.</p>
<p>He kissed her like a man starving. He <i>was</i> a man starving, starved for five years of her touch, her presence. When he finally tore his lips from hers, he still couldn’t pull away, pressing his forehead to hers and breathing in the fresh spring rain, the scent of life. And for just a moment, he felt alive again, as if she were breathing that life right into him.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re safe,” she whispered, and reality came crashing back in.</p>
<p>She may not have been dead, but he was. There were no maggots in her skin, but sometimes he thought he could feel them squirming, writhing, flailing in his own tissue as he festered from the inside out. And even if he would’ve kissed her corpse, he knew she wouldn’t want to kiss his. He quickly let go of her and reached for his lance.</p>
<p>“Am I?” he asked angrily. He hadn’t been safe in nine years, not even when he’d been at the Officers Academy with his greatest enemy right there with him.</p>
<p>He rose to his feet, brushing past Byleth as she stood next to him.</p>
<p>Even as he brushed past her though, she moved to follow him as he made his way to stare at the rubble that now stood in the cathedral where the altar to the goddess who refused to save him had been.</p>
<p>“What have you been doing the past five years?” she asked.</p>
<p>He told her the truth. “I have been dead, more or less.”</p>
<p>“Why do you say that?”</p>
<p>“What do you hope to gain, asking me that?” Couldn’t she see that he was stained far beyond the reach of redemption? Could she not smell the rot upon him, could she not see the atrophy that consumed his heart?</p>
<p>It didn’t matter. There was only one thing that mattered: retribution, punishment, revenge. He continued, “There are more important matters at hand… Do you not smell them? Filthy rats. Everywhere. And traces of those who were here long ago. And thieves, crawling from the woodwork, attracted by the promise of treasure.” He couldn’t help but chuckle. The only treasure that had been at the monastery had vanished five years ago. “Since the monastery fell, order in the area fell right along with it. You must have seen the state of the town near Garreg Mach on your way here. Vile thieves run rampant. They pillage and loot to their heart’s content. I must kill them. Every last one. It’s time to hunt down their nest.”</p>
<p>“What do you plan to do?”</p>
<p>Had he not just explained it? “I told you. I will kill them all.” He would purge the monastery of the filth that was infesting it, an act that he knew she would appreciate.</p>
<p>“We don’t have to kill them to stop them,” she said slowly.</p>
<p>“They must die. Someone must put a stop to this cycle of the strong trampling the weak.” This wasn’t something he should have to explain to her, she who had remorselessly cut through bandits on the day they’d first met, when she’d first entranced him. She, who never hesitated with her blade. He finally turned to look at her, his brows furrowing into a glare. “Or do you condone their actions? Do you believe that the pillaging and slaughtering those rats live for is justified?!”</p>
<p>It wasn’t just her hands that were smaller, she was so much smaller than he remembered. The idea that he may have forgotten a single detail about her had him gritting his teeth and turning his gaze from her again as he continued, “It is reprehensible, and they must be put down! I intend to give them a taste of the pain they have inflicted on others. Even if it means becoming a rat myself. I swore to at least do that much… I will not them down…”</p>
<p>He’d sworn it to her as well. Could she not see that he would not let her down? Not when it came to killing.</p>
<p>“How many are there? Can just the two of us hope to prevail?” she questioned.</p>
<p>The shred of a man that remained within him couldn’t help but be relieved at her words, at the phrasing that implied that she intended to return to his side. But the beast that had grown into a monster in her absence was straining against him. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is killing those who deserve to die.”</p>
<p>He turned to leave, to go do exactly as he’d said he would and excise the disease that had set itself upon the monastery, and as he did so, the monster glanced back, to ensure that the demon who was divine was following. He did not intend to let her out of his sight ever again.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Byleth was not the only one who had returned to the monastery that day. All of the Blue Lions, those who had been friends of the man he used to be, had returned. Along with Gustave, still going by the name Gilbert in the presence of others.</p>
<p>Dimitri had almost run Sylvain through with his lance when the man dared to call Byleth beautiful upon their reunion--not incorrect, but she was not Sylvain’s to appreciate. If Byleth had smiled at Sylvain, he would have slain him on the spot.</p>
<p>But she did not smile, not even as they all gathered together after cleansing the town of the filth that had infested it. Not even as everyone expressed their surprise and elation at Byleth’s return.</p>
<p>And his own survival, but he hadn’t really survived--there were only vestigial scraps of the prince left within him that had not been consumed by the beast. But if they wanted to aid him in destroying the Empire, in taking everything from Edelgard as she had done to him before he finally took her head, then he would not stop them.</p>
<p>Dimitri found himself standing outside the door to the knight’s hall, listening in on Gilbert and Byleth.</p>
<p>Byleth claimed she had been under the rubble where she had fallen all this time, that she had just woken up that morning. Five years. She’d supposedly slept for five years. And that entire time, she had been there, where the soldier had been peering over the edge, where he himself had peered over the edge and seen nothing but rubble. Rubble that she must have been buried under.</p>
<p>If only he had looked harder that day… He could have found her, and things could have been different. She’d come back, but now it was far too late. He was far too stained, too broken.</p>
<p><i>You are still needed, Dimitri.</i> If only she meant that <i>she</i> needed him. But even if that were the case, he couldn’t be the man that she needed him to be. He was nothing but a monster now. And the truth was that he’d never been that man, he’d always been a beast.</p>
<p>Gilbert explained to her how the witch had betrayed him, and then encouraged Byleth to rest.</p>
<p>Dimitri hid out of sight as Byleth left, no doubt heading back to her old room. When she was gone, he stepped into the knight’s hall where Gilbert’s eyebrows rose.</p>
<p>“Your Highness?” the man questioned before bowing deeply. “I did not realize you were here. I was actually hoping to speak with you.”</p>
<p>“Save your breath, Gilbert, I heard everything.” He paused to fix the man with a stare. “Or should I call you Gustave, as it is just the two of us?”</p>
<p>Gilbert frowned. “I see… so you were listening, then. I assure you, I wish only to serve you, Your Highness.”</p>
<p>Dimitri grunted in response. He wouldn’t stop them from helping him, so long as none of them got in his way. Gilbert had done nothing to gain his ill will, aside from being the one who rescued him from Duscur--he still wished the man had arrived just a little later, so he could have died as well.</p>
<p>Gilbert’s gaze moved to the doors that Byleth had left through. “It is truly a blessing that Byleth survived somehow and has returned…”</p>
<p><i>This changes nothing,</i> Glenn hissed.</p>
<p>Dimitri did not have blessings in his life. Her return was many things--a distraction that he could not afford, a punishment to be tempted with something he could never have, a curse upon her to keep her forever by his side.</p>
<p>But just as it had been five years ago, he still couldn’t stay away. Even if it was a curse, he did not intend to let her slip away ever again. She was a plague that he could not cleanse from his mind, his heart, his soul. She had corrupted and consumed every piece of him. He was a contradiction, he knew. He was unworthy to stand before her, but he was a glutton for punishment, and he was unwilling to let her go.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. The Delusional Prince</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions defend the monastery from an attack by the Imperial army.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights (but there is a lot more doubling up post-timeskip).</p>
<p>Managed to get a biweekly update in this week! Valley of Torment will be up on Friday! I think I might be able to pull off one more next week, but I'll have a better idea on Friday and will try to let everyone know what to expect.</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Voices - Against the Current<br/>Army - Besomorph, Arcando, Neoni<br/>Snuff - Slipknot</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>Gilbert summoned me to the entrance hall in the morning. I was grateful for the excuse to leave my room after a sleepless night, to not have to lie in bed tossing and turning as the fear of sleeping battled with the exhaustion I was feeling.</p>
<p>The Knights of Seiros had arrived sooner than expected, having already been heading back to the monastery in case any clues presented themselves on the intended day of the millennium festival.</p>
<p>Seteth rushed up to me. “You! So, you were alive after all.” The relief in his voice was palpable.</p>
<p>“Byleth! It is so good to see you. My brother and I were worried about you,” Flayn said with a bright smile.</p>
<p>Alois clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Ah, thank the goddess… I couldn’t bear the thought of letting Jeralt down by not finding you. I promised him I’d keep you safe, you know.”</p>
<p>“Guess you lucked out,” Shamir said with a shake of her head.</p>
<p>“We’ve been looking everywhere for you! But… I see Lady Rhea isn’t with you. Damn,” Catherine said with a frown.</p>
<p>“Everyone was real worried about you,” Cyril chimed in.</p>
<p>“Gilbert told us everything. We are at your disposal!” A knight assured me.</p>
<p>“It does my heart well to see that all of you are safe,” Gilbert said with a nod to the Knights of Seiros. “Now that we have all gathered, let’s discuss our next course of action.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>We moved quickly from the entrance hall to the knight’s hall, joined soon after by the Blue Lions and Dimitri.</p>
<p>“We have two objectives… to overthrow the Empire and to rescue Rhea,” Seteth declared to the room. “I have no objection to joining forces with you. After all, our interests are aligned.”</p>
<p>If I was being honest, my only objective was to overthrow the Empire, and that was because it was Dimitri’s objective. But if we did rescue Rhea, I would question her about exactly what she had done to me.</p>
<p>Gilbert offered Seteth a grateful bow. “Nothing could be more reassuring than securing the cooperation of the Knights of Seiros.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I said to Seteth, and I did mean it. Regardless of my feelings about Rhea, I could not object to having more troops at our disposal. Gilbert had brought a small number of loyal knights with him from the Kingdom, but not nearly enough.</p>
<p>“The archbishop entrusted all of her affairs to you,” Seteth responded with a nod towards me. “From now on, I shall comply with your wishes.”</p>
<p>I stared mutely at him as the words sunk in. The Knights of Seiros were not just cooperating with us, but they were mine to command.</p>
<p>“We’ll make Garreg Mach our base, and prepare to make our stand against the Empire,” Gilbert declared. “There is a fair amount of damage, but we will at least have shelter from the wind and the rain.”</p>
<p>“Surely those Imperial jerks have this place staked out, right?” Catherine questioned. “It’s a highly strategic location.”</p>
<p>Gilbert shook his head. “While it may be a strategic location, it’s too far from the front lines to be worthy of notice at the moment. This area is inconvenient as far as transport time is concerned, so it’s of little importance to their war effort.”</p>
<p>Seteth frowned. “Even so, nothing slips past the emperor. It is safe to assume she at least has this place under surveillance.”</p>
<p>Gilbert turned to me. “Byleth… What do you think of making this place our base?”</p>
<p>“Gathering resources would be difficult,” I admitted. “But I have no objections.” It didn’t seem like we had anywhere else to set up as a base, and the monastery would provide a central location that was at least somewhat defensible.</p>
<p>“That is a valid concern,” Gilbert agreed. “Fortunately, there are still villages and hamlets nearby. And though I wouldn’t call them abundant, we have war funds, as well. What do you think, Your Highness?”</p>
<p>I had woken up in a village nearby, and while they weren’t in good shape, it was true that there were still people around.</p>
<p>“Do as you please,” Dimitri said callously as he folded his arms across his chest.</p>
<p>“Hey! Don’t act like this doesn’t concern you!” Annette pleaded with him. “We finally reunited after all this time… We’ve got to work together!”</p>
<p>Sylvain nodded. “She’s right. In fact, why don’t we all join forces and clean this place up a bit?”</p>
<p>“Ooh, yeah!” Annette agreed excitedly. “That’s a great idea! And it’ll give us time to reminisce about all the good old days at the academy. I can’t wait!”</p>
<p>“How carefree of you,” Dimitri said bitterly.</p>
<p>Ashe looked around nervously. “It may sound trivial, but… Well, I think it’s a good idea…”</p>
<p>“I understand feeling impatient, Your Highness. But patience is key at a time like this,” Gilbert attempted to soothe. “If we fix up our base, it will improve morale, which will be sorely needed as we--”</p>
<p>“Fools,” Dimitri silenced him.</p>
<p>“Let’s all settle down,” I said gently, shooting a glance at the others, willing them to hold their tongues. I understood that they were likely doing their best to cope themselves, but things were not alright. Things had not been alright since I woke up, and things had not been alright before I’d died either--things had not been alright since my father had died.</p>
<p>“Stay out of this,” Dimitri shot back at me, and my heart ached at the hurt that flashed in his eye.</p>
<p>“Please calm yourself, Your Highness,” Gilbert implored him. “We are not your enemies.”</p>
<p>“My enemies say the same,” Dimitri responded sharply. And then he turned on his heel and walked out, sparing none of us a second glance.</p>
<p>“What happened to him?” Felix asked in his wake. “It’s like he’s a completely different person.”</p>
<p>“I feel so bad for him… Would it help if I brewed him a nice pot of tea?” Mercedes wondered aloud.</p>
<p>I almost leapt on her from across the room as fury flooded through me. <i>I’m sure a nice pot of tea would fix him right up,</i> I thought to myself bitterly as my fists clenched at my sides. But I knew she was just trying to help, and my rage was more at my own uselessness, my own inability to reach him.</p>
<p>“I cannot claim to understand how he feels,” Gilbert said. “However… The way he’s behaving--it's as though he’s being haunted by some unseen force.”</p>
<p>“I’m worried,” I admitted. I hadn’t wanted to say it aloud, but the truth was that I was sick with it. He hadn’t always been like this.</p>
<p>“As am I,” Gilbert agreed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It seemed that Dimitri had decided to spend his time in the cathedral, staring at the rubble. He didn’t speak to me. He didn’t speak to anyone.</p>
<p>Felix caught me as I was cleaning up amidst the pews. “We should spar sometime, make sure you haven’t gotten rusty.”</p>
<p>I met his gaze and nodded. Sparring seemed like a good way to release the agitation and unease that was steadily building within me.</p>
<p>“And… I have a request concerning that… creature,” Felix continued, shooting a glance to where Dimitri stood. “I can hardly look at the thing in the state it’s in. Do something about it.”</p>
<p>I stared numbly at him. I didn’t know if there was anything I could do. Not when I was too cowardly to even reach for him. Not when I feared every second that I would turn around and he would be gone.</p>
<p>Felix seemed to read my hesitation. “Don’t just give up like that.” His expression softened. “You’re probably the only one who <i>can</i> do something.”</p>
<p>“I’ll see what I can do,” I said softly. I wanted nothing more than to bridge the growing gap, but I didn’t know how.</p>
<p>“Please do. We tracked the boar for five years. I thought he was dead. In the state he’s in, he might as well be. He’s gotten better at killing people, and in exchange, surrendered what little humanity he had.” Felix turned his gaze back to Dimitri.</p>
<p>And I did too, only to find him watching the two of us talking. But the moment our eyes met, he turned away.</p>
<p>In the five years we’d been apart, he’d built thick walls between us. But he hadn’t built a fortress around himself, he had built a tomb. I’d had the same kind of walls around myself once, a tomb that was only breached by him. And just like he had once done for me, I desperately wanted to exhume him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>While my own mood remained subdued, the suggestion to clean up the monastery had been a good one and morale seemed improved by the time I joined the Blue Lions for dinner.</p>
<p>Ingrid explained to me that many Kingdom houses had become vassals of the Empire, but there were major houses in the east such as Fraldarius, Gautier, Charon, and her own family, Galatea, who remained loyal and fought against the Dukedom.</p>
<p>Sylvain listened quietly where he sat at her side, his bluster gone as he expressed that it had been a difficult five years. But they both agreed there was hope in the air with Dimitri and me reunited with them.</p>
<p>It was Ashe who suggested a toast to Dedue, remarking quietly on how gentle he had been with the flowers in the greenhouse. We had nothing to really toast with, on a strict ration as we tried to make our supplies last, but each of the Blue Lions raised their cup of water to our comrade. Ashe promised that when we no longer needed to have such rations, that he would try to cook some of the dishes from Duscur that he’d learned from Dedue, in his honor.</p>
<p>“When we have enough supplies, I think everyone would like that,” I told him. And I silently cursed myself, because I had almost said <i>if</i> instead of <i>when</i>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Sleep evaded me for a second night. I had managed to drift off once, but I immediately plunged into a nightmare of falling. I woke screaming, drenched in a cold sweat, and was shaken enough that I did not want to attempt to close my eyes again.</p>
<p>I ended up in the greenhouse. Dedue would have despaired to see the disrepair it had fallen into, with many of the flowers wilting from a lack of care. But in the corner, there was a group of blossoms with large, pale yellow petals with a thin line of fuschia up the center. Flowers from Duscur, that had thrived despite not being watered in five years.</p>
<p>I sat next to the flowers, recalling when I’d spoken with Dedue and he’d told me they preferred a dry environment, when I’d first gotten through to him.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you for doing what I could not. Thank you for saving him.”</p>
<p>I passed the time that night in the greenhouse, trying to breathe life back into the garden, one step at a time.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Gilbert found me in the evening after another day of cleaning to deliver a report. “We have given a proper burial to the Imperial soldiers killed in the monastery. The ones who were sent to investigate the thieves. Already, rumors spread that they were utterly annihilated. So regardless of whether there are spies observing us, the Imperial army will know of this soon enough.” He shook his head. “Your Highness… Dimitri… How could you be so reckless?”</p>
<p>Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the slight pang of hunger from our meager, rationed meals. But I couldn’t stop myself when I reproachfully responded, “What was he supposed to do? Let them live?”</p>
<p>Gilbert let out a heavy sigh. “You’re right, of course. I had just hoped we would have more time before having to face them. At present, our forces are lacking and the probability of victory is low. We unfortunately seem like just a small band of rebels. But I will not give up on His Highness.”</p>
<p>My tone was gentler when I promised, “I won’t give up on him either.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was so exhausted. I had barely slept in days, so afraid of losing time, afraid of losing much more than just time. And the longer I went without resting, the more wasted my body felt, the fear only intensified.</p>
<p>I felt on edge, and I could have sworn I heard my father’s voice whispering in my ear, <i>Stay on your guard.</i> Advice that I had not followed and it had nearly cost me everything.</p>
<p>I didn’t know when I’d even gotten to the cathedral. Some part of me was just inherently drawn to him--I'd always been drawn to him. Or maybe I had come to see the one thing I still had left, the one thing I feared losing above all else.</p>
<p>I didn’t go in. I stood at the balcony, staring off the edge at the chasm below. So far below. So far to fall. And then I was falling, falling, falling.</p>
<p>But I did not fall into oblivion. I fell back against something solid as strong arms wrapped around me from behind and the scent of a snowy forest surrounded me, the scent of home.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with you.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t a question. It was a demand.</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” I breathed. But I wasn’t fine. And neither was he.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with you,” Dimitri repeated. He turned me around and gripped under my chin, forcing my head up to meet his gaze.</p>
<p>“I can’t sleep,” I mumbled.</p>
<p>“You almost passed out just now,” he countered, his blue eye narrowing.</p>
<p>And under his heavy stare, I finally whispered, “What if I sleep for five years again?”</p>
<p>I saw it then. The understanding that flickered in his eye, his expression.</p>
<p>He started to lead me, but when my legs threatened to give out, he picked me up and wordlessly carried me in his arms. I let my head rest against his chest, and the selfish part of me wished I could stay there, letting the steady beating of his heart lull me to sleep. But he took me to one of the pews in the empty cathedral and set me down.</p>
<p>“Sleep here. I’ll wake you.”</p>
<p>His expression was hard enough that I believed him. I let him roughly peel my jacket off and crumple it up into a makeshift pillow. As I laid down, he rose to his feet and returned to his vigil over the rubble.</p>
<p>Even as the fear and panic closed in when I shut my eyes, I reminded myself that he was there, that he would wake me. I thought I even heard him whisper, “I won’t forgive you if you leave me again.” I wouldn’t forgive myself either.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was falling again. Plummeting down into an abyss with no end, surrounded by darkness. And I was screaming. Screaming as loud as I could to try and get help, to get someone to reach out a hand and catch me as I fell. But I kept falling, plunging into glacial depths that locked up my frigid soul.</p>
<p>Just when I was certain that I was going to die here, warmth swept over me, thawing the icy panic as I heard someone tell me, “I’m here, Byleth. Always.”</p>
<p>And with those words in my mind, soothing the brokenness in my heart, I finally settled into a more peaceful sleep.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Light was filtering in around me when I woke. I groaned as I adjusted on the hard wood but nestled down further in the warm fur against my cheek. And then I remembered how and where I’d fallen asleep. My eyes fluttered open.</p>
<p>I was lying on a pew in the cathedral. My jacket was still crumpled up beneath my head, and tucked around me, warding off the cold of the winter morning, was Dimitri’s cloak. I wanted to close my eyes and wrap myself in this gesture, in his scent, and pretend that we weren’t broken.</p>
<p>The only person that I truly wanted to put up a strong front for was the only one who was able to see just how broken I really was. My body may have healed, but the fall and subsequent five years--<i>five years</i>--that I had missed had shattered something in my mind, too.</p>
<p>But in the morning light, after finally having slept, I knew that my moment of weakness had to be over. I’d told Dimitri that he was still needed, but I realized with clarity that maybe I was still needed too.</p>
<p>I gave myself one more moment to soak in the feel of his cloak and then I rose to my feet. I retrieved my jacket and pulled it on, smoothing the wrinkles from its night spent as a pillow.</p>
<p>I looked around for Dimitri, noticeably absent from his watch before the debris. I feared for a moment that he had left, but then I saw him. Behind the wreckage, in the corner of the room, he sat, slumped against the wall. My heart sank as I understood--out of sight and defensible.</p>
<p>I approached quietly. His eye was closed, and in sleep he looked almost peaceful. I laid the cloak back over him, wondering how cold his night must have been. I gently placed my hand against his cheek, and I knew for certain that he was asleep because rather than cursing me or recoiling, he leaned into the touch.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m here now. Always.”</p>
<p>And then before he could wake, I was retreating. I had far too much work to do to waste time--troops to rally, armies to organize, supplies to procure. If he wanted Edelgard’s head, I would do what I could to deliver it.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was afternoon by the time I made my way back to the cathedral. To make sure he hadn’t slipped away, to remind myself what I was preparing to fight for, to see if he’d talk to me in the light of day.</p>
<p>“You’re wrong,” Dimitri’s voice sounded as I neared. But he wasn’t speaking to me. He was facing the rubble, continuing his watch. “It’s not like that, Glenn. I swear it. Any love I once had for my stepsister… has been tossed aside. Only hatred remains. If I could tear that woman to shreds right this very moment, I would. I don’t care if she’s the emperor. It’s no different than killing anyone else. Of course not, even with her return, I must still avenge all of you. She will not be a distraction. So I beg you… all of you… Do not worry about my resolve. Please, Father… And you too, Stepmother… Do not gaze at me with that look in your eyes… I will bring you her head soon. And when I do, you may finally rest in peace. I know it… Yes, I know it…”</p>
<p><i>Even with her return.</i> I clenched my hands at my sides to keep from reaching for him. Reaching for him as he spoke aloud to those he had lost, as if they spoke to him too, as if they haunted him like he had thought I was doing on the morning we had reunited. I felt powerless, seeing him so close and yet unable to reach out for fear of him pulling farther from me.</p>
<p>“What is troubling you?” I finally asked, willing my voice to not tremble with the ache in my heart.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” he asked, turning his head slightly to the left, the side where he still could see, but not looking at me.</p>
<p>“I came to check on you.” I did not add that it was because I could not stay away, that it was because I had already missed five years and I was terrified of what would happen if I missed any more time at his side.</p>
<p>“I see.” He turned back to face where he’d been looking, at nothing. “We should make haste and prepare to move out at once. I must kill her as soon as possible…”</p>
<p>“We must first prepare.” And I was trying, but even with the return of the Knights of Seiros, we didn’t have enough troops to make a stand against the Empire. We would go, and we would die, <i>he</i> would die, and I couldn’t allow that.</p>
<p>Dimitri finally turned, settling his single blue eye on me. “We have no time to leisurely set up camp. If I must, I will go by myself.”</p>
<p>I opened my mouth to argue. To try and convince him to stay. To relent and tell him that if he absolutely insisted on going, I would follow him to die at his side. But Gilbert’s arrival silenced me.</p>
<p>“Pardon the interruption,” the old knight said, a hint of panic causing his voice to waver. “We must prepare a counterattack at once. The Imperial army has caught wind of our position. It would seem they were patrolling this place, after all.”</p>
<p>“The Imperial army, is it? Well, well.” Dimitri trailed off with a short, quiet laugh.</p>
<p>“Your Highness…” Gilbert bowed, but his brow was furrowed. “I ask that you please refrain from reckless behavior in battle.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>By the time we were able to mobilize everyone, the Imperial force was at the gates. Just as they had been five years ago.</p>
<p>“There are more enemies than expected,” Gilbert lamented. “If they reach the interior, we won’t be able to protect the monastery.”</p>
<p>I looked out ahead to where the Blue Lions were already beginning to engage--no longer students, but soldiers commanding small battalions. And Dimitri, charging ahead into the fray, leaving a path of carnage in his wake. But Gilbert was right. With the meager forces we had, it would be a very difficult battle.</p>
<p>There was one thing that could turn the tides, or at least give us a real chance--the power of the progenitor god. I stepped forward, hoping that I could rally the strength I needed. Hoping that the power I had been gifted would obey me like it had on the day I’d died.</p>
<p>“Byleth--” Gilbert began, but he fell quiet behind me as I closed my eyes and lifted my hands in front of me.</p>
<p>I turned my focus inward, hunting for that well of primal, ancient power. But it found me instead. I felt it wrap itself around me, like an old companion pulling me into an embrace. Like Sothis, reminding me that I was not as alone as I often felt in the wake of her silence. Reminding me that she may not be able to speak with me, but that she was here somewhere inside me. Just like the day when she had woken me up, because she knew there was someone waiting for me. Someone that I would not fail now, as I had failed five years ago.</p>
<p>And it was with that anger, that passion, in my heart that I opened my eyes. Sothis had been she who died and then returned. I, too, had died and then returned. But my return would mark the advent of a new kind of goddess, one bent on vengeance, a harbinger of destruction. A return to the demon I was always meant to be.</p>
<p>I settled my gaze on the bulk of the army that had not yet reached the gates. Stones hovered off the ground around me as sparks danced around my fingers. And then I brought my hands crashing down on either side of me, and just like that day five years ago, a boom cracked and reverberated across the battlefield. Lightning crashed down from the sky and in its fallout, there was nothing but the death I had heralded in and rained down where a section of the Imperial army had stood before.</p>
<p>I tried to rally myself for a second strike, but there was nothing left. When I reached again for that power, I found nothing but smoke and the whispers of some titan that had gone back to rest. <i>This power is not infinite,</i> I could almost hear Sothis remind me.</p>
<p>Gilbert stared at me, his face pale--a mixture of fear and awe. But I did not wait to hear whatever words he had for me. I drew the Sword of the Creator from my hip and charged into the remaining forces, trying to cut a path to where I could make out Dimitri in the fray.</p>
<p>I was almost to him when I heard someone cry out, “Reinforcements!”</p>
<p>“Damn,” I cursed, turning towards the gates where their commander was surely stationed. I caught sight of Dimitri, almost there, but he was frozen, staring not in the direction of the oncoming forces, but at me, with a look of horror upon his face.</p>
<p>“Byleth! Get down!” he screamed across the field.</p>
<p>And when I looked up, I saw why. The reinforcements had included a band of archers and there was a cloud of arrows flying through the sky, all arcing towards me. I’d undoubtedly made myself a target when I’d delivered my devastating blow.</p>
<p>I didn’t have time. But before I could even try to move, I was thrown to the ground as something crashed into me. I blinked and realized the solid thing that had crashed into me was Dimitri, still on top of me, shielding my body with his own.</p>
<p>I couldn’t see his face, his chest was pressed up against my head, where even through his armor, through the din of the battle, I could hear the rhythm of his heart. But then I heard him grunt in pain and felt the impact as several arrows met their mark--him.</p>
<p>Despite the injury, he was already up and moving the moment the rain of arrows had stopped. A wordless cry of rage rose up from him and then he was charging towards the enemy general while the other Blue Lions routed the reinforcements.</p>
<p>I rose to my feet and ran after him.</p>
<p>I was close enough to see the general’s face pale as he caught sight of Dimitri before him. “A one-eyed demon… So, it’s you. You’re the one who’s been going around killing the Imperial troops!”</p>
<p>It took me a second to realize that the general was referring to Dimitri with the word <i>demon</i> and not me.</p>
<p>“What is it to you?” Dimitri asked as he adjusted his grip on his lance. Arrows still stuck out from his back, but it was with a flood of relief that I realized they hadn’t pierced too deeply through his armor.</p>
<p>“You bastard!” the general yelled. “Life is worthless to you, isn’t it?!”</p>
<p>Dimitri laughed. “You took the words from my mouth, General!”</p>
<p>And then he took the man down to his knees in one blow.</p>
<p>“No… This can’t end here…” the man cried out.</p>
<p>“Capture him,” Dimitri ordered the small group of Kingdom soldiers that had arrived with Gilbert.</p>
<p>“A terrible battle, yet Garreg Mach still stands,” Gilbert said with relief, before looking to Dimitri. “Your Highness?”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The chaos after a battle was never pleasant. Dimitri had at least removed the arrows jutting out of him before wandering off--I assumed to find the prisoner he had secured. I briefly assessed our losses, which turned out to be surprisingly few, before wandering off myself to find him.</p>
<p>“I have family waiting for me… Please. I can’t die here…”</p>
<p>I followed the sound of the commander’s pleading to a side street where I could see him tied and bound, on his knees before Dimitri.</p>
<p>“A beast of your depravity, prattling on about family? How amusing,” Dimitri sneered at him.</p>
<p>“As though you could understand… such a thing as love… You heartless monster!”</p>
<p>But Dimitri was not the heartless one--I was. I was the one with a heart that did not beat, a heart that had been taught to love by the prince. The prince who had dropped everything in that battle to save me, to shield my body with his own.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s eye narrowed at the commander’s words. I would’ve given anything to know what he was thinking. “You are a monster too, General. You have just yet to realize it. A monster who thinks he’s a man… despicable. As a general, you must have killed countless souls without a shred of mercy. Do you still remember the sound of them begging, just as you’re begging now? Or, now that your life is at its end, will you hold to the lie that your hands are not stained red with blood?”</p>
<p>The commander shook his head. “This… this is war. I did what I had to for the Empire… for the people… for my family!”</p>
<p>“So, you are piling up corpses for the people and for your family,” Dimitri drawled. “And I am doing the same for the salvation of the dead… After all is said and done, we are both murderers. Both stained. Both monsters.”</p>
<p>“You’re wrong!” the commander cried out desperately.</p>
<p>“Am I?” Dimitri asked sharply. “I can smell the rotting flesh upon your hands even now, General.”</p>
<p>“Enough! That’s enough!” The commander was shaking.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s lips split into a wicked grin. “I won’t kill you right away, my fellow monster. Unless you object to watching your friends die. One… by… one.” He knelt down, bringing them to eye level and then lashed out, gripping the man’s head with his hands, his thumbs hovering over the man’s eyes. “If so, I will do you the service of removing your eyes first so that--”</p>
<p>I was moving before I could really think about what I was doing. It was almost like when I had killed Lonato, deciding that I would rather have my own hands stained than the young man who felt such compassion that he struggled to take out the militia we had battled against. I didn’t doubt Dimitri’s words or his resolve in that moment, didn’t doubt that he had tortured Imperial soldiers before now, but I knew that I could prevent him from doing so right now, and prevent another stain that I knew, deep down, that young man--and the man he was now--would regret.</p>
<p>I struck and the general’s dying words rang out, “Fleche… Please, forgive me…”</p>
<p>As the man’s blood pooled at our feet, Dimitri rose to his own, fixing me with a harsh glare. “What is the meaning of this?” he demanded, his voice full of ire.</p>
<p>I held his gaze defiantly. “I couldn’t bear to watch.”</p>
<p>He stared at me in silence for a second and then he laughed--a wild, unsettling sound. “A grievous error, Byleth! Tell me, would you approve if I instead spilled his guts and dragged them out of him?”</p>
<p>The words stung. He’d called the general his fellow monster, but really, his fellow monster was me. If anyone was stained, reeking of rotting flesh, it was me. “I miss the Dimitri I once knew,” I said quietly. The Dimitri who had been horrified by the depravity of our actions.</p>
<p>As soon as the words had left my lips, I wished I could take them back. I even tried. I reached within myself and tried to grab hold of the pulse of time, but that thing that lurked beneath my skin was still sleeping, out of reach. Out of reach just like Dimitri, and there was nothing I could do to take back the hurt that flashed in his eye.</p>
<p>“The Dimitri you once knew is dead,” he hissed at me. “All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you. If you do not approve of what I have become, then kill me.”</p>
<p>I tightened my grip on the sword still in my hand and his eye widened slightly, as if he really believed I’d do it. But I would not, I could not. Instead, I threw the Relic at his feet in disgust at the very idea.</p>
<p>He glanced at the blade on the ground and back to me. “If you insist that you cannot… then I will continue to use you and your friends until the flesh falls from your bones.” He turned and started stalking away.</p>
<p>“Dimitri.”</p>
<p>He stopped, his posture going stiff, but he did not look back.</p>
<p>“I will be your weapon. Wield me as you see fit. And… no matter what happens or what anyone may say, know that I plan to stand by you. Through anything. Until the bitter end.”</p>
<p>He finally glanced back, and in that split second, I knew that my words had hit their mark. They didn’t fix the earlier words that I’d said. Nothing would. But I knew that he recognized the words I’d just given back to him, even as he turned away again and left me standing in the blood of the Imperial general alone.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It wasn’t until hours later that we all gathered in the cardinal’s room on the second floor of the monastery. It was a room I’d never been in as a professor, but it seemed a perfect place for war councils. Two long tables ran up the middle of the room, with a third shorter table connecting them at the end of the far wall, where a map of Fódlan hung.</p>
<p>I stood beside Dimitri as we faced Gilbert, the Blue Lions, and Seteth.</p>
<p>“We managed to repel the Imperial army,” Gilbert said with a meaningful glance at me. “But we remain divided on our next course of action. I anticipate a second and third wave of attack… With our current forces, we’ll have our hands full just defending.”</p>
<p>“It’s a miracle we managed to repel the Imperial army with the few units and resources we do have,” Sylvain agreed seriously. “We’re lucky we have Byleth--she's worth more than a whole army.”</p>
<p>Dimitri scowled at him.</p>
<p>“We should probably contact Rodrigue right away to request backup,” Annette suggested.</p>
<p>Gilbert pondered her words for a moment. “Rodrigue is in a difficult position, as he has suffered invasions by the Dukedom. But there are troops who share in our cause gathering in the heart of Fraldarius territory. If we can arrange for them to join us, our forces will grow considerably.”</p>
<p>“Fraldarius… So, Rodrigue is still alive, is he?” Dimitri pondered, his scowl breaking as just for a moment, he sounded hopeful.</p>
<p>Felix’s father, who Dimitri had once told me had loved him like his own son, who Dimitri had once told me he looked up to and one day wanted to be like. “We met five years ago,” I recalled.</p>
<p>“So you did,” Dimitri agreed.</p>
<p>“I wonder what my old man will say when he sees you now,” Felix said with a smirk. “That spectacle alone will be worth the trip.”</p>
<p>Dimitri grunted at him. And I wondered if Felix knew how deep those words had the potential to hit. Felix, who hated his father as much as Dimitri loved him.</p>
<p>“I’ve already sent word with our fastest messenger informing Rodrigue that His Highness is alive,” Gilbert expressed quickly, likely to try and break through the tension. “But we’d do well to send another in case anything happens to the first. With the current state of things, we’ll be completely helpless without his support.” He looked at Dimitri. “Your Highness, may I ask what your next plan of attack is? Should we dispatch our troops to the Kingdom capital or to the Imperial capital?”</p>
<p>“We will take the Imperial capital. There, I will kill her,” Dimitri responded. “We end the war and chase away the lingering regrets of the dead. Nothing could be more to the point.”</p>
<p>Annette shook her head nervously. “Uh, that may be true, but don’t forget that your people need our help right now…”</p>
<p>“Your Highness… I hate them too,” Ingrid said gently. “But the citizens of Fhirdiad have long awaited your return.”</p>
<p>“Just give it up already. Wasting time thinking about stuff like that will only dull your blade,” Sylvain said with a shrug.</p>
<p>Ashe looked around hesitantly. “Defeating Edelgard would put an end to the war. That would benefit the Kingdom as well…”</p>
<p>“We still need to look for Lady Rhea, so I agree that we should get to Enbarr as fast as possible,” Mercedes stated.</p>
<p>Seteth looked at me. “Byleth… Whatever you decide, we shall follow.”</p>
<p>I frowned at all of them.</p>
<p>They needed Dimitri to be a king and take back his throne, defending the Kingdom that my father had hailed from. And if the day’s battle was any indication, we didn’t have the troops to march on Enbarr, no matter how strong any of us were.</p>
<p>But then I looked at the man standing at my side who felt so far from me, and I was terrified of that new divide growing and watching him slip away. And he was staring at me, waiting for my answer, to see if I understood <i>him</i> or if I understood what his crown demanded.</p>
<p>I didn’t care about anything so grand as saving the world--I cared about saving Dimitri.</p>
<p>“Let’s take down Enbarr, the Imperial capital,” I finally said.</p>
<p>“Yes… It is the only way,” Dimitri breathed and I thought I heard relief in his tone.</p>
<p>Gilbert glanced between the two of us. “Either way, we are in need of numbers. It is essential that we secure backup.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>That night, I hesitantly made my way back to the cathedral. The day had felt impossibly long, and I knew that I needed to sleep, but the thought still filled me with cold dread. Dimitri was there. He glanced at me as I entered and then quickly looked away. But when I got to the pew where I’d spent the night before, I saw a soft, blue blanket folded at one end of it.</p>
<p>There were too many words I needed to say and none of them were the right words. Especially not the words that I wanted to say most of all--the words that had been one of the last things on my mind before I died. So I said nothing as I laid on the stiff wood and drew the blanket over myself.</p>
<p>I closed my eyes, but just as exhaustion started to pull me down, I whispered quietly, so the words were known only to myself, “I love you.”</p>
<p>And that was how we began to spend every night--hiding out in the cathedral, not speaking, but there.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>They were nothing but fools, all of them. Even Byleth was a fool, chastising and taking their side like she didn’t understand. She was supposed to understand. While they all casually reminisced about halcyon days, the dead were suffering endlessly. And there was only one thing that would end it, one thing that would silence them.</p>
<p>He did not intend to join them in their pointless reverie, instead opting to stay in the cathedral, staring at the debris of what used to be. No one bothered with him, not even Byleth bothered with him as she moved amongst the pews. But Felix bothered with her.</p>
<p>When they had first met, he’d thought she and Felix were similar in the way they savored their blades. Now the thought filled him with resentment, she was supposed to be the same as <i>him</i>, not Felix.</p>
<p><i>You’re getting distracted,</i> Glenn scolded him. <i>My brother is far better for her than you. Nobody wants you. Everyone who loved you is dead, because you failed them.</i></p>
<p>Glenn was right. But it didn’t stop the longing, the craving. It didn’t stop the way he yearned for her. He absolutely ached with it as he watched her talking to Felix. Until they both turned to look at him, and when his gaze met hers, he quickly turned away. But he could still see those spring green eyes when he closed his own.</p>
<hr/>
<p>He didn’t know why she was there. He had no intention of speaking with her, or with anyone. He had nothing to say that had not already been said. But Byleth had not entered the cathedral, she was standing at the edge of the balcony, looking into the depths. Not unlike the time he’d found her staring off on their first visit to the Red Canyon.</p>
<p>And not unlike the Imperial soldier he’d seen staring from the edge of the cliff five years ago. It was that memory that had sent him closer, fighting the urge to pull her back from the ledge as the words <i>She fell</i> echoed over and over in his mind.</p>
<p>But then she wasn’t just standing there, she <i>was</i> falling. And Dimitri was moving before he could think, catching her against his chest and wrapping his arms around her to support her.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with you,” he demanded.</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” she murmured.</p>
<p>He grit his teeth. She was many things, but she hadn’t ever been a liar. Until now. “What’s wrong with you,” he repeated as he turned her in his arms and looked down at her. He grabbed her by the chin as she refused to meet his gaze, forcing her eyes to his.</p>
<p>“I can’t sleep,” she said softly.</p>
<p>Another lie. He tried not to squeeze her chin too hard as he glared at her. “You almost passed out just now.” She looked worn out, her normally vibrant eyes a mess of dark shadows and her lips were pale rather than their usual pink. How had no one said anything to her when she was obviously not well?</p>
<p>She stared up at him, finally looking focused as she whispered, “What if I sleep for five years again?”</p>
<p>He’d thought her absence when she disappeared into the darkness had been torture. It was nothing compared to the torment he’d endured for the last five years. The torment that had driven him to become irredeemable.</p>
<p>If she disappeared again… he couldn’t even imagine. The pain it would inflict upon him. The pain he would inflict upon the world. The way it would break him when he hadn’t thought it possible for his soul to shatter any more.</p>
<p>If that was what she was afraid of, then he wouldn’t let her out of his sight. He dropped her chin but took her hand, pulling her into the cathedral. But her legs were unsteady and when she stumbled behind him, he turned and swept her up into his arms.</p>
<p>She did not object as he lifted her. She was so much smaller than she’d been the previous times he’d held her. Or maybe he was bigger. She settled into the cradle of his arms, her head pressing against his chest. It was comfortable. Too comfortable.</p>
<p>It was both a relief and a tragedy when he reached the pew closest to the remains of the altar and let her go to sit.</p>
<p>“Sleep here. I’ll wake you,” he assured her. He would have no trouble being as rough as he needed to be to keep her from disappearing again.</p>
<p>She said nothing, just continued looking at him. He would not undress her as he once had, as he still longed to do. But he did reach out and pull her jacket off, tossing it to one end of the bench to cushion her head.</p>
<p>Once she started to lay down, he rose from where he was crouched and walked away. Her eyes closed not long after, and her troubled expression began to soften.</p>
<p>“I won’t forgive you if you leave me again,” he said quietly. He still hadn’t forgiven himself for ever letting her go.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The night was quiet after that, save for the constant murmuring of the dead. Dimitri had finally settled into what had become his resting place, a defensible corner that he could put his back into, when he heard a sound he recognized. A sound he had never wanted to hear again.</p>
<p>A scream of pure terror cut through the silence and reverberated around the high ceiling of the cathedral. A scream just like the one he’d heard five years ago.</p>
<p>He was at her side in an instant. Byleth was still lying on the pew where he’d left her, her eyes shut tightly, but she wasn’t screaming anymore. Her skin glistened and when Dimitri reached out to touch her arm, his hand came away coated with a cold sweat that he could feel through his gloves.</p>
<p>The cathedral was somewhere that he could ensure she did not slip away while she slept, but it was not warm, and the winter air was sure to chill her to the bone with the sweat covering her. Dimitri quickly slipped his cloak off and swept it over her, tucking it around her body to try and keep all the warmth in that he could. He’d done the same thing himself so many nights over the past five years as he fought to stay warm through the devastating Faerghus winters.</p>
<p>She stopped shivering, but she let out a small whimper. He couldn’t stop himself as he pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, “I’m here, Byleth. Always.” Just as he’d once told her.</p>
<p><i>It would be a nice sentiment if you weren’t lying,</i> Glenn mused.</p>
<p>And like always, Glenn was right. No matter how much he wished that it were not the case, he was lying. Because he would cleanse the regrets of the dead, and then he would finally submit to the eternal flames to be cleansed himself.</p>
<p>Glenn continued, <i>I’m not sure why you even want to be there for her, when she wasn’t there for--</i></p>
<p>Dimitri was whirling on the ghost with a growl, but the sound of heavy footsteps at the doorway to the cathedral drew his attention.</p>
<p>One of the soldiers Gilbert had brought with him took several steps in, and then froze as his gaze settled on Dimitri, rising to his feet.</p>
<p>“Get. Out,” he hissed at the man.</p>
<p>“I heard screaming, Your Highness,” the soldier said hesitantly.</p>
<p>Dimitri took one glance at Byleth, her expression finally softened with a restful sleep, before he took several steps towards the man. “There’s no one here. But you’ll be screaming soon if you don’t leave.”</p>
<p>The soldier took a step back, his eyes going wide. “Y-yes, Your Highness. I’ll be going then.”</p>
<p>Dimitri let out a shaky breath as the man left. It wasn’t his fault. But he was sure that Byleth wouldn’t want to be seen being quite so vulnerable, and more than that, he didn’t want anyone else to get to see her being so vulnerable. It was a piece of her just for him, as he wanted to selfishly cling to all of her just for himself.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri had stayed awake for a long time before he finally drifted off in his safe corner. Waiting to see if Byleth screamed again. Listening to the endless chanting of the dead in his ears. And willing the cold to not seep deep into his bones with only his armor to warm him.</p>
<p>He did not get much sleep, but light was pouring into the cathedral when he woke. Byleth was still there, but he did not want to face her, not in the light of day. So he sat and waited, closing his eye and resting his head against the wall.</p>
<p>He heard her stir, but instead of moving away from him, her footsteps grew closer. He kept his eye closed as she draped his cloak over him. Her scent settled over him too, having soaked into the fur and cloth from her night spent wrapped up in it. He wished that he could wrap himself in her, in her scent, her life, but he could not.</p>
<p>He waited for her to leave, but instead of hearing retreating footsteps, he felt warmth spread through him as she rested her hand against his cheek. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch, couldn’t stop the yearning that her caress conjured. Even a dead man was capable of desire, it seemed.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m here now. Always.”</p>
<p>She was here now, but he was not. She had come back, but it was far too late for him. And then she withdrew her hand, and his heart that he’d thought had grown incapable of feeling was drowned in anguish.</p>
<hr/>
<p><i>If you really wanted to kill Edelgard, you wouldn’t be wasting your time here,</i> Glenn hissed at him.</p>
<p>“You’re wrong. It’s not like that, Glenn,” Dimitri argued. “I swear it. Any love I once had for my stepsister… has been tossed aside. Only hatred remains. If I could tear that woman to shreds right this very moment, I would.”</p>
<p>
  <i>Are you sure you really can? A pathetic, repulsive rat like you against an emperor?</i>
</p>
<p>“I don’t care if she’s the emperor. It’s no different than killing anyone else,” Dimitri promised him. He’d killed enough people by now to know. So many. And it still was not enough.</p>
<p>Glenn sneered at him. <i>And what about now that the carcass you’ve revered for the last five years is walking around again? Will you forget about us?</i></p>
<p>There was no escaping the dead. He saw their eyes even if he closed his own. He heard their voices even if he covered his ears, even if he screamed to try to drown them out. He knew because he had tried.</p>
<p>“Of course not, even with her return, I must still avenge all of you. She will not be a distraction,” Dimitri assured the dead as he looked amongst them. “So I beg you… all of you… Do not worry about my resolve. Please, Father… And you too, Stepmother… Do not gaze at me with that look in your eyes… I will bring you her head soon. And when I do, you may finally rest in peace. I know it… Yes, I know it…”</p>
<p>“What is troubling you?” Byleth’s voice cut through the exchange. He hadn’t heard her approach.</p>
<p>He turned his head to the left where he could see her from the periphery of his vision. He wouldn’t be able to from the right side, not anymore. “What do you want?”</p>
<p>“I came to check on you,” she responded.</p>
<p>“I see.” It was pointless to check on him. He was as good as dead, and they were wasting time. “We should make haste and prepare to move out at once. I must kill her as soon as possible…”</p>
<p>The dead were demanding it. <i>Take her head take her head take her head.</i></p>
<p>“We must first prepare,” Byleth said.</p>
<p>He finally turned to face her, his hands clenching into fists. If she could hear them, she would know that there was no time to waste, she would know the endless suffering that he had to put a stop to. “We have no time to leisurely set up camp. If I must, I will go by myself.”</p>
<p>Her lips parted, and he noted their normal color had returned before Gilbert’s approach drew his attention.</p>
<p>“Pardon the interruption,” Gilbert said. “We must prepare a counterattack at once. The Imperial army has caught wind of our position. It would seem they were patrolling this place, after all.”</p>
<p>“The Imperial army, is it? Well, well,” Dimitri mused with a chuckle. Perhaps they could spare a bit of time, if the Imperial army was going to come to him like lambs to a slaughter.</p>
<p>Gilbert bowed to him. “Your Highness… I ask that you please refrain from reckless behavior in battle.”</p>
<p>But little did he know, Dimitri was always perfectly in control.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri did not wait for orders, did not wait for direction, when the only direction he needed was to kill. He would kill every single Imperial in his path, and he plunged into the battle with relish. It didn’t matter how many there were, there would be none left by the time he was finished.</p>
<p>The only thing that cut through the bloodlust was the only thing that had cut through it five years ago on the same battlefield--the power of a goddess crashing down upon their enemies. That magnificent wrath, that rage that reminded him that on some level, they were the same, the same, the same.</p>
<p>But it was also a reminder of what else had happened during that battle. He’d once thought her to be invincible, an unstoppable force with her blade in hand, a flawless weapon herself. And then she had died. <i>She fell she fell she fell.</i></p>
<p>It was with those words echoing in his mind that he froze when the warning of reinforcements was called out. And it was with those words echoing in his mind that he saw the hail of arrows flying towards her.</p>
<p>“Byleth! Get down!” he cried out as he met her gaze, and then her eyes flew upwards. But she wasn’t moving.</p>
<p><i>You said she wouldn’t be a distraction,</i> Glenn seethed. <i>You LIED.</i></p>
<p>He was a liar. He lied to Byleth about being there, and he lied about her not being a distraction. But none of that mattered as he barreled into her, throwing her small frame to the ground and covering it with his own. He cradled her to his chest with one arm while the other moved to cover his head and neck from any stray arrows.</p>
<p>He took a sharp breath through his teeth as several arrows pierced through his armor, but it was nothing in comparison to the wounds he’d gotten over the past five years. And the pain was dwarfed by the rage filling him as he rose to his feet, lance back in hand, and charged at the enemy. The enemy who had almost taken her from him again. The Empire who had almost taken her from him again.</p>
<p>“A one-eyed demon… So, it’s you,” the general said with wide eyes as Dimitri reached him. “You’re the one who’s been going around killing the Imperial troops!”</p>
<p>“What is it to you?” he asked casually, even as he delighted in the title. A demon, just like her. They were the same, the same, the same.</p>
<p>“You bastard! Life is worthless to you, isn’t it?!” the general demanded.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but laugh. It was not he who had started this senseless war, not he who had caused the tragedy that day or the tragedy of the past five years. “You took the words from my mouth, General!”</p>
<p>He lashed out with his lance, knocking the general’s weapon aside and forcing him to his knees. “Capture him,” he commanded the soldiers that accompanied Gilbert.</p>
<p>“A terrible battle, yet Garreg Mach still stands. Your Highness?” Gilbert asked, looking to Dimitri for orders.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri had taken his prisoner out of sight. He didn’t want anyone in his way, not as he carried out his punishment. He didn’t have questions this time, just retribution to deliver for the attempt on Byleth’s life.</p>
<p>“I have family waiting for me… Please,” the man begged on his knees. “I can’t die here…”</p>
<p>“A beast of your depravity, prattling on about family?” Dimitri mused. “How amusing.” A beast who did not understand what it was like to lose everyone, what it was like to get someone back, and then see them put in danger again.</p>
<p>The general spit through gritted teeth, “As though you could understand… such a thing as love… You heartless monster!”</p>
<p>He glared sharply at the man. He was a monster, that much was true. But he understood far too much about love. He understood how love could destroy a man. Love was what had birthed the beast, what had nurtured the monster that he had become.</p>
<p>“You are a monster too, General. You just have yet to realize it. A monster who thinks he’s a man… despicable.” At least he knew what he was. “As a general, you must have killed countless souls without a shred of mercy. Do you still remember the sound of them begging, just as you’re begging now? Or, now that your life is at its end, will you hold to the lie that your hands are not stained red with blood?”</p>
<p>“This… this is war,” the general said with a shake of his head. “I did what I had to for the Empire… for the people… for my family!”</p>
<p>For Edelgard. For Edelgard, who had taken everything from him. “So, you are piling up corpses for the people and for your family. And I am doing the same for the salvation of the dead… After all is said and done, we are both murderers. Both stained. Both monsters.”</p>
<p>“You’re wrong!”</p>
<p>“Am I?” he demanded. “I can smell the rotting flesh upon your hands even now, General.” He could smell it on his own.</p>
<p>“Enough! That’s enough!” the man cried out as he trembled. Dimitri was surprised the man hadn’t soiled himself yet, most had by this point. But he was certain to soon.</p>
<p>“I won’t kill you right away, my fellow monster,” Dimitri assured him with a grin. “Unless you object to watching your friends die. One… by… one.” He knelt down, bringing them to eye level. His single eye staring into the two eyes that he intended to pluck from the man’s skull. A perfect punishment, he knew because he’d experienced it. “If so, I will do you the service of removing your eyes first so that--”</p>
<p>A blade pierced through his chest from behind as Byleth appeared from the cover of a building. “Fleche… Please, forgive me…” the man cried out as he fell to the ground.</p>
<p>Dimitri rose to his feet, narrowing his eye at Byleth. “What is the meaning of this?”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t bear to watch,” she said, staring at him.</p>
<p>The laughter broke from him before he could stop it. Could she not see that this was for her? “A grievous error, Byleth!” Or perhaps she just did not understand the pain of losing an eye. Something more recognizable would have been better. “Tell me, would you approve if I instead spilled his guts and dragged them out of him?”</p>
<p>He even would have thrown the man off a cliff if he’d known that was what she would have preferred, pain she would know. It was far too quick, too pleasant, of a death in comparison to what the man deserved, but he would’ve made that sacrifice for her.</p>
<p>“I miss the Dimitri I once knew,” she said softly, a deep frown on her lips.</p>
<p>Her smile had been intoxicating. So much so that it could make a man forget his duty to the dead, so much so that the memory of it had been a pestilence, plaguing him for the past five years. Somehow, she’d come back, after he had begged and begged and begged.</p>
<p>But her smile hadn’t. Her smile must have died five years ago, or maybe he had buried it himself in the mountain of corpses he’d piled up in her name. She had only smiled for the Dimitri she once knew, she never would for the beast.</p>
<p>“The Dimitri you once knew is dead,” he spit at her. “All that remains is the repulsive, blood-stained monster you see before you. If you do not approve of what I have become, then kill me.”</p>
<p><i>Please,</i> he almost added, just as he would beg her in his dreams when she would offer to end his suffering.</p>
<p>Her grip tightened on the hilt of her sword and relief flooded through him. She was really going to do it. A kind, merciful goddess who would end him. But she did not end him; she threw the weapon from her grasp where it clattered to the ground at his feet in the pool of blood.</p>
<p>She was a demon after all. Cruel, just like him. “If you insist that you cannot… then I will continue to use you and your friends until the flesh falls from your bones,” he hissed at her before turning to leave.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” she called after him.</p>
<p>He froze, but he would not look back at her, no matter how much he wanted to.</p>
<p>“I will be your weapon. Wield me as you see fit.” She paused. “And… no matter what happens or what anyone may say, know that I plan to stand by you. Through anything. Until the bitter end.”</p>
<p>He hadn’t intended to look back at her, but when she’d given him those words that pierced through his heart as sharply as her dagger would have, he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but turn and meet her gaze for a second, and then look at her lips--the lips he had kissed after giving her those words--before turning away again and fleeing from her. Fleeing from the feelings she was dredging up from the depths where he was drowning.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Your Highness, may I ask what your next plan of attack is?” Gilbert inquired as they discussed the aftermath of the battle in the cardinal’s room. “Should we dispatch our troops to the Kingdom capital or to the Imperial capital?”</p>
<p>It was a pointless question. The answer was clear. The answer had always been clear. “We will take the Imperial capital. There, I will kill her. We end the war and chase away the lingering regrets of the dead. Nothing could be more to the point,” Dimitri ordered.</p>
<p>
  <i>Take her head take her head takeherhead takeherhead takeherheadtakeherheadtake…</i>
</p>
<p>They hesitated and bickered amongst themselves, throwing about useless opinions, unable to hear the obvious answer that was growing louder and louder.</p>
<p>
  <i>takeherheadtakeherheadtakeherheadTAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEAD…</i>
</p>
<p>And then Seteth turned to her. “Byleth… Whatever you decide, we shall follow.”</p>
<p>She glanced amongst the group with a frown, but her gaze held his own when their eyes finally met. She’d said that she would be his weapon, so here was a chance. A chance for her to prove to him that they were the same. A chance to prove that she did understand him after all.</p>
<p>Her eyes did not leave his as she answered, “Let’s take down Enbarr, the Imperial capital.”</p>
<p>“Yes… It is the only way,” Dimitri said with relief.</p>
<p>He had been prepared if she gave the wrong answer. She had been entrusted with leading the church, and her duty would be to rescue Lady Rhea. But she did understand him after all. Or at least, there was a part of her that did. He still couldn’t decide if she was a goddess or a demon, if she was unattainable or within reach, or if it was possible that she could be both.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Valley of Torment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions head to Ailell, the Valley of Torment, to meet Rodrigue for reinforcements.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights (but there is a lot more doubling up post-timeskip).</p>
<p>Here is Valley of Torment! And I do have good news - I'll be able to get a biweekly posting in next week too. I'll post The Rose-Colored River on Tuesday and then Blood of the Eagle and Lion next Friday!</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Teeth - 8 Graves<br/>Burning Alive - 8 Graves<br/>1x1 - Bring Me The Horizon</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>I was in the greenhouse tending to the sprouts that were beginning to emerge from the earth when a soldier entered.</p>
<p>“Ah, here you are. Forgive my intrusion, Byleth,” the soldier said.</p>
<p>I glanced up from the flowerbed I was kneeling in front of. “What can I do for you?”</p>
<p>“His Highness has requested your presence,” the man responded with a polite nod. “He is waiting for you in the entrance hall.”</p>
<p>I nodded and wiped the dirt from my hands before heading out. It was still uncertain when Dimitri would speak with me, but he’d at least seemed to accept my offer of being his weapon, of aiding in his fight against the Empire.</p>
<p>“You made it,” Dimitri remarked as I arrived where he, Gilbert, and Felix were gathered.</p>
<p>“We received a reply from my father. You should read it too,” Felix said, handing me a roll of parchment.</p>
<p>
  <i>Gilbert has filled me in on the details. He tells me you are in immediate need of additional troops. I would like to say that I will gather reinforcements and send them to the monastery at once… However, I cannot afford to leave the front lines for that long. Would you be willing to meet us south of Fraldarius territory in Ailell, the Valley of Torment? Ailell is halfway between the monastery and our territory. There, I will deliver the soldiers you require.</i>
</p>
<p>“The Valley of Torment…” I wondered aloud. It did not sound like a pleasant place, with such a foreboding name. But halfway for each group to travel could not really be argued with.</p>
<p>“Ailell lies on the border between Kingdom territory and Alliance territory. Humans dare not approach that place,” Gilbert explained.</p>
<p>“He’s right. In Ailell, we can meet up with them without our enemy ever finding out,” Dimitri agreed.</p>
<p>Felix nodded. “Once my old man delivers his soldiers to us, then our war against the Empire can finally begin.”</p>
<p>Gilbert looked at Dimitri, his expression grim. “The path ahead will be a difficult one, Your Highness. Deadly, in all likelihood…”</p>
<p>“True. But what’s the point in wavering now?” Dimitri asked. “Father, Stepmother, Glenn, and even Dedue… I am certain this will bring them great joy. I know if I can just offer them Edelgard’s head… I just know it…”</p>
<p>I hoped he was right. But I wasn’t worried about the dead--I wanted to bring him great joy, I wanted to bring him peace.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Preparations were underway for our departure for Ailell. A messenger had been sent ahead to confirm our course of action with Rodrigue and we were organizing our troops--who would stay behind to defend the monastery, and who would march out--and gathering supplies.</p>
<p>The Knights of Seiros would remain behind to defend the monastery, given that we’d suffered an Imperial attack already. There was no guarantee that they would not send more troops at us. The only ones heading out to Ailell would be Gilbert and the Blue Lions, along with Dimitri and myself. A small group, but we did not anticipate combat aside from any patrols we ran across, with Seteth noting the wisdom of meeting in the Valley of Torment.</p>
<p>The Blue Lions themselves were distraught. Everyone seemed torn, fractured between those who agreed with pursuing Enbarr and those who wished to liberate Fhirdiad, even as Ingrid said that she understood Dimitri’s hatred, which made it hard for her to protest about our chosen path.</p>
<p>Annette wondered if Dimitri really didn’t care about anything other than fighting Edelgard anymore. I didn’t know what to tell her. I knew he was consumed by his drive for vengeance, and he had been before I’d disappeared. But the selfish part of me wished that he would choose me instead.</p>
<p>Felix was the only one who did not voice an opinion, instead he stated that he was merely steeling himself to see his father, whom he loathed.</p>
<p>But it was Mercedes who gave me pause when we spoke one morning over breakfast.</p>
<p>“I don’t know about everyone else, but heading to the Empire seems like a good idea to me. The search for Lady Rhea will be so much easier if we can just get the Empire out of the way. I suppose Dimitri might still pose a problem though. He seems so fixated on the Imperial capital, but… I get the feeling he’s not even sure what he wants anymore,” she said thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“I’m sure he wasn’t expecting everyone to show up,” I responded. It had been clear as we all reunited when facing the bandits that he wasn’t there for them.</p>
<p>She flashed me a sad smile. “I think there’s only one person who is making him feel conflicted.”</p>
<p>I wanted to believe it was true. I wanted to believe that she meant me. I wanted to believe Sothis, that Dimitri had been there to reunite with <i>me</i>. But it was becoming clear that I could not quench his thirst, no matter how desperately I wanted to save him. So I would let him use me instead.</p>
<hr/>
<p>We were getting close to being prepared to depart. Messengers had confirmed our meeting with Rodrigue, and things were almost in order. I entered the cardinal’s room to review the list of supplies that we’d be taking with us, only to find Dimitri there, looking over the same papers I had been aiming for.</p>
<p>I walked over to the table he stood at. He met my eyes and then looked back at the documents before him. “Go away.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>He looked up sharply and glared at me. I glared back, unwilling to back down. I wouldn’t leave him, not ever again. We stared each other down for a moment and then he straightened, towering over me, and took a step forward.</p>
<p>Instinctively, I took a step back. And I knew right then that I’d made a mistake. He knew it too, and in that instant he was a predator sensing prey. He took another step and I took one more back, only to stop as I felt the stone wall at my back.</p>
<p>His hands slammed into the wall on either side of my head, his arms caging me in. I could hear the stones groaning, and there was a snap as the brick under his right hand cracked.</p>
<p>I stared up at him, realizing then just how much bigger he was than me.</p>
<p>“Are you afraid of me?” he growled.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>His eye narrowed. “You should be.” He leaned closer. “I’m a monster.”</p>
<p>One of his hands dropped from the wall and wrapped around my throat. But he didn’t squeeze. His thumb ran gently over the small scar on my neck from the day we’d reunited.</p>
<p>“So am I,” I whispered. Could he not see that we’d become the same?</p>
<p>His posture stiffened. He ripped the white fabric from my neck and his hands dropped to my shoulders and squeezed as he stared at me. “I can’t stand this,” he said, his voice full of anguish. “This torment… this longing.”</p>
<p>I took in a sharp breath. I couldn’t stand it either. It consumed me every time I looked at him. It haunted me every moment I was away from him.</p>
<p>When he slammed his lips against mine, I parted my lips to let him in, and he did not hesitate to push his tongue in.</p>
<p>He finally broke the kiss, but he didn’t pull away. He began trailing kisses down my jaw, down my neck. His body pressed in against mine and I found myself grinding my hips against him, where the apex of my thighs felt slick and hot. As his teeth scraped against the scar on my throat, I felt a breathy moan rise up and slip out of me, but he moved a hand from my shoulder and slipped his fingers over my mouth, capturing the sound.</p>
<p>I wanted to beg him for more, I wanted to beg for his touch. I wanted to greedily snatch up whatever pieces of himself he was willing to give me.</p>
<p>Maybe he sensed my eagerness. Or maybe it was the moan still escaping me, trapped by his hand clamped tightly over my mouth. He pressed his hips in sharply against me and bit down hard on the soft space between my neck and my shoulder, his teeth piercing the skin to draw blood--marking me, claiming me. As if he had not claimed my unbeating heart long ago.</p>
<p>The sound of footsteps in the hallway outside the room had him pulling away.</p>
<p>“Ahh, the goddess is cruel indeed with her punishments,” Dimitri breathed against my neck. “I deserve no less than this torture.” And then he backed away from me and strode out of the room, leaving me feeling cold in the absence of his body.</p>
<p>It was torture for me, too. I ached for him, I craved him like I’d never craved anything. My head was spinning and something that had begun to coil up in my core cried out.</p>
<p>Sylvain entered the room, passing Dimitri as he left. I saw his face pale as Dimitri said something to him, but I didn’t hear what it was.</p>
<p>He did his best to put a smile back on. “Byleth, I was just coming to see if…” He trailed off as his eyes flew over the cracked stone behind where I stood against the wall. He glanced back at the door, as if making sure that Dimitri was really gone. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” I said stiffly and stepped away from the wall, attempting to casually press my fingers over the shallow wound on my neck and pretend that it was not there. I tried not to think about the feel of Dimitri’s lips, of his teeth, of the way I’d let him devour me if he asked.</p>
<p>Sylvain stared at me for a long moment, like he was deciding whether to press the matter or not. He opted for a full subject change, which I was grateful for. If anyone was observant--and experienced--enough to put together some semblance of what had just happened, it was him. “Ailell, the Valley of Torment. Aw, man… I really do not want to go there.”</p>
<p>I pounced on the opportunity he had extended to me. “Why not?”</p>
<p>“That place is crazy hot!” he exclaimed. “For guys like me who grew up somewhere cold? Man… it’s gonna be rough. Though, I guess that climate will keep our enemies at bay.”</p>
<p>“Is it really that bad?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Have you ever been to Ailell, Byleth?”</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>“If you had, you’d know. I guess you’ll find out soon enough.”</p>
<p>“That’s right,” I said, remembering how Sylvain had actually come here to find me. “Didn’t you have something to ask me? Before you came in here.” I quickly added the last thought, hoping he would know I was not suddenly inviting him to discuss whatever he suspected had just occurred between Dimitri and me.</p>
<p>“Oh, right. Gilbert sent me to see if you’d finished checking our supplies. He’d like to move out tomorrow morning.” Sylvain frowned as his eyes settled on my hand over my neck. “I’m sorry, but we can’t not talk about this.”</p>
<p>“There’s nothing to talk about.”</p>
<p>“Don’t give me that, Byleth. Come with me, we’re going to the infirmary.”</p>
<p>Sylvain strode forward. In a swift movement, he bent down and picked up the white cloth that usually covered my neck and then grabbed my hand.</p>
<p>“I’ll just cover it up and it’ll heal. I don’t need to go to the infirmary,” I shot at him, moving to pull my hand from his grasp, still the <i>wrong</i> hand on me.</p>
<p>“This isn’t about your damn neck. We’re going to the infirmary. I’m going to talk, and you are going to listen.”</p>
<p>There was something about his tone that convinced me to bite my tongue.</p>
<p>Sylvain led me to the infirmary in silence. Only once we were inside the room with the door closed behind us did he drop my hand and start rummaging through a cupboard.</p>
<p>“Listen, Byleth. I have a decent idea of what was happening in that room before I got there. I don’t know the specifics, and I don’t need to, but tell me one thing… What would have happened if I hadn’t shown up?” Sylvain asked without turning around. He was thumbing through various bottles like he was looking for something.</p>
<p>It was a good question. What would have happened if Sylvain had not shown up? How far would things have gone? Just how much of himself would Dimitri have given me?</p>
<p>When I didn’t respond, Sylvain continued, “Let me rephrase--Aha!” He grabbed a bottle and spun around from the cupboard, meeting my gaze. “Would you have stopped him?”</p>
<p>I bit my bottom lip, where Dimitri’s lips had been not long before. Where I still wanted his lips, even if he cursed my presence with his words. The heat and pounding between my legs had subsided, but it left me feeling empty and unsatisfied. It left me wishing that his body was still pressed against mine. I slowly shook my head. “No.”</p>
<p>Sylvain offered me a sad smile. “I thought not.”</p>
<p>“What makes you say that?” I demanded.</p>
<p>His expression was unexpectedly soft when he answered, “Time may warp things, but it does not break them. And you two have had eyes only for each other for a long time.”</p>
<p>“If only that were true,” I said quietly. If only it were true that Dimitri loved me as I loved him.</p>
<p>“You’d have to be blind not to see it. You never smiled for anyone the way you smiled for him. And the same was true for him.”</p>
<p>My heart ached as I wished to believe his words. “What is that?” I asked, deflecting the conversation. I didn’t want to talk about love, not with the pain it caused in my chest.</p>
<p>“Ah, right. Since you wouldn’t stop him, you should eat one of these herbs once a month. Chew it, drink it in tea, it doesn’t really matter.” He brandished the bottle at me.</p>
<p>I accepted it hesitantly. “This will…”</p>
<p>The softer, perceptive Sylvain vanished to be replaced by the mischievous flirt he liked to masquerade as and he flashed me a grin. “You got it! That’ll prevent pregnancy, so you can visit my room later and we can pick up where you and His Highness left off.”</p>
<p>He was running towards the door as my fist clenched tightly. “Joking, joking!” he called out as he slipped out of the room.</p>
<p>But I was grateful for it. It was easier to be annoyed with Sylvain than it was to think about Dimitri, and what would have happened. And how I wouldn’t stop him if he tried. How I wanted it so badly.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The night before our march to Ailell, I went to the cathedral like usual to sleep. Dimitri did not look at me, but I thought I felt a soft caress against my cheek as I was falling asleep. But when I opened my eyes, he was not there.</p>
<p>Our march did not have the luxury of the cathedral to sleep in, but we all slept close enough that I did not fear slipping away. I knew that whether we were in the cathedral or on the ground, Dimitri would wake me.</p>
<p>When we finally reached Ailell, I understood what Sylvain had meant. It wasn’t just a hot climate. Valley of Torment was actually quite an apt name, for it was a valley with rivers of magma cutting through it, areas in the rocky paths where the stone had begun to melt back into the flames from which it had first been forged.</p>
<p>“This valley isn’t a place I’d care to return to,” Gilbert finally said as we stood gathered together, taking a break from our march.</p>
<p>I couldn’t disagree with him. As the heat clawed at my skin, a bitter part of me wanted to warn Dimitri that the flesh may be falling from my bones sooner than he thought.</p>
<p>“After the chilliness of Faerghus, I can’t seem to adjust to this extreme heat,” Ingrid agreed.</p>
<p>Sylvain frowned. “Historically, there have been battles whose outcomes were determined in part by the climate. You can’t argue that this heat isn’t a factor.”</p>
<p>He was right. We were lucky that we were here for a secret meeting and not a battle, because the extreme heat would make it difficult. The only upside would be that our enemy would have the same disadvantage.</p>
<p>“In conditions like these, who knows what will become of our morale,” Ingrid lamented.</p>
<p>Gilbert turned to me. “Byleth, be honest. How are you holding up?”</p>
<p><i>I’m at my limit,</i> I thought. But I wouldn’t say it. I was supposed to be a weapon. But I at least admitted, “I never imagined it would be like this…”</p>
<p>“Monks once used this area as an ascetic training ground because of the intense environment,” Gilbert explained. I was suddenly very glad I had grown up as a mercenary and not a monk.</p>
<p>Gilbert fixed me with a calculating stare as he continued, slowly, “They say Ailell was born of the goddess’ rage…”</p>
<p>I wondered if he was thinking of the blast I had rallied and used to turn an entire legion of Imperial soldiers to charred husks. I wondered if he was starting to question just who I might be, not that I had answers for him. “Her rage?” I finally asked. I didn’t think I was capable of something of this scale, and I couldn’t picture Sothis doing this even if it was within her power.</p>
<p>Gilbert nodded. “If you believe the legends, this valley is evidence of the goddess’ judgment… passed on humanity for its corruption. The forest that once covered the surrounding area was burnt to ash by a pillar of light that descended from the heavens. That legend fueled belief in a place of torment between our world and the next… where one’s sins are purified in the cleansing flames.”</p>
<p>That didn’t sound like Sothis at all.</p>
<p>But before I could even begin to question, Dimitri cut in beside me, his voice bitter, “Nonsense. Sins are not so easily washed away.”</p>
<p>“Indeed,” Gilbert agreed. “And there are no accounts of such a place in scripture. Yet those who cannot face their own sins have no choice but to cling to the idea.”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s gaze dropped to the ground and a muscle in his jaw quivered. I thought I might have been the only one to see it, because another voice quickly drew everyone’s attention.</p>
<p>“Ugh, I just don’t think I can take this heat anymore,” Mercedes said heavily. “I think I’m starting to see things… Near those mountains over there… Is it just me, or is there a group of people gathered there?”</p>
<p>We all looked up to where she was pointing.</p>
<p>Gilbert’s face paled. “No… It would seem you are not hallucinating after all. No, but their banner is that of… No! It can’t be…”</p>
<p>There was an army standing atop the plateau on the other side of the valley. And if they were not Rodrigue’s soldiers… My stomach turned. We had not brought troops with us, instead leaving what meager forces we had behind to defend the monastery. The Blue Lions were all we had.</p>
<p>“That is House Rowe’s banner. They curried favor with that witch and sold out Faerghus,” Dimitri seethed.</p>
<p>“We messed up,” Gilbert said, shaking his head. “There must have been a spy among us…” He turned to Dimitri. “Will you have us meet them in battle or wait for Rodrigue to arrive?”</p>
<p>“There is only one option,” Dimitri responded with a smile. “How kind of them to save us the trouble of killing them later.”</p>
<p>I tightened my grip on the hilt of the Sword of the Creator at my side. I didn’t know if we could prevail against a force of that size, but if they were his enemies, our enemies, I would try. “They sold out the Kingdom, right?”</p>
<p>“I will not repeat myself,” Dimitri said sharply. “That banner belongs to the Gray Lion. It’s a waste of breath to exchange words with one such as him.”</p>
<p>“His Highness is correct,” Gilbert agreed. “He is not an opponent whom we can expect to negotiate with.” He turned to the rest of the group. “Everyone! Prepare for the attack!”</p>
<p>I drew my sword as we began to move out into the valley, but Gilbert caught my arm. “Byleth… I do not know how you did what you did during the battle defending the monastery. If I am perfectly honest, I am not sure that I wish to know.” He was staring at me, but his eyes were not full of fear--they were pleading. “But if you can pull off something like that again, it may turn the tides. It may… make the difference so His Highness can prevail.”</p>
<p>I wondered if he’d added the last words for himself or for me. If he knew that we cared about protecting the same thing. “I’ll try. I don’t know if I can, and if I am able to, I can likely only do it once,” I admitted as I placed my sword at my hip again.</p>
<p>I raised my hands in front of me, closed my eyes, and dove deep within myself. I tried not to think too much as I reached inwards, but my thoughts were swirling around me in a jumbled mess.</p>
<p>
  <i>The goddess’ rage…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>They curried favor with that witch and sold out Faerghus.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Burnt to ash…</i>
</p>
<p>And there, a behemoth yawning awake, its jaws encircling me, was the goddess’ power. And while I couldn’t imagine Sothis with that kind of rage, she had made a grave error and gifted her power to a demon. The Ashen Demon.</p>
<p>A fitting name now, for as I began to draw the energy up, it tapped into my own rage, and I could feel not lightning, but flames scorching and searing through my veins. Maybe it was being in this place, but when I opened my mouth I tasted ash, I <i>was</i> ash. Plumes of magma had begun to rise from the rivers surrounding the walkways.</p>
<p>My vision was cloudy and blurred, like I was trying to see through a haze of smoke from the thing burning inside me.</p>
<p>Gilbert’s voice drew my attention. “That man, who raises the Lion’s flag?” He pointed at the main force that had begun to move forward. “Lord Gwendal. He is an elder knight who serves House Rowe. Gwendal would, without thought, fight any battle if ordered. There is no chance of negotiating with him.” I realized he was trying to direct me, not knowing how close I was to losing my grasp on my own rage.</p>
<p>My hands shook as I tried to keep hold of the beast now writhing just under my skin, demanding to be set loose. Demanding to become cleansing flames. I looked back at where Gilbert had gestured--Lord Gwendal was already leading his main force in, and he was too close. I couldn’t risk hitting my comrades. I raised my fists higher, focusing on the reinforcements still atop the plateau.</p>
<p>And then, as I opened my hands, I let go. Flame shot up around the remaining army. The magma in the river writhed and rushed up from the valley to wash over the edge of the plateau. I felt suddenly empty, and my breath came in ragged bursts. My knees gave out, but as I started to fall strong arms caught me. They were not the strong arms that had caught me the night in the cathedral, not the arms I wanted, but I was grateful nonetheless as Gilbert supported me.</p>
<p>“So, the flames of torment burn your sins, your life, your everything,” Dimitri’s voice rang out as a command to the Blue Lions. “If you wish to spare yourself the goddess’ wrath, tread lightly.”</p>
<p>It was not the goddess’ wrath. It was <i>my</i> wrath, malice that I was wielding as a weapon for him. But as I beheld the hint of fear in Gilbert’s eyes, even as he held me up, I didn’t know if I wanted Dimitri to know. I didn’t want him to look at me with that fear, but I also wanted him to accept me as the demon I was.</p>
<p>But even as Gilbert’s eyes betrayed the fear that he could not hide, he squeezed my elbow. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>I’d given us a chance. But it was still only a chance. I forced my legs to steady beneath me and shrugged out of Gilbert’s arms. He hesitantly dropped them to his sides.</p>
<p>“We are both needed out there,” I said to him, drawing my sword from my hip once again.</p>
<p>He nodded and drew his own axe, and we rushed out to join the fray.</p>
<p>Even with the devastating blow I had delivered, there were too many. I took out a soldier who had snuck behind Ashe, meeting eyes with the archer before jumping back in.</p>
<p>Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gilbert arrive to catch a strike against his shield that had been meant for Annette.</p>
<p>But I wasn’t looking for Annette. I needed to find Dimitri.</p>
<p>I finally caught sight of him, recklessly charging ahead. I rushed forward, cutting through, only to find myself surrounded. Surrounded, and still feeling the exhaustion from the power I’d expended to level the reinforcements.</p>
<p>I lunged out in front of me with the Sword of the Creator, taking several down at once. But as I turned to try and watch my back, I saw the soldier standing behind me, his arm raised to swing his axe down on me, split in two as Dimitri’s lance cut him clean in half.</p>
<p>Blood and gore splattered us both. His eye held mine for a brief second, and then he turned, placing us back to back as we had once so naturally fought.</p>
<p>After we fought off several more waves of soldiers, a horse broke through the line as Rodrigue arrived. “So, Cornelia has planted spies even inside Garreg Mach,” he lamented.</p>
<p>Lord Gwendal’s voice rang out, “The Shield of Faerghus has appeared!”</p>
<p>Rodrigue studied us for a moment. “To meet you in a place like this… No, that won’t do. I’ll leave the talking until after the battle.” He motioned behind him, to the troops he had brought. Troops that would even the odds.</p>
<p>I looked to where Lord Gwendal now waited, only a small battalion between us and then looked to Dimitri. “Go. I’ll help cut a path.”</p>
<p>I didn’t wait for him to respond--I was never sure if he would anymore--before I leapt forward, striking out around me, using the Sword of the Creator as a whip to cut as wide a path as I could towards the lord who had betrayed his prince.</p>
<p>Dimitri took advantage of the path, and it wasn’t long before he reached Gwendal. I hovered near his back, close enough to hear their fight, but far enough to keep any advancing soldiers at bay.</p>
<p>“The man praised as a lion is reduced to a mere traitor’s underling,” Dimitri hissed at the lord.</p>
<p>“A traitor’s underling? That’s upsetting, Your Highness,” the knight responded indignantly. “I am and have always been a knight of House Rowe.”</p>
<p>I channeled my rage into the next swing of my sword as a soldier tried to rush forward to protect his lord. His lord who still recognized his prince but refused to serve him.</p>
<p>“How dare you? You are nothing but a lowly beast scavenging for scraps,” Dimitri seethed. “You have forgotten the dignity of knighthood.”</p>
<p>“I may be lowly, but this beast is loyal to his master,” Lord Gwendal replied.</p>
<p>Dimitri barked a laugh as he moved to overpower the knight. “Then I had better kill a pet and deliver its head to that master…” And he did as he said, knocking Gwendal’s sword back and then swinging out, taking the man’s head from his shoulders.</p>
<p>Right before the lance cut through his neck, the lord’s last words rang out, “Ah, so I have found a place to die… Young ones… I thank you.”</p>
<p>Gilbert caught up to us and stared at the body as the remaining soldiers began to scatter and Rodrigue’s force moved in to route them.</p>
<p>“It is the way of knights to follow their master’s orders without argument. Lord Gwendal was a good man,” Gilbert said sadly.</p>
<p>If he was a good man, he would’ve followed his prince.</p>
<p>“Now he’s just a corpse,” Dimitri responded before turning to me. “Let’s go. Rodrigue is waiting for us.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“It’s been too long, Your Highness,” Rodrigue greeted Dimitri with a deep bow once we were all able to gather.</p>
<p>Rodrigue grinned and continued, “But try to temper your joy, will you? This is a war, after all.”</p>
<p>Dimitri crossed his arms, but when he spoke, he almost sounded like he used to. A boy, talking to the man who had become a second father to him. “To say such a thing at a time like this. You have not changed one bit.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue shook his head. “Don’t let looks deceive you. I’ve had a rough go of it ever since I crossed blades with those traitors in Fhirdiad. When I heard you’d been executed, I rushed there as fast as I could, blind with fury. When I got there, I was fed some garbage about not being able to see your body. The next thing I knew, I was gripping my blade and…” He trailed off and looked at Gilbert. “Gilbert, you have done well to locate His Highness. I am truly grateful.”</p>
<p>Gilbert responded with a nod.</p>
<p>“And you…” Rodrigue continued. “I have you to thank, as well.”</p>
<p>It took me a while to realize he was speaking to me. Because I was staring at Dimitri as Rodrigue’s words settled in. I’d thought the day that we reunited of what I would have done if he hadn’t been there when I’d woken.</p>
<p>But if I had woken up and found that he had been executed… As I took in the planes of his face, the icy blue of his remaining eye, and recalled the feeling of his lips on mine, I realized that while Sothis may not have been a goddess of rage, I would have been. I would have torn all of Fódlan to shreds.</p>
<p>“We were all fortunate,” I finally said. Fortunate that I’d found him and not become a villain, burning the entire continent to ash in my wrath.</p>
<p>Rodrigue studied me for a long moment, like he was puzzling something out. “Well, we are in your debt,” he responded. “I will repay you for this someday, I swear it.” He finally turned to look at his son. “And you, Felix… You have also done well to bring His Highness here.”</p>
<p>Felix grunted and looked away.</p>
<p>“Tell us all you know, Rodrigue,” Dimitri directed, tearing his gaze from mine.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid there’s not much to tell. You are aware that the western region of the Kingdom was taken by the Empire, correct?” Rodrigue asked.</p>
<p>Dimitri nodded. “Yes, so I have heard. They are now calling it the Faerghus Dukedom or some nonsense.”</p>
<p>“If you know that then the rest won’t take long,” Rodrigue said. “Enemy or not, it’s undeniable that Cornelia’s plan was nothing short of genius. After seizing power, she invited the Imperial army to Fhirdiad. There, she reorganized her troops and then sent soldiers to hunt me down. Because of that, we were forced to act defensively. And now we’re being forced into a difficult battle. She’s been controlling the situation all along.”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s eye narrowed as he looked down. “So that’s been the witch’s plan from the start. I should have killed her ages ago.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness… Fhirdiad is in a terrible state right now. The tyranny is unbearable, and so the rebellions are endless. Refugees starve to death in the streets.” Rodrigue paused. “If I may speak freely, Your Highness… We should change course for Fhirdiad and take down those traitors before we embark to Enbarr.”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head sharply. “There is no time for that. We must annihilate Enbarr before all else.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue shook his head back at him. “Think this through. I understand wanting to destroy the Empire and the emperor. I want that so much it hurts. But which is more important, the dead or the living?”</p>
<p>I held my breath as Rodrigue asked the question I couldn’t bring myself to. And Dimitri’s reaction was exactly why I would not ask. He crossed his arms and fixed Rodrigue with a sharp, threatening glare. “Silence!”</p>
<p>But Rodrigue raised his chin. “No, Dimitri, you will hear me out.”</p>
<p>“Are you asking me… asking the dead… to forgive that woman?” Dimitri demanded.</p>
<p>“No, I would not ask that of you. What I am asking is that you allow us to prioritize the Kingdom capital over the Imperial capital for now. As Lambert’s close and trusted friend, I am confident that he would have advised the same,” Rodrigue responded.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s hands clenched into fists. “Do not dare put words in the mouths of the dead. They are your words alone, even if you borrow their lips. Until I offer up that woman’s head, Father will remain a slave to his lingering regret and hatred… Even now, he suffers. It is ceaseless. As we waste time with idle chatter, his suffering continues!”</p>
<p>Rodrigue sighed and then finally bowed. “You are my king. Our king. Wherever you lead, we will follow. But Your Highness… There are those who take up their sword in the name of revenge, and yet lose the strength and composure to follow through… You would do well to bear that in mind.”</p>
<p>Dimitri looked away from him and said nothing.</p>
<p>“Ah, I nearly forgot,” Rodrigue said as he walked over to his horse. When he came back, he held a lance out towards Dimitri. A Crest stone glimmered in the base of its blade, and the blade itself arced up like a crescent moon made from bones. “Take this, Your Highness. The time has come for it to be wielded by its true master.”</p>
<p>“Areadbhar… The Hero’s Relic once wielded by my father,” Dimitri breathed.</p>
<p>“The very same,” Rodrigue confirmed. “I managed to steal it back from one of Cornelia’s underlings in Fhirdiad.”</p>
<p>Felix shook his head in disbelief. “Understated as ever, Father. It must have been a true struggle to get it back.”</p>
<p>Dimitri grasped it with shaking hands. “I… I am grateful, my friend.”</p>
<p>“Gilbert, Byleth,” Rodrigue said, turning to face me again. “May I request something of you? I wish to fight at your side.”</p>
<p>“Senile already, old man? Who will protect our territory?” Felix demanded.</p>
<p>Rodrigue smiled. “I expected it would come to this, so I left those matters to my younger brother. He has my complete faith. I must keep my promise to our fallen king… to my dear friend.”</p>
<p>“What promise?” I asked.</p>
<p>“A very old one. I swore it nearly ten years ago.” Rodrigue turned back to Dimitri. “Now then, Your Highness. Let’s destroy the Empire together. My men and I will spare no effort. I pray that you are right… and that this will save the Kingdom.”</p>
<p>I hoped that he was right too, and that it would free him from the demons tormenting him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>A war council was called the day after we finally made it back to the monastery. With Rodrigue’s troops and the Knights of Seiros, our forces had grown enough that we could at least begin to consider more than just defensive actions.</p>
<p>“Our orders are to capture Enbarr by striking the enemy stronghold directly… How familiar are you with the geography of Fódlan?” Rodrigue asked me.</p>
<p>My father had handled most of the logistics when we traveled, but I’d learned enough from him as we went from job to job, and I’d learned more in my year of teaching at the monastery. “I know enough.”</p>
<p>“Then you must be aware that the Kingdom and the Empire are separated by the impassable Oghma Mountains, right?” Rodrigue pressed.</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“Legend has it that Saint Seiros once crossed over those mountains to fight against the Fell King Nemesis… But don’t fool yourself. Leading an army over such steep mountains would be near impossible,” Rodrigue cautioned.</p>
<p>“In order to infiltrate the Empire, we have no choice but to go around the mountains, either to the east or to the west,” Gilbert advised.</p>
<p>To the west stood Kingdom territory, full of traitorous nobles like House Rowe who had sworn themselves to the Empire. To the east, we’d have to travel through Alliance territory. “Let’s go east,” I finally said.</p>
<p>Rodrigue nodded. “Yes, I agree. The Alliance is currently split in two. Those who stand with the Empire and those who are against it. Leading the Imperial faction is House Gloucester, while House Riegan leads those who oppose. We should take advantage of their internal conflict and proceed east along the mountains until we reach the Great Bridge of Myrddin in Alliance territory.”</p>
<p>Lorenz and his family had sided with the Empire. But I was relieved to hear that Claude stood in opposition. “Why there?” I asked of Myrddin.</p>
<p>“The Airmid River divides Alliance and Empire territory. There are many large bridges that cross it. However, the Great Bridge of Myrddin is by far the largest, and it is the closest to the monastery. I believe you crossed that bridge five years ago on your journey to the Battle of the Eagle and Lion.”</p>
<p>It was true that the bridge would be the most convenient in terms of travel time for our army. We had crossed it on our way to the mock battle. But now, such a position could set us up for attack from both the Empire and the Alliance. “It’s risky,” I admitted.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid we have no other option. This is our only hope,” Rodrigue said. “Perhaps our next move should be to contact House Riegan and request their cooperation?”</p>
<p>“Do you think they’ll help us?” I asked.</p>
<p>Rodrigue nodded carefully. “Claude of House Riegan is the leader of the Alliance and is firmly against the Empire. They are the enemy of our enemy… In other words, hopefully a friend.”</p>
<p>“Are you suggesting that we ask House Riegan to engage the Gloucester soldiers?” Dimitri asked.</p>
<p>Gilbert nodded. “I am. If we take the bridge, then House Gloucester will no longer be able to receive help from the Empire. There’s no way a man as wise as Claude would refuse our request.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue continued, “And once we manage to capture the Great Bridge and gain a foothold in the Empire…”</p>
<p>“Then we cross Gronder Field and head south towards Enbarr,” Dimitri finished for him.</p>
<p>“But if we get attacked from both sides, we’ll have to fight people from the Alliance, won’t we?” Ashe asked nervously.</p>
<p>“Speaking of House Gloucester, I wonder how Lorenz is holding up,” Mercedes pondered.</p>
<p>“If we meet him again, it will probably be as enemies,” Annette said sadly. “To be honest, I’d rather avoid seeing him altogether.”</p>
<p>“If you do not wish to kill familiar faces, do not tarry over the corpses of the dead,” Dimitri said sharply.</p>
<p>Felix grunted. “Good advice.”</p>
<p>I blinked. I was sure I could count on one hand the number of times Felix had agreed with Dimitri.</p>
<p>“Prepare yourselves,” the prince commanded. “It is time to steel your souls for the task at hand.”</p>
<p>I’d been steeled to kill familiar faces from the moment I’d opened my eyes again. To kill anyone in his way.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>Dimitri was in the cardinal’s room, ensuring that everything was in order for their departure to Ailell. Too much time had already been wasted, and every moment that wasn’t spent chasing after Edelgard was another moment that the dead suffered, that they demanded her head, her blood.</p>
<p>Byleth entered and strode over to stand next to him. He glanced up at her and then back down. He did not want to see her, did not want the torture of her presence. “Go away.”</p>
<p>“No,” she countered.</p>
<p>He met her eyes and glared. She’d become so cruel. And she glared back at him, an expression she had rarely if ever directed at him. Good. Maybe she was learning to hate him, as she should. He rose from the table and stepped towards her.</p>
<p>She stepped back. He recognized fear. He’d inspired so much of it in the hearts of men over the past five years. And now, it was festering in her own unbeating heart. He took another step towards her, backing her into the wall. He smashed his hands into the wall around her head, trapping her with his body as she stared up at him.</p>
<p>“Are you afraid of me?” he demanded.</p>
<p>“No,” she responded.</p>
<p>She was a fool. If she truly did not fear him, she should. “You should be. I’m a monster.”</p>
<p>He would teach her to fear him. His hand fell from the wall to wrap around her neck. He traced the scar on her throat with a gloved thumb, an ever present reminder that she was alive. That he had hurt her, that he had given her that scar.</p>
<p>“So am I,” she said quietly.</p>
<p>He froze as she gave him the opposite of the fear she should have. Instead, she reminded him that they were the same. That she was wicked, a demon who was capable of the same kinds of acts as him.</p>
<p>He tore the white ascot from her neck and then squeezed her shoulders tightly. “I can’t stand this. This torment… this longing.” It consumed him whenever she was near him, and it would devour both of them if she truly let him believe that they were the same.</p>
<p>She took in an audible breath, staring up at him. She wasn’t fighting him. And he <i>was</i> going to devour her.</p>
<p>He was not gentle when he brought his lips to hers. He would have forced his tongue in if he had to, but her lips parted willingly against his.</p>
<p>When he was finally able to pull his lips from hers, it was only to press his lips against the supple skin of her jaw, her neck, as he pressed his body against hers. Just like five years ago, she eagerly ground the hips that he wanted to sink in between against him.</p>
<p>She started to moan as he dragged his teeth across the scar he’d given her and he pressed his fingers over her lips, trapping the noise. He planned to make her scream. And he would not appreciate any interruptions, like the soldier who had come checking after her nightmare.</p>
<p>It was with that thought in mind that he thrust his hips against her and bit down on the luscious skin where her neck met her shoulder. He couldn’t taste it, but he knew from the hot liquid that met his lips that he’d drawn blood. He was going to take every piece of her, claim her for himself, mark her as his. She’d always been his. It didn’t matter if he was unworthy, destined to die while she remained divine, he was far too selfish to let anyone else have her.</p>
<p>Footsteps echoed outside the hallway. It seemed that even without her screaming, he would be interrupted. “Ahh, the goddess is cruel indeed with her punishments. I deserve no less than this torture,” he whispered against her skin.</p>
<p>Glenn was laughing in his ears. His father was scolding him for the distraction.</p>
<p>It suddenly made sense. Her return, the temptation she taunted him with every moment, even her willingness against him--they were all a cruel punishment from the goddess for his sins. The goddess who had blessed her and forsaken him. To dangle her in front of him, to place her so close but just out of his reach.</p>
<p><i>Of course it’s a punishment,</i> Glenn told him. <i>As if she would actually want you?</i></p>
<p>He pulled away from her and turned to see Sylvain in the doorway. Sylvain, who called her beautiful. Sylvain, who had put his hands on her five years ago. Sylvain, who had put his hands where they did not belong, on what belonged to Dimitri.</p>
<p>“If you touch her like you did that night, I’ll kill you,” he hissed at Sylvain as he stalked by on his way out of the room. And he meant it. It made him a monster, but if Byleth was truly the same as him, she would understand.	</p>
<hr/>
<p>That night, Dimitri couldn’t stop himself from going to her. But only while she slept. When she could not turn him away, or tempt him by giving in. He couldn’t stop himself from brushing his hand against her cheek as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Byleth.”</p>
<p>Sorry that he could not be who she needed. Sorry that he could not let her go. Sorry that he was a cruel, selfish monster who would use her and keep her for himself, and try to ruin her before he eventually ruined himself and met his end.</p>
<p>On the march to Ailell, he found himself missing their sleeping arrangement in the cathedral. She had gone there because she feared disappearing, but he hadn’t realized how much her presence had soothed his own unease, feeling less like he had to sleep with one eye open--which meant not sleeping at all, because he had only one eye left. But most of all, the remnants of the man within him longed for the idea that she might <i>need</i> him the way he needed her.</p>
<p>Ailell was brutal, the Valley of Torment and the sweltering heat was a taste of what awaited him at the end of his miserable life.</p>
<p>His comrades lamented the heat before Gilbert turned to Byleth. “Byleth, be honest. How are you holding up?”</p>
<p>Her brows creased as she answered, “I never imagined it would be like this…”</p>
<p>“Monks once used this area as an ascetic training ground because of the intense environment,” Gilbert responded. “They say Ailell was born of the goddess’ rage…”</p>
<p>“Her rage?” Byleth asked.</p>
<p>The goddess herself seemed uncaring, never bothering to listen, watching from above but never offering her help--except to someone as radiant as Byleth. But he could picture Byleth herself unleashing rage powerful enough to create such a place. It was part of why he loved her. Part of why he still was unable to resist her, even as the dead scorned him for it.</p>
<p>“If you believe the legends, this valley is evidence of the goddess’ judgment… passed on humanity for its corruption,” Gilbert explained. “The forest that once covered the surrounding area was burnt to ash by a pillar of light that descended from the heavens. That legend fueled belief in a place of torment between our world and the next… where one’s sins are purified in the cleansing flames.”</p>
<p>“Nonsense. Sins are not so easily washed away,” Dimitri interjected. The flames were not to cleanse one’s sins. The flames were to cleanse the world of the sinner’s soul, to cleanse the world of his soul.</p>
<p>Gilbert nodded. “Indeed. And there are no accounts of such a place in scripture. Yet those who cannot face their own sins have no choice but to cling to the idea.”</p>
<p>Dimitri grit his teeth and looked away. He would face his sins by submitting his life. To continue to live after all that he had done would be the gravest sin of all.</p>
<p>Mercedes interrupted his thoughts. “Ugh, I just don’t think I can take this heat anymore. I think I’m starting to see things… Near those mountains over there… Is it just me, or is there a group of people gathered there?”</p>
<p>“No… It would seem you are not hallucinating after all,” Gilbert said with trepidation. “No, but their banner is that of… No! It can’t be…”</p>
<p>The flag that the army appearing from the mountains was flying was House Rowe’s. They’d willingly submitted to the Empire, willingly submitted to Cornelia and tossed aside their loyalty, spitting upon his father’s memory. “That is House Rowe’s banner,” Dimitri hissed. “They curried favor with that witch and sold out Faerghus.”</p>
<p>Gilbert shook his head. “We messed up. There must have been a spy among us… Will you have us meet them in battle or wait for Rodrigue to arrive?”</p>
<p>To wait would be to waste time, time that could be spent plunging his lance into his enemies. “There is only one option. How kind of them to save us the trouble of killing them later.”</p>
<p>Byleth placed her hand on the hilt of her sword. “They sold out the Kingdom, right?”</p>
<p>They were traitorous filth that should be put down, and he’d already stated as such. “I will not repeat myself,” he told her. “That banner belongs to the Gray Lion. It’s a waste of breath to exchange words with one such as him.”</p>
<p>“His Highness is correct. He is not an opponent whom we can expect to negotiate with. Everyone! Prepare for the attack!” Gilbert ordered.</p>
<p>Byleth drew her blade, but Dimitri did not wait for her. He did not wait for anyone as he rushed in.</p>
<p>
  <i>Kill the traitors kill the traitors kill the traitors…</i>
</p>
<p>But everyone on the battlefield, even Dimitri himself paused when flames erupted around the reinforcements stationed upon the plateau and magma flooded over them, washing away the filth in its path.</p>
<p>“So, the flames of torment burn your sins, your life, your everything. If you wish to spare yourself the goddess’ wrath, tread lightly,” he called out to his companions. But he knew. That had not been the wrath of a goddess, that had been the weaponized wrath of a demon, the wrath of the demon that he was desperately in love with, even now.</p>
<p><i>She’s at least useful on the battlefield,</i> his father admitted. <i>But do not get distracted, boy.</i></p>
<p>She was proving herself to be a useful weapon. Dimitri resumed his rampage, aiming to be as effective a weapon as her. But he could not obey his father’s order. Not as he caught sight of Byleth foolishly rushing into a horde of soldiers by herself. Not as he lost sight of Byleth as that same horde of soldiers surrounded her.</p>
<p><i>She fell, she fell, she fell.</i> A reminder that she was not invincible.</p>
<p><i>Liar, liar, liar.</i> A reminder that she was distracting him. A reminder that his life was not his own, and he had no business wanting her.</p>
<p>But it didn’t stop him from changing his course and cutting his way to her. A soldier was behind her with his axe raised, and Dimitri put so much force into the swing of his lance in his fury that he cleaved the man in two.</p>
<p>Byleth whirled as his lance swung down, her eyes wide as she met his own. Her skin decorated with the blood of the man that sprayed from the split corpse, giving her a feral beauty as she tightened her grip on her sword, ready to slice through their enemies.</p>
<p>He turned, and they moved to stand back to back, just as they once had. And together, they lost themselves in the bloodlust as they cut through soldier after soldier.</p>
<p>The trance was broken when Rodrigue rode through the thinning line of foes. “So, Cornelia has planted spies even inside Garreg Mach.”</p>
<p>Even the mention of her name had him tensing up as phantom pain stabbed through his eye socket. The memory of that dagger coming closer and closer. The memory of being told Byleth was dead.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but turn to look at Byleth, to remind himself that she was there. She was alive. His eyes settled on the scar on her throat, visible even then, while she looked at Rodrigue.</p>
<p><i>That is</i> enough, <i>boy,</i> his father hissed at him.</p>
<p>Dimitri grit his teeth as Lord Gwendal called out, silencing the dead, “The Shield of Faerghus has appeared!”</p>
<p>Rodrigue looked between him and Byleth. “To meet you in a place like this… No, that won’t do. I’ll leave the talking until after the battle.” He turned behind him and waved his promised troops forward.</p>
<p>Byleth met his gaze. “Go. I’ll help cut a path,” she promised him.</p>
<p><i>Let her be a weapon, nothing more,</i> Glenn warned him.</p>
<p>Before he could respond, she rushed forward, whipping the Sword of the Creator out before her to do as she had said and cut a path.</p>
<p>
  <i>Kill the traitors kill the traitors kill the traitors.</i>
</p>
<p>He would. He sliced his way through to Lord Gwendal, greeting the man, “The man praised as a lion is reduced to a mere traitor’s underling.”</p>
<p>Lord Gwendal frowned. “A traitor’s underling? That’s upsetting, Your Highness. I am and have always been a knight of House Rowe.”</p>
<p><i>He betrayed our crown,</i> his father seethed. <i>He betrayed our throne. He spits upon my memory, my grave.</i></p>
<p>It was true. “How dare you?” Dimitri spit at the man as he locked his lance against his sword. “You are nothing but a lowly beast scavenging for scraps. You have forgotten the dignity of knighthood.”</p>
<p>Lord Gwendal shook his head. “I may be lowly, but this beast is loyal to his master.”</p>
<p>Loyal to that witch, that witch who was loyal to Edelgard, who had taken everything from him. Edelgard’s head. Edelgard’s head. Edelgard’s head. He couldn’t help but laugh as he imagined the joy that severing her head would bring. “Then I had better kill a pet and deliver its head to that master…” He shoved Gwendal’s sword back and then lashed out.</p>
<p>“Ah, so I have found a place to die… Young ones… I thank you,” Gwendal said as the blade swung towards him and then sliced through his neck.</p>
<p>A part of him was jealous. Wishing that he could finally find a place to die. But he could not until he took Edelgard’s head, just as he had taken Lord Gwendal’s. And then, he could go to the eternal flames.</p>
<p>“It is the way of knights to follow their master’s orders without argument,” Gilbert said as he arrived. “Lord Gwendal was a good man.”</p>
<p>He was not. He was nothing now. “Now he’s just a corpse.” Dimitri looked to Byleth, who had been guarding his back through the battle. “Let’s go. Rodrigue is waiting for us.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“It’s been too long, Your Highness.” Rodrigue’s lips split into a grin. “But try to temper your joy, will you? This is a war, after all.”</p>
<p>Nobody but Rodrigue could have such a relaxed attitude after such an ambush. “To say such a thing at a time like this. You have not changed one bit.” Rodrigue was much the same, but Dimitri was not. Dimitri was very much changed.</p>
<p>“Don’t let looks deceive you,” Rodrigue said with a shake of his head. “I’ve had a rough go of it ever since I crossed blades with those traitors in Fhirdiad. When I heard you’d been executed, I rushed there as fast as I could, blind with fury. When I got there, I was fed some garbage about not being able to see your body. The next thing I knew, I was gripping my blade and…” He turned to Gilbert. “Gilbert, you have done well to locate His Highness. I am truly grateful.” Then he looked to Byleth. “And you… I have you to thank, as well.”</p>
<p>But Byleth was not looking at Rodrigue. Byleth was looking at Dimitri. She was looking at him with the same intensity that he watched her with. There was still blood splattered across her cheeks, and it brought out the pink in her lips, the green in her eyes. </p>
<p>“We were all fortunate,” she finally said, glancing at Rodrigue before returning her gaze to hold his own.</p>
<p>“Well, we are in your debt,” Rodrigue told Byleth as he watched her intently. “I will repay you for this someday, I swear it.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue turned to Felix and Dimitri’s gaze flicked back to Byleth, her eyes still upon him. He was in her debt as well, but he would not promise to repay her. He would never be able to.</p>
<p>“And you, Felix… You have also done well to bring His Highness here,” Rodrigue said to his son.</p>
<p>Felix did not respond to his father.</p>
<p>But Dimitri would. He finally tore his attention from Byleth and looked to Rodrigue. “Tell us all you know, Rodrigue.”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid there’s not much to tell,” Rodrigue responded. “You are aware that the western region of the Kingdom was taken by the Empire, correct?”</p>
<p>He knew. He’d heard talk of it when he had been in the slums, and he’d seen the invasions from the so-called Dukedom coming into the remaining Kingdom territory as he slaughtered his way through the last five years. “Yes, so I have heard. They are now calling it the Faerghus Dukedom or some nonsense.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue nodded. “If you know that then the rest won’t take long. Enemy or not, it’s undeniable that Cornelia’s plan was nothing short of genius. After seizing power, she invited the Imperial army to Fhirdiad. There, she reorganized her troops and then sent soldiers to hunt me down. Because of that, we were forced to act defensively. And now we’re being forced into a difficult battle. She’s been controlling the situation all along.”</p>
<p>“So that’s been the witch’s plan from the start. I should have killed her ages ago,” Dimitri seethed. He had so much to deliver retribution to the witch for. His eye, his Kingdom, his dagger, his dagger, his dagger.</p>
<p>“Your Highness… Fhirdiad is in a terrible state right now. The tyranny is unbearable, and so the rebellions are endless. Refugees starve to death in the streets. If I may speak freely, Your Highness… We should change course for Fhirdiad and take down those traitors before we embark to Enbarr,” Rodrigue implored him.</p>
<p>He knew exactly what it was like, after having spent almost a year living on those very streets. But all of that pain paled in comparison to that of the dead, the demands of the dead.</p>
<p>
  <i>Take her head take her head take her head take her head…</i>
</p>
<p>“There is no time for that,” Dimitri explained, shaking his head. “We must annihilate Enbarr before all else.”</p>
<p>Why was it that no one seemed to understand the urgency? Byleth was the only one who had agreed readily with him that Enbarr was the right path, because she understood him.</p>
<p>Rodrigue shook his head and began carefully, “Think this through. I understand wanting to destroy the Empire and the emperor. I want that so much it hurts. But which is more important, the dead or the living?”</p>
<p>“Silence!” Dimitri hissed at him. The dead suffered. The dead suffered endlessly. The dead followed him. The dead followed him endlessly. The living could take care of themselves. The dead had only him.</p>
<p>Rodrigue lifted his chin. “No, Dimitri, you will hear me out.”</p>
<p>“Are you asking me… asking the dead… to forgive that woman?” Dimitri challenged, as the dead around him called out to <i>take her head take her head take her head…</i></p>
<p>“No, I would not ask that of you,” Rodrigue responded. “What I am asking is that you allow us to prioritize the Kingdom capital over the Imperial capital for now. As Lambert’s close and trusted friend, I am confident that he would have advised the same.”</p>
<p>Dimitri was trembling with rage. His father was advising nothing of the sort. His father was demanding, even now, that he take Edelgard’s head. His father was scolding him, even now, for wasting time. “Do not dare put words in the mouths of the dead. They are your words alone, even if you borrow their lips. Until I offer up that woman’s head, Father will remain a slave to his lingering regret and hatred… Even now, he suffers! It is ceaseless. As we waste time with idle chatter, his suffering continues!”</p>
<p>Rodrigue relented with a sigh and bowed. “You are my king. Our king. Wherever you lead, we will follow. But Your Highness… There are those who take up their sword in the name of revenge, and yet lose the strength and composure to follow through… You would do well to bear that in mind.”</p>
<p>He averted his eyes from Rodrigue. He would not fail. He had been living for the last nine years for this vengeance alone, and nothing could deter him from that path. He would walk that path alone if he had to.</p>
<p>Rodrigue turned to walk towards his horse. “Ah, I nearly forgot.” He returned, holding a lance out to Dimitri. “Take this, Your Highness. The time has come for it to be wielded by its true master.”</p>
<p>Dimitri could hardly believe what he was seeing. “Areadbhar… The Hero’s Relic once wielded by my father.”</p>
<p>“The very same. I managed to steal it back from one of Cornelia’s underlings in Fhirdiad,” Rodrigue explained.</p>
<p>One of his weapons safely retrieved from the witch. A dagger left to reclaim, if he were not dead before then.</p>
<p>“Understated as ever, Father. It must have been a true struggle to get it back,” Felix said with a shake of his head.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s hands were trembling when he reached out to take the lance. His father’s lance. “I… I am grateful, my friend.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue turned away from him. “Gilbert, Byleth. May I request something of you? I wish to fight at your side.”</p>
<p>Felix frowned. “Senile already, old man? Who will protect our territory?”</p>
<p>“I expected it would come to this, so I left those matters to my younger brother,” Rodrigue responded. “He has my complete faith. I must keep my promise to our fallen king… to my dear friend.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue at least understood that it was only the living who could carry the burdens of the dead.</p>
<p>“What promise?” Byleth inquired.</p>
<p>“A very old one. I swore it nearly ten years ago,” Rodrigue told her before turning to face Dimitri. “Now then, Your Highness. Let’s destroy the Empire together. My men and I will spare no effort. I pray that you are right… and that this will save the Kingdom.”</p>
<p>Edelgard’s head would offer salvation to the dead, and that was all that was needed. Nothing else mattered. And it would be justice to take her head with his father’s lance.</p>
<p>
  <i>TAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEAD…</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. The Rose-Colored River</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Kingdom's forces begin their offensive against the Empire by taking the Great Bridge of Myrddin.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CONTENT WARNING: Explicit sexual content, fingering.<br/>Both POVs it begins after "You said you'd use me until the flesh falls from my bones, so use me." and goes until scene break.</p>
<p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights (but there is a lot more doubling up post-timeskip).</p>
<p>Here is The Rose-Colored River! Blood of the Eagle and Lion will be up on Friday!!</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Poison &amp; Wine - The Civil Wars<br/>Closer - In This Moment<br/>ihateit - Underoath<br/>You and I - PVRIS</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>I made my way to the cathedral to sleep the night we’d finally gotten back from Ailell. I neared the pile of rubble, behind which the blanket that Dimitri had procured for me was hidden, but I stopped when I heard footsteps.</p>
<p>“Even though it’s in ruins, in some strange way, this monastery never truly changes, does it?” Rodrigue asked with a sad smile as he approached. “I studied at the Officers Academy when I was young. Those memories come rushing back whenever I return. What are you doing at this hour, anyway?”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t sleep.” It was not quite a lie, and far better than spilling the secret and explaining that Dimitri and I always slept here, warding away the other’s nightmares, or at least with him warding away mine.</p>
<p>Rodrigue chuckled. “It’s the same for me. Perhaps you’ll allow me to join you…”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“Much appreciated.” He was quiet for a moment before he sighed heavily. “I keep recalling my eldest son, Glenn… He was quite gifted. In fact, he was appointed a knight at the age of fifteen. I still vividly remember the day he was granted a sword from His Majesty…”</p>
<p>Glenn. I’d heard Dimitri speaking to Glenn as if he was haunted by him. “Your son… Isn’t he…”</p>
<p>“Dead,” Rodrigue finished for me. “He was killed nine years ago in Duscur. All that returned of him that day were his sword and his armor… After it happened, I said something horrible to Felix. I told him his brother died like a true knight. He’s hated me ever since… and I don’t blame him. No matter how much you grieve, the dead will never return. No magic in the world can bring them back. That’s why their memory clings to the living like a curse. The more they were loved, the tighter their hold, and the more suffering they cause… I fear I am not a strong enough man to scold His Highness for his foolishness.”</p>
<p>“I know how you feel,” I confessed. Dimitri had understood me when the death of my father had threatened to break me. He’d had faith that I would return when I’d been trapped in the darkness as I pursued my own vengeance.</p>
<p>There were so many words that I wanted to say to him, most of all being <i>I love you</i>, but they always died on my tongue when I realized that losing him would be worse than enabling him. That all I could do was have faith in him as I remained at his side.</p>
<p>“As adults, it is our responsibility to scold him and help him find his way again, but really… I’m just a failure of a man.” Rodrigue shook his head gently. “Byleth… I entrust the young prince, and the future of Faerghus, to you.”</p>
<p>I didn’t know if I could save him. But if I could not pull him from the darkness, I would remain in it with him. “I won’t let you down,” I promised.</p>
<p>Rodrigue chuckled. “You’re a brave one, aren’t you? One worthy of leading the Church of Seiros, I daresay.”</p>
<p>“I’m not here for the church,” I countered sharply, more sharply than I intended.</p>
<p>“I know. I see the way you look at him.” Rodrigue gave me a small smile. “Why do you think I am entrusting him to you?”</p>
<p>Because I loved him. I loved him so much it consumed me. I had for a long time. I had before I died, and that love had survived even when I had not.</p>
<p>I nodded, because I did not have the words for the ineffable way that I loved the prince. The ineffable way that it did not matter if the prince ever loved me the same, I would always love him.</p>
<p>“You should know that I have no intention of insisting you take back Fhirdiad. All I ask is that you continue to rein in Dimitri’s manic desire for revenge.” He was quiet for a moment. “I’m glad you were the one assigned to lead the Blue Lion House, Byleth. I mean that…”</p>
<p>“I chose them,” I said softly. And I couldn’t help but recall a conversation from years ago, when I had told my father the same thing.</p>
<p>Rodrigue’s eyebrows rose. “May I ask why?”</p>
<p>“You know why.” If he could see the feelings I was trying so hard not to overwhelm and chase Dimitri away with when I knew he would choose his vengeance over me, then perhaps Rodrigue could also see the way I’d always been drawn to him.</p>
<p>“And if you had it to do over again?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I’d choose him. Always.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The feel around the monastery had changed as the days passed while we waited for a response from Claude, to see if he would aid us or if we would be on our own.</p>
<p>Rodrigue had not just brought soldiers with him, but also supplies, and those supplies included generous amounts of food. The meals had gone from small portions that lacked flavor to dishes that I actually looked forward to eating.</p>
<p>I spent some of my free time in the greenhouse, tending to the new growth that was beginning to form buds.</p>
<p>But even as morale improved, there was still unease in the air as the reality of war hovered over us.</p>
<p>Sylvain still couldn’t believe we’d actually encountered and killed Lord Gwendal, remarking that he’d had a run-in with the lord once when pursuing his daughter. It was only thanks to Ingrid that things had been smoothed over in Sylvain’s aftermath.</p>
<p>Mercedes expressed a desire to bake some treats, and admitted that it was just as much to provide a distraction for Annette from the idea of facing old friends on the field of battle as it was to boost morale.</p>
<p>Felix was alarmed that Rodrigue had actually abandoned his territory to join us, but did at least agree that his uncle was competent enough to handle things in his father’s stead.</p>
<p>It was Rodrigue himself who found me to inform me when we received news of House Riegan’s consent and we began to make final preparations to begin our offensive.</p>
<hr/>
<p>We would begin our march towards the Great Bridge of Myrddin the next day. The scene in the dining hall at dinner that night was drastically different from the grim atmosphere I had expected. Rodrigue and his soldiers were laughing and chatting jovially over mugs of ale.</p>
<p>Rodrigue waved me over to the table he was sitting at when I entered. “Byleth! Come join us!”</p>
<p>I glanced amongst the group and sat down as a space was cleared on the bench opposite Rodrigue.</p>
<p>“Are you prepared to head out tomorrow?” Rodrigue asked.</p>
<p>I nodded. We were as prepared as we could be.</p>
<p>“If we make it through Gloucester territory and across the Great Bridge of Myrddin, we’ll be in Empire territory. You are not afraid, are you?”</p>
<p>“A little,” I admitted quietly, wishing that I was not surrounded by his soldiers at that moment.</p>
<p>Rodrigue let out a laugh. “No need to worry. Don’t you underestimate the power of my soldiers.” He raised his mug in the air as the men sharing the table with us cheered and raised their own mugs.</p>
<p>“Have a drink with us,” Rodrigue implored me. “You seem like you could use it.”</p>
<p>I didn’t have a lot of experience with alcohol. I had tried it a few times while traveling with my father and his mercenaries, but had disliked the lack of control that it caused me to feel. But now… my heart was heavy, and just for one night, letting go of that weight sounded wonderful, like it might give me the chance to catch my breath before shouldering it once again.</p>
<p>I reluctantly nodded, and another cheer erupted from the table as a mug was slapped down in front of me.</p>
<p>We talked about many things over our mugs of ale that evening. Rodrigue, his soldiers, and I all swapped stories of the training we’d undergone. The legend of the Ashen Demon had come up, and I admitted that it was my title. One soldier foolishly challenged me to see who could drink a mug of ale the fastest, underestimating the ravenous way that I consumed food and drink. Rodrigue himself challenged me after that, but I still drank faster than him.</p>
<p>“Even after all these decades, the academy hasn’t changed a bit,” Rodrigue mused to me as the night began to wind down. “I remember it well, even now. I used to sneak out of lectures with Lambert almost every day…”</p>
<p>“You’ll be happy to know that both Felix and Dimitri had excellent attendance,” I told him.</p>
<p>“I imagine they did,” he responded with a grin. “Ah, but the night is getting late and we have a long march beginning in the morning. We should get some rest.”</p>
<p>I nodded, but when I rose to my feet I found them unsteady beneath me. Rodrigue and another soldier caught me as I stumbled.</p>
<p>“I never thought I’d see the Ashen Demon stumbling drunk!” the soldier said with a laugh.</p>
<p>“The Ashen Demon has never been stumbling drunk before,” I mumbled as I let them support me.</p>
<p>Rodrigue chuckled. “We shall consider it an honor that you joined us then. Now, let’s get you to your room.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue and the soldier helped me to my room, but that wasn’t where I slept. I couldn’t get the words out though. Not because I couldn’t speak, but because the heaviness threatened to settle over me again when I thought of the arrangement in the cathedral, when I thought of the fact that only Dimitri was able to chase away my nightmares, but I couldn’t seem to chase away his.</p>
<p>The soldier waited outside the door while Rodrigue brought me into my room. But the moment I sat on my bed, I went rigid as that familiar icy panic sank its claws into my heart.</p>
<p>No. No. No. My head spun when I closed my eyes. I was certain that if I closed them and slept, years would have gone by if I ever woke again. And this time, there would be no second chance. No chance to correct my failure. There would be no one waiting for me.</p>
<p>“Byleth.” Rodrigue's voice broke through the terror. “Are you alright?”</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” I said quietly. “Get Dimitri.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue nodded hesitantly and turned towards the door.</p>
<p>“He’ll be in the cathedral,” I told him.</p>
<p>He glanced back, gave me another nod, and departed.</p>
<p>My skin felt hot all over and the room continued to tilt if I closed my eyes. I didn’t know why anyone would enjoy this--it reminded me vividly of the time I’d been ill. I felt a little cooler by the time I removed my jacket, my boots, and my armor, leaving just my shirt, shorts, and stockings in place. I laid down on my bed as I waited.</p>
<p>The door opened without a knock to announce his arrival first. Dimitri stalked into the room, and relief flooded through me with his arrival. Like I was safe, like I was home.</p>
<p>He stopped next to the bed and settled his piercing blue eye on me. I loved him. I loved him so much I was sick with it.</p>
<p>“What is so important that you ordered me here,” he hissed.</p>
<p>“I… I don’t want to sleep tonight. I’m afraid,” I said softly.</p>
<p>That piercing blue eye narrowed. “You’re drunk.”</p>
<p>I nodded. I was. I was a drunken fool who was afraid of sleeping and in love with a man who detested me.</p>
<p>He turned back towards the door without another word.</p>
<p>I reached out and caught the edge of his cloak. <i>Please, don’t leave me,</i> I wanted to beg. And I did actually beg, in less words, “Don’t go.”</p>
<p>He stopped, but he did not turn around. “Let me go.”</p>
<p>“I can’t.” I couldn’t let him go. I would follow him until the end, even if that end was my own.</p>
<p>He whirled on me, moving forward to kneel next to the bed and put his face close to mine. “If you stand in my way, I will strike you down.”</p>
<p>“If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you,” I whispered. I would kill anyone, should he ask it of me. Even myself. I drew my dagger from my hip where I’d forgotten to remove it and pressed it into his hand. I folded his fingers around the hilt as I pulled his arm towards me, pushing the point of the weapon just under my left breast, angling it towards my flawed heart.</p>
<p>His posture stiffened as he dropped his gaze from me and stared at the dagger.</p>
<p>I didn’t know why he was hesitating. I wouldn’t stop him. I tilted my head back, exposing my neck where he’d already drawn blood with both his lance and his teeth. “Would you prefer this?”</p>
<p>I tried to pull his hand, still clenching the dagger, up towards my awaiting throat, when he wrenched his hand from mine and threw the weapon from his grasp, letting it clatter to the floor.</p>
<p>“You can use your bare hands, if you’d like.” I reached for his hands again, to wrap them around my throat. It would not be so bad to die at his hands.</p>
<p>In a swift movement, he grabbed my wrists tightly in one hand and pinned my arms above my head as he rose from his knees and moved onto the bed, settling himself over me.</p>
<p>“Shut up,” he growled.</p>
<p>“Make me,” I challenged.</p>
<p>His hand around my wrists squeezed tighter, tightly enough that it was sure to bruise.</p>
<p>“Why aren’t you fighting me?” he demanded as he loosened his grip, just enough to where it didn’t hurt anymore.</p>
<p>I wasn’t fighting him because I ached for him, because I lived for him, because I would die for him. “You said you’d use me until the flesh falls from my bones, so use me.”</p>
<p>I’d barely gotten the last word out when his lips slammed into mine. He pushed his tongue into my mouth before I could even part my lips to let him. And all I could do was give myself over to the passion kindling a fire within me.</p>
<p>His hand released my wrists for just a moment, and when he secured his grip again, it was not his glove I felt, but his warm skin, his calloused palms from a lifetime spent with a weapon in hand.</p>
<p>I wanted those hands everywhere. I wanted to feel his skin against mine, I wanted to take all of him for myself.</p>
<p>And without me saying anything, he was obliging. His free hand slid across my bare stomach, and then his fingers slipped under the edge of my shirt. But he did not stop there. His hand slid up under the fabric, up to where he clasped his fingers around my right breast and gently squeezed.</p>
<p>I couldn’t help myself as I moaned into his mouth. I wanted to beg him to take all of me, just as I wanted to consume all of him.</p>
<p>He growled into my mouth in response as he shifted his hand to pinch my peaked nipple with his fingers.</p>
<p>I arched my back into him, pressing my hips against his, begging him to go where that fire was concentrating and threatening to burn me alive between my thighs.</p>
<p>Dimitri finally tore his lips from mine, his breathing heavy. He released my wrists and pulled away from me. He met my gaze for a split second before he looked away, and the look in his eye had me guiltily wondering who was using who. If I was going to use up the scraps of whatever he might feel for me, leaving only the hatred behind, and he would finally leave me.</p>
<p>Those thoughts vanished as the hand that had been restraining my wrists moved down to the waistline of my shorts. And then that hand slid where I had once dreamed of it being, pretending that my own hand was his.</p>
<p>I shivered in anticipation and held my breath as he slid a finger up my drenched center, and then that breath escaped me in a moan as that finger slid <i>into</i> my center. He lazily slid that finger in and out, delivering a pleasure that was almost painful as the fire within me burned.</p>
<p>He finally pulled his finger out and settled his gaze on me as he languidly traced up and down my wet slit.</p>
<p>“Please,” I begged him. If he stopped, if he didn’t give that fire an outlet, it would burn me up inside before it guttered out, and I was certain to die along with it.</p>
<p>He did not deny me, holding my gaze as he slid that finger back in where I didn’t just crave him, I <i>needed</i> him. And then I took a sharp breath as he slid a second finger in to fill me.</p>
<p>He rocked his fingers in and out while his thumb pressed and rubbed against the sensitive nub, slowly at first, indolently increasing his pace.</p>
<p>He continued feeding the fire within me until it became a wild blaze and I threw my head back as that passion, that pleasure, burned through me.</p>
<p>He increased his pace and I couldn’t stop myself as I moaned his name. <i>Dimitri</i>, who I breathed for, I burned for, I would give everything to.</p>
<p>He froze, pulling his hand from my breast, and then abruptly withdrew his fingers from within me, leaving me empty where he should have been.</p>
<p>My head was spinning, not with drink but with the aftermath of the release he had granted me, and my breathing was heavy.</p>
<p>He rose quickly from the bed, snatching his gloves up from the sheets where he must have set them when he’d taken them off. He stopped when he reached the door.</p>
<p>“Sleep in the cathedral if you wish. But this will not happen again,” he said without looking back, and then he disappeared out the door.</p>
<p>I was not a good person. I was selfish. All I wanted was for this to happen again, to take every piece of him that he was willing to offer me. I even wanted to take the pieces of him that he didn’t offer. I wanted to claim him as my own, even as I had no right to do so.</p>
<p>I would undoubtedly go to the cathedral again to sleep when we returned from the Great Bridge of Myrddin, but that night, the climax he’d drawn from me granted me a reprieve from the fear, and I slept, dreaming not of falling, but of falling in love, of the feel of his skin on mine.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I felt horrible inside and out for the first day of our march. I was nauseated and my head was pounding. There was a hand shaped bruise on my wrists, hidden under the bracers. But worse than my body was my heart. My heart absolutely ached as I recalled the events of the night before, the fool I’d made of myself, and worse, the way I didn’t regret it.</p>
<p>Dimitri didn’t say a word to me about what had happened, and I didn’t bring it up either, afraid that he would rescind the offer to allow me to continue sleeping in the cathedral upon our return to the monastery, afraid of the way my heart would shatter if he told me that he hated me for using him.</p>
<p>My body felt better by the time we made camp near the fortress of the Great Bridge of Myrddin, and the pain in my heart had dulled as Dimitri had silently marched at my side through the days it took to arrive.</p>
<p>I was summoned to a council with Gilbert and Dimitri in the morning.</p>
<p>“Our scout has returned. As expected, there are quite a few Imperial soldiers stationed there. Ladislava seems to be leading them,” Gilbert reported.</p>
<p>“I see. So, the enemy has prepared for our arrival… It matters not. I will kill them all, whether they are one or one hundred,” Dimitri responded severely.</p>
<p>“That’s not necessary,” I said carefully as I thought of Rodrigue’s request to rein in Dimitri’s desire for revenge, the desire for revenge that was slowly devouring him.</p>
<p>Dimitri narrowed his eye at me. “What would you do, if you saw the people who stole everything from you? If you saw them right before your eyes, living carefree lives and feeling no guilt. Would you feel nothing? Do nothing? Five years ago… Did you not deem the woman who killed Jeralt to be unforgivable? I am most certain that you did. You couldn’t let her get away with her crime, so you took up your sword in pursuit.”</p>
<p>I still remembered screaming at him that I would kill Kronya, still remembered him comforting me in my despair, and then being prepared to face Rhea’s wrath to enable me to seek my revenge.</p>
<p>I was the wrong person to try and convince him to take a different path. Because he and I were the same. We had been for a long time, possessed by the same dark impulses, capable of the same atrocities. It was part of why I loved him--because he could understand the real me, accept the unacceptable thing within myself.</p>
<p>“You’re right,” I finally agreed.</p>
<p>“Precisely my point. We’re the same, you and I,” Dimitri said, holding my gaze. The intensity in his eye was like that of the night he’d come to my room, like that of when he’d cushioned my fall in the training grounds.</p>
<p>I’d once wished to see the unacceptable thing within him, to see if he was the same as me. He was finally showing it to me, and it only made me yearn for him more, knowing that he understood that we were the same, that he could understand me.</p>
<p>“You’re wasting your time,” Felix said as he came up to us, finally drawing my gaze from the prince. “There’s nothing to be gained from exchanging words with a boar that has lost its mind.”</p>
<p>“Felix,” Gilbert reprimanded sharply.</p>
<p>“This is war. Every last one of us has lost someone we care for,” Felix stated bitterly. “But we all choose to suppress our anger and grief and go right on living. Do you know why?”</p>
<p>I did know why. Because vengeance would not fill the emptiness. Pursuing my revenge had sent me into the darkness, and the cost to escape that darkness had damaged me just as much as my father’s death. And I feared what the cost would be for Dimitri, if he was able to escape it at all.</p>
<p>“Because it’s pointless,” I said quietly.</p>
<p>“That’s right,” Felix said with a nod. “All the boar is accomplishing is stacking up more corpses.”</p>
<p>“Tell me, Felix… If the dead are beyond reach, is it not also pointless to mourn or even bury those who are lost?” Dimitri demanded.</p>
<p>Felix let out an angry laugh. “That mind of yours. I’m done here.” He turned to me. “Remember, Byleth. It’s not compassion for this fool that has brought our army so far. There are those of us who despise the Empire, and those who side with the church. If we keep running down this path, it’s only a matter of time before the ground beneath us collapses.”</p>
<p>I knew in my heart that he wasn’t wrong, even though I had come this far because of that compassion. But his choice of words had the icy fangs of fear cutting into me, deep in my soul, as I recalled what it was like to have the ground collapse beneath my feet.</p>
<p>“That’s enough, Felix,” Rodrigue said sternly as he joined us.</p>
<p>Felix glared at his father. “Hmph. You’re a damned fool, old man.”</p>
<p>I was a fool, too.</p>
<p>“The soldiers are ready to march on your command,” Rodrigue reported to Dimitri.</p>
<p>“Then let’s move out at once,” Dimitri responded with a nod. “Every moment counts.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue bowed. “Understood. Let’s show those Empire dastards the power of the Knights of Faerghus!”</p>
<hr/>
<p>We couldn’t see her as we advanced towards the fortress, but we could hear someone barking orders amidst the fray. It must have been Ladislava.</p>
<p>“Edelgard’s dog, huh? All the more reason to kill her,” Dimitri said with a grin.</p>
<p>“Attack Ladislava and take the bridge. Shall we begin?” Rodrigue called to our own troops.</p>
<p>Once we entered the fortress, a voice rang out, but it came from behind us. “Your Highness!”</p>
<p>I froze as I recognized that voice. Dimitri froze at my side.</p>
<p>“Apologies for the late arrival,” Dedue called out as he joined the rear of our force. The top of his hair was grown out and bound with the sides shaved short--it almost reminded of my father’s hair. Scars were scattered across his face, but he was very much alive.</p>
<p>“Dedue… You’re alive… How?!” Dimitri demanded, but it wasn’t with the usual anger or coldness that permeated most of his interactions--it was with audible relief.</p>
<p>“We can discuss it later. For now, allow me to join your forces,” Dedue responded as he shouldered his way up to the front.</p>
<p>All I could do was offer him a nod as my throat had tightened to the point where I didn’t trust myself to speak without my voice breaking.</p>
<p>Dimitri tightened his grip on Areadbhar as Dedue reached his side.</p>
<p>I did not waste any time plunging into the fray after that, knowing that Dimitri’s shield had returned to his side. Knowing that Dedue would protect him, leaving me free to do as I’d promised, to be his sword.</p>
<p>I cut my way to the main fort, when Lorenz rode out from the gate. He’d grown his purple hair past his shoulders and it was combed over to the right side. “It’s been a while, Professor,” he greeted me. “If this were anywhere but a battlefield, I would offer you tea. I’ve no choice but to follow the Empire, if I wish to live. I hope you will not think ill of me.”</p>
<p>I would kill anyone for Dimitri, I wouldn’t hesitate if it was necessary. But he was the same person who had taught me that words could also be a path to peace.</p>
<p>I quickly glanced behind me to make sure that the prince was not near me before turning back to Lorenz. “You will die here if you follow the Empire.”</p>
<p>His face paled as he watched me tighten my grip on my sword, evidence of my resolve.</p>
<p>“To oppose the Empire at a time like this would be entirely too reckless,” he argued.</p>
<p>“You can flee and oppose them, or you can fall to my blade now. I am giving you the choice.”</p>
<p>“But… to turn against House Gloucester… No--I can convince my father. I will help you topple the Empire, I swear it!” he promised.</p>
<p>“Then run. Now,” I ordered him, wanting him to get away before he was seen by Dimitri, before Dimitri labeled him as an enemy. “Do not be seen by the Kingdom’s forces. And… if you betray us, I <i>will</i> kill you.”</p>
<p>Lorenz hesitantly nodded and turned to flee as instructed. “I’ll repay you for this someday,” he assured me, and then he vanished into the fray.</p>
<p>I immersed myself back in the battle, losing myself in the swing of my sword, becoming the swing of my sword, until I came face-to-face with Ferdinand. His apricot-colored hair fell to the middle of his back.</p>
<p>“So, you really are alive… Edelgard has always been obsessed with you,” he said, his eyes widening as he beheld me.</p>
<p>I had been unable to forgive Edelgard before my death, and that grudge had been resurrected with me. I opened my mouth to retort when I was interrupted by Dimitri’s seething voice, “How dare you!”</p>
<p>He was staring at Ferdinand with a wild look in his eye. He lunged forward, but not with Areadbhar. He lunged forward and plunged his hand into Ferdinand’s abdomen, crushing through steel armor. He twisted his hand in Ferdinand’s body cavity, and then ripped back out. But his hand was not empty. He was grasping entrails and pulling them out, piling them at his feet. “Byleth is <i>mine</i>.”</p>
<p>I fell even more in love with him in that moment. As I understood the weight of his action, as I beheld the savagery of his jealousy, as I witnessed the twisted way that I desperately wanted to believe he might love me.</p>
<p>And it was because I loved him that I reached out and took hold of the hands of time and wound them back.</p>
<p>“So, you really are alive… Edelgard has always been obsessed with you,” Ferdinand said, his eyes widening as he beheld me.</p>
<p>The colors around me settled back into their natural order after my interruption. I did not waste time. I did not open my mouth to retort. I did not wait for Dimitri to speak, not even knowing exactly when he’d arrived at my side. I gripped my blade and rushed forward, ducking the swing of Ferdinand’s lance and plunged my sword through his chest.</p>
<p>It was because I loved Dimitri that I spared him from the depravity of his actions and took them upon myself instead. Dimitri, whose gaze settled on me as I drew my blade from Ferdinand, who fell to the ground coughing weakly.</p>
<p>Our focus was immediately drawn to the sky as a wyvern shot through the air towards us. Ingrid was in pursuit, but the wyvern was faster than the pegasus in a dive.</p>
<p>“Retreat, Ladislava! Tell Her Majesty about this!” Ferdinand called from the ground, even as he coughed again, spitting up blood with it.</p>
<p>The woman atop the wyvern who had to be Ladislava responded as she landed before us, “We’ve already sent a messenger! I can’t let you die here while I flee!”</p>
<p>But Dimitri’s laughter cut in. “He’s already dead.”</p>
<p>We exchanged a glance and then moved together. Dimitri lunged for Ladislava. Her wyvern snapped its jaws at him, but I was there, catching the attack against my sword, leaving him free to run her through with his lance.</p>
<p>The wyvern let out a terrible cry as its master fell from the saddle and surged for me with its jaws wide open. I was ready to step out of the way, but an arm circled around my waist and Dimitri pulled me back before I could move, and then I brought my sword down on the beast’s neck. And my heart ached for the beast, because I understood love, and I understood wanting to protect someone.</p>
<p>“It’s a farce,” Dimitri bit out as he drew his lance from Ladislava’s body. “All of it…”</p>
<hr/>
<p>We’d taken the fortress, the Great Bridge of Myrddin moving under control of the Kingdom. We set about cleaning up after the battle, intending to leave a force behind to occupy the fort.</p>
<p>It was not long before Dimitri found me.</p>
<p>He folded his arms across his chest and his brow was furrowed as he spoke, “Idiots. Embracing death for the sake of that woman. Truly foolish…”</p>
<p>“What troubles you?” I asked as gently as I could, hoping I’d found a crack in the walls between us.</p>
<p>“I… I don’t know,” he admitted.</p>
<p>“Do you regret killing them?”</p>
<p>“They were just beasts with human faces,” he responded quickly. “I had no choice but to kill them, and so I did. That… that is all there is to it.”</p>
<p>But his brow remained furrowed, the lips that I longed to kiss even then were tilted down in a frown. And even if I wanted to hear the words <i>Byleth is mine</i>, I knew that I had done the right thing in sparing him from the way he’d killed Ferdinand.</p>
<p>Before I could say anything else, Rodrigue approached. “It’s about time you two returned. We must discuss our next course of action.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue led us away, but he paused as we passed by a young girl arguing with one of the Kingdom’s soldiers. She had light brown hair braided and held in blue ribbons on either side of her head.</p>
<p>“Please! I need to join you, no matter the cost!” the girl begged.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, but my hands are tied,” the soldier responded gently.</p>
<p>“By the goddess! What’s with all the commotion?” Rodrigue demanded.</p>
<p>The girl turned to look at us and uttered a gasp as her blue-gray eyes fell on Dimitri standing behind Rodrigue and I. Something flashed in her eyes, but I couldn’t quite place it. The intensity of her gaze had me shifting in a useless attempt to block her view of the prince.</p>
<p>“What is this girl doing here?” Rodrigue demanded again. “This is an army, not an orphanage.”</p>
<p>“I believe she’s from a nearby village. She keeps insisting that she needs to join our ranks,” the soldier reported.</p>
<p>Rodrigue shook his head incredulously. “And you thought we could use a child on the front lines? Hurry up and take her back to her parents.”</p>
<p>The girl turned to face Rodrigue and dropped her head. “My family is gone. I don’t have anywhere else to go. Please! I can use magic and I can fight! I can cook, do laundry, anything!”</p>
<p>Rodrigue frowned. “I’m sure there are plenty of more suitable places to find work. Why are you so fixated on this army, young lady?”</p>
<p>She lifted her chin as her expression turned severe and defiant. “I need… to get revenge. I must strike down the one who murdered my big brother!”</p>
<p>Rodrigue looked to Dimitri. “Your Highness… What should we do?”</p>
<p>Dimitri crossed his arms. “Let her do as she pleases.”</p>
<p>“Thank you… very much,” the girl responded.</p>
<p>I should’ve known the plea for revenge would sway him. He, who was so consumed by his pursuit of vengeance now. He, who had understood my own pursuit of vengeance, because he was right. We were the same.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>The sound of voices had Dimitri pausing on his way into the cathedral, drawing back into the shadows and doing his best to mask his footsteps. It was difficult while wearing armor, but he’d had plenty of practice during that year he’d spent in the slums.</p>
<p>By the time he was near enough to make out the words, he recognized Rodrigue’s voice. “I’m glad you were the one assigned to lead the Blue Lion House, Byleth. I mean that…”</p>
<p>It was one of the few lucky moments that Dimitri had experienced in his life. He remembered thinking as much five years ago, and that was before he’d fallen irrevocably in love with her. And just as it had been one of the few lucky moments in his life, it was certain to be one of the most unfortunate events in Byleth’s life, the chance assignment that had tangled her fate with his.</p>
<p>“I chose them,” Byleth murmured, her voice quiet enough that Dimitri was sure for a moment that he had misheard.</p>
<p>No, he had been certain that the assignments were random. She had never once indicated that she had been given a choice in leading the Blue Lions…</p>
<p>“May I ask why?” Rodrigue asked, and Dimitri held his breath as he waited for the answer.</p>
<p>But Byleth’s answer did not prove to be illuminating as she responded, “You know why.”</p>
<p>He did not know why. It couldn’t have been for him. He wished that she had chosen him, but even if it was true that she chose, she had chosen the Blue Lions, not him.</p>
<p>Rodrigue continued, “And if you had it to do over again?”</p>
<p>It wasn’t possible to wind back the clock. Time marched ever onward, and only in one direction. But he understood the question. The question of if she regretted the choice that had intertwined their paths, the choice that had led her to be cursed to remain by his side.</p>
<p>Byleth’s answer was cruel, cruel to taunt his dead heart with hope, as she said, “I’d choose him. Always.”</p>
<p><i>She’s talking with</i> my <i>father. It’s probably Felix, someone who is so much like her,</i> Glenn taunted him.</p>
<p>But he wanted to believe that she meant him. He wanted to believe that she would choose him, even seeing him as he was now. And he wanted to choose her, but the dead would not allow it.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri was not surprised to hear footsteps approaching him in the cathedral that night, as Byleth was undoubtedly finally making her way in to sleep. He always waited for her to take her place on the pew, always waited until her breathing slowed with sleep, before he finally retreated to his own corner.</p>
<p>But he was surprised when he glanced back and saw Rodrigue nearing instead. Rodrigue met his gaze, and the man’s brows were furrowed and he was wearing a deep frown. Something was wrong. Something was wrong and Byleth was still not where she should be.</p>
<p>Dimitri whirled and took brisk steps to meet Rodrigue halfway.</p>
<p>“Byleth--” Rodrigue began.</p>
<p>“Where is she?” Dimitri demanded.</p>
<p>Rodrigue responded quickly, “In her room.”</p>
<p>Dimitri grit his teeth as he pushed past Rodrigue. He walked as quickly as he could, rushing to her room. Something was wrong. Something was wrong for her to not have gone to the cathedral as she’d done every night since she’d first slept there. Something was very wrong for Rodrigue to have been sent to get him.</p>
<p>He’d only actually been in her room twice. The first time had been when she was so ill that she had collapsed on the floor. The second time had been when he carried her back to her bed when she’d fallen asleep stargazing, after she’d hurt herself.</p>
<p>The thought of what might await him behind the door now had him throwing it open in a panic and sweeping into the room. Only to find her lying on her bed with none of her armor on, like she’d actually been preparing to sleep.</p>
<p>The panic that had gripped him tightly quickly transitioned to anger. Anger that she had summoned him when nothing was wrong, fury that he was so consumed with her that he had rushed over so foolishly. And rage that she had actually been intending to sleep in her room and not in the cathedral, not with him, where she belonged, where she was cursed to belong.</p>
<p>That anger had him demanding, “What is so important that you ordered me here.”</p>
<p>“I… I don’t want to sleep tonight. I’m afraid,” she responded softly.</p>
<p>He glared at her as he took in the flush in her cheeks, the scent of ale that lingered amongst the spring rain. “You’re drunk.”</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>She was a fool. If she was truly afraid, then she could have simply gone to the cathedral, as she always did. Where he had been waiting for her. He turned to leave, to go back to the cathedral where he would wait for her still.</p>
<p>He felt a tug at his shoulders, almost like five years ago, when she had asked him to stay. His fists clenched as the memory tormented him.</p>
<p>“Don’t go,” she whispered.</p>
<p>“Let me go,” he ordered. She would be far better off if she let him go, let him self-destruct on his own without dragging her down with him. Even as he wanted her to refuse. Even as he wanted her to beg him to stay.</p>
<p>“I can’t.”</p>
<p>Part of him was relieved. The other part of him wanted to mourn for her.</p>
<p><i>She’s becoming a problem. Ordering you around. Distracting you for far too long,</i> his father seethed. <i>She’s inebriated, this is the perfect chance to take care of her. Kill her. Kill her now.</i></p>
<p>No. A warning. A warning would be enough to appease the dead. A warning that she had to remain useful, as his weapon, to stay at his side.</p>
<p><i>You don’t have it in you to even do that. You’re weak, boy,</i> his father hissed.</p>
<p>Dimitri grit his teeth and turned, moving to kneel at the side of the bed, bringing his face to hers. “If you stand in my way, I will strike you down,” he warned her. A lie, hopefully a convincing enough lie to satisfy his father.</p>
<p>“If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you,” she murmured, as he felt her press something into his hand, as he felt her fold his fingers around the hilt of her dagger. As she pulled his arm, angling the tip of her dagger just below her left breast, pointing to her heart. Her heart that did not beat. He didn’t even know if such a wound would kill her, and he never wanted to find out.</p>
<p>He stared at the dagger. The dagger that had been just another thing that had drawn him to her. The dagger that she still had, while he no longer had the dagger that he treasured above all others.</p>
<p>She lifted her chin, baring her neck to him. “Would you prefer this?” He watched as her throat moved with her words, the scar where his lance had pierced shifting.</p>
<p>She tugged at his hand, but he tore his hand from her grip and tossed the dagger to the ground. It seemed the alcohol had loosened her tongue along with any chains she kept on the demon within her, as her cruelty and wickedness shone through.</p>
<p>She had to know that he could never do it. He could never strike her down, never kill her as he had killed so many others. She was the only one who mattered to him more than the dead, the only one he wished he wasn’t too stained, too far gone, to love. The only one who’d ever been capable of understanding the unacceptable thing within him, the unacceptable thing that he had become.</p>
<p>Her words cut through his thoughts. “You can use your bare hands, if you’d like.” She moved to grab his hands again, no doubt to wrap them around her neck. And he was tiring of her viciousness--viciousness that he loved her for, but not when it was turned against him, no matter how much he deserved it.</p>
<p>He caught her wrists in one hand and held them against the bed, above her head, as he moved to straddle her, pinning her hips so she couldn’t move. “Shut up,” he snarled at her.</p>
<p>“Make me.”</p>
<p>She was a drunken fool. A wicked, drunken fool. She knew the atrocities that he was capable of committing, she knew it was within his power to shut her up.</p>
<p>He tightened his grip around her wrists, tight enough that he knew it would leave a mark. She did not resist, she did not strain against him, she did not even protest. She just stared up at him with those seafoam eyes.</p>
<p>“Why aren’t you fighting me?” he asked, relaxing his hold on her wrists. He <i>wanted</i> her to fight him. Because if she did not… he would ravage her, he would ruin her.</p>
<p>“You said you’d use me until the flesh falls from my bones, so use me.”</p>
<p>He pressed his lips against hers to stop the words. To stop her as she threw his own words back at him. He roughly forced his tongue into her mouth, her warm, wet mouth. He wanted to feel the other part of her that was sure to be warm and wet.</p>
<p>He would show her exactly what it meant to be used by him. And he would do it with his bare hands.</p>
<p>He let go of her wrists long enough to remove his gloves and toss them to the side before resuming his grasp, holding tightly to her warm skin. He wanted to let his hands roam all over her, feel her soft skin beneath his fingers.</p>
<p>He could lie to himself and say he was doing it to shut her up, to punish her. But deep down, he knew. It was because he still couldn’t resist her. Because she was the only thing that made him feel alive again, her presence, the feel of her skin on his.</p>
<p>And deep down, he knew that was why he was letting his hand slide across her stomach and then under her shirt. He slid his hand up further, over her ribcage, to grasp and massage her breast.</p>
<p>She moaned against his touch, the sound captured by his continued kiss. He couldn’t help himself as a satisfied rumble rose from his chest and he moved to press her erect nipple between his thumb and forefinger. She lifted her hips off the bed to press her body against his.</p>
<p>He finally broke the kiss, catching his breath as he drew back from her. But it was not to stop. It was to give him access to the divinity between her thighs.</p>
<p>His cock throbbed painfully, pressing against his pants, demanding that he abandon ceremony and bury himself within her. But he wanted to take his time, he wanted to indulge in his fantasies--he wanted to use her with his hands, his mouth, and then his cock.</p>
<p>He let go of her wrists and his eye met hers for just a moment. But he looked away as guilt threatened to stop him, the sick feeling that came with knowing he was going to ruin something so radiant and pure.</p>
<p>Instead he settled his gaze at the apex of her thighs, where the hand that had been pinning her wrists now moved. He slid his hand under her shorts, and she trembled beneath him as he reached the divinity that awaited, soaking wet, like she was begging to be desecrated.</p>
<p>He traced a finger up her sex, and then he slowly slipped that finger inside of her. The moan that escaped her as he did so was a serenade so lovely he was sure that no sweeter sound existed.</p>
<p>He leisurely slipped his finger in and out, relishing the way she squeezed around him. He finally looked to her as he pulled his finger out and lazily rubbed up and down on her drenched entrance.</p>
<p>“Please,” she breathed, her spring green eyes pleading. She was begging for him. She wanted this. A glutton for punishment, just like him.</p>
<p>His eye did not leave hers as he slid his finger back into the place he was claiming. She gasped as he slid a second finger in, as she stretched to accept it. He wanted to feel her stretch to accept his cock sinking into her, wanted to feel her clench around him. He wanted it so much it hurt. But not yet.</p>
<p>He rubbed his thumb against her clit as he slid his fingers in and out, slowly increasing his pace, watching the way her expression changed as she neared ecstasy.</p>
<p>She threw her head back as she tightened around his fingers. He slid his fingers in and out faster as the wetness increased and she reached climax. He continued pumping his fingers, guiding her through it, until she called out his name.</p>
<p>She didn’t want punishment, she didn’t want to be used, she wanted <i>him</i>. The realization cut through his lust like ice.</p>
<p>He tore his hands from her, rising from the bed and grabbing his gloves. He did not pull them on, not with one hand still wet from her. He was at the door when he finally stopped. He could not look at her. If he dared to look at her, he was certain to falter, he was certain to crawl back to her and beg her to forgive him, beg her to let him inside of her again.</p>
<p>“Sleep in the cathedral if you wish. But this will not happen again,” he told her. Even as he wanted nothing more than for this to happen again, to touch her and feel alive again, to take every piece of her for himself. To hear his name fall from her lips not in despair but in pleasure.</p>
<p>And then he left. Because if he did not, he really would ruin her.</p>
<p>The chorus grew louder and louder as he made his way back to the cathedral.</p>
<p>
  <i>You’re despicable, Dimitri.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You’re repulsive, Dimitri.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>You’re revolting, Dimitri.</i>
</p>
<p>He was all of those things.</p>
<p>
  <i>She hates you now, Dimitri.</i>
</p>
<p>It was the final phrase, echoing over and over and over that had him curling up into the fetal position in his corner, safe from attackers, but not safe from the ghosts that tormented him. He covered his ears in a hopeless effort to block them out, but there was no escape. There had never been any escape, and there never would be. Not until he took Edelgard’s head.</p>
<p>But he was a weak, pathetic rat. And even if Byleth did not return to the cathedral that night, he still sought her out for comfort, retrieving the blanket that she usually slept in, and only then, breathing in the remnants of the sweet petrichor, did the voices finally muffle enough that he was able to drift off into his nightmares. But unlike the usual nightmares of that day, he had nightmares of her falling.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Even after what he had done to her, Dimitri was unable to stay away, drawn to her side the way he always had been, from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. Byleth did not speak of that night, even as he marched at her side. And he did not either. He was already irredeemable, but he knew it would break him in a way nothing else could if she confirmed the voices whispering in his ears, if she told him that she hated him as much as he hated himself for using her.</p>
<p>He was relieved to see that the hand-shaped bruises on her wrists were almost gone when they gathered on the morning of their intended attack, waiting for Gilbert to deliver his report. Dimitri was sure that he was the only one who had seen the bruises, but he’d known exactly where to look, where they were not quite hidden completely by the bracers.</p>
<p>“Our scout has returned,” Gilbert told him and Byleth. “As expected, there are quite a few Imperial soldiers stationed there. Ladislava seems to be leading them.”</p>
<p>Ladislava, a member of Edelgard’s personal guard at one point who had risen to a general by distinguishing herself in the five years of the war. He would relish plunging his lance into her, imagining the way her death might hurt Edelgard.</p>
<p>“I see. So, the enemy has prepared for our arrival… It matters not,” Dimitri assured them. “I will kill them all, whether they are one or one hundred.”</p>
<p>“That’s not necessary,” Byleth said slowly.</p>
<p>He glared at her, but as he looked at her, all he could see was the way that he loved her. All he could hear was her whispering, <i>I’ll kill her</i>. She could pretend that she was merciful, but he knew she was the same as him--sanguinary, bloodthirsty. A monster and a demon.</p>
<p>“What would you do, if you saw the people who stole everything from you?” he challenged. “If you saw them right before your eyes, living carefree lives and feeling no guilt. Would you feel nothing? Do nothing? Five years ago… Did you not deem the woman who killed Jeralt to be unforgivable? I am most certain that you did. You couldn’t let her get away with her crime, so you took up your sword in pursuit.”</p>
<p>She was quiet for a long moment as she stared up at him, before she finally said, “You’re right.”</p>
<p>“Precisely my point,” he breathed. “We’re the same, you and I.” And what flooded through him at her words was relief, elation, knowing that she truly did understand that they were the same, the same, the same.</p>
<p>Felix’s arrival drew his attention. “You’re wasting your time. There’s nothing to be gained from exchanging words with a boar that has lost its mind.”</p>
<p>Gilbert scolded him quickly, “Felix.”</p>
<p>Felix glared, but his focus was on Byleth. “This is war. Every last one of us has lost someone we care for. But we all choose to suppress our anger and go right on living. Do you know why?”</p>
<p>“Because it’s pointless,” Byleth responded softly.</p>
<p>Felix nodded. “That’s right. All the boar is accomplishing is stacking up more corpses.”</p>
<p><i>It looks like she understands my brother, not you,</i> Glenn jeered.</p>
<p>It was Glenn’s words that had Dimitri hissing, “Tell me, Felix… If the dead are beyond reach, is it not also pointless to mourn or even bury those who are lost?”</p>
<p>Felix barked a laugh. “That mind of yours. I’m done here.” His focus shifted back to Byleth. “Remember, Byleth. It’s not compassion for this fool that has brought our army so far. There are those of us who despise the Empire, and those who side with the church. If we keep running down this path, it’s only a matter of time before the ground beneath us collapses.”</p>
<p>Dimitri was holding his breath as he waited for Byleth’s response, for her to refute Felix and reassure him that she would remain with him. He’d warned her that he wouldn’t forgive her if she left him again.</p>
<p>But Rodrigue’s arrival meant that he would never get Byleth’s answer, as Rodrigue chided his son, “That’s enough, Felix.”</p>
<p>“Hmph. You’re a damned fool, old man,” Felix shot back at his father.</p>
<p>Rodrigue turned to him. “The soldiers are ready to march on your command.”</p>
<p>Dimitri nodded. “Then let’s move out at once. Every moment counts.”</p>
<p>“Understood,” Rodrigue said with a bow. “Let’s show those Empire dastards the power of the Knights of Faerghus!”</p>
<hr/>
<p>He had been certain that Dedue had finally come to haunt him, to torment him for letting him die in his place, for wasting his sacrifice. But then he had seen Byleth freeze, like she heard it too. And the massive man who stood taller than even Dimitri shouldered his way to the front, to join the fight.</p>
<p>While the others cleaned up after the battle, Dimitri reunited with his brother. “Dedue! Why… How are you here? You died. Five years ago…”</p>
<p>“I was saved by my brothers. Men of Duscur,” Dedue responded.</p>
<p>Dimitri stared at him.</p>
<p>Dedue continued, “I did not rescue you alone. I was aided, by the rebels that we convinced to flee during that uprising.”</p>
<p>The uprising that Byleth had allowed them to go to quell, to aim to prevent more violence. And on the march there, he’d heard her laugh for the first time. It seemed that he owed her another debt that he could never repay, the life of Dedue.</p>
<p>“Your Highness. I asked that you fulfill your long-held desire, did I not? Allow me to once again act as your sword and shield. Please, let me witness your triumph. I want to behold the moment your wish is finally granted,” Dedue requested.</p>
<p>His wish to uncover the truth of that day, to exonerate the people of Duscur. And now he had Dedue as his shield, and Byleth as his weapon. Even though he did not deserve either of them. But he was not a good enough man to turn them away.</p>
<p>“Dedue… Of course. And in exchange, I ask that you swear something to me, here and now. Do not ever throw your life away again. Understood?” Dimitri didn’t want anyone else throwing their lives away for him.</p>
<p>Dedue’s expression softened. “Your Highness… Understood.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri went to find Byleth after his reunion with Dedue. And when he found her, all he could picture was the wyvern’s gaping jaws surging towards her, the panic as he imagined those jaws clamping down around her, those fangs sinking deep into her flesh. It was that panic that had driven him to grab her and pull her out of the way, and then Byleth had swung her sword down to smite the beast. As he still thought she might eventually smite him.</p>
<p>Because the worst part was that he understood the beast. He understood the beast, because he was the same kind of monster. The most important people to him had died, and those losses had him aiming to sink his fangs into the world.</p>
<p>He thought of Ladislava’s words to Ferdinand as he died. There were people that he couldn’t let die either, but all of them had. But now not just one but two of them had returned to his side.</p>
<p>“Idiots. Embracing death for the sake of that woman,” he fumed. “Truly foolish…”</p>
<p>“What troubles you?” Byleth asked him, her brows creased with concern, her lips tilted down.</p>
<p>Too many things troubled him. When Ferdinand had brought up Edelgard’s obsession with Byleth, he’d lost any remnant of restraint that he still had on the monster he’d become. He had been about to rush forward, to plunge his hand into Ferdinand’s stomach, grasp his intestines, and tear them out. To punish him for daring to suggest that Edelgard even thought of Byleth. Byleth was <i>his</i>, and he would never give her to Edelgard.</p>
<p>But Byleth had rushed in before he could, impaling Ferdinand upon her blade, slaying the former student without any hesitation. They really were the same. And that realization had him wrestling with the way that he loved her, the way that he loved her so much he was sick with it, but he could never have her.</p>
<p>“I… I don’t know,” he finally said.</p>
<p>“Do you regret killing them?” she pressed.</p>
<p>He didn’t, but the reason that he didn’t regret it wasn’t the reason that the dead wanted. The reason he didn’t regret it was because they’d been turning their blades against Byleth. “They were just beasts with human faces. I had no choice but to kill them, and so I did. That… that is all there is to it.”</p>
<p>“It’s about time you two returned,” Rodrigue said as he reached them. “We must discuss our next course of action.”</p>
<p>They followed Rodrigue, but they stopped as they passed by an argument.</p>
<p>“Please! I need to join you, no matter the cost!” a girl begged one of their soliders.</p>
<p>The solder shook his head. “I’m sorry, but my hands are tied.”</p>
<p>“By the goddess!” Rodrigue called out. “What’s with all the commotion?”</p>
<p>The girl looked at them, and she gasped when her gaze fell on him. Dimitri wasn’t surprised. He was monstrous, and maybe the girl was smart enough to recognize it, or perhaps she was imagining what lay beneath the patch over his right eye.</p>
<p>“What is this girl doing here?” Rodrigue asked. “This is an army, not an orphanage.”</p>
<p>The soldier responded, “I believe she’s from a nearby village. She keeps insisting that she needs to join our ranks.”</p>
<p>“And you thought we could use a child on the front lines?” Rodrigue demanded as he shook his head. “Hurry up and take her back to her parents.”</p>
<p>The girl’s chin dropped. “My family is gone. I don’t have anywhere else to go. Please! I can use magic and I can fight! I can cook, do laundry, anything!”</p>
<p>“I’m sure there are plenty of more suitable places to find work. Why are you so fixated on this army, young lady?” Rodrigue asked.</p>
<p>Shadows flashed in her eyes. Shadows Dimitri recognized. “I need… to get revenge. I must strike down the one who murdered my big brother!”</p>
<p>Rodrigue turned to him. “Your Highness… What should we do?”</p>
<p>It was the shadows in her eyes that convinced him. The way that he understood that obligation for vengeance. “Let her do as she pleases.”</p>
<p>“Thank you… very much,” the girl breathed.</p>
<p>And he was certain that Byleth understood too. Because Byleth was the same as him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Blood of the Eagle and Lion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Kingdom's forces head to Gronder Field for a difficult battle against the Empire.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights (but there is a lot more doubling up post-timeskip).</p>
<p>We've finally made it, here is Blood of the Eagle and Lion! Between work still being a little bit insane as we prepare for a new feature launch and the fact that the next chapter is a bit longer, I would not expect a double posting next week. It's extremely likely that The King's Triumphant Return will not be up until next Friday. But hopefully this is enough to tide everyone over until then, and all I will say is I think/hope that the next chapter will be worth the wait!</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Can You Hold Me - NF<br/>Broken Statues - We Came As Romans<br/>Don't Go - Bring Me The Horizon</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>We left a contingent of soldiers to occupy the Great Bridge of Myrddin and then made our way back to the monastery to regroup and plan our next move. It was not long after arriving back at Garreg Mach that we were all summoned to the cardinal’s room for a war council.</p>
<p>“We have received a report from our spy,” Gilbert reported. “It would seem the Empire is gathering troops at Fort Merceus. This is undoubtedly in response to us taking the Great Bridge of Myrddin.” He frowned. “Their numbers are more than double ours. We believe that the emperor herself may be leading them…”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s gaze dropped to the ground and his posture stiffened.</p>
<p>Gilbert continued, “If House Riegan can reconcile with House Gloucester sooner than later… Then Claude can proceed with his plan to rally the Alliance lords, gather troops, and invade Empire territory.”</p>
<p>At the mention of House Gloucester, I couldn’t help but wonder if Lorenz had escaped from Myrddin safely. And if I would regret sparing his life.</p>
<p>“At this rate, three military forces will be clashing at Gronder Field,” Rodrigue said.</p>
<p>“Just like the Battle of the Eagle and Lion,” I said quietly. Except this time, we were hopelessly outnumbered, this time nobody was using practice weapons. And this time, I wouldn’t hesitate to cut down anyone in my way--anyone in Dimitri’s way.</p>
<p>“If you wish to indulge in nostalgia, do it elsewhere,” Dimitri shot at me bitterly.</p>
<p>Rodrigue glanced at me before he turned to Dimitri. “I’m afraid the difference in military strength is far from negligible. While we are elite soldiers, I am still uneasy about this…”</p>
<p>Gilbert nodded. “If possible, I’d like to request reinforcements right away. If we can rely on any of the major Kingdom houses for military support, it would be… House Charon, I’d wager.”</p>
<p>“Why them?” I asked. I thought we had already gotten all of the support we could from the Kingdom with Rodrigue joining us. The other loyal houses were busy just trying to hold their own against Cornelia’s continued invasions.</p>
<p>“House Charon has yet to declare fealty to the Empire,” Gilbert explained.</p>
<p>“It is also… my home,” Catherine said hesitantly. “I will make the request to my father. With things as they are, I don’t think he can refuse. The church has long protected me. I am certain that any request from the church will be answered to the utmost of their ability.”</p>
<p>And I, who had somehow been entrusted with the future of the church, could make that request of Catherine.</p>
<p>Rodrigue nodded. “Very well. We’ll be counting on you.”</p>
<p>“I suppose that is all we can do for now,” Gilbert added in a resigned tone.</p>
<p>“So it would seem,” Rodrigue agreed. But then he looked to me. “Though, if there are any other avenues worth exploring, I would suggest…”</p>
<p>“Allying with the Alliance?” I finished for him. Claude had granted our request and allowed us to take the Great Bridge of Myrddin, and if Lorenz made good on his promise, then it was likely that House Gloucester and House Riegan would be reconciling sooner rather than later. Perhaps it didn’t need to be three forces clashing at Gronder Field, but two uniting against one.</p>
<p>“Ah, good point. We have no reason to engage the Alliance directly,” Gilbert agreed.</p>
<p>“Even if we do receive Count Charon’s aid, we still won’t have the troops we need to face the Empire,” Rodrigue stated grimly.</p>
<p>“But if we join forces with the Alliance, then our numbers will rival the Empire’s,” Gilbert said, his tone hopeful.</p>
<p>“Let’s join forces,” I agreed. I had to hope that both Claude and Lorenz could come through for us. That I hadn’t made a grave mistake in sparing Lorenz’s life.</p>
<p>“Agreed. It’s about the only thing we can do,” Gilbert said with a nod. “For now, let’s send a messenger, and try to figure out what the Alliance hopes to achieve.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue turned back to the Blue Lions. “It’s hard to believe that this decisive battle will take place at Gronder Field… I imagine that place is full of memories for you.”</p>
<p><i>If you wish to indulge in nostalgia, do it elsewhere.</i> But Dimitri did not lash out at Rodrigue as he had me. Because he knew I would take his rage and not leave.</p>
<p>“We won the Battle of the Eagle and Lion back in the day,” Mercedes recalled. “It seems like a lifetime ago…”</p>
<p>It felt like a lifetime ago to me, and I hadn’t even lived the five years that I had missed. But for all of them, who had suffered for five long years…</p>
<p>“I can’t help but remember, even though I wish I didn’t,” Ashe admitted.</p>
<p>Ingrid smiled sadly. “Our feast after the battle… I remember it well. We all had so much fun together.”</p>
<p>It was a night I could never forget. The night Dimitri had told me that he’d seen my humanity, and I realized that maybe I could be more than just a demon. I remembered the way that he had looked at me, and how alive I felt.</p>
<p>Annette shook her head vigorously. “No! Please, stop it. I had finally put all of that out of my mind… This isn’t right. They’re our friends! We used to study together. We shouldn’t be fighting them.”</p>
<p>It was a reminder that while Dimitri may have seen my humanity, the demon still existed within me. I had mercilessly cut down Ferdinand to spare Dimitri from himself, just as I had once cut down Lonato.</p>
<p>“Why not march up to Her Majesty and remind her of that?” Sylvain asked Annette, the sarcasm dripping in his voice. “Oh, that’s right… because you want to live to see tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“No matter who the enemy is, I will fight for His Highness,” Dedue said with a stoic nod.</p>
<p>He and I had that in common. I still could scarcely believe that he was standing here with us.</p>
<p>Felix looked at Dimitri. “Tell me, boar prince. Do we stand a chance?”</p>
<p>Dimitri actually met Felix’s gaze. “Who knows…”</p>
<p>“If we lose, we’ll have died for you. I hope you know that,” Felix responded bitterly.</p>
<p>Dimitri’s gaze shot from Felix to me, and then he quickly dropped his gaze to the ground.</p>
<p>“That’s enough, Felix,” Rodrigue reprimanded his son. “We must focus on the battle ahead.”</p>
<p>“Make your peace before we depart,” Dimitri commanded. “It’s kill or be killed out there. We will cross blades with the Empire, but it’s possible we will also have to strike down the Alliance.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness… Do you feel no hesitation about killing your former friends?” Gilbert asked carefully.</p>
<p>“If they must die, I will kill them,” Dimitri replied coldly. “Nothing could be simpler.”</p>
<p>It was not unlike the way I had lived my life for so long before I had met him.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I was alone in the cardinal’s room, gathering up the last of the maps that had been laid out after our war council, when I felt a tug on the sleeve of my jacket. I turned to see the girl who’d joined us at the Great Bridge of Myrddin.</p>
<p>“Um, thank you,” she said. “For bringing me here. I’ve been given permission to take part in this next mission too. I’ll finally be able to avenge my brother! I swear… I’ll take down that monster!”</p>
<p>“What’s your name?” I asked.</p>
<p>“Fleche.”</p>
<p>I frowned as the name tugged at a distant memory as if I’d heard it before.</p>
<p>“Be careful. Children don’t belong on battlefields,” I told her, ignoring the fact that I’d been raised on battlefields.</p>
<p>“That’s kind of you,” she replied with a small smile. “I promise to be careful. But this is something I have to do.”</p>
<p>I departed with a nod, wishing that I could determine where the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach was coming from.</p>
<hr/>
<p>I resumed sleeping in the cathedral. And just as we had not spoken of it during the march to or from the Great Bridge of Myrddin, neither Dimitri nor I spoke of the night that I had not spent in the cathedral after we returned.</p>
<p>Messengers were sent out to try and reach the Alliance, and Catherine left to visit House Charon, to ask her father for assistance. All that was left to do was to try our best to strategize for the different scenarios that we might encounter at Gronder Field as we waited and try to steel ourselves for the battle ahead.</p>
<p>The morale that had been so high before our march to Myrddin was beginning to falter, knowing how outnumbered we would be in our next fight, knowing that our next fight would undoubtedly pit us against faces we knew.</p>
<p>The Blue Lions were distraught, with everyone wondering what our course would be after the battle, even though the outcome of the battle itself was far from certain.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Felix invited me to spar with him one evening after dinner, noting that I looked like I could use it. And I could. I felt on edge and swinging a blade, even a practice one, gave me somewhere to direct that agitation. I expected Felix to give me a challenge, but I did not expect him to slip past my defenses and bring the wooden blade he was wielding to my throat.</p>
<p>“Finally, I notched a win against you,” Felix said as he lowered his sword.</p>
<p>“I almost had you,” I responded with a frown.</p>
<p>“True. It was a narrow victory,” he agreed with a nod. “When we spar, I feel like I’m revisiting my past.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“It’s like training with my brother,” he admitted. “He always won--always--and died before I could win a single bout. From the first time I held a sword, all I wanted was to surpass him. And that’s what drove me to become so strong. Perhaps it’s absurd to say such a thing, but… I’ve spent all these years training for a duel with a corpse.”</p>
<p>His brother, Glenn, who now haunted the man I loved. “You found an answer to my question,” I told him. The question about why he wanted to become so strong. I’d fought for so long because it was just who I was, but what I was fighting for now was different. And if Felix was beating me, then I wasn’t strong enough.</p>
<p>“Yes, I suppose I did,” he agreed. “I can never spar with my brother again. Not unless he climbs out of his grave. Still, I continue my endless pursuit of strength. Maybe because I have a new opponent to measure myself against.”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“You. Obviously.” He frowned at me. “I beat you this time, but it’s only because you’re losing your grip. You’re getting sloppy. If you let that happen on the battlefield, you’re going to get yourself killed.” He paused, his expression darkening. “I did try to warn you, you know. I told you he was just an animal, that he’d chew you up and spit you out. But you still let him sink his fangs deep, and now he’s slowly devouring you.”</p>
<p>I tightened my grip on my practice sword, holding it so tightly that my knuckles were white, so tight I could feel the wooden hilt beginning to splinter in my hand, tiny shards cutting into my palm. “Do you have any idea what it’s like?” I hissed. “To know that all of this is <i>my</i> fault? Because I went and died when he needed me most?”</p>
<p>“If you’d died, you wouldn’t be here now,” he said carefully.</p>
<p>“Fine. Slept. For five damn years. Call it whatever you need to feel comfortable, but I felt my body shatter.” I almost offered to show him what no one had yet seen. To show him my back that had become a patchwork of scars from where I had somehow been put back together. I’d come back, but not the same.</p>
<p>Felix shifted back and forth on his feet uncomfortably. Nobody liked to talk about my five year absence and miraculous return. Nobody liked to admit that there was no way I should have been able to survive the fall that I did. “Even so, you came back. And you’re going to throw away a miracle on that damn boar?”</p>
<p>I grit my teeth and nodded.</p>
<p>Felix sighed and shook his head at me. “Maybe he was right. You two are the same.”</p>
<p>“We always have been.”</p>
<p>Felix was quiet for a moment. “As powerful as our knights are, we’re outnumbered. By a long shot. You know this won’t be easy. It’s crazy to even attempt this. I guess I’m crazy to go along with it.” His expression softened. “You promise me to be careful, okay? I don’t want you fighting sloppily like you were tonight. And in return, I’ll do my best to keep an eye on the boar.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I said quietly. “And… I promise. I won’t die.” I couldn’t die again, not when I was needed here.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The days wore on as we waited for Catherine to return. And the closer we got to the upcoming battle, the more dread started to build in me. The more I looked at the numbers, the more I started to crack. The more I started to realize that we were likely marching to our deaths.</p>
<p>It was with that heaviness that I wandered towards the greenhouse. On my way there, I overheard some of the monks gossiping.</p>
<p>“I saw something incredible,” one of them said. “I once saw the prince patting the head of an orphan from the monastery. Does that mean even that cruel man has some empathy in his heart? Was it just a random whim? Maybe my eyes just tricked me…”</p>
<p>“It must have been a mistake,” the other responded. “I heard a rumor that one of the soldiers heard a woman screaming in the cathedral one night. They went to investigate, and they found the prince there, who immediately threatened them to leave. A man like that has no compassion. Who knows what the screaming was…”</p>
<p>My hands clenched into fists. The screaming had to have been me, screaming in my sleep, trapped in a nightmare of falling. I couldn’t restrain myself as I stopped by the two and hissed, “Is there something you’d like to say about Dimitri?”</p>
<p>Their faces fell and they both slowly shook their heads. “Please accept our apologies, Byleth. We meant nothing by it,” the first one said.</p>
<p>I didn’t wait for any more of a response before I turned and rushed into the greenhouse. Not because I didn’t want to tear into them for what they had said, but because I didn’t want them to see me cry.</p>
<p>And the moment that I made it into the privacy of the greenhouse, the tears were slipping down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop crying as I thought of the compassionate, kind prince being viewed as a cruel man. The compassionate, kind prince, who was the same as me. The compassionate, kind prince, who I loved so much. And I knew that it was because of him that I was cracking. Because I was terrified of the one death that I knew would break me irreparably.</p>
<p>A large hand settled gently on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Dedue staring down at me.</p>
<p>“You have my sincerest gratitude,” he said quietly. “Circumstances, and my wounds, have prevented me from being by His Highness’ side these five years. I am grateful that you found him for me. I am once again in your debt.”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “I’m the one in your debt. Thank you for saving him.” My voice cracked as I spoke.</p>
<p>Dedue wrapped his arms around me. They weren’t the arms I wanted, but they were arms that understood. Someone who loved Dimitri too, even if it wasn’t in the same way.</p>
<p>“I don’t know how to save him,” I whispered.</p>
<p>“You are doing far more than you think, just by being here,” he assured me.</p>
<p>I buried my face in his chest as the sobs shook me to my core, and I let Dedue hold me until I had no more tears left to cry.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Catherine finally returned with reinforcements from House Charon in tow. And we wasted no time in heading out. A small contingent of the Knights of Seiros were left behind at the monastery to not leave our base entirely unattended, but we knew that we would need every soldier we could spare to stand a chance in the coming battle.</p>
<p>After days of marching, we made it to the Great Bridge of Myrddin and set up for the night. We hadn’t heard back from the Alliance yet, but we would be marching to Gronder Field in the morning regardless, ready to face the Empire, and if we had to, the Alliance as well.</p>
<p>I stayed in the barracks with no cathedral to steal away to, but rather than fear of sleeping, fear was wrapped around my frozen heart, making it difficult to sleep. I managed to get a few hours, but when the light of dawn began creeping in, I finally gave up and went to wander the battlements.</p>
<p>A thick fog had settled over the morning, carrying a chill with it in the early spring air. I was standing by myself with my arms wrapped tightly around me when I heard footsteps. I turned to see Dimitri come to my side.</p>
<p>He stared out in the direction of Gronder Field. “I can finally kill her…” he breathed. “Finally… I can avenge them…”</p>
<p>I looked up at him. I knew our chances of victory were low. We all knew it. I thought of Felix’s words, <i>If we lose, we’ll have died for you.</i> But I would gladly do it if it brought him peace.</p>
<p>“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered, tearing his blue eye from mine.</p>
<p><i>Like what?</i> I almost asked. But I knew what he meant. It was the same thing that Rodrigue had seen. I looked at him like I loved him.</p>
<p>“I can’t help it,” I admitted. I couldn’t look at him any other way.</p>
<p>“Your Highness! Byleth! Please, hurry!” The voice of a soldier with a panicked look on his face pulled my attention. He led us to the gates of the fortress where Rodrigue and Gilbert were also approaching, led by another soldier.</p>
<p>They led us to a body that looked as if it had been nearly split in two and gutted. The kneecaps had been shattered and there were burns marring the arms. It hadn’t just been a kill, it was clear that torture had been involved.</p>
<p>“To kill like this… is inhuman,” Gilbert said with disgust.</p>
<p>“This is one of the knights who was dispatched to the leader of the Alliance. Tell me everything you know,” Rodrigue directed the soldier who had remained with us.</p>
<p>“Sir!” The soldier bowed quickly. “A soldier on patrol came across this knight a short while ago in a rocky area not far from here. Someone from the Alliance must have disposed of the body there…”</p>
<p>“Is this how the Alliance chose to inform us that they have no intention of joining our cause?” Gilbert questioned.</p>
<p>It didn’t seem like something Claude would do, and I had been so sure that he would help us. And I wanted to believe it wasn’t due to interference from House Gloucester, I wanted to believe that Lorenz had kept true to his word. “Maybe it was the Empire,” I suggested. They would have had a compelling reason to prevent our messenger from getting through.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Dimitri agreed. “I would not hesitate to believe them capable of this.”</p>
<p>“Whatever the truth is, the other knights we dispatched are in serious danger. It’s best to assume that joining with the Alliance is out of the question now,” Rodrigue said gravely.</p>
<p>Gilbert shook his head. “Even with Count Charon’s support, this makes our situation grim…”</p>
<p>Dimitri looked at the mutilated body of the messenger before us. “I never expected the Alliance to help us. Anyone who stands in my way will be crushed beneath my feet…”</p>
<hr/>
<p>There was an eerie atmosphere in the air, fed by the fog that stretched across Gronder Field, as our army marched onto the north of the field. To the south-west, I could make out the mass of troops that had to be the Imperial army, and I thought I could see Demonic Beasts within their ranks. To the south-east, the Alliance army was gathered.</p>
<p>The same placements as during the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, but unlike the mock battle, everyone had the intent to kill. We had all brought armies, and no matter how the day ended, the field would be covered in corpses before the end.</p>
<p>Mages in the vanguard of the Empire’s troops held their hands together, conjuring spheres of flame that they launched into the Alliance’s forces and our own, cutting through the fog. I whipped the Sword of the Creator out above me, blocking what I could, but some of our troops had already fallen to the onslaught.</p>
<p>Dimitri stepped out to the front of our army, Areadbhar slung across his shoulders as he stood amongst the flames. “Know that I will tear your heads from your shoulders. The dead must have their tribute,” he announced to our enemies.</p>
<p>I felt sick to my stomach and my palms were sweating. I hadn’t ever felt this way before a battle. I hadn’t ever had so much to lose.</p>
<p>Claude stepped forward, frowning at his own fallen soldiers. “As big class reunions go… this one’s gotta be the worst in history.” He’d grown in the last five years, too. His dark hair was smoothly brushed back and a short beard accentuated his features.</p>
<p>And then Edelgard appeared. The one who had taken so much from me, and even more from Dimitri. The Flame Emperor, who had declared that she would reforge the world, and I realized now that she intended to reforge it in blood.</p>
<p>She wore a bright red dress that fell to her knees, accented with double-breasted golden buttons. She wore tall black boots and billowing from her shoulders was a regal cape. Her hair was pinned up in a crown with horns that curled inwards and upwards towards her eyes. And at her side she held a large, circular axe that resembled the Hero’s Relics.</p>
<p>“Years ago, we fought here as classmates. But not today,” she declared, lowering her eyes to the ground. Her army rallied behind her, infantrymen drawing their swords, archers pulling back their bowstrings.</p>
<p>But it was her fault. She was the one who had started this war, the one who had caused so much suffering. I tightened my grip on the Sword of the Creator, reminding myself of Felix’s words, willing my rage to channel itself into my weapon, to sharpen my blade rather than dull it.</p>
<p>“Kill every last one of them!” Dimitri ordered, swinging Areadbhar out in front of him as he charged ahead, our soldiers following him.</p>
<p>Claude beckoned his own army forward, and to my dismay, I realized that he had no intention of joining forces in that moment.</p>
<p>“And so we fight on,” Edelgard said, standing still as her soldiers charged out around her.</p>
<p>“You have finally appeared, Edelgard… Now, you are mine!” I heard Dimitri’s voice cry out amidst the chaos that began to descend as the fog that had been cleared by the flames settled back in.</p>
<p>I turned to Gilbert and Rodrigue who stood beside me, not having joined the main force yet. “Try not to engage the Alliance,” I ordered.</p>
<p>Gilbert raised his eyebrows. “What would you suggest, Byleth?”</p>
<p>“I’m going to try and speak with Claude. If we are going to stand a chance, we can’t be fighting the Alliance too,” I explained.</p>
<p>“By yourself? What if you can’t reason with him?” Rodrigue questioned.</p>
<p>“Then I’ll do as Dimitri ordered--I'll kill them all,” I said as I looked down at my blade, pulsing with red energy.</p>
<p>“And why didn’t you reveal this plan to His Highness?” Gilbert asked.</p>
<p>I told them the truth. “Because if he knew, he would either try to stop me, or he would be distracted. And none of us can afford that right now.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue relented, “I understand. Stay alive, Byleth, for His Highness.”</p>
<p>I swallowed the lump that was forming itself in my throat as I just nodded. And then before I could question myself, before I could falter and go running to Dimitri’s side instead, I went charging towards the army advancing from the south-east, leaving the combined forces of the Kingdom and the Knights of Seiros to hopefully hold their own against the Empire, and keep the things I treasured most safe.</p>
<p>“Drop your weapons and I won’t hurt you,” I warned as I neared the advancing army.</p>
<p>But the Alliance soldiers did not look ready to talk. “For the Alliance!” one soldier yelled as he rushed at me.</p>
<p>I parried and took him out, but it was not long before I was surrounded. I lost myself in the slaughter, my blade becoming an extension of myself. I lost track of how long I’d been fighting. I lost track of how many soldiers I’d killed.</p>
<p>And I lost track of how many times I died, how many times I had to seize the pulse of time to survive, to feel my flesh knit back together, how many different fatal wounds I’d received--a punctured lung, a severed leg, a slit throat, an axe splitting my torso, a sword through my abdomen, my guts spilling out…</p>
<p>All I knew was that there was a finite end to that power, a finite end that I had hit when I tried to save my father, and I was growing weary of hitting that finite end now.</p>
<p>The wound that almost had me screaming was the arrow that flew into my right eye. As I felt what it was like for my vision to splinter and fracture, what it was like for pain to explode through my eye socket. But unlike Dimitri, I could wind back the clock, back to when I had two eyes, and dodge the arrow that I knew was coming.</p>
<p>The archer who had fired the arrow broke through the line of soldiers and I was shocked to see that it was Leonie on horseback. “You,” she breathed as she saw me.</p>
<p>“If you don’t get out of my way, Leonie, I’ll show you what the Blade Breaker’s daughter can really do,” I growled at her as she knocked another arrow.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Byleth, even if you are Captain Jeralt’s kid... I can't hold back,” she said, her brows furrowing.</p>
<p>I swung my sword up in the air and brought it crashing down, cutting a deep gash into the earth next to her. A warning. To her and the Alliance, who I was tiring of fighting. “Claude, you’ve seen the Sword of the Creator in action. Now get out here, damn you!” I screamed.</p>
<p>Heavy wingbeats sounded and then a white wyvern broke through the fog at the tree line and landed before me, the Alliance army clearing a space. Claude sat atop the beast, his Relic in his hand with an arrow knocked and drawn, aimed at me.</p>
<p>“So, you’re actually alive, Teach! It’s a shame you aren’t on our side,” he remarked as he beheld the corpses piled around me. “Anyway, isn’t the Empire your enemy? Us fighting seems like a waste…”</p>
<p>“It <i>is</i> a waste! Pull back your army, Claude,” I pleaded. “If you get in our way, Dimitri will cut you down.”</p>
<p>He raised an eyebrow. “And what about you, Byleth? Would you cut me down?”</p>
<p>I lifted my chin and gestured around me. “For Dimitri? I would raze your entire damn army to the ground. If you refuse to retreat now, I will not hold back.” My rage, my resolve, sent red energy crackling down the blade of my sword. “But I don’t want to. So please, Claude, I am begging you. Withdraw.”</p>
<p>Claude’s eyes widened and then he eased the tension from his bowstring and returned the arrow to a quiver on his saddle. “I understand. You know, we were able to reconcile with House Gloucester because of you. Because you let Lorenz go. I thought we had a chance to help, but with the fog there was no way to predict the movements of the Kingdom army. We’ll retreat,” he conceded. “And we’ll try to take out any Imperial troops we run into on our way. Good luck, Byleth. I mean that.”</p>
<p>As the Alliance army began to move out and I turned to survey the battle taking place against the Empire, I realized I’d need it.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The Imperial army was everywhere, their numbers were overwhelming. I had to find Dimitri. Dread was wrapping itself around my heart as I cut through soldier after soldier, trying to find the Kingdom’s forces, the Blue Lions, the man I loved.</p>
<p>And then a cry went up from the Imperials near me. “Her Majesty is retreating! Fall back to guard her withdrawal!”</p>
<p>The squadron near me did as ordered and pulled back, finally clearing the field enough that I could see him. My knees almost gave out with the relief that rushed through my veins as I saw him, alive. Rodrigue was at his side.</p>
<p>But Rodrigue was not the only one there. Fleche was moving behind Dimitri, and the relief in my veins turned to ice as I saw her stab her sword into Dimitri’s back. He fell to his knees. And it was just like watching my father die. Watching a blade plunge into his back, watching him fall to his knees.</p>
<p>I reached out for the hands of time, only to find them out of reach, exhausted and useless when I needed them the most, leaving me powerless and helpless as I watched Dimitri turn back to look at her.</p>
<p>She was screaming at him, but I was too far away to make out the words. I wasn’t going to make it in time. I knew it in my bones, that there was nothing I could do to be where I needed to be. Nothing I could do as Fleche prepared to strike again.</p>
<p>Why wasn’t Dimitri moving? Why wasn’t he stopping her? I’d seen him fight through wounds before, and Areadbhar was still gripped in his hand. All he had to do was raise his lance and kill her. And then my heart fractured as I realized that he had no intention of stopping her.</p>
<p>“DIMITRI!” I screamed, hoping that my voice would reach him. I dropped the Sword of the Creator, leaving it behind so it would not slow me down.</p>
<p>
  <i>Do something do something do something. Stop her stop her stop her. Live, please, live.</i>
</p>
<p>But at the same time that I screamed, running as fast as I could, willing my body to move, to get me to where I could protect the one thing that mattered to me more than anything else, Rodrigue screamed too.</p>
<p>And while I couldn’t get there in time, Rodrigue could. He cried out as he leapt in and took the killing blow intended for Dimitri. He looked to see me hurtling towards them. “B-Byleth… Do it now!”</p>
<p>He didn’t need to tell me. I slammed into Fleche, tackling the girl to the ground. I barely felt her sword slice up my arm as it slipped from her grasp.</p>
<p>She screamed as we fell, “B-brother… Help me!”</p>
<p>And that was when I realized where I’d heard her name before.</p>
<p>
  <i>Fleche… Please, forgive me…</i>
</p>
<p>The dying words of the Imperial general that I had killed before Dimitri could torture him. But it was a life that <i>I</i> had taken. And Dimitri had almost borne the punishment for it.</p>
<p>The girl flailed beneath me, trying to get free, but I straddled her, keeping her arms pinned to her sides with my knees. I held her head back with one hand, pulling her hair, as I drew the dagger my father had given me from my hip.</p>
<p>I leaned close to her and whispered, “<i>I</i> killed your brother.” And that vicious, wicked part of me delighted at the fear and the hatred that flashed in her expression.</p>
<p>“Murderer!” she screamed.</p>
<p>I drove the blade into her beating heart. Her screaming turned to coughing as she spit blood in my face, and then the light in her eyes died with her.</p>
<p>I rose from the corpse beneath me to see Rodrigue crouched with a bloody hand on Dimitri’s cheek, who was still on his knees.</p>
<p>“This punishment… it was mine to bear,” Dimitri said in anguish.</p>
<p>And my heart broke further as he confirmed what I had feared--he really had intended to die.</p>
<p>Rodrigue’s tone was gentle, even as he labored to get the words out. “There are no sins or punishments… on the battlefield…”</p>
<p>“NO!” Dimitri cried out. “Don’t die… Please, don’t die! Father, Stepmother, Glenn… They all died and left me behind. Rodrigue… Are you to join the ghosts who shadow my every move? This is my fault… I… I’m the one who killed you, as surely as though I had wielded the blade!”</p>
<p>My hands clenched into fists as I realized… This was my fault. And even with Rodrigue dying, I couldn’t regret it. I could only thank him for saving Dimitri. Too many people were saving him when I could not. Dedue had done so, and now Rodrigue had. Even though all I wanted was to save him.</p>
<p>Rodrigue managed a small, pained laugh. “Your Highness. You have one thing… terribly wrong. None of them… none of us… died for you. I’m dying for what I believe in… just as they did. Your life is your own. It belongs to no other, living or dead. Live for what you believe in. Dimitri… My boy… You really do look just like His Majesty…” Rodrigue’s hand fell to his side.</p>
<p>I closed my eyes as I thought of my father’s hand falling to his side before he could reach me.</p>
<p>“Lambert… My promise… I…” Rodrigue’s strained last words rang out as he collapsed on the ground, and he did not move again.</p>
<p>But the Imperial army was closing in, and Dimitri hadn’t moved.</p>
<p>Hoofbeats drew my attention as Sylvain galloped up, followed closely by Gilbert.</p>
<p>“We must retreat--” Gilbert started, and then his eyes fell on Rodrigue’s body.</p>
<p>“Sylvain,” I began. “Take Rodrigue’s body. Gilbert, take Dimitri. Fall back.”</p>
<p>“What about you, Byleth?” Gilbert asked.</p>
<p>“I have to retrieve my sword, and then I’ll follow behind you, guarding our retreat,” I assured him.</p>
<p>I didn’t wait for more confirmation as Sylvain dismounted to retrieve Rodrigue’s body and Gilbert moved forward and started to get Dimitri to his feet. Dimitri was staring numbly ahead, like he was in shock.</p>
<p>I backtracked to where I had dropped my blade, killing several soldiers with my dagger as they approached. And once I had the Sword of the Creator in my hand again, I willed myself to be a weapon, swinging it out in a wide arc behind me as I ran after Sylvain, Gilbert, and Dimitri.</p>
<hr/>
<p>We made it back to the Great Bridge of Myrddin where we regrouped briefly before beginning the trek back to the monastery. Edelgard herself had been wounded and forced to retreat, but it didn’t feel like a victory, not with our army being forced to retreat. And not with the loss of Rodrigue.</p>
<p>Dimitri didn’t speak at all on the march back. Not to me, not to Dedue, not to anyone.</p>
<p>Felix was distraught, despite having always expressed his hatred for his father. Ingrid was mourning with Sylvain doing his best to comfort her.</p>
<p>When we finally made it back to the monastery, Rodrigue was laid to rest in the cemetery, near my mother and father’s grave. Annette sang an old funeral song from Faerghus, one reserved for honored dead. Ingrid lamented that we were not able to lay him to rest in the Kingdom where he belonged but was glad that we were at least able to give him some kind of service.</p>
<p>I lingered after the service, despite the fact that the night was getting late. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “And thank you. Thank you for saving him. I’ll do my best to keep my promise.”</p>
<p>I finally left Rodrigue’s grave and made my way to the cathedral, but as the night dragged on, Dimitri still did not show up. Panic began to wind itself around my heart. I finally went to check his room, hoping that the unease growing in the pit of my stomach was wrong, that he just wanted to be alone to process this loss. When he didn’t answer the door, I forced my way in to find the room empty.</p>
<p>The unease shifted to dread that sent me sprinting into the late-night rain. I wanted desperately to be wrong, but I knew I was right. Because he was right… We were the same, he and I. And I understood him well enough to know that my fears were not misplaced.</p>
<p>I sprinted all the way to the stables, where I found him. Areadbhar was leaning against the wall, along with a small pack of supplies. He was moving towards the pack when I stepped out from around the corner and stopped in front of him, cutting off his path.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” he asked coldly as his gaze settled on me.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?” I asked, even though I was certain that I knew the answer.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t concern you.”</p>
<p>Maybe he was right, it didn’t concern me. Even now, I had no claim to him, no right to stop him. But I couldn’t stop myself. I had made a promise to Rodrigue, but more than that, I was selfish. I loved him, and I couldn’t let him go. “It does,” I finally countered.</p>
<p>His hands clenched into fists. “Get out of my way. Now.”</p>
<p>There were only a few ways this could go. I could succeed in stopping him here, in making him stay. He could refuse to stop, and I would follow him to die alongside him. Or he could strike me down like he had promised to do if I stood in his way, as I was doing now. I pushed my shoulders back and lifted my chin, staring at him defiantly. “You’re going to Enbarr, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>He looked away from me.</p>
<p>I had thought the divide between us was new, but I was wrong. It had grown, but it had always been there, as long as I’d known him. His quest of vengeance for the dead. And now I was here, to beg him to choose the living instead. To choose himself instead. To choose <i>me</i> instead. “Do you really think that will appease the dead?”</p>
<p>“Silence,” he hissed at me as he crossed his arms and fixed me with a glare. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Death is the end. No matter how much lingering regret a person has, after death, they are powerless. They cannot even wish for revenge, much less seek it out. Hatred. Regret. Those burdens fall on the shoulders of those left behind.” He dropped his hands to his sides and his next words were full of anguish. “And so I must continue down this path! I already told you as much! It is far too late to stop.”</p>
<p>I shook my head desperately. “You’re wrong.” I’d been trapped in a darkness with no escape, and if not for Sothis, it could have been too late for me. But he was still here, still the Dimitri that I knew and loved, despite everything, and I was waiting, ready to offer my hand and pull him from the dark, if he could only find the means to reach out and grasp it.</p>
<p>“Do not waste your breath with some nonsense about how I should move on with my life for their sake. That is merely the logic of the living. It’s meaningless. Those who died with lingering regret… They will not loose their hold on me so easily.” He lifted his head, blinking in the rain as it poured down over his face. “But you seem to have all the answers… So tell me, Byleth. Please, tell me… How do I silence their desperate pleas? How do I… How do I save them? Ever since that day nine years ago… I have lived only to avenge the fallen.” He dropped his gaze to the ground. “Even my time at the Officers Academy was all so that I could secure my revenge and clear away the regret of the dead. It was the only thing that kept me alive… My only reason to keep moving forward…”</p>
<p>“You must forgive yourself. You’ve suffered enough,” I said softly. He’d suffered far too much, suffering that broke my heart.</p>
<p>He glanced at me with a huff and then looked away. He was quiet for a few moments before he finally turned back towards me. “But then who--or what--should I live for?”</p>
<p>
  <i>Look deep in your heart and I’m certain you’ll find the answer there… indelible and inescapable.</i>
</p>
<p>I thought of the words he had once given me when I asked myself the same question after my father died. When I had felt so empty and alone. And even though I had focused on vengeance at the time, when I looked in my heart, indelible and inescapable, there was only him. It wasn’t revenge that I was living for now. It wasn’t revenge that had finally driven me to open my eyes and return to life. It was him. It had always been him.</p>
<p>And I knew, that if he looked deep in his own heart, there was more than vengeance in there. “Live for what you believe in,” I urged him.</p>
<p>“What I believe in… Rodrigue said the same thing. But is it possible…” He finally met my gaze. “I am a murderous monster. My hands are stained red. Could one such as I truly hope for such a life? As the sole survivor of that day, do I… Do I have the right to live for myself?”</p>
<p>I studied him, watching tracks of rain glisten on his cheeks, noting the pale color in the lips that had breathed life into my own. I stared into the icy blue depths of his remaining eye.</p>
<p><i>We’re the same, you and I.</i> We were. For if he was a murderous monster, so was I. But he was so much more than that. He was the compassionate soul that my own soul couldn’t help but yearn for, someone so pure that he had wished for a world in which no one would ever be unjustly taken from us.</p>
<p>I reached for him, with hands that were stained red just as his were. A demon reaching for a monster. I took his face in my hands, hands that had taken countless lives. “Yes, you do.”</p>
<p>He slowly lifted his own hand and placed it over mine. “Your hands are so warm… Have they always been?”</p>
<p>He didn’t stop me as I stood on the tips of my toes and leaned in. He didn’t stop me as I dropped the hand he wasn’t clinging to and wrapped it tightly around his shoulders.</p>
<p>He finally dropped his hand from mine, and I embraced him fully, just as his arms wrapped tightly around me. And as I held him, he finally started to cry. And I cried with him.</p>
<p>He sank to his knees, bringing me with him, and pressed his forehead to my shoulder. I laid a hand on his head as he shook with the force of his tears, even as my own continued to silently stream down.</p>
<p>The rain had soaked through me thoroughly, leaving me chilled, by the time his sobs had finally slowed and his arms around me loosened. But I gripped his hand tightly as he started to pull away.</p>
<p>He let me lead him to his room, stopping only to grab Areadbhar. And even then I did not drop his hand.</p>
<p>I winced when we got to the door that I had left ajar, the wood splintered from where I’d forced it open. “Sorry,” I said quietly. “I was a little panicked.”</p>
<p>He glanced between the door and me as I shut it as best as it could still close behind us. I took Areadbhar from him and leaned it against the wall. He was quiet as I stripped his heavy, sodden cloak off and hung it by the door. I sat him on the bed and pulled over the chair from his desk to sit across from him before I slowly began to work on the buckles holding on his various pieces of armor.</p>
<p>“What would you have done if I hadn’t stopped?” he finally asked.</p>
<p>I looked up from the buckle of his gauntlet to meet his eye. “I would have gone with you, if you’d let me.”</p>
<p>Silence settled back in as I removed the rest of his armor, leaving him in the black pants and long-sleeve black shirt he wore beneath it. I stood, shrugging off my own soaked jacket as I did so and hung it up next to his cloak.</p>
<p>“Do you have a towel?” I asked.</p>
<p>He pointed to the small wardrobe next to the desk. I opened it and found a meager supply of clothing and a short stack of neatly folded towels. I grabbed one and unfolded it, walking over to him.</p>
<p>I set it on the chair and reached cautiously for his eyepatch. “I need to--”</p>
<p>“Leave it,” he said, catching my hands in his own.</p>
<p>I reluctantly nodded and then reached for the towel again. He didn’t stop me as I gently dried his hair, making sure to be careful of the string of the eyepatch that he did not want removed.</p>
<p>I froze when I felt him flinch as the edge of the towel grazed over his back. “You didn’t let Mercedes heal you,” I stated. It wasn’t really a question, and I shouldn’t have been surprised.</p>
<p>“No,” he answered quietly. He was silent for a moment and then spoke again as I draped the towel over the back of the chair. “Are you going to drag me to the infirmary?”</p>
<p>I felt the ghost of a smile tug at my lips, despite everything. Despite how angry I was that he’d let his wound remain untreated. How afraid I’d been--and still was--that he would slip out of my reach.</p>
<p>But I couldn’t help the faint smile as he asked me the same thing I’d asked him on the night he had bandaged my arm and hand for me. I couldn’t stop myself as I traced the thin, raised scar on my forearm.</p>
<p>“No,” I finally affirmed. “But you need to let me see it.”</p>
<p>He reached for the hem of his shirt, and then hesitated as his fingers wrapped around it. For a moment, I thought that he was going to refuse, but then he lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it to the edge of the bed. He glanced at me and then quickly looked away.</p>
<p>He was magnificent, a wonder of chiseled muscle. But what made my breath catch in my throat was the scars--a map of suffering spread across his skin, a map of every place I should have been over the last five years.</p>
<p>I raised my hand and slowly brushed my fingers over a puckered line across his bicep and he met my gaze again. I wasn’t sure he was breathing as I moved to trace a thick mark across the right side of his chest.</p>
<p>As I beheld the evidence of five years of torment, I felt it. A quiet, gentle whisper, so unlike the writhing ancient thing that left nothing but destruction in its wake. I moved my hands to the angry wound on his back, red and swollen like the beginnings of infection could be setting in. And then, like moonlight illuminating a fresh flurry of snow, slow and peaceful, that whisper rose and blew out of me in a breath, a soft glow spreading from my fingertips to the injury where his flesh slowly knit together. The wound wasn’t gone, but the swelling had subsided, the redness had faded, and the depth of the remaining hurt seemed to have grown shallow.</p>
<p>I trembled as the light flickered out and I reluctantly drew away from him.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you could do that,” he whispered, and I met his gaze to find him staring at me the way he’d stared when I emerged from the hole I’d cut in the sky.</p>
<p>“I’ve never done that before,” I admitted. And some rawness inside of me soothed as I realized that I had the capacity for more than just cruelty, the ability to do more than just hurt.</p>
<p>We were both quiet for a long moment as we just stared at each other, as I stared at the thing I treasured most in the world. “You should rest,” I finally said, rising to my feet. </p>
<p>He nodded, moving to shift under the sheets of his bed, but he caught my hand as I turned to leave. “Will you stay?” he asked quietly.</p>
<p>I squeezed his hand gently as I sat back down, and I gave him the only answer that I could. “Always.”</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>Dimitri couldn’t help but go to her when he saw Byleth standing atop the battlements, alone in the fog. It was possible that it was the last moment alone he would have with her, for he would either die himself, or he would take Edelgard’s head and then be free from his obligation, finally able to reunite with everyone he’d killed in the eternal flames.</p>
<p>She looked at him as he came to her side, but his focus was fixed beyond the walls as he murmured, “I can finally kill her… Finally… I can avenge them…”</p>
<p>He turned to look at her, and he wished that he hadn’t. She’d once been impossible to read, always wearing a perfect mask that betrayed no emotion. He’d wished for nothing more than for that mask to fall away, to finally breach her walls. But now he wished that mask was back, so he didn’t have to see the look on her face now.</p>
<p>The look on her face that threatened to make him falter. The look on her face that had a weak part of him, a part that was both the man and the monster, yearning for her, yearning to abandon his duty and live for her instead. Things had been much simpler before she returned.</p>
<p>“Don’t look at me like that,” he begged her as he averted his eye from her. She was looking at him like he wasn’t broken, defiled. She was looking at him the way he’d once longed to be looked at by her. But that was before he’d become far too stained to ever be saved.</p>
<p>“I can’t help it,” she responded quietly, as if she understood the way she looked at him. But if she understood, then she had to understand why she couldn’t look at him that way.</p>
<p>A soldier’s voice broke through the tension, “Your Highness! Byleth! Please hurry!”</p>
<p>Dimitri was grateful for his arrival, because he had selfishly been wondering if he should kiss Byleth one last time. One last time, to carry with him into death. But he was terrified that if he let his lips touch hers again, he would lose the nerve to offer his atonement after taking Edelgard’s life.</p>
<p>They were led to a mutilated body at the entrance to the fort, where Rodrigue and Gilbert were also arriving with their own escort.</p>
<p>Gilbert stared at the body with horror. “To kill like this… is inhuman.”</p>
<p>It was just another reminder that Dimitri was a monster, for he had made far more gruesome kills. The sight before him barely fazed him.</p>
<p>Rodrigue turned to the soldier who remained and ordered, “This is one of the knights who was dispatched to the leader of the Alliance. Tell me everything you know.”</p>
<p>The soldier complied with a quick bow. “Sir! A soldier on patrol came across the knight a short while ago in a rocky area not far from here. Someone from the Alliance must have disposed of the body there…”</p>
<p>“Is this how the Alliance chose to inform us that they have no intention of joining our cause?” Gilbert asked.</p>
<p>But Dimitri had known better than to hope. He had known for a long time that he did not have blessings in his life, and any luck that he may have had was long since used up by the arrival of Byleth.</p>
<p>Byleth, who was looking at the body with a slight frown as she said, “Maybe it was the Empire.”</p>
<p>It made perfect sense. He’d seen so much suffering at the hands of the Empire. “Yes. I would not hesitate to believe them capable of this.”</p>
<p>“Even with Count Charon’s support, this makes our situation grim…” Gilbert said gravely with a shake of his head.</p>
<p>But it didn’t matter, it didn’t really change anything. He would either take Edelgard’s head, or he would die trying. “I never expected the Alliance to help us. Anyone who stands in my way will be crushed beneath my feet…”</p>
<hr/>
<p>The balls of fire that shot through the air burned through the fog, clearing Dimitri’s view to his adversaries as he stepped forward amidst the flames, a reminder of what awaited him. “Know that I will tear your heads from your shoulders,” he warned them. “The dead must have their tribute.”</p>
<p>“As big class reunions go… this one’s gotta be the worst in history,” Claude lamented from the head of the Alliance forces. But he did not care about the leader of the Alliance. He was a distraction, a distraction that would be cut down if he got in Dimitri’s way.</p>
<p>
  <i>takeherheadtakeherheadtakeherhead…</i>
</p>
<p>Because nothing would get in his way, not with his treacherous stepsister finally, <i>finally</i>, before him. “Years ago, we fought here as classmates. But not today,” she said, the deceit dripping from every word, the way the blood would soon be dripping from her sick neck.</p>
<p>They hadn’t been classmates even then, she’s always been his enemy. And if he hadn’t been so blind, he could have slaughtered her years ago. Just as he would now slaughter her, her and every single Imperial troop following her.</p>
<p>“Kill every last one of them!” he commanded as he rushed forward, swinging Areadbhar in front of him.</p>
<p>His stepsister motioned her troops forward as she said, “And so we fight on.” Sending her troops to the slaughter while she waited, merely prolonging the moment of her death.</p>
<p>“You have finally appeared, Edelgard… Now, you are mine!” Dimitri called out to her, elation in every word. Finally, finally, finally.</p>
<p>
  <i>TAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEAD…</i>
</p>
<p>There was nothing but the swing of his lance. Nothing but the corpses piling up before him, behind him, cutting a path to the one who had taken everything from him, from the dead. He didn’t feel any of his own wounds, his exhaustion.</p>
<p>Not even the sounds of the battle raging around him were enough to drown out the cries of the dead. The cries of his father, calling out the same words as his severed head had on that day, <i>Avenge us! Those who killed us… Tear them apart! Destroy them all!</i></p>
<p>And then he finally reached her. Standing behind a battalion, simply waiting and allowing her troops to die in her place.</p>
<p>“Out of my way!” Dimitri screamed as he lunged forward, cutting down the soldiers between him and the vengeance that the dead demanded, leaving nothing between him and his stepsister. Nothing left in his way.</p>
<p>“Stab your chest, break your neck, smash your head… I will allow you to choose your own death,” he offered to Edelgard. It was a mercy that he was extending her only because she was family.</p>
<p>“I’m not interested in methods of dying. All that matters is when death takes place, not how. And I have no intention of dying today,” Edelgard responded coolly.</p>
<p>He hated that arrogant tone of hers. He hated her. He loathed her for all that she had done to him, for the suffering he couldn’t escape. “I’m sure all of the people you’ve slaughtered so far thought the same!” he snarled. And then he lunged.</p>
<p>Edelgard leapt back, just in time to dodge the swing of Areadbhar. The ground cratered where his lance struck. He wished that it was her skull cratering and splitting open, spilling her twisted thoughts out.</p>
<p>She countered, swinging her axe forward, but he caught it with his lance, gritting his teeth as they stood in a deadlock.</p>
<p>Her eyes flicked away from him, in the same direction he kept getting scolded for his own attention wandering to. Where the glowing blade of the Sword of the Creator could occasionally be seen whipping up into the air, where he hoped that Byleth was safe, where the swing of that sword reassured him that she was still alive.</p>
<p>“Why… Why did she choose you?” Edelgard demanded.</p>
<p>He wanted to say it was because they were the same, but no matter how much he told himself that he and Byleth were the same, it was because he had cursed her. Because he had made a foolish wish, and it had cursed her. But even as he thought that, he couldn’t help but recall the conversation he’d overheard between her and Rodrigue.</p>
<p>
  <i>I’d choose him. Always.</i>
</p>
<p>“If she had chosen me--"</p>
<p>Edelgard’s words cut off as Dimitri shoved forward in his fury, sending her stumbling back several steps. Byleth had not chosen Edelgard, and she would never choose Edelgard. And with her words, Edelgard had lost the option to choose her own death. Dimitri would slice her open and string her up with her own guts.</p>
<p>He lunged again, managing a slash across her stomach. Edelgard cried out as the lance sliced through, but it was not deep enough, not nearly deep enough to split her open.</p>
<p>Dimitri bellowed and lunged again, but she blocked the swing with her axe, deflecting Areadbhar’s blade to sink into the earth.</p>
<p>“I lost?!” she bit out as she backed away. “Just as expected, you aren’t making my path an easy one.”</p>
<p>Edelgard took several more steps back. Dimitri moved to pursue, but her soldiers were closing in around him. And even as he cut them down, she slipped farther away.</p>
<p>“I must retreat for now. We’ll meet again on the battlefield,” she declared, before turning and fleeing, one hand pressed to the wound on her stomach.</p>
<p>“So, you think you can escape, Edelgard…” Dimitri seethed, preparing to give chase. He didn’t care how many he had to cut down. He would keep going until he collapsed, and then he would crawl. He wouldn’t stop until he had her head.</p>
<p>
  <i>TAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEAD…</i>
</p>
<p>“Your Highness! You’re alive!” Rodrigue reached his side as Edelgard’s soldiers fell back to cover her escape. “We have to retreat to the Great Bridge of Myrddin…”</p>
<p>No. There would be no retreat, not when Edelgard was within his reach after five long years. “That woman… we failed to capture her.” Dimitri looked to Rodrigue, to the army battling around him. “I will keep pursuing. The rest of you, keep fighting!”</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry… but we cannot do that,” Rodrigue said, trying to pull him back. “I understand how you feel, but the Imperial army is closing in!”</p>
<p>“I’ll kill all of them! No matter how many hundreds or thousands of them there are!” Dimitri roared.</p>
<p>“You… What are you doing here?! It’s too dangerous! Fall back, now!” Rodrigue cautioned as his attention shifted behind Dimitri. And then he screamed, “Your Highness!”</p>
<p>Pain exploded through Dimitri’s back as a blade plunged into him. He fell to his knees and turned his head back to see the girl he’d allowed to join them. The girl who sought vengeance, just as he did. “You… are…”</p>
<p>“Have I caught you off guard, Your Highness?” the girl hissed at him, tightening her grip on the sword in her hand, its blade glimmering with blood. His blood. “Aww, does it hurt? I bet it hurts reaaaal bad, doesn’t it? But it’s nothing compared to what my brother felt! You will never be forgiven, you know! I will never forgive you!”</p>
<p>He’d known for a long time that he was irredeemable, far past the point where he could be saved, unforgivable. And he understood with clarity that he was a monster, the monster that she sought to destroy. “You… You must be…”</p>
<p>“You filthy monster! It’s time to DIIIIE!” the girl shrieked.</p>
<p>The pain in his back subsided as relief rushed through him. Relief that his suffering could finally end. He sat still, ready to take the punishment that he’d deserved for so many years, as he’d stolen and killed and killed and killed and killed. The thought of Byleth was the only thing that gave him a scintilla of regret, knowing that he could never be with her.</p>
<p>He barely heard Rodrigue’s voice call his name. </p>
<p>But he did hear Byleth scream his name. Scream his name like she’d screamed when her father had died. Scream his name like his death would move her to tears. But this was better for her too. He could finally free her from the curse he put on her when he’d made that wish in the Goddess Tower.</p>
<p>The thing nobody seemed to realize about drowning was that it was impossible to scream, impossible to cry out for help when he could barely surface for air. Not with the dead clinging to him and dragging him under, pulling him down to the depths where he couldn’t breathe on his own. He’d been barely treading water for so long and now he was ready to let himself drown.</p>
<p>But the pain did not come, the punishment did not come. Rodrigue cried out as he lunged, placing himself between Dimitri and the blade meant to finally end his miserable existence.</p>
<p>“B-Byleth… Do it now!” Rodrgiue shouted, and then the girl screamed as Byleth crashed into her.</p>
<p>“Rodrigue!” Dimitri cried out as Rodrigue fell to his knees in front of him.</p>
<p>“Your Highness… Are you safe?” Rodrigue asked, reaching out to place a hand on Dimitri’s cheek, his white glove stained with blood. “Please tell me… it wasn’t in vain…”</p>
<p>But it was in vain, because Dimitri could not be saved, and he had not wanted to be saved from this. “This punishment… it was mine to bear.”</p>
<p>Rodrigue strained to get the words out, but he wore a weak smile as he spoke, “There are no sins or punishments… on the battlefield…”</p>
<p>“NO! Don’t die! Please, don’t die!” Dimitri begged. “Father, Stepmother, Glenn… They all died and left me behind. Rodrigue… Are you to join the ghosts who shadow my every move? This is my fault… I… I’m the one who killed you, as surely as though I had wielded the blade!”</p>
<p>Just as his love dragged everyone to their graves, just as everyone he cared for died for him, to prolong his wretched life, Rodrigue was now falling victim to the curse as well.</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” Rodrigue began with a labored chuckle. “You have one thing… terribly wrong. None of them… none of us… died for you. I’m dying for what I believe in… just as they did. Your life is your own. It belongs to no other, living or dead. Live for what you believe in. Dimitri… My boy… You really do look just like His Majesty…”</p>
<p>Rodrigue’s hand dropped as his body began to fall. “Lambert… My promise… I…” He hit the ground, and then another person died for Dimitri.</p>
<p><i>We all died for you, my father is dead because of you,</i> Glenn hissed.</p>
<p>His father glared down at him. <i>You’ve failed once again, son. Avenge us, avenge us, avenge us.</i></p>
<p>Dimitri barely heard Gilbert and Sylvain speaking with Byleth. He numbly let Gilbert pull him to his feet and start to drag him away.</p>
<p>There was nothing but the endless refrain of the dead, demanding to <i>take her head take her head take her head.</i></p>
<p>He would. It would be the last thing he did. He would go to see Rodrigue laid to rest, and then he would go to take Edelgard’s head or die trying.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dimitri wasted no time after Rodrigue’s service. He set about preparing a small pack of supplies, enough to get him at least close to his destination. He knew very well how to survive in the wilderness with nothing but his lance, but taking supplies would ensure that he did not have to waste time hunting for food, he could focus solely on hunting his main prey: Edelgard.</p>
<p>The funeral had gone well into the evening, and by the time Dimitri made his way to the stables to begin preparing a horse for his departure rain was pouring down. But he would not complain, the frigid rain just made it less likely that he would run into anyone that would try to stop him--not because anyone <i>could</i> stop him, but he did not want to waste any more time than he already had.</p>
<p>He was heading to retrieve his pack and his lance from the wall he’d left them against, to take them and secure them to the saddle he was preparing, when Byleth appeared, stepping between him and his provisions.</p>
<p>Her bangs were plastered against her forehead and several stray tresses had stuck themselves to her cheeks, like she’d been sprinting through the rain.</p>
<p>“What do you want?” he demanded, even as he silently cursed himself. He should have known that she would notice his absence when he did not go to the cathedral. It would have been smarter to go and wait for her to fall asleep before leaving. But he also knew why he hadn’t done exactly that… because she made him weak.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?” she asked, countering his question with another question.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t concern you.” It was long past time for her to let him go.</p>
<p>She was quiet for a moment before responding simply, “It does.”</p>
<p>“Get out of my way. Now.” The words did not have the venom he intended. He was so tired, deep in his bones. Tired of fighting, tired of losing those he loved, tired of the way she looked at him.</p>
<p>She did not move though. She squared her shoulders and looked directly at him. “You’re going to Enbarr, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>He was. He grit his teeth and dropped his gaze from her.</p>
<p><i>She’s standing in your way. Strike her down like you told her you would,</i> Glenn urged him. <i>You must avenge my father’s death now too.</i></p>
<p>But he hadn’t meant the words when he’d said them to her. She was the one person that he could never strike down, the one person capable of blocking his way now. And it was not because he feared Jeralt’s ghost coming to haunt him if he betrayed the promise he’d already failed to keep once. It was because he loved her. He’d loved her when he made the promise to Jeralt, and he had never stopped. But he had been tainted before, and he was tarnished and broken now.</p>
<p>“Do you really think that will appease the dead?”</p>
<p>The words drew his eye back to her as he scowled at her. “Silence,” he growled. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Death is the end. No matter how much lingering regret a person has, after death, they are powerless. They cannot even wish for revenge, much less seek it out. Hatred. Regret. Those burdens fall on the shoulders of those left behind. And so I must continue down this path! I already told you as much! It is far too late to stop.”</p>
<p>He’d been shouldering those burdens for the last nine years, and they’d only grown heavier with each year that passed, each ghost that came to join the others who haunted his steps. And the cost of shouldering those burdens had been too high, leaving his soul shattered in pieces. Irredeemable. Irreparable.</p>
<p>“You’re wrong,” she said as she fiercely shook her head at him.</p>
<p>Why couldn’t she understand, the way she had always understood? “Do not waste your breath with some nonsense about how I should move on with my life for their sake. That is merely the logic of the living. It’s meaningless. Those who died with lingering regret… They will not loose their hold on me so easily.”</p>
<p>The dead continued to chant in his ears, even now. He cast his gaze to the sky, where the stars were hidden, shrouded by the dark clouds that the icy rain continued to fall from. The stars that he had once gazed at with her. “But you seem to have all the answers… So tell me, Byleth. Please, tell me… How do I silence their desperate pleas? How do I… How do I save them? Ever since that day nine years ago… I have lived only to avenge the fallen.” He had even told her as much five years ago. And she had understood then, he’d known it the moment she had whispered <i>I’ll kill her.</i> Known that they were the same.</p>
<p>He dropped his gaze from the sky to stare at the ground, for even if they were the same, she remained up among the stars while he crawled around on that ground, like the rat that he was. “Even my time at the Officers Academy was all so that I could secure my revenge and clear away the regret of the dead. It was the only thing that kept me alive… My only reason to keep moving forward…”</p>
<p>Her voice was quiet when she answered, the quiet that he’d learned meant she was troubled. “You must forgive yourself. You’ve suffered enough.”</p>
<p>He had done so many unforgivable things, abhorrent, atrocious things, with the first among them being surviving that day. But he had also suffered. He had suffered endlessly since that day, just as the dead had. He desperately wished to believe her words, that his suffering was enough, that his suffering meant something.</p>
<p>But if he did not have his vengeance, the only thing that had given him the strength to pick himself up off the ground after that day, what did he have? “But then who--or what--should I live for?”</p>
<p>“Live for what you believe in.”</p>
<p>“What I believe in… Rodrigue said the same thing. But is it possible…”	</p>
<p><i>It’s time to choose, boy. Her or us,</i> his father ordered.</p>
<p>There wasn’t a choice, not really. Only an answer that he desperately wanted her to give him. It had always been her, the only one who could give him the answer because they were the same. She understood the darkness in him because she had her own, but she radiated light instead of sinking into it. She had the same darkness, but she pierced through it with her blade.</p>
<p>She refused to smite him, even as he proved deserving of it. So he would finally beg her to save him instead.</p>
<p>He finally met that bright, seafoam gaze. “I am a murderous monster. My hands are stained red. Could one such as I truly hope for such a life? As the sole survivor of that day, do I… Do I have the right to live for myself?”</p>
<p>The way the moonlight filtering through the clouds reflected off of her wet skin made her glisten with a celestial light. Even now, he wanted to turn away from her blinding radiance, unfit to stand before her.</p>
<p>She stretched out her hands, placing them on his cheeks. “Yes, you do,” she murmured. Heat flooded through him where her skin touched, a touch like resurrection.</p>
<p>He hesitantly placed a hand over her own, embracing the life that her hands held. “Your hands are so warm… Have they always been?” But the truth was that her touch had always been saving him. Even the very first time he’d felt her fingertips brush his cheek, after pulling him out of the way of an arrow.</p>
<p>She tipped onto the edge of her toes as she dropped one hand from his cheek to wrap her arm around his shoulders.	</p>
<p>
  <i>Live for what you believe in.</i>
</p>
<p>He dropped his hand to wrap his arms tightly around her, just as her own arms encircled him. And clutching her warmth to him, clutching her to him, the tears that he’d long since thought had dried up finally began to spill. As he understood that he did have something to believe in, something to live for, because here, in his arms, was something to believe in.</p>
<p>And that realization had the weight of the last five years, the last nine years, the weight of the heavy burdens that he’d been shouldering for the dead, pressing down on him and bringing him to his knees.</p>
<p>She fell to her knees with him, refusing to let go of him, even as he dragged her down. He pressed his forehead to her shoulder, tightening his arms around her as his sobs shuddered through him.</p>
<p>He’d only seen her cry for her father. The death of such an important person had been the only thing capable of drawing such an expression of grief from her. But now… she cried with him, and he knew these tears were for him. He did not deserve these tears, did not deserve her, but she cried for him just the same.</p>
<p>She must have been freezing. He had long since lost track of time by the time his tears finally slowed, he had no idea how long she’d sat in the rain with him. But she never once complained. She just held him as he cried and cried and cried.</p>
<p>He finally drew away from her, but she took his hand in her own and did not let go. Dimitri retrieved his father’s lance as they passed by, but he did not protest or resist as she led him through the dormitories, back to his room, that he had not slept in for five years.</p>
<p>The door was wide open though, the wood around the latch fractured. “Sorry. I was a little panicked,” she confessed softly.</p>
<p>He stared at her as she shut the door behind them, thinking of a door that he had almost destroyed five years ago in a similar panic, after Felix had informed him that she was fighting the Death Knight by herself.</p>
<p>He let her take Areadbhar from him and watched as she placed it against the wall. He did not object as she pulled his soaked cloak from his shoulders and then sat him on the bed. He did not protest as she pulled the chair from the desk over and began to methodically unfasten the buckles of his armor.</p>
<p>He finally broke the silence, asking the question that he hadn’t dared to ask her in the rain. “What would you have done if I hadn’t stopped?” If he had insisted on going to Enbarr anyway.</p>
<p>Her fingers paused on his gauntlet as her gaze rose to hold his own. “I would have gone with you, if you’d let me.”</p>
<p>He was quiet as her words settled in. She was an experienced enough fighter to know what following him would have meant, to know what him leaving would have meant. It would have meant his death, and she would have followed him even then--together forever.</p>
<p>Her voice broke the trance that he’d fallen into as she finished removing his armor and stood, removing her jacket. “Do you have a towel?”</p>
<p>It would be good for her to dry off, to help fight against the chill that he was certain must have soaked into her from the rain. And while he didn’t sleep in his room anymore, he at least kept what few clothes he had in there. He gestured to the wardrobe.</p>
<p>Byleth retrieved a towel and then returned, placing it on the chair. Then she reached out, her hands going for his eyepatch as she said, “I need to--"</p>
<p>
  <i>You’re repulsive, Dimitri.</i>
</p>
<p>He caught her hands. “Leave it.” She did not need to see the ruined eye, the piece of him that matched the monster inside.</p>
<p>She hesitated before relenting with a nod and retrieving the towel. But she did not dry herself off. She reached for him, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning into her touch, even through the towel, as she delicately dried his hair. And then the towel brushed against his back, passing over the stab wound that spasmed with pain in response.</p>
<p>“You didn’t let Mercedes heal you,” Byleth questioned sternly.</p>
<p>“No,” he affirmed. He hadn’t let Mercedes heal him at all. He hadn’t needed healing in five years, and if this wound had killed him, he would’ve been grateful for it.</p>
<p>And Byleth was once again like him, for he remembered her refusing healing before, remembered her requesting that he not take her to Manuela. He remembered tending to her wounds himself. And it was that memory that drove him to speak again as she set the towel down. “Are you going to drag me to the infirmary?”</p>
<p>And that was when he saw it. The specter of a smile. He hadn’t seen her smile once since she’d returned. But even if it was faint, she was smiling now, and that smile was undoubtedly something worth living for. And he knew that she remembered the same night he did, because her fingers delicately brushed over the scar on her forearm.</p>
<p>“No. But you need to let me see it,” she finally said.</p>
<p>He froze as his fingers reached the edge of his shirt.</p>
<p>
  <i>You’re revolting, Dimitri.</i>
</p>
<p>He was. His skin was a patchwork of scars, a canvas for his suffering. The thick scars across his back had been there since that day, but the past five years had decorated that canvas with laceration after laceration, cut after cut, scar after scar.</p>
<p>Byleth was waiting patiently, so he finally pulled his shirt off and threw it to the end of the bed, but he averted her eyes, not wanting to see the disgust that would surely show in her gaze. </p>
<p>Her fingers delicately traced across a thick line on his bicep, and he finally brought his eye to hers again. His breath caught in his throat as she brushed her fingers across the scar from a large gash on the right side of his chest. But it was not disgust in her gaze, it was the same way she always looked at him--like there was something in him worth saving, like it was possible that he was more than just a monster. Like it might be possible that she loved him the way that he loved her.</p>
<p>She suddenly moved, bringing her arms around him and pressing her fingers against the wound on his back. But instead of pain, her touch was soothing, her touch was vitalizing as she exhaled and he could actually feel the hurt drawing out, the depth of the wound receding.</p>
<p>It was utterly unlike the healing that Mercedes was capable of--healing that encouraged wounds to close up faster, aided in stopping bleeding. This was once again something divine, the kind of salvation that only a goddess could offer.</p>
<p>When she pulled away from him, he stared at her. “I didn’t know you could do that,” he murmured. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but she continued to amaze him, endlessly proving herself seraphic.</p>
<p>“I’ve never done that before,” she responded softly, again wearing that ghost of a smile on her lips.</p>
<p>He stared at her, at that smile, that smile that had changed him forever from the first moment he’d seen it.</p>
<p>“You should rest,” Byleth said, finally breaking the silence, finally breaking the way they were holding each other’s gaze, as she rose to her feet.</p>
<p>He complied, but just as she needed him to face the night, he needed her. Especially tonight. When the dead were certain to torment him like never before, certain to haunt him for failing them, for abandoning them. And he was not strong enough to face them on his own.</p>
<p>He caught her hand. “Will you stay?”</p>
<p>She sat back down, squeezing his hand softly as she did so. “Always.”</p>
<p>And as she gave him the same answer that he had once given her, it soothed some of the brokenness in his heart, in his soul. And if he were making his own choices, choosing what he wanted to live for, it was to be true to his word, to be there for her, always.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Sunlight was streaming through the window when Dimitri woke. In his old bed, rather than leaning against a wall in the cathedral, with a small, warm hand clinging to his own. He’d been certain that he’d dreamed it all, a bittersweet reprieve from the nightmares of that day nine years ago, a bittersweet reprieve from the nightmare he lived. But there she was, still seated in the chair, with her torso slumped over the mattress, her head resting near his chest.</p>
<p>He'd never felt worthy of her. And even now, with her so close, loving her felt like reaching for a star in the sky. But he had always been a fool, and he knew that he wouldn't stop reaching, in the desperate hope that somehow, that star might fall to where he could reach out and grasp it, just as he grasped her hand now.</p>
<p><i>She already left you once, she will leave you again. We’ll be with you forever,</i> Glenn taunted him.</p>
<p>And he was partially right. Byleth had disappeared once, and Dimitri was certain that the dead would always haunt him. But not even death had been enough to keep her away, to keep her from staying with him--always.</p>
<p>He’d been willing to die for her. He’d thought that dying would free her from him. But now, he was willing to do something much harder. He was willing to live for her. To let go of the past that he clung to, to live in the present, and to fight for the future he dared to dream of.</p>
<p>Dimitri carefully slid from the bed, slowly extracting his hand from hers, so as not to wake her. He dressed as quietly as he could. He reached for his cloak, hanging beside the door, and found it mercifully dry from the rain that had soaked it the night before.</p>
<p>He turned back and settled it over Byleth’s still sleeping form. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and gently brushing a lock of hair off of her cheek. Her lips tilted up at his touch, and she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep, “Dimitri.”</p>
<p>And he knew what he believed in, what he would live for, and it was not the dead. He would become the only kind of man who could even hope to stand beside her. He would become a king.</p>
<p>And he knew exactly what he was fighting for. Despite how exhausted he was deep in his soul, he thought of the smile she’d given him, a smile worth protecting, the warmth of her hands as she pulled him from the dark, and he was ready for war.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. The King's Triumphant Return</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions head to Fhirdiad to reclaim Dimitri's throne.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CONTENT WARNING: Explicit sex, first time.<br/>Both POVs it begins after "What if I told you that I understand exactly what will happen if I stay with you tonight?" and goes until end of that POV.</p>
<p>I would say let me know if there's anything you want to see from the other POV, but I think this chapter got pretty much everything doubled up!</p>
<p>This ended up being... really long! But here is The King's Triumphant Return. With how long this did end up being, I'm afraid there is no way I will be able to pull off a double posting next week but I should have The Golden Deer's Plea up on Friday unless something goes horribly wrong at work.</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>Throne - Bring Me The Horizon<br/>A Thousand Years - Christina Perri<br/>Unstable - Justin Bieber<br/>Undisclosed Desires - Muse</p>
<p>Side note - I'll also be going through previous chapters and fixing some formatting and typos. I don't <i>think</i> this will send notifications to anyone, but I apologize if it does! And if anyone knows of any major typos, feel free to comment or reach out to me on Discord (Rize#7016) because I'm sure there's some that I don't know about!</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>I woke wrapped in warmth and the scent that I’d come to associate with safety, with home. But when I tightened my hand where another was supposed to be, there was nothing. The panic that shot through me had me opening my eyes and sitting up, despite how stiff my back was from spending the night slumped over onto the mattress from the chair. But then my gaze fell on Areadbhar, still leaning against the wall in the corner.</p>
<p>I doubted that Dimitri would have gone to Enbarr without his lance or his cloak, and while the fear eating away at me wasn’t erased, it was at least eased. I reluctantly removed his cloak and hung it back by the door, retrieving my own jacket before leaving the room.</p>
<p>It was not long after that I was summoned to a war council to discuss the events of the battle at Gronder Field. It had felt so far away the night before, the entire war being forgotten in comparison to Dimitri. But in the light of day, the heaviness of our situation settled back over me.</p>
<p>“Our victory at Gronder Field was certainly a turning point for us. However… Rodrigue’s death has been difficult to bear. We’ve lost considerable military strength and resources,” Gilbert reported.</p>
<p>It was true that we had dealt a blow to the Empire, forcing Edelgard herself to retreat, but we had also been forced to fall back. And Rodrigue’s death was not a loss just to Dimitri and Felix, but also to the overall war effort. I couldn’t hide my frown. “Are there no other lords we can rely on?”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, with things as they are now, I don’t think House Gautier has any resources to spare,” Sylvain lamented.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I really wish we could help,” Ingrid added. “If only House Galatea had anything to give…”</p>
<p>I shook my head. They were not to blame, with both houses busy trying to hold their own against Cornelia’s takeover of the Kingdom.</p>
<p>“If we split up the soldiers currently defending the monastery and the Great Bridge of Myrddin, we should have sufficient numbers to invade the Empire,” Gilbert pondered. “But even then…”</p>
<p>The sound of footsteps had Gilbert trailing off as we all turned towards the doorway to see Dimitri enter. Even though I hadn’t really believed that he had left, I still felt a wave of relief rush over me. He looked clear-eyed in a way I hadn’t seen in a long time.</p>
<p>“Your Highness!” Dedue said, his eyes wide. “You should be resting. Your wounds are still healing…”</p>
<p>“I am well, I assure you,” Dimitri responded with a shake of his head and a pointed look at me. “More importantly… May I have a moment of your time?”</p>
<p>I nodded when I realized that his gaze was still fixed on me.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” He took a deep breath. “I wish to apologize. To all of you. I have led you down this dark path with me, and have caused so much suffering along the way… I cannot tell you how sorry I am for my behavior. There is no apology I could offer that would be sufficient.”</p>
<p>Felix grunted distastefully. “And how do you intend to make up for my father’s death?”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head woefully. “Felix… I realize words alone are not enough to repent, but I fear they are all I have.”</p>
<p>“I’m not after more empty words,” Felix hissed. “I want you to speak through your actions.”</p>
<p>“I know that no amount of regret can ever bring back the lives we have lost. I… I know that well,” Dimitri responded bitterly. “It is like patching up a tear with a different material. Things can never be as they were. The best I can hope for is to make things whole again. I wish to do the right thing from now on. That is why I have made a decision…” He glanced around at the others before his gaze landed back on me. “I intend to take back the Kingdom capital. I wish to save our people, those who I turned my back on for far too long. To follow my heart and do the right thing… That is the only way I can atone for my sins.”</p>
<p><i>Things can never be as they were.</i> It was the truth. People didn’t just kill and bury the demons inside of them. Instead, they learned to live with them, bargain with them, wrest control from them. I knew that perhaps better than anyone, for I had always been a demon myself. That had never changed--the destructive force within me had been innate, not a gift from the goddess but rather empowered by it.</p>
<p>The demon would always be there, but it wasn’t the only piece of me anymore. A part of me that was human had been exhumed, and that part of me had bargained with the demon. The beast that Dimitri had awakened and fed with blood would likely never go back to rest, not fully, but when I looked in his eye, I saw the compassionate prince that had shown me how to be human, and it felt like a heavy weight that I’d carried in my heart since that day I’d opened my eyes again was beginning to lift.</p>
<p>“Your Highness…” Gilbert paused and cleared his throat, as if a lump had lodged there. “If we can win back Fhirdiad, it will give us the advantage in our war against the Empire. As one who has served the royal family for ages, know that your words bring me great joy. And pride. That said, I must point out that if we make for Fhirdiad, the emperor’s head will slip further out of reach. Can you live with that?”</p>
<p>“I still hold hatred in my heart for her and for the ones responsible for the tragedy… That, I will carry with me until death,” Dimitri admitted. “But… my life is my own. It belongs to no one else, and it is high time that I started living for what I believe in.” He offered me the ghost of a smile, the first real one I’d seen since my return. “I will no longer allow the voices of the dead to bind me. This is something that I must do… No. Something that I am <i>choosing</i> to do. I will accomplish my aim, even if it means risking my life to do so.”</p>
<p>“Understood, Your Highness.” Gilbert turned to me. “So? Any objections?”</p>
<p>“Count me in,” I said earnestly, and I wasn’t sure when I’d last smiled so freely.</p>
<p>“You are correct,” Seteth agreed. “We cannot afford to die in vain by recklessly challenging the Empire.”</p>
<p>“I’m worried about Lady Rhea… but if this is the choice you’ve made, I support it,” Mercedes stated.</p>
<p>I was still not sure if I really wanted to find the archbishop, but I wasn’t about to say that out loud. Not when I needed the church to continue to support me.</p>
<p>“I am at your command, Your Highness,” Dedue said with a bow. “I will follow you anywhere.”</p>
<p>“My sword is at your service, Your Highness,” Ashe pledged.</p>
<p>“I’ll help too! The people of Fhirdiad need us!” Annette said with a determined smile.</p>
<p>“Fine,” Felix’s voice rang out clearly. “I’ll help you… in my father’s stead. But in return, you must win. You know that, don’t you… Dimitri?”</p>
<p>It may have been the first time I’d ever heard him refer to the prince by his name.</p>
<p>Dimitri nodded. “I do. And I swear on my father’s lance that we will prevail.”</p>
<p>“Then it is decided. It seems this war council has much to discuss,” Gilbert declared, his voice brimming with pride. “Our next stop is Fhirdiad, the Kingdom capital. For the future of Faerghus!”</p><hr/>
<p>I was finishing up in the cardinal’s room by myself when Shamir stormed in, a menacing frown spread across her lips.</p>
<p>“So we’re turning around and heading for the Kingdom capital?” she demanded. “Ridiculous. Tell him to cease this nonsense. Isn’t there a saying in Fódlan. Something those with power not knowing how to use it? If he’s not careful, the goddess will send her saints to smite him. Not that I believe that--”</p>
<p>Her words died in her throat as I slammed her against the wall and pressed the edge of my dagger to her neck. Her eyes widened with a mixture of fear and fury.</p>
<p>That made two of us who were filled with fury. “You would do well, Shamir, to remember that I am more dangerous than you,” I hissed in her ear. “And if you <i>ever</i> speak of Dimitri like that again, perhaps the goddess will send <i>me</i> to smite <i>you</i>.”</p>
<p>Shamir coughed out a bitter laugh as I drew back and sheathed my dagger again. “Everyone’s been calling the prince a violent beast, but you’re one too.” She rubbed her neck where the blade had been. “But I follow you because you’re strong. So I understand. If you’re supporting this, I’ll keep my mouth shut.”</p>
<p>I didn’t spare her a second look as I left the room.</p><hr/>
<p>The day flew by in a blur as we all worked towards the change in direction, to plan towards heading for Fhirdiad. By the time night fell, I realized that I had no idea where to go. I had no idea if Dimitri would still be in the cathedral when he’d spent the night before in his room. But my fears were proven to be unfounded when I made my way to the cathedral to find him waiting by the pew that had become my bed.</p>
<p>He greeted me with a faint smile that made me weak in the knees. “I thought you might come here.” He sighed softly. “I really caused trouble for you, didn’t I… I am so sorry. Truly. I am also… eternally grateful to you. We are now preparing to go to the Kingdom capital. I hope that you will lend me your strength once again.”</p>
<p>I’d already pledged to be his weapon, already promised him I’d remain at his side, and that had not changed. “Always,” I assured him.</p>
<p>“Thank you, truly.” He was quiet for a long moment. “I have a proposition, Byleth… Why don’t we use my room, instead of the cathedral? Just to sleep, of course. It will just be far more comfortable for you than a wooden bench.”</p>
<p>I nodded, not trusting my voice to remain steady with the tightness in my throat. Hope warmed my heart, as I beheld how things had changed--his resolve to really make for Fhirdiad, to let go of the vengeance that had been driving him mad, and as I beheld the things that had not changed--the way that he still understood me, deeply, and knew that I still needed him.</p>
<p>He let out a breath and then gestured towards the doorway. “Well then, shall we?”</p>
<p>I nodded again and we made our way to his room in silence, walking side by side.</p>
<p>He had clearly already stopped by the cathedral, because folded on the floor next to the bed, was the blanket that I had been sleeping in each night. I moved towards the blanket when he shook his head. “That’s for me,” he said quietly. “You should take the bed.”</p>
<p>“Dimitri, that’s not--” It wasn’t fair.</p>
<p>He cut me off. “I insist. You take the bed, Byleth.”</p>
<p>I reluctantly conceded, knowing well just how unyielding he was capable of being. I sat on the bed and removed my armor and boots just as he removed his own. He settled his cloak on the floor beneath him and then laid on the ground, pulling the blanket over himself.</p>
<p>I nestled into the bed, pulling the sheets over me, cherishing the way they smelled faintly of him from just one night of him sleeping in them. If I was being honest with myself, I wanted nothing more than for him to share the bed with me, to share himself with me, but I was through being selfish. He’d stayed, and I knew I should let that be enough for me, to let him decide what he was willing to give. To accept that even if he never wanted to be with me in the way I craved, he was still my dearest friend.</p>
<p>I turned onto my side so I was facing him, to find him doing the same, facing me, that icy blue eye fixed on me.</p>
<p>“How is your wound?” I asked softly as I watched him adjust the way his weight was resting on his shoulder.</p>
<p>“It’s much better, thanks to you.” He was quiet for a long moment before he sighed, turning his gaze to the ceiling. “I have taken so many lives… and with each one, I face hatred. During the last five years especially. My life was not so different from that of a wild beast… And that young girl… Her eyes were filled with revenge… just as mine were. Her brother… At some point, I must have… That is why I thought it only natural that someone would retaliate someday. Because I hated, because I stole, and… because I killed.”</p>
<p>I shook my head against my pillow, and the words that I had been so afraid of sharing, the words that were sure to earn me his hatred, spilled out of me. “<i>I</i> killed her brother.”</p>
<p>He turned his head back to stare at me. “What?”</p>
<p>“I’m the one who killed her brother,” I repeated. “Her brother was the general who led the Imperial force against the monastery… It’s my fault that Rodrigue is dead.”</p>
<p>He glared at me as I had expected, but the words he fiercely delivered were vastly different from what I had anticipated. “Don’t <i>ever</i> blame yourself for that. You drew your blade with the best of intentions.” His expression softened, turning sorrowful. “Even now, we will be heading for the Kingdom with good intentions, but we will undoubtedly have to take many more lives. I suppose this is yet another thing we will just have to live with.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t deny the relief that washed over me at his words, knowing that he didn’t detest me for the death that I had reaped, even as he brought up the realities of war that would endlessly pursue us. The realities of war that he had once fought so hard against. “I feel the same way,” I said softly.</p>
<p>“Yes… As one who chose to fight, it is my responsibility to confront the anguish, and the true nature of war… Until the day my life comes to an end,” he murmured.</p>
<p>I couldn’t stop myself from draping my arm off the edge of the bed, from reaching for his hand. And once his hand was in mine, I promised him, “We can confront it together.”</p>
<p>“Thank you…” He leaned over and blew out the candle on the floor between us before settling back in, but he did not release my hand, and I did not want him to.</p>
<p>After a few moments of silence he continued into the dark, “You know, Byleth… There is something that I only recently realized. I never knew it could be so… comforting to have someone by my side…”</p>
<p>I hadn’t known it either, not until I met him. And now, I never wanted to leave his side. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze in response, and then with him beside me, his hand clasped in mine, and wrapped in his fragrance, I drifted off and slept better than I had in a long time.</p><hr/>
<p>Dimitri was gone when I woke up. But as soon as I made it out into the monastery, it became clear that he had risen early to work on preparations for heading towards Fhirdiad. Gilbert had already sent messengers to communicate with Felix’s uncle about our forces moving through Fraldarius territory.</p>
<p>The decision was made to split the Knights of Seiros between the Great Bridge of Myrddin and the monastery itself while we would lead the soldiers from the Kingdom, including the men that Rodrigue had provided us with, to the capital. </p>
<p>The morale that had been so low on the way to Gronder Field was once again high, but it was different than it had been before we marched for Myrddin. It was the same thing that I felt as I watched Dimitri--it was hope. The tides of the war felt like they were changing, with hope now blooming in our hearts.</p>
<p>Felix begrudgingly admitted that while Dimitri had a lot to make up for, his father would’ve been glad to make the sacrifice if he could see the prince now. But even Felix seemed to have hope growing in him, because he once again referred to the prince by his name.</p>
<p>And just as hope was blooming amongst us, I made my way to the greenhouse to see how the flowers were faring, only to find Dedue doing the same thing.</p>
<p>“Here for the flowers again?” he asked as I entered.</p>
<p>“That’s right.”</p>
<p>“I see.” He was quiet for a long moment, looking at the flowers that were blossoming all around the greenhouse, a far cry from the desolate state I’d found it in upon waking. “Everyone is saying His Highness is back to his old self, but I do not think that is accurate,” he said pensively. “What he was until recently is what he had been for as long as I’ve known him. So tortured by his compassion for the fallen that it had driven him mad. He has always been too kind to be king. He has always felt too much for the weak and the dead. That is exactly why I look up to him.”</p>
<p>Dedue was right about Dimitri. And that compassion, that kindness, had driven my soul to yearn for his for so long. That compassion, that kindness, had led to humanity budding in my own petrified heart.</p>
<p>“The greenhouse is in full bloom again, thanks to you. I am glad to not be the flowers’ only caretaker,” Dedue remarked.</p>
<p>“I am glad to not be their only caretaker, too,” I said, smiling softly as I tore my gaze from the valerian that was once again flourishing.</p>
<p>He fixed me with a stare. “I must admonish you for taking your own well-being too lightly. I have seen you protect others by putting yourself in harm’s way. I am grateful for your efforts, but I feel you should place a higher value on your own life. His Highness relies on you… as do I.”</p>
<p>Sothis had once asked me if I was prepared to die. And now, more than ever, I was not. More than ever, I felt like I had too much to live for. “I understand. But the same goes for you. Dimitri needs you too.”</p>
<p>He nodded slowly. “Someday, once His Highness has ascended the throne, I’d like to show you both a whole landscape of these flowers in bloom. In Duscur.”</p>
<p>“I’d like that.” And even as Dedue brought up the crown that the man I loved would wear, his throne that we would soon be setting out to reclaim, he didn’t feel quite so far from reach anymore.</p><hr/>
<p>We wasted no time in beginning our march towards Fhirdiad once Gilbert received confirmation from Felix’s uncle that we were safe to begin moving through Fradlarius territory. And every night on our trek, without fail, Dimitri’s bedroll ended up next to mine, just as his hand ended up holding tightly to mine as we slept.</p>
<p>News of our imminent arrival to Fhirdiad had traveled to the city, and the citizenry began to rebel in response. But no move was made to suppress them, all of the Imperial troops remained focused on preventing our force from reaching the castle.</p>
<p>Dimitri pulled me to a side street near the entrance of the city when we arrived while our scouts moved forward.</p>
<p>“Fhirdiad… It has been a lifetime since I was here last,” Dimitri observed as he looked around. “Five years ago, in fact. On the day before my execution, when Dedue helped me escape from prison. I killed soldiers from my homeland, stole weapons from their corpses, and made my escape, soaked in their blood… To think this is how I would return to the city of my birth, after all that has happened…”</p>
<p>I couldn’t stop myself from taking his hand, giving a gentle squeeze. “I am proud of you.” Proud of the man he’d become, proud of the way he fought against his demons, proud to fight at his side.</p>
<p>“I do not deserve that,” he responded with a shake of his head, but he did not pull his hand from mine. “If not for you or Rodrigue, I would still be lost… I am glad to have you at my side. From the bottom of my heart… I am forever grateful.”</p>
<p>He fixed me with a stare. “Let’s win this, Byleth,” he implored me. “Let’s all make it out alive and celebrate our victory.”</p>
<p>The way he was looking at me was so similar to the last real celebration we’d had, after winning the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. It made it hard to breathe.</p>
<p>“Your Highness,” Gilbert’s voice interrupted us, and Dimitri’s hand dropped from mine. “The path to the castle has been cleared. We are making preparations to advance. Say the word, and we march.”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s eye flicked back to mine from Gilbert.</p>
<p>“Give the order,” I urged him with a nod.</p>
<p>“Yes… Let us begin,” Dimitri agreed.</p>
<p>We made our way back to our main force where Dimitri stood before them, with me at his side. “Everyone! Listen well!” he called out. “This battle is for all that the Empire stole from us. It is a fight to reclaim the days of peace we once enjoyed. I give you but two commands--stay alive, and follow your heart. That is all I ask. The gates to the Kingdom capital are open. Join me! It is time to take back our home!”</p>
<p>A battle cry rose from the Kingdom army, from the Blue Lions stationed as commanders among them, and from me.</p><hr/>
<p>We pushed our way through the city, the castle coming into view. “Advance! Smash that traitor Cornelia and reclaim the capital!” Dimitri commanded as we neared. “I will not lose… I swear it by the blood in my veins…”</p>
<p>I returned to fighting at Dimitri’s side, just as had always felt natural, but rather than back-to-back the way we had once fought, I fought at his right-hand side, protecting his blind spot.</p>
<p>Suddenly, booms echoed across the city and the ground shook in time with them. Dimitri and I exchanged a glance. The booming was almost like… footsteps. As we moved up the steps towards the gate of the castle, two massive stone statues with unearthly lights running up their contours stepped into view, blocking our path.</p>
<p>A woman’s voice rang out from the next level up in the streets, “Let’s see how you enjoy the Titanus!”</p>
<p>Our soldiers began to scatter in the face of the massive figures, until a sharp gust of wind caught the golem on the right, halting its advance. Annette emerged at the front of the line, with Felix at her side.</p>
<p>“We’ve got this one!” he called out to us as the rest of the Blue Lions rallied to join him, leaving Dimitri and I free to advance on the golem on the left.</p>
<p>Red energy pulsed around us as both of our Relics lit up. I raised my arm, swinging the Sword of the Creator up in the air, and then brought the whip-blade crashing down upon the Titanus. At the same time, a crack rang through the air and a fissure erupted across the stones under my feet as Dimitri’s lance blow landed, and together we cleaved the golem in two, leaving our pathway clear.</p>
<p>At the top of the stairs, we rounded the corner towards the main castle gate to find a woman who could only be Cornelia, standing in a long red dress with a slit running up the right side of it all the way to her hip, where a thin belt holding a dagger was slung. The bust of the dress was accented with black lace and a lot of skin. She had flowing ginger hair and a thin golden circlet adorned her head.</p>
<p>Her features lit up in a vicious way as she took in Dimitri at my side. “My, it’s been a long time, hasn’t it, Your Highness? You’ve grown awfully strong. And your dear professor even survived her tumble somehow.”</p>
<p>Cornelia glanced at me before her gaze flitted back to Dimitri, whose eye was glued to the dagger at her hip.</p>
<p>“Oh my, are you still upset about this?” she asked as her fingers laced around the hilt of the weapon. “I have no intention of giving it back. But it’s so kind of you to go to the trouble of coming all the way here… Now shall I take your other eye?”</p>
<p>Cornelia drew the dagger from its sheath, and the sunlight caught on a bright sapphire glinting in the blade as she brandished it at Dimitri. I knew that dagger. I had given that dagger to the prince. And from Cornelia’s words, and the way she was vaunting the blade…</p>
<p>I glanced at Dimitri in horror as the realization settled in. I had never gotten the courage to ask him what had cost him his eye, but now I understood with clarity. Cornelia had taken it. Cornelia had taken his eye with the dagger she stole from him.</p>
<p>“I’ll kill you, you monster! You will pay for all that you have done!” Dimitri roared at her, fury echoing in every note.</p>
<p>The same wrath that I felt building up inside of me, creeping beneath my skin and boiling in my veins. And that wrath moved me forward before I could think.</p>
<p>“You are a very troublesome person,” she hissed at me. Magic crackled at Cornelia’s fingertips, but my rage was writhing as flames in my fists, flames that I threw against the dark miasma she summoned. The blasts crashed together and left a haze of smoke in the air, smoke that I surged through and swung my blade out where I could see that sapphire glistening as I severed Cornelia’s hand.</p>
<p>I wanted to take my time tearing her spine out piece by piece, like links in a chain. But my rage made me sloppy, chaotic. I barely processed what was happening as I snatched the dagger from the detached hand and drove the blade into her over and over.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until I finally plunged it into her right eye that I stopped. I turned to look at Dimitri as I rose from the corpse, to find him staring at me with a mixture of adoration and… disappointment.</p>
<p>Disappointment, because this should have been his kill, his retribution to deliver. And once I understood that, I felt for the divine pulse of time and ran the clock back, taking solace in the fact that Cornelia would die twice.</p>
<p>“I’ll kill you, you monster! You will pay for all that you have done!” Dimitri roared at her, fury echoing in every note.</p>
<p>Cornelia thrust her free hand out, dark magic shooting from her palm. But I knew where she would be aiming, and I sliced through it with my blade, leaving Dimitri free to lunge forward and run her through with Areadbhar.</p>
<p>“It’s over, Cornelia. If you have any last words, now is the time,” Dimitri snarled at her as she fell to the ground.</p>
<p>“Right you are,” she said with a cough that colored her lips red with blood. “I’ll give you a little gift… I have an old tale that I would like you to hear, if I may. About something that happened ten years ago…”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s posture stiffened.</p>
<p>A cruel smile split Cornelia’s bloodstained lips. “Something Patricia said about how she wished to see her real daughter again, no matter who or what she had to sacrifice to do so… And about how I made her wish come true, at the cost of the king’s head…”</p>
<p>“The king’s head? You mean Duscur… You monster! You mean to say that my father… everyone… was killed by my stepmother?!” Dimitri demanded.</p>
<p>“That’s right. Her family meant everything to her… You certainly know that feeling, do you not?” Cornelia’s green eyes glittered unkindly. “Ah, poor little prince. Unloved by the only mother he ever knew… How pitiful.”</p>
<p>“How dare you!” Dimitri screamed at her.</p>
<p>Cornelia laughed again, but the sound turned into a cough that sent blood spewing onto the ground. “There’s nothing left for you now… Nothing but despair.” And then the light in her eyes guttered out.</p>
<p>I found myself wishing that I had not seized the hands of time, that I had left my slaughter of Cornelia intact, if only to spare Dimitri from her words now. He was glaring at her body with a wild look in his eye as he crouched down and pulled the dagger from her grasp, and then he tore the belt off her waist to retrieve the sheath.</p>
<p>He finally turned to look at me as he strung the sheath onto his own belt and then tucked the dagger into it. Back at his side, as it was supposed to be.</p>
<p>He opened his mouth, but Gilbert’s arrival had him closing it again.</p><hr/>
<p>We regrouped in the castle after routing the remaining Imperial troops. The Blue Lions and our soldiers had scattered throughout the castle, leaving Dimitri and I with Dedue and Gilbert.</p>
<p>“Try as that woman might to spout nonsense to her very last, nothing could change the fact that she was an enemy to the Kingdom. She sold out Faerghus to the Empire, forcing our people to suffer their tyranny… But all of that ends today. No more blood will needlessly be spilled. Now that Cornelia has fallen, we will exert pressure on the nobles who were aligned with her,” Dimitri declared.</p>
<p>I was not looking at a prince, not anymore. I was looking at a king, who was more concerned with the misery that his people had suffered than the atrocities that Cornelia had committed against him.</p>
<p>Dimitri turned to Dedue. “Perhaps we may yet find a connection to the tragic incident in Duscur. Once we do that, we will finally be able to prove the innocence of its people.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness… I am certain that would make those of Duscur who lost their lives that day very happy,” Dedue responded, his usually stern face softened with a smile. “I am grateful. And I am proud to serve a man such as you.”</p>
<p>Gilbert gestured towards the door at the end of the hallway. “Come, Your Highness. You still have some responsibilities that must be carried out. Your people have been patiently awaiting your return.”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s eye widened. “Do you mean… no. I can’t bear to face them after all that I--”</p>
<p>“You must face them,” I cut him off.</p>
<p>“Byleth… Right you are, as ever. I am their king, after all…” He turned to allow Gilbert to lead him out onto the balcony ahead of us that overlooked the city, but he stopped and looked back at me. “Come with me?”</p>
<p>I nodded, and I followed my king out onto the balcony. I flanked his left side while Gilbert stood at his right. As Dimitri stepped out to the railing, cheering erupted from a massive crowd that had gathered below.</p>
<p>“What… what is this?” Dimitri asked quietly.</p>
<p>“As you can see, the people are rejoicing at the return of their king,” Gilbert responded proudly.</p>
<p>“Even though I turned my back on them, and fled the Kingdom in disgrace…” Dimitri wondered aloud.</p>
<p>“Even so… the spectacle before you does not lie. We are a Kingdom in need of a king. A hero to save the people from their long oppression.” Gilbert paused, and his voice was thick with emotion when he continued, “Your Highness… It is truly a blessing that you have returned.”</p>
<p>“Do I really have the right to stand here? Will they accept me as their king? Bloodstained as I am… Am I fit to be king?” Dimitri questioned, tears glistening on his cheek.</p>
<p>I could think of no one more fit to be a king than the man standing before me. “Don’t cry, Dimitri. This is a happy time,” I said gently, even as I felt tears streaming down my own cheeks.</p>
<p>He turned his head slightly to look back at me and smiled, even as he cried. “These are happy tears, my friend.” His gaze moved back out to the crowd--his people. “I am finally home again… Faerghus… How I missed you…”</p>
<p>As I continued to cry, I realized that he was right. It was possible to weep with happiness, as I did while I stared at the man I loved, a triumphant king, returned home at last.</p><hr/>
<p>The victory feasts I’d seen at the monastery were nothing in the face of the festivities put on that night in celebration of the liberation of Fhirdiad. The castle was awash with dancing and food and people.</p>
<p>The doors had been thrown open to allow the people of the city to come and go freely, and the merriment seemed to stretch through the streets without end. People flooded in, trying to catch a glimpse of the Savior King.</p>
<p>I’d barely seen the Savior King myself once the festivities began in earnest. The rest of the Blue Lions seemed to be enjoying themselves, though. Ingrid was following Sylvain around after he teased her that he’d need her attentiveness to keep him out of trouble. I even spied Felix and Annette dancing.</p>
<p>But the person I most wanted to see remained out of sight, and I eventually found myself slipping out into the cold evening air. I wandered the castle battlements with my arms wrapped around myself for warmth, staring out across the city as the citizens sang their praises to Dimitri.</p>
<p>“It may be spring, but the nights are quite chilly here in Fhirdiad.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his voice as I turned to see the Savior King himself standing behind me.</p>
<p>“Still, our celebratory feast shows no signs of stopping. Have you grown weary of the festivities?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I have,” I confessed.</p>
<p>He chuckled softly. “If memory serves, you were the same at the ball, all those years ago.”</p>
<p>“I was going to ask you the same.” A winter night where he’d appeared before me in the cold just like this, because we were the same. A winter night where I’d danced in his arms and wished that we would be together forever. A wish that I had thought he didn’t mean, evidence of the gap between us.</p>
<p>He shook his head. “It’s not that I have grown weary… more that I find it difficult to be around everyone at the moment. I have just returned from visiting the graves of my loved ones. It had been a long while since I left flowers. I was always terribly afraid of going near there… But I could not stay away forever.”</p>
<p>He drew his gaze from the ground and met mine as he held out his hand, blooming valerian in his grasp. I held my breath as he leaned in and tucked the flower behind my ear. “You know, you have taught me something important, Byleth.”</p>
<p>“Swordsmanship?” I suggested as he stepped back, but my thoughts were drifting to a move that he’d learned and later used to knock my feet out from under me. A move that had led him to cushion my fall, and the first move that had really made me understand what my heart wanted. What my heart still wanted.</p>
<p>“That too, of course. But what I am referring to is far more valuable.” He rubbed his chin with his hand. “How should I put this… Perhaps it is most accurate to say that… you taught me how to live. If you and I had not reunited on that fateful day, I am certain I would have died a fruitless death on the battlefield. I would have foolishly challenged a horde of foes and, in doing so, needlessly sacrificed the lives of my friends and myself. But now, I have returned to my rightful place.” He smiled gently at me. “I struggle with what to say, when I know well that words are not enough to express my gratitude. You saved me from the darkness… and guided me back to the light. Thank you, Byleth. With all that I am, I thank you.”</p>
<p>“Do you still wish for revenge?” I asked quietly.</p>
<p>“Revenge was never something I wished for… It was an obligation I felt I had inherited from those who died. I believed my life belonged to those who lost their own in Duscur.” He paused and fixed me with an intense stare. “But what I now seek is something else entirely… I can say that with confidence.”</p>
<p>He hadn’t dropped his eye from mine.</p>
<p>
  <i>I see the way you look at him.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Don’t look at me like that.</i>
</p>
<p>And now, he was looking at me the same way I looked at him. He was looking at me like he loved me. Like he saw the unacceptable thing inside of me, but accepted it anyway rather than wished to cut it away.</p>
<p>
  <i>You taught me how to live.</i>
</p>
<p>I wondered if he realized that he had done the same. A child who never laughed or cried. A mercenary who never smiled, a demon who slaughtered foes without a hint of emotion. And now I smiled and laughed and cried. And I loved. I loved so fiercely that I ached with it.</p>
<p>“You taught me how to live, too,” I whispered.</p>
<p>He took a step towards me and said softly, “I don’t want to fight this anymore.”</p>
<p>I didn’t either. I didn’t think I could, not anymore. I took a step towards him, and we finally bridged the gap between us, meeting in the middle.</p>
<p>His arms wrapped around me, one hand cradling my head, fingers winding in my hair. The other landed on my back, pulling me against him. I placed my hand on his chest, over his beating heart, and when he kissed me--deeply, passionately--it somehow felt like the first time.</p>
<p>And maybe it was. The first time that we both knew it was coming and were fully aware that something was fundamentally changing as our lips met, finally acknowledging the unspoken thing that existed between us.</p>
<p>It felt inevitable. Like every interaction we’d ever had, every moment from the day we’d met had been leading us to now, to this kiss, to each other. And I would have done anything--died over and over, cut down any foe in my path, to get here.</p>
<p>My father had told me years before that some souls were made for each other, like two halves of a whole. And in that moment, I knew without a doubt that he was right. I had found my missing piece, the missing piece of my soul that made me human, that made me a better person. It was Dimitri. It had always been him.</p>
<p>The sound of hurried footsteps echoing off the stones of the battlements broke through the din of merriment rising from the streets of Fhirdiad below. Reluctantly, we pulled away from each other. But Dimitri held my gaze, and there was a new ferocity in the way he looked at me.</p>
<p>“Your Highness! I finally found you!” a soldier called out breathlessly as he ran up to us.</p>
<p>“Ah, I am sorry for slipping away,” Dimitri said apologetically as he turned from me. “Has something happened?”</p>
<p>“An express messenger just arrived from the leader of the Alliance. Please return to the castle at once!” the soldier reported.</p>
<p>“An express messenger? What in the world could Claude be after? I am on my way.” Dimitri turned back to me. “Byleth, please join me.”</p>
<p>The soldier ran ahead to inform the messenger that he’d located Dimitri, leaving the two of us to make our way back to the meeting room in the castle where we’d been directed to go.</p>
<p>“We must prepare for our battle with the Empire soon,” he remarked as we walked. “To start, we must absorb the Kingdom knights taken by the Dukedom into our own forces and reshuffle our troops… The lords will need to help purge our territory of Imperial forces, and I will use my authority as king to gather forces from various regions… And we’ll have to ask the merchants to lend us the fund we require… Oh, and we must request delivery of supplies at once…”</p>
<p>“That sounds like a lot of work,” I said when he finally paused from rattling off his list.	</p>
<p>He gave me a small smile. “I cannot handle all of this work myself, you know. I will be counting on you. There is much to do, but it is all critical work if we hope to stand a chance against the Empire.”</p>
<p>“You will soon face Edelgard,” I said softly. His stepsister, who had started this war.</p>
<p>“Yes… I am well aware. Knowing her, I doubt there is a path that leads to our coexistence. I believe we have spoken of this before… Everyone has something they simply cannot accept. As for Edelgard, I am certain she will never be able to accept the Church of Seiros. I believe that is why she seeks to destroy it. She is looking to revolutionize the world. In her mind, for the better. But even if she manages to birth a new world… it would be at the cost of… I wish to end this war through acceptance, not annihilation. Just as my people accepted me, I wish dearly to accept her, despite how much hatred I still hold for her. But I fear--”</p>
<p>He cut himself off when we reached the meeting room.</p><hr/>
<p>“Go find Gilbert and deliver the same report to him. Tell him that we’ll hold council on it first thing in the morning,” Dimitri ordered after we’d heard what the messenger had to say.</p>
<p>The Alliance was being invaded by the Empire. And Claude was requesting help from the Kingdom to repel them.</p>
<p>“You’re not going to call a council now?” I asked Dimitri after we were left alone in the room.</p>
<p>“No.” He sighed softly. “I imagine we’ll be marching for Derdriu tomorrow, so everyone should have tonight to enjoy the celebration.”</p>
<p>“Are you going to go back to the feast?”</p>
<p>He was quiet for a moment while he fixed me with that intense stare. “Do you want to go back?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t,” I murmured, unable to tear my gaze from his.</p>
<p>He took a step towards me and brought his face close to mine. “What do you want, Byleth?”</p>
<p>I wanted him. I wanted him more than I’d wanted anything in my life. I wanted him to love me. I wanted <i>all</i> of him. “I want… I want you to kiss me again.”</p>
<p>So he did. He took my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. I kissed him back, and as my lips parted, his tongue swept in. His hands moved from my cheeks to my back to pull me tightly against him.</p>
<p>I was breathless when he finally pulled away, but the heat building in me wanted to beg him not to stop. Not to fight the connection between us anymore. But as he glanced at the doorway and then back at me, I realized he’d pulled away because of the footsteps that were echoing down the hall.</p>
<p>He grabbed my hand and led me quickly through the passages of the castle. We reached a door in an empty hallway and he dropped my hand, but as he reached for the handle he suddenly stopped.</p>
<p>“Where are we?” I asked.</p>
<p>“This… was my old bedroom.” He retracted his hand from the door and frowned at me. “I… I don’t think you should sleep here tonight.”</p>
<p>I couldn’t bear to leave his side, not tonight. And it had nothing to do with my fear of sleeping, and everything to do with him. “Dimitri, please,” I whispered.</p>
<p>His stare turned hard. “I don’t think you understand what will happen if you come in this room with me.”</p>
<p>I blinked as the words settled in, as I understood that something had fundamentally shifted between us the moment our lips had met. As I understood what would happen. What I had been prepared for ever since Sylvain had asked me if I would’ve stopped Dimitri, and probably before that. What I <i>wanted</i> to happen. And… what it seemed like Dimitri wanted to happen too.</p>
<p>I lifted my chin and stared back at him. “What if I told you that I understand exactly what will happen if I stay with you tonight?”</p>
<p>He froze.</p>
<p>“Dimitri. Do you want this?” I forced myself to ask, finally voicing the question I’d wondered for so long… if he wanted <i>me</i>. And I was finally starting to believe that he might.</p>
<p>He was quiet for a moment. “Yes,” he finally whispered. “More than anything. But what do <i>you</i> want, Byleth?”</p>
<p>“I want you.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>I smiled at him and nodded.</p>
<p>He gripped my hand in his again and reached for the door handle with the other. “If you… If you change your mind… tell me, and I will stop.”</p>
<p>I gave his hand a soft squeeze. “I want this. More than anything,” I assured him. I’d never wanted anyone else. Just him. The other piece of me.</p>
<p>He finally nodded as he pulled open the door and we slipped inside. Bright moonlight filtered through a window, enough to clearly make out a wide four-poster bed and a door on the wall to my left that appeared to lead into a bathing chamber.</p>
<p>The moonlight also illuminated Dimitri enough that I could see the unmistakable blush in his cheeks as he confessed softly, “I’ve never done this before.”</p>
<p>“Neither have I.” He’d been my first kiss, my first pleasure, my first love… and now I would give him everything, knowing that even if he changed his mind, he would be my last as well. Knowing that something was once more changing between us in a way that could not be undone.</p>
<p>I took a deep breath and shrugged off my jacket, letting it fall to the floor. Then I stepped forward, and Dimitri bent down to make it easier for me as I reached out and unfastened his cloak from his shoulders and let it fall as well. He pressed a soft kiss to my temple before pulling away.</p>
<p>My hands were shaking slightly as I fumbled with the buckles of his armor, littering each piece unceremoniously around us. Until I got to the belt that he had strung the dagger he’d retrieved from Cornelia on.</p>
<p>I unfastened the belt and took the dagger in my hands. He pulled his gloves off and wrapped his hands around mine.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think I’d ever get this back,” he said quietly as I met his gaze.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you did.” The only gift I’d ever given, back with the person it was intended for.</p>
<p>He gently pulled the dagger from my grasp and set it on a dresser beside the door, the only item that had been afforded the luxury of not being tossed aside on the floor.</p>
<p>I removed the rest of his armor in silence and then slid my hands under the hem of his shirt, brushing my palms over the muscled torso beneath. He trembled under my touch and then reached down and removed his shirt himself, likely knowing that I wouldn’t be able to reach over his head.</p>
<p>He was undressed to the same point I’d seen the night I’d stopped him from going to Enbarr, standing in just his pants. But it was different now, knowing that it wouldn’t stay that way, knowing that it wasn’t wrong to appreciate him now.</p>
<p>I took a shaky breath and went to unfasten my own gauntlets when he caught my hands in his own. “Let me.” He brushed a feather-light kiss across my lips. “Please.”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>Slowly, so slowly, he slipped off the gauntlets protecting my wrists, the bracers at my elbows. His hands slid to my hips next, which he squeezed gently before he unfastened my skirt and then he unhooked the belt that held my dagger.</p>
<p>“I’ve always wondered about your dagger,” he murmured as he studied the weapon. “It resembles those that are issued to the Kingdom’s royal guard.”</p>
<p>I stared at the dagger in his hands. “I was told that my father was originally from the Kingdom.” And I couldn’t help but recall my father telling me he wasn’t surprised that I’d been drawn to the Kingdom. Drawn to the prince, drawn to the king. If my father had somehow been a royal guard at one point, it was just another thing in my life that led back to Dimitri, as everything seemed to.</p>
<p>“Maybe… maybe you finally returned home today, too,” he said as he finally placed the dagger on the dresser, crossed atop his own. Two treasured weapons, just like we were, where they belonged, together.</p>
<p>Home had never been a place for me. Not when I traveled from place to place with my father, and not after my father’s death. “I returned home the day I reunited with you.”</p>
<p>He brought his hands to my neck, unfastening the buttons of the white ascot and the golden brooch. His thumb caressed over the scar his lance had left. “Thank you. Thank you for keeping your promise. Thank you for coming for me.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for being there,” I whispered. The only thing that had given me the strength to stand up again--knowing that someone was waiting for me. Hoping that he was waiting for me.</p>
<p>He reached out and retrieved the flower that he’d placed behind my ear, setting it on top of our daggers before his hands moved to slide across the plane of my stomach. His hands moved around to my back, sliding under my shirt, and then he froze as his fingers brushed over the scars, the remnants of the fall that had taken my life.</p>
<p>“We’re the same, you and I,” I whispered, looking at the scars scattered across his own chest before meeting his eye.</p>
<p>He pressed a kiss to my lips and then drew back, tenderly sliding his hands up my back as I lifted my arms for him to pull my shirt over my head, exposing my breasts to the cool air of the castle. “You’re exquisite,” he breathed as he gazed at me.</p>
<p>And then he moved in, pushing me against the wall, his bare chest pressed against mine. He kissed me again, but it was hungrier than before.</p>
<p>As he broke the kiss and began to move his lips down my jaw and then my neck, he slid a hand between us to cup my breast. His teeth scraped on my neck, and then his mouth closed on the soft spot between my neck and shoulder where he sucked gently. His fingers closed around my peaked nipple and pinched as his thigh slid between my legs, applying pressure at the apex where I was aching for him.</p>
<p>I couldn’t stop myself, his name escaping me in a breathy moan as I arched my back into him, begging for more. He grunted in approval, pressing harder against me as his other hand clasped my backside. And just as I had years ago, both in the training grounds and in the classroom, I could feel him through his pants.</p>
<p>Then he swept me up in his arms and carried me to the bed where he set me down softly. And then the king kneeled before me. He slowly slipped my boots off my feet and then removed the bracer over my left knee.</p>
<p>He rose and gently laid me back on the bed, settling shaking hands on my hips as he slipped my shorts off. He leaned over me, bringing his lips to mine as he delicately began to slide my stockings down, his fingers trailing against my skin in the wake of the lace.</p>
<p>Once my stockings were removed, he finally pulled my undergarment off, leaving me completely bare before him. He took in a sharp breath as he stared at me. I fought the urge to cover myself, but I’d decided to bare everything to him--he'd already accepted the demon within me, so he could see this part of me as well.</p>
<p>“I’ve dreamt of this for over five years… I just… I can’t believe this is real,” he said quietly as he kicked off his boots and sat on the bed next to me.</p>
<p>I’d dreamt of it too, the only one who’d ever made me feel that way. The last thought in my head before I died and the first thought in my head when I awoke. “I have too,” I whispered.</p>
<p>He silenced any further words, my assurances that this was real, because I could not bear if it was not, with a kiss. And then those kisses were trailing their way down my neck, down my torso, lower. When he’d made his way to the apex of my thighs, sturdy hands gripped under my knees and spread my legs wide.</p>
<p>I waited for any sense of fear or vulnerability to creep in, exposed before someone as I’d never been before, but there was only the pounding in my core, begging for him to touch, taste, feel, take, take, take. “Please,” I breathed as he settled in with his head between my thighs.</p>
<p>It was all the permission that he needed. I gasped as his tongue slid up my center and my blood turned to fire in my veins. As he feasted on me, everything else began to fade. Who I was, how I’d gotten here, the war that would be awaiting us in the morning--there was only him and the fire rising and building within me, burning almost painfully as it raged and writhed under my skin.</p>
<p>A moan broke from me as his mouth closed over the bundle of nerves and his finger slid inside of me. That fire built and built as he slipped a second finger in, pumping in and out of me as his tongue massaged that sensitive spot. And then when the fire had reached a roaring blaze that I was sure would incinerate everything in its path and devour me whole, it scorched through me as I cried out his name, leaving cinders in its wake.</p>
<p>When Dimitri sat up, his cheeks were flushed and he was wearing a smile I’d never seen before. And then I watched as he took the fingers he’d had inside of me and placed them in his mouth, sucking them clean. The sight threatened to set my blood on fire again.</p>
<p>I took a moment to piece myself back together in the wake of the pleasure he’d wrung from me before I sat up and reached for his pants. My own cheeks felt as hot as his looked as I undid the buttons. But he did not pull away, instead he pulled his pants and undergarment off the rest of the way and tossed them to the floor.</p>
<p>His legs were just as scarred as the rest of him. Every inch of skin a constant reminder of the pain he must have experienced in the last five years. My focus was drawn to something else--a piece of him free of scars, with soft, velvety skin. But that part of him was hard like thick steel and he shuddered as I ran my hand down the length of him.</p>
<p>I started to close my hand around him.</p>
<p>“Wait.”</p>
<p>I looked up at him, about to ask what was wrong, when he slowly reached up to his head, to the last piece of clothing that remained between us, and hesitantly removed his eyepatch.</p>
<p>A scar ran down the middle of his eyelid, from his eyebrow to his cheekbone, and where his other eye had been, the ruined remains stared back at me.</p>
<p>A lump lodged itself in my throat as I beheld the display of vulnerability, as I beheld another fragment of his agony. And with it, white-hot anger boiled through as I remembered Cornelia’s words, at the thought of her taking that eye with the dagger I’d given him. And as I remembered what it had felt like for an arrow to fly into my own eye, I found myself wishing that I had wound back the clock over and over, taking my time killing her, and even then, it wouldn’t have been punishment enough for what she had done.</p>
<p>He turned away and started reaching to put the patch back on. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.</p>
<p>I caught his hands, cursing myself for my silence, for making him think that he might have anything to be ashamed of. “Someday, when you feel ready, I want you to tell me everything. I want to share your wounds.” Even I could not wind the hands of time back far enough to fix what had been done to him, but I could be there for him now.</p>
<p>I rose to my knees on the bed, took his face in my hands, and gently kissed around the place where his eye had once been. His arms wrapped tightly around me.</p>
<p>“And I want you to know that I see you, Dimitri. I see every part of you, and there is not a single part that I do not love with everything that I am.”</p>
<p>He pulled back to stare at me. “You… love me?”</p>
<p>My heart ached at the hesitation in his tone, like he couldn’t believe my words. But they were true. I loved the compassionate prince, the Savior King. And if he thought himself a monster, then I loved that monster too. The only person capable of truly seeing all of me, of accepting all of me.</p>
<p>“I love you, Dimitri,” I assured him. “I have for a long time.” Maybe from the moment I’d met him.</p>
<p>He surged forward and caught me in a desperate kiss. “I love you, Byleth,” he said against my lips. “I have for so long. From the moment you smiled for me.”</p>
<p>I smiled against his lips then before he drew back and took a shaky breath. “Every night after you disappeared, I would watch the sky, praying to the goddess that somehow you would cut a hole in the damn world again and come back to me. I begged over and over for you to come back. And you did… The one who guided me so kindly. My ally through all, even as I pushed you away… My beloved.”</p>
<p>We held each other tightly for a long moment, right where we belonged, in each other’s arms. He finally drew back and met my gaze. Then gently laid me back down on the bed and settled himself over me. “I think… this might hurt, at first,” he said, a hint of nervousness in his tone.</p>
<p>“I know. It’s okay.” I’d selfishly wanted to take all of him, but he was going to give it to me willingly instead. And I could deal with a moment of pain to get him in return. To finally make him mine, to become his.</p>
<p>He used his hand to guide himself in and then brought it up to hold my own tightly. He groaned as he slowly pushed in.</p>
<p>I gasped as he filled me, filling me to the point where there was no more that I could take. He looked at me for confirmation and I managed a nod. He pushed further and I winced as a sharp pain shot through my core and something deep within me ripped, a final barrier between us being torn down.</p>
<p>“I’m okay,” I assured him as I felt him freeze.</p>
<p>“Tell me when you’re ready,” he whispered. He pressed a soft kiss to my temple, staying perfectly still within me. His thumb gently caressed the back of my hand while he waited. “Your hands… Holding them within my own, I see how small and fragile they are. These hands that have saved me countless times… Thank you, my beloved.” He kissed my temple, my cheek, my lips.</p>
<p>The pain subsided as his words settled in and warmed me to my core. “I’m ready, Dimitri.”</p>
<p>He nodded, but I saw his hesitation. Hesitation that brought to mind his words from long ago, words about breaking things that are precious. And I finally believed that he had meant me.</p>
<p>I gave his hand still holding mine a gentle squeeze. “You will not break me.”</p>
<p>It was enough to reassure him, because he started moving then, slowly thrusting in and out of me, a loud groan leaving his lips.</p>
<p>That fire was building within me again, rising and growing with each plunge he made into my body. I started to moan, but he caught the sound in a fierce kiss.</p>
<p>He finally drew back and brought his mouth to my breast, closing his lips around the stiff nipple as I wrapped my legs around his waist, trapping him against me.</p>
<p>As he sucked, he began to move faster, bracing a hand against the thick wooden headboard of the bed.</p>
<p>Sparks crackled through my blood as lightning raced through my veins with my building pleasure.</p>
<p>“Byleth,” he breathed my name like a plea.</p>
<p>And I was undone by it. I cried out his name as the tension ratcheting up in my body shattered through me and released. A boom sounded as lightning shot through the clear night sky, illuminating the room in a brief flash of light.</p>
<p>And just as I’d found my pleasure, he reached his own climax, shouting my name as he spilled himself inside me. An audible snap sounded behind us as the headboard he’d been bracing himself against cracked down the middle.</p>
<p>We lay against each other breathless. Tangled together, unable to tell where one of us stopped and the other began, just how there was a part of me that was both the Beginning and the End, and just how we were two halves of a whole. Meant to be.</p>
<p>“I love you,” he whispered and kissed me softly.</p>
<p>“I love you, Dimitri,” I breathed against his lips.</p>
<p>When he pulled back, his cheeks were flushed. “I’ll try not to destroy furniture every time we do this,” he said sheepishly.</p>
<p>“And I’ll try--”</p>
<p>“No,” he cut me off with a grin. “I don’t mind if you summon lightning from the sky each time.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t… scare you?” I asked quietly, looking away. I knew Gilbert had been afraid when I first unleashed that power while defending Garreg Mach. And Dimitri himself had commented on the goddess’ wrath, <i>my</i> wrath when I channeled the flames in Ailell.</p>
<p>He took my chin and tilted it up, forcing me to look at him. “I am enthralled by you. The only thing that frightens me is that you might finally realize how monstrous I am and leave my side.”</p>
<p>I shook my head at him. “You still think you’re a monster? I told you, <i>I</i> am one. I don’t even have a heartbeat!” The panicked words flew from me before I could stop them. I grabbed his hand and placed it over my chest so he could feel the absence where life should have been, a walking corpse. I waited for him to jerk his hand back, to push me away in fear or disgust.</p>
<p>Instead, he pressed his palm tenderly against my unmoving heart. “I know. I’ve known for a long time.”</p>
<p>I froze, my eyes wide, waiting for him to explain.</p>
<p>“You collapsed after killing Solon,” he began. “I… I carried you back to the monastery myself. I was terrified that you had died, so I checked for your heartbeat. You can… imagine my panic when I heard nothing. But you were still breathing. And I realized that was the only thing that mattered.” He took my hand in his free hand and pressed my palm to his own chest. “It doesn’t make you a monster, and even if you do not have your own, my heart beats for you.”</p>
<p>And he was right, beneath my fingers, there was the same steady rhythm, the first heartbeat I’d ever heard. His heart would beat for me, and I would live for him. I leaned in and kissed him softly before he pulled me close against him, his fingers moving to softly trace the scars across my back, just as I absently traced the scars across his chest. The same.</p>
<p>“I wish we had more time,” he said quietly, breaking the silence. “I want to show you all of Fhirdiad.”</p>
<p>“We will have time, after we win this war,” I assured him. “We’ll win, and then I want you to show me the whole Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“Yes, my beloved, I’ll show it all to you.”</p>
<p>To see the birthplace of my father, the land of my king, and the home of the man I loved. The man who loved me, too.</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>Byleth was gone from his room by the time he made it back. Back from the conversation that he needed to have in private, one last conversation with the dead. To tell them that he would live for them no longer. He would live for himself, and he would willingly face the vitriol of the dead to live for her.</p>
<p>He had also stopped in the cathedral to fetch the blanket she slept in, preparation for a conversation that scared him even more than the one he’d had with the dead. He left the blanket in his room before he retrieved his cloak from where Byleth had no doubt hung it back up and then left to find her. To find his friends, everyone who had stood by him. And to take the first step towards doing the right thing.</p>
<p>A flustered soldier pointed him in the direction of the cardinal’s room where Gilbert had apparently called a war council. He took a deep breath outside the door, bracing himself as the dead hissed in his ears, and then he entered the room.</p>
<p>Everyone turned to look at him, including Byleth.</p>
<p>Dedue broke the silence first. “Your Highness! You should be resting. Your wounds are still healing…”</p>
<p>It would be more accurate to say that his wound had been festering, until the night before. Until Byleth had performed another miracle and drawn out the hurt with nothing but her touch. And it was her that he looked at as he shook his head. “I am well, I assure you. More importantly… May I have a moment of your time?”</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” He hadn’t really expected her to refuse, not after everything she had done for him during the night, but relief still flooded through him. Along with a hint of fear as he steeled himself to face his own actions, to face the monster. “I wish to apologize. To all of you. I have led you down this dark path with me, and have caused so much suffering along the way… I cannot tell you how sorry I am for my behavior. There is no apology I could offer that would be sufficient.”</p>
<p>Felix let out a growl. “And how do you intend to make up for my father’s death?”</p>
<p><i>You caused my father’s death, and now you intend to abandon us,</i> Glenn hissed in his ear.</p>
<p>Dimitri was certain there was nothing he could ever do to make up for it. Nothing he could do to atone for his many sins, of which Rodrigue’s death was just one of the latest. But despite that, he wanted to try. “Felix… I realize words alone are not enough to repent, but I fear they are all I have.”</p>
<p>“I’m not after more empty words. I want you to speak through your actions,” Felix responded with a glare.</p>
<p>
  <i>takeherheadtakeherheadtakeherhead…</i>
</p>
<p>There were no actions that could bring back the dead, even as they made their demands. “I know that no amount of regret can ever bring back the lives we have lost. I… I know that well.” No amount of regret had brought any of his loved ones back to him. Byleth and Dedue had returned, but it was in spite of his actions, not because of them.</p>
<p>He continued, “It is like patching up a tear with a different material. Things can never be as they were. The best I can hope for is to make things whole again.” Things would never be as they were, he knew that the monster that had been born from and nurtured by his rage would always be there, lurking under his skin. But he wanted to be more than just that monster.</p>
<p>“I wish to do the right thing from now on. That is why I have made a decision…” He looked at each of his friends before finally focusing on Byleth. Focusing on the person that he wanted to atone for, to stand a chance of being at her side. “I intend to take back the Kingdom capital. I wish to save our people, those who I turned my back on for far too long. To follow my heart and do the right thing… That is the only way I can atone for my sins.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness…” Gilbert began before letting out a small cough. “If we win back Fhirdiad, it will give us the advantage in our war against the Empire. As one who has served the royal family for ages, know that your words bring me great joy. And pride. That said, I must point out that if we make for Fhirdiad, the emperor’s head will slip further out of reach. Can you live with that?”</p>
<p>
  <i>TAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEADTAKEHERHEAD…</i>
</p>
<p>The chorus of the dead grew louder, more insistent. But he was bound to them no longer, even if they continued to haunt him for the rest of his days. “I still hold hatred in my heart for her and for the ones responsible for the tragedy… That, I will carry with me until death. But… my life is my own. It belongs to no one else, and it is high time that I started living for what I believe in.”</p>
<p>He couldn’t help himself as he looked at Byleth and felt a small smile creep across his lips. As he looked at the only other person that perhaps his life could belong to, the one that he would choose for his life to belong to. “I will no longer allow the voices of the dead to bind me. This is something that I must do… No. Something that I am <i>choosing</i> to do. I will accomplish my aim, even if it means risking my life to do so.”</p>
<p>“Understood, Your Highness,” Gilbert said with a nod before looking to Byleth. “So? Any objections?”</p>
<p>Byleth met his gaze as she responded, “Count me in.” And then she finally smiled. A full smile. And it was downright mesmerizing.</p>
<p>Seteth nodded. “You are correct. We cannot afford to die in vain by recklessly challenging the Empire.”</p>
<p>Mercedes paused thoughtfully. “I’m worried about Lady Rhea… but if this is the choice you’ve made, I support it.”</p>
<p>“I am at your command, Your Highness. I will follow you anywhere,” Dedue assured him.</p>
<p>Ashe responded earnestly, “My sword is at your service, Your Highness.”</p>
<p>“I’ll help too! The people of Fhirdiad need us!” Annette chimed in.</p>
<p>“Fine. I’ll help you… in my father’s stead. But in return, you must win. You know that, don’t you… Dimitri?” Felix asked sternly.</p>
<p>And it was the first time he’d heard his name from his old friend since that day five years ago, when Felix had come to warn him that Byleth was in danger. Because despite everything, despite how monstrous he was, even Felix was still his friend, they were all still his dear friends.</p>
<p>“I do,” he responded with a nod. “And I swear on my father’s lance that we will prevail.”</p>
<p>“Then it is decided,” Gilbert said ardently. “It seems this war council has much to discuss. Our next stop is Fhirdiad, the Kingdom capital. For the future of Faerghus!</p><hr/>
<p>At the end of a busy day where Dimitri threw himself into preparations with a new fervor, he went to the cathedral as he had done every night since returning, to wait for Byleth as he always did since she had begun to sleep there. But tonight would be different.</p>
<p>He grew more nervous as he waited, more worried that perhaps she had changed her mind, that perhaps she had gone back to her room for the night. But then she appeared, and his relief brought a smile to his face.</p>
<p>“I thought you might come here.” The first part was an apology. He’d apologized to his friends, but he knew that he had wounded her far worse. He let out a small sigh. “I really caused trouble for you, didn’t I… I am so sorry. Truly.”</p>
<p>He stared at her, at the one who had saved him, saved him the first day they’d met and every day she’d been in his life since. “I am also… eternally grateful to you. We are now preparing to go to the Kingdom capital. I hope that you will lend me your strength once again.”</p>
<p>Her response was simple, one word. One word that held the weight of a thousand words. “Always.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, truly.” He did not have words for his gratitude, the ineffable way that she made him feel. But he could at least try to make her more comfortable. He took a deep breath and then went as he’d practiced, “I have a proposition, Byleth… Why don’t we use my room, instead of the cathedral? Just to sleep, of course. It will just be far more comfortable for you than a wooden bench.”</p>
<p>She’d already been in his room the night before, so it would hopefully not seem too strange. And even though he still wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, to relive the night he’d horribly used her, to claim her completely for himself, he meant it when he said that it would be just to sleep. He would restrain himself; he would take nothing more than what she freely offered.</p>
<p>She didn’t say anything, but she nodded.</p>
<p>He hadn’t even realized that he’d been holding his breath as he waited for an answer until he finally let it out. “Well then, shall we?”</p>
<p>She nodded again. Neither of them spoke as they walked to his room. As he fought the urge to reach for her hand, to have her lead him there as she had the night before.</p>
<p>When they reached his room, she immediately started moving towards the spot he’d prepared on the floor, where he had left the blanket he’d retrieved earlier. “That’s for me,” Dimitri said, shaking his head. “You should take the bed.”</p>
<p>“Dimitri, that’s not--”</p>
<p>The whole point of his idea had been to find a solution where she could still feel safe to sleep without being forced to lay on a pew in the drafty cathedral. If she had accepted his proposition, then she had to accept the whole proposition. “I insist. You take the bed, Byleth.”</p>
<p>To his immense relief, she did not argue the point any further. She sat on the bed, and he did his best not to watch, trying to focus on his own armor, as she removed her armor and her boots. He did his best not to imagine what it would be like to go over to her, to press his lips to hers, to slide his hands under her shirt, down her shorts. What it would be like to finally slide that lace down her legs.</p>
<p>His cock pressed demandingly against his pants, and he quickly spread his cloak on the ground and laid on the floor, rushing to cover himself with the blanket before Byleth noticed the desire that he could not hide. And wrapped in her blanket, drenched in her scent, it was worse.</p>
<p>He hadn’t thought this through at all. He’d underestimated the strength of her presence, her closeness, even knowing how enraptured he was with her. And now he had to lay beside her, painfully stiff, trapped in her fragrance, and unable to even shamefully take matters into his own hands as he had done so many times thinking of her, not with her in the room.</p>
<p>Byleth turned onto her side to face him, her green eyes luminescent in the candlelight. “How is your wound?”</p>
<p>“It’s much better, thanks to you.” He almost wished that the wound still ached, so he could focus on something that wasn’t the need throbbing in his cock. But her words worked almost as well. A reminder of how even if they were the same, she had tamed her demon while he’d let his monster run wild, a reminder that he had undoubtedly deserved the wound he’d received, deserved far worse. “I have taken so many lives… and with each one, I face hatred. During the last five years especially. My life was not so different from that of a wild beast… And that young girl… Her eyes were filled with revenge… just as mine were. Her brother… At some point, I must have… That is why I thought it only natural that someone would retaliate someday. Because I hated, because I stole, and… because I killed.”</p>
<p>“<i>I</i> killed her brother.”</p>
<p>Byleth’s words had Dimitri snapping his head back to stare at her, to stare into her eyes that were filled with fear. “What?” He'd heard the girl scream the word <i>murderer</i> after Byleth had tackled her, but he hadn't realized she was screaming the word <i>at</i> Byleth.</p>
<p>“I’m the one who killed her brother. Her brother was the general who led the Imperial force against the monastery… It’s my fault that Rodrigue is dead,” she said softly, the quiet that meant concern, the quiet that meant she was upset.</p>
<p>He narrowed his eye at her as he remembered. The general that had targeted her, the general that Dimitri had intended to torture. The general that she had killed… because she was kind. To spare the general from the monstrous side of him. And she was actually blaming herself for his depravity. “Don’t <i>ever</i> blame yourself for that. You drew your blade with the best of intentions.”</p>
<p>But even with the best of intentions, sometimes death was inevitable. The battlefield was too often kill or be killed, will clashing against will. “Even now, we will be heading for the Kingdom with good intentions, but we will undoubtedly have to take many more lives. I suppose this is yet another thing we will just have to live with,” he lamented.</p>
<p>“I feel the same way,” she murmured.</p>
<p><i>That is the reality of war.</i> Words she’d given him years ago, when he was still just a beast, not yet the murderous monster. A lesson that he’d come to understand. “Yes… As one who chose to fight, it is my responsibility to confront the anguish, and the true nature of war… Until the day my life comes to an end.”</p>
<p>She dangled her arm off the bed, reaching out and taking his hand in her own. “We can confront it together,” she assured him.</p>
<p>No words existed that could express the way that he loved her. The way that his heart ached with it as he looked at her. Always, always by his side. “Thank you…”</p>
<p>And then he blew out the candle, because if he kept looking at her, at the way the candlelight gave her a gentle glow, at the adoration in her gaze, he would not be able to control himself. But he kept a hold of her hand, and she did not try to pull away.</p>
<p>“You know, Byleth… There is something that I only recently realized. I never knew it could be so… comforting to have someone by my side…”</p>
<p>Even if she never ended up loving him the way he loved her, even if he never became deserving of her, she would always be his dearest friend, and he would treasure every moment he had with her.</p><hr/>
<p>Any time that was not spent preparing for their departure for Fhirdiad, Dimitri spent training.</p>
<p>And it was while he was training one evening that he was joined by Felix, who fixed him with a sharp glare as he drew his blade. “I have a question for you. Answer quickly before my hand slips and I cut you in half.”</p>
<p><i>My brother would not have failed us like you have,</i> Glenn whispered.</p>
<p>Dimitri lowered his practice lance, doing his best to ignore Felix’s brother. “Always so ominous. Well? What is it, Felix?”</p>
<p>Felix lowered his own blade as he spoke, “Sometimes you have an animal’s face, contorted with anger and bloodlust. At other times, a man’s, with a friendly smile. Which is your true face?”</p>
<p>“Do not waste your breath on questions with such obvious answers. They are both the real me.”</p>
<p>And Byleth was the same, always the same. Because he had seen her rage, he had seen her burn a man alive, grinning wildly. But he had also seen her smile, and felt her warmth. She gave him hope that perhaps the man could coexist with the monster inside of him.</p>
<p>He continued, “My father, my friends, Glenn… they all meant a great deal to me. And they were all brutally slaughtered. I alone survived.”</p>
<p>Felix let out a sharp laugh. “So, that’s how you justify your atrocities.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“’I will fulfill my duty to the late king.’ My old man used to say that over and over, like a mantra.” Felix frowned. “No one seems to understand. The dead won’t acknowledge your loyalty. They don’t care. What a load of bunk it is, pretending to serve a corpse. You’re serving your own ego.”</p>
<p>“You are wrong.” Even if Dimitri was choosing to live for himself, to make his own choices, he knew well the cost of that. He knew well how it upset the dead.</p>
<p>“No, I’m not,” Felix countered sharply. “The dead are dead, the living are living. You have to respect that boundary. If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you’ll snap.”</p>
<p>He’d already come dangerously close to snapping, pieced back together by Byleth’s hands. But the dead continued to chant in his ears, and he would carry that burden forever, because the dead did not respect that boundary. “Even still… I cannot forget them, nor can I let them go.”</p>
<p>“Then keep those thoughts to yourself. If you’re too weak to do that, abandon your throne. Become a grave keeper.”</p>
<p>The words struck something deep within Dimitri, as he thought of what had finally given him the resolve to take his throne, to accept the crown. And as all things seemed to, it led back to Byleth. “Felix…” Dimitri began, intending to express his gratitude. His gratitude for the reminder of his resolve.</p>
<p>“I’m not immune to emotion, you know,” Felix said, cutting him off. “Far from it. I haven’t gone a day without questioning why my father and brother had to die, while I survived. I’ll bear this pain until the day I die, but I refuse to wallow in it. I have more important things to do than blubber for my whole life.”</p>
<p>Dimitri couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped out. “You know, Felix, you really are growing more and more like your brother. Always so sarcastic, and constantly looking for a fight. But deep inside, more than anyone, you--”</p>
<p>“What are you getting at?” Felix demanded, cutting him off again.</p>
<p>“Oh… It’s nothing,” Dimitri lied, accepting that he’d gotten what he would from Felix. A reminder not just of his own resolve, but a reminder that he was not alone. “But allow me to thank you. Your perspective has opened my eyes.”</p>
<p>Felix grunted. “Not my intention. I couldn’t stand the pathetic look on your face. That’s all.”</p>
<p>“I see. If you say so, then we will leave it at that,” Dimitri responded, moving to place his practice lance back in the rack. It was getting late, and Byleth was certain to be waiting for him, and he was eager to see her, to see the light that he was fighting for.</p><hr/>
<p>In anticipation of the arrival of the Kingdom’s army, of his army, it seemed that the populace of Fhirdiad had begun to rebel against Cornelia’s tyranny. And his return to Fhirdiad now was a far cry from what it had been five years ago when he’d been imprisoned.</p>
<p>Some things were the same--his intent to claim his throne, to fight back against the Empire. But many things were different--his goal was to prevent the suffering of his people, to crush Cornelia, and Byleth was at his side.</p>
<p>Byleth, who allowed him to pull her to a side street while they waited for the scouts. “Fhirdiad… It has been a lifetime since I was last here. Five years ago, in fact,” he told her. “On the day before my execution, when Dedue helped me escape from prison. I killed soldiers from my homeland, stole weapons from their corpses, and made my escape, soaked in their blood… To think this is how I would return to the city of my birth, after all that has happened…”</p>
<p>She took his hand, twining her fingers through his and squeezing. “I am proud of you.”</p>
<p>He wanted nothing more than to be deserving of that adoration, that praise. But he was not. “I do not deserve that. If not for you or Rodrigue, I would still be lost…” But while he was not deserving of it now, he would try, and even if he never reached that summit, he would at least fight to get closer. “I am glad to have you at my side. From the bottom of my heart… I am forever grateful.”</p>
<p>He looked into those spring green eyes, eyes that it was difficult to imagine as empty and hollow now. “Let’s win this, Byleth. Let’s all make it out and celebrate our victory.”</p>
<p>Gilbert’s arrival had Dimitri dropping Byleth’s hand and turning to face the man as he reported, “Your Highness. The path to the castle has been cleared. We are making preparations to advance. Say the word, and we march.”</p>
<p>The path to <i>his</i> castle, to <i>his</i> throne, to fighting for what he believed in. He looked to Byleth.</p>
<p>She nodded. “Give the order.”</p>
<p>“Yes… Let us begin,” he complied.</p>
<p>He followed Gilbert back to their troops, everyone who was fighting for something important. His friends. His kinsmen. His people. And at his side, his savior. “Everyone! Listen well! This battle is for all that the Empire stole from us! It is a fight to reclaim the days of peace we once enjoyed. I give you but two commands--stay alive, and follow your heart. That is all I ask. The gates to the Kingdom capital are open. Join me! It is time to take back our home!”</p>
<p>Determined shouts erupted from the soldiers before him, and it was different than the usual chorus of the dead that he had grown so used to. It was a chorus that inspired hope.</p><hr/>
<p>He made it to Cornelia, with Byleth at his side, fighting not at his back as she had once done, but covering his right side, watching the side that he could not see. And she’d displayed her power once again when she’d unleashed the Sword of the Creator on the Titanus, clearing their path, while his friends ensured that they were free to advance.</p>
<p>To advance to the witch. It had no doubt been her who murdered his uncle, who set him up to take the fall. But he had far more to punish her for.</p>
<p>“My, it’s been a long time, hasn’t it, Your Highness?” Cornelia greeted him. “You’ve grown awfully strong.” She glanced at Byleth. “And your dear professor even survived her tumble somehow.”</p>
<p>Dimitri grit his teeth as he recalled Cornelia telling him Byleth was dead. As he recalled Cornelia’s filthy fingers on <i>his</i> dagger, his gift from Byleth, his treasured weapon. As he recalled that dagger plunging into his eye.</p>
<p>Cornelia’s filthy fingers traced over the dagger again, still at her hip. “Oh my, are you still upset about this? I have no intention of giving it back. But it’s so kind of you to go to the trouble of coming all the way here… Now shall I take your other eye?” She pulled the blade out, the sapphire in the silver flashing as it caught the light.</p>
<p>He saw Byleth look at him from the corner of his remaining eye, and from the look on her face, he knew that she understood. He knew that she recognized that dagger too.</p>
<p>And staring at Cornelia, holding that dagger, recalling her words about Byleth, recalling the way he’d desired to tear her heart out, he bellowed, “I’ll kill you, you monster! You will pay for all that you have done!”</p>
<p>He may have been a monster himself, but Cornelia was without a doubt a monster far worse. He lunged forward as Cornelia threw her empty hand out, sending a blast of dark miasma at him. But Byleth’s blade was already swinging out, slicing through the darkness once again, as if she had anticipated where the attack would be coming from.</p>
<p>And with no magic in his way, Dimitri was able to surge forward and plunge his lance through Cornelia’s abdomen.</p>
<p>“It’s over, Cornelia,” he growled as he withdrew his father’s lance. “If you have any last words, now is the time.”</p>
<p>Cornelia coughed, spitting up blood. “Right you are. I’ll give you a little gift… I have an old tale that I would like you to hear, if I may. About something that happened ten years ago…”</p>
<p>Dimitri froze. Ten years ago. That day.</p>
<p>Cornelia’s lips widened into a grin. “Something Patricia said about how she wished to see her real daughter again, no matter who or what she had to sacrifice to do so… And about how I made her wish come true, at the cost of the king’s head…”</p>
<p>“The king’s head? You mean Duscur… You monster! You mean to say that my father… everyone… was killed by my stepmother?!” he questioned incredulously.</p>
<p>“That’s right,” Cornelia affirmed. “Her family meant everything to her… You certainly know that feeling, do you not? Ah, poor little prince. Unloved by the only mother he ever knew… How pitiful.”</p>
<p>It was an effort not to lunge out and crush her skull. “How dare you!” The ghost of his stepmother said nothing as she watched the exchange. She rarely had anything to say.</p>
<p>A cruel laugh broke from Cornelia, but it was strained as she neared the end of her life. “There’s nothing left for you now… Nothing but despair.”</p>
<p>The monster was wishing that he had not allowed her the chance to speak, that he had torn her apart, that he had taken his dagger back and taken out her eye with it. He wanted to make her suffer. But there was no force in the world that could wind back the clock and allow him to kill her again.</p>
<p>He knelt down, prying the treasure from her hands before tearing the belt to take the sheath. His most treasured possession. A reminder that he and Byleth were the same, a reminder that perhaps she was not as far out of his reach as she often felt.</p>
<p>He stared at her as he looped the sheath onto his belt, placing the blade back in it. Reclaiming the things that he had lost five years ago--both the dagger and Byleth herself. Byleth, who was watching him with that same look she always did…</p>
<p>He opened his mouth, to say something foolish. To tell her that he loved her. To tell her that he had always loved her, to ask her to stay by his side, just as his dagger now was, but Gilbert arrived, and Dimitri was spared from himself.</p><hr/>
<p>Dedue, Gilbert, and of course Byleth, followed Dimitri into the castle following the battle.</p>
<p>“Try as that woman might to spout nonsense to her very last, nothing could change the fact that she was an enemy to the Kingdom. She sold out Faerghus to the Empire, forcing our people to suffer their tyranny… But all of that ends today. No more blood will needlessly be spilled. Now that Cornelia has fallen, we will exert pressure on the nobles who were aligned with her,” Dimitri reflected to the group.</p>
<p>Cornelia he would’ve gladly slain again and again, but if they could pull the nobles of the so-called Dukedom back into the Kingdom, stability in those regions could be preserved. Even as the monster strained against him, echoing the demands of the dead to kill them all.</p>
<p>He turned to look at Dedue as Cornelia’s last words lingered, as the implication that his stepmother had been the cause of everyone’s deaths hung over him. “Perhaps we may yet find a connection to the tragic incident in Duscur. Once we do that, we will finally be able to prove the innocence of its people.”</p>
<p>Dedue smiled, a rare sight. “Your Highness… I am certain that would make those who lost their lives that day very happy. I am grateful. And I am proud to serve a man such as you.”</p>
<p>Dedue and Byleth both, the two closest people to him, had told him they were proud. He still did not believe he deserved that praise, but he felt closer to it than he had been. Taking small steps towards atonement.</p>
<p>“Come, Your Highness,” Gilbert said, motioning towards the door leading to the balcony. “You still have some responsibilities that must be carried out. Your people have been patiently awaiting your return.”</p>
<p>“Do you mean…” His people that he had abandoned. Even if he had slain Cornelia, even if he was attempting to atone, he was still monstrous, he had still taken countless lives in horrific ways. “No. I can’t bear to face them after all that I--”</p>
<p>Byleth’s voice cut him off, “You must face them.”</p>
<p>And when he looked at her, he found his resolve again. To face the monster he had become, to face the things he had done, and to strive to move past them. To become a king. “Byleth… Right you are, as ever. I am their king, after all…”</p>
<p>Gilbert started to lead him away, but he stopped as Byleth remained where she was. He could face them, but only if she was at his side. “Come with me?”</p>
<p>She nodded, and he aimed to hold his head high as he walked out onto the balcony. Gilbert and Byleth stood back from him, and when he reached the railing, he was greeted with a mass of people cheering below. His people.</p>
<p>“What… what is this?” he asked in disbelief.</p>
<p>Gilbert replied ardently, “As you can see, the people are rejoicing at the return of their king.”</p>
<p>But he had abandoned them, chasing vengeance for the dead. “Even though I turned my back on them, and fled the Kingdom in disgrace…”</p>
<p>“Even so… the spectacle before you does not lie,” Gilbert assured him. “We are a Kingdom in need of a king. A hero to save the people from their long oppression. Your Highness… It is truly a blessing that you have returned.”</p>
<p>Tears were slipping down his cheeks as he beheld the spectacle, as he wondered if his people could accept the unacceptable thing within him. “Do I really have the right to stand here? Will they accept me as their king? Bloodstained as I am… Am I fit to be king?”</p>
<p>“Don’t cry, Dimitri,” Byleth responded soothingly. “This is a happy time.”</p>
<p>He turned to look at her, to find tears streaking down her own face, her cheeks flushed, as she once again shed tears for him. But even as she cried, she wore that warm smile that had torn down every wall he’d ever built around himself. That smile that had empowered him to get to this point.</p>
<p>“These are happy tears, my friend,” he promised her, his dearest friend, before turning to look back at his people. “I am finally home again… Faerghus… How I missed you…”</p><hr/>
<p>Everyone was enjoying the celebration, including Byleth, who Dimitri had spied eagerly feasting on the various dishes that had been prepared. And his people. His people flocked in, eager to see him. They were calling him the Savior King, not understanding that he had his own savior.</p>
<p>But he had other matters to attend to, something he had to do since he’d reclaimed the city of his birth. And once again, the time he’d spent in the slums paid off, making it possible for him to slip out into the castle grounds.</p>
<p>He stopped in the greenhouse, relieved to find that it had been maintained. Cornelia may have let things fall to ruin for the populace, but she did not neglect her own extravagance. Extravagance that had allowed the massive feast to be prepared, enough food that the doors could be opened to all of the city, because Dimitri knew well what it was like to go hungry.</p>
<p>He stopped when his eye fell on the same flowers that had been catching his eye for the last five years. The flowers that he had first gotten for Byleth. And it was those flowers that he retrieved from the greenhouse, and it was those flowers that he left on the graves of his family and friends.</p>
<p>And it was one of those flowers that he made his way back to the castle with. He slowly made his way across the battlements, in the direction of the feast where he could hopefully find her in the crowd, beginning his search at the spread of food.</p>
<p>But he did not need to go search for her. Because she was already there, standing atop the battlements, looking out across the city, holding herself to keep warm. It was an effort to not go wrap his cloak around her, to not go wrap himself around her. But he had resolved to not take any more than what she was willing to give.</p>
<p>He greeted her as he drew up behind her, “It may be spring, but the nights are quite chilly here in Fhirdiad.”</p>
<p>She turned to look at him, wearing that radiant smile that he’d fallen for. That radiant smile that was somehow taming the monster within him, because it was both the man and the monster that loved her.</p>
<p>He continued, “Still, our celebratory feast shows no signs of stopping. Have you grown weary of the festivities?” He opted not to ask her if she’d already eaten her fill--he wasn’t sure if she was capable of being satiated.</p>
<p>“I have,” she responded.</p>
<p>He found himself laughing quietly. He shouldn’t have been surprised to find her slipping out. She had done the same on the first night he’d almost kissed her. And again the night he’d danced with her. “If memory serves, you were the same at the ball, all those years ago.”</p>
<p>“I was going to ask you the same,” she countered.</p>
<p>“It’s not that I have grown weary… more that I find it difficult to be around everyone at the moment,” he admitted with a shake of his head. “I have just returned from visiting the graves of my loved ones. It had been a long while since I left flowers. I was always terribly afraid of going there… But I could not stay away forever.”</p>
<p>He brought his gaze to hers, the one who had given him the courage to finally face the dead. And he willed his courage to prevail as he leaned forward and placed the flower behind her ear. And the beauty of the blossoms paled next to her. “You know, you have taught me something important, Byleth.”</p>
<p>“Swordsmanship?”</p>
<p>“That too, of course.” She’d certainly taught him that. He’d learned many things from her, and he was certain that he would never forget the sight of her adjusting the young orphan boy’s grip, the sight of her ruffling the boy’s hair approvingly.</p>
<p>“But what I am referring to is far more valuable. How should I put this… Perhaps it is most accurate to say that… you taught me how to live.” Without her at his side, he would’ve continued living for the dead, and he would’ve perished for them too. “If you and I had not reunited on that fateful day, I am certain I would have died a fruitless death on the battlefield. I would have foolishly challenged a horde of foes, and, in doing so, needlessly sacrificed the lives of my friends and myself. But now, I have returned to my rightful place. I struggle with what to say, when I know well that words are not enough to express my gratitude. You saved me from the darkness… and guided me back to the light. Thank you, Byleth. With all that I am, I thank you.”</p>
<p>Flowers would not be enough to thank her. His words would not be enough to thank her. He could endeavor his entire life to thank her and it would never be enough.</p>
<p>“Do you still wish for revenge?” she asked softly.</p>
<p>“Revenge was never something I wished for… It was an obligation I felt I had inherited from those who died. I believed my life belonged to those who lost their own in Duscur.” Even as he spoke, they chanted in his ears. But with her in his sight, it gave him the strength to carry on. “But what I now seek is something else entirely… I can say that with confidence.”</p>
<p>He sought to atone, to do the right thing, to become a good man, a good king, who might stand a chance of being at her side. Of being worthy of the love he harbored for her. Of maybe someday earning the right to hold her unbeating heart.</p>
<p>She looked at him, and it was that same look she always had. That look he had longed for. “You taught me how to live, too,” she murmured, as she continued to gaze at him as if… as if she might love him.</p>
<p>In the time that he’d known her, he had seen her come alive. He’d seen the glow of humanity spark in her eyes, those eyes that had once looked so hollow. He’d seen her smile, and he’d seen her tears.</p>
<p>And if that was truly possible… If she actually felt the same… He couldn’t stop himself from taking a step forward. “I don’t want to fight this anymore.” He didn’t know if he <i>could</i> fight it, not if she kept looking at him the way she was.</p>
<p>And as he stepped towards her, she stepped towards him, a star close enough that he could reach it, close enough that he could take her in his arms, pulling her close, tangling his fingers in her hair, and bringing his lips to hers.</p>
<p>The moment their lips met, he knew that all of his suffering had been worth it. The last five years, the last nine years, every life he’d seen lost and every life he’d taken… He would suffer it again and again and again if it meant that it would lead him back to this moment--to her. When he kissed her that time, it felt like coming home.</p>
<p>She did not fight. She leaned into him, her hand tenderly pressing against his chest, hovering over his heart. His heart that had always beat for her, from the moment he’d laid eyes on her, perhaps even before he’d known her.</p>
<p>It was agony to pull away from her when the sound of someone approaching interrupted them, but he forced himself to. He forced himself to release her and draw back, but he couldn’t contain the hungry way he looked at her.</p>
<p>“Your Highness!” the soldier responsible for the interruption greeted him. “I finally found you!”</p>
<p>He forced himself to look away from Byleth, to tear his gaze from her vibrant eyes, her soft lips. The only thing that gave him the willpower to do so was the reminder that if he wanted to even think of deserving those lips, he had to earn them, and he had duties to the living now. “Ah, I am sorry for slipping away. Has something happened?”</p>
<p>“An express messenger just arrived from the leader of the Alliance. Please return to the castle at once!” the soldier pleaded.</p>
<p>“An express messenger? What in the world could Claude be after? I am on my way,” he assured the soldier before looking back to her. “Byleth, please join me.” Because she was largely responsible for the army’s success, and because he didn’t think he would be able to force himself to actually leave her side.</p>
<p>He walked with Byleth through the castle as the soldier rushed off to let the messenger know that they were on their way. And back in the castle, the weight of his responsibilities was settling back in. “We must prepare for our battle with the Empire soon. To start, we must absorb the Kingdom knights taken by the Dukedom into our own forces and reshuffle our troops… The lords will need to help purge our territory of Imperial forces, and I will use my authority as king to gather forces from various regions… And we’ll have to ask the merchants to lend us the funds we require… Oh, and we must request delivery of supplies at once…”</p>
<p>“That sounds like a lot of work,” Byleth responded.</p>
<p>He glanced at her and couldn’t stop his smile. “I cannot handle all of this work myself, you know. I will be counting on you.” For she was not just the woman he loved, not just his dearest friend, but she’d been ceaseless in her efforts to help command and organize the war effort. From the moment she’d returned to him. “There is much to do, but it is all critical work if we hope to stand a chance against the Empire.”</p>
<p>Her voice was quiet when she spoke next, that quiet he knew, “You will soon face Edelgard.”</p>
<p>“Yes… I am well aware.” It was inevitable that his path would lead him back to his stepsister, to the confrontation that had driven him for the last five years. And that goal had not changed, not really. But the motives behind it had drifted. “Knowing her, I doubt there is a path that leads to our coexistence. I believe we have spoken of this before… Everyone has something they simply cannot accept. As for Edelgard, I am certain she will never be able to accept the Church of Seiros. I believe that is why she seeks to destroy it. She is looking to revolutionize the world. In her mind, for the better. But even if she manages to birth a new world… it would be at the cost of… I wish to end this war through acceptance, not annihilation. Just as my people accepted me, I wish dearly to accept her, despite how much hatred I still hold for her. But I fear--” He fell silent as they arrived where the messenger was waiting.</p><hr/>
<p>Claude was requesting aid, requesting help to fight against the Empire. And he would of course go to help, not because it was against the Empire, but because it was the right thing to do. It was what a good man would do. He turned to the soldier waiting with the messenger. “Go find Gilbert and deliver the same report to him. Tell him that we’ll hold council on it first thing in the morning.”</p>
<p>“You’re not going to call a council now?” Byleth questioned, having remained with him after the soldier and the messenger left.</p>
<p>“No,” he said with a sigh. “I imagine we’ll be marching for Derdriu tomorrow, so everyone should have tonight to enjoy the celebration.” They’d certainly earned it.</p>
<p>She watched him carefully as she asked, “Are you going to go back to the feast?”</p>
<p>He didn’t want to, now that he was alone with her again, he wished that he were out on the battlements again, with her in his arms. Or elsewhere, with her in his arms. But if she wanted to go back, he would go with her. “Do you want to go back?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t,” she said softly, staring up at him. Staring at him the way she’d stared at him outside. Staring at him in that way he could not resist.</p>
<p>“What do you want, Byleth?” he asked as he took a step forward, inclining his head towards her.</p>
<p>He knew what he wanted. But he couldn’t just keep taking from her with no regards for what she wanted.</p>
<p>He wanted to worship her, the goddess who had held out her hand to him and pulled him from the dark. The star that had fallen down to him to be his guiding light. His savior. And someone who was also wicked, someone who had the same violent inclinations, the same darkness, and could understand the monster he wrestled with and accept him anyway. He loved her, both her and her demon. And he desperately wanted her to love him, and his monster.</p>
<p>“I want… I want you to kiss me again,” she whispered.</p>
<p>He did not need to be asked twice. He cupped his hands tenderly on her cheeks, and then placed his lips on hers. Her lips parted against his, inviting his tongue in, and he dropped his hands from her face to pull her closer.</p>
<p>The sound of footsteps in the hallway outside had him reluctantly drawing back. But he was not about to allow this moment to be interrupted, not again. He took Byleth’s hand and wove through the hallways automatically, driven by memory. It was only when he was reaching for the door handle that he realized exactly where he had brought her, and exactly what his intention had been.</p>
<p>“Where are we?” she questioned.</p>
<p>“This… was my old bedroom,” he answered as he pulled his hand back from the door, a frown creasing his lips.</p>
<p>He’d restrained himself so far. Accepted the penance of having to lie in the same room as her while unable to join with her in the way he wanted, unable to feel her soft skin pressed against his own. His own, which was marred by countless scars. A reminder that they were perhaps not the same after all.</p>
<p>But that had been before she asked him to kiss her. Before she told him that he taught her to live, too. Before he had a glimmer of hope that she might truly want someone as vile as him. And he knew, if she went in the bedroom with him, his desire, desire which burned far hotter than the eternal flames that he would eventually end up in, would consume her.</p>
<p>“I… I don’t think you should sleep here tonight.” He forced the words out. Even though he wanted to drag her into the room with him and take her to bed but do very little sleeping.</p>
<p>“Dimitri, please,” she murmured.</p>
<p>She didn’t understand. She didn’t realize that he couldn’t be content to just lie on the floor next to her and hold her hand anymore. He couldn’t even be content just kissing her. If he got her alone, he would undoubtedly give into the craving that had been building for over five years. “I don’t think you understand what will happen if you come in this room with me.”</p>
<p>She looked at him defiantly. “What if I told you that I understand exactly what will happen if I stay with you tonight?”</p>
<p>He forgot how to breathe.</p>
<p>“Dimitri. Do you want this?”</p>
<p>He stared at her, stared at her as he remembered how to move air in and out of his lungs. Stared at her as he worked up the courage to be honest. “Yes. More than anything,” he murmured. “But what do <i>you</i> want, Byleth?” After all, that was the question that really mattered.</p>
<p>She did not break his gaze as she answered, “I want you.”</p>
<p>His heart skipped a beat. Or maybe it stopped. “Are you sure?”</p>
<p>She nodded, that blessed smile crossing her lips once more, and his heart started up again with it.</p>
<p>He reached for the door handle with one hand and took hers in the other. “If you… If you change your mind… tell me, and I will stop.” It would be agony to do so, but he would stop, for her.</p>
<p>Her hand squeezed his. “I want this. More than anything.”</p>
<p>He nodded, not trusting himself to speak as he opened the door and pulled her into the room with him. And once inside, the reality of the situation began to settle in. “I’ve never done this before,” he admitted quietly.</p>
<p>He’d never wanted anyone but her. She’d been the only woman he’d ever kissed, the only woman he’d ever pleasured himself dreaming about. Everything had always been about her.</p>
<p>“Neither have I,” she said quietly. And then she slipped her jacket off her shoulders where it landed on the floor. She took a step towards him, reaching towards his shoulders. He leaned down to allow her to reach the clasp of his cloak and unfasten it, allowing it to fall to the ground. And he couldn’t stop himself from pressing his lips to her brow before drawing back.</p>
<p>She removed his armor piece by piece with trembling hands, tossing each piece to the floor as she pulled it off. But when she removed the belt that once again held his dagger, she cradled it delicately in her hands.</p>
<p>He removed his gloves first, wanting to feel her skin as he closed his hands around hers. “I didn’t think I’d ever get this back,” he admitted. He hadn’t thought he would ever get <i>her</i> back. But now he held both her and his dagger, his most treasured possession, the reminder of just how deeply she understood him, in his hands.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you did,” she murmured.</p>
<p>He did not have words for how grateful he was to have the weapon back. To have <i>her</i> back. And it was her that he was focused on as he softly took the dagger from her and placed it on the dresser.</p>
<p>Byleth quietly removed the rest of his armor, and then her hands slipped under his shirt, grazing across his stomach, leaving heat every place she touched. He steeled himself and then pulled his shirt off, knowing that she would struggle to reach over his head, and reminding himself that she had already seen the scars.</p>
<p>She moved to begin taking off her own armor when he grabbed her hands. “Let me,” he asked as he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “Please.”</p>
<p>He’d dreamt of slowly, methodically stripping off each piece of her clothing for so long. He was not about to let her do it herself. To his relief, she nodded.	</p>
<p>He meticulously stripped off her armor piece by piece. He softly pressed his hands on her hips before removing the skirt that covered the backs of her legs, and then the belt her dagger was strung across. And examining it up close, he had no doubts about its origins.</p>
<p>“I’ve always wondered about your dagger,” he admitted. “It resembles those that are issued to the Kingdom’s royal guards.”</p>
<p>Byleth’s gaze dropped from him to the dagger. “I was told my father was originally from the Kingdom,” she said quietly.</p>
<p>He stared at her for a long moment. If Jeralt was from the Kingdom, then perhaps it was possible that someone in his family had been a part of the guard long ago. Something he resolved to investigate in the future, when he had more time.</p>
<p>But his heart swelled as he realized that Byleth had yet another connection to him, to his home. “Maybe… maybe you finally returned home today, too.” He set her dagger down, crossed over his own. Two daggers that had been given as gifts, and the two people who treasured such gifts.</p>
<p>“I returned home the day I reunited with you,” she responded.</p>
<p>The implication was not lost on him. The implication that <i>he</i> could be her home. And as she said the words, he knew, without a doubt, that she was his home too. He would always have his Kingdom, the city of his birth, but his heart would go wherever she did.</p>
<p>Dimitri began to remove the cloth at her neck and the brooch that hung from it, tracing his thumb across the scar on her throat. The scar that he had given her. The assurance that she was alive, that this was real. That he had not died on Gronder Field and this was all some sweet dream before he went to the flames. “Thank you. Thank you for keeping your promise. Thank you for coming for me.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for being there,” she said in a hushed tone.</p>
<p>He had been there for her. He’d slaughtered a troop of Imperials, tortured one to learn the date, and then made his way to the monastery to see if she might finally come to haunt him. And instead, she had dragged herself from the grave to keep her vow.</p>
<p>He took the flower from behind her ear and placed it atop their crossed daggers, not wanting the petals to be damaged by what he was about to do next. As he slid his hands across her stomach, her lower back, and then slid them under her shirt, where he felt… thick, raised scars, under his fingertips.</p>
<p>Byleth’s gaze moved from his chest to meet his stare. “We’re the same, you and I.”</p>
<p>And as she whispered the words that he’d once said to her, as the weight of her acceptance hung in the air, he leaned in and tenderly kissed her lips. When he pulled back, he gently slid his hands up her back, caressing and treasuring each raised line that his fingers grazed over until she lifted her arms above her head and he pulled her shirt off.</p>
<p>And while he had fantasized about the way she might look topless, touched himself to the idea of it, his imagination had not done justice to the sight before him. “You’re exquisite,” he whispered. Even then, his words did not do justice.</p>
<p>With that sight before him, knowing that he could finally give in to the desire, to the demand that was pressing against his pants, he pressed her against the wall, his chest flush against hers. And then he kissed her like he was going to devour her.</p>
<p>When he finally drew back, he pressed his lips along her jaw and then slowly down her neck, bringing a hand between them to cup her breast, just as he had on that night when she’d called him to her room.</p>
<p>He dragged his teeth across her throat before sealing his lips against the skin between her neck and shoulder, where he’d bitten before, where this time he just softly sucked. He pinched her erect nipple as he slid his thigh between her legs, pressing against the place he was aching to go.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” she breathed as she pressed against him, as if she was feeling the same as him, like all she wanted to do was be closer. He growled approvingly as he leaned into her, his free hand slipping down to grip the curve of her backside, as he’d wanted to do from the moment he’d seen her in those shorts. Those shorts that he had every intention to get her out of.</p>
<p>He moved his arms to lift her and then set her on the bed before sinking to his knees in front of her, as she was always bringing him to his knees. He slowly pulled off her boots and then unfastened the piece of armor protecting her left knee.</p>
<p>She did not object as he laid her down, she did not protest as he placed his trembling hands on her hips, slipping his fingers under her shorts and sliding them off. Dimitri bent over her, pressing a kiss to her lips as his fingers slipped under her stockings, as he finally got to live his fantasy of stripping the lace away from her skin.</p>
<p>And then he finally slipped her panties off, leaving her fully exposed. His breath caught in his throat at the sight, at the unparalleled beauty of her nude body. </p>
<p>He removed his boots and sat on the bed as he admitted, “I’ve dreamt of this for over five years… I just… I can’t believe this is real.” But it had to be, because the scar was there on her throat, and if he had died, he would be burning, his soul being seared by the eternal flames. Not here, with all of his dreams being made flesh.</p>
<p>“I have too,” Byleth murmured. And the words were enough to have him pressing his lips to hers, unable to contain himself at the idea that she might have thought of him even a fraction of the time he’d thought of her.</p>
<p>And then he pulled away, but once again, it was not to stop. It was to make his way down the nirvana nestled between her legs. He left a trail of kisses from the lips of her mouth down to where he intended to kiss her other set of lips.</p>
<p>When he’d reached the apex of her thighs, he gently spread her legs apart to give him access. But he waited until she asked for him, breathing, “Please.”</p>
<p>And once he had her consent, he brought his lips to hers, and traced his tongue up her entrance, eliciting a sharp breath from her. What he wouldn’t have given in that moment to be able to taste divinity, to know the taste of the heavens.</p>
<p>He dined on her and then moved his mouth over her clit, pressing his tongue against it as he slid a finger inside of her. And with how wet she was, it was not long at all before he slid in a second. And then just as he had that night, he rocked his fingers in and out, while moving his tongue up and down on her most sensitive places.</p>
<p>She called out his name, just as she had that night, but instead of tearing his hands from her in guilt, he moved his fingers faster, drawing every bit of pleasure he could from her climax before easing off and slipping his fingers out as he sat up and licked his lips.</p>
<p>Byleth stared at him as he put his fingers in his mouth to clean any remnants of her. Because even if he could not taste, it would surely be a sin to let any of her go to waste.</p>
<p>Dimitri allowed her a moment to collect herself, but before he could move back in, she sat up, her hands moving to the buttons of his pants. Her cheeks were stained red as she undid each one, and when they were all unfastened, he slipped his pants and underwear off and threw them aside.</p>
<p>He tried not to hold his breath, tried not to hide himself as she looked at him, fully bare before her. Those thoughts vanished as her hand trailed down his cock.</p>
<p><i>You still haven’t let her see you. The real you,</i> Glenn’s voice somehow broke through the quiet that Byleth’s touch had conjured, even as Byleth’s hand started to close around him.</p>
<p><i>Show her</i> all <i>of you and watch her flee.</i></p>
<p>“Wait.”</p>
<p>It killed him to stop her, when he wanted nothing more than to feel her skin on his, to feel what it would be like for her to pleasure him instead of himself. But Glenn was right, as much as he hated to admit it.</p>
<p>Hesitantly, he reached for his eyepatch. One more chance for her to see that everywhere she was beautiful, he was broken. To get a glimpse at the monstrous parts of himself that he kept hidden away.</p>
<p>She could have absolutely anyone she wanted, he was sure of that. And there was no real reason to pick him, but endless reasons not to. He forced himself to pull the patch away, to reveal the remnants of his right eye, to truly expose all of himself to her.</p>
<p>Byleth stared at him in silence. Glenn was always right, and he should’ve known that it was enough to change her mind. He was repulsive, revolting.</p>
<p>He turned from her, so she did not have to see it any longer. “I’m sorry,” Dimitri murmured as he moved to cover his eye again.</p>
<p>Her hands wrapped tightly around his own. “Someday, when you feel ready, I want you to tell me everything. I want to share your wounds.”</p>
<p>He could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve her. He knew it in his bones as she placed her hands on his cheeks and turned his face back to hers, as she pressed her lips to his eyebrow, his cheekbone, his temple, tracing a path around the ruined eye socket.</p>
<p>He fought the urge to recoil, to hide that decimated piece of himself. But she had already seen it, and she was baring herself to him, so he would not conceal himself from her. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, the most precious thing he’d ever held in his arms.</p>
<p>“And I want you to know that I see you, Dimitri,” she continued. “I see every part of you, and there is not a single part that I do not love with everything that I am.”</p>
<p>The words had him drawing back from her to settle his remaining eye on her. After showing her <i>all</i> of him, even knowing the monster that would always be a part of him. “You… love me?”</p>
<p>She smiled. The same smile as the first time she’d ever smiled. “I love you, Dimitri. I have for a long time.”</p>
<p>He did not deserve happiness, much less her love, but she was giving him both anyway. He fiercely pressed his lips to hers. “I love you, Byleth,” he finally told her, his lips moving against hers with his words. “I have for so long. From the moment you smiled for me.” And really long before that.</p>
<p>He felt the corners of her lips against his tilt up as he pulled back. “Every night after you disappeared, I would watch the sky, praying to the goddess that somehow you would cut a hole in the damn world again and come back to me. I begged over and over for you to come back. And you did… The one who guided me so kindly. My ally through all, even as I pushed you away… My beloved.”</p>
<p>Her arms wrapped tightly around him, just as he held her. Home. And he was finally ready, ready to do what he’d intended to do from the moment they entered this room, but now without any doubts.</p>
<p>She let him lay her down on the bed again after he pulled back and settled himself over her. “I think… this might hurt, at first.”</p>
<p>“I know. It’s okay,” she assured him.</p>
<p>He lined himself up, nudging at her entrance before taking her hand in his own and slowly pushing into her slick center. He couldn’t help the groan that broke from him as she engulfed him.</p>
<p>Byleth took a sharp breath and he stopped as soon as he felt resistance, watching her closely. He had hurt her. He had hurt her so much and so deeply since she had come back. Dimitri never wanted to hurt her again. But she nodded.</p>
<p>So he pushed through, hurting her one final time. Breaching the last wall that lay between them.</p>
<p>He went still as she flinched. “I’m okay,” she promised.</p>
<p>“Tell me when you’re ready,” he murmured. He wouldn’t move until then, until she was comfortable. And as he waited, he pressed a kiss to her brow, tracing his thumb across the soft skin of her hand. The hands that had pulled him from the dark. “Your hands… Holding them in my own, I see how small and fragile they are. These hands that have saved me countless times… Thank you, my beloved.” He pressed his lips again to her brow, her cheek, her lips.</p>
<p>“I’m ready, Dimitri.”</p>
<p>He nodded, but even as he did so, unease began to creep in. As he held the most precious thing in the world to him in his arms, as he realized just how breakable she was, and how he was always breaking precious things.</p>
<p>As if she were reading his thoughts, she squeezed his hand. “You will not break me.”</p>
<p>He would trust her. And with those words compelling him, he began to move, pulling out and then he plunged into her with a groan, sheathing himself in her, and for the first time in his life, he felt whole. Like he’d found the missing piece of himself to finally fill the void, like the jagged, cracked edges of their souls had always been meant to fit together.</p>
<p>And with each thrust he made into her, it became clearer and clearer to him. There could never have been anyone else, no one else that could make him feel like this, both in his body and soul.</p>
<p>He had been certain that he would desecrate her, that his touch would bring about her ruination. But he couldn’t have been more wrong. She offered him absolution, she offered salvation.</p>
<p>A moan broke from Byleth’s lips, but he silenced it, placing his own lips against hers.</p>
<p>He finally broke the kiss and pulled back, but it was only to bring his mouth down to her breast, where he closed his mouth around her peaked nipple and gently sucked.</p>
<p>He increased his pace, bracing a hand against the headboard to aid him as he thrust in and out.</p>
<p>“Byleth,” he breathed her name, begging for her blessing as he neared the edge. Her blessing to fall off that edge, her assurance that she would catch him.</p>
<p>She called out his name in response, her walls tightening around him as she reached climax. It was enough to push him over that edge as he shot his seed deep within her. He cried out her name, <i>Byleth</i>, the goddess who had saved him, the goddess he worshipped. The goddess that loved him.</p>
<p>And as they reached that zenith together, the headboard Dimitri was bracing himself against snapped, just as thunder cracked and lightning flashed in the cloudless sky.</p>
<p>In the wake of their shared pleasure, they lay together, remembering how to breathe, remembering who they were when they were not joined together as one, two pieces that could only fit with each other.</p>
<p>As he finally pulled out of her, the silence was broken by the whispers of the dead.</p>
<p>
  <i>…ake...he...ad…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>…un…rthy…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>…pul…ive…</i>
</p>
<p>But they were muffled. Muted somehow by her presence. “I love you,” he murmured as he pressed his lips to hers.</p>
<p>“I love you, Dimitri,” she whispered, her lips moving against his.</p>
<p>He finally pulled back and glanced at the headboard. “I’ll try not to destroy furniture every time we do this.”</p>
<p>“And I’ll try--”</p>
<p>“No,” he silenced her. “I don’t mind if you summon lightning from the sky each time.” A primal piece of him was delighted at the idea that his cock had coaxed such miracles from her.</p>
<p>“It doesn’t… scare you?” she questioned softly, turning her gaze from his.</p>
<p>She had unnerved him once, but only because she had reminded him of himself, and even then, he’d been captivated by her. He gently gripped her chin and lifted it, bringing her eyes back to his. “I am enthralled by you. The only thing that frightens me is that you might finally realize how monstrous I am and leave my side.”</p>
<p>He was certain now that the only thing that could break him was losing her again, whether it was by her choice or something else. If she was at his side, he could face anything, do anything.</p>
<p>She shook her head. “You still think you’re a monster? I told you, <i>I</i> am one. I don’t even have a heartbeat!” She took his hand and set it against her chest, where he knew there would be no sound, no movement.</p>
<p>He lovingly pressed his hand against her. “I know,” he admitted. “I’ve known for a long time.”</p>
<p>Her eyes widened and she stared at him in silence.</p>
<p>“You collapsed after killing Solon. I… I carried you back to the monastery myself.” He hadn’t wanted to let her go. “I was terrified that you had died, so I checked for your heartbeat. You can… imagine my panic when I heard nothing. But you were still breathing. And I realized that was the only thing that mattered.” He grabbed her hand in his own and brought it to feel the steady beating of his heart, the rhythm that was all hers. “It doesn’t make you a monster, and even if you do not have your own, my heart beats for you.”</p>
<p>And this time she leaned in, pressing her lips gently to his. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him, his fingers tenderly trailing across the scars on her back. Even as her own fingers delicately brushed over the thick marks smattered across his own chest. They were the same.</p>
<p>“I wish we had more time. I want to show you all of Fhirdiad,” he told her.</p>
<p>“We will have time, after we win this war. We’ll win, and then I want you to show me the whole Kingdom.”</p>
<p>“Yes, my beloved, I’ll show it all to you,” he promised.</p>
<p>He would show her the entire Kingdom, <i>her</i> Kingdom, because he intended to make her his queen, if she would have him as her king.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. The Golden Deer's Plea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Byleth and the Blue Lions head for Derdriu to respond to Claude's request to Dimitri for aid.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CONTENT WARNING: Explicit sex.<br/>I'm sorry, it's kind of scattered throughout this chapter in both POVs. They finally got together, so they're kind of going at it a lot...</p>
<p>As always, please let me know if there's anything you'd like to see from the other point of view that is not covered here. I'm trying not to double up too much unless that point of view has some unique insights (but there is a lot more doubling up post-timeskip).</p>
<p>Here is The Golden Deer's Plea! The next chapter is another one that is a bit longer, and we have a major release for our big project of the year coming up on the 17th. With that being said, it is possible that I will need to take a week off and that The Impregnable Fortress will be out on 5/21. I am going to do my best to still get it up on 5/14, but I'm having to put in some overtime right now to try and push this project to the finish line, so it's possible that I'll fall a little behind on writing. I promise if that does happen that it will only be two weeks, and I ask for everyone's patience! But like I said, I'll do my best to stay on the weekly schedule!</p>
<p>Song inspiration for this chapter was:<br/>The Guillotine - Escape the Fate</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! All of the comments and kudos mean the world to me, and I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Byleth</h3>
<p>There was no better way to wake up. I was certain of that as I opened my eyes to find sunlight pouring in the window, casting its rays across the golden hair and gentle expression of the man I loved. The man whose arms were holding me tightly, even in sleep. And for the first time in a long time, perhaps the first time ever, Dimitri looked truly at peace.</p>
<p>As I shifted in his arms to get a better look at him, his eye fluttered open. The moment he focused on me, he pulled me into a deep kiss, and it was not long before he was buried within me again. He held me against him as he rolled onto his back, moving me to straddle him. I moved on top of him and when we both found our pleasure, shouting each other’s names, his hands squeezed my hips tightly enough to bruise.</p>
<p>I was still atop him panting when a knock sounded at the door.</p>
<p>“Your Highness?” Dedue’s voice called.</p>
<p>I shifted off of Dimitri and settled onto the bed next to him.</p>
<p>“What is it?” Dimitri called back, sounding less out of breath than I had expected.</p>
<p>“The war council is ready to meet. Gilbert was requesting your presence,” Dedue reported through the door.</p>
<p>“I’ll be there,” Dimitri shot a glance at me. “…in just a bit.”</p>
<p>“It was also requested that you bring Byleth if you know where she might be.” Dedue awkwardly cleared his throat. “No one has been able to find her this morning.”</p>
<p>Dimitri’s cheeks stained scarlet as he glanced at me again. “Dedue… How long have you been out there?”</p>
<p>We were greeted with silence before Dedue finally answered, “Not long. I’ll… let them know that you and Byleth will be along… Take your time.”</p>
<p>Dimitri stared at me, his cheeks growing an even deeper shade of crimson, but I couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out of me into the silence.</p>
<p>“If Sylvain finds out, I will never hear the end of this,” he groaned.</p>
<p>I had a feeling that Sylvain would not be surprised at all, not as I recalled him dragging me to the infirmary, not as I recalled the herb that I’d been diligently taking each month. “Are you not going to tell them?”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “I’m sure they’ll find out eventually, I have no intention of hiding what I feel for you, not any longer.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. “But just for a little while, I want to keep this happiness all to myself.”</p>
<p>Happiness. That was exactly what it was. That was exactly what I had been nearly drowning in since the night before. He finally drew back from me. “I’ll be right back; I’m just going to draw a bath.”</p>
<p>I nodded and reluctantly let him leave my side. </p>
<p>When he returned, he quickly swept me up in his arms and began to walk towards the washroom again, but as his hand slid under my thighs, slick from a combination of arousal and the remnants of him, he stopped and looked down at me. “Byleth, I…” His lips tilted down into a frown. “I shouldn’t have… You’re not… I should have pulled out.”</p>
<p>I stared at him as he finally got the words out, as I realized exactly what was worrying him. “You don’t need to worry about that.” I added more quietly, “Sylvain gave me something for it.”</p>
<p>His eye widened as he asked, “When?”</p>
<p>“The day before we departed for Ailell,” I murmured, recalling the torment of resisting each other as his arms tightened around me and he stepped into the steaming water of the bathtub, sinking down into it while still clutching me to his bare chest.</p>
<p>When I turned my head to look at him, his mouth was immediately against mine.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” I said softly against his lips. He drew back to focus his eye on me. “What about the war council?”</p>
<p>“I know. We’ll go soon,” he assured me. “I just… Just give me a little longer in this moment. Please.”</p>
<p>If I had the ability to stop time and bring him out of that flow with me, I would have. To stay in this moment forever as we joined together again, as he thrust his hips up over and over, as he finally drove himself deep within me as he found release.</p>
<p>We quickly washed each other after and then hunted through the chaos of clothing and armor strewn across the floor to dress. But he secured my dagger around my waist himself, just as I did with his, before he pulled me into one more deep kiss before we made it out the door.</p>
<p>In the hallway, reality settled back in. The night before had changed everything between Dimitri and I, but it had not changed the fact that we were still in the midst of a war. A war that I was now more determined than ever to win.</p><hr/>
<p>Gilbert and the rest of the Blue Lions were waiting for us in the same meeting room we’d seen the messenger in the night before. The corners of Dedue’s mouth twitched upwards as he stifled a smile at the sight of us. Sylvain shot the vassal a curious glance, and I couldn’t help but think it would not be long at all before everyone knew.</p>
<p>“We have received a request for aid from the Alliance,” Dimitri reported to the group. “We have only just taken back Fhirdiad, and yet I am already asking all of you to move out once more. Please accept my apologies for that.”</p>
<p>“That’s no problem at all,” Ingrid quickly assured him. “More importantly, how is the Alliance faring?”</p>
<p>“House Riegan has rallied the Alliance lords. They are facing the enemy with all the strength they can muster. But we do not know how far that will get them. It seems the enemy’s relentless attacks have forced them into a tough situation. Their defeat at Gronder severely weakened the Alliance.” Dimitri shot a pointed look at me. “I imagine the Empire now intends to destroy them before they can recover.”</p>
<p>I hadn’t realized that Dimitri knew I had gone off to face the Alliance that day. And I hadn’t intended to weaken the Alliance, focused only on getting to Claude so I could convince him to withdraw, but guilt rushed through me as I realized it would’ve been better if he had avoided Gronder altogether, despite us initially hoping for his aid.</p>
<p>“To think they’d watch us chase their soldiers out of the Kingdom capital, then immediately go invade the Alliance… Their general is Lord Volkhard von Arundel,” Gilbert reported. “He serves as regent to the emperor. He has presumably taken command after the emperor was wounded in Gronder.”</p>
<p>“He is known for his shrewdness and excels not only in domestic affairs, but tactics as well. He is not an opponent we should take lightly.” Dimitri frowned. “Lord Arundel…”</p>
<p>Edelgard’s uncle, and Dimitri’s uncle by marriage. I recalled the discomfort I’d seen in Dimitri when Arundel had visited the monastery, and the discomfort that had driven me to hide rather than reveal myself in his presence. Lord Arundel, who Dimitri had been investigating in the library years ago, when Sothis had pointed out the book he’d left askew. “Are you concerned?” I asked carefully, reminding myself that he had once asked me to keep his relation to Edelgard a secret.</p>
<p>He met my gaze as he confessed, “I always suspected Lord Arundel was behind the tragedy nine years ago. The timing of his departure from the Kingdom, the fact that he abruptly stopped making donations… Too many factors made him suspect. If Lord Arundel conspired with Cornelia… then what Kronya and the others said five years ago…”</p>
<p>My hand moved to the hilt of my dagger. <i>Your enemies are my enemies.</i></p>
<p>Gilbert shot a glance between us.</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head and looked back to the group. “Well, nevermind that for now. The Alliance needs our help. What are your thoughts?”</p>
<p>Gilbert rubbed his chin. “If we turn our back on the Alliance and then Derdriu falls, it will undoubtedly make our situation difficult further down the road. We would have enemies in two directions… in the Alliance to the northeast and the Empire to the south.”</p>
<p>Dimitri nodded. “That is true. In that scenario, we would not be able to safely march our soldiers to Enbarr.”</p>
<p>Annette grinned. “Oh! Maybe if we do this, the Alliance will help us out in return! We could ask them to help us attack the Empire. You know, a sneak attack or something!”</p>
<p>“Annie!” Mercedes chided. “When did you become so devious?”</p>
<p>Gilbert let out a rare chuckle and his face was softened with a gentle smile. “What would your mother think.”</p>
<p>“What?” Annette responded with a frown. “It wasn’t that devious!”</p>
<p>It seemed that the liberation of Fhirdiad, and the feast last night that Dimitri had insisted everyone be free to enjoy, had done wonders for the group’s morale. My thoughts quickly drifted to where I had been during the merriment and the pleasant soreness between my thighs that had resulted from it. I tried to chase the thoughts away, such thoughts that had no place on a battlefield or in a war council.</p>
<p>“What do you think, Byleth?” Gilbert asked, turning to me, unaware of the way my mind was wandering.</p>
<p>“I support whatever Dimitri decides.” I flashed him a warm smile, knowing that he’d already made his mind up the night before. Knowing that we would be marching for Derdriu, because I had fallen in love with a good man, a good king.</p>
<p>“We must go to Derdriu,” Dimitri affirmed, his eye fixed on me. “I will admit that there is something to be gained for us as well, for when we eventually march south… But far more importantly… they need us. We cannot turn our backs on them.”</p>
<p>I was so proud of the man that he had become, deserving in every way of the title of Savior King. I nodded in confirmation as he continued to watch me.</p>
<p>“We will arrange to head out at once. Prepare yourselves, everyone,” Dimitri ordered.</p><hr/>
<p>The morning was spent ensuring that the situation in Fhirdiad would remain stable even with our departure. While it would have been easy to leave things in Rodrigue’s hands, with his passing, Margrave Gautier, Sylvain’s father, had assumed his position, and would begin gathering the lords of the eastern territories. Those lords would begin reorganizing the Faerghus army and work on eradicating any remaining factions that claimed allegiance to the Empire, leaving us free to march our army to Derdriu.</p>
<p>A messenger was also dispatched back to the monastery to notify Seteth and the Knights of Seiros about the unexpected delay in our return. We intended to set as hard of a pace as we could muster, hoping that we could reach Claude before it was too late, but it was not a short trip. Ashe pointed out that Claude must have sent the messenger before we’d retaken Fhirdiad, perhaps before we’d even begun our march.</p>
<p>I ran into Felix rummaging through a box while we were packing up. “My uncle gave me some of my father’s belonging’s,” he said without looking up. “Weapons, books…”</p>
<p>“We’ll be back,” I assured him. After all, Dimitri had promised to show me not just Fhirdiad, but all of the Kingdom.</p>
<p>He looked up and fixed me with a determined glare. “Yes, we will. Because there was something else that my old man really wanted to pass down. He wanted me to inherit his mission--ensuring that Dimitri ascends the throne. Or so I believe.”</p>
<p>“He’s lucky to have a friend like you,” I said gently, even if I was sure that Felix would argue that he was not Dimitri’s friend.</p>
<p>But to my surprise, rather than lashing out or denying, Felix just nodded. “The boar is lucky to have you too.”</p><hr/>
<p>I’d barely seen Dimitri since the war council, even as we marched, and while I was selfishly disappointed, I was not surprised. I had no doubt that with reclaiming his throne he’d drastically increased the responsibilities he bore. But I was grateful when we finally made camp for the night, actually erecting tents thanks to the increase in our supplies after taking back the capital.</p>
<p>Dedue was standing outside Dimitri’s tent when I went to slip in and he greeted me with a small nod. “It falls to me to monitor His Highness and ensure he does not try to take on too much. I would ask that you do the same. If you take your eyes off that man, even for a moment, he is liable to do something rash.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him.” I’d been unable to take my eyes off of him five years ago when Dedue had first requested that I watch out for him, and that had only become more and more the case as he became not just the king of Faerghus, but also the king of my heart.</p>
<p>Dedue started to walk away, but he turned back and looked at me with a warm smile, an expression he very seldom wore that lit up his entire demeanor. “I am… happy for you both. I think His Highness has wanted this for far longer than even he realizes.” He glanced around. “I still look forward to showing you both the fields of Duscur in bloom once more. Have a good night, Byleth.”</p>
<p>The moment I made it through the flaps of the tent I was pulled into an embrace and a kiss was planted on my lips, as if the effort of not doing so all day had been nearly unbearable, as if he’d been missing me as much as I’d been missing him. Even with less than a day apart, even when we’d seen each other at dinner, when he’d passed by me and quietly invited me to his tent.</p>
<p>We wasted no time undressing, unlike the night before. It was not long and drawn out, but instead a hurried effort to get each other laid out onto the pile of furs that served as the bed.</p>
<p>“You’re going to have to be quiet,” he whispered in my ear, and the feel of his breath sent a chill down my spine in anticipation.</p>
<p>He pulled his head back and then froze as his eyes fell on the hand-shaped bruises that had formed on my hips from the morning. “Byleth… I… I did this to you,” he murmured in an anguished tone as his fingers gingerly trailed over the curve of my hip. “I hurt you.”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “This is nothing, Dimitri. I assure you; I am fine.”</p>
<p>But he did not look convinced, guilt weighing his expression.</p>
<p>I let out a sigh. “Well then, why don’t you just lie back? Then you don’t have to worry.”</p>
<p>He did not object as I pushed him onto his back. He just stared at me, his eye wide, as I moved down and placed my mouth around him, intending to repay the favor he’d done for me the night before. Despite his talk of being quiet, he let out a low groan and his hands fisted tightly in the furs as I moved my mouth on him.</p>
<p>After a few minutes, he gripped me under the shoulders and pulled me up. “I take it back,” he said, breathing unevenly. “I take it back. Just let me inside you, please.”</p>
<p>I moved to straddle him, but I felt my cheeks flush. “Was it… not good?” I asked, trying to hide my nervousness. I’d heard plenty of talk growing up with mercenaries, enough to have an idea of what to do, but it wasn’t like I had any actual experience.</p>
<p>“It was amazing,” he replied earnestly. “But nothing feels as good as…” He groaned as I slid onto him. “…this.”</p>
<p>When I had taken his full length, he wrapped an arm tightly around me and flipped us, leaving me on my back with him over me.</p>
<p>I started to moan as his hips pressed against mine, driving him deep inside of me, but he caught the sound with a hand over my mouth.</p>
<p>“I meant it when I said you had to be quiet,” he breathed against my neck. “Because if someone heard you, if someone came in and got to see you like this… I’d have to kill them.”</p>
<p>They were dangerous, violent words, but they turned my blood molten. A reminder that there was a part of him that was the same as me on such a fundamental level--something violent and savage that could be contained but never erased. A part of us that could only be so deeply understood by the other.</p>
<p>So I did not object as he covered my mouth to muffle my cries for him as he thrust in and out of me. I did not object when he clamped his hand down tightly as release shattered through me. And I did not object when he cried out, biting against my shoulder, when he finally spilled into me.</p>
<p>“You’ll tell me… if I’m ever… hurting you?” he asked quietly, finally breaking the silence of our heavy breathing.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’d tell you. You really don’t need to worry, Mitya.” I hadn’t even realized the nickname had slipped out until I saw his eyebrows raise.</p>
<p>“What was that, Beloved?”</p>
<p>I felt my cheeks flush.</p>
<p>“I like it,” he confessed softly. “Another piece of you just for me… Say it again.”</p>
<p>“Mitya,” I whispered, and then he leaned in and kissed me softly.</p>
<p>We settled into the pile of furs, Dimitri pulling them over us to fight against the cold night air. “It was twenty years ago… There was an illness raging across Fhirdiad. While people were dying left and right… It was Cornelia who saved the Kingdom from that dreadful illness,” Dimitri remarked with a frown as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.</p>
<p>“I can’t imagine it.” The closest encounter I’d had with something like a plague had been in Remire Village, and that had been the work of Solon’s dark magic, not something natural.</p>
<p>“Neither can I,” he admitted. “By the time I was old enough to understand, that time had already passed.”</p>
<p>“Was Cornelia a doctor?”</p>
<p>He shook his head. “No, I hear she was originally an Imperial scholar. She was in the Kingdom by my father’s invitation.” He was quiet for a moment. “People praised Cornelia as a saint for ending the epidemic. But there came a day when she completely changed. Her behavior, mannerisms, likes, dislikes… everything. Despite all that, Father still appointed her to a high post. After all, she had saved the Kingdom from ruin by that disease… But above all, my stepmother trusted her. That’s why what that woman said is… Nevermind.”</p>
<p>The same had been said about Monica. That she had disappeared and been different when we’d rescued her from the Death Knight. Until she had revealed herself to actually be Kronya, the murderer of my father and a conspirator with Edelgard. “Your enemies are my enemies,” I assured him. “We’ll figure it out, together.”</p><hr/>
<p>The next night at dinner, Sylvain sat down next to me and scooted close. “Derdriu, the Aquatic Capital… I’ve heard it’s a magnificent city, you know. I wish we weren’t going to wage war. It’d be more fun to visit with a cute girl on my arm.” He leaned in and winked. “Maybe you and me, once the war is over?”</p>
<p>A loud crunch sounded across the fire, and Sylvain and I both looked over in time to see the bowl of stew that had been in Dimitri’s hand shatter. A grin split across Sylvain’s features as he met Dimitri’s gaze.</p>
<p>“Forget it,” I hissed at Sylvain, who clearly knew exactly what he was doing, and his intentions had very little to do with me.</p>
<p>“Aw, come on, let a guy dream!” he replied, turning his grin on me. And then he leaned in to whisper, “Is my little gift from the infirmary proving useful?”</p>
<p>I stared at him, willing my cheeks not to color with the heat that I felt rising in them.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome, you know,” he continued as I stood, as he glanced at Dimitri, who was still giving him a look that would have sent lesser men running.</p>
<p>Dimitri rose to follow me as I walked past him. He grabbed a cloth from a nearby table as he went to wipe his hand clean of the remnants of his dinner.</p>
<p>“He’s just trying to get a rise out of you,” I said as we walked towards his tent. I neglected to mention that it was working.</p>
<p>“He’s insufferable,” Dimitri grumbled back.</p>
<p>“That is also true.” I glanced at the cloth in his hand. “Did you get enough to eat? Dinner was actually quite good tonight.”</p>
<p>“Oh, was it?” he mused. “That’s good.”</p>
<p>I stopped and stared at him. “What do you mean ‘was it’? Did you not eat any?”</p>
<p>He paused and looked back at me, a faint frown spreading across his lips. “I ate enough.” He let out a small sigh. “The truth is that no matter what I eat, I can scarcely taste it. I have not had my sense of taste for… nine years now.”</p>
<p>“But…” I fumbled as the weight of his words hit me, the idea of not being able to partake in the simple joys of food, and as I recalled the time I had thought he ate Flayn’s cooking because he was polite. But it hadn’t been politeness--he couldn’t taste it. As I recalled the time he’d taken me to dinner. “You said you loved the dessert.”</p>
<p>He turned to face me fully and took my hand in his as he met my gaze. “And now you know, I wasn’t talking about the meal.”</p>
<p>Me. He’d been talking about me. And the idea that he may have loved me even then had me pulling him quickly in the direction of his tent.</p><hr/>
<p>I woke with a start in the middle of the night to Dimitri’s body jerking violently next to mine. “Mitya.” I gently laid my hand on his shoulder, but he did not respond. Hesitantly, I shook him slightly.</p>
<p>His eye flew open, but his gaze was wild and unfocused. In an instant, I was pinned on my back with his hand at my throat, but he wasn’t squeezing. Not yet.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” I murmured, reaching up and brushing my fingers past the desolated housing for his right eye and down his cheek.</p>
<p>His remaining eye finally focused on me and widened. “Byleth?” he whispered in horror. His hand fell away from my throat as he quickly sat up and turned away from me, his shoulders hunched. “I could’ve killed you just now.”</p>
<p>I sat up behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest, pulling myself flush against his back. “We both know I’m perfectly capable of defending myself. Unless you need a reminder, in which case we can go spar.”</p>
<p>He said nothing, but he didn’t disagree with me, so I took it as the best answer I was going to get. It was true that he was physically stronger--his unnatural strength was likely uncontested--but we both knew that I hadn’t survived as long as I had on sheer luck alone.</p>
<p>“Nightmares?” I prompted softly as his silence wore on.</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>I waited.</p>
<p>After another moment of silence, he finally began, “I have had the same nightmare for nine long years. A nightmare in which I am constantly tormented by those who have died… They ask me why I have not avenged them… Why I got to live, yet they had to die… No matter how many corpses I piled up for them, in the end, their voices only grew louder. Voices loathing me, calling out to me… Their inescapable death cries ringing in my ears… clinging to my soul… Even now, I can always hear them. I am certain I will be hearing them until the day I die.” He reached up to grasp my hand pressed against his chest, over the heart that beat for me. “But I will not cover my ears. I will go on living… and their voices will serve as a warning. As a king… and as a wretch who has taken countless lives… I will build a Kingdom where the people can live in peace.”</p>
<p>“Mitya…”</p>
<p>He shook his head. “Perhaps it is foolish, but I wish to change the world in my own way. Perhaps then I can be worthy of you.”</p>
<p>“It’s not foolish, Dimitri.” I pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I will be with you every step of the way, because you have always been worthy.” If either of us was unworthy of the other, I was certain that it was me, unworthy of the Savior King. But I would try, I would try to keep hold of the demon, to live as the human that he made me feel I could be.</p>
<p>He trembled under my hands. “Their voices are softer when I’m with you,” he said quietly.</p>
<p>“I’ll be here when it’s hard to bear,” I promised in a whisper. “To share your wounds, to share your pain.”</p>
<p>He finally turned in my arms and kissed me. “My beloved…”</p>
<p>I let him lay me down and gently make love to me before we fell back asleep.</p><hr/>
<p>After a long march that was made easier by the high spirits of the army, we finally crested the hill leading down into the valley where Derdriu lay. And I couldn’t help the immense sense of hope and pride that welled up within me as I stood at the head of the army with Dimitri, the banners of House Blaiddyd flying high around us.</p>
<p>Dimitri had pulled the top portion of his hair back and bound it with a strap of leather, although some of his bangs fell loose. His cloak billowed around him, and as I looked at the man I loved, leading his army to rescue an ally desperate for aid, I was once again struck by the fact that I was truly looking at a king, the Savior King.</p>
<p>When we reached the gates of the city, Gilbert gathered the commanders--the Blue Lions--for a report.</p>
<p>“It appears the Imperial army has already marched into Derdriu and engeaged the Alliance. It seems the Imperial advance has been stalled by guerilla skirmishes,” Gilbert explained. “The Alliance forces are holding out, but they won’t last much longer…”</p>
<p>“That must be Judith of House Daphnel who joined up with Claude’s troops,” Ingrid added with a frown. “To think Judith, a true hero, would find herself backed into a corner like this.”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head with a small smile. “It is not so. The Alliance has only drawn the enemy so deeply into the city to allow us to attack them from behind. Brilliant.”</p>
<p>“They’re planning a pincer attack?” I asked as it dawned on me.</p>
<p>“I believe so,” Dimitri said with a nod. “He put his soldiers into position purely on the belief that we’d come… I can’t believe Claude would risk everything on that belief. He placed all of his hopes on us. Let’s make sure we live up to his expectations, Byleth.”</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“Here we go,” he said, turning to the rest of the group. “Let’s move!”</p><hr/>
<p>As we moved the troops in, Dimitri reaffirmed his resolve. “I will not let Claude die… Let’s hurry to his rescue.”</p>
<p>Ingrid was already moving her unit of pegasus knights to the docks where Hilda could be seen atop a wyvern, likely guarding Claude, leaving us free to advance through the city.</p>
<p>Sylvain led a unit to go rescue Judith while the rest of the Blue Lions swept through the city, able to strike quickly thanks to the way that the Alliance had drawn the Imperial troops into the city, leaving Dimitri and I free to advance towards the other end of the city where we finally reached Lord Arundel.</p>
<p>“You would raise a weapon against your own uncle? You’ve grown into a savage of a man, just like your father,” Arundel crooned at Dimitri as he approached.</p>
<p>“You are rather calm for one in your position,” Dimitri replied coldly. “Or did you forget that this is a battlefield? Perhaps this is no time for words, Uncle. There will be time for that after we have settled things here.”</p>
<p>I stepped out beside him, raising my blade. Arundel’s eyes narrowed as he caught sight of me, previously eclipsed by Dimitri’s massive frame.</p>
<p>“You,” Arundel hissed. “Your very presence has foiled our plans, yet again…”</p>
<p>“Don’t you <i>dare</i> speak to her,” Dimitri warned, his tone shifting to something dangerous.</p>
<p>Arundel glanced between us, his gaze calculating, and then a wicked grin split across his lips and he began to laugh. “To think, my savage nephew and the Fell Star who fell too far… If only she had stayed dead!”</p>
<p>The words snapped something in Dimitri. He roared at Arundel, red light crackling up the blade of Areadbhar. He leapt forward, swinging his lance through the air.</p>
<p>Arundel raised his hands and sent a blast of dark magic flying towards Dimitri, magic that felt familiar somehow as I flung out the Sword of the Creator, cutting through the miasma as Dimitri struck his uncle, cutting clean through his shoulder.</p>
<p>Arundel fell to his knees, clutching the bloody gash where his arm was barely maintaining its connection to his torso. “Do our hopes end here?” he coughed bitterly.</p>
<p>Dimitri spoke through gritted teeth, “Uncle, I need to know. The incident nine years ago… You were involved, weren’t you? You know something. What did Cornelia… No. What did my stepmother do?!”</p>
<p>Arundel laughed, sending blood spewing onto the stones before him. “You are not qualified to look into the darkness… You and Edelgard… Do your best to kill each other… You are family, after all… There it is… the light…” Then he fell to the ground, and he did not move again.</p>
<p>Dimitri stared at his body for a long moment before he grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me down a side street. He dropped my elbow but tightly gripped my hand.</p>
<p>“He’s dead. There goes our chance to gain more information… I shouldn’t have snapped like that, but when he said that about you…” Dimitri shook his head and leaned in, brushing a kiss against my lips. “Then again, even if we had managed to capture him alive, judging by the way he was acting…”</p>
<p>“We can think about that later. For now, let’s rejoice in our victory,” I said as footsteps echoed down the street. And as I tried to figure out what was bothering me about Arundel, where the familiar feeling that was tugging at a sliver of a memory was coming from.</p>
<p>“Teach is absolutely right,” Claude said from behind us. “We should take this opportunity to let off some tension.”</p>
<p>Dimitri turned to face him as he dropped my hand. “It’s been a long time, Claude. I am glad to see that you’re safe.”</p>
<p>“Same. I haven’t seen you since the nightmare that was Gronder.” Claude fixed me with a hard stare that told me he vividly remembered our last encounter. “You really did come to help us… You must be a bunch of soft-hearted suckers, eh?”</p>
<p>Dimitri shook his head. “If you really felt that way, you would not have set up a defensive battle in the hopes that we would come. It worked out, only because we made it in time… Were you really so confident that we would answer the call?”</p>
<p>Claude nodded. “Of course. I knew you wouldn’t hesitate to put yourself second and come running to our aid.”</p>
<p>“You know him well,” I observed. Claude had always been insightful. I had a feeling that he’d known exactly whose attention I wanted the night of the ball when he’d pulled me onto the dance floor, when he’d commented to me that Dimitri was watching me.</p>
<p>“You and I are cut from different cloth,” Claude remarked to Dimitri. “I wouldn’t make a move unless I could gain something from it. You’ve always been just the opposite. And of course, I’ve always been fond of taking dangerous risks. After all, I sent that express messenger before you had even recaptured the Kingdom capital. If all went to plan, I knew you’d recapture it soon, and then respond to our request for aid. I was confident of it the moment I ran into Byleth at Gronder. It was riskier than usual, I’ll give you that. But it was the only card I had to play, so I took the gamble.”</p>
<p>“You cross too many dangerous bridges for my liking,” Dimitri responded, shooting a long glance at me.</p>
<p>“I know, I know,” Claude said dismissively. “But… that ends today.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Dimitri questioned.</p>
<p>“As of today, the Leicester Alliance is no more,” Claude declared.</p>
<p>Dimitri crossed his arms. “Just what are you planning, Claude?”</p>
<p>“If you’re going to lead Fódlan, then the Alliance lords will follow you,” Claude said, and there was no trace of mischief in his expression. “Back in the day, the Alliance split off from the Kingdom. I’m just putting us back together again.” His lips split into a grin. “Oh, and I’ve already gained the support of the other lords at the roundtable conference, so you can stop looking at me like I’m crazy. House Gloucester was very supportive as well. All that’s left is for me to officially step down as the leader of the Alliance.”</p>
<p>Dimitri and I both stared at him. In a single moment, the territory of the Kingdom had doubled, and with it, our military might would likely grow as well. With Dimitri at the head of it all, as king.</p>
<p>None of the words welling up within me seemed to do justice to the significance of what had just occurred, so instead I turned to Claude. “What will you do now?”</p>
<p>“I’m leaving Fódlan. There are things I have to do. Dreams I need to see to fruition,” Claude replied vaguely. “That’s why I became the Alliance leader to begin with, actually. But it left me no time for what I was really after. You’d better not take on too many responsibilities yourselves, or you’ll end up in the same boat.” His gaze turned to Dimitri. “And remember… both the living and the dead cling to us without regard for our own lives. It’s up to use to break free of that weight and follow the path that we believe in.”</p>
<p>The weight of Claude’s words hung in the air as Dimitri began, “Claude…”</p>
<p>“Oops!” Claude interrupted. “I almost forgot the most important thing. If you’re looking for Rhea, apparently she’s being held captive in the Imperial capital. It doesn’t sound like they intend to kill her, but there’s no telling what they’re planning.”</p>
<p>My blood turned to ice in my veins. Rhea was alive, and if we went to Enbarr, which we undoubtedly would, I would have to see her again. I would have to face her, and demand to know what she had done to me. Demand to know the truth about myself.</p>
<p>Dimitri glanced at me, and I was certain that he had noticed the change in my demeanor. But he looked away again. “You have my gratitude, Claude.”</p>
<p>“Gratitude? Thanks, but no thanks. As far as I’m concerned, we’re even now. Take tonight, relax in the city, and then we’ll part ways. I don’t know how many years will pass until then, but let’s promise to meet again. And when we do… don’t be too hard on me, Your Kingliness.” A smirk flashed across Claude’s features. “Congratulations, by the way. I saw that little kiss.”</p><hr/>
<p>After a long evening of celebrating the defeat of the Imperial army at Derdriu, Dimitri and I made our way to the room he’d been provided. It hadn’t been all festivities--we'd also discussed logistics with Gilbert about actually absorbing the Alliance into the Kingdom, and dispatched messengers back to Fhirdiad and Garreg Mach to inform both Margrave Gautier and Seteth of the developments.</p>
<p>The moment we were alone in his room, Dimitri crossed his arms and watched me, his expression serious. “What’s wrong? You have seemed… troubled, ever since Claude mentioned Rhea. Are you… worried about her?”</p>
<p>He had noticed after all, even as I’d done my best to enjoy the merriment. “No,” I confessed quietly. “I am terrified.”</p>
<p>His eyebrows rose. “I imagine if the Empire was intending to kill her, they would have done so by now. Claude indicated that as well.”</p>
<p>“I almost wish they had,” I whispered, afraid that even here, the truth might be overheard, the truth that would cost us the support of the Knights of Seiros. “I am terrified <i>of</i> Rhea, not <i>for</i> her.”</p>
<p>His eye widened as the words sank in. “I’ve never seen you afraid of anything.”</p>
<p>He was wrong about that. I was afraid of many things. I was afraid of sleeping without him by my side, I was afraid of losing him. But Rhea had made my skin crawl the moment I’d met her. And I couldn’t stop thinking of her reaction when I sat on the throne in the Holy Tomb. “When we get back to the monastery, I have something to show you. I’ll explain everything then.” The story began with my father’s diary, my father who had feared Rhea just as I did.</p>
<p>He nodded slowly and then pulled me into a tight embrace as he whispered in my ear, “I will kill anyone should you ask it of me… even Rhea.”</p>
<p>And in the warmth of his arms, with his promise of violence hanging over me, my unease melted away.</p><hr/>
<p>I was flying backwards, bracing my sword against a plume of miasma. I barely managed to get my feet under me as I neared the ledge that would surely spell my doom. I looked up as I steadied myself, meeting the stare of the dark mage who had conjured the magic that knocked me back to my now precarious position. And I watched as a wicked grin split across his features as he said, “Time to fall, Fell Star.”</p>
<p>As the ground began to tremble beneath my feet, I realized why. The edge on which I stood crumbled and I was falling, with that wicked grin chasing after me.</p>
<p>
  <i>To think, my savage nephew and the Fell Star who fell too far…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>...the Fell Star who fell too far…</i>
</p>
<p>I was falling and I was screaming and falling and screaming…</p>
<p>“Byleth!”</p>
<p>My eyes flew open, focusing on the face above mine. A single eye of piercing blue staring at me, wide, filled with concern. Dimitri. Here. Alive. And I was here. Alive. Awake.</p>
<p>His calloused palm moved away from my mouth where it had been tightly clamped, no doubt catching the scream that had broken from me even in sleep. His hand moved to my forehead, smoothing my hair back gently. “Are you okay, Beloved?”</p>
<p>I took a deep, shaky breath. “A nightmare.”</p>
<p>Dimitri laid back down beside me, shifting onto his side to face me.</p>
<p>I turned towards him, propping myself up on my elbows. “I was falling again,” I whispered.</p>
<p>He brushed his fingers across my cheek. “Is it because of what my uncle said?”</p>
<p>I frowned. That wicked grin.</p>
<p>
  <i>Time to fall, Fell Star.</i>
</p>
<p>“Yes,” I said slowly. “But… Do you remember… five years ago, we spied on Kronya and the Flame Emperor--Edelgard--meeting with someone?”</p>
<p>He nodded, carefully studying my face.</p>
<p>“That man… he was the one who knocked me off the cliff.”</p>
<p>His lips tightened into a thin line. It was the closest we’d come to directly discussing the fall that had taken me from his life for five years. Even when he’d beheld the scars across my back that were surely from my body smashing apart at the bottom of the ravine, he had just gently caressed them and moved on.</p>
<p>“I think… I think that man was Lord Arundel,” I whispered.</p>
<p>His eye widened. “How?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Kronya was able to disguise herself as Monica. I don’t really have any proof. Just a feeling, something familiar between the two.”</p>
<p>He rested a hand on my back, smoothly brushing over the scars. “I wish we’d been able to get answers from him then. But more than that… I wish I’d been able to take my time killing him.”</p><h3>Dimitri</h3>
<p>It was agony to wake, to pull himself from the sweetest dream he’d ever had. It was not that he hadn’t dreamt of burying his cock between Byleth’s legs many times, but even in his dreams, she never said the words that he’d give anything to hear. She never said <i>I love you</i>, until last night.</p>
<p>Movement against him had him finally opening his eye, focusing on the source of the motion, the source of the warm skin that was pressed against his own, the silken seafoam hair that brushed across his shoulder. Byleth was there, naked and wrapped tightly in his arms.</p>
<p>The night before had been real. Byleth had shared herself with him in a way that she’d never shared herself with anyone, just as he’d given himself wholly to her. And that meant that the words she’d given him had been real--she loved him. She loved him the way that he loved her.</p>
<p>He couldn’t stop himself from pressing his lips to hers, knowing that he didn’t have to hold back now. Knowing that he didn’t have to try and contain his feelings for her any longer, knowing that he could give into the way that he craved her, body and soul.</p>
<p>And give in he did, sinking between her legs again before pulling her on top of him. She pressed her hands against his chest as she rocked back and forth on his cock, and he gripped her hips, clinging to her as release barreled through him and he spilled himself deep within her again.</p>
<p>He was still catching his breath when there was a knock on the door and Dedue’s voice followed it, “Your Highness?”</p>
<p>Byleth moved off of him, nestling in at his side as he stared at the door.</p>
<p>“What is it?” Dimitri responded, grateful to that he’d managed to get the words out steadily.</p>
<p>“The war council is ready to meet,” Dedue reported. “Gilbert was requesting your presence.”</p>
<p>That was right. Dimitri himself had been the one to order that a council be held in the morning, to discuss Claude’s request for aid. To implore his friends to follow him into battle once again.</p>
<p>“I’ll be there… in just a bit,” he promised Dedue. And he would, but he was looking at Byleth, whose hair was mussed with sleep and sex, and he knew they couldn’t leave the room as they were.</p>
<p>“It was also requested that you bring Byleth if you know where she might be,” Dedue called through the door again before pausing to clear his throat. “No one has been able to find her this morning.”</p>
<p>No one had been able to find her because she was with him, because she had been with him all night. But there was something in Dedue’s tone, in the way he had paused, and in the sometimes frustrating way that his friend had always kept close tabs on him, that had Dimitri wondering if the vassal was not fully aware of where Byleth was.</p>
<p>“Dedue… How long have you been out there?” he questioned, trying to fight the heat building in his cheeks and neck as he shot another look at Byleth.</p>
<p>There was a long moment of silence. “Not long,” Dedue finally said. “I’ll… let them know that you and Byleth will be along… Take your time.”</p>
<p>There would be no containing the flush that he had no doubt was staining his cheeks, not as the implication of Dedue’s words hung in the air, the knowledge that he undoubtedly knew where Byleth was, and what had likely occurred during the night. But Byleth did not seem upset at the idea, instead a peal of laughter echoed from her.</p>
<p>And Dimitri was not ashamed, quite the opposite, in fact. But he was weary for the reaction of one person above all others. “If Sylvain finds out, I will never hear the end of this.”</p>
<p>“Are you not going to tell them?” Byleth asked.</p>
<p>And Dimitri was quick to reassure her, shaking his head as he cursed himself silently. The last thing he wanted her to think was that he was ashamed of her, not the truth was the exact opposite. “I’m sure they’ll find out eventually, I have no intention of hiding what I feel for you, not any longer.” He pressed another kiss to her lips, knowing that whether he intended to hide it or not, he would not be <i>capable</i> of hiding his feelings, not anymore. “But just for a little while, I want to keep this happiness all to myself.”</p>
<p>It would be obvious to whoever came to clean the room what had happened. The bedding was in disarray, the headboard was split in two, and there was a small amount of blood on the sheets from him claiming Byleth’s maidenhead. It was likely only a matter of time before rumors began to spread of the king claiming the virginity of a woman on the night of his return.</p>
<p>And even if those rumors did not begin in the castle, they would no doubt spread amongst the army, because he had every intention of laying with Byleth each night from here on out. And he did not care. Because he would make one more stop before they left Fhirdiad. He would visit the jeweler to commission a very specific item, and when the war ended in a victor that he was now more determined than ever to seize, he would present that item to Byleth.</p>
<p>He pulled back from her reluctantly. “I’ll be right back; I’m just going to draw a bath.”</p>
<p>After the tub was filled with steaming water, he went and lifted Byleth into his arms. But he froze when his hand slipped past the apex of her thighs where she was wet from the cum he’d released in her with his climax. He’d been a fool, so caught up in the pleasure of indulging in her that he had forgotten himself, forgotten the consequences that his actions could have.</p>
<p>“Byleth, I… I shouldn’t have… You’re not…” He struggled with the words, as he thought of the way he’d shot his seed deep within her womb, and a fierce mix of terror and hope flooded him at the thought of the woman he loved carrying his child. He would never be worth of such a thing, but someday, if she accepted the offer he would make her to be his queen, the request to stay by his side, for the first time in his life he could actually imagine such a future. But not right now, not in the middle of a war. “I should have pulled out.”</p>
<p>She was quiet for a moment as she watched him, no doubt processing the way that he had betrayed her while blinded by ecstasy. But her response was not what he expected as she said, “You don’t need to worry about that. Sylvain gave me something for it.”</p>
<p>He fought against the initial surge of jealousy, of rage, that raced through his veins. At the image of Sylvain sinking into Byleth. But Dimitri reminded himself that Byleth had not been with anyone else, that Byleth had given herself completely to him the night before, and he tried to soothe the monster that was straining at its leash that Sylvain had once again helped him when it came to her. “When?” he finally asked.</p>
<p>“The day before we departed for Ailell.”</p>
<p>The day that he’d kissed her, intending to take her, in the cardinal’s room. The day that he’d threatened Sylvain, warning him of the fate that would befall him if he dared to touch Byleth. And even after that threat, Sylvain had actually looked out for him.</p>
<p>And Byleth… The realization that Byleth had accepted such a thing from Sylvain, the understanding that she would have given herself entirely to him even then, had him pressing his lips to hers again as he sank into the steaming bath, continuing to cradle her against him.</p>
<p>“Dimitri,” she murmured against his mouth.</p>
<p>He reluctantly pulled back.</p>
<p>“What about the war council?” she asked.</p>
<p>The war council that he had called, the responsibilities that he had, the atonement that he still had to offer if he wanted to even attempt to overcome the guilt of being with her, unworthy as he was. “I know. We’ll go soon. I just… Just give me a little longer in this moment. Please,” he begged. Just a few more moments to have her all to himself, a few more moments before he had to take on the weight of the crown once more.</p>
<p>She did not deny him, opening her legs again to let him partake in the divinity within, to know the feel of salvation as he plunged into her again. And this time, knowing that he could freely pour himself into her, he thrust his hips against her as he reached his climax.</p>
<p>He knew they’d spent too much time away from their responsibilities, and that knowledge was the only thing that convinced him to help her wash quickly instead of taking his time soaping down her skin. That knowledge was the only thing that convinced him to allow her to quickly dress rather than take his time sliding her stockings up her legs.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t stop himself from fastening the belt that held her dagger across her hips himself, just as she did the same for him, returning his treasured weapon to his side. And he couldn’t stop himself from taking her into his arms for one more kiss before he went to face the world, to face the war, to be the king that he could only be with her at his side. To convince his allies to follow him again to render aid, because it was what a good man would do.</p><hr/>
<p>As soon as Byleth made it into the tent, Dimitri was pulling her against him, bringing his lips to hers. It had been agony to not do so all throughout the day, and he’d been grateful for the distraction of the day’s work, for the hard pace they were setting on their march, to keep him from dwelling on how the only place he wanted to be was with her again.</p>
<p>They undressed hurriedly, wasting no time on ceremony this time, instead rushing to strip down and lay down onto the furs spread across the floor of the tent.</p>
<p>He leaned in and breathed against her ear, “You’re going to have to be quiet.” Even though he knew there was no sweeter sound than her moans, just as there was no sweeter scent than the spring rain she exuded, he did not want anyone else to get to enjoy the serenade. It was a serenade that the monster would allow Byleth to sing for him and him alone.</p>
<p>But those thoughts vanished as he leaned back and his gaze settled on the discoloration at her hips. The bruising that was stained across the skin in the distinct shape of his hands. “Byleth… I… I did this to you.” He traced the bruises softly. “I hurt you.” Even after he had vowed that taking her virginity would be the last time he would ever hurt her, he’d wasted no time in breaking his word and hurting her again.</p>
<p>“This is nothing, Dimitri,” she responded quickly with a shake of her head. “I assure you; I am fine.”</p>
<p>But she was not, the evidence was right there upon her skin. The evidence that even if he didn’t want to, his presence would wound her.</p>
<p>She sighed exasperatedly. “Well then, why don’t you just lie back? Then you don’t have to worry.”</p>
<p>She pressed against his chest, pushing him down into the furs on his back. And he was unable to do anything but watch her as she moved down and made more of his fantasies into flesh, as she closed her mouth around his cock. He couldn’t stop the groan that slipped out of him as he clenched his hands into fists, clutching the furs to keep from reaching for her.</p>
<p>But as she continued to move her mouth on him, and as he recalled the way that it felt to slide into her, his resolve broke and he found himself dragging her up. “I take it back. I take it back. Just let me inside you, please,” he begged her.</p>
<p>And she obliged him, moving over him. But her cheeks stained with a blush as she nervously asked, “Was it… not good?”</p>
<p>“It was amazing.” Far beyond what he ever could have imagined, even in his wildest fantasies. “But nothing feels as good as… this,” he finished with a groan as she engulfed his cock.</p>
<p>Knowing the bruises must have come from his hands on her hips in the same position that morning, he pulled her to him and then rolled so that he was on top of her. And those sweet sounds began to escape her as he drove his hips against hers, but he placed his fingers over her lips.</p>
<p>“I meant it when I said you had to be quiet,” he whispered, his lips moving against the soft skin at her neck. “Because if someone heard you, if someone came in and got to see you like this… I’d have to kill them.”</p>
<p>Dimitri was getting better at containing his monster, but he knew that with the way he loved her, with the way that even the beast treasured her, wanted to possess her completely, that there would be no restraining him if someone were to see this sight, this sight that belonged to no one but him.</p>
<p>She let him cover her mouth, capturing each blessed moan that slipped from her as he thrust in and out, and she did not complain when he bit down on her shoulder as he shot himself inside of her, doing his best to muffle his own cries against her skin.</p>
<p>He could not resist her, that much was clear. And if he could not resist her, then he needed her to at least be honest with him. “You’ll tell me… if I’m ever… hurting you?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I’d tell you,” she promised him. “You really don’t need to worry, Mitya.”</p>
<p>“What was that, Beloved?” She had never called him by his title, and he relished the way that his name sounded from her lips. But there were others who called him by his name, none who called him by a different name like she just had.</p>
<p>Her cheeks lit up with a blush.</p>
<p>“I like it,” he assured her. “Another piece of you just for me… Say it again.”</p>
<p>“Mitya,” she murmured, and it was enough to have him pressing his lips to hers again before he laid back and tucked the furs around them, savoring the warmth that came from sharing the space with her, so unlike the cold that he’d endured for five years, the cold that he had been so sure had frozen him down to his very soul.</p>
<p>And the memory of that cold had his thoughts drifting to Cornelia’s words, to the dead that plagued him. “It was twenty years ago… There was an illness raging across Fhirdiad. While people were dying left and right… It was Cornelia who saved the Kingdom from that dreadful illness.”</p>
<p>“I can’t imagine it,” Byleth responded softly.</p>
<p>“Neither can I. By the time I was old enough to understand, that time had already passed.”</p>
<p>“Was Cornelia a doctor?” she asked.</p>
<p>“No, I hear she was originally an Imperial scholar,” he explained with a shake of his head. “She was in the Kingdom by my father’s invitation. People praised Cornelia as a saint for ending the epidemic. But there came a day when she completely changed. Her behavior, mannerisms, likes, dislikes… everything. Despite all that, Father still appointed her to a high post. After all, she had saved the Kingdom from ruin by that disease… But above all, my stepmother trusted her. That’s why what that woman said is…” He didn’t want to admit that Cornelia’s words were bothering him, worming their way into his mind. “Nevermind.”</p>
<p>“Your enemies are my enemies. We’ll figure it out, together,” she promised. And he knew, that if he had her by his side, then it would be possible for him to face the truth, whatever that truth ended up being.</p><hr/>
<p>The flames were everywhere. The dead were everywhere. Their skeletal fingers clawing into his skin, their screams echoing in his ears, drowning out the sound of his own screaming. “You should have died,” they hissed. “You should have died died died died died diiiieeeedddd like us.”</p>
<p>He had wished it for so long, but he didn’t want to anymore. He had something to live for now, something he had to reach. But even as he tried to climb out from the flames, those hand dug into him, pulling him back, dragging him into the depths of a pile of rotting corpses.</p>
<p>“Dimitri.”</p>
<p>The heavenly voice broke through the chaos echoing in his mind as a gentle, soothing touch caressed down the most ruined parts of him. A touch that gave life. A touch that saved him, again and again and again.</p>
<p>“Byleth?” he whispered as his vision finally cleared and the goddess he loved came into focus. The goddess whose throat he had his hand wrapped around. He recoiled from her in shame, unable to look at her. “I could’ve killed you just now.”</p>
<p>But even as he recoiled, trying to draw away from her, as he did nothing but hurt her, she chased after him, wrapping him in her warmth as she pressed her chest against his back and embraced him. “We both know I’m perfectly capable of defending myself,” she said softly. “Unless you need a reminder, in which case we can go spar.”</p>
<p>He knew that she was strong. The way she moved with her blade had cast a spell on him the day they’d met. But he also knew she wasn’t invincible, he knew that she could bleed, and he knew that she could fall.</p>
<p>“Nightmares?” she pressed gently.</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>As the silence wore on, he finally relented. After all, there was no point in hiding anything from her. Not anymore. He’d even revealed his lack of taste to her earlier that night after his jealousy had caused him to shatter the dishware he’d been holding.</p>
<p>So he would tell her, he would reveal to her just how broken he was, as she accepted him again and again, putting him back together by filling his missing pieces with herself. “I have had the same nightmare for nine long years. A nightmare in which I am constantly tormented by those who have died… They ask me why I have not avenged them… Why I got to live, yet they had to die… No matter how many corpses I piled up for them, in the end, their voices only grew louder. Voices loathing me, calling out to me… Their inescapable death cries ringing in my ears… clinging to my soul… Even now, I can always hear them. I am certain I will be hearing them until the day I die.”</p>
<p>The day that he had once longed for. But not anymore, not now that he had something to live for, something to believe in. He gripped her hand, tenderly resting against his chest, where his heart beat steadily for the both of them. “But I will not cover my ears. I will go on living… and their voices will serve as a warning. As a king… and as a wretch who has taken countless lives… I will build a Kingdom where the people can live in peace.”</p>
<p>“Mitya…”</p>
<p>“Perhaps it is foolish,” he murmured with a shake of his head. “But I wish to change the world in my own way. Perhaps then I can be worthy of you.”</p>
<p>“It’s not foolish, Dimitri,” she said as she brushed her lips against his shoulder. “I will be with you every step of the way, because you have always been worthy.”</p>
<p>She was wrong. He had never been worthy of her, and even if he atoned, even if he built a better world, he still was not sure that it would be enough. But she remained by his side regardless. And he could not turn her away, could not leave her healing presence, which muffled even the cries of the dead. “Their voices are softer when I’m with you.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be here when it’s hard to bear. To share your wounds, to share your pain,” she murmured.</p>
<p>Somehow, she loved him. Somehow, she insisted on remaining with him. His ally through all. He turned and pressed a kiss to her lips. “My beloved…”</p>
<p>And then she allowed him to once again sink into her, to sink into the absolution she offered, as he attempted to atone with each plunge into her body.</p><hr/>
<p>He hadn’t intended to deliver a fatal blow immediately, but his rage had been impossible to contain when his uncle had threatened Byleth. Everything paled in comparison to her--the information he desperately sought even now about that day, even the fact that Claude had revealed that Dimitri would be king of the former Alliance territories as well.</p>
<p>And it was Byleth that he as concerned about as he finally got her alone again in the room that he’d been granted to stay in within Derdriu. “What’s wrong?” he asked her. “You have seemed… troubled, ever since Claude mentioned Rhea. Are you… worried about her?” He’d wanted to ask her from the moment he’d seen the change in her posture, the way the light in her eyes had flickered. But he hadn’t been able to get her alone until then.</p>
<p>“No. I am terrified,” she whispered.</p>
<p>“I imagine if the Empire was intending to kill her, they would have done so by now,” he soothed her as best as he could. “Claude indicated that as well.”</p>
<p>“I almost wish they had. I am terrified <i>of</i> Rhea, not <i>for</i> her.”</p>
<p>He stared at her. The most fearless person he’d ever met. The only thing she’d expressed any kind of concern about was sleeping, the only time he’d ever heard her make a sound of terror had been when she fell. “I’ve never seen you afraid of anything.”</p>
<p>She was quiet for a long moment. “When we get back to the monastery, I have something to show you. I’ll explain everything then.”</p>
<p>It would be difficult to wait, but he would do so if he had to. He nodded before pulling her close, breathing her in and comforting her the only way that he knew how. “I will kill anyone should you ask it of me… even Rhea.”</p>
<p>The tension eased from her as she pressed into him, because even now, they were the same.</p><hr/>
<p>He was woken with a start by screaming. That same scream that haunted him, that sound of terror. He placed a hand over her mouth to contain the sound as he called out, “Byleth!”</p>
<p>Those spring green eyes fluttered open as Byleth’s gaze fixed on him.</p>
<p>As the screaming stopped, he pulled his hand back from her lips and swept the hair on her forehead back where it was damp with sweat. “Are you okay, Beloved?”</p>
<p>“A nightmare,” she breathed.</p>
<p>He settled back down next to her, laying on his shoulder so he could watch her.</p>
<p>She rolled onto her stomach, leaning on her elbows. “I was falling again,” she explained.</p>
<p>His heart ached as he realized that was what all of her nightmares must have been about. As he understood why he recognized that scream.</p>
<p>“Is it because of what my uncle said?” he asked as he gently caressed her cheek.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she murmured with a frown across her lips. “But… Do you remember… five years ago, we spied on Kronya and the Flame Emperor--Edelgard--meeting with someone?”</p>
<p>He nodded as she brought up a night that he would never forget. The night where he’d discovered the dagger that he had given Edelgard, when he’d first began to suspect his own family was his enemy.</p>
<p>“That man… he was the one who knocked me off the cliff,” Byleth said softly.</p>
<p>The white-haired figure. Their enemies, who had taken Jeralt from Byleth, and who had no doubt been a part of the incident that had stolen his own family from him. And now he was adding the atrocity of taking Byleth from him, plunging her to her death, to the retribution that he owed those monsters for.</p>
<p>“I think… I think that man was Lord Arundel,” she confessed.</p>
<p>“How?” It wasn’t possible, was it? But if they had been involved in the tragedy, and he suspected that his uncle was as well…</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Kronya was able to disguise herself as Monica,” Byleth explained. “I don’t really have any proof. Just a feeling, something familiar between the two.”</p>
<p>Perhaps it was possible after all. He couldn’t stop himself from trailing his fingers softly over the scars decorating the skin of her back. Proof that he’d lost her, and proof that she’d come back. “I wish we’d been able to get answers from him then. But more than that… I wish I’d been able to take my time killing him.”</p><hr/>
<p>When they finally made it back to the monastery, Felix approached him and Byleth. “Come with me,” his friend demanded, his eyes hard, leaving little room for argument.</p>
<p>Dimitri cast a glance at Byleth. “It’s okay. Meet me in my father’s old office after you’re done,” she said with a nod before departing.</p>
<p>So Dimitri obeyed, following Felix to the classroom where he’d spent a year watching Byleth, a year falling in love with his professor. And in that classroom, there was an ambush waiting, with all of his old classmates gathered together.</p>
<p>Felix whirled to face him once they reached the group. “Well, Dimitri? Are you finally going to tell us the damned truth?”</p>
<p>Dimitri crossed his arms. “What are you talking about?” It surely couldn’t be about his relationship with Byleth. He hadn’t explicitly revealed it to anyone, but he wasn’t going out of his way to hide it either. And the atmosphere was far too tense. A faint sense of fear drifted through him as he wondered if anyone had overheard their conversation about Rhea, and his offer to kill the archbishop.</p>
<p>“Didn’t Lord Arundel say something about you and Edelgard being family?” Ashe asked.</p>
<p>Ingrid shook her head. “To claim that the king and the emperor are related… Could it be?”</p>
<p>Dimitri felt the tension that had built up in his shoulders ease as his arms dropped back to his sides. The time for secrets was over. “Ah, I suppose I never told you, though I do recall mentioning it briefly to Byleth… Lord Arundel spoke the truth. My stepmother was Edelgard’s birth mother. Political turmoil drove my stepmother out of the Empire. Father fell in love with her at first sight and they married.” Just as he had fallen in love with Byleth at first sight. “I lost my birth mother before I was old enough to remember her. My stepmother filled that role for me. But she lost her life in Duscur nine years ago, along with Father.”</p>
<p>“Hang on.” Felix shook his head. “I didn’t even know she was your stepmother. Did my father know about this?”</p>
<p>He nodded. “Yes. All those who were close to my father knew, including Rodrigue. But to speak openly about it would have caused a scandal, and so she was our secret. No one in the general public knew about her. Naturally, the fact that Edelgard and I are stepsiblings was kept a secret as well.”</p>
<p>Mercedes frowned. “I’m finally beginning to understand what you went through five years ago. I mean, Edelgard is the only family you have left, isn’t she? To find out someone so precious to you is actually your most hated enemy… How heartbreaking.”</p>
<p>“But wait! You two were born and raised in two different territories, right?” Annette asked. “So you probably never met until you were both at the academy. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of fighting family is just about the worst thing ever. But hopefully the fact that she’s a stepsister who you never really knew helps with the pain… I don’t know, it was just a thought.”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid that’s not the case. Though it was only for a short time, Edelgard once called Fhirdiad home,” Dimitri replied. “It was a long time ago, but she was a cherished friend of mine.”</p>
<p>“Wait! I remember now!” Sylvain exclaimed. “She was that girl, wasn’t she? The one you gave a dagger to!” A smirk crossed his lips. “Although I have to say, the girl who gave you a dagger--"</p>
<p>Ingrid elbowed Sylvain. Hard.</p>
<p>Dimitri let out a sigh. “Sylvain. If you have any more foolish things to say, please hold them for later.” He was certain that his friend was about to say something about Byleth, but this conversation was to discuss his relation to the emperor, not his relationship with the woman he loved.</p>
<p>Sylvain shrugged sheepishly. “I do have a few more up my sleeve, but they can wait. Go on, Your Highness. This is important for us to hear.”</p>
<p>Felix frowned. “She may be a hated enemy now, but the emperor is your old friend and your stepsister. Can you bring yourself to kill her?”</p>
<p>Part of him still desired to tear her apart, to watch her blood spill, to split her skull apart, to hear each of her bones crack and splinter in his grip. But the part of him that wanted to atone, the part of him that wished to be better than he was, wanted to let go of the drive for vengeance that had nearly destroyed him in the name of peace. “I will kill her… if I must. But if there is any chance that the world she seeks to create could be a just one… Then I… I would love to see a future in which I may reach out my hand for her and have her reach back. That said, I have no intention of letting my personal feelings cloud my judgment. Too much is at stake.”</p>
<p>“Your Highness… I think you should meet with the emperor and at least try to talk to her,” Ashe suggested. “If there’s any hope of ending this war without more bloodshed, we have to try.  Besides, killing your own family… I’m sorry, but it’s not right.”</p>
<p>Dimitri nodded. “I… I think so too. And you are right that we should at least try.” Try to build a Kingdom where everyone could live in peace, even his most hated of enemies.</p>
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